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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,Chongo Chimp 16 Nov 12 - 02:36 PM
Amos 16 Nov 12 - 02:33 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 16 Nov 12 - 11:53 AM
Rapparee 16 Nov 12 - 10:58 AM
Rapparee 15 Nov 12 - 10:44 PM
gnu 15 Nov 12 - 06:38 PM
Rapparee 15 Nov 12 - 06:32 PM
gnu 15 Nov 12 - 02:26 PM
Amos 15 Nov 12 - 11:15 AM
Acme 14 Nov 12 - 09:59 PM
Rapparee 14 Nov 12 - 08:55 PM
Acme 13 Nov 12 - 09:39 PM
Rapparee 13 Nov 12 - 09:05 PM
Acme 13 Nov 12 - 12:45 PM
Amos 13 Nov 12 - 12:33 PM
Acme 13 Nov 12 - 12:02 PM
Little Hawk 12 Nov 12 - 11:43 PM
gnu 12 Nov 12 - 08:44 PM
Rapparee 12 Nov 12 - 06:43 PM
Little Hawk 12 Nov 12 - 06:24 PM
Amos 12 Nov 12 - 05:51 PM
gnu 12 Nov 12 - 05:12 PM
Rapparee 12 Nov 12 - 08:40 AM
Amos 12 Nov 12 - 01:24 AM
Rapparee 11 Nov 12 - 10:37 PM
Rapparee 11 Nov 12 - 12:35 PM
Amos 11 Nov 12 - 10:48 AM
Rapparee 11 Nov 12 - 10:31 AM
Acme 11 Nov 12 - 01:25 AM
Rapparee 10 Nov 12 - 11:03 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 10 Nov 12 - 08:14 PM
Rapparee 10 Nov 12 - 07:26 PM
gnu 10 Nov 12 - 07:18 PM
gnu 10 Nov 12 - 07:09 PM
Rapparee 10 Nov 12 - 06:38 PM
gnu 10 Nov 12 - 04:49 PM
olddude 10 Nov 12 - 04:23 PM
Amos 10 Nov 12 - 04:18 PM
Rapparee 10 Nov 12 - 11:56 AM
Amos 10 Nov 12 - 02:00 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 09 Nov 12 - 11:15 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 12 - 11:01 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 09 Nov 12 - 09:03 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 12 - 06:52 PM
gnu 09 Nov 12 - 06:51 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 12 - 06:40 PM
gnu 09 Nov 12 - 04:07 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 09 Nov 12 - 01:43 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 12 - 11:42 AM
Acme 09 Nov 12 - 10:28 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Nov 12 - 02:36 PM

See, Rap? He's incorrigible, just like I said. He don't deserve any help we could possibly give him. As to what he does deserve, I could go into that some...but not without usin' really coarse language...and that would not be polite.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Nov 12 - 02:33 PM

Wait....what? I am missing out on the change to be transformed as a human being by an imaginary secret agent working for an imaginary talking chimp who was imagined to have dreamed up the second-derivative agent, who uses imaginary weapons coated with imaginary chemicals to achieve results of debatable value? And I MISSED it? "I am..."...let me see...heartbroken? shattered? cast down? ruined? completely fucked up? Hmmmmm...Aha!!   

"...rendered stunningly indifferent! by this awful news."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Nov 12 - 11:53 AM

That was the sound of one of my "agents" firin' a juju dart gun atcha, Rap. The dart has obviously hit home, cos you are now experiencin' the first symptoms caused by the special jungle juice that we coat them darts with. Yer eyesight and hearin' improves, but yer mouth gets a bit dry...so ya gotta have a drink soon. Preferably a drink with high acohol content. Do NOT eat peanuts for the next 24 hours! If you do, all yer hair will fall out and yer "coconuts" will shrivel up and drop off. Within a day or two you will begin to notice personality changes. You will develop a deep desire to apologize fully to all those you might have offended by careless statements, unfair personal characterizations, and specist utterances. This desire will not only drive ya to apologize, but to send gifts of money and fresh fruit to them folks you have offended in the past. Then you will realize that yer true purpose in life is to help establish species equality and you will rush out to join the APP or some similar organization that is workin' for species' rights.

The effects are irreversible, but don't worry! You'll be a better person soon and you'll be livin' a happier and far more useful life.

- Chongo

p.s. We would do this favor for Amos too, only he don't deserve it, and we don't want him. So too bad for him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Nov 12 - 10:58 AM

Once again I must pull Mom from the muck and mire! There was a large "SHHHHHHHHHHURRRRRRRLLLLLP-POP" sound and now, for some strange reason, I can hear and see better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Nov 12 - 10:44 PM

Yeah. Mind you, I was just checking. I don't really like him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Nov 12 - 06:38 PM

Ya mean Mitt tha twit piece a shit?

Yeah.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Nov 12 - 06:32 PM

You callin' my buddy Mitt names? Huh? Are ya?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Nov 12 - 02:26 PM

"like a Romney pup"... hahahahahaa!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Nov 12 - 11:15 AM

SOrry, Mom. I was back in LA. My son and I moved everything he owns from his storage unit to his apartment and didn't finish until 6 pm./ Then we went out for burgers and I drove back to San Diego and crashed around 11. Exhausting, but very productive day. The last trip was a hoot--navigating through rush hour traffic with queensize mattress and bedspring strapped down to the roof of the car like a Romney pup. But we pulled it off and he is happily established a couple of blocks from Beverly Hills and bicycle distance fr5om work. Yay, team.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Nov 12 - 09:59 PM

MOM was fine. She was re-reading The Grapes of Wrath an wanted to experience some hardship to put her in the mood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 12 - 08:55 PM

Poor old Mom. Nobody cared enough to post today except me, way out in the wilds of Far Northwestern Illinois. Second from the bottom, she was, ready to flushed away like some old piece of upchuck. Well, I've saved her from A Fate Worse Than Death, to whit, oblivion.

Y'all can thank me by sending large amounts of cash (US dollars only please, no checks).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 09:39 PM

These are young purple 'gines.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 09:05 PM

Wouldn't it be better if she sent him eggplant instead of oldbluejeans?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 12:45 PM

d'accord!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 12:33 PM

I really like him. Stilly, send him some aubergines!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 12:02 PM

MOM, I have to cook, can, or freeze a big tub of eggplant and a bucket full of peppers. We picked them yesterday in advance of a cold front that froze out the plants last night. Baba ghanoush, anyone?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 11:43 PM

Wonderful!!! LOL!!! He's a grrrreat comedian!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 08:44 PM

Just dunno if you have (n)ever heard this guy.

Oh, and it's Danny B'Hoy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 06:43 PM

To bad Shame doesn't have an email address. I could send him a password cracker program. You just insert the disk and the program automatically tries the most likely combinations and if that doesn't work uses a "brute force" program. Never has taken longer than an hour, and that includes numbers and "special characters."

Of course, it could be a "word" derived from a phrase, such as "Shame sucks ditch water through a dirty Dixie straw" would become "SsdwtadDs". Or the password could be derived from all sorts of other sources, none of which would occur to Shame because quite frankly he has a tough time walking and breathing at the same time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 06:24 PM

Holy crap! I'm glad our Canadian libraries aren't like yours, Rap! (although, yes, some of those problems do arise now and then...but it sounds like you're in what could almost be called a war zone...)

The worst thing the Blind River library has had to deal with, generally, was Shane trying to log into porn sites on their computers. He's been banned for life. He plans to fake his own death soon, so he can get back in....

Don's latest girlfriend, Jill, has also set up her laptop computer so Shane can't use it. She uses a secret Password. He has tried about 500 different passwords he made up to try and get past the startup, but they've all failed. Don has advised Shane that if he gets mad and busts Jill's computer, he'll be in VERY deep shit, so it hasn't happened yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 05:51 PM

I have always been on the side of librarians, for the good they do. I would defend them against any muck or scum that wandered in, if I were on site at the time. Actually I am glad Eiseley has a banger. It adds dimension to her impeccable nature.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 05:12 PM

The NRA is all over safe handling of weapons. So are the governments of the world but that just depends whose side you are on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 08:40 AM

No, she packs what she called her "cooler." As in, "I think I'll cool him off -- permanently." Not wanting to scare the children with loud noises she uses a custom made, silenced, .45 ACP made for her by Kimber firearms. Being small it only holds three rounds, but she's never needed more than one because she never misses. She graduated from Library School Magnum Bang Loudly because of her skill with her handgun,
and is a member of Banger Pfft You, the Library Science honors fraternity for those who demonstrate both academic excellence and outstanding marksmanship.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 01:24 AM

Your own pre-determined bias in this matter is well known. How about the sweet lady librarian Eiseley that you left behind--does hse pack heat on the job?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 10:37 PM

Mom, get back up there and stop consorting with those tacky political threads down near the bottom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 12:35 PM

Amos, you obviously have never worked a public desk in a public or any other library.

Let's see know: stolen things, from gum to coats to purses to almost anything not tied, nailed, and welded down; leaky diapers; being loudly told to your face that you're a "lying son of bitch" after you've spent an hour digging up the information someone wanted and didn't agree with; puking patrons; heart attacks (and you're yelled at for calling 911); people who stink; transgenders, dressed as men, who want to use the ladies' room; drunks of every description; being cussed at because you won't let someone use the phone to call their friend in Honolulu; child abusers; exhibitionists; racial supremacists of every shade; fights, from kids to adults with knives; bomb threats and actual bombs; mentally ill folks who are off their meds and frightening you and others; homeless people who ask for help and then won't take it; beggars going from person to person; "studs" hitting on everyone who takes their fancy; child sexual abusers; extremely amorous teens and older...library workers see and experience it all if they work in a library for any length of time. And they still smile and go about their business of assisting you.

Do know that some librarians (public and academic) have full-time cops stationed there? Can you guess why? --hint: it's not to control the kids at pre-school story hour.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 10:48 AM

I think arms for librarians is an excellent idea. Otherwise how could they move the books around?

Guns, not so much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 10:31 AM

Maybe I can get a grant!!! This could go nationwide!

"Lissen, punk, and lissen up good. I'm a LIBRARIAN. Go on, make my day."

"Yes officer, that man came into the bank and started shooting. But it worked out okay, because fortunately Cindy Lou, the Reference Librarian, was here. HE won't be bothering us anymore!"

Oh, the people at the public service desks would love it! And catalogers:

"Waddayamean, you think it's cataloged wrong? You better smile when you say that, pardner."

Library directors:

"So you think that it was rude of the clerk at the circulation desk to make you wait in line to check out this book and now you object to the book being in the library at all. Well, I object to your face!"

"Mindy, I hate to do this, but I've warned you and warned you that you MUST pick up your brass after dealing with a patron. We're not made of money and maintenance has to reload our ammo. I'm afraid I'll have to let you have it."

Or Kiddy Litters:

"That was just a warning, kid, to keep quiet during Story Hour. Next time I'll do more than just clip your ear."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 01:25 AM

Do these folks know that you're arming librarians? And teaching them how to shoot?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 11:03 PM

Chonga, until you mentioned her name I'd never heard of her before. I can't keep up with all these Hollywood starlets and actresses and things.

I'm back from the dinner. Turns out the Friends of the NRA are 501(c)3 and sponsor things like firearms safety programs and hunter safety classes -- they're always under the eye of the IRS so they gotta be really, really careful not to get political. In fact, I don't think I heard the words "Obama", "gun control", or anything like that all evening. The four-year-old girl at our table DID want the fancy-schmancy gold-plated rifle that was on display, but she had a red rubber cobra so it all worked out okay.

No, I didn't win any guns in a raffle or anything else.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 08:14 PM

Sounds like a good dinner to be at, Rap. My only real problem with the NRA is...they are a little soft on promotin' responsible gun ownership. Still, they try. I gotta admit they try.

Put it this way...I would trust Rachel Maddow even more if she was packin', know what I mean?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 07:26 PM

Ladies and Gentlemen and gnu.

I have an announcement to make. This is serious.

In a few minutes I'm going to do something I've never done before. Yes, I admit that I shouldn't have let myself get roped into it. It was a slip and I'm paying for it.

The other day I went up to the Legion Hovel and Machine-Gun Sam stopped me. He drew himself up to his full five feet two inches, waved something in front of me, and said, "You a member of the NRA?"

I allowed that no, I was not. He pulled out a GIGANTIC revolver and stuck it under my nose and replied, "Gimme thirty-five dollars for a ticket. I'll buy you a drink."

"I don't HAVE thirty-five dollars, Sam," I said.

"Okay. Here's thirty-five bucks. Now give it to me and I'll give you a ticket," said he.

I took the money and gave it to him. He handed me a ticket.

And I'm off in a few minutes to dinner. It's the annual banquet for the local group of Friends of the NRA.

Forgive me. I was coerced. But it amounts to a free meal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 07:18 PM

BTW! Dan... welcome to the MOTHER!

In this thread you will find a "chatroom" of a select few crazy (and some sane, but pay no attention to them) twits with the collective IQ of thousands. Why, I myself contribute close to 100 IQ points, although, not every time I post.

All hail the D.

PS... I'da said OD fer "olddude" but... you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 07:09 PM

You did? Ya think so?

Not that the shit I spew makes any sense but, then again, nobody EXPECTS me to make sense.

Then again, that there can be an asset, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 06:38 PM

So...having perfect awareness I could stop ALL energetic interactions. Perhaps I'll...no, that would be impolite and rude, even distasteful even to me.

Y'all go ahead on and interact.

I have spoken.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 04:49 PM

Black holes are cool. But, they are far from that which Amos speaks to. Indeed, I am zeroed when I listen to to your mucic, Dan.

Number 9 is a black hole that concerns me far more. >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: olddude
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 04:23 PM

exception ... black hole right


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 04:18 PM

I don't think "cold" has any further meaning when molecular motion ceases. ZPF fluctuations occur even in the apparent vacuum of space. There is some evidence that a perfect "zeroness" is only found in the purest form of awareness, not in any slice of space-time.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 11:56 AM

So, Amos old bean -- how cold does it have to get before ALL energy ceases and protons and bosons and neutrinos and bo'sons and electrons and quarks and stuff all fall completely apart, drifting to somewhere like lacy snowflakes amidst the dark forest primeval?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 02:00 AM

ABsolute zero is a temperature at which all molecular motion has cased, defined as -270 on the Kelvin scale of memory serves. But even at that temperature the quantum level fluctuation of zero-point energy continues. For a good layman's recap on ZPF, read "The Field" by Lynn McTaggart. ALthough it is a popularization she does a good job of reciting the issues.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 09 Nov 12 - 11:15 PM

Har! Har! Ain't she a hoot, Rap? I swear, nothin' can add life to a dull party like invitin' my good buddy, Sarah Palin, and gettin' her to expound on current affairs, history, science, and what have you. The laughs never end. What I like is her sense of commitment. She is like a bulldog, Rap, she gets hold of a thought or an opinion and she just don't let go no matter what! And she likes shootin' too. If I was not already "taken", and if Sarah Palin was available, I would give it some serious thought, cos it would sure keep things lively, let me tell ya.

I tried to talk her into bein' my runnin' mate at one point, but she was not interested in the number 2 spot...plus I got hell from my own number 1 about it. So I hadda give up on that idea.

Too bad, but ya can't have yer cake and eat it too, right?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 12 - 11:01 PM

"Evolution is just a theory, like, ah, gravity" was uttered by your girlfriend Sarah Palin.

She also said:

"But obviously, we've got to stand with our North Korean allies" and
"He [Paul Revere] who warned, uh, the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin' sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 09 Nov 12 - 09:03 PM

Don't pretend to be even dumber than ya are, Rap! "Gravity" is just a word we use, and what we mean by it is this force we gotta deal with that makes things on this planet fall down instead of up or sideways, see? Everybody knows that. We hadda give it a name, so we called it "gravity". That don't mean we know for certain why it works that way, but we do know it does work that way, and that's good enuff fer most people. Now...we got some theories about why it works that way, right? And those theories are stuff that the scientists came up with. They might be interestin', sure, but do most people really care??? No. It's good enough for them just to know THAT gravity works the way it does, regardless of the damn theories. And that goes for most everthing else too. If ya know how somethin' works ya can deal with it just fine. Let somebody else come up with the theory as to why, and he can give himself a big pat on the back for bein' so smart when he does, and then all his followers can pretend they got one up on the rest of humanity, but all they are really doin' is followin' the latest popular trend, that's all. They dump one religion and take up another and figger they've made to "the promised land".

Meanwhile, those of us who know how gravity works...which is EVERYBODY...go on dealin' with it on a practical basis, just like we done before the latest theory came along. Ain't nobody out there, Rap, that don't believe in gravity...although they might not know the word...or the theory.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 12 - 06:52 PM

Better to be pissed off than pissed on, as they say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Nov 12 - 06:51 PM

Absolutely. Unless you piss me off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 12 - 06:40 PM

But what, after all, is absolute? Can we ever really know that something is absolute? Justice is not a absolute. Neither is mercy. Can zero, an uncountable thing by definition actually be an absolute? If zero can be absolute, why not one or 3.14159265etc.? Can an absolute number be absolute? What about irrational or imaginary numbers -- are they absolute, or can they ever be such? Can we ever be absolutely certain of anything at all? A famous person recently said that gravity is only a theory, like evolution, and he seemed absolutely sure of that. Can't we all just get along?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Nov 12 - 04:07 PM

"ANd further, that this occurs even at absolute zero."

Are you proposing a re-definition?

Far as I am concerned, that's absolutely not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 09 Nov 12 - 01:43 PM

He should consider doin' that at Walmart too. Plenty of whales navigatin' around there last time I looked.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 12 - 11:42 AM

Yes, Stilly, there are.

Amos does sea kayaking, and to win in the 'yaking contests he must harpoon a whale from his kayak, drag it back to the beach, flesh it, butcher it, and render the blubber down into oil. Scoring is done on weight of the whale and time taken for all of the above.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Nov 12 - 10:28 AM

But my question about sea kayaking went unanswered. Is that the form of the sport you participate in, Amos? Are there schools of kayak sport? Do tell us all about it.


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