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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Peace 19 Aug 06 - 10:10 PM
Bunnahabhain 20 Aug 06 - 12:07 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 06 - 06:47 PM
Amos 20 Aug 06 - 06:48 PM
Amos 20 Aug 06 - 06:51 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 06 - 09:31 PM
Amos 20 Aug 06 - 10:20 PM
Acme 20 Aug 06 - 11:43 PM
MMario 21 Aug 06 - 08:09 AM
Rapparee 21 Aug 06 - 08:53 AM
Amos 21 Aug 06 - 12:04 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 06 - 12:25 PM
MMario 21 Aug 06 - 12:27 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 06 - 02:04 PM
Amos 21 Aug 06 - 02:30 PM
MMario 21 Aug 06 - 02:33 PM
Acme 21 Aug 06 - 05:06 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 06 - 06:20 PM
Amos 21 Aug 06 - 06:42 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 06 - 07:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Aug 06 - 09:12 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 06 - 09:58 PM
Bunnahabhain 22 Aug 06 - 07:29 AM
Rapparee 22 Aug 06 - 08:54 AM
Amos 22 Aug 06 - 10:07 AM
Rapparee 22 Aug 06 - 10:50 AM
Rapparee 22 Aug 06 - 11:15 AM
Acme 22 Aug 06 - 01:32 PM
Acme 22 Aug 06 - 06:14 PM
Amos 22 Aug 06 - 06:15 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 06 - 07:50 PM
Amos 22 Aug 06 - 10:39 PM
Acme 23 Aug 06 - 12:13 AM
Rapparee 23 Aug 06 - 09:03 AM
Acme 23 Aug 06 - 10:43 AM
Tweed 23 Aug 06 - 01:49 PM
Acme 23 Aug 06 - 03:17 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 06 - 06:35 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 06 - 09:33 PM
Amos 23 Aug 06 - 10:35 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 06 - 10:46 PM
Amos 24 Aug 06 - 12:56 AM
Rapparee 24 Aug 06 - 08:38 AM
Acme 24 Aug 06 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 24 Aug 06 - 10:54 AM
MMario 24 Aug 06 - 10:55 AM
Amos 24 Aug 06 - 02:01 PM
GUEST,freds 24 Aug 06 - 03:15 PM
Amos 24 Aug 06 - 10:39 PM
Amos 25 Aug 06 - 09:04 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 19 Aug 06 - 10:10 PM

Dang. Never had a call like that. It's simply too grim to contemplate. Sorry I looked, Rapaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 20 Aug 06 - 12:07 PM

There's no spelling of Liberay Libarey Librery Library either....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 06 - 06:47 PM

Upsy-daisy, Mom. Atta girl!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 06 - 06:48 PM

Rapaire:

I think you are what we call a "latent" Republican.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 06 - 06:51 PM

And

13700

to you!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 06 - 09:31 PM

Amos, all...

I must confess that once, many many years ago, I was, for one single year, a member of the Illinois Young Republicans College Federation.

Yes, I know. But I was oh so young and foolish. I only went to one meeting, and that was only to get someone from our college elected president of the IYRCF. Even the head of the college's Young Democrats went that year. And they made is sound so wonderful, with everyone getting enough to eat and everyone working together and no one being better than anyone else. I didn't know then that they were...you know, Republicans!!!

I've confessed this sin to my priest and he assigned me a penance of three Our Fathers, three Hail Marys, and a stay in Purgatory "until the Sun no longer gives its light and the stars no longer shine." I also have to be scourged through seven churches and make a pilgrimage, on my knees, to the top of Croghpatrick -- starting from Illinois, too.

My sin has been forgiven by God. I hope that everyone here can be as merciful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 06 - 10:20 PM

Oh, of course, all is forgiven, and consider yourself shriven for goodness' sake. After all, you were young, and in Illinois.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 06 - 11:43 PM

I just moved my young Democrat to college today. What a job! When her brother and I left she and her two roommates were each contemplating moving the furniture, after they got off of their computers testing the network connection. No food service this week, but lots of food offered by organizations recruiting members. I'll pick her up on Tuesday morning so she can come back to town to work a few more days at Dairy Queen.

Her brother and I have already made a raid on her room this evening. He, in search of a Spanish/English dictionary for school. I, in search of her floor. I swept and picked up and then mopped the spots where cats had barfed--ages ago--and the puddles had ossified. One under her bed was hard to reach, hard to scrub off, and looked like something that was barfed then grew mold, but I think in fact it had snagged a big-honker dust kitten.

When she returns home, my daughter will be able to relax in her room and sleep on her own bed (she has been in the guest room for the last 10 days or so). And when she returns home she will pick up after herself. That IS the plan. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 08:09 AM

a mother's optimism never fails!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 08:53 AM

Oh, if only I had known the warm and loving touch of a mother who picked up after me! Our nanny, Gunny Rock, had been a drill instructor in the Marine Corps during WW2 and would scream the most amazing things when we would do something he didn't like. Things like sneezing and talking and failing to get out of bed at 4 a.m. and not knowing how to field-strip the M-1 rifle. We thought that this was a lot for boys 5, 4, and 2 to know and do (or not do), but the push-ups made us strong and finally we beat the crap out of Gunny Rock and he changed. He changed for the meaner and we had to try to beat him up every night after lights out -- individually, not all at once. Because of this I couldn't walk with my legs parallel until I was in the 7th grade.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 12:04 PM

And once you got into seventh grade you tried to teach all the girls not to. I know your kind, Rapaire -- a rapscallion romancer, a ne'erdowell Casanova, a fly-by-night Don Juan, brandishing your rapier and wowing the chickens with your dazzly razzling. No wonder they shipped you overseas!

I just want you to know it won't work on me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 12:25 PM

I don't own a rapier. A smallsword, yes, and a cavalry saber, and three epees and a saber for sport. But no rapier.

Of course, I have been known to brandish my, ah, well....

Sorry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 12:27 PM

brandishing your smallsword?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 02:04 PM

My smallsword has a 37 inch blade. No, I was trying to find a polite euphemism for my, well, my bodily part.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 02:30 PM

Dirk will do. Perhaps paring knife?

The kind that is usually slightly dull and a bit short?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 02:33 PM

skean dubh - but that may be granting it a little too much dignity...

skean dubius?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 05:06 PM

Just so he keeps his paring knife away from the girls' dorm!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 06:20 PM

Back a few years ago (about forty, actually), Centennial Hall, a women's dorm, had a visitor they called "Centennial Sam." The dorm was built in a U-shape, and ol' Sam would stand in the middle of the U and expose what passed for his masculinity. This was not appreciated by the women in the dorm.

So one night Sam did his thing and the young ladies did theirs. They turned the fire hoses on Sam. His was hit with a drenching of cold water from front and two sides (two hoses per side per floor for a total of twelve streams of water from the sides). It was January. The temperature was -12F.

Sam did not return. His love was not enough to keep him warm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 06:42 PM

Yeah, life was a lot harder in the old days, before the Internet.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 07:39 PM

I wouldn't know, Amos. Here in Idaho we're kinda in the technological backwaters. Why, every day when we want to connect to the Internet we have to crank up Maisy and tell her to plug in the modem so we can connect. Helps a lot if we bring her some cookies now and then. Soft ones, 'cause Maisie ain't got a whole lot of teeth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 09:12 PM

Hi Mom!

No, I haven't been in prison. I've been in Alabama, Tennessee, Kentucky, Indiana, Illinois and Missouri. I saw a lot of prisons. They like to build them within plain view of major highways (like the one in Ina, IL). Maybe they think having highly visible prisons promotes good citizenship. Or maybe the land abutting interstate highways is dirt cheap since nobody really wants to live there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 06 - 09:58 PM

No, in Illinois it gives the prisoners something to do, making those "Prison Ahead -- Do Not Pick Up Hitchhikers" sigsn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 07:29 AM

How do they know Prision is ahead for you? You might not have done anything wrong. I know that's an unlikley prospect round here, but it is theoretically possible...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 08:54 AM

I'm on the lam, see? I offed Big Piggie George of 'Frisco's Fuscia Gang and both the coppers and Big Piggie's friends want me. Seems like Big Piggie was payin' off the Chief Copper to lay off Big Piggie's Bathhouse when I offed Big Piggie. BP was runnin' a numbers racket outa the Bathhouse and the Chief was usin' the squeezeola to pay off his yacht. Anyway, one day Big Piggie comes onto me and I offed him. One right between the eyes, ya know? And now the cops and BP's friends want me bad, real bad. So I'm hidin' out here in Idaho, layin' low, sayin' nothin', and keepin' my gat closer than I keep a blonde. If Big Piggie's friends catch me it's curtains and if the cops catch me is San Quentin, maybe the gas chamber. And I can't go to prison. I'm too good lookin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 10:07 AM

Dats wot youse gets fer bein' on the lam, see? Messin' wit minors is inaPROpriate.

Shoulda stuck to ewes, youse.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 10:50 AM

Want to see a neat, unretouched, unenhanced, picture?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 11:15 AM

Grigory Perelman of St. Petersburg, Russia. The Field Prize. Check it out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 01:32 PM

I heard about his process of writing out his answer in a 400+ page book on the news this morning.

This caught my eye this morning. Interesting. These obits stick around as links for about 4 weeks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 06:14 PM

Well, Mom, I gotta drive north to take supplies to Moonglow. Most of which she can get at Target there in town, but the few things in her closet she wants tip the scale. But I'm going to take her over to the bus map this evening and point at the way to get to Target. Then we'll go out somewhere and eat, probably.

My plans messed up my son's plans to test a rocket made of CocaCola and Mentos--he was going to hang out with friends at his dad's house but I brought him back here. I've heard about those rockets. This isn't going to disrupt Gluon's universe, is it? They'll set them up tomorrow after school down at the elementary school.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 06:15 PM

Nah -- they just make giant spouts of cola into the air for a few minutes and then fizzle out. Tell him not to stand under it unless he wants ants in his clothes....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 07:50 PM

In Boy Scout Camp we used to sneak M&Ms or broken Wintergreen Life Savers into bottles of Coke and quick give them to someone. Foam all over.

But for rockets we either used rockets made from matches and alumninum foil or made our own solid fuel. Take KNO3 and C6H22O11 and melt it (carefully!) together...well, the least said the better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 06 - 10:39 PM

As regards KNO3, Wikipedia kindl;y advises that In England, the privilege of manufacturing explosives had been in the hands of the family of John Evelyn, the celebrated diarist, as a crown monopoly since before 1588.

KNO3 is potassium nitrate, made from bat dunk, bird guano, old sewage, or what have you until the process was industrialized by Haber.

I think Rapaire meant C12H22O11 -- table sugar. Or maybe citric acid: C6H8O7. The later melts at 153 °C, the former at 186°C. He might have meant ordinary cellulose (C6H10O5) or perhaps even dronabinol ( C21H30O2).

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Aug 06 - 12:13 AM

I figured one was sugar, but hadn't puzzled out the potassium one (I didn't bother to go look them up, but in any case, I don't trade in bat guano. It's too hard on you if you breathe in any of it).

I'm back from my trip. She is so cute in her room! The nesting instinct is strong. When we first went up on Sunday, my son and I made her bed (a high-wire act if there ever was one- these are like bunk beds with no lower bunk). Next to her pillow I left a couple of her favorite little stuffed toys and a little single cell AA battery flashlight to get around in the dark (it's a doozy of a first step out of bed!) Since then she has enjoyed her new sheets, her comfy pillows, and her stuffed toys are still in with the sheets. Her computer desk is set up beneath her bed, and she has organized her dresser and desk to be very efficient. I left a bag that had been my father's with her on the first trip. It was his "picnic bag," with two sets of some nice plastic plates and mugs, some flatware, and the usual things you might need on a picnic, a can opener, a cork screw, napkins, etc. The plates and cups have already been put to good use since there is no food service until Monday (she asked for a dish rag and dish towel for washing them) but she didn't know how to use the can opener. This evening I showed her the trick to it (it was one of those tiny ones you perch on the edge of the can then pinch together). I brought the cork screw home because they aren't allowed to have drug or alcohol "paraphernalia" in this zero-tolerance world. We figured a cork screw was in that category (though one dorm resident in another room already borrowed it from her. . .)

Geez. I'd better be careful, or I'll be like Kathy Lee Gifford, reporting the exploits of my children for national entertainment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 06 - 09:03 AM

SRS, my neice carves wood. She was an art major. Knives were forbidden in the dorm. She had a problem.

So she got permission to keep carving tools in her room. This included the sheath knife she uses for camping and several pocket knives as well as her carving stuff. I even shipped her a rifle stock (for a flintlock) to carve -- I did check with the head of her department before I did that! I understand that several visitors to her room were, shall we say surprised?, to walk in and find her carving a gunstock.

What do the kids who take oenology use to open their study materials if corkscrews are forbidden?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Aug 06 - 10:43 AM

Dylan (age 14) and I were at the grocery store the other day when a woman put wayyyy too much trust in their plastic grocery bags and tried to carry a 2 liter bottle of pop AND a 750ml bottle of wine out in one single layer bag. BASH!!! we hear behind us, and she is standing in a purple puddle surrounded by shards of glass. I was concerned that she not slip in her flip flops and land on the broken glass, but she was sure she could stand there. I fell in a pair of them once, so I know how fast it happens, and I was near a simple wet spot, not near a jagged patch of glass. Anyway, Dylan's first remark was "that smells good," and I had to resist the temptation to pick up a piece of her shattered bottle to read the label, because I had the same thought. We haven't cooked anything with wine for a while (one could make the case that I haven't done much cooking at all in months, it has been so hot.) That particular type would have been a great aromatic addition to beef stew or some thick tomato sauce for spaghetti or lasagne. And a glass on the side. This is the kind of reaction I want from the kids, an appreciation of wine so they have a little defence against the wholesale abuse of it once they get to college. :)

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 23 Aug 06 - 01:49 PM

SRS...intrigued by the gentle aroma of wine and her first thought is
"Gee, We haven't cooked anything with wine in a while!"

Wine in stews and so forth is fine but it should also be enjoyed in it's raw form, room temperature, in stemmed glasses or right out of the bottle. I have a kitchen drawer full of corks. Most of the wine I get never makes it to the skillet or pot though. My intentions are good but I fear I am easily sidetracked.

BTW, is Bee-Dubya out of prison yet? I saw where he was touring several institutions recently.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Aug 06 - 03:17 PM

Tweed, I understand your sentiment perfectly. I, too, enjoy the wine as you describe. But I have gained a few pounds in the last couple of years and have had to cut back on the glass of wine in the evening. When I do get a bottle, I put it to a number of uses in order to "spread the wealth," to have the enjoyment but let the calories work harder before they are ingested. If you've never tried red wine in beef stew you should--it gives it a marvelous extra flavor. And a good dollop of it in homemade tomato sauce--it becomes gourmet dining when it comes out of the freezer later in the year for use over pasta or in a lasagna or over veggies (I love it over sauteed yellow bent neck squash with a little Italian sausage and mozzarella and parmesan cheese mixed in).

In the news this week comes the news that 50-year-olds, even just a little bit over-weight, run far more health risks that was realized before. So wine as a regular thing stays out of the diet until the weight comes off. Which it is doing, slowly, now that I figured the reason it crept on in the first place (the bottle of HRT was out of kilter).

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 06 - 06:35 PM

My mother used to say that opening a can of Dinty Moore was just stew, but if you put in some wine it became fancy ragout.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 06 - 09:33 PM

I'm not at the Legion meeting. That's because Not-Quite-Bright Dwight (or NQBD as he's also called) found a shell left over from WW1 in his barn. NQBD wasn't in WW1, he wasn't even in the military, but his great-grandpa was in the AEF. The shell is for a "75" and there's one of these outside the Legion Hovel. NQBD plans to load 'er up and fire away as a salute to the flag. I noticed that the shell was marked with one white band and the following lettering: "_P_CIAL GA_". Now all I can say is that I think that the shell was originally marked "SPECIAL GAS" and the gas was of a non-persistent type, probably tear gas. And I want nothing to do with this.

I'll let you know what happens.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 06 - 10:35 PM

And opening a balloon just lets out warm air, but if you filter it through a librarian it becomes Fancy Rapaire?

I do apologize, it was irresistible.

So is the Legion in tears tonight?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 06 - 10:46 PM

No, not at all. Turned out it was diphenylaminechlorarsine, or Adamsite, or DM.

Also called vomiting gas.

And he dropped it before he could load it.

The Hazmat team was called and cleaned everything up. NQBD was last seem running over the top of Kinport Peak, a horde of extremely distraught Legionaires on his trail who were stopping only to throw up as necessary.

Apparently the meeting was quite interesting tonight. I'm glad I didn't go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Aug 06 - 12:56 AM

He should have consulted with his lost twin brother, Bright Dwight. But he probably isn't sure how to reach him, since BD moved to the DC area and took up with the Diebold crowd....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 06 - 08:38 AM

He doesn't have any relatives. Never had any. Seems like when his parents first saw him they fled in disgust and lived out their lives in a cloistered, very strict, monastery (for him) and a similar nunnery (for her). Before they took vows of perpetual silence they said, "The horror! The horror!"

NQBD was left on the doorstep of local dog pound with a note that said, "Please euthanize our little Dwight. Making him wasn't any fun either."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Aug 06 - 09:35 AM

I heard that the parents did a little dance before they went their separate ways. A bystander was heard to mutter "The Hora, the Hora."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 06 - 10:54 AM

They had a nagila, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Aug 06 - 10:55 AM

one should always have more then one nagila - they are very small.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Aug 06 - 02:01 PM

It takes hundreds of them to make one Nagahyde couch anymore. They grew bigger before the human race had such an impact on the nevironment.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 24 Aug 06 - 03:15 PM

Please, what is a "nagila"? What is a "hora"? We seek to understand our sources of protein.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Aug 06 - 10:39 PM

It is a small creature covered with fur, found deep in the woods of Illogic, and related by DNA to the Tsena. The hora is a later stage of the same organism.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 06 - 09:04 AM

This thread is wobbly. What we need is a really good new topic, one that will take the discussion tot heights of spatulas and beyond.

Spinnerets? Gneiss? Multiple personality disorders? Population curves as a function of temperature amongst prairie dogs? Components of irresistible low-riders?

A


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