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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 12 Feb 11 - 06:38 PM
Eiseley 12 Feb 11 - 06:34 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 11 - 06:32 PM
Eiseley 12 Feb 11 - 06:27 PM
gnu 12 Feb 11 - 04:23 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 11 - 03:54 PM
gnu 12 Feb 11 - 03:16 PM
Little Hawk 12 Feb 11 - 02:33 PM
Eiseley 12 Feb 11 - 02:29 PM
Little Hawk 12 Feb 11 - 11:33 AM
Amos 12 Feb 11 - 11:06 AM
Acme 11 Feb 11 - 09:17 PM
Little Hawk 11 Feb 11 - 08:46 PM
gnu 11 Feb 11 - 08:37 PM
Amos 11 Feb 11 - 08:27 PM
Little Hawk 11 Feb 11 - 07:57 PM
Little Hawk 11 Feb 11 - 06:46 PM
GUEST,Dale 11 Feb 11 - 06:41 PM
GUEST 11 Feb 11 - 06:31 PM
Rapparee 11 Feb 11 - 05:57 PM
Little Hawk 11 Feb 11 - 05:32 PM
Little Hawk 11 Feb 11 - 05:30 PM
GUEST,Dale 11 Feb 11 - 04:25 PM
Eiseley 11 Feb 11 - 04:05 PM
Amos 11 Feb 11 - 03:20 PM
Acme 11 Feb 11 - 03:16 PM
gnu 11 Feb 11 - 02:21 PM
Amos 11 Feb 11 - 02:05 PM
Eiseley 11 Feb 11 - 01:41 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 11 Feb 11 - 12:58 PM
Little Hawk 11 Feb 11 - 12:43 PM
Acme 11 Feb 11 - 11:47 AM
Amos 11 Feb 11 - 10:40 AM
Amos 11 Feb 11 - 10:34 AM
GUEST,Sheryl Backwater 11 Feb 11 - 10:33 AM
GUEST,GUEST, Dale 11 Feb 11 - 06:22 AM
Ebbie 11 Feb 11 - 02:28 AM
Amos 11 Feb 11 - 02:23 AM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 11 - 11:18 PM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 11 - 11:14 PM
Rapparee 10 Feb 11 - 11:04 PM
Amos 10 Feb 11 - 10:53 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 10 Feb 11 - 10:52 PM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 11 - 10:37 PM
Acme 10 Feb 11 - 10:29 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 10 Feb 11 - 10:05 PM
GUEST 10 Feb 11 - 09:30 PM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 11 - 08:10 PM
GUEST,Dale 10 Feb 11 - 07:58 PM
Acme 10 Feb 11 - 06:24 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 06:38 PM

Okay, gnu, someone else has made me a similar offer, only he said he wants $1,000 plus the painting (and I pay for shipping). I'm having a hard time deciding what to do, because I don't want this Shatner painting to be dishonored by parting with it for too small an amount of cash.

Decisions, decisions...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 06:34 PM

Wonderful news! Thank you for sharing.

Kathryn


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 06:32 PM

Clean node edges and a chance to send excised tissue to testing at OncotypeDX for genetic markers regarding recurrence of breast cancer. No, no swords that I know of but the doctor does have a really nice dog that I've met.

Why, I'd most druther have Pat around than a bottle of good Scotch!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 06:27 PM

So, Rapparee, please tell us what your birthday present was that you got at the doctor's office. I hope it was great news about Pat and not that the surgeon has a cool collection of swords she shared with you.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 04:23 PM

Hey, Rap. If LH pays me $100 plus shipping to take it off his hands don't you be messin with the deal eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 03:54 PM

Gnu, you forgot the decimal point after the 1.

YES!! I am still here, even after my annual birthday orgy. Not even hung over! Well, maybe it wasn't quite the orgy it was some years ago. But I did have a very nice Reisling (the wine, not the gun) and a good dinner at PV's (they make their own tiramisu). My birthday present had come earlier in the week at the doctor's office.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 03:16 PM

I take it off yer hands fer $100 LH. But you gotta pay shipping too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 02:33 PM

I have a black velvet painting here of Shatner in a Speedo. It's priceless. I know that, because I have tried to sell it, and no one has made me an offer yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 02:29 PM

[In] search of rare and excellent treasures

Gold teeth?
Amalgam fillings?
Velvet paintings?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 11:33 AM

Ay-ay-ay-ay! Mis pantalones!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 11:06 AM

Hmmmm....a nugget from the seamy side!

Once again, my compadres and comadres, the time is upon us when I must sally bravely into the dark alleys of the Border Zone is search of rare and excellent treasures.

Oh, come with me to Mexico
Where the hurly-burly's bright
Where the streets of night light up like day
And honor is dark as night.
Where the bullets fly every by-and-by
And the gutters run with blood.
Ho, come with me to Mexico
'Cuz returning home feels good!
If you make it back past the border guards
And the goons of the HSA
To a place where drinking water's free
And the runners know their place.
(But where health care costs are out the roof
And will never likely slow!)
Oh come with me to Mexico,
Where the dental fees are low!
Away, in Mexico!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 09:17 PM

When I was crossing the country a couple of times a year I had a CB in my pickup. Used to talk to the guys sometimes. My favorite joke from those drives is this:










What's the ugliest thing on a naked woman?




































A Rodeway Driver.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 08:46 PM

Oh? Really? Okay, I promise to be gentle when Daisy PMs me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 08:37 PM

LH... that speaks volumes. After all, like George Carlin said, all we really want is our thunder. I am paraphrasing of course. I am sure that there will hence be thunder stealing in one way or another in due time as oneupmanship seems to appeal as thunderous and becomes the order of day... and night... perhaps all will be silent... as if to ignore the thunder of others roars even more loud. There are those who would revel even in silence considereing it a tool of pojection of their own literary prowess rather than join in the banter at hand.

Given such, I expect Dale, Del, Daisy and their ilk shall refrain from airing their personal delicates in open forum in future. All tho, Daisy has been on the internut porn sites lately an she's curious about some stuff eh? She asked me some questions that really freaked me out and I told her to ask you on accounta you are a worldly kinda guy. So, if she PMs ya, be gentle eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 08:27 PM

Ya left out obedjence, dude!

For those who have a hunger for unnerstandin' here's a guide to the lingo. The use of obscure incomprehensible language is a specialty of certain parties who shall remain nameless.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 07:57 PM

I get you, Dale. ;-) I wouldn't waste any time over Shane's ranting if I were you. He is all talk and no action. He just needs to blow off steam, that's all. I think he's mad cos he thinks you stole his thunder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 06:46 PM

That is a very clever tale, Rapparee! ;-)

What I think women really want is this:

1. security (both financial and emotional)

2. love and appreciation from those whom they love

3. respect (which goes along with appreciation above)

4. and a good time (fun, in other words) (this can include all kinds of enjoyable activities from the most intimate to the social, the recreational, the cultural, etc., and it requires a partner with a good sense of humour, and who enjoys life).

I can understand perfectly well why they would want these things, by the way... ;-) It's pretty much what I want too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Dale
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 06:41 PM

That there talk at LH was me. I aint use ta this hi teck stuff. Loggin in an out means haulin pulp ta me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 06:31 PM

LH... 10-4 good buddy. I think Daisy and I will get back together anyway and clear the way for Shane ta dodge Sheryl on his own. I am comin ta think Sheryl is just a backwater slough in the stream of life on accounta she even admitted she coodnt hold her licker. Shit happens eh.

But if that McBride fellah rants anymore I ain't gonna take those threats too kindly. I am a gentleman an even said I would run but when it comes ta threats this here good ol Kent County boy is hard enuff to be turned upside downy an driven inta hard ground eh. An if he wants ta get Don on me I'll get Del ta remind him not ta fuck with eagles eh. Big brothers have the voice of reeson when they have a reeson eh.

Sins I ain't herd from Sheryl sins the last pickle park I gess I'll just head down east and hope she sends pics of the twins some day. I just hope they aint but ugly on accounta that wood meen it was not me what really did knock her up.

I gotta hit the tar if I am gonna make it to Winnepeg in time to freeze solid. If ya never bin ta Winnepeg in February dont.

Back out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 05:57 PM

This may or may not be apropos:

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?






      




      




      




      


   

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now....what is the moral to this story?




      
Scroll down




         




      




The moral is....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 05:32 PM

And I'm not sure I can stand any more trucker lingo! Y' hear that, Dale?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 05:30 PM

The truth is, any number which William Shatner snags is...by definition...a VERY important number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Dale
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 04:25 PM

Sheryl,

I am in Duluth at the pickle park of a chicken coup. I took the big road behind a blocker runnin in the big hole with a bird dog shakin the bushes sos I'd have a clean shot on accounta my travel agent said the potash mine needs the metal real quick on accounta they got a munchy down at 15 large an hour. I lost time cawse a the border bears securin the homeland eh. No problem at the next doormat cause I got flippers on an theres nuthin fer yer tearerests ta attack in big sky country. As long as the cownty mownties and the yella stripes are treed I'll make Moose Jaw short short and flip flop 110 and double nickal on accounta even tho I ain't got no refer the cow will be cold.

As far as a dubel dubel ain't no way I am doin anythin like that unless its a Tims and not a shotgun. Matter a fact, unles you git yer shit together an git rid a Shane fer brains I am triple digit when I hit Uppity Canada an its hammer down fer the Merrytimes. Daisy texded me an she says Tuptee took her first steps and she might take me back if I swear I was drunk when I knocked you up sos I can be a father figger and keep her out of the pickle parks.

Dont make me chuse tween yer old man and hers on accounta she was the one what got him to get me out an give me a job pumpin at tha Irving for minimum and then he lent me the down on this heer large car. I cant drive with casts on my hands an pumpin gas when its minus real friggin cold sucks too an I know cawse I did it when I was waitin on my assalt charge. You shoulda seen tha other guy. But, if I gotta chuse tween broken fingers an a shotgun I'll be gettin me one a them voice rekognishon cell phones eh.

So like I said ya wanna get with Shane get with Shane. Yer call. But ya better dial soon.

For I go, I gotta ask ya one kwestion. Does that there nose ring frost up when its minus friggin freezin.

Back out darlin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 04:05 PM

Are we between the devil and the deep blue sea, Amos?

Oh, Stilly, that link you shared is full of the propagandized rhetoric of a raving Lunatic---Tom Luna, who is the double-speaking state school superintendent. Would that he were skewered on Rapparee's new birthday present!

Instead of guffawing into the toothless face of that lady, I kept very stoic and sympathetic, then ran back to my office to tell y'all.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 03:20 PM

We slewed past thirty-nine and six
And the land was cold and pale
But the ice was flying through the air
On the face of an awful gale.

There was ice in the air before us
And ice on the land behind
And the dogs was acting nervous
And the men were steering blind.

Over the ice, the endless ice,
We forced our harried way,
With only the sled twixt us and hell,
And the piper still to pay,
On the path to the next of Kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 03:16 PM

Eiseley, how did you keep a straight face in the presence of that story?

The world reaches the wilds of Idaho classrooms.

Has Bill Shatner snagged ANY important number so far? I don't think so. You know the old saying, "those who can, do. Those who can't, spend their time in California." (Sorry, Amos.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 02:21 PM

Billybob... with all due respect, it is my sicerest hope that khandu pens the 40k post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 02:05 PM

We had a song challenge about that situation once. As I recall I used the tune of 'Maxwell's Silver Hammer' to write a ditty about Mabel's Snowy Dentures...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 01:41 PM

Even the first half is bad . . .

A woman came into the library without her teeth. She was a bit embarrassed and mumbled, "I was drinking too much last night and I barfed 'em out in the toilet." she looked up and continued, "And my husband couldn't fish them out like he did last time."

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 12:58 PM

Ahem! I have been besieged lately by a flood of internet messages, all of them entreaties begging me to make an appearance on this apparently endless thread, "The Mother of all BS threads" as it's called. Many people seem to want me to drop in and make the 40,000 post here. Apparently that post is approaching fairly soon, and a host of people want ME to make it.

One question occurs to me immediately.

"Why?"

I frankly can't see the point in my doing so. I can't see any point in my visiting here at all, donating time from my busy schedule to a purpose that lacks all relevance and that promises...let me be honest here...little in the way of either profit or amusement.

Nevertheless, I am not a completely insensitive man, and I do feel for the concerns of my fellow humans, foolish though some of those concerns might be...

I am considering the possibility. I may show up here to make the 40,000 post. I may not. I promise nothing. To those who are sending me these messages...please stop! You have already said all that needs to be said on the matter, and nothing you say further will affect my ultimate decision, so give it up and get a life, okay?

You can't pressure me into it. I'm used to blowing off people who try to pressure me into things by now. You'll just have to hope for the best.

As always,

William Shatner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 12:43 PM

That's an interesting notion, Stilly, but I prefer to believe that a tawdry love triangle cum vendetta is unfolding across the snowswept slopes of North Ontario, one that will produce many shocking revelations and probably a few pretty grotty incidents. This could bring some much-needed excitement to the Blind River area and the whole region. I hope so. Things get pretty slow around there in the winter. The new of Mubarak's exit has momentarily given people something to talk about in Blind River, but since most of them don't even know where Egypt is or who Hosni Mubarak is, it hasn't helped that much.

As Shane said, "Who the flip is Hostnee Moobarick? What kinda flippin' name IS that anyways? Is that a man's name???"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 11:47 AM

Maybe one of these personaes is Mubarak, working on his English and looking for something to do now that he's out of power. He could do worse, and it would explain the grammar and typos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 10:40 AM

Thence, I am done with murmelling and croodling like some ninny who dithers. Farewell!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 10:34 AM

(Heresies)... are exitiall and pestilent to the kingdomes?dwhere they are admitted.


1633    T. Adams Comm. 2 Peter ii. i. 382   

Now, I don't dredge through 17th C. works often, but this quote from the OED struck me. Exitial and pestilent!! There, in a nutshell, is the essence of everything I have protested against, lo these many thousands of posts, in the curlicues of our sojourn here.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Sheryl Backwater
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 10:33 AM

You guys got me all konfuzed now. Dale you said you knoked me up when I was drunk an I nver drink to eksess and tole me yu were Shan eMcBride. An Shane says I am a hower and I am not hower because howers charge mony and I only do it for friends or fur love. So I'm going to tell my daddy that Shane has knocked me up or maybee it was Dale and he will see that they both do the Rite Thing By Me even if I have too marry both of them at onct. But daddy will mak them pay for a jenetiks tast and then we'll now for sertan and daddy dodn't beeleve in that gun lisensing law neihter so it will be Do The Right Thing for his dauhter or Else! Butt I'll tell you both one thin: daddy don't like peple to call me a hower.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,GUEST, Dale
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 06:22 AM

Sheryl... see what I meen? Threats of violins. Shane is a Blind River RAT. If he really cared for ya he woulda bin the one ta knock ya up eh?

Anyway, whatever. It's up to you Sheryl. You have to choose. Just remember, I got a steady job as long as I don't get no deadheads er emmty backslides for the next 5 years and I gotta large car fer us ta raise the twins in. If it's boys I am thinkin Darrel and Deewain an if it's girls Sheryl and Cheryl. See? I bin thinkin a lot about our future.

As fer Shane, don't worry. Even when he's sober he can't catch me on accounta I can run faster than a bobcat what had his ass bernt with a hot poker.

I gotta stand on it fer the brite lites a Moose Jaw with a load a highdrawlicks fer the potash mine but I gotta flipflop quick like with a load a beef. I'll save some nice stakes for ya an we can have a romantic BBQ at The Big Stop. I'll spring for the beer if the check clears. If ya wanna get hold of me on the tar you can 19 me. Just remember my truckin handle is Pale Dale.

Thats all what I got ta say. If ya wanna get with Shane I can understand. But ya gotta make up yer mind soon on accounta there are a lotta truck tramps out there and a man has needs eh.

Back out darlin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 02:28 AM

Curiouser and curiouser.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 02:23 AM

Not such a bad looking girl, by Shane's standards.

Well all this hodgepodge of secret ownership is too much for me, really. I say if yer gonna play ventriloquist yer oughter sign up and own it like a man, you know? Tsk. I am sure Chinga would never put up with this kind of smirky lurking in any of her upstanding establishments of fine feminine entertainment.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 11 - 11:18 PM

Well...I'll be damned! I just did a search on Google for "Feral Cheryl", and what do I find?

This: Feral Cheryl (from Australia)

She is touted as "the anti-Barbi". How about that? Not what I was expecting, that's for sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 11 - 11:14 PM

There are other possibilities, Amos. I happen to know that "Dale" is authored by a fellow Canadian on this forum, but I will not say more than that.

I'm not sure who is responsible for Feral Cheryl, but she has been showing up here off and on for years now. She seems to be the one girl in Ontario who thinks Shane is a highly desirable "studmuffin". I am not aware of what she thinks about Dale.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 11 - 11:04 PM

Amos, take some deep breaths and stop shouting. It's bad for your heart, you know, to get all heated up like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 11 - 10:53 PM

YEAH--THEY ARE CAUSING ME TO HAVE OOB EXPERIENCES JUST READING THEM!!

ANYWAY RAPP SAYS NOT TO LOOK AT HIM,AND LH INSISTS HE DIDN'T DO IT. SOMEBODY IS LYING THROUGH THEIR TEETH OR SOMETHING...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 10 Feb 11 - 10:52 PM

It is the flippin' IN-body epasodes that cause pain and hangovers afterwards! Trust me, eh? I know all about this.

Dale is gonna have a major in-body epasode when I find him and he will suffer pain!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 11 - 10:37 PM

Spare a thought for the others as well, Stilly. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 11 - 10:29 PM

I hope these out-of-body episodes don't cause Little Hawk any pain, or a hangover afterward.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 10 Feb 11 - 10:05 PM

What the FLIP! I hearn about this a hower ago from Don! What do I flippin' find? I find this major flippin' BOLTHOLE Dale slaggin' me off and atackin' my good name here, eh? YOU ARE A FLIPPIN' LOOSER, DALE!!! Ya hear me? That is the last flippin' time I am givin' you any free beers, man! It is OVER! You are TOWSTE, man! If I ever flippin' see you agane I will kick yer flippin' ass acrost town, eh?

Cheryl, do not lissen to that idiot hosebag. He is such a liar that he dont have no flippin' creminibality at all...not in Blind River...not anywheres! I am the flippin' KING arownd here and he knows it so he is real jelous and will say antything to get in yer pants, eh? Do NOT fall for him! You will regret it. I promise that. Cos what will happen is that either 1. he will leave you flippin' stranded on the road somewhere's between here and the Soo after havin' his, like, way with you...or 2. he will take you back to his flippin' dump in Nova Flippin' Scoshia or wherever the hell he is from to live in uncommen law marrage with him and you will end up with at leeast 15 kids and livin' in a flippin' trash heep of a place like a dog! Maybe in a flippin' trailer park even!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Feb 11 - 09:30 PM

Sheryl... if you love me, meet me behind the Irving Big Stop where they park the big rigs. Look for the "Moose'n'r Down The Road" Peterbuilt. I'll have Bocephus cranked on the tunes and we'll dance all night long in my extended cab.

I'll wine ya n dine ya proper. I got a microwave fer the McCains piece a pockets and a fridge fer ta keep the Molson Canadian cold.

And I got two tickets fer the big concert on The Hill this summer. I am goin. U2?

C'mon darlin. Make me happy eh wha? Don't be blinded by that river trash.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 11 - 08:10 PM

Oh, God...it's getting worse. I feel waves of queasiness washing over me....Must get some fresh air!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Dale
Date: 10 Feb 11 - 07:58 PM

Dearest Feral Sheryl,

It wasn't Shane what knocked you up. I used his name when I was in the heat of passhon and I am ashamed I done that. But I'll make things right I promise.

Oh, he was there but he was passed out on Molson's ale. And so were you but when I picked you up to put you in bed we had a tender moment... well, two, on accounta it took a minute to get yer long johns off and then me off. Anyway, I'll treat you like the queen you are if you will give me half a chance and you promise me that you will cut loose that Blind River Bastard. He's no good eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 11 - 06:24 PM

The post from Ms. Backwater was most moving. Who knew that twice in the day I would use the term "gag reflex," but there you have it. Lunch lurched as I read that post. (The other occasion had to do with describing something the dogs did last night, but that's another story.)

Glad to hear Eiseley was over for a visit. Tell Pat hello, and I hope she's feeling better!


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