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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 22 May 10 - 01:29 PM
Little Hawk 22 May 10 - 01:29 PM
Rapparee 22 May 10 - 01:26 PM
Little Hawk 22 May 10 - 01:00 PM
Rapparee 22 May 10 - 12:48 PM
Amos 22 May 10 - 12:29 PM
Acme 22 May 10 - 12:03 PM
Rapparee 22 May 10 - 11:06 AM
Little Hawk 22 May 10 - 12:56 AM
Rapparee 21 May 10 - 11:52 PM
Amos 21 May 10 - 11:49 PM
Rapparee 21 May 10 - 09:30 PM
Little Hawk 21 May 10 - 08:48 PM
Rapparee 21 May 10 - 07:28 PM
Amos 21 May 10 - 07:09 PM
Little Hawk 21 May 10 - 02:33 PM
Amos 21 May 10 - 02:27 PM
Little Hawk 21 May 10 - 02:20 PM
Rapparee 21 May 10 - 02:12 PM
Amos 21 May 10 - 02:07 PM
Little Hawk 21 May 10 - 01:50 PM
Rapparee 21 May 10 - 01:39 PM
Amos 21 May 10 - 12:59 PM
Little Hawk 21 May 10 - 12:11 PM
Amos 21 May 10 - 10:19 AM
Rapparee 21 May 10 - 09:59 AM
Janie 21 May 10 - 01:20 AM
Amos 20 May 10 - 08:38 PM
Rapparee 20 May 10 - 08:25 PM
Amos 20 May 10 - 07:26 PM
Rapparee 20 May 10 - 03:13 PM
Amos 20 May 10 - 02:20 PM
Amos 20 May 10 - 02:11 PM
Rapparee 20 May 10 - 12:36 PM
Rapparee 20 May 10 - 12:35 PM
Amos 20 May 10 - 11:53 AM
Acme 20 May 10 - 11:19 AM
Amos 20 May 10 - 10:37 AM
Rapparee 20 May 10 - 10:32 AM
Eiseley 19 May 10 - 11:28 PM
Rapparee 19 May 10 - 09:37 PM
Rapparee 19 May 10 - 08:56 PM
Amos 19 May 10 - 08:49 PM
Rapparee 19 May 10 - 08:40 PM
Amos 19 May 10 - 07:21 PM
Rapparee 19 May 10 - 06:15 PM
Rapparee 19 May 10 - 06:14 PM
Rapparee 19 May 10 - 06:13 PM
Amos 19 May 10 - 02:17 PM
Amos 19 May 10 - 12:07 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 10 - 01:29 PM

At 11:21 MDT on 5/21 it was 41F on my back porch and it is s*****g.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 May 10 - 01:29 PM

Oh dear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 10 - 01:26 PM

Il est passe, mon vieux. He was caught in the street with a hospital gown on backwards, running around and claiming he was a fire engine. When he pulled out his hose and put out a fire on the cop's leg he was hauled off and is now spending time (and electro-convulsive therapy) in the NYCFTTS. Sometimes he is hosed down with a cold-water hose, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 May 10 - 01:00 PM

Speaking of German, we haven't heard from Herr Doktor Liebenscheiss in some time. He can usually get to the heart of any matter and express it succinctly in a few well-chosen words of surpassing insight and brilliance. I wonder why he hasn't been around here lately?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 10 - 12:48 PM

Because Rapaire had for Many Years dealt with things like Incunabula and manuscripts and Still finds capitalization to be, as his predecessors did, something hit-or-Miss. Also, his Germanic Ancestry prompts him to capitalize Nouns, including Sauerstoff and Sauerkraut and Wehrmacht and Scheisskopf and Dachshund and Dumheit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 10 - 12:29 PM

Mite be. Mite not be.

Why does Rapaire fail to understand the difference between lower and upper case letters in rendering meaning? You would think after all these years in libraries he would have cottoned on...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 May 10 - 12:03 PM

Ah, Insults! Good, I haven't missed anything important.

MOM, I rescued a baby bird this morning, and shoved it back into the nest in the hole in the front of my house. It's covered with bird mites. Is my house full of mites now?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 10 - 11:06 AM

Yeah, but you said they had "family going back to Dingle." They wouldn't be the first to "reverse emigrate." They probably lived in the old castle, cleaning the garde robes and collecting the night soil for their sustenance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 May 10 - 12:56 AM

What I meant, Rapaire, is that some of Shane's ancestors came from Dingle (the one in Ireland). I think it was his great grandfather and a whole slew of other McBrides who migrated across to North America during the potatoe famine. Some of them eventually ended up in Blind River, Ontario, and the rest is history. Or it isn't. Depending on your viewpoint.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 10 - 11:52 PM

Perhaps, but I have eaten berries from Dingle and they were quite tasty. You posted the phrase "dingle berry" you know, not "dingleberry".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 May 10 - 11:49 PM

You are conflating two definitions. Look up the slang term dingleberry....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 10 - 09:30 PM

Their family is leaving Canada and going back to Dingle? Which one?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 May 10 - 08:48 PM

Yeah! Besides, Shane and Don have family going back to Dingle, so don't speak ill of the place, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 10 - 07:28 PM

You insulting Dingle, my wife's folks ancestral home? The one in Ireland, I mean, the one in Idaho is known mostly for its mud.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 May 10 - 07:09 PM

Aw, g'wan, dingle berry. Sure humans tend to sag down to the level of apes sometimes, but they have also continued pulling themselves up by the bootstraps to accomplish miracles of engineering, technological design, improved health, and interplanetary travel. The chimps of Chongo's generation are still thinking about what it might be like to ascend to so lofty a plane as a homo sapiens.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 May 10 - 02:33 PM

Chongo says that it won't be necessary for you to self-select out of the gene pool, Amos, because there are numerous others who are quite willing to do the job for you.

He's always been of the opinion that humans and apes evolved from completely separate lines, because he says there's no way any self-respecting ape would do the idiotic things people do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 May 10 - 02:27 PM

Whaaa, whaa, whaaa. Tell your simian bedmates they have a looooong way to go if they are serious about being recognized as a comparable species. For starters they could take lessons from the cetacean crowd. This would be an excellent porogram of species self-improvement. Many of them would self-select out of the gene pool in the effort, by drowning, and the rest might even learn something.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 May 10 - 02:20 PM

I would advise you not to leave any windows open, Amos. You may have gone just a bit too far with that last set of specist remarks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 10 - 02:12 PM

Learn to write. You cannot be "evolved" without being able to communicate with the future.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 May 10 - 02:07 PM

As their duly appointed representative, knuckle-dragger, I charge you to send them all this message.

1. Get a brain.

2. Evolve.

3. Learn speech.


If they will not do these things, they are doomed to continue to occupy the lower hierarchies of the food chain, and remain second-class organisms. They will have to get used to it if their inherent apathy defeats any effort toward species-wide improvement.






A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 May 10 - 01:50 PM

LOL!!! Ah-Ha! Ha! Ha! I love it when you talk like that, Amos. Believe me, sir, when I tell you that you are hated by chimpanzees across America. You are as the dirt beneath their knuckles. They hoot in derision at the mention of your name. They hurl offal in your general direction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 10 - 01:39 PM

Hey, you talkin' about me or my friend what's-his-name?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 May 10 - 12:59 PM

well-known characters in popular literary fiction

Sir, you are a worse scoundrel than you have ever admitted before; your effrontery in so demeaning a treasured, venerable, and esteemed category of creative effort is scurrilous, reprehensible, and disingenous.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 May 10 - 12:11 PM

Well, at least he doesn't launch scurrilous attacks on well-known characters in popular literary fiction and invent supposed longlost sisters with which to pester and harass them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 May 10 - 10:19 AM

Poor man; retirement has become a weary burden of honey-dews and can't-elopes.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 10 - 09:59 AM

Considering the work I did around the house yesterday I was indeed a "tail dragger." But better by far to be dragging your tail due to honest labor than to go to bed tired from throwing muck at honest working people...as some of those Southern Californian Tea Party Neocons I could name seem to do. Never mind, though. Come the Revolution we will no longer allow ourselves to be ground under the iron heel of the Bosses!

Vive la Revolucion! (The Revolution will NOT be telegraphed!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 May 10 - 01:20 AM

Now boys......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 May 10 - 08:38 PM

A weary beat of burden, a sopwit, and a Bactrian to boot, varlet. A Sopwit Camel. Fly thee away, dullwitted tail-dragger!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 10 - 08:25 PM

Flapwit! I have a Bachelor's Degree in English! How dare YOU trifle with ME? Continue such and I will insure that your genitive case rots and falls off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 May 10 - 07:26 PM

For a Manne of Booques you seem to lack an ear for grammar. The expression was "on this, our Mom..", a prepositional clause describing the object of the verb to bestow. And the statement is accurate as it does not say in which post this act of profound benificence occurred.

The second instance of "this" refers back to the substantive act described int he first sentence.

Wherefore dalliest thou with me, thou flap-eared sopwit?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 10 - 03:13 PM

...I have bestowed on this, our Mom, her thirty-five thousand and seven-hundredth post.

No, that was the 35,701st post, just as this is the 35,702nd post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 May 10 - 02:20 PM

In my gracious benevolence, I have bestowed on this, our Mom, her thirty-five thousand and seven-hundredth post. This I have humbly tendered as a gift to all who linger here.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 May 10 - 02:11 PM

Pish-tush, good man of Booques (ret.). Your restraint is noble enough, but the reasoning you attribute it to is malformed, being an unnecessary conclusion from a false premise.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 10 - 12:36 PM

And while I'm at it, why don't I...no, no, noblesse oblige.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 10 - 12:35 PM

IF you would take the time to look, Amos, you would find that I posted a translation of the immortal poem which was made by Hassad H. Dodgson, the uncle of Charles L. Dodgson.

Even when I correctly attribute works I am assailed from all sides! I think I shall do some harm to myself, such as cutting the hairs off of my face. Perhaps I shall even RIP a plant out of the ground and put it elsewhere, assuming the rain permits such. Why, oh why, dear Mother, am I so besieged?

Besides, you have small Latin and less Greek whereas I am conversant in the Classics, including those of Asia and Northern Europe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 May 10 - 11:53 AM

Being unable to read Latin is not dyslexia. It's being somewhere in the general vicinity of th epresent era. Rapaire can't read Latin either but he is easily amused by on-line translation software. Sic semper narcissi.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 May 10 - 11:19 AM

Thanks. My dyslexia is particularly challenged by some of these translations. So I don't fool with them. :)

Aww, look. The Amazon ad is offering DVDs of Marlene Dietrich in Lili Marlene and Kismet (the one with Ronald Coleman, not the later musical with Howard Keel, Ann Blythe, Vic Damone, etc., in the funniest and most politically INCORRECT film that could be found to view these days.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 May 10 - 10:37 AM

In case anyone is wondering, Rapaire has taken the trouble to turn Jabberwocky into a dead language!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 10 - 10:32 AM

Don't you mean "Ausgelöscht"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 19 May 10 - 11:28 PM

Ausgezeichnet, Buchmann!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 10 - 09:37 PM

Hora aderat briligi. Nunc et Slythia Tova
Plurima gyrabant gymbolitare vabo;
Et Borogovorum mimzebant undique formae,
Momiferique omnes exgrabuere Rathi.

"Cave, Gaberbocchum moneo tibi, nate, cavendum!
(Unguibus ille rapit. Dentibus ille necat.)
Et fuge Jubbubum, quo non infestior ales,
Et Bandersnatcham, quae fremit usque, cave."

Ille autem gladium vorpalem cepit, et hostem
Manxonium longa sedulitate petit;
Tum sub tumtummi requiescens arboris umbra
Stabat tranquillus, multa animo meditans.

Dum requiescebat meditans uffishia, monstrum
Praesens ecce! oculis cui fera flamma micat,
Ipse Gaberbocchus dumeta per horrida sifflans
Ibat, et horrendum burbuliabat iens!

Ter, quater, atque iterum cito vorpalissimus ensis
Snicsnaccans penitus viscera dissecuit.
Exanimum corpus linquens caput abstulit heros
Quocum galumphat multa, domumque redit.

"Tune Gaberbocchum potuisti, nate, necare?
Bemiscens puer! ad brachia nostra veni.
Oh! frabiusce dies! iterumque caloque calaque
Laetus eo" ut chortlet chortla superba senex.

Hora aderat briligi. Nunc et Slythia Tova
Plurima gyrabant gymbolitare vabo;
Et Borogovorum mimzebant undique formae,
Momiferique omnes exgrabuere Rathi.

                --Hassard H. Dodgson


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 10 - 08:56 PM

I just wanted to be certain that we were talking about the same exiled Roman poet and not something egg-shaped and misspelled.

                               --Ibid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 10 - 08:49 PM

Certes, and who other? Old Publius, a drinker and a cusser, and the authir if the long and delicate poem of cussing,   Ibis.

Now, as Battiades cursed his enemy Ibis,
IÕll curse you, and yours, in the same way.
And like him IÕve involved my poem with hidden matters:
IÕve followed him, though IÕm unused to this sort of thing.
Its convolutions are uttered in imitation of those
in Ibis, forgetful of my own custom and taste.
And since, when asked, IÕm not saying who you are, as yet,
you too, in the meantime, can take the name of Ibis:
and as my verse will reflect something of my nights,
so may the sequence of your days be wholly dark.
Have this read to you on your birthday, and at new
year, by anyone whose lips have no need for lies.
Gods of earth and sea, who maintain the good
between the disparate poles, where Jupiter rules,
I beg this of you: bend all your thoughts to this,
and let my wishes carry their weight with you:
and you earth itself, and the waves of ocean,
and the highest sky itself, approve my prayers:
and the stars, and that form clothed with rays of sunlight,
and you Moon, that never glittered brighter in your orbit,
and Night whom we revere for the beauty of your shadows:
and you who spin your fatal work with triple thumbs,
and you the stream of waters, not to be named in vain,
that glides with dread murmurs through infernal valleys,
and you with your hair bound by writhing snakes,
who sit before the shadowy doors of the prison:
you too, the lower powers, Fauns, Satyrs, Lares,
the rivers, and the nymphs and semi-divine races:
appear, at the last, in our presence, all you gods,
old and new, from out the ancient chaos,
while dread charms are sung by treacherous mouths,
and anger and grief act out their proper parts.
All, in order, show your assent to my desires,
and let there be no part of my prayer that fails.
And let it be fulfilled, I beg: so it may be thought
not my word, but a speech of the race of Pasiphae.
And IÕll have recounted these punishments, and heÕll
endure them, let his misery be greater for my skill!
And let the prayers of execration harm his false
name no less, nor the great gods be less inclined to stir:
I curse him as Ibis, whom the mind perceives,
who knows heÕs earned these curses by his deeds.
No delay is mine: I act as priest with sure prayer.
Whoever is at my rites, show favour to my words:
whoever is at my rites, speak your words of mourning,
and with wet cheeks begin your weeping for Ibis:
and run with every ill, and on stumbling feet,
and cloak all your bodies with black garments!


Ibid.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 10 - 08:40 PM

You mean, of course, P. Ovidius Naso, the author of (inter alii)

...Aestus erat, mediamque dies exegerat horam;
    adposui medio membra levanda toro.
pars adaperta fuit, pars altera clausa fenestrae;
    quale fere silvae lumen habere solent,
qualia sublucent fugiente crepuscula Phoebo,            
    aut ubi nox abiit, nec tamen orta dies.
illa verecundis lux est praebenda puellis,
    qua timidus latebras speret habere pudor.
ecce, Corinna venit, tunica velata recincta,
    candida dividua colla tegente coma?               
qualiter in thalamos famosa Semiramis isse
    dicitur, et multis Lais amata viris.


I assume?

                                    --Ibid., et al.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 10 - 07:21 PM

OVid.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 10 - 06:15 PM

Ibid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 10 - 06:14 PM

Sorry, but you got my Italics up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 10 - 06:13 PM

Learning what? Not to lie, cheat, and steal? I already knew that. I should warn you, though, that I have declared copyright on every story I've posted. Yes, yes, Amos, I know -- you'd say it was an accident, just a slip of the keyboard, and since God has forgiven you why can't I? That's the rationale of a filthy, immoral, plagiarizing, South Californian Neoconservative -- the sort of thinking that got Orange County into so much trouble a few years back and the Mayor of San Diego into hot water more recently.

Now I know that you're not the sort to suck up to the Governator, and I know that Mom raised you up better than that. And yet NOT ONCE have I seen you correctly attribute your postings even though they were taken word for word from some dictionary or other!!!! Don't call the kettle black when you should tend to your own petunias first!

                            --Most words taken from Webster's Third
                            International Dictionary
(passim.) and
                            other sources; credit will be given as
                            these are identified.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 10 - 02:17 PM

Rapaire:

It may comfort you to know that you are among some very high-class people when you exercise your perfidious obsession with lifting others' works uncredited. In an esdsay on Stephen Ambrose, renowned historian and plagiarist, the American Saint Garrison Keillor remarks:
Plagiarism is suicide. It stems from envy, I suppose, or in Ambrose's case, the rush to produce books in rapid succession, but no matter, it's a stain that peroxide won't lift out. All your hard work over a lifetime, blighted by the word "plagiarism" every time somebody writes about you. It's in the third or fourth graph of your obituary, a splotch on your escutcheon.

Here, dear reader, I must disclose that I have repeatedly lied about my closeness to General Eisenhower and have claimed more than once to have been his aide aboard the cruiser Memphis where he observed the D-Day landing from the porthole of his cabin where he was ensconced with Marlene Dietrich, sipping champagne, as I sat outside the door strumming "Lili Marlene" on a HarmonyTone F-4 mandolin.

Years later, an eagle-eyed reader blew the whistle, pointing out that HarmonyTone's F-4 mandolin was not manufactured until 1947. Also, that I was 2 years old at the time of D-Day. Also, that Marlene Dietrich was in Hawaii at the time, canoodling with John F. Kennedy.

Luckily for me, the exposé came out on the very day that President Nixon resigned, and so it got buried in the back pages, along with the embarrassing fact that my book, "Sailing With the General," contained large swatches (unattributed) of Tolstoy's "War and Peace." Thankfully, these embarrassing disclosures never got in the way of my friendship with President Eisenhower, and he and I golfed many, many rounds together, at Augusta and Burning Man and Plum Creek, with George S. Patton and Walter (Old Iron Pants) Cronkite, the memory of which the smell of plum blossoms brings back with startling clarity.


(NYT)

I just thought you'd enjoy reading and even, just possibly, learning from this little excerpt.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 10 - 12:07 PM

Two subjects in which he has been endowed with great expertise from the bottomless psychic well of his creator, no doubt.

A


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