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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 05 Jan 14 - 04:42 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 14 - 08:31 PM
gnu 05 Jan 14 - 09:40 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 14 - 10:06 PM
gnu 06 Jan 14 - 06:12 AM
Rapparee 06 Jan 14 - 10:05 AM
gnu 06 Jan 14 - 10:45 AM
Pete Jennings 06 Jan 14 - 11:02 AM
Amos 06 Jan 14 - 08:34 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 14 - 08:42 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 14 - 08:53 PM
Acme 06 Jan 14 - 10:02 PM
Amos 06 Jan 14 - 11:31 PM
Pete Jennings 07 Jan 14 - 06:06 AM
gnu 07 Jan 14 - 07:20 AM
Rapparee 07 Jan 14 - 09:29 AM
gnu 07 Jan 14 - 11:55 AM
Rapparee 07 Jan 14 - 03:18 PM
gnu 07 Jan 14 - 05:44 PM
Rapparee 07 Jan 14 - 06:35 PM
Amos 08 Jan 14 - 12:25 AM
Acme 08 Jan 14 - 01:38 AM
Rapparee 08 Jan 14 - 08:37 AM
gnu 08 Jan 14 - 12:08 PM
Acme 08 Jan 14 - 05:29 PM
Amos 08 Jan 14 - 07:45 PM
gnu 08 Jan 14 - 07:48 PM
Pete Jennings 09 Jan 14 - 06:08 AM
Rapparee 09 Jan 14 - 06:15 AM
Rapparee 09 Jan 14 - 08:10 AM
Rapparee 09 Jan 14 - 03:39 PM
gnu 09 Jan 14 - 05:32 PM
Rapparee 09 Jan 14 - 07:19 PM
Amos 10 Jan 14 - 12:34 AM
Amos 10 Jan 14 - 10:26 AM
gnu 10 Jan 14 - 11:00 PM
Rapparee 10 Jan 14 - 11:07 PM
Acme 11 Jan 14 - 12:09 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 14 - 03:17 PM
Amos 12 Jan 14 - 01:00 AM
gnu 12 Jan 14 - 06:58 AM
Acme 12 Jan 14 - 10:41 AM
Rapparee 12 Jan 14 - 11:54 AM
gnu 12 Jan 14 - 12:03 PM
Pete Jennings 12 Jan 14 - 01:05 PM
Acme 12 Jan 14 - 01:31 PM
gnu 12 Jan 14 - 02:56 PM
Amos 12 Jan 14 - 06:20 PM
Rapparee 12 Jan 14 - 06:47 PM
gnu 12 Jan 14 - 09:55 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 14 - 04:42 PM

Some chimps are more evolved than others. Chinga for example. She runs a real business, and took care of their mother for years until she expired of white-hunter's disirdfer. Her brother Chongo is a scrofulous gibbet-monger, a blockhead with no sense of individual responsibility, a poltroon, and an organic wastebasket.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 14 - 08:31 PM

"Chongo" was also Chinga's twin sister, Chonga, until s/he talked a missionary doctor into doing a gender-bender operation. When it was over s/he forced his/her sister and mother into a Life Of Shame to pay for it. Their mother died, Chinga developed her natural intelligence and talents into the success she has become.

Her sibling stowed away on a banana boat, sneaking into the US in Elizabeth, NJ and eventually setting him/herself up as a "private eye" in Chicago. No license, no real office, no ambition except to shoot firearms at random, nothing, not even the ability to rotate around the carpometacarpal joint and thus enjoin a truly opposable thumb, something even certain opossums enjoy on their hind feet.

Amos, I think you were far too kind in the truths you wrote.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jan 14 - 09:40 PM

10C and a half inch of freezing rain tomorrow? Old Man Winter must die.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 14 - 10:06 PM

Aw! That's TOO bad.

Monday, January 6: Clear, 30 | 15 F, Chance of Precipitation: 0.

Tuesday,January 7: Overcast, 36 | 24 F, Chance of Precipitation, 20%.

Wednesday, January 8: Overcast, 37 | 24 F, Chance of Precipitation, 20%.

Thursday, January 9: Snow Showers, 36 | 24 F, Chance of Precipitation: 50%.

Friday, January 10: Snow Showers, 36 | 24 F, Chance of Precipitation:
30%

Saturday, January 11: Ice Pellets, 38 | 28 F, Chance of Precipitation: 50%

Sunday, January 12: Snow Showers, 34 | 19 F, Chance of Precipitation:
50%

Monday, January 13: Partly Cloudy, 33 | 18 F, Chance of Precipitation: 10%

etc. Boooooooring! Nearly as bad as Sandy Ego.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 06:12 AM

Balmy, Rap but, then again, I like boring. Gonna be a mess here... no way they can clear all the slushy ruts before they refreeze.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 10:05 AM

Compared to the rest of the country and a lot of Canada, I'm cool with the weather here.

Mind you, Winter ain't over yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 10:45 AM

Winter will begin here on the 16th or sometime soon after. I just hope it will bring a steady and dry cold.

I assume your full moon is about a day earlier, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 11:02 AM

Been stormy and raining here for days and days now. Some folk are really getting a hammering. No snow or ice here in Staffordshire, though. 8.5C today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 08:34 PM

Fifteen to twenty Farenheit? I'll say you're cool with the weather. In case you hadn't noticed , Mister Aleutian Refugee, those are lethal temperatures for skinny dippers and sunbathers alike.

At least here it gets up to 60 or 70 in the midday stretch. We get a chance to resuscitate ourselves before evening sets in and the temps crash down to a frigid 50 degrees F. Bitter, I tell ya!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 08:42 PM

Currently in Churchill, MB it's -13F with a wind chill of -39. By Thursday the high will be a balmy -6F.

Okay, Amos, you asked for it. We'll come to Sandy Ego at the end of February just to see what (if anything) besides the MCRD is there. You have been warned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 08:53 PM

Dear Mom MOAB,

I forgot to mention that I might not be checking in on Wednesday, or if I do it will be late in the day. And it might not be very coherent.

You see, I'm having some more oral surgery done and I will be receiving anesthesia by IV and you know that always makes me sleepy. This time they are going to put in the "plugs" for the last of the implants. Yes, the bone graft worked very well and I thank the person whose cadaver supplied the (sterile, freeze-dried) bone for the lattice work.

But they are also going to do something more. It appears that I have a very, very chronic infection of the my right sinus. The good doctor (dental surgeon -- MD and a DDM) is going to drain that nasty ol' sinus, wash it out, and put a cork in any hole he makes.

It should be obvious to everyone except Amos that this will improve my already-dulcet singing voice to the utterly angelic, a voice suitable to cause ecstasy in all who listen. I am thinking of opening a used lingerie store to recycle the "intimate garments" I expect that women with fling at me.

Your fave rave son,
R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 10:02 PM

Rap, that sounds just about as bad as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Except it's a poke in the sinus, right below/behind your eye. I hope you feel better soon after all of that takes place!

It didn't get above freezing here today. Considering that this is generally acknowledged to be in the south, that is a disheartening winter day. There haven't been any of those delightful 65 or 70 degree days we get occasionally in the cool season. We all need to double up on our vitamin D capsules.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 14 - 11:31 PM

I can't wait to hear it. BTW the person to whom you are extending gratitude is probably a cow. The graft that is laid in to strengthen the upper jaw, in particular, is from bovine calcium, and it gets replaced by the body's own calcium over the healing period. Or so I was given to understand how the graft process works.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 07 Jan 14 - 06:06 AM

Thanks for the warning about the forthcoming incoherence, Rap. If we concentrate real hard, we may just be able to spot the difference...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jan 14 - 07:20 AM

Me and Rap are gonna be related? I don't know how I feel about that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 14 - 09:29 AM

Better you, gnu, than related to Chonga or Shame.

Well, I admit that the chronic sinus infection was snot good news. But it will be taken care of, and of course I'll have to pay through the nose for the surgery. To tell the tooth, the implants were paid for when all this started, back in June or so. The surgery itself -- well, I've had it before and now I'm hooked on the anesthesia. At least right now I don't have to take care of the yard and deal with mole or gophers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jan 14 - 11:55 AM

I hear ya, Rap.

During the regular season, I get anesthetized Monday and Thursday nights, on Sundays, and whenever I have leftovers. The rest of the year, whenever. Lent starts March 5 this year, with breaks on March 7 and 17, of course... and if there are leftovers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 14 - 03:18 PM

Yeah, I know. But but for Lent this year I will give up what I give up every year: temperance and moderation. I find that's best.

Went to the store to get some "soft or liquid diet" foods, for this surgery caries with it a couple of days of an "irregular" diet, molar less. Earlier I'd ask the surgeon if a liquid diet could be beer, wine, and whiskey but he said he'd prefer to supply the anesthesia. (I don't mean to go on about this but I'm trying to use up dental puns as they come to mind.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jan 14 - 05:44 PM

I hope you got some slime Jello.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 14 - 06:35 PM

No, but I'll be spitting out junk so I bought a pair of spittoons, one for my right side and one for my left -- bicuspidors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 14 - 12:25 AM

Just be sure to take caries them cuspidors, or they'll cavutate on ya.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jan 14 - 01:38 AM

Can men ever be called toothsome, or is that only for wenches?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 14 - 08:37 AM

I don't know...but I do know that if I called some men "toothsome" I could find myself in a lot of trouble. For one thing, they wouldn't know what it meant. I doubt that they'd appreciate being called a "sweet young-eyed Welsh cheese" either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jan 14 - 12:08 PM

Or a wee girl's blouse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jan 14 - 05:29 PM

. . . and my computer at work was hit by an errant command from an IT techie trying to reimage the computers in a library classroom. Yup. He pronounced it "toast." Has to reinstall my stuff. Good thing I save most of it to an external university drive. Twiddling my thumbs this afternoon.

Is today the day for the tooth ferry to transport new chops to our friend in Idaho?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 14 - 07:45 PM

In the fields 'round Pocatello
Lives a very clever fellow
Spends his days writing malarkey,
Posting jive, and being snarky.

Yet, sarcastic though he be,
He receives no calumny
For soe reason, hard to see,
Folks are fond of Rapparree.

What's this power? Is it magic?
Is it comic? Is it tragic?
Some dark voodoo, Rastafarian?
No. He's just an ex-librarian!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jan 14 - 07:48 PM

"an errant command"

Is that a 911 error? an "oh shit!"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 09 Jan 14 - 06:08 AM

Only if you get one of the earlier tail-happy models and boot it in the middle of a bend. The "oh shit!" bit happens just before you hit the wall backwards...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 14 - 06:15 AM

He is simply wonderful, that's all. A true knight errant, always erring but no erring-choker, his delight in the foibles of humanity is evident. Yet he does nothing in meanness even when holding up the simple humanness of humanity as its delights, unless one of them really pisses him off with its utter and complete stupidity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 14 - 08:10 AM

One must also admit that his has a 1911, not a 911, but he rarely does anything about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 14 - 03:39 PM

Obviously, dear Mom, I am the only one who cares. Here, let me take that bottle of Old Crow from you and -- keep standing, hold onto that stop sign if you have to -- I'll brush you off and take you home. No, not to Stilly's, she'd just give you tea and crumpets. We'll just step on in here to The Bourbon Barrel and have a hair of the dog and some stew and who knows, maybe you'll get into a rowdy rousing row and get to beat up a cop again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jan 14 - 05:32 PM

Beat up a cop? Like Garryowen?

Let Bacchus' sons be not dismayed
But join with me, each jovial blade
Come, drink and sing and lend your aid
To help me with the chorus:

cho: Instead of spa, we'll drink brown ale
And pay the reckoning on the nail;
No man for debt shall go to jail
From Garryowen in glory.

We'll beat the bailiffs out of fun,
We'll make the mayor and sheriffs run
We are the boys no man dares dun
If he regards a whole skin.

Our hearts so stout have got no fame
For soon 'tis known from whence we came
Where'er we go they fear the name
Of Garryowen in glory.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 14 - 07:19 PM

Mom would NEVER sing something like that! She's very militant pacifist!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 14 - 12:34 AM

The man with the 1911
Will never get back home to Glory
For the pearlescent entry to Heaven
Is denied if your visions are gory.
If you conjure up bloodshed and mayhem
Don't aspire to paradise rare
FOr no matter how often you say them
You can't cover your mind with your prayers.

Godfrey McElevant-Devant III,
A Pacifist Rebellion
Mangle and Twitter Press
Proof O'Pudding, Essex, 1948


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 14 - 10:26 AM

Looks like Chinga finally decided to straighten things out with Chongo and is on the way to find him. Call the press.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jan 14 - 11:00 PM

Third from suckin scum from the bottom of the barrel?

NAY NAY!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 14 - 11:07 PM

Sam Colt, it was said way back when,
Made every man equal back then
With his Dragoons and Walkers
And so many more barkers --
Mine are double locked in my den.

For no one is equal to me,
I'm a superior being, you see,
Good looking and smart
With a great loving heart
And a vocal range from C to C.

    O. Ball Reilly, Ballads For All Ages And Those In Between
               (Bliss, ID: Pony-X Press, 1907)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jan 14 - 12:09 PM

Between reinstalling programs, getting my laptop at work to consent to rest on the docking station without blacking out, to talk to my monitors, and now to download all sorts of software that a few months ago I was allowed to install via disc, I have not been able to visit MOM often. I'm glad Rap was here to dust her off.

How are the old chops now? Busted or looking better?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 14 - 03:17 PM

My "chops" are green and blue. Not only were the sockets for two implants installed on the left, but the right sinus was opened and drained of a chronic infection on the right.

But you oughta see da udder guy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 14 - 01:00 AM

The dentist? He's laughing all the way to the Beemer showroom...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jan 14 - 06:58 AM

All windows open and the furnace fan on. Ahhhh... fresh spring air. The five inches of ice in the driveaways? Gone. The six feet of snow on the front lawn? Four feet. And the temp is forecast above freezing ALL WEEK LONG!!! It's springtime in The Maritimes!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jan 14 - 10:41 AM

We're closing in on the ceremonial 50,000th post, dedicated to our late Katlaughing. I received a little box from Bill D a couple of weeks ago that contains a small portion of her ashes. People decided to let Kat visit and rest in areas with friends, areas she has or hasn't visited. I think the creek behind my house (a year round tributary of the Trinity River) is a lovely little spot, I've spoken about over the years, might be a good place for Kat to start another bit of travel. (Either that or in my new asparagus bed.)

I'll keep an eye out for that big post looming, and we might want to look around for one of her poems (a link) to post (someone put one on the mudcat facebook page recently) and we could ceremonially celebrate her life virtually and personally.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 14 - 11:54 AM

"...when it's Springtime in the Maritines it's 48 below...."

We're also approaching page 1,000. That, too, should have special significance.

Chinook yesterday, snow overnight, 30F right now, avalanches up in the hills.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jan 14 - 12:03 PM

Excellent suggestion, SRS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 12 Jan 14 - 01:05 PM

I vote for the creek, SRS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jan 14 - 01:31 PM

The creek is more dignified and wilder. Lots of birds, fish, snakes, turtles, coyotes, fox, turkeys, hawks and herons and ducks and owls, etc. Good company!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jan 14 - 02:56 PM

Good company is what everyone needs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 14 - 06:20 PM

Kat contributed a lot to the Mudcat history.

On the other hand, I don't believe she posted to MOAB much at all.

However, I do not feel the case needs to be argued.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 14 - 06:47 PM

My portion of Kat will be put in the Tetons, probably in the Spring. Things are beautiful there then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jan 14 - 09:55 PM

If I could I would share her where I want to go. There is a tree up country. It is within the "protected zone" near a stream. can't be cut down. It is a Silver Birch. It is fuckin massive. Every time I went by it when travelling Gary's Road (I named all the roads up country where I hunted) I would stop and pay homage to "The Tree". I never shot any partridge near that tree out of respect and there were many. I never even took a pic of that tree. I can see it perfectly in my mind right now. Kat would love it.


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Mudcat time: 17 October 12:01 PM EDT

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