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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 07 Jan 06 - 10:21 AM
Amos 07 Jan 06 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 07 Jan 06 - 10:50 AM
Amos 07 Jan 06 - 11:13 AM
Acme 07 Jan 06 - 02:10 PM
Amos 07 Jan 06 - 02:59 PM
Amos 07 Jan 06 - 04:46 PM
Rapparee 07 Jan 06 - 09:51 PM
Acme 08 Jan 06 - 12:16 AM
Amos 08 Jan 06 - 01:18 AM
Rapparee 08 Jan 06 - 09:02 AM
Acme 08 Jan 06 - 10:03 AM
Amos 08 Jan 06 - 10:46 AM
Rapparee 08 Jan 06 - 01:04 PM
Amos 08 Jan 06 - 02:45 PM
Rustic Rebel 08 Jan 06 - 04:23 PM
Amos 08 Jan 06 - 05:09 PM
Amos 08 Jan 06 - 05:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jan 06 - 10:07 PM
Rustic Rebel 08 Jan 06 - 10:52 PM
Rapparee 08 Jan 06 - 11:02 PM
Amos 09 Jan 06 - 09:27 AM
Bunnahabhain 09 Jan 06 - 09:54 AM
Rapparee 09 Jan 06 - 11:40 AM
Amos 09 Jan 06 - 12:42 PM
Rapparee 09 Jan 06 - 06:48 PM
Amos 09 Jan 06 - 06:59 PM
Amos 09 Jan 06 - 08:37 PM
Rapparee 09 Jan 06 - 09:59 PM
Amos 09 Jan 06 - 10:38 PM
Acme 09 Jan 06 - 10:47 PM
Amos 09 Jan 06 - 11:04 PM
Bunnahabhain 10 Jan 06 - 07:59 AM
MMario 10 Jan 06 - 08:14 AM
Rapparee 10 Jan 06 - 09:38 AM
MMario 10 Jan 06 - 09:58 AM
Amos 10 Jan 06 - 11:24 AM
Rapparee 10 Jan 06 - 03:26 PM
MMario 10 Jan 06 - 03:40 PM
Acme 10 Jan 06 - 09:09 PM
Rapparee 10 Jan 06 - 11:05 PM
Amos 10 Jan 06 - 11:30 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 06 - 09:47 AM
MMario 11 Jan 06 - 09:59 AM
Rapparee 11 Jan 06 - 02:48 PM
MMario 11 Jan 06 - 03:13 PM
Amos 11 Jan 06 - 03:33 PM
Acme 11 Jan 06 - 05:19 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 06 - 05:40 PM
Amos 11 Jan 06 - 06:01 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 10:21 AM

Is a ball.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 10:36 AM

That Bunnhaibian has balls!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 10:50 AM

Didja hear about the two cannibals? One says "Watcha doing?" and othe one saysk, "Having a ball."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 11:13 AM

Then he realized the ball he was having was from a Barnum and Bailey clown they had captured, and he said, "It does taste funny...."


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 02:10 PM

Rant all you want about balls, but remember the punchline: "Things go better with Coke!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 02:59 PM

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa (Reuters) -- King Kong may be a far-fetched creation of Hollywood but scientists say the big ape has some basis in biological fact: animals on islands often evolve into gigantic versions of their mainland kin.

"There is a whole body of research on islands which suggests gigantism occurs on them but of course nothing on the scale of King Kong," said Sue Lieberman, an evolutionary biologist and director of the global species program for WWF International.

"There is evidence that this happens because of isolation and a lack of competition ... the further an island is from the mainland the more potential there is for the evolution of new species," she told Reuters by telephone from Rome.




I believe this also reflects on the growth of egos. Although no man is an island, it is clear that any individual can emulate insularity by either erecting barriers to block off his inherent connections with all life, or by choosing some obsessive computation that makes him or her feel more "right" than any other, necessitating the reduction of any other in his viewpoint. Either mechanism will serve, and both produce augmented insularity in the individual world view. Because this is an artifact and not the natural condition of the individual it absorbs a great deal of mental effort, usually below the conscious level, to maintain the state of pseudo-separation.

Under these conditions, the growth of the indigenous fauna -- notably the Ego -- can be irritated to respond by developing a condition of gigantism, which in the makeup of an individual is something like a case of hives -- painful, itchy, inescapable, and dominating.

I leave it as an exercise for the reader to identify any he or she may know to whom this applies.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 04:46 PM

BTW, Mag, I don't get the reference to COke; do you mean that COke (presumably from old-fashioned curvy glass bottles) is preferable to males?

Coke bottles may last longer, but they can't operate a t.v. remote or hang your Mondrian, now can they?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 09:51 PM

You have a Mondrian? I have (somewhere) a Miro lithograph.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jan 06 - 12:16 AM

I was typing that quickly to beat number predators, in case any cretins were aiming at round numbers. It is a really old joke.

A group of cannibals were so lucky as to snag a missionary and his canoe in the wilds of ________ (the way Jane Austen did it--fill in the blank yourself). He was traveling with his personal goods and some foodstuffs, including a case of Seven-Up.

The cannibals cooked and consumed the missionary, eating everything except his thing. . . and as I already gave away below, when asked about why they didn't eat the thing, the answer was "things go better with Coke."


You may have to be of a certain age to remember that slogan. Or do they still use it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 06 - 01:18 AM

Oh, I remember the slogan all right; right back there with "Round and Firm and FUlly Packed" and "Lucky STrike has Gone to War"!! :D

But I missed the association with cannibals.

Sorry I went haring off in the altogether wrong direction there!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 06 - 09:02 AM

I knew what she was refering to. Which tells you how old I am. Yes, I admit it. I'm an old codger, although a mere babe when compared to, oh, mountains or dirt or the galaxy. I stumble along muttering to myself, sipping Geritol out of a paper bag, drooling, my teeth mostly gone and whatever is left yellowish black and rotten. Soup stains cover my tattered sweater and would cover my ragged pants if I wore pants. And it all depends upon my Depends anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jan 06 - 10:03 AM

This is the vision that pops into his head when he glances down at his chest after lunch and realizes he has a spot of soup on his tie. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 06 - 10:46 AM

Why do we wear those damn tie things, anyway? I count myself fortunate I no longer have to, working in an informal engineering firm, but if I were President I'd do shirtsleeves and no tie fpr all but the most formal occasions. I don't understand 'em, ties. They think they are so important, but all they do is hang around....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 06 - 01:04 PM

I'm weaning myself off ties, even at work. Sometimes I wear 'em, sometimes I don't, and sometimes I wear a bolo -- big ol' chunk of silver in the shape of a griz, or a slide with white turquoise or something.

That is, when I remember to wear a shirt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 06 - 02:45 PM

PLease do remember. No-one wants to run into you without a shirt; they'd be drummed out of the Temple, for one thing, on charges of malfeasance and misidentification of divinity...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 08 Jan 06 - 04:23 PM

So if things go better with coke, what do peckers go better with?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 06 - 05:09 PM

Ummmmmm.....Olive oil? Hershey's? I dunno.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 06 - 05:13 PM

In other news a scientist has predicted a working prototype of a hyperdrive engine within five years that would, if successful, enable travel to Mars in days and travel to other solar systems to be viable.

OOOOOOoooo!! I HOPE so!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jan 06 - 10:07 PM

The US air force has expressed an interest in the idea....

No shit! A hyperspace drive and the USAF is interested? Who could imagine?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 08 Jan 06 - 10:52 PM

Damn- I figured someone would answer wood. Okay so much for that bullshit.
In other news..folks I have just started a thread on advice for putting on a blues festival. If you have any great wisdom, please help me out up there. Would love to hear it. Thanks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 06 - 11:02 PM

Ya gotta have about 400 years of oppression, an angst certificate from somebody like BB King, be on parole or just outa Central State (penitentary, not University), be able to play your axe 'til your fingers bleed and your mouth organ until your lips bleed, a woman that done you wrong, and a pickup that...no, wait, that last is for country music.

Oh, yeah, it helps to have a name like "Howlin' Wolf" or "Blind Lemon Pledge" too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 09:27 AM

Nahhh, man; all yah gotta do is find other people like that and organize 'em up...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 09:54 AM

Organising a blues festival I don't know about specifically, but on the general principals of organising festival stuff, go mad now.
It'll mean people are used to it by the event. Much better than going mad the week before it. You're posting to Moab, so that's a good start.

The next popular exercise is getting artistic types to actually give you a useful answer if they're going to be there or not. Unlees you pin them down, they'll still be telling you maybe until three days after it's finished.
A useful warm-up for this is trying to heard an infinite number of cats away from several plates of salmon, without annoying any of them...

Whilst doing this, you should be using your other hand to try and hold off the real world, comprising such necessary evils as venues, caterers etc, who also like to know what they're supposed to be doing.

Promise yourself that you'll get someone else to organise the next one. I know a couple who took a year off organising our annual trip to a festival, by getting married. They organised a wedding as light relief instead that year.

And remember to enjoy it!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 11:40 AM

Motorcycling must be great fun. It's left the governor of California in stitches.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 12:42 PM

Just don't give Arnold any lip, now, Rap.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 06:48 PM

He's one MEAN motor scooter....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 06:59 PM

Thank Gawd for BS.

He must have a wicked sense of humor, Thomists notwithstanding.... :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 08:37 PM

Bigfoot fever erupted last month when some fish farm workers claimed to have spotted three of the beasts -- two adults and a youngster -- on the edge of a forest reserve in southern Johor state.

Their improbable tale was lent some authority soon after when an Orang Asli -- an indigenous ethnic group known for their expertise in the jungle -- also said he had stumbled across one of the legendary ape-men.

"He saw the creature which was hairy and brownish in colour, it was about 12 feet (four metres) tall," said Johor National Parks director Hashim Yusoff.

"It was not aggressive, but the Orang Asli was startled by the creature and ran away.

"My personal feeling is that there is a possibility it could be what we call in Malaysia the 'mawas' ... more of a primate," he said. "But we don't deny the sightings," he added, insisting that the Orang Asli "do not lie."

"We've got to prove it and we've got to do it scientifically."

Wildlife authorities have embarked on a quest to verify the claims, and are considering mounting camera traps to capture images of anything roaming the jungles.

...............

Man, this is the week that WAS. Hyperdrive and Bigfoot in ONE WEEK!!! Wowwwwwww.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 09:59 PM

AND my rifle stock came today. Now I can eventually finish the flintlock Jaeger I started over a year ago.

And yes, the carving is VERY nice indeed. Oak leaves, acorns, and three-pointed Celtic knots.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 10:38 PM

And new research has discovered that our planet used to fart more than it does now:

A team of University of Minnesota scientists has discovered how iron- and chromium-rich rocks can generate natural gas (methane) and related hydrocarbons when reacted with superheated fluids circulating deep beneath the floor of the Atlantic Ocean. Because the process is completely nonbiological, the hydrocarbons could have been a source of "food" for some of the first organisms to inhabit the Earth. Also, methane is a potent greenhouse gas, and this process may have contributed to global warming early in geologic time, the researchers said.




This doesn't really lead to anything but it makes me chuckle.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 10:47 PM

Finally got through, and now that I'm here, I don't have anything to say. Bummer!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 11:04 PM

Stilly, c'mon now. Inter-galaxy drive systems? Bigfoot sightings? A farting planet? What's it gonna take?? :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 07:59 AM

Well, that's easy. Someone stands on the moon, with a lighter, and uses the Earths farts to power it to the next galaxy....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 08:14 AM

I didn't realize that 'Bigfoot' occurred over such a wide range - thought it was more or less confined to the NorthWest region of the US, and the nearby Canandian territories.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 09:38 AM

Nah, I've seen the shoe stores in England and Ireland and France.

Planet farts would have been food for early organisms? I ain't gonna TOUCH that one!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 09:58 AM

well - they know that "organic" chemicals can be produced by inorganic (strictly chemical) processes - so the planet farts - which result in organic materials that life can use would help - cause otherwise the only fodd would have been each other for the poor little primitive life forms - and thus all life would have been based on cannibilism - not a good start -


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 11:24 AM

Looks life life is stuck between a rock and a hard place, so to speak, Rapaire...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 03:26 PM

Lemme work this out:

The planet farts and supplies food for various sorts of early life.

The life forms die and decompose, becoming fodder for the planet which converts them back into planet farts.

These farts supply food for various forms of early life.

So...what's the big deal? That's what happens now, isn't it?

In DC, I mean...the Congressional leadership eats the...never mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 03:40 PM

Think of it as a tune.


You have shown the simple ABABAB progression - when in reality it is far more of an improvisational music jam where you have:

A
B1
B2
B3
B4
A
B1
B3
B5
B2
B5
A
B1 through B99
A


where the "B" portions are - simple life forms eat the planet farts and proliferate and speciate and have almost uncotrolled growth to the limits of the food supply.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 09:09 PM

It would be interesting to see one of the "Intelligent Design" folks take this one and run with it. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 11:05 PM

God's bones!
Gadzooks = God's Hooks (hands).
Gadarts = God's Farts.

I.e., intelligent design. Shows God really, really cares about life on Earth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 11:30 PM

Or that someone who lives here has been inventing vocabulary, maybe...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 09:47 AM

's blood, man! Accuse you me, Sirrah? Would you have your head stricken from your shoulders? Would you have your guts cut open and your blood stain the gutter?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 09:59 AM

RANT mode ON


NOW HEAR THIS!



there will be no staining of the gutters! None!

Have a little consideration for those of us with our minds down there! Do you know how long it takes to clear the view after you stain the gutters? Hmmmm? Well, lemmee tell you - it takes a long time, and a lot of elbow grease. And are those who do the gutter-staining around afterwards to help with the cleanup? No, Nay, Never! I tell you - I have had my fill of cleaning up after gutter staining yahoos and their snickersnees!


RANT mode OFF


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 02:48 PM

I shan't allow his blood to stain the gutter. If he persists in his persistence I shall be certain to place a layer of plastic down to prevent gutter-staining.

Besides, I don't have a snickersnee. Nor do I have a cutlass, a falchion, a katana, a sai, a scimitar, a shamshir, a xiphos, a dao, a seax, a kriegsmesser, a flyssa, a kopis, a bokin, a barong, a yataghan, a pulwar, a kindjal or a kriss.

I have a cavalry saber and a smallsword, three epees, and a fencing saber.

(I also have a main gauche, a rifleman's knife, a couple patch knives, a couple guthook knives, a "survival" knife, a knife made from a 3/4 ton truck spring, a boot knife, a Buck General, and several pocket knives. I do NOT run with knives, swords, bayonets, scissors, hedge clippers or any pointy thing because you could stumble and put your eye out.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 03:13 PM

MOM says to tell you you're a good boy, Rapaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 03:33 PM

Oh, Rapaire, you and your bloviating temper and your manly inventory.

How many times do I have to be impressed by your death-dealing possessions before you feel properly heard and admired for them?

I am sure they are all wonderful, and pow'ful scary and wicked sharp and that you are highly skilled in dispatching people with them.

OK?? OK????

Thanks.

And all I said was SOMEONE. Those words are much older than you are, hard though that may be to imagine.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 05:19 PM

I don't have swords, I have a few knives, and some good cooking knives, but what is really good, I now have an Invisible Fence! The dogs already know something is up, and won't go near the fence or the little flags as they wear their new snug collars that make a noise when they get close to the wire! Huzzah! Maybe this keeping-dogs-in-my-backyard business is going to work after all! My two girls loved having a visitor here most of the morning as he set the system up. Of course, while we're doing the training I have to put the dogs in the truck, take off their collars, drive across the wire and park in the neighbor's yard across the street (I asked and it's okay). We'll go for our walk, then we'll get back in the truck, back across the street and up into the garage, where I'll put the sensor collars back on and let them back into the yard.

So keep yer sticks and stones and swords. I have dogs to protect me, and a system to protect them (if they stay in the yard they're safer than if they can get out.)

As an aside, I talked to a neighbor today who was out walking. She said she was terrified of pitbulls and the dog trainer was talking to her about the bad rap that pitbulls get. I invited her to come into the yard to meet my two pooches. When she saw Cinnamon (the pit) she said she remembered seeing this dog as a stray in the field across the road and shooing her off. I kind of figured that was what had been happening to her, and that's why she was so quick to stick around here when I called her and petted her. The neighbor remembered seeing her lying in the field and wondering if she was dead and seeing her move her head but was afraid to go look closer (sob! that was this lovely dog in that field! She'd been hit by a car and was banged up and had broken teeth and someone bit her when she was down. . . poor baby!) .

Sniff.

Okay. I'm better now. And to the point, she's much better now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 05:40 PM

...and three 175mm howitzers and two battleships and a nuclear submarine and an M1A1 Abrams tank and a flamethrower and a bow and arrow set and a tomahawk and a really fast race car and a real horse.

So there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 06:01 PM

I have the Sun in the morning and the moon at night, so don't mess around, ya hear?


A


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