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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 14 Sep 13 - 06:49 AM
Rapparee 13 Sep 13 - 10:31 PM
gnu 13 Sep 13 - 05:30 PM
Acme 13 Sep 13 - 02:32 PM
Little Hawk 13 Sep 13 - 12:44 PM
gnu 13 Sep 13 - 12:37 PM
Little Hawk 13 Sep 13 - 10:58 AM
Rapparee 12 Sep 13 - 11:43 PM
Little Hawk 12 Sep 13 - 06:46 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 13 - 03:04 PM
gnu 12 Sep 13 - 11:58 AM
Amos 12 Sep 13 - 11:29 AM
Rapparee 12 Sep 13 - 10:50 AM
gnu 12 Sep 13 - 06:28 AM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 13 - 11:59 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 13 - 09:59 PM
Acme 11 Sep 13 - 09:45 PM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 13 - 09:01 PM
gnu 11 Sep 13 - 07:05 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 13 - 06:12 PM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 13 - 04:37 PM
gnu 11 Sep 13 - 04:01 PM
Amos 11 Sep 13 - 04:00 PM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 13 - 03:52 PM
Amos 11 Sep 13 - 03:44 PM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 13 - 03:09 PM
GUEST 11 Sep 13 - 03:00 PM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 13 - 10:21 AM
Rapparee 11 Sep 13 - 09:35 AM
Amos 11 Sep 13 - 08:29 AM
gnu 10 Sep 13 - 11:11 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 13 - 11:01 PM
Little Hawk 10 Sep 13 - 10:24 PM
Amos 10 Sep 13 - 08:19 PM
gnu 10 Sep 13 - 07:53 PM
Little Hawk 10 Sep 13 - 05:09 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 13 - 01:51 PM
Acme 10 Sep 13 - 12:58 PM
gnu 10 Sep 13 - 11:29 AM
Rapparee 10 Sep 13 - 10:04 AM
Little Hawk 10 Sep 13 - 09:57 AM
gnu 10 Sep 13 - 08:03 AM
Ebbie 10 Sep 13 - 02:27 AM
Ebbie 10 Sep 13 - 02:24 AM
Rapparee 09 Sep 13 - 09:37 PM
Acme 09 Sep 13 - 06:55 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 13 - 06:45 PM
Little Hawk 09 Sep 13 - 05:57 PM
gnu 09 Sep 13 - 05:51 PM
Little Hawk 09 Sep 13 - 12:57 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Sep 13 - 06:49 AM

Okay... for the fourth time, I am gonna try ta post this, dammit!

I use measuring cups for measuring. I use Owens-Corning CorningWare for baking. Hey, if it's good enough for ballistic missiles, it's good enough for macaroni and cheese.

I do have some glass pans but I don't like to use em. They are left overs from a previous wife.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 13 - 10:31 PM

Best check those measuring cups and stuff. Read this before bragging about your good buy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Sep 13 - 05:30 PM

D'ye wear yer gum rubber boots while yer draggin yer leaves trew yer cups, maid?

Speakin a cups! I bought Anchor (made in USA!!!) glass measuring cups today. A three piece set of 1,2 and 4 cup cups and a 2 qt batter bowl WITH lid for, taxes in, $15.80!!!! Now, if the weather would get get fallish, I shall be cookin cakes and muffins and what have you in regal style. Not everyone has a full range of such in their kithen. Oh, I expect Matha does but then, she doesn't even wash them. Her servants wash after the cameras are off.

Wish I had a cookin show. I could eh? Bachelor Cookin With Ganew... first, grab a beer and then...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Sep 13 - 02:32 PM

Every morning I have a couple of large cups of hot water. I prefer to drag a few dead dry camellia leaves through it before I drink it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Sep 13 - 12:44 PM

Perfect impetuosity of lizards trumps a dish of Albanian turnips.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Sep 13 - 12:37 PM

My memory isn't very good but I do remember the Ream-nosed Romflombler. Not that I actually care to do so, mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Sep 13 - 10:58 AM

Negative urbiage festooned with a length of obsidian, resting volubly upon burnt sand. A dragoon trots by. When light pervades obscurity, who can rant? Will technical devices observed in quiet moments ever equal the sound of a Ream-nosed Romflombler at dawn?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 13 - 11:43 PM

A squeeze of lemon juice, a little sugar, a tad of cinnamon, and a dollop of whiskey in it. Good for what ails ya.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 13 - 06:46 PM

"Caffeine--who can doubt it is a gift from The Divine to make our struggling glimmer of existence tolerable on this dark and mortal coil? Who, I ask? It is a plain truth."

Hmm. I have some doubt about it. Mind you, I don't insist one way or the other. But I can manage fine without it.

"My niece, a China scholar and teacher of Mandarin nearby, tells me the Chinese custom is to drink hot water in the morning. Straight up, hot water. Can you believe that?"

Yeah, sure I can believe it. The body needs plenty of water. Hot water helps to wake up and energize one's body after rest, taking a bit of the load off one's own internal heat-generating systems. The hot water by itself is fine, but it's even better with a little lemon juice squeezed in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 13 - 03:04 PM

Amos, you know damned good and well that you're not wet only because of your Depends.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Sep 13 - 11:58 AM

"Straight up, hot water. Can you believe that?"

Indeed I can as I have done such. I decided a pot of tea in the early hours of morn was not good, as I had been told by the throat hack, and I said to me, "I wonder if substituting a pot of hot water would help in deteaing me." Lo and behold, I was tealess for 3 1/2 years. Then, I had a mental lapse and was again well into my prsent addiction by the next morn.

As fer rememberin yer Bday, A, no thanks necessary unless there truly is a Mr. Facebook.

Happies atchya, A. May yer stings never snap and yer neck never warp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 13 - 11:29 AM

Rapp is wired indeed this fair summer's day. Your creative powers exceed even your solipsism!

Caffeine--who can doubt it is a gift from The Divine to make our struggling glimmer of existence tolerable on this dark and mortal coil? Who, I ask? It is a plain truth.

My niece, a China scholar and teacher of Mandarin nearby, tells me the Chinese custom is to drink hot water in the morning. Straight up, hot water. Can you believe that?

Inscrutable, that's what I say.

Today, indeed, sir Gnu, is the very anniversary of my desperate crowning into the world, measly, wet, and barely able to cling to physical existence. It took them days to talk me into staying once I realized what I had walked into. But I did, and at least I am no longer wet.

Thank you for the kind remembrance.

It is another hot, leafy-green and summery day in Bethesda, and I shall spend the time profitably by catching up my travel memoirs, as all good travelers must do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 13 - 10:50 AM

Would I joke about something as serious as the Palimps Heresy? I am shocked and saddened, yes, saddened, that you would even think that I would joke about Church history! I wouldst go throw myself off the bridge and into the river save that I might turn an ankle or even sprain one when I landed, for the river isn't very deep nor the bridge very high. Instead, I shall go forth and drown my sorrows in a wash of coffee in the company of Olde Fartes at the Legion Hovel.

Farewell, ye doubters! When next you hear from me I shall be awash, nay, flooded, with caffeine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Sep 13 - 06:28 AM

Scraping the bottom of the barrel, perhaps.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 11:59 PM

You're joking, I trust.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 09:59 PM

No, it's a bad spelling, meaning a follower of Palimps.

Palimps was an emetic of the 7th Century who taught that only by cleansing the body of effluvia could "True Cleanliness" be achieved. His most controversial teaching (and the one which got him burned at the stake) was that "True Cleansing" could only be maintained by sitting upon a hollow stylite in the bogs of Denmark while others of his followers operated a water pump below. He was labeled heretical, tried and burned by the Council of Badenvasser in 647. After his death his followers quickly disbanded, repented, and were again received into the arms (and hands) of the Church. Most were later extinguished in widespread auto-de-pyews.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 09:45 PM

Palimpsest - It's probably just an oddly named town out in the middle of Lycoming County, PA.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 09:01 PM

Yes. The next thing we may see is a slap across the face with a silk glove.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 07:05 PM

Threat level : Hmmph!

Just under Hurrrumph.

This is getting serious.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 06:12 PM

Who you callin' a palimpsest, huh?

I got relatives that used to have a shop in Bethesda, and my wedding reception was held in the Bethesda Naval Medical Center's Officers Open Mess. My mother-in-law and my wife both worked in Betheseda at NIH. You callin' them palimpsests? They can have to disappear into the anatomy labs of the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences so fast you won't know what happened. They got family that goes back a couple of centuries there, and they know how the cake is iced...just like they can have you iced, diced, and served up cold.

Palimpsest indeed! You may as well have called them a amanuensis or violaceous!

Hmmph!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 04:37 PM

"palimpsest" ??? By God, sir, you have outdone yourself. Were Elmore Leonard within reach of you, he would whack your knuckles with a ruler for indulging in such vain rhetorical frippery. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 04:01 PM

Where I sit, A's Bday starts in about 25k seconds. Let the banners fly and the bells ring!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 04:00 PM

Hi, Mom:

I am comfortably nestled in a neighborhood coffeeshop in the leafy boulevards of Bethesda, Maryland, the redolent center of much history and much dross. The streets are a shadow-fight between the echoes of important Past spirits and mediocre present ones, and the rattle and stench of their never-ending conflict haunts the corners where the old elms shadow young scholars intent on the procurement of penny sweets and iPhone apps.

Ne'ertheless, the whispers of Past Magnitude continue to echo among the old corners, the brick homes, the old colonial remnants of a sturdier and more devout time. The Pizza places and sandwich shops can whimper and shout their wares as they please; the old Whisperers will not be silenced or turned aside. The palimpsest of modernity cracks and reveals the etchings left by the authors of the Federalist, of the slave holders and the fomentors of Rebellion, still gripped in their bloody issues of Timeless Importance. I expect these streets will continue in this wise for the next century, while layer upon layer of New Stuff gets plastered over the slower incantations of Once Great Minds. Sic semper vanitas.

It has been a most intereasting trip down the ridges and bays of the East to the spreading hotbed of political noise and greed which has spread out like a blowfly's nest from the heart of our dying democracy in Washington.

Being footloose, and fancy-relatively free, I have a sort of removed perspective on the timeline that is unfolding in every corner and building and park around me--indeed in every automobile and every cellphone in all the busy hands of walkers. It makes for an interesting view of the unfolding time across which my travels are taking me.

I have a beloved niece who lives nearby, raising two great-nephews (I can't believe I actually said that!) and I will be visiting with her as soon as she gets home from her faculty meeting. I look forward to the delight of her company.

Soon I shall drive across North Carolina to impose my material burden on old Beaubear and we will explore some blues together. Until then, it is all love songs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 03:52 PM

Shatner, a "self-indulgent fop"? Oh! What a demeaning and thoughtless thing to say about one of the greatest thespians of our age! Fie, sir! How could you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 03:44 PM

Only when it comes to personal aspects such as personal rotunda, for example. A lifelike statue of him in his present form would commit his name for eternity to a shape easily 125 pounds over his fighting weight, and reveal him to posterity as a self-indulgent fop, and not at all the lean intergalactic wanderer as which he would prefer to be remembered. Even as the Captain of the indomitable Enterprise he was the living embodiment of human vanity and personal weakness.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 03:09 PM

You think? My feeling is that Shatner is a man who doesn't embarrass easily.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 03:00 PM

He was embarrassed by the rotundity of the form, I dare say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 10:21 AM

Please! None of those esteemed worthies actually live here, though Chongo does visit now and then when he needs a break from the big city life in Chicago. Shane has never stopped in Orillia, though he's been through on a bus the odd time on the way to Toronto. Penelope? I've been trying for years to get her to visit, but with no success. I'd love to see Orillia confronted with the very best of the Engish upper classes and see what would happen. Then there's William Shatner. The campus of the WSSBA stands proudly just outside of Orillia, and we have long hoped that Mr Shatner would come here to bless us with his presence...but he has not. He didn't even come for the unveiling of his statue which stands at the apex of the Central Rotunda.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 09:35 AM

Amos, old bean, I strongly doubt that you could have embarrassed yourself in any way before those like Sham McBride, Chong Chimp, Bad Penny, Ronnie the Slitch, or the Lizardman Freako.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 08:29 AM

It is NOT my birthday, Gnu. My birthday is far in the future--thousands and thousands of seconds in the future. Let's stay real here.

Well, you know that's not gonna happen, but anyway...don't rush me, okay?

Hawk, send my apologies to the cast of characters in Orelia. I did not have a decent suit with me and so felt I could not appear in a way that would match their impeccable standards of idiocy decency.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 11:11 PM

Are all the neighbourhood kids coming to your Bday party, A?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 11:01 PM

Blind River has declared a Day Of General Rejoicing, I understand from the news. It's either because Sham McBride is back in the pokey or because Amos didn't stop there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 10:24 PM

Orillia has declared a civic day of mourning, since you neglected to come here. We may extend it to a week of mourning. The City Council is talking about having you drawn and quartered in effigy out in front of the Opera House.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 08:19 PM

Today was Lazy Day in the quiet suburb of Glendale, outside of Philly. Rodin Day was yesterday. Tomorrow is "South to Bethesda!" day where my elder niece and her handsome husband rule over a household with two sons in it. One nine, one eleven. This promises to be fun.

I am reading a GREAT mystery called The Dante Club in which the leading characters are Longfellow, Russell, and Lowell--the Boston Brahmins of American literature. Terrific job of character building. Matthew Pearl, a brilliant writer.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 07:53 PM

LH... "I've been called worse things by better people."

Wiki has a list of his quotes. Brings back memories of better days.

I liked Joe too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 05:09 PM

Rap - Yes, but don't forget that Amos carries a cane that conceals a hidden rapier, as well as being a Master of Lapp-Gotch, and he can easily deal with press gangs and other such scoundrels who would attempt to Shanghai him.

gnu - I always liked Joe Clark. He seemed like a decent and reasonable man to me. Same for Robert Stanfield. But both of them lacked the killer instinct that is so vital for success in politics. As for Trudeau, I think he was an absolutely brilliant man with tremendous guts, and a great prime minister, though I didn't always agree with him on specific issues. I doubt we'll see his like again. Also, Richard Nixon called him an "asshole" once, and that's one more point in Pierre's favour. ;-D Trudeau was asked by the press about it and, showing his usual aplomb, very handsomely said, "I've been called worse things by worse men."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 01:51 PM

That's actually "Row Den", which is a nasty little waterfront dive. Amos is probably still drinking, because if you stop the barkeep knocks you on the head and sells you to a whaler setting out on a four year voyage, and if you stop the barkeep knocks you on the head anyway. The "exhibit" is a bunch of pictures from "Hustler" and "Penthouse" magazines that the Row Den puts up on the walls on the way to the men's room.

It's not "The Carytid Fallen Under Her Stone" or anything like the stuff by Auguste Rodin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 12:58 PM

Where in the world is Amos today? Is this the Rodin day?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 11:29 AM

I like em both, LH. #2 is quite an observation.

I always thought, after Joe gained weight, he was trying to imitate The Chief. Did a good job, too... at the imitation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 10:04 AM

Ebbie took my number! My palindrome! But it's Ebbie so I don't feel too bad about it. Now if it had been Sham or Chongo I'd probably go on a killing rampage, stomping every ant I could find. But Ebbie's a nice person.

By the way, Sham my son, you know what you must do to inherit. You'll want to get started soon, for the Will doesn't kick in until you're fully accepted and have taken Final Vows.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 09:57 AM

Oh, I see. Heh! Well, I don't think either Mulroney or Harper are stupid...but I do think having either of them as PM turned out to be a disaster.

Matter of fact, I once came up with this limerick:

Bob Stanfield could sell underwear
And Trudeau could certainly swear
But Brian Mulroney
Just gave us the Looney
Aside from a lot of hot air!

and this one:

Joe Clark had not much of a chin
"But don't worry," said Brian to him
"I'll take up the slack,
And lead the attack,
'Cos mine's long as the road to Berlin."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 08:03 AM

LH... my "duh" = Mulrooney and especially Harper.

dang? Drumroll.........


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 02:27 AM

dang


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 02:24 AM

You laggards. I've been waiting all day for the count to reach 48888 because it is so cool but, no. If I wait until morning someone will have run it up and past. So: 48884.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 09:37 PM

Amos responds with a burp and smile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 06:55 PM

Amos, I hope someone is feeding your dog all of this time you're away, or is she travelling with you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 06:45 PM

I got my new gunsight today, so pretty soon I'll be clicking out .45 Colt bullets from my little single shot out to 500+ yards.

Please note that this is an iron sight -- none of those fancy-pants, Amos-approved, telescopic, computer-driven sights for me! By God, if it was good enough for Custer, good enough for Rourke's Drift, good enough for Belleau Wood, good enough for Alvin York and Smokey Smith, it's good enough for me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 05:57 PM

Ummm...well, today...I've been at the computer...in the kitchen...downtown...out in the yard...downstairs...bathroom...kitchen again...then went to my accountant's office...back home after that...

What else you want to know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 05:51 PM

NEXT election? WTF have you been?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 12:57 PM

LOL! Oh, I like that... ;-) We need someone like that in the next election here.


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