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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 31 Jul 10 - 10:47 AM
Amos 31 Jul 10 - 09:44 AM
Acme 30 Jul 10 - 11:19 PM
Amos 30 Jul 10 - 10:30 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 10 - 09:35 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 10 - 06:10 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 10 - 11:05 AM
Amos 30 Jul 10 - 10:50 AM
Acme 30 Jul 10 - 10:13 AM
Acme 30 Jul 10 - 01:08 AM
Amos 29 Jul 10 - 10:07 PM
Amos 29 Jul 10 - 09:52 PM
Rapparee 29 Jul 10 - 09:22 PM
Rapparee 29 Jul 10 - 08:48 PM
Amos 29 Jul 10 - 08:40 PM
Rapparee 29 Jul 10 - 06:37 PM
Amos 29 Jul 10 - 03:53 PM
Acme 29 Jul 10 - 03:41 PM
Amos 29 Jul 10 - 03:00 PM
Amos 29 Jul 10 - 11:21 AM
Acme 29 Jul 10 - 10:30 AM
Amos 29 Jul 10 - 10:29 AM
Acme 29 Jul 10 - 12:15 AM
Rapparee 28 Jul 10 - 09:03 PM
Amos 28 Jul 10 - 05:26 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 10 - 05:08 PM
Amos 28 Jul 10 - 04:57 PM
Eiseley 28 Jul 10 - 04:53 PM
Amos 28 Jul 10 - 10:27 AM
Rapparee 28 Jul 10 - 12:56 AM
Acme 27 Jul 10 - 08:01 PM
Amos 27 Jul 10 - 07:49 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 10 - 01:05 PM
Amos 27 Jul 10 - 11:29 AM
Rapparee 27 Jul 10 - 11:08 AM
Amos 27 Jul 10 - 11:02 AM
Amos 27 Jul 10 - 09:43 AM
Acme 27 Jul 10 - 01:01 AM
Amos 26 Jul 10 - 09:00 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 10 - 08:57 PM
Amos 26 Jul 10 - 07:22 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 10 - 06:04 PM
Amos 26 Jul 10 - 03:09 PM
Amos 26 Jul 10 - 02:47 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 10 - 02:20 PM
Amos 26 Jul 10 - 01:25 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 10 - 01:03 PM
Amos 26 Jul 10 - 12:05 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 10 - 11:16 AM
Amos 26 Jul 10 - 10:46 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 10 - 10:47 AM

And...who's the Key Grip?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 10 - 09:44 AM

It's Satyrday. The Booke awaiteth. This afternon a play. If all the world is a play, what I want to know is, where are the gaffe boys, and who's in charge of costumes?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jul 10 - 11:19 PM

Damn! My last post didn't stick!

Rapaire, you run these things past MOM when she's had a couple of beers after dinner and is sound asleep in front of the television! That DOESN'T count! "Phhhtttttttt!" That's what MOM said when I asked her about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 10 - 10:30 PM

That's not what she says when you're out of the house and she sits in front of her mirror counting her gray hairs, Rapaire. Sure she said, "Go, go, if you must...". But you gotta understand, that's her outside voice. Her inside voice is sighing with relief at the prospect of a break from all the stress you cause her.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 10 - 09:35 PM

Mom approves of EVERYTHING that I do, you know. She knows that, unlike Amos, would never do anything wrong. I didn't even buy a Tilley hat today, so there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 10 - 06:10 PM

This is a MOM-approved activity, by the way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 10 - 11:05 AM

Mr. Rapaire will soon be on his way to Ennis, MT via Virginia City, MT.
He is the only person in the area who knows how to tie a noose correctly, and so has been asked by folks up here in Vigilante Country to help them out, as they have run out of pre-tied nooses. This, of course, is very bad for the tourist trade as it only leaves fishing, hiking, camping, music, YNP, and stuff like that. The Vigilantes were at loose ends until they asked him up to help out.

"On the road again...."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 10 - 10:50 AM

Mom!! Mom!! Rapaire has RUN AWAY!! I saw him from the schoolbus!! He was walking down Main toward the freeway on-ramp with a bindlestick over his shoulder and he had that old Army coat on he got from the Salvation Army store in the Seventies so he could impress Cynthis Twinkmeister from his home room. I think he was going to try and hitchhike to Chicago or something!!

I wasn't gonna say anything but Stilly said I hadta.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jul 10 - 10:13 AM

Hours and hours have passed and no one has come along to give MOM a boost! Where's that show-off Rapaire and his fancy muffins and delicacy breakfast foods?

MOM, I made a loaf of bread last night, and have more of my homemade mustang grape jelly. And lots of fresh fruit - do you prefer a peach or mango?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jul 10 - 01:08 AM

Shoved onto a library facebook page to amuse the librarians and/or the patrons. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 10:07 PM

A present for Ms Eiseley (Rapaire can look, too, although he is retired.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 09:52 PM

Hubert Blaine Wolfe schlegel stein hausen berger dorff, Sr. (Wolfe+585, Senior) is the short name of a Philadelphian typesetter, who has the longest personal name ever used. "585" represents the number of additional letters in his full surname (total 590). His full 746-letter name is Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfe schlegelstein hausenberger dorffvoraltern waren gewissenhaft schaferswessen schafewaren wohlgepflege und sorgfaltigkeit beschutzen von angreifen durch ihrraubgierigfeinde welche voraltern zwolftausend jahres vorandieerscheinen wander-ersteer dem enschderraumschiff gebrauchlicht als sein ursprung von kraftgestart sein lange fahrt hinzwischen sternartigraum auf der suchenach diestern welche gehabt bewohnbar planeten kreise drehen sich und wohin der neurasse von verstandigmen-schlichkeit konnte fortplanzen und sicher freuen anlebens langlich freude und ruhe mit nicht ein furcht vor angreifen von anderer intelligent geschopfs von hinzwischen sternartigraumen, Senior.[1][2]



Wolfe schlegelstein hausenberger dorff, Senior was born in Bergedorf, Germany (near Hamburg), and later emigrated to the United States, settling in Philadelphia. His birthdate has been given as February 29, 1904, but he was also reported to be age 47 in a mid-1964 wire story. He became a typesetter, "logically enough", according to Bennett Cerf.[3] He was a member of the American Name Society for a while.[4]

His name first attracted attention when it appeared in the 1938 Philadelphia telephone directory on page 1292, column 3, line 17,[5] and in a court order of Judge John Boyle of May 25, 1938: "Wolfe schlegel stein hausen berger dorf, Jr., [sic] etc., vs. Yellow Cab Co., petition for compromise settlement granted"Ñwith speculation that the case was settled because "they couldn't pronounce it".[6]

A son, Hubert Blaine Wolfe schlegel stein hausen berger dorff, Jr., was born in Philadelphia in 1952, and was able to pronounce his surname by age three.[7] Family letterhead used the form "Hubert Blaine Wolfe schlegel stein hausen berger-dorff".[8]

When Inquirer journalist Frank Brookhouser omitted the letter "u" in reporting a 1952 Philadelphia voter registration under the 35-letter surname, Wolfe schlegel stein hausen berger dorff's prompt correction was carried by Time[9] and passed on to other outlets.[10] Philadelphia's business computers used an abbreviated form on the city's voting registration books; the utility company, however, when told he wouldn't pay his bill unless his name was right, began spelling it properly, on three lines.[11] Brookhouser later responded by tributing the correctly spelled Wolfe schlegel stein hausen berger dorff as the exemplar Philadelphian named in the first sentence of his Our Philadelphia, comparing him to another local typesetter, Benjamin Franklin.[12]

(Wikipedia, logically enough)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 09:22 PM

CELEBRATE, dammit!!

For today, in 1904 CE, was born Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenberdorft Sr. Now everyone together, "Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you...."

(Really!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 08:48 PM

You should be around when I pay my taxes! And the number of stores I've been banned from...why, I can only deal with Walmart these days!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 08:40 PM

The fact that you don't recognize the difference between fiscal matters and fecal matter explains a great deal, Rapaire. Who steals your purse steals trash, indeed!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 06:37 PM

Fecal drainage? Don't you have sewers? Or is it something you should Depend upon?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 03:53 PM

I think more than anything it is a state of mind.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 03:41 PM

Fiscal drainage, is that a contagious disease? Or the result of poorly-conducted surgery (on your wallet)?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 03:00 PM

The NEW doors are being hand-made in a beautifully turned out garage in City HEights by a wonderful craftsmen. Mebbe two weeks. Then the PAINTER comes. Then the CARPETS come. Then we spend two years repairing the fiscal drainage.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 11:21 AM

Decubitus: Lying down. A decubitus ulcer is a bed sore, the consequence of lying in one position too long. The Latin "decubitus" (meaning lying down) is related to "cubitum" (the elbow) reflecting the fact the Romans habitually rested on their elbows when they reclined.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 10:30 AM

Whoa! Think of the possibilities!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 10:29 AM

Or--even more basic--an awake mind?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jul 10 - 12:15 AM

Life without a telephone, computer, mp3, etc. They always find some other electronic outlet. Will you be able to reduce him to the absolute most basic entertainment - a book?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 09:03 PM

Then I wouldn't be able to sing anything, since according to John Wesley the Devil has all the good songs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 05:26 PM

Well, that should be all right as long as you leave your satanic voice to home.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 05:08 PM

Well, yeah, I can bring a guitar with me. I can't play, but I can bring it, I guess. And it's really my wife's guitar. Eiseley plays piano; if she's going to Getaway...well, she has a concert grand. I'm thinking about leaving my instrument at home and just bringing my angelic voice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 04:57 PM

Ber sure and take the guitar with you. You'll want it at the Getaway.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 04:53 PM

I'm taking the sons down south to the Lodge in the lovely Uinta Mountains for a few days.

We had quite an uproar last night involving a supposed burglary and a helpful policeman who kindly went down the basement with a gun drawn to smoke out any lurking intruders. Then my oldest son "remembered" that the thing I thought had been stolen had really been "lent" to his friend that afternoon. As a result, that oldest son will have a few telephoneless days to think about things. :| Such fun being a mother.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 10:27 AM

Maybe the antlers are just getting in the way and you should put them somewhere else. I can offer a couple of ideas.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 10 - 12:56 AM

Dear Mom,

Tonight I changed into an elk. Tomorrow I am going to lope off into the hills of Montana. I hope to be able to let you know what it is like to be an elk. Right now it's a pain, typing with my antlers.

Your Fave Rave Kid,
R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jul 10 - 08:01 PM

Doing some major distribution of garden bounty. It's that time of year when there's way too much of some stuff. Fortunately, I have co-workers who will happily take it off my hands. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 10 - 07:49 PM

And don't get me wrong--I can tolerate actual ambiguity jes' fine. More or less. I think. But unnecessary, intentional ambiguity is a minefield of misunderestimating malevolence and mischief masquerading as mere mummery. I do hope that was clear.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 10 - 01:05 PM

Yeah, but then so do I. Ain't nobody like Sam, for writin', drinkin' or, ah, other things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 10 - 11:29 AM

Oh, Rapaire! You make me feel so...so...interviewed!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 10 - 11:08 AM

EVERYTHING Mark Twain (I knew him as my drinkin' buddy, "Sam") wrote is far, far superior to anything you or I could do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 10 - 11:02 AM

The dodgy frameshifting which I have complained about has been characterized more elegantly than I could ever do in this hitherto unpublished Essay by Mark Twain about Interviews. Excellent read.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 10 - 09:43 AM

..but not really a potty animal...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jul 10 - 01:01 AM

He's a bit potty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 09:00 PM

That should be a plural--pots. He may also be going to pot, but that's his business. Or maybe his business is pots, I forget...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 08:57 PM

And speaking of the missing, where the hell is Bee-Dubya-Ell? Don't tell me he's gone to pot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 07:22 PM

You should always credit your friends when yu borrow quotes from them, Rapaire. Tsk.


Naw, LH wouldn't come--he was afeared the State was going to fall off into the ocean and didn't want to risk leaving his dachshund...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 06:04 PM

No, all of the quotes are from Brigit Hitler's brother-in-law.

As for Little Hawk, I thought he was at your place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 03:09 PM

Besides, the reference you cite makes it very clear that the whole algorithm depends on your intelligent use of POS tags, which would be logically impossible here, since your entire thesis is a POS.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 02:47 PM

My goodness!! You have a book full of silly-ass quotes.

The promulgation of a false idea, no matter how succinct, does not bring about clarity, sir. You are confusing communication with idle semantic meandering and hair-splitting.

Intentional obfuscation is a fine art, but when it is disguised under the false colors of genuine communication it becomes a betrayal of the spirit. It undermines th very effort of the mind to optimize survival in all its gaily-colored theaters. Thus, it is beneath you.

BTW, what has become of our friend and bantering companion Little Hawk?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 02:20 PM

So clarity is good and not-clarity is evil?

"Any alliance whose purpose is not the intention to wage war is senseless and useless."

"How fortunate for governments that the people they administer don't think."

"Humanitarianism is the expression of stupidity and cowardice."

"Struggle is the father of all things. It is not by the principles of humanity that man lives or is able to preserve himself above the animal world, but solely by means of the most brutal struggle."

"The very first essential for success is a perpetually constant and regular employment of violence."

"Universal education is the most corroding and disintegrating poison that liberalism has ever invented for its own destruction."

Those quotations seem pretty clear and therefore they are good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 01:25 PM

I am tempted to write a scathingly sarcastic ditty, call;ed perhaps, "The Ballad of the Reframer".

My lover's a reframer,
There are none like him today,
He could spin your words so fast that you
Would take back what you say.

He could make Jesus Christ sound sinful,
He'd make Hera out of Jove!
He could out twist Bill Cinton, sir,
And out dance Karl Rove!

He'd make liberals sound psycho,
Make God foreswear his Name,
But he'd never fight or argue,
He would simply flip the frame.

He never flinched from conscience, sir,
He never blanched from shame,
He'd take money from Ann Coulter
And brought Andrew Briebert fame.

...


Then I have to add a couple of nasty verses about his inevitable comeuppance and the triumph of Clarity over evil...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 01:03 PM

My sins...yes...oh, the memories. I remember this one sin...I could have sworn the cop asked me if I knew how fast I was going...or making chlorine, nitrogen trioxide and hydrazine in the basement while doing a chemistry experiment...or the young lady...or the other young lady...or the bevy of young ladies at the party who...yes, my sins were very, very taxing indeed and the hangovers were the lest of the punishments doled out. Ah, the memories of a misspent youth! What pleasure they bring when we are older, and what a gas* teaching them to the young. I think I'll go sit in the porch swing and drink a little lemonade and reminisce on my sins and try to figure out a better way to do them when I'm reincarnated.




*See chemistry experiment, above.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 12:05 PM

It is not that you do not know your syntax, but that you ignore the tax of your sins.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 11:16 AM

Of COURSE I input the referants! Do you take me for some lazy slob who doesn't know his syntax from his sin tax?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 10:46 AM

You are simply out of your tree, sir; and your depth, at the same time. What contortions!!

You probably left all the referents out of the input, I expect, knowing full well that by adulterating context, you can alter the whole weight of a communication. This is not clever. It is, however, occasionally obnoxious.


A


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