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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 22 Feb 14 - 09:35 PM
gnu 22 Feb 14 - 05:58 AM
Amos 22 Feb 14 - 12:20 AM
Rapparee 21 Feb 14 - 11:28 PM
gnu 21 Feb 14 - 09:34 PM
gnu 21 Feb 14 - 06:40 PM
Acme 21 Feb 14 - 05:39 PM
gnu 21 Feb 14 - 12:15 PM
gnu 21 Feb 14 - 12:02 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 14 - 11:25 AM
Pete Jennings 21 Feb 14 - 06:21 AM
gnu 21 Feb 14 - 06:18 AM
Rapparee 20 Feb 14 - 11:55 PM
gnu 20 Feb 14 - 09:27 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 14 - 06:13 PM
gnu 20 Feb 14 - 04:09 PM
Acme 20 Feb 14 - 01:55 PM
Pete Jennings 20 Feb 14 - 01:14 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 14 - 09:58 AM
Amos 20 Feb 14 - 12:30 AM
Rapparee 19 Feb 14 - 10:32 PM
gnu 19 Feb 14 - 07:32 PM
Amos 19 Feb 14 - 12:48 PM
Pete Jennings 19 Feb 14 - 10:19 AM
Rapparee 19 Feb 14 - 10:05 AM
Acme 19 Feb 14 - 09:28 AM
gnu 19 Feb 14 - 07:39 AM
Ebbie 19 Feb 14 - 01:44 AM
Rapparee 18 Feb 14 - 10:02 PM
gnu 18 Feb 14 - 09:14 PM
Ebbie 18 Feb 14 - 08:06 PM
Amos 18 Feb 14 - 07:36 PM
Ebbie 18 Feb 14 - 05:22 PM
gnu 18 Feb 14 - 11:36 AM
Acme 18 Feb 14 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 18 Feb 14 - 09:28 AM
gnu 18 Feb 14 - 08:00 AM
maeve 18 Feb 14 - 05:39 AM
gnu 18 Feb 14 - 05:31 AM
Acme 17 Feb 14 - 10:59 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 14 - 09:29 PM
GUEST,gnu on laptop 17 Feb 14 - 07:42 PM
gnu 17 Feb 14 - 07:25 PM
Pete Jennings 17 Feb 14 - 10:58 AM
Rapparee 17 Feb 14 - 10:39 AM
gnu 17 Feb 14 - 07:06 AM
maeve 17 Feb 14 - 06:41 AM
maeve 17 Feb 14 - 06:11 AM
Rapparee 16 Feb 14 - 08:53 PM
gnu 16 Feb 14 - 08:06 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Feb 14 - 09:35 PM

I'd think a dog running up there could shake the earth enough to start a quake - be careful, Amos and Maggie!

That's quite a rich diet you're offering up to your lady friends, gnu. Throw in some salad and fruit so they won't worry about putting on the pounds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 14 - 05:58 AM

"Total collapse of the interstate isn't considered likely, but the failure of on-ramps and shifting of the road bed would seriously impair its use."

Can't ya get quake tires fer that there? I got studded winter tires fer Mum's car a few weeks back after we had all those snow storms in close proximity time-wise. Ain't had but one real snow since so they must work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 14 - 12:20 AM

A finned salute stores up credit in Heaven, mon copain. You guys with your long tales of fish and Big Rivers need to find some sunlight to warm your puir bones, I think. We had some here in San Digo today--it warmed the land up t o > 75F, and everyone was wearing short sleeves. The dog was more than happy to take advantage by galloping along the many-scented borders of the trails that run through the nearby canyons of Marion Bear State Park. It's actually a small fissure leading off of the big fault-line coming in from La Jolla on the Pacific Coast about half-a-mile West of here. If the Coast ever breaks off, this fault line is going to be one of the dotted lines of cleavage. You can find it on fault maps labeled as the Rose Canyon Fault. You could look it up...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 11:28 PM

There was the time when my two brother and I were out wandering around The Swamp. A train was stopped on the tracks that went through The Swamp and suddenly we realized that the tank cars were filled with the last remaining furred carp in existence! They were being taken to Chicago to be made into fur things, like coats and hats, and they cooked up pretty good after you got the fur off.

We knew that this was totally unacceptable and that if we didn't Do Something there would be no more furred carp! If we could release them back into the creek...somehow...

Then my brother Ted yelled, "Quick! Take off your pants!"

That was a very odd thing to say, but he explained. We could put a pants leg over the tank car drain, stick the legs of our pants together, close the place where you put the pants on real tight with our belts, and use the setup as a sort of hose to turn the furred carp loose into the creek!

Quicker than a wink or two we did that, but found that we also had to use our long-handled underwear as well. We did, and butt-naked we watched as the furred carp shot out in the creek, where they would be able to get back the Mississippi River and freedom.

We managed to empty all 32 tank cars this way AND get dressed and out of sight before the train crew came along and found all of the valves open and the fish gone.

We never got a reward or anything other than knowing that we'd done a Good Thing, but the very last furred carp to leave did turn and sort of give us a salute of thanks with his or her fin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 09:34 PM

Nah. None a that there. I just had a nice tight ass. That's just one a tha reasons tha girls liked me. Ahhh... those were tha nights my friend, I thought they never end. Boy, was I wrong! Now my saggy ass just does well ta git ta the grocery store and back. But you oughta taste these spice cookies after a fishcake supper. They say the way to a woman's heart is thru her stomach and I can cook.

Wha? No? Still need a big dick? Jaysus! I can't catch a break. Really? Not even macaroni and cheese? SWEDISH MEATBALLS? I make em soooo good. Breaded haddock? Johnny Cake and sausages? Clam chowder with bar clams and lobster? Oh COME ON EH? Toast with Partridgeberry jam but that's it. If the lasses can't get with that, they don't get with me. It's on cracked wheat bread........ mmmm.... sexy eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 06:40 PM

BS? I got pics! Well, I don't have any of the time I pissed myself. I was in Nain, Labrador. Long story but, Nain is 13 miles from the Atlantic thru a bunch of islands so a head builds up and the tide rises real fast in Nain near the end of the cycle. I was out on a boulder field and... well.. after I saw the 8' fin comin toward me, I turned and couldn't see the big fuckin rocks I jumped between to get out there. Like I said, long story but I got close enough to shore to swim while still hanging onto my cod and char. However, the water was so cold that I pissed myself. Honestly, it had NOTHING to do with the fact that I was scared shitless of that big fin. Hmmmm.... that's another story.

Coffee break in Nain. Saaaay, I had a nice ass back in the day, if I do say so myself. Hmmmm... am I self-gay? or conceited? or reminiscent? of my youth? or wishful that I? or...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 05:39 PM

Uh-oh! Starting on fish stories - now THAT is real BS!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 12:15 PM

No takers? Well, a real woodsman never tells ya where the big ones are eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 12:02 PM

Years ago, afore my back got messed up, I used ta fish a pool just shy a tha spawnin grounds on tha East Branch a tha Northwest Arm a tha Little Fork a the Main Southeast Mercedes. It fed The North Main Mercedes just upstream a tha Big Benz Pool. Never caught many fish. Couldn't! Me an Tete Rouge, the biggest damn Irish you ever seen useta try to catch a small one and hang it in a net from four inch diameter maple pools so's we'd have a pole on each shoulder ta get n out. One day, he got a big one on the line... swallowed the meat hook right into his gut so I had ta fill n with lead from my trusty Russian 12. Nearly ran outta slugs. Had ta fillet n on the spot an make four trips. Tete Rouge had ta hitch a ride ta get his three quarter ton on accounta poachers mighta stole the fish if I'da drove him home with my half ton.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 11:25 AM

Oh fer...it's just east of where Little Lost River joins it, of course. Good fishing in the Big Lost River, too -- lots of dustmouth bass and dun trout and sometime even a sand sturgeon has been hooked (but you can't even pull them from the water, just remove the hook and let 'em go).

Good dry flies for the Big Lost are zebra duns, black gnats, evening duns, sparse gray hackles, and tan adult caddis. I'd suggest a 10-weight rod as a minimum, with appropriate backing, line, and tippet...anything less and you might be left with a broken rod! Them fish are BIG, but you don't usually need anything bigger than a .38 if you don't plan to do catch-and-release.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 06:21 AM

How do you know where the Big Lost River is?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 14 - 06:18 AM

I use garden worms fer small brooks and a skeeter fly on bigger water and a Green Machine or Brown Bomber on yer rivers, dependin on the salmon mood.

Long (and good) story but here's the Reader's... I was fishin longside a Tom Sellick and Ted Williams at Gray Rapids on the Main Sou'west Miramichi. Wind come up. Them lads was castin like it was calm so I stayed in. Bad move! I was lucky when the line wrapped around my head that the fly didn't pierce the skin on my forehead. Ya know what a Green Machine goin a hundred miles an hour feels like when it hits ya hard enough ta leave a clearly defined mark? I'd hafta go back and find the story I wrote years ago to get the words exactly right but the gist of it is that Ted ended up sayin sommat like... if I did sommat that stupid, I wouldn't call attention to it. I watched (from a lawn chair on the other side of the river) that man fish for hours like I was a baseball fan and the World Series was on the boob tube. True poetry in motion. Sellick was good too. There was an old guide that would fish there sometimes. Only as tall as me but everyone reeled in, gave way and watched him. Didn't take long. Guess he knew when and where and what to throw.

Directly across the river is where I first met Ted. http://www.flickr.com/photos/15565423@N05/8580132474/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 11:55 PM

6 Kg U235 + 6 Kg U235 (in 0.10 seconds or less) --> E=Mc2.

(NB: figure out the yield yourself, using the speed of light as 299,792,458 meters per second, and use only 10% or so of the total yield as the total effective yield because of the crudeness of the process.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 09:27 PM

Fishin baby! Gots ta get us some nuclear fishin. Can't find tha pic but I am sure ya seen it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 06:13 PM

He could move here and never need lights again at night. The glow from the Idaho National Laboratory's reactors make additional lighting unnecessary.

At the rest stop on Big Lost River outside Arco you can see the remains of twelve (12) nuclear reactors. No one knows how many the Navy has in their bailiwick out there -- security is somewhat tight.

Need a nearly new 500 pound bomb that was only dropped once, 60 years or so ago? We've got that out that way as well! You'll have to go looking for them, but metal detecting is a fun activity AND you'll make new friends when the security helicopters land!

The Arco Desert -- fun for the entire family!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 04:09 PM

Crowded... hmmmm... maybe not. Read the Papers on Monday after ther radiation study figures are released. Fuckedupshima has gone nasty again and I understand tuna are glowing on the left coast. I suggest that A move to the right coast so he can eat shellfish laced with crude oil rather than radioactive waste. At least that will grease his old joints.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 01:55 PM

Welcome to Texas. For weeks it has been exceptionally cold and nasty and icy. It was pleasantly warm for about 3 days, but now we're in fire season - warm, dry, very windy. Those pleasant days are few and far between - unlike in San Diego, which may get very very crowded after this U.S. winter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 01:14 PM

Hey, A, that brought a frown to my face. I'm not letting you get away with that! Please explain:

How "I've never understood people who pay money to go to places where they are surrounded by snow" is me being judgemental of anyone (other than maybe myself).

This "soggy privilege" of mine.

What "operations" have got to do with my post.

How Rap, or anyone else for that matter, is less fortunate than me.

The "tough Pocatello" lifestyle. Sounds okay here.

Pete.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 09:58 AM

Pearl Pureheart: "Help me! Oh, help me!"

Villain, sneering: "Aha! Submit!"

PP: "Never! Help me! Someone please help me!"

V: "I shall now start the saw that will cut the log to which you are tied into to lengthwise pieces!"

PP: "Better that than to submit to your foul desires!"

Sergeant Sigurd Sigurdsson, NWRCMP and professional hero: "Never fear, fair damsel! I shall rescue you! Take that, villain! And that! Your hands are as filthy as your soul!"

PP: "Ah, could you turn off the saw? Please?"

V: "Curses! Foiled again!"

PP: "The saw? Please?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 14 - 12:30 AM

It is true that life can suck, and also that one eventually probably dies; but the mellerdrammer in between is great entertainment for the price!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 10:32 PM

Not me! From what I'm told I won't enjoy the place I'm going to end up and so I'm not going to make the trip!

So there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 07:32 PM

Life sucks and then ya die.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 12:48 PM

Well, you live in the very center of a great deal of very soggy privilege, Peter. Don't forget that. Where Rapp lives, in Pocatello, life is more hard-scrabble, which tends to make people have operations at an early age. And escaping to a land of snow and ice which at least has some sort of lighting, even if it's just cosmic, is a welcome change from the grind of the tough Pocatello life style. Don't judge those less fortunate than you are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 10:19 AM

I've never understood people who pay money to go to places where they are surrounded by snow. I hate the stuff. And the cold. Give me the Med any time...only a two hour flight from here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 10:05 AM

Sort of. Yes, three times, and I have photos that prove it. Yes. I also went dog mushing and snow machine riding as well as attending classes on the aurora and astronomy in general.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 09:28 AM

Are you fully recovered from your travels? Did you indeed see the Aurora? Isn't that why you set out in the first place?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 07:39 AM

Ouch!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Feb 14 - 01:44 AM

sheeeesh Rap, you're too young for all that cuttin'. When my mother went through all the piecings and piercings and parcellings and parsings, she said that the *next* time she's going to tell them: Just take it ALL.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 10:02 PM

When I was young and growing up, we were very poor. At that time I had several discernible flaws, but we sold them to help make ends meet. As the ends we were trying to meet were part of a Mobius strip, we were never able to do so.

Be that as it may...I have news of some import, at least to myself. On March 19 I shall undergo pain and suffering, as I shall have a partial knee replacement then (a/k/a an unicompartmental artho...never mind). Yes, they are again going to cut into me and this time will replace the material removed with metals and plastics and glues and screws. The removed material will, of course, be flash frozen and flown to the Secret US Genetic Reserve, where The Government is keeping all bodily materials removed from me for use in cloning perfect human specimens should the need to replace the human race ever arise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 09:14 PM

I can vouch for that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 08:06 PM

I have no discernable flaws.











:)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 07:36 PM

I shall lay claim to it with a series of well-timed, flawlessly crafted quatrains of BS Doggerel, tweaking the idiosyncratic flaws of the personalities of several well-known MOABites.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 05:22 PM

Something to anticipate: Who is going to get thread #55555? At the rate the Mother travels it won't take long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 11:36 AM

AHA! I guess my ESP was malfunctioning. Or thrown off by your YT comment. Yes, I know you mentioned the CBC but I assumed, in my early morning state of mind, you... yeah, I shoulda caught on. Thanks. It's quite a setup they have. I can watch any olympic event live or pod. I assume y'all have an equivalent in the US.

That way, ya can watch CAN b USA in men's hockey on Friday.

Nope. Not a typo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 09:35 AM

I saw Jean, what I can't open is the CBC site he linked to earlier that he then implored us to watch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 09:28 AM

If you have MY word you need nothing more!

And speaking of nothing, it was a madhouse at the Legion Hovel last evening. The annual Golden Spite Dinner was held. This event celebrates the Coming Of The Railroads To Idaho, but the original sings were spelled wrong and since they're perfectly fine after 90+ years they're just reused. Anyway, the Sergeant Of The Guard attempted to remove Boulder Ferguson, who was trying to improve the aim of his chewin' terbacky spittin'. Boulder was getting pretty good and didn't take kindly to Samuel Olivia Branson trying to shove a large cork in his mouth. Comments about the "SOB the SOB SOG" were beginning to be made, and a FULL keg of beer was thrown through the wall as I was ducking and weaving out of there.

I expect there will be police reports in the newspaper this morning. There usually are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 08:00 AM

m proved it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: maeve
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 05:39 AM

Worked for me in Maine, Stilly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aX6XMIldkRU


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Feb 14 - 05:31 AM

Works for me. Here's the title... (former) prime minister jean chretien explains...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Feb 14 - 10:59 PM

I think I have two MOAB shirts now, thanks to Mike, who travels there every so often. I love them, and when I wear one I KNOW that I'm representing Mom, not some small Mormon town in Utah.

Thanks maeve, for digging out that post. Kat lived close enough to ground zero that posting wasn't a big requirement. :)

gary, that site wouldn't open for me. I guess I live on the wrong side of the border for the CBC to serve. Maybe they have YouTube videos that would span the continent?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 14 - 09:29 PM

You get that thing from the current government in Ottawa? Or from Washington?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,gnu on laptop
Date: 17 Feb 14 - 07:42 PM

Let's try this again. Okay. Keyboard. I think. Odd that it would not work, then work, the not work, repeat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Feb 14 - 07:25 PM

Running a virus scan and then a malware scan on the laptop to try to figure that shit out. Sorry. Thought I had it sorted. Posted elsewhere and came back here on the laptop and it started agan. Odd but there it is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 17 Feb 14 - 10:58 AM

Why not, Rap? I'd bid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 14 - 10:39 AM

True, easy enough to get them. Eiseley gave me a MOAB baseball-type cap. Well, it says "I ♥ MOAB" but the thought is there.

Hmmm...I wonder...perhaps I could put in the auction an offer for three or four tee shirts reading

    MOAB
the living
      ♥
    of the
Mudcat Cafe

One each in medium, large, XL and 2XL. I'd have to see what colors are available. I could even get the heart to drip blood. Winner pays shipping, all proceeds to Max.

Waddaya think?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Feb 14 - 07:06 AM

Thanks, m.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: maeve
Date: 17 Feb 14 - 06:41 AM

As far as I know, the following is the only post katlaughing made on MOAB:
                                  *******************
        BS: The Mother of all BS threads         21 Apr 06    07:02 PM

"Please note: I believe this is the first time I have ever, ever posted to this Monster of a Thread!

    I saw a fellow with a Tshirt, today, which said, in big, bold letters "MOAB." Now, we live across the border from a place called Moab (moe-ab)and I think that's what his shirt was promoting, BUT at first glance I wanted to run to hm, shake his hand, and say "Who ARE you? Do you know the Mother of them all on the Mudcat?!!"

    On second glance, I thought...hmmmmm, maybe a few beknighted blighters who have nothing better to do than add to the longest thread in history would like to bid for a MOAB tshirt or two in the Mudcat auction. Easy enough for me to get them, SO...if any of you puir souls are interested, please let me know and we'll get the ball rolling.:-) "

    katlaughing


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: maeve
Date: 17 Feb 14 - 06:11 AM

Here's to Kat. Thank you, everyone.

Maeve


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 14 - 08:53 PM

MIDDLESBORO, Ky. (AP) -- Jamie Coots, a snake-handling Kentucky pastor who appeared on the National Geographic television reality show "Snake Salvation," died Saturday after being bitten by a snake.

Coots was handling a rattlesnake during a Saturday night service at his Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus Name Church in Middlesboro when he was bit, another preacher, Cody Winn, told WBIR-TV

"Jamie went across the floor. He had one of the rattlers in his hand, he came over and he was standing beside me. It was plain view, it just turned its head and bit him in the back of the hand ... within a second," Winn said.


Well, I guess that if you don't know how to handle snakes you shouldn't be handling snakes. Me, I just pick 'em up and throw 'em away. And I do hope that the guy who got bit had clean hands cuz I wouldn't want the snake getting sick or anything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Feb 14 - 08:06 PM

I do this... it's $100. They offer $50. I say I will take $150. They say I asked $100!!! I say no, I asked $150 but I will take $125 and I have to pee so get your money out or leave cause I gotta go. And I start to go in the house and point to the video camera in the window and say... smile on your way out. I sometimes don't get my asking but I never waste my time.

The price is the price because it's the price. Even Jean know dat la!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aX6XMIldkRU


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