Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 18 Dec 03 - 11:12 AM
Rapparee 18 Dec 03 - 10:27 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Dec 03 - 10:27 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Dec 03 - 10:11 AM
Rapparee 18 Dec 03 - 09:45 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Dec 03 - 09:36 AM
catspaw49 18 Dec 03 - 09:34 AM
Rapparee 18 Dec 03 - 09:26 AM
Rapparee 18 Dec 03 - 09:04 AM
Tweed 18 Dec 03 - 08:17 AM
catspaw49 18 Dec 03 - 01:23 AM
Rustic Rebel 18 Dec 03 - 12:43 AM
Rapparee 17 Dec 03 - 06:32 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 03 - 08:49 AM
GUEST,Shirly Holmes-Bi/lateral 16 Dec 03 - 10:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Dec 03 - 09:55 PM
CarolC 16 Dec 03 - 09:37 PM
khandu 16 Dec 03 - 09:27 PM
Tweed 16 Dec 03 - 04:06 PM
Amos 16 Dec 03 - 04:01 PM
Peace 16 Dec 03 - 03:42 PM
Amos 16 Dec 03 - 03:15 PM
Rapparee 16 Dec 03 - 02:20 PM
Tweed 16 Dec 03 - 11:39 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 03 - 11:14 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 03 - 09:30 AM
GUEST,ilk 16 Dec 03 - 12:55 AM
Tweed 15 Dec 03 - 09:49 AM
khandu 14 Dec 03 - 08:38 PM
Little Hawk 14 Dec 03 - 04:16 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Dec 03 - 01:44 PM
Little Hawk 14 Dec 03 - 12:48 PM
Tweed 14 Dec 03 - 11:56 AM
khandu 14 Dec 03 - 11:48 AM
Rapparee 14 Dec 03 - 11:16 AM
Tweed 14 Dec 03 - 11:12 AM
Amos 13 Dec 03 - 11:21 PM
GUEST,ilk 13 Dec 03 - 11:13 PM
Amos 13 Dec 03 - 11:11 PM
Little Hawk 13 Dec 03 - 10:47 PM
GUEST,Mrs. Bee 13 Dec 03 - 07:57 PM
GUEST,Elvis Presley 13 Dec 03 - 12:10 PM
CarolC 13 Dec 03 - 11:19 AM
Amos 13 Dec 03 - 10:59 AM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 13 Dec 03 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 13 Dec 03 - 10:10 AM
Amos 13 Dec 03 - 12:10 AM
Rapparee 12 Dec 03 - 11:55 PM
khandu 12 Dec 03 - 10:03 PM
Amos 12 Dec 03 - 10:00 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 11:12 AM

Good! It’ll help ‘em achieve a higher
state of consciousness
about MOAB! Folks
today are too dadgummed lazy, always wantin’ other
folks to do their work for ‘em.
I remember when I was a
mere lad, we had to work for our livin’ thirty-six hours each day
(we got time and a half for overtime)
and it was hard work, too, let me
tell you! Haulin’ water three miles each way, uphill both directions, dryin’ out buffalo chips for the fire, why...and
school, going to school, we loved school
because we knew that it was the best way to
get ahead even though we had to trudge, YES!,
trudge sixteen miles uphill each way in the face of a raging
blizzard even in the summer when the sun was sooooooo
hot it melted the very bricks in the streets like they was chocolate
bars and the teachers were tough but fair why I remember on time when my very own
bother.....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:27 AM

Hey, I'm a librarian! I could do it! Yeah! I could!

But I won't.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:27 AM

By the way, I've noticed that our friend Brucie's "!" thread seems to have gone the way of the dodo. Brucie, abandon such egotistical attempts at establishing new threads to plumb the inane. There is already a thread whose entire function is inanity personified. That thread is MOAB. Join us and revel in the utter peace and tranquility found in the total immersion into BS that can only be achieved here, at the Mother of All BS Threads.

Join us. Become one with the BS. Renounce all earthly posessions. Send all your money to:

Bruce W. LaWall
2942 Walling Rd.
Milton, FL 32570


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:11 AM

But this means that when future generations gaze in awe upon this MOAB they will see posts by "Mike Doellman", not "Rapaire", yet they will read references within other posts to something that "Rapaire" said and wonder just who in the hell this "Rapaire" person is. They will have to read 1600+ posts to find the answer.

Perhaps this brings us back to the subject of the need for a fully anotated "Guide to the MOAB" complete with miles of footnotes, indices, cross-indices and clarification of references to obscure Babylonian scatalogical religious practices.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 09:45 AM

'Tain't them trolls. I was thinking about it anyway. Iffen them trolls want to look me up and try to punch out my lights or somethin' this'll make it easier for them.

Of course, they will have to get to Pocatello to do it, 'cause I don't normally go somewhere to get my lights punched out. Some do, but I learned better, mostly.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 09:36 AM

RR, please do not interpret my comment "unless some smart-ass uses all 26 of 'em up in one post" as an attempt to "put a kabosh to (your) idea of using all 26 of (my) listed ideas in one post". As you are a dedicated MOABite, you are a smart-ass by definition. Use 'em all up in one scattergun shot if it trips your trigger.

Personally, I prefer the one-at-a-time approach.

ANT FARM

When I was a kid, I had an ant farm - nothing fancy, just ants in a big jar. Being a sadistic little fucker I would feed live cockroaches to my ants. Being a stupid little fucker I didn't realize that the only reason I was able to catch the cockroaches to feed the ants was that they were in the last stages of terminal Raid poisoning. As I continued feeding poisoned roaches to the ants, my ant farm's population continued to decline until it was just a jar full of dirt.

I learned a valuable lesson from that experience. Something to do with the chain of connectedness between all life forms and human culpability in breaking that chain, right? Wrong. I learned that only fucking idiots have ant farms. Cool kids play guitar.



(I will approach the list of 26 subjects in alphabetical order, one post per day, some holidays and travel days excluded. That should guarantee at least another month of keeping this piece of shit from falling into the land of non-refreshed threads.)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 09:34 AM

Geez Rap...What kinda' shinola is this anyway? A few of the sorryass troll Guest types seems to have induced a bout of name changing around here!!! Screw 'em!!! 'Course it's okay to be Mike obviously.....(:<))

Spaw


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 09:26 AM

Wow! Changing your 'Cat name changes ALL your postings! Cool!

(Formerly did business as "Rapaire," but still the same ultimately cool, virile, handsome, intelligent dude as before.)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 09:04 AM

RR, Christmas lights are an organic lifeform. Their natural state is linear, but when they are not "lit" (a technical term dealing with their seasonal nature) they attempt to reproduce.(1) They will make this attempt no matter how you arranged them when you "put them away."(2) Your annual attempts to "straighten them out" are not so much reducing a tangle as uncoupling an orgy.(3)


(1) Being a sterile lifeform this attempt fails, but they do have fun trying.

(2) Never use this phrase in their hearing, as they make not differentiation between "put" and "throw." If they hear this phrase they will engage in an even more complex orgy during the "off" season, hoping to at least have a little fun before the Big Off.

(3) The National Safety Council suggest quite strongly that no matter what your feeling are you do NOT join them. No matter how wired you are you could be shocked if you plug into this.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 08:17 AM

Spaw, I reckon that Liddle Harq will show some interest in yore new acquisitions az they sound like they are good durable products and not made obv rubber nor inflated and able to withstand vigorus abuse wifout blowin' a hole. I've gathered from hiz postings that the loss of hiz Margaret Thatcher life-size sex doll hab been a sorce of great constellation in his life.

Also, sinc you've here I would like to wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, az it is nearly that time again. Where does the time go? Seems like only yesterday you waz still shittin' yellow and now....well ...nevermind...

Yerz,
Tweed


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 01:23 AM

Well I wasted some time catching up with this piece of crap and I gotta' tell ya' that this thread is as fucked up as it's always been. I congratulate you all on bringing new meaning to the words "monstrous shitpile."

BTW, if khandu is going off the deep end again and needs another exorcism, let me know. I'm out of the blow-up dolls but I have just acquired some stuff that might be useable. We had some high winds here the other night and my neighbor's Nativity Scene was blown away with a good bit of it landing in my yard. A lot of the pieces are only slightly damaged and some are in interesting positions. One of the Wise Men seems to be copping a feel from the Virgin Mary, Joseph is shagging a sheep, and the Baby Jesus is stuck halfway up a camel's ass.

Lemmee know..........

Spaw

Spaw


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 12:43 AM

Bee-Dubya you sure put a kabosh to my idea of using all 26 of your listed ideas in one post. I also apologize to you for not sending get well wishes. I send them now. Better late then never right.
I want to BS about Christmas lights a bit.
Why is it I never put them away all nice and neat for the next year? I can't figure out why they work one year and then I take them out of their tangled up mess and have to work on finding the one bulb out of hundreds that doesn't work. Then I get them working and I put them up just to find they're not working again. Then I get a little frustrated and unplug them and will leave them unplugged until I can get to them again which will probably be after Christmas anyway. HA!
Ok, maybe that wasn't BS after all. Just a little ranting on my part that has nothing to do with anything. Just had to add to MOAB since it's been awhile.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 06:32 PM

'Twas Iceland, and the Lorna Doones
Did eels and dramamine in the wave,
All oreos were the ant farms then,
And hermaphrodites did crave.



Somebody else finish this....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 08:49 AM

Tanya Harding's uvula has vericose veins similar to those found in water buffalo, Xavier Cougat, or Yoda; her doctor has recommened an unconventional course of therapy: Bromo-Seltzer, Dramamine, quartz inversion, smoking Camels, and a conversion to evangelical Presybeterian Zoroastrianism.

THAT finishes off THOSE topics!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shirly Holmes-Bi/lateral
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 10:12 PM

(To the tune of-I saw momma kissing santa)

I saw Little Hawk kissing Mar-gar-et
underneath the porch beside the shed.
He didn't see me leap, he don't know I'm a creep.
He thought that he was all alone , instead he had Tom Peep.

Then I saw Little Hawk biting down on her,
What a funny look upon his face.
Oh you guys should have been there,
when Margaret ran out of air,
Little Hawk blew up his doll last night.

(This of coarse has no reference to the fact that Hawk had a blow up doll he called- Margaret Thatcher)
*See Penelope gets engaged for further reference.

Yours very truly,
Shirly Holmes


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 09:55 PM

1600 more posts? Hell yeah! We iz jus' gettin' warmed up. Gotta be a whole buncha topics we haven't touched on yet. Let's see....

Ant farms
Bromo-Seltzer
Camels
Dramamine
Eels
Footwear
Giant Sloths
Hermaphrodites
Iceland
Jabberwocky
Kickboxing
Lorna Doones
Margarine
Nestle's Crunch Bars
Oreos
Presbyterianism
Quartz inversion
Robotic welding machines
Solar heating
Tanya Harding
Uvulas
Vericose veins
Water buffalo
Xavier Cougat
Yoda
Zoroastrianism

That should hold us for a while. That is, unless some smart-ass uses all 26 of 'em up in one post.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 09:37 PM

"Wherever men take breath,
There shall there be B.S."


Or maybe it should be:

Wherever men break wind,
There shall there be B.S.

(Oh... did I just say that? Nope. I don't think so.)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 09:27 PM

Let me begin.
See the Antelope Rutledge thread for news of my deliverance from the morality pricks.
The question I have for all you semicrazed MOABites as this:

Are you up for another 1600 post???

HELL YEAH!!!!!!

LET'S DO IT!!!!!!!

Kk


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 04:06 PM

It's Bullshit Amos, of course. My god, how it courses through this thread...layered like last year's onion. Thanks Rapaire. Are your troops at the ready to spring the insaniac Khandu from his tormentors? The Tupelonians ride at dawn!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 04:01 PM

That should read "rippling OUR souls". Much less violent an image.

Brucie is that like a surgeon's instruction to an assistant? Or a random office-supplies comment? Or an agricultural update? Or what?

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 03:42 PM

staples


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 03:15 PM

And vice versey. That is the nature of BS -- each part of it is a reflection of all other parts of it.   It is like a Platonic Form which permeates all the insterstices of space itself to color every step, every day, every breath taken by mortal man.

"Wherever men take breath,
There shall there be B.S."

...as the old song says.

Well done to all concerned.

But we should also recognize that although it appears like an accomplishment, it is merely a reflection of the timeless whisper of the Ultimate Archetype of BS, rippling out souls in its relentless pursuit of ultimate Understanding.



A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 02:20 PM

You couldn't have done it without me.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 11:39 AM

Well I am finishing up the 1500's section ob this thread by being the

1600th POST!!!!!!



YES, I CLAIM IT, IT IS MINE MMMMWAHHHAHAHAHAH....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 11:14 AM

A friend in Louisiana sent the following to me. I find it to be excellent advice and urge ALL MOABites, without exception to follow it. Except, perhaps, for freds. Feel free to pass it one; you'll be doing others a world of good.

"I am passing this on to you because it has definitely worked for me. By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace........

It reads: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things
you've started."

I looked around to see all the things I started and hadn't finished. So, today, I have finished one bottle of white wine, a bottle of red wine, a bottle of Baileys, my Prozac, a large box of chocolates and a quart of beer.

You have no idea how good I feel . You may pass this on to those you feel are in need of Inner Peace. ..... Have a marvelous day."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 09:30 AM

It's nothing, ilk. Just the symptoms of a raging case of what the doctors call "death." Don't be alarmed; the symptoms don't last long.

It's caused by drinking water. It would never happen if you didn't drink water or something containing water. Which is why, from the very moment of my birth, I've consumed no liquid but liquor, with a minimum alcohol content of 90%. If you had done the same thing these changes wouldn't have happened.

So sorry. Someone should have told you sooner but I suppose they forgot.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,ilk
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 12:55 AM

Tweed?

I did as you said? I read the whole thing? I'm stunned? Something odd is happening to me? I'm growing hair in private places and my voice is changing? I watched "Little Big Man" 5 times in a row? "There is nothing on this earth as surprising as the attack without mercy"?

Today my postman attacked me without mercy...I was surprised?

I see everything differently now? It is similar to LSD. I bought some from a guy named Ellis Dee, but I did not take it? Is this normal.

My gonads ache? Does reading MOAB cause this!

How much is that wombat in the window
The one with the snarl on his face
I'll buy me that wombat in the window
And turn him aloose in this place

                                 Sinfully,
                                     ilk


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 09:49 AM

As allus yore kingliness, you are correct and all knowing and yore judgements are just and well contrived. Order is restored to the Kingdom as the Royal swans pluck my duck-like eyeballs from their sockets like ripe olives.

Tweed
BlindDuck of Mississippi


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 08:38 PM

I am constantly reminded of the brilliantly wise choice I made in choosing Sir Tweed as my Royal KOTROT & First Duck!
It is apparent That he studies my every proclamation word for word with his razor sharp insight to be certain that he understands his King's intents & wishes.

How sharp he is to immediately catch the subliminal message in my lowercase "ilk"!!!

Truly, I was temporarily tempted to remove the title of "KNOWER OF THINGS" from that fupped duck idiot BWL & bestow it upon the deserving Tweed!

However, I perceived the gratitude of BWL when he received a simple,
yet meaningful bit of attention from his King! Therefore, I will allow BWL to keep his esteemed position!

Kk


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 04:16 PM

I would just like to point out that Saddam Hussein did not offer his concerns online for Bee-dub's wellbeing...

And you see the results.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 01:44 PM

I am back and all better now. I would like to say "Thank you!" to those who have expressed their concern for my well-being and "Your time's comin'!" to those who have not.

Even King khandu has sent a PM expressing his concern. Actually, the PM said, "You are a fupped duck idiot!", but it's the thought that counts. I have archived the message and it shall have a permanent home on my otherwise dull and uninteresting Mudcat Personal Page. I'm even considering printing a hard copy and having it framed to hang in my meditation room along with the Buddha statues and such.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 12:48 PM

Just do NOT make the mistake of opening a can of "Operation Infinite Justice" or "Operation World Freedom"...(OWF!)

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 11:56 AM

Khing khandar,
I notice that you habv spelled ilk using all lower case letters with no other salutation. What does this mean??

Yerz,
Sir Tweed
KODROT


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 11:48 AM

ilk,

The Royal KOTROT Sir Tweed is correct. You must follow KOTROT's instructions to the letter! Only then will you understand any answer given to your questions. Return to us after the enlightenment & tell us what you have learned!

BTW, the threat of the cucumber was taken seriously. Be very careful, lest you do yourself bodily harm!

King khandu


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 11:16 AM

I once opened a can of "California Earthquake" thinking that it was a can of soup and damned near destroyed San Francisco. My Bay Area friends were quite put out with me.

My colleague, Frank, and his son are out ilk hunting this weekend.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 11:12 AM

My dere ILK,

Thar is a way to get on track with this lot. Click HERE and don't post agin until you've read the entrailed story or the page loads up, whichever happens first. Only then will you understand the enormous significance obv dachshunds, freds, spaw's birfday, portalet royalty, canned whupass, the Villyaness *PR* and Khing Khnadzer's odd habits and wayz which are mentioned and sumtimes expandd on to great lenqth.

I sencerealy hop thet this will clarinet yore mind and help enny obthers who are ilk-minded or dumbfondled by the elephantine largess to be decovered heer in this, the...

MOTHER OF ALL BULLSHIT



Yerz,
Tweed


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 11:21 PM

I suggest you find thee thy ilk, and do thou as they do that thou might recover from thine innocence.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,ilk
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 11:13 PM

This is my 3rd visit to Mudcat? This is my 3rd post also? I came here seeking knowledge of folk music? Yet, I somehow was sucked into this vast void at the bottom of the page?

What is this insanity. What has any of this to do with folk music.

I am dreadfully confused as well as terribly frightened? Have I somehow stepped into another universe where 6 is 9. Do I see someone pointing there plastic finger at me.

I have a cucumber? So don,t try anything untoward?

                                     Greetings,
                                           ilk


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 11:11 PM

Indeed! We are all cheering across the land for Bruce's rapid recovery, except perhaps Penelope who was betting on the whoop ass.

But, hell, what does she know??

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 10:47 PM

Let me offer my heartfelt sympathy and condolences, Mrs Bee! It is terrible when these sort of accidents occur.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mrs. Bee
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 07:57 PM

HELP!!! Bee-dubya's been hurt bad! He was making spaghetti for supper and went to open a can of tomato sauce, but it wasn't tomato sauce. He accidentally opened a can of whoop-ass on himself! He is all black and blue and probably needs a couple of stitches over his right eye.

I don't know how the can of whoop-ass got on the canned goods shelf. We usually keep the whoop-ass out in the toolshed. I heard Bee-dubya threaten to open a can of whoop-ass on our new kitten the other night, so he might have bought it when he bought catfood. I'm glad it was only a kitten-size can, 'cause if it was the industrial size or even the economy size can it might have killed the poor boy.

It doesn't look like anything's broken so he should be able to come out and play with you boys and girls in a day or so.

Mrs. Bee


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Elvis Presley
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 12:10 PM

Carol, I am proud to say that I have kicked the pickle habit for all time. I am turning over a new leaf, and am a new man in most every way now.

Thank you very much.

Elvis


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 11:19 AM

Thanks LH, Rapaire, and Amos.

Werner Heisenberg noted in his Uncertainty Principle that simply examining something changed it, and thus you could never know its immediate configuration. Likewise, by asking the question you changed the MOAB...

So, Rapaire, can I consider the possibility that having changed the MOAB by posting to it, I have also changed myself, perhaps even changing my consciousness, imbuing it with all of the qualities and wisdom of the MOAB, thereby rendering unnecessary the reading of the posts that I've missed?

Or is it possible that the MOAB is really more of a mobius loop, going endlessly round and round itself, never entirely breaking free to explore new BS possibilities, but only adding, endlessly, layer after layer of a tissue thin veneer of BS?

And WWSD were he to find himself in such a pickle? Or Elvis, for that matter?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 10:59 AM

Aw, Shane, ya missed it!! Pity. Slept right through, I guess....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 10:52 AM

Uhhh,..ist it Sunday yet?

- BDiBR


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 10:10 AM

Not a doubt in my mind.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 12:10 AM

You sure of that, man?

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:55 PM

Granted, but the uncertainty of the semantics demonstrates the uncertainty of Uncertainty itself. Indeed, one could argue that Uncertainty is the only certainty, but then we couldn't be certain of that because of Werner Heisenberg's Principle! It is the Ultimate, the Perfect MOAB Principle! Of THAT, and THAT ALONE, can be be certainly uncertain!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 10:03 PM

But will this place ever be cialled "mudcatmoab. org"?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 10:00 PM

Lordy, lordy, I b'leeve we got us a SUB-culture!! Truly I do!!

Mistuh BWL, thet was inspired and indubitably ethnic and indigenous in origin, which demonstrates thet the MOAB has its OWN folk music and needs a sub-thread-section for MOAB Music, as valid as any parsing of a shape-note papyrus ever found on any other thread hyarabouts!! You sir, are inspired!!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 19 October 11:08 AM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.