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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 06 Feb 12 - 11:44 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 12 - 10:20 PM
Little Hawk 06 Feb 12 - 10:02 PM
gnu 06 Feb 12 - 10:00 PM
Amos 06 Feb 12 - 08:39 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 12 - 07:32 PM
Eiseley 06 Feb 12 - 07:22 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 12 - 06:55 PM
Amos 06 Feb 12 - 04:16 PM
gnu 06 Feb 12 - 04:03 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 12 - 02:50 PM
gnu 06 Feb 12 - 02:37 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 12 - 02:30 PM
Little Hawk 06 Feb 12 - 11:16 AM
Acme 06 Feb 12 - 10:00 AM
Rapparee 06 Feb 12 - 09:56 AM
Acme 06 Feb 12 - 12:08 AM
gnu 05 Feb 12 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 12 - 09:39 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 12 - 09:38 PM
gnu 05 Feb 12 - 04:52 PM
Amos 05 Feb 12 - 04:41 PM
Amos 05 Feb 12 - 04:33 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 04 Feb 12 - 10:56 PM
Rapparee 04 Feb 12 - 10:40 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 04 Feb 12 - 10:37 PM
gnu 04 Feb 12 - 10:30 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 04 Feb 12 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 04 Feb 12 - 10:23 PM
Rapparee 04 Feb 12 - 01:29 PM
gnu 04 Feb 12 - 01:05 PM
Little Hawk 04 Feb 12 - 12:19 PM
Acme 04 Feb 12 - 11:06 AM
Rapparee 04 Feb 12 - 11:05 AM
Little Hawk 04 Feb 12 - 11:00 AM
Rapparee 04 Feb 12 - 10:24 AM
Amos 04 Feb 12 - 07:16 AM
Little Hawk 04 Feb 12 - 12:27 AM
Amos 03 Feb 12 - 11:56 PM
Rapparee 03 Feb 12 - 11:20 PM
Acme 03 Feb 12 - 11:00 PM
Little Hawk 03 Feb 12 - 09:58 PM
Amos 03 Feb 12 - 08:04 PM
Little Hawk 03 Feb 12 - 06:57 PM
Rapparee 03 Feb 12 - 06:06 PM
Little Hawk 03 Feb 12 - 05:43 PM
Acme 03 Feb 12 - 05:19 PM
Rapparee 03 Feb 12 - 03:41 PM
Acme 03 Feb 12 - 01:53 PM
Little Hawk 03 Feb 12 - 01:26 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 11:44 PM

You're definitely on the right track, there, Rapparee!! I am proud of your progress. Soon you will be omitting whole sentences!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 10:20 PM

I'm getting along       with it, A   .    's a li tle hard to ge sed to qui tin , but I th k I'm gettin h ha g of t. Star small and have simp   g als at fi t, you know, a d t ill e e sie s y u ge bet r at t.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 10:02 PM

LOL!!!!! That's a wonderful letter. A Dachshund classic!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 10:00 PM

Thanks for that Eiseley!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 08:39 PM

Folks in Maine do a lot of harboring, Rapp. They harbor from Portland and Bath to Boothbay and Seal and all points north, which is down East.

Anyway, do let me know how your practicing up in the art of quitting is coming along. I am excited for your future adventures once you start applying your new skills.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 07:32 PM

Harboring? In Maine? Perhaps at Bar Harbor? Which makes me wonder if a Bar Harbor is anything like a Bar Mitzvah or Passing The Bar. My wife passed Bars in Indiana and Ohio, much to the surprise of her friends who thought that she'd never pass a bar. Passing the Bar is not at all like Crossing the Bar, usually, although some law students think that they'll Cross the Bar before they Pass it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 07:22 PM

Hello folks,
I found this wonderful letter written by E.B. White. Here is a transcription:

In 1951, E. B. White ? the novelist responsible for, most notably, Charlotte's Web and Stuart Little ? was accused by the ASPCA of not paying his dog tax and, as a result, "harboring" an unlicensed dog. He responded by way of the following delightful letter.

E. B. White with his dachshund, Minnie.

    12 April 1951

    The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
    York Avenue and East 92nd Street
    New York, 28, NY

    Dear Sirs:

    I have your letter, undated, saying that I am harboring an unlicensed dog in violation of the law. If by "harboring" you mean getting up two or three times every night to pull Minnie's blanket up over her, I am harboring a dog all right. The blanket keeps slipping off. I suppose you are wondering by now why I don't get her a sweater instead. That's a joke on you. She has a knitted sweater, but she doesn't like to wear it for sleeping; her legs are so short they work out of a sweater and her toenails get caught in the mesh, and this disturbs her rest. If Minnie doesn't get her rest, she feels it right away. I do myself, and of course with this night duty of mine, the way the blanket slips and all, I haven't had any real rest in years. Minnie is twelve.

    In spite of what your inspector reported, she has a license. She is licensed in the State of Maine as an unspayed bitch, or what is more commonly called an "unspaded" bitch. She wears her metal license tag but I must say I don't particularly care for it, as it is in the shape of a hydrant, which seems to me a feeble gag, besides being pointless in the case of a female. It is hard to believe that any state in the Union would circulate a gag like that and make people pay money for it, but Maine is always thinking of something. Maine puts up roadside crosses along the highways to mark the spots where people have lost their lives in motor accidents, so the highways are beginning to take on the appearance of a cemetery, and motoring in Maine has become a solemn experience, when one thinks mostly about death. I was driving along a road near Kittery the other day thinking about death and all of a sudden I heard the spring peepers. That changed me right away and I suddenly thought about life. It was the nicest feeling.

    You asked about Minnie's name, sex, breed, and phone number. She doesn't answer the phone. She is a dachshund and can't reach it, but she wouldn't answer it even if she could, as she has no interest in outside calls. I did have a dachshund once, a male, who was interested in the telephone, and who got a great many calls, but Fred was an exceptional dog (his name was Fred) and I can't think of anything offhand that he wasn't interested in. The telephone was only one of a thousand things. He loved life ? that is, he loved life if by "life" you mean "trouble," and of course the phone is almost synonymous with trouble. Minnie loves life, too, but her idea of life is a warm bed, preferably with an electric pad, and a friend in bed with her, and plenty of shut-eye, night and days. She's almost twelve. I guess I've already mentioned that. I got her from Dr. Clarence Little in 1939. He was using dachshunds in his cancer-research experiments (that was before Winchell was running the thing) and he had a couple of extra puppies, so I wheedled Minnie out of him. She later had puppies by her own father, at Dr. Little's request. What do you think about that for a scandal? I know what Fred thought about it. He was some put out.

    Sincerely yours,

    E. B. White


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 06:55 PM

Brand new, gnu. I think it was torqued in, possibly with something like Loc-Tite, to prevent folks like me from messing with it. Or it might have been put in by one of them Brazilian Gorillas you here about. Rossi is part of Braztech, after all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 04:16 PM

KNowing when to quit is an art indeed, and it warms my heart to see Rapparee practicing up on it. I know there are great things ahead for him when he perfects his technique...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 04:03 PM

How do you know it's rusted in? I mean, you can't see the threads, can you?Odd that a machine screw would get any rust in it if it was torqured properly in the first place. Even if it did, it would only go one thread deep, right? Just seems odd to me. But, then again, I am odd to many.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 02:50 PM

Well, I couldn't get it loose. And it's not bunged up too badly -- I know when to quit. If it don't come quietly after oil, WD40, Liquid Wrench, lighter fluid, and other such lubricants/dissolvers I ain't gonna try anything more -- time to get pro help.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 02:37 PM

Oh yeah... gunsmith... definitely. BTW, how did the screwhead get mangled in the first place? >;-)

Don't shoot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 02:30 PM

Which is why I live in Idaho. To me, a Newfie is a big, big dog.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 11:16 AM

Hey! A Newfie wouldn't quit now...he'd persevere until that gun was lying in pieces on the floor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 10:00 AM

You mean like before you've destroyed the gun and the screw is still spotlessly hanging on?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 09:56 AM

Nah, I'll let a gunsmith/machinist work on it. Sometimes it's best to know when to quit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Feb 12 - 12:08 AM

What kind of metal is the screw? Brass or iron or something else?

Try vinegar. If there's any rust that will take care of it. A drop or two and let it sit a little while.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Feb 12 - 10:27 PM

Slot... standard... piece a shit. But, it's a machine thread if it's on a gun innit? Wait, never mind my next thought... gunsmith... yup.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 12 - 09:39 PM

Oh, yes. I did make a mistake, Amos. I meant to say "first rowel."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 12 - 09:38 PM

Slot head. I've decided not to worry about it right now. I can always take the rifle apart and get at it from the other end, but I think instead I'll see what a gunsmith friend of mine can do (ah, he makes his own falling-block rifles from scratch so he should know).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Feb 12 - 04:52 PM

You coulda bought my tap and die set in my garage sale... never used... $50.

BTW... what's the screw? Phillips? That would be my guess. I think there should be a law... ALL screws shall be hereforeto Robertson. Period. Game over. Far superior both in installation and removal. The cost of manufacture is not that much more than the others. I have often replaced screws that come with a new item with Robertsons upon installation of the new item on accounta I know that some day I may have to deal with piece a shit screws. I have every size from 1/8" to 4" in my garage, wood and machine. Steel. Made in America.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 12 - 04:41 PM

Gawdn what a cycle. We hauled out of bed at 0330 hours Saturday, left the house by 0430 and arrived at Mudlark's spread by 1100 or os. There was a wonderful turn out -- maybe sixty people or so and all of them thought she was the best friend they ever had. Much sentiment was exchanged. Then we began jamming and trading great songs, and feeding and drinking dark beer and swapping stories of Nancy. Then the remarkably talented Mudcatters Bev and Jerry escorted us home to their house in the back hills of Cambria, away by the sea, and we spun yarns and ate dinner and crashed on their futons around 11. Then we rolled out at 0600 and went back to Atascadero to pick up Nancy's external HD so BBW could work on it for the estate, and drove all the way down from there through San Luis Obispo, Santa Barbara, Venture, Los Angeles and back home to San Diego where we have finished unpacking everything.

It wass a wonderful memorial gathering, ric on tears and music and expressions of loss and love. Nancy had an amazing spectrum of beloved friends.


Someone needs to teach Rapparree rudiments of spelling and pronunciation. He can't tell his bowels from a hole in the alphabet.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 12 - 04:33 PM

Drill press and a good machinist to drill out the center, reverse thread the new hole and put a threaded left-hand rod or bar in it which you can then grip with a vicegrip and get enough leverage to spring the seized threads. Finding a replacement may be tricky although you could have a good machinist make you one.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 10:56 PM

Oh, I see. Hmmm. Nice gun. Okay, you got a problem there. Could you maybe drill it out with a fine and really hard drill bit? You would hafta secure the barrel in some kinda wooden vice to keep it real steady, and steadyin' the drill would be tricky too.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 10:40 PM

Well, Chong, it's the set screw that holds the end of the magazine tight on my .45 Colt lever gun.. I want to get it out so I can pull the spring from the magazine and replace the plastic follower with a metal one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 10:37 PM

I got another idea here. Serve the screw with an eviction notice. If it don't unscrew itself in 24 hours, take legal action, and sue the threads off the damn thing.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 10:30 PM

Drill it... carefully to get part way in and then crush the head to get a grip on it. But, that IS a bit of a gamble with a very small screw.

The squash was excellent after 7 minutes on the boil and Mum was VERY pleased with supper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 10:27 PM

Get a handgun and put a coupla rounds into it. I advise usin' a shield of some kind if you wanna avoid the richochets.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 10:23 PM

Well, the First Bowel in on the road. I hope gnu's dinner went well. I shampooed some of the worst spots of the carpet in my office today.

Anyone have an idea about how to remove a small screw -- I mean small. It's in too far to use vise-grips, and I've doused it with lighter fluid, oil, Liquid Wrench, and high-grade gun oil; I've even soaked a rag in whatever stuff I used at the time and let it sit on the screw overnight. I've used a scratch awl to pick around the screw as well. I've buggered up the slot enough that I don't want to do that anymore unless I know it's going to succeed. And yeah, I've done the hammer tap thing on a screwdriver and "rocking" the screw in both directions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 01:29 PM

Assuming you peeled it, stick it with a toothpick or a knife blade and if it slides off easily it's done.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 01:05 PM

How long does it take to boil 1" cubed butternut squash? I have to know within two hours or I gotta call Mum and then the turkey dinner with all the fixins won't be as good a surprise. Seems to me it's ten minutes but I wouldn't trust my memory.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 12:19 PM

I'm not sure what atascadero means, but I do know what chingadero means.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 11:06 AM

I've been to/through Atascadero. A friend grew up near there, I think he said the name means a low swampy place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 11:05 AM

I've BEEN on various roads that end in Boise. I don't recommend going there unless you can't somehow avoid it.

There's interesting information here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 11:00 AM

"The Road to Boise"? Horrifying! No one would go to see such a film. "The Road to Blind River", on the other hand, does suggest certain comedic possibilities. It is a good road if you want to see about a billion rocks and trees and the occasional moose. Let's hope the moose sees you too and stays off the road! Quite a few of the larger rocks have the names of various lovestruck teenagers painted on them, usually in white paint.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 10:24 AM

Because it sounds like

The Road to Lower Fartlebury-On-Sedgewick
The Road to Seehorn
The Road to Rabbit Hash
The Road to Detroit
The Road to Saginaw
The Road to Blind River
The Road to Perdition
The Road to Atomic City
The Road to Talkeetna

and a lot of other places. Would YOU pay to see a movie called "The Road to Boise"? I think not!

As for logins and passwords, I spit on such puny attempts! I've got the tools to crack logins and passwords and I'm not afraid to use them, except maybe where I might be caught. My and password cracking software and old friends.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 07:16 AM

Adios until later, Mom. On the Road to Atascadero. How come Btng and Bob never thought of that one??



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 12:27 AM

Yeah, like the command "*^^/@#@!!!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 12 - 11:56 PM

chmod indeed, Geekoid!! Good thing Mom kept back the root access password. And locked out superuser commands.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 12 - 11:20 PM

No, you have very few left. I hacked your message bin and transferred most of the blanks me and Amos. I think you got 10 or 12 left and then, WHAM!!

chmod 700*, dude!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Feb 12 - 11:00 PM

Better rethink that penalty. No one else has the time and energy of those two to keep MOM MOAB going at the rate to which she is accustomed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Feb 12 - 09:58 PM

LOL!!! Geez...I love it.

I think we're all three of us pretty good at engaging in pitiful arrogance, aren't we? Man, we are in a dead heat here in the arrogance sweepstakes. It's reallllly close....reallllllllllllly close!

Oh, and you owe Bill Gates 5 more bucks too, Amos.

Me? I'm off scot free. I still have hundreds of posts in reserve on this thread, maybe even thousands. Ahhhhh.....! (savouring the thought)

Just think, you two can rest your fingers for the next 6 months, take up tiddlywinks to pass the time, and I'll take over for you on the MOABST. Go in peace, brother, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 12 - 08:04 PM

I don't know which is more pitifully arrogant--Rapparree's claiming to have created Microsoft, or Little Hawk's claiming to speak for both Microsoft AND Mudcat!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Feb 12 - 06:57 PM

Tsk! That's another five bucks you owe. You're making Bill Gates richer with every word you utter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 12 - 06:06 PM

A public apology? For what? I created Microsoft just as I created you. Indeed, were I a lesser Creator I would have you grovel and eating dirt, begging my forgiveness. But I am merciful as well as just, so you must only eat a good, healthy, hearty breakfast tomorrow because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Feb 12 - 05:43 PM

Okay, this just in: Amos and Rapparee have violated standing ordinances regarding the number of posts allowed by any one person on any single thread during a period of 1-5 years. They both reached and surpassed their limit about 12 hours ago.

This means, Amos and Rap, that you guys have to stop posting here for a cooling off period of 6 months! You also have to pay a $5 per extra post fee to Microsoft and issue a public apology.

Sorry about that. I know it'll be tough doing without your daily fix. I suggest substituting copious amounts of acohol and casual sex during the intervening period, but stay away from using snuff! That way lies madness.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Feb 12 - 05:19 PM

Do it like publishers are doing now - print money on demand. :) Easy Peasy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 12 - 03:41 PM

Libraries don't need no more steenkin' books! Libraries need lots of steenkin' money!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Feb 12 - 01:53 PM

Spreading this around a bit. MOM might like it (and might finally return some of the overdue books that fell behind the sofa - it would give the library a few more books to circulate!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Feb 12 - 01:26 PM

I love your feigned outrage and wounded sense of dignity, Amos. ;-) That should put him in his place!


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