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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 09 Feb 11 - 11:48 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 09 Feb 11 - 11:00 PM
Acme 09 Feb 11 - 10:50 PM
Acme 09 Feb 11 - 10:49 PM
Rapparee 09 Feb 11 - 10:33 PM
Amos 09 Feb 11 - 10:11 PM
Rapparee 09 Feb 11 - 10:10 PM
Rapparee 09 Feb 11 - 09:39 PM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 11 - 08:45 PM
Amos 09 Feb 11 - 07:57 PM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 11 - 07:04 PM
Amos 09 Feb 11 - 05:02 PM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 11 - 04:03 PM
Rapparee 09 Feb 11 - 03:55 PM
Amos 09 Feb 11 - 03:46 PM
Acme 09 Feb 11 - 03:14 PM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 11 - 01:46 PM
Eiseley 09 Feb 11 - 10:47 AM
Rapparee 09 Feb 11 - 10:23 AM
freda underhill 09 Feb 11 - 09:58 AM
Rapparee 09 Feb 11 - 09:49 AM
freda underhill 09 Feb 11 - 02:56 AM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 11 - 12:59 AM
Rapparee 09 Feb 11 - 12:15 AM
Amos 08 Feb 11 - 10:30 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 11 - 08:27 PM
Amos 08 Feb 11 - 08:20 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 11 - 08:12 PM
Eiseley 08 Feb 11 - 07:24 PM
Little Hawk 08 Feb 11 - 06:31 PM
Amos 08 Feb 11 - 02:19 PM
Acme 08 Feb 11 - 01:23 PM
Little Hawk 08 Feb 11 - 12:57 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 11 - 10:56 AM
Amos 08 Feb 11 - 01:28 AM
Acme 08 Feb 11 - 12:34 AM
Amos 07 Feb 11 - 10:12 PM
Rapparee 07 Feb 11 - 09:14 PM
Amos 07 Feb 11 - 08:05 PM
Rapparee 07 Feb 11 - 08:04 PM
Little Hawk 07 Feb 11 - 05:36 PM
Amos 07 Feb 11 - 03:25 PM
Rapparee 07 Feb 11 - 02:25 PM
gnu 07 Feb 11 - 02:25 PM
Amos 07 Feb 11 - 10:59 AM
Rapparee 07 Feb 11 - 10:46 AM
Rapparee 07 Feb 11 - 12:11 AM
Amos 06 Feb 11 - 11:55 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 11 - 10:44 PM
Little Hawk 06 Feb 11 - 10:35 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 11:48 PM

That was purely stunning, Miss Eiseley!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 11:00 PM

A Flying Dutchman in her progress over the waves
of, not water, but a thicker slish,
Is this vessel known as MOAB to her hardy crew.
Led not by William Shatner (praise the Lord)
But by a team of wordsmith anarchists,
Mother is a different kind of ship than those that sail the sea.

Afloat in virtual dimensions,
Adrift on sparking webs
That in their crazy angles, crooked ways,
Resemble more a labyrinth of odd canals
Than open ocean,
This stalwart Mother floating aimless through the maze
of little twisting passages, all alike,
Will sometimes leave a treasure in a dead-end hall:
Some poetic gem or tricksy verse
Announcing milestones of Kay.
These unpraised songs are left as writing on a wall?
Figurative sconces filled with shining verse,
Illuminating dark recesses where dauntless sailors
Need not explore.

For there are wild apes in these ways,
Monsters lurking in the wine-dark sea,
Freakish duck-dogs quarking in the void
And far too many frayed skeins
For any traveler to follow without fear
Of strangulation, emasculation, decapitation or worse.

So when we see another stanza in the MOAB Poem,
It's like a torch lit in the dark, a couplet signifying "end of scene."
And we can turn and sail another way, as those who turn in sleep begin another dream.


Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 10:50 PM

I'm told that is Westminster Bridge in London.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 10:49 PM

All light and shadow in a photo that is close to Chongo's heart. And most likely Chinga's as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 10:33 PM

I just ran across the following title in a medical journal on PubMed:

Immunohistochemical detection of Ki67 in breast cancer correlates with transcriptional regulation of genes related to apoptosis and cell death.

I love it! "Immunohistochomical"!! Who'da thunk it?
-----------------
To answer the survey of Amos
Regarding the epics of verse
I must respond "All of the above!"
For Lord knows, it could be worse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 10:11 PM

Hell, his own mother called him a "fucking baboon" when he left home.

Anyway, here's a survey.

EPIC KAY POEMS and BALLADS

There have been a number of epic pieces composed to celebrate the accumulation of milestone numbers of posts in MOAB. In some, the MOAB has been metaphorically depicted as a ship in a gale; in orthers, as a crew of desperate rail navvies putting down track; in others, as a race of desperate mighty steeds heading for a finish line.

Each of these compositions has had all the artistic merit of a piece by Kipling, or by Chongo, by McGonagle, or by Walksaboutverse--the same desperate sensitivity, rattled tatterdemalion scansion and impeccable spasticity of rhythm. Despite these aesthetic credentials of the first water, they are constantly slighted, and let pass without comment by their readers.

In your experience are these MOAB Epics:

1. Too long?
2. Too short?
3. Not exciting enough?
4. Too exciting to bear?
5. Too frequently posted?
6. Too infrequent?
7. Beating a dead horse?
8. Inept?
9. Masterful and entertaining?
10. A glut on the river of MOAB?
11. Other (please be specific).

Respond by number or in prose, by rhymed couplets or fastidious invective as seems best to your discerning eye.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 10:10 PM

No, I guess Amos is correct. You can't tell them apart if Chongo is walking backwards.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 09:39 PM

True, but we're talking about Chongo's backside here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 08:45 PM

You must be joking. Only a complete moron could fail to distinguish between a chimp and a baboon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 07:57 PM

From the baboons!! Sheeshe. Especially if he walks backwards...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 07:04 PM

From what?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 05:02 PM

How will they tell him apart?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 04:03 PM

Chongo didn't go to jail for that assault (mainly because he has a lot of buddies in the police force), but he now has a large contingent of Baboons related to the first one who are on a vendetta against him. Not that there's anything new about that...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 03:55 PM

I never stared at a PDP11, but I'll bet Amos and I are probably the only ones here who know what a PDP11 is/was/will be. (I got rid of my manuals some years back.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 03:46 PM

Oh ye of little faith!! Anyone who is ANYONE uses direct perception, rather than biological sensors, to see their way through the storm of life. Direct perception is instantaneous, a result of permeating exiatence rather than hiding in it like a meathead staring at a PDP11.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 03:14 PM

Did Chongo go to jail for that assault?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 01:46 PM

You're quite right that there is a small time lag in our sensory perceptions of the world, Rapaire. But it's VERY small, agreed? I think it's so small that it hardly matters in any practical sense. For instance, there was this Baboon who figured he was so fast that he could kick Chongo a hard one in the ass and then get away before Chongo saw who did it.

It didn't work out. Immediately after administering the kick he received a broken leg, a busted nose, 2 black eyes, 5 broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder, and a bruised kidney. He is recuperating in hospital. The sensory lag just wasn't long enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 10:47 AM

Well, you would know it right away, but just not at the instant everything disappeared. It would still be present in the mind for that instant. And if it is virtually present, doesn't that count? Virtual life is certainly as real as we allow it to be. Think of Captain Kirk, or Chongo, or even that McBride guy.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 10:23 AM

Yeah. Everything could have disappeared and you wouldn't know it right away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 09:58 AM

spooky.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 09:49 AM

Correct, LH. Our sensory lives are in the past. Sorry for the confusion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 02:56 AM

hilarious link, gnu!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 12:59 AM

To the contrary, we always live in the present. The past is a remembered dream, and the future is a phantasm. The only real thing we have and ever will have is the present. When you read this, it will be in the present. When you decide it's all a bunch of hooey it will still be in the present. You can deny the present all you want (and people do deny it much of the time), but it will never deny you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 11 - 12:15 AM

Amos, we all live in the past. Roughly speaking your nerve impulses travel at 72 mph -- VIRTUALLY instantaneous in the size of the human body, but actually a pause from perception to brain realization. Thus, EVERYTHING you see, feel, taste, smell, touch, hear is actually in the past, just as the light from every star or satellite comes from the past. You're not built to do any OTHER than live in the past. Notice that I'm not saying anything about the "life of the mind" or a "spiritual life," just that at the biological level. Some, Shame McBride for example, rarely even reach that level....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 11 - 10:30 PM

Oh, all right. Do let us know the next time you're in the general vicinity of present time, and we'll try to communicate. I m sure living in the remote past will occupy all your attention until then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 11 - 08:27 PM

NEVER!!

Truth, Justice, and the American/Canadian Way will prevail, just as their combined forces did at Normandy in 1944 or Fort George in 1812.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 11 - 08:20 PM

Oh, Rapparee, give it up. The evidence is all agin ya.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 11 - 08:12 PM

That's all true, but he spells the words "Kuwl", "Swave", and "Debonehair" -- just as he pronounces them. He also claims to be "hansum", "gud luking", "soovellt", "entelleejint", and "edyoukated".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 08 Feb 11 - 07:24 PM

Amos really is cool, suave, and debonair.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Feb 11 - 06:31 PM

Yes, yes...I bear a heavy cross, Amos. Each day I yearn to be as cool, suave, and debonair as you are, and to live a life like yours. It just kills me, and I have no idea what to do about it. So I make up wild stories instead. ;-D Homeland Security is longing to get their greasy paws on me. They thirst for my blood. I am number 612 on their list of 75,213,709 known subversives worthy of detention and waterboarding...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 11 - 02:19 PM

Well, that's not exactly what I said, but then Rapp's memory never was all that good. What I said was "If you're not, you probably should be..." meaning that he should be fined. Either the remark went entirely over his head, or he did not want to confront the long inventory of social offenses for which such a fine would be justified, as he ignored the remark, and continued to splash his arms and legs and wallow in the mudflats along the shoreline, asserting that he was a widdle-biddy fishy.

Little Hawk is a well known fantabulist who creates wild and fanciful tales about simians, hamsters, Canadian sots modeled on his mother, and dreams of unreal movie stars; so it is no surprise he has turned his fruitful but scurrilous imagination on my bold adventures south of the border, which he only wishes he could emulate. Unfortunately his hom is surrounded by snow and if he tried to flee south of the border he would be arrested by Homeland Security as a dubious type.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Feb 11 - 01:23 PM

Rap, I think someone must have left the door open again, you let your cold weather leak out of Idaho. It's spilling all over Texas (again!) this week.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Feb 11 - 12:57 PM

You're not the only person who has had to resort to extraordinary measures to fend off Amos's unsolicited advances, Rapparee. I have heard some real horror stories from Chongo about bizarre and quite disturbing stuff he's turned up while investigating Amos's illicit actitivies in Mexico. Really creepy! You don't want to know. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 11 - 10:56 AM

And that is because the last time Amos and I met I fell down (he tripped me) and offered his hand to help me up. I politely declined his help, as I had seen what he'd been doing with his hands earlier and knew that an extremely contagious (and embarassing) disease could be spread. No, instead I worked my way to shore of Chesapeake Bay by myself and again declined his offer of a "hand up" knowing that if I once touched his hand he'd be all over me like white on rice. I don't object to those who like that, but I simply don't care for it myself and I knew that I'd have to harm Amos to break free. Therefore I politely replied, "No, thank you, I'm fine," to which he replied, "I'll bet you are!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 11 - 01:28 AM

Madame, Rapp and I have never been seen holding hands, for the simple reason that we do not touch each other. Ever. For good and sufficient reason.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Feb 11 - 12:34 AM

That was a very funny clip, gnu! Thanks! Do you suppose he had Amos and Rapparee in mind when he referred several times to the Royal Marines?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 11 - 10:12 PM

Yours comes from the Department of Anarchic Rebuttal, plasma-boy, not from the ancient Board of Poetes Lyrick. Those DAB guys will issue anyone any license in the world if you slip them a fin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 11 - 09:14 PM

Oh. Only a level 8 license, huh? I have a Level 1.0 license, lifetime issue, license to ignore or use meter, scansion, rhyme, alliteration, assonance, personification, and all that other poetical stuff as I see fit. As a Level 8 you, Amos, must stick to the "rules" of trochee, anapest, dactyl, falling meter, enjambment, pyrrhic, iamb, tercet, spondee, et al. Of course, this does mean that you have been promoted from a Level 9, where all you could write were dirty limericks because the "clean" ones were too difficult, so perhaps there is some little hope for you. I'll be happy to nominate you for a Level 7.8 if you'll respond in a spondee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 11 - 08:05 PM

Merriam Webster seems to think donjon and keep are alternative terms, which would make "donjon keep" a poetical repetition which I am entitled to under my U.S.-issued Poetic License AXOLOTL-8-54-789.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 11 - 08:04 PM

Heavens! I'm gong to be attacked by a medieval dachshund! Alack and alas! the dog shall undermine mine castle walls yip all night so I cannot get restful sleep! Whenever I catapult a ball of stone it will chase it and bring it back! Oh, whoa is me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Feb 11 - 05:36 PM

Yes! And if some fresh cooked wieners are placed on the far side of yon bastion, my wiener dog will batter it down with indecent haste and absolutely unstoppable determination!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 11 - 03:25 PM

It is as a psychological defense that I refer to it, sirrah; your stout reinforced oaken doors are keeping out even the slightest glimmer of my earnest humor. What excellent defenses for your precious validity. The merrymakers of the world will surround your bastion and shower it with laughter and applause. But it remains to be seen whether any of it will get in. Little Hawk has offered his weiner dog as a battering ram.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 11 - 02:25 PM

Amos, the "keep" was the central tower of a castle, the place of last resort during a siege. The "donjon" was rarely a place of imprisonment, as we think of them today, but rather below-ground storage rooms for food and other necessities that would be needed during a siege. The portcullis, being a grate, would hardly block noise. A "donjon keep" wouldn't have a portcullis, although the entrance to the "donjons" might have a sturdy, iron-reinforced, door. Remember that the castle was intended as a military strong point and was never meant to be a place of partying it up or a snug and warm home (although it could and was used as both).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Feb 11 - 02:25 PM

A trap door? I like the high end options like this guy describes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 11 - 10:59 AM

You have to call out a little louder, Rapp--it's hard to hear you yelling from the depths of your donjon keep when the portcullis is down.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 11 - 10:46 AM

Good Morning, Mom! Let me be the first to congratulate you! Amos finally stayed out of jail for a whole night AND a whole day! You have every reason to be proud of him -- that hasn't happened since he was four years old.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 11 - 12:11 AM

My home IS a castle, Amos. And LH, under the welcome mat is an oubliette.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 11 - 11:55 PM

MWahahaha! I was talking about the door to your house, Rapparree, not the door to your Precious Validity!! :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 11 - 10:44 PM

No, Eiseley. This is a lid, and this is a roof, albeit a trifle ornate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 11 - 10:35 PM

Nice place, man. I hope you have cauldrons of boiling oil and big stones ready to throw from up on the battlements in case of unwelcome visitors. One should always be prepared.


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