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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 11 Jan 06 - 10:25 PM
Amos 11 Jan 06 - 10:53 PM
MMario 12 Jan 06 - 08:48 AM
Rapparee 12 Jan 06 - 08:50 AM
Amos 12 Jan 06 - 09:23 AM
Rapparee 12 Jan 06 - 09:38 AM
Bunnahabhain 12 Jan 06 - 10:07 AM
Amos 12 Jan 06 - 10:48 AM
MMario 12 Jan 06 - 11:18 AM
Rapparee 12 Jan 06 - 11:54 AM
Amos 12 Jan 06 - 07:15 PM
Rapparee 12 Jan 06 - 11:14 PM
Amos 12 Jan 06 - 11:38 PM
Rapparee 13 Jan 06 - 08:59 AM
Bunnahabhain 13 Jan 06 - 09:11 AM
Amos 13 Jan 06 - 09:48 AM
Acme 13 Jan 06 - 10:46 AM
Rapparee 13 Jan 06 - 01:49 PM
Amos 13 Jan 06 - 04:41 PM
Rapparee 13 Jan 06 - 06:24 PM
Amos 13 Jan 06 - 07:27 PM
Acme 13 Jan 06 - 07:41 PM
Amos 14 Jan 06 - 01:10 AM
Rapparee 14 Jan 06 - 09:43 AM
Acme 14 Jan 06 - 09:21 PM
Rapparee 15 Jan 06 - 09:42 AM
Acme 15 Jan 06 - 09:45 AM
MMario 15 Jan 06 - 10:02 AM
Rapparee 15 Jan 06 - 10:02 AM
Acme 15 Jan 06 - 10:36 AM
Amos 15 Jan 06 - 11:49 AM
Rapparee 15 Jan 06 - 12:46 PM
Amos 15 Jan 06 - 12:51 PM
Rapparee 15 Jan 06 - 02:18 PM
Amos 15 Jan 06 - 03:48 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Jan 06 - 07:37 PM
Amos 15 Jan 06 - 07:47 PM
Bunnahabhain 15 Jan 06 - 08:11 PM
Acme 15 Jan 06 - 08:30 PM
Amos 15 Jan 06 - 10:25 PM
Amos 16 Jan 06 - 09:38 AM
Acme 16 Jan 06 - 10:12 AM
Amos 16 Jan 06 - 12:27 PM
Acme 16 Jan 06 - 12:52 PM
Rapparee 16 Jan 06 - 01:28 PM
Amos 16 Jan 06 - 04:07 PM
Rapparee 16 Jan 06 - 08:54 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Jan 06 - 09:46 PM
Rapparee 16 Jan 06 - 10:37 PM
Amos 16 Jan 06 - 11:42 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 10:25 PM

No sympathy for my dog? Just more guns? Geez, guys!

And now for something Completely Different.

A Song.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 10:53 PM

Wow! Those are great pix of those boooooful dawgs all right. And you have been busier than a hen in a hailstorm on that house! Looks great!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 08:48 AM

I hate content filters. I can't never see the photos people link to - and my connection at home is so dad-burned slow downloading pictures that I usually get kicked off before they download. oh well, maybe my B-i-l will go out of town again and then I can use the 'puter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 08:50 AM

Wanna come up to Pocatello this weekend? I can pick you up at the airport tomorrow. You can meet the girls and we're buying the beer & pizza & paint and stuff. Yessir, just me and Pat and five girls from the U. and a nun. All weekend. They'll be doing...things...in the basement apartment. I won't tell you what exactly is it they'll be doing, but it promises to be pretty darned kinkly. I'll give you a hint, though: it involves soft, cuddly rollers and "brushes."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 09:23 AM

What's the nun for? Just out of habit?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 09:38 AM

To teach the girls new tricks. She's from the Sisters of the Divine Time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 10:07 AM

Just because you managed to keep the blood out of the gutters, it doesn't mean it's a suitable place for your mind...

Anyway, I'm in enough trouble with just two sisters. More than that does not bear thinking about. Trust me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 10:48 AM

I really like MMario's notion of thinking of it as a tune...OdsZong! (God's Song). The plaentary methane cycle is only one couple in a far grander scheme of interweaving counterpoints, couplets, triplets, quatrains, dactyls, anapests, trimeters, heptameters, and iambs. Could we see the rhyme scheme complete, what wisom woudl be ours...sigh...that's corny, isn't it, but, ya know, I get corny thinking about God... :D

But more important than the lyrical structure, if I may add the thought, is the TUNE!! Oh, the tune!! A delicate blend of motifs and contra-motifs, accelerandos, andantinos, fugal expositions, drifting cadenzas of myriad cadence, crescendos, diminuendos, martoso mae no troppo, elusive ostinatos, polyphonic plagal cadences and never-ending Amens. What an ear it would give you to understand THAT tune!!

As they used to say on one of my preferred television broadcasts, yeeeHAW!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 11:18 AM

Most of my friends and family are pleased, no - make that *thrilled*, that I have actually gotton my mind *UP* as far as the gutter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 11:54 AM

OdsThong? God's Thong??

Could be, could be...I have minor in Theology and yes, it could be....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 07:15 PM

I have a dominant Major FIfth in theology, with an occasional flatted second thrown in.

Anyway, I have always said that science is going into some funny places, and this article from PhysOrg.com proves it:

No joke: Laughter may well be the best medicine
General Science : January 12, 2006
Newsletter   Print   Email   Blog It   Font size: - N +


It's been said laughter is the best medicine, but no one has yet to prove it. Now a Japanese scientist is unlocking the secrets of the funny bone, which he believes can cheer up people's genes.

Geneticist Kazuo Murakami has teamed up on the study with an unlikely research partner: stand-up comedians, who he hopes -- no joke -- can turn their one-liners into efficient, low-cost medical treatment.

Genes are usually regarded as immutable, but in reality more than 90 percent of them are dormant or less active in producing protein, so some types of stimulation can wake them up.

Murakami's tentative theory is that laughter is one such stimulant, which can trigger energy inside a person's DNA potentially helping cure disease.

"If we prove people can switch genes on and off by an emotion like laughter, it may be the finding of the century which should be worth the Nobel Prize or even go beyond that," said Murakami, 70, director of Japan's Foundation for Advancement of International Science.

Three years ago, Murakami and Yoshimoto Kogyo Co. Ltd., a leading entertainment company, jointly carried out their first experiment to let diabetics laugh at a comedy show performed by the firm's top stand-up comedians after listening to a monotonous college lecture.

The two-day experiment showed that their blood glucose levels -- a key gauge for development of diabetes -- became lower after they laughed compared with after listening to the yawning lecture.

His latest experiment with the entertainment firm spotted at least 23 genes that can be activated. Eighteen of them are designed to work for immune response, signal transduction and cell cycle, while functions of the remaining five others are still unknown.

The findings, which Murakami says are the first of their kind, are scheduled to be published in January by Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, a US academic journal.

"A laughing therapy has no side-effect, meaning it is an epoch-making treatment for clinical medicine," he said. "One day it won't be a joke to see patients receive a prescription for a comedy video at a pharmacy for medical treatment."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 11:14 PM

Mom, I've returned from the biergarten. Ja, I can still hold mein beir. Ja, der beir is gut. Very gut indeed. And we actually got some things accomplished.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 11:38 PM

Mom!! Rapaire went out drinking , and came back with a big ole bier gut!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 08:59 AM

Mom! Amos is jealous because he can't hold his beer anymore!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 09:11 AM

Sensible people use a tankard to hold beer.....


Right, I'm off to brave the journey to the lawless North- well, I'm getting a train to Aberdeen, which is an adventure in itself, and I ceratinly hope she'll be naughty whern I get there....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 09:48 AM

Do let us know how that goes, Bun. I love naughty tales.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 10:46 AM

I have some painting I need to do. But there is so much other work that comes first, who knows when the walls will get that attention. And I need to redo several things I painted when we first moved in and we were hurrying to make the place look liveable but not always making the best paint choices.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 01:49 PM

We shall be painting this weekend too. Pat and I and five girls and nun. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 04:41 PM

There is nun so immodest as she who will not behave....

or something like that... . Don't they charge you for Ogling? You could claim it was the free exercise of religious ritual, if you like. I can get Fra. Tacitus Eternalis to, um, offer support.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 06:24 PM

No, I think that they'll be ampily supported. But I'll keep the offer in mind, especially as the long weekend goes on and on and on. Of course, you could always drive up and help you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 07:27 PM

I'm sorry....I have a mathematician, a physical oceanographer, a notable choreographer, a marine engineer and a publisher coming to dinner. Otherwise I'd jump right in the car.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 07:41 PM

Yeah right. He has a stack of old VCR movies about Einstein, Jacques Cousteau, Gower Champion, Nevil Shute, and Citizen Kane sitting on his dining room table that he's going to watch over the weekend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jan 06 - 01:10 AM

No, now, you are unfair. I really do have an oceanographer coming to dinner tomorrow, and his wife who is a notable choreographer. An Austrian mathematician will be joining them, as will my old Canuck buddy the marine engineer and his wife who publishes magazines. I am sorry. But it is true.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jan 06 - 09:43 AM

Gad, but I'm glad that my nephew got out of the Marines before they started engineering them. Is it done genetically or do they just bolt stuff on? Or can you even talk about it without the MIBs finding it necessary to kill you again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jan 06 - 09:21 PM

You would have had an entertaining evening with the crew I picked out for you. I hope the living/breathing folks were as much fun as the famous ones would have been. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 09:42 AM

This evening I shall dine with an attorney, an historian, a librarian, a survivor of teen-age cancer, and a mathematician. My wife and I shall go out to dinner....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 09:45 AM

In the Mudcat weekend calisthentics (Up and Down and Up again) it looks like the place was closed last night, but not so long that Mom got really down about it.

Me, I was doing a little late night grout work so didn't notice.

It's like one of those little party favor puzzles, the ones that had 36 spaces and 35 little tiles (today's children are not being as challenged by dumbed-down puzzles). You had to move everything in and out of that one space to finally achieve order. Well the grout was step one of many. I have tile in the hall outside the bedrooms but haven't grouted it because I haven't finished the cut tiles along the edges. There was a little table and a mirror at the "T" in the hall, but I am going to move an antique lawyer's bookcase there. I put down the grout so that part of the floor would be finished and I won't have to move this bookcase again when I work on the floor. It won't get sealed, but at least the grout is in. Once the bookcase is moved then I can move another, larger lawyer's bookcase from in my office to where the small lawyer's case was in my bedroom. And once that is out of my office I can move file cabinets out of the office closet and put them along the office wall (and make sure to hang a few of my treasures on the wall above them. Right now they're propped against the wall on the bookcase top). After I clear out the closet I'm going to unload the boxes on a set of wire shelves just inside the back door and move that set of shelves into the closet, and move most of the boxes back onto those shelves in there. And I'm going to move my camping gear and packs and luggage to that closet, and also unroll camping sleep pads and hang them up and unstuff down sleeping bags and hang them up. . .

The puzzle on a life-sized scale. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 10:02 AM

if you unstuff the down sleeping bags they won't be very warm, and the down really gets into just about everything!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 10:02 AM

The priming of the walls (sounds like a novel!) went well. In some cases the grooves in the paneling disappeared completely, demonstrating the quality of the material. Today the color will be applied -- sort of a very light tan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 10:36 AM

Good thing I'm not considering unstuffing my bags (as you portrayed it) near his tacky paint job! My bags will retain their baffles and contents, but they will be removed from their stuff sacks, hence being "un-stuffed."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 11:49 AM

The last few layers of sturdy rock along the lower bout of the reservoir are uin place and very little more remain to do before she gets turned on--I mean the waterfall. The bathroom engineering plans have been approved and the parts ordered.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 12:46 PM

A waterfall? In the bathroom?

Remind that if I visit not to flush!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 12:51 PM

No, silly. Two separate projects. The waterfall is almost done. The bathroom is almost started.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 02:18 PM

You haven't had a bathroom before? I thought San Diego had had running water for a long time -- or are you a REAL Luddite?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 03:48 PM

Renovation, stoopid-head!! San Diego, rightly called "America's Finest City" by those in the know, has all mod cons.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 07:37 PM

Ponder this:

Most of us have things on the ends of our hands that are usually called "fingers". So exactly how does one fing? If cookers are meant for cooking and openers are meant for opening then fingers must be meant for finging. Have you ever finged? (Or is it fang?) If so, please advise how it's done. I get the distinct impression I've been missing out on something for many years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 07:47 PM

Swingers, singers, bell-ringers, dong-dingers will never forgive you for this, BWL....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 08:11 PM

I get the distinct impression I've been missing out on something for many years.


Well, either you have, or your significant-member-of-the-opposite-sex, has. I'm not quite sure, but there's an expert on most things round here somewhere, and most are an expert on something or other, even occasionaly a useful something, but actually knowing what it is....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 08:30 PM

Moving on from the study of spatulas, BWL?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 10:25 PM

Just so you know, the word finger, although it looks like the other words that form a noun from a verb (like 'dead ringer' ) is not such a word. It comes from an Old Germanic root meaning "five". WOnder why they chose that?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 09:38 AM

IT is logical to move from spatulas to fingers, which are often spatulate in simians, such as the President.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 10:12 AM

Cross your fingers (!) that Chongo doesn't come along and press a lawsuit on you for defaming simians with that remark. They don't want him either. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 12:27 PM

I would be most interested in such an opportunity; as far as I know it would be the world's first trans-species (inter-species?) lawsuit and as such would have historical resonances far beyond the immediate question of slandering simians.

Among other things it would require resolving the question of civil rights on the food-chain, a thorny issue at best; it would resurrect the Scopes trial; it would establsih far-reaching precedents for the future encounter between Terrans and other-world forms of life, developed or otherwise. It would open a Pandora's box of questions about territorial rights for cetaceans, re-define the meaning of international waters and exclusion zones and possibly require stringent codes of courtesy to be exhibited towards tuna by Portuguese-American fishermen, raising questions of indigenous American-Indian copyrights on prayers to the soul of game animals. You're really opening a can of...unusual things here, Stilly!!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 12:52 PM

Naw, this is an old philosophical question. There was a book out years ago called Do Trees Have Standing? If trees do, then chimps do, don'tcha think?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 01:28 PM

I get the distinct impression I've been missing out on something for many years.

You have been, but we didn't want you to know. Since you've figured it out for yourself that you've been missing something, I'll give you a quick (and incomplete) idea of what you've been missing.

Finging is a scato/socio/porno/econo/ecologoical activity that involved three live ducks, a warthog (the animal, not the airplane), two other people of the same but opposite sex, a cozy woolen blanket, two quarts of raspberries, a bottle of good booze (your choice), a couple of mushrooms, two dead chickens, and both of your hands. Some people also include an armadillo and either a cat or an alligator (a crocodile will do in a pinch) as well. Perverts will add catsup (or ketchup.

If you don't have two hands none or more will work just fine.

Finging is a wonderful, ecstatic experience that many have compared to The Rapture. You feel your body filling with music, indescribably wonderful music, and at the peak of the experience you KNOW. You KNOW everything, all of the whys and wherefores, the hows and whats and whos and who did what and EVERYTHING.

And that's why we haven't told you. Everyone else knows, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 04:07 PM

FING!! FING!!!


I never thought it would pan out this way, but Rapaire and BWL, in their wild and rapturous dancing, have done something truly wonderful -- invented a term for transcendant epiphanies which reveal the interconnectedness of all knowing and all living things, as only those who experience such moments can describe.

Now, though, thanks to these intrepid explorers of the Unknown and the Unsaid and the Unsymbolized, we have a word for such an experience. As Walt Whitman might have said, had he only had this gift, I fing the Universe!.

May you both fing often and richly, and with finging partners who are skilled and compassionate and impassioned, a fair reward for your most excellent gift to mankind in identifying the correct term and the correct definition for big-time transcendental moments of awareness hitherto unamed.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 08:54 PM

Is going to the dentist, only to learn that an oral surgeon, extractionS, two implants, and a new bridge (not to mention the bills) are in your future a finging experience? Or is it simply the Universe giving to you a Finger?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 09:46 PM

I Fing the Body Electric

I'm Finging in the Rain

Little Fings That You Do (Make Me Glad I'm in Love With You)

The list just goes on and on...



By the way, does anyone know how to hamm? I got a new hammer for Christmas and all it will do is drive nails. It's called a "hammer", not a "nailer" or a "driver". There must be some way to make it hamm, I just can't figured it out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 10:37 PM

The technical name of that tool you have is a "pounder." It is called this because you pound with it: nails, pegs, chisels, screwdivers, thumbs, screws, whatever you want to pound.

To "hamm" is something very much else. I'd tell you what it is to hamm, but you're not old enough. Perhaps when you're older some nice woman will teach you. Otherwise you can talk to your parish priest, especially if you find your mind dwelling on it. He can forgive you and will recommend icy-cold showers and lots of basketball.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 11:42 PM

"Hammer" derives from an old Norse word meaning a stone implement. It is NOT related to the verb to ham, which means to act extravagantly, sentimentally, or in exaggerated fashion; usually hamming is reserved for those who fail in using a hammer correctly.

A


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