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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 02 Dec 09 - 09:40 PM
Bobert 02 Dec 09 - 09:24 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 09 - 09:16 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Dec 09 - 09:05 PM
Janie 02 Dec 09 - 09:01 PM
Amos 02 Dec 09 - 08:42 PM
Janie 02 Dec 09 - 08:20 PM
Ed T 02 Dec 09 - 08:16 PM
Amos 02 Dec 09 - 05:50 PM
Little Hawk 02 Dec 09 - 05:18 PM
Amos 02 Dec 09 - 04:25 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 09 - 03:25 PM
Amos 02 Dec 09 - 03:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Dec 09 - 03:19 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 09 - 03:11 PM
Little Hawk 02 Dec 09 - 03:07 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Dec 09 - 02:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Dec 09 - 02:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Dec 09 - 02:26 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Dec 09 - 02:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Dec 09 - 02:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Dec 09 - 02:23 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Dec 09 - 02:21 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 09 - 02:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Dec 09 - 01:51 PM
Little Hawk 02 Dec 09 - 01:05 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 09 - 12:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Dec 09 - 11:46 AM
Acme 02 Dec 09 - 11:38 AM
Amos 02 Dec 09 - 11:17 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Dec 09 - 11:13 AM
Amos 02 Dec 09 - 10:48 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Dec 09 - 10:23 AM
Acme 02 Dec 09 - 10:22 AM
Rapparee 02 Dec 09 - 08:50 AM
Janie 02 Dec 09 - 06:34 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Dec 09 - 03:27 AM
Amos 02 Dec 09 - 02:25 AM
Little Hawk 02 Dec 09 - 01:43 AM
Amos 01 Dec 09 - 11:29 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 09 - 10:09 PM
Acme 01 Dec 09 - 10:00 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 09 - 09:07 PM
Ed T 01 Dec 09 - 08:19 PM
Ed T 01 Dec 09 - 08:10 PM
Amos 01 Dec 09 - 07:54 PM
Little Hawk 01 Dec 09 - 07:02 PM
Donuel 01 Dec 09 - 06:49 PM
Amos 01 Dec 09 - 06:09 PM
Ed T 01 Dec 09 - 06:00 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 09:40 PM

Well I tole ya that Bobert was a piece of work, and I am much happier being slapped around with his BS than with some bookmeister's desperate scramble for superiority by using Base 37 alphanumerics. I swan, Rapaire, just cuz you get so excited rubbing your brain cells together is no reason to go showing them to other folks, if you see what I mean.


Regards,

290548(base 30)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 09:24 PM

Well, sheet fire...

Here I come in an got this PM mean mouthin' me as this bigass bullshitter and never stickin' my head in this joint (cough) and the PM has this very retarded video of some very retarded puppets singin' about pot??? Like what's that all about???

I mean, ya'll know that I only come 'round this joint (cough) 'bout every 10 thousand posts 'er so and see if I can hit the big zeros but they rigged... Amos has some kinda ball game there and has it rigged so that only he can get the zeros...

(And you thought the puppets were retarded, Boberdz???)

So, I stick my head in here and it's 'bout the same as lst time and the time after that and after that one, too... Meanwhile, there's an all night "I Love Lucy" thing on Channel 397 fir those of you who get satilite TV but ya'll rather sit around with a bunch of stoned out puppets??? And you, LH, outta be ashamed of yerself... You could be out meditatin' on rocks and important stuff but no... You got hang out with the rest of these retards and these wacked out puppets??? Like what is that all about??? What, youy can't get Channel 397??? No, maybe you don't like Lucy??? That it??? Come on... Out with it... The truth will set you free... Heck, you got the hots fir Sarah Palin and even make up stories about havin' her cell phone but then a real hottie is on all night on Channel 397 and you and yer sidekick, Amos, hanging with the cotton an' button stoners...

Plus, their weed ain't even all that great... All that coughin' they're doing ain't 'cause it's good... It's 'cause someone came in an ' stole the bud and left the stems and seeds... So here ya'll are... Sittin' round smokin' stems 'n seeds with Howdy Doody and Clarabell and missing Lucy??? What is that all about??? Oh yeah, I know... You're just tryin' to get to 40K so I'll have somethin' to do with my life fir a day 'er two tryin' to hit the biggie... Well, forget it... I done hit the biggie allready... Me and the Wes Ginny Slide Rule turned this thread backwards... Ha!!! Don't mess with Texas... Next thing ya' know Khany Kandu will be back and Jimmy Carter will be president and it will be all ya'll's fault...

(Thems wouldn't be all that bad, Boberdz...)

Well, even a blind squirrel finds a nut now an' then... Okay, other than those tow possible positive outcomes of mounds of bullshit the rest of it don't compare to Lucy and Ethel...

Opps... Commercial is over...

See ya'll in the funny papers 'er when ya'll get that BS up into the high 39's... Know what I mean??? Good... We really don't have to have this talk again fir a while, do we???

BTW, Happy Columbus Day and don't forget...

...the earth ain't exactly round...

Bobert


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 09:16 PM

Amos, mon vieux. You'd best lay down for a while now. Take your meds like a good boy, okay?

Bobert has posted here on MOAB several times. Make a game of seeing if you can find them.

As for converting number in base 34 to base 10, it's quite simple. You could probably even do it, but it DOES involve mathematics and I don't want you to get a headache. Just know that I take a number in base 34 (say, the number AMOS) and convert it to decimal (419,316) just as you'd convert any number from one base to another.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 09:05 PM

I made the mistake earlier today of wasting a perfectly good post by making it to a BS thread started by a GUEST, a practice we all know is no longer allowed. That thread was deleted, and my post went with it. So, not being one to let sleeping dogs lie, I offer for your pleasure and amusement...

MOM's brain.

MOM's brain on drugs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 09:01 PM

LOL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 08:42 PM

In my post about why some puppets sing, and others do not, I am ashamed to discover I posted a bad link, a rare anomaly. In another astute observation, I remark that yon Bobert never comes down to the MOAB, even though he is one of the bullshittingest characters to ever grace the hallowed marble halls of Mudcat. I deduce from these simultaneous anomolies that it is only fit and meet for me to remedy my error.

Some Puppets Sing for Bobert


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 08:20 PM

Hurray! We DID NOT have turkey for supper tonight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 08:16 PM

"Jeez Arnie, this damn chef's hat is too tight and is makin' my brain hurt. No wonder this stuff we put in these cans tastes like crap!" - Hector Boiardi (yes, Chef Boy-R-Dee!!!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 05:50 PM

You are a scamp, Little Hawk. A prankster, a rapscallion, a reprobate, and a rogue. You are a tawdry scalawag, a scoundrel and a jejeune dybbuk. We who are about to have our heads fucked with salute you.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 05:18 PM

A great dramatic question, Amos! Here's another...

"Is nothing sacred!???"

And another...

"WHAT is the MEANING of this???!!!"

It helps if you get all red in the face and wave your arms around apoplectically when asking such questions. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 04:25 PM

What method are you using to assign numerical values to such ephemeral augustitude as Mom's? Surely not a simple A=1, Z=27 algorithm? Have you no decency?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 03:25 PM

Our own dear mother, MOAB, when converted from base 34, is 892783 in decimal.

This number, being holy, should be reserved for Khandu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 03:24 PM

Dang, BWL, that was a true feat of numerological legerdemain, no mistake. My hat is off to you!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 03:19 PM

Why, thank you, Little Hawk.

In case you're interested, the next really cool binary number to come along will be 1010101010101010, whose decimal equivalent is 43690. You can call dibbzies if ya want. I've had enough glory bestowed upon my humble self already.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 03:11 PM

Yes, but in hex it's only 63722. Of course, you can put it in other bases, for instance:

Base-14        A8630
Base-15        80A55
Base-16        63722
Base-17        4EF7A
Base-18        3FF38
Base-19        32768
Base-20        2AI6A
Base-21        21KDE
Base-22        1G5D0
Base-23        1AB00
Base-24        15B42
Base-25        111I5
Base-26        N4EE
Base-27        KIK8
Base-28        IFFE
Base-29        GK9P
Base-30        F2HK
Base-31        DKQL
Base-32        CDP2
Base-33        BB1B
Base-34        ACCA
Base-35        9HI0
Base-36        8QAQ

But the REALLY magical numbers, for instance, SHIT in base 34, becomes, in other bases, such numbers as

Base-2        100010001101000100101
Base-3        2002221110022
Base-4        10101220211
Base-5        241331210
Base-6        40004525
Base-7        12345440
Base-8        4215045
Base-9        2087408
Base-10 1120805

Aren't numbers fun?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 03:07 PM

You're losing it, man. I hope they have a nice comfy room ready for you at the NYCFTTS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 02:28 PM

And this is post #32768.

The binary equivalent of 32768 is 1000000000000000, another number unique in the annals of MOABdom. In fact, it is the bestest, most uniquest, big ol' damned number anybody's ever hit in the entire history of the Mudcat Cafe, and I lay claim to it as well!

If you are still applauding, grovelling, kowtowing, throwing money, or dancing naked on tabletops in my honor, you have my permission to continue. You may also chant "Bee-dubya is great!" if the mood strikes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 02:27 PM

This is post #32767.

The binary equivalent of 32767 is 111111111111111!

It is, therefore, a number unique in the annals of MOABdom and I, the MOAB village idiot, lay claim to it!

You have my permission to applaud, grovel, kowtow, throw money, and dance naked on tabletops in my honor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 02:26 PM

The next post!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 02:25 PM

Drum roll...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 02:24 PM

And the answer is that it's headed to...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 02:23 PM

Now, you're probably wondering where all this lame-assed talk about sitarists and satirists is heading...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 02:21 PM

Yes, it does, in a sense. It depends on whether the person doing the threatening viv-a-vis the git-tar is named Fred or Gladys. Gladys will threaten the guitarist with "gittin' th' tar beat out of ya" while Fred is more direct and will simply threaten to "beat shit out of ya with that fuckin' thing".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 02:02 PM

Oh. So it doesn't derive from "...GIT the TAR whupped outa ya!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 01:51 PM

No, Rapaire, a guitarist plays a guitar, known in some circles as a "git-tar". Beginning players often suffer from an affliction which requires them to play Deep Purple's "Smoke on the Water" ad nauseum. As a result, they are frequently advised to "Take that damned thang an' git out th' door with it! If I hear one more so-called 'note' from it I'm gonna break it over yore fuckin' head!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 01:05 PM

Aha! Rapaire, you said, and I quote: "If you buy it for me, I'll learn to play it. I have no shame."

And THAT is why he should come down there and visit you ASAP!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 12:57 PM

Does that also mean that gals can't play gui-tars?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 11:46 AM

If a satirist does play a satir, does he play it while satting? And since satting, being an illogical mix of present and past, is impossible in our 3D+time universe, does he have to play in some alternate universe where satting is a normal, everyday behavior?

Perhaps Gluon is a satirist.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 11:38 AM

Would an omniscient performer play a radar?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 11:17 AM

I thought satyrs were played by nymphs, no?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 11:13 AM

And does a satirist play a satir?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 10:48 AM

And if you play it prone, a Lidar?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 10:23 AM

I've noticed that the sitar is always played while sitting. So, if one were to play a sitar while standing, would it be called a "standar"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 10:22 AM

True, Janie. If more people took some time to BS during the day, the world would be a better place. Legislation is needed to make it so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 08:50 AM

If you buy it for me, I'll learn to play it. I have no shame: I'm a member of the Idaho Legion as well as a librarian. In fact, I was elected Legion Arkeyevest two weeks ago and now I have to bring order to the Legion's collection of records (45s, mostly, but some wax cylinders), minutes, books of pressed flowers and labels from gone-but-not-forgotten liquor bottles, taped reminiscences of old liars (some are even on recording tape!), Other Things Too Delicate Or Gross To Mention, and jars of smoke signals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 06:34 AM

Oh lordy, there ought to be a law.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 03:27 AM

You're all wrong. THIS is a catarrh. It's not actually made from a cat, but it does sound a bit like a cat whose tail has just been stepped on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 02:25 AM

No sorprise, no....why do you ask?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Dec 09 - 01:43 AM

Is it any surprise that Bangkok is the capital of the country with the largest per capita number of sex workers in the world?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 09 - 11:29 PM

Catarrh is a county in the emirate of Phoque, just west of Bangho and north of Bohdraine.
It is sometimes viewed as an economic competitor to Al-Kohr'din', which is a neighboring region, because it seems to draw on the same resources for its viability.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 09 - 10:09 PM

Ah! I knew it was somewhere around in that part of the world! East of Yesmen, I think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Dec 09 - 10:00 PM

It's directly south of Ague.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 09 - 09:07 PM

Isn't Cataar one of those Middle Eastern emirates? Somewhere near Dubee?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Dec 09 - 08:19 PM

"I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this."    ? Emo Phillips.

I promised that if you re-posted this statement then I'd comment, but I forget what I meant to say. Here are some email-things that I'm going to cleverly disguise as content: wHATEver. HTH. YMMV. ydcwtsbyaa-wam-ipysb! IMHO. grn. -Greg Plesur

Raise your hand if this sentence helps you to see the way that English looks to someone who doesn't speak it. -Greg Plesur

Spelling is hard because English is a slut of a language. I blame the Norman conquest. -Andrew Plotkin

If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong. Unknown

No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.
-- Scott Adams


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Dec 09 - 08:10 PM

"I am amazed, o wall, that you have not collapsed and fallen, since you must bear the tedious stupidities of so many scrawlers."    ? Graffiti on a wall of Pompeii.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 09 - 07:54 PM

Little Hawk:

We operate on a higher plane here. You know this. You mortal flesh may have been born of Mary but your True Mother is the Mother of All BS. And HER name thou hast scorned and besmirched.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Dec 09 - 07:02 PM

That's nothing, guys. Posting too much drivel on the Internet causes falling hair, obesity, incontinence, shingles, migraines, cataar, nasal distension, insomnia, tight ass, flabby ass, and smart ass, and that's just touching the tip of the iceberg!

You have been warned.

Rapaire, thanks for the video. Very nice.

Amos, what in the ever-lovin' world is your post of 01 Dec 09 - 12:32 PM alluding to when you say that I took my Mother's name in vain? I have done nothing of the sort. My Mother's name is Mary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Dec 09 - 06:49 PM

The shortest distance between two points is always correlation,

facts and causality be damned. (kinda sums up Sarah Palin and George Bush.)

The other shortest distance is a scientific discovery and its weaponized version by the military.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 09 - 06:09 PM

Like the relationship between being nuts and having imaginary playmates, the presentation of correlation is no sure evidence of causality. Certain uses of fire and metals occurred around the same time--perhaps lead poisoning, for example.

Stilly, cats would not put up with such uppity presumption from their servants, you know.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Dec 09 - 06:00 PM

SHOE HEELS CAUSE SCHIZOPHRENIA

Not only did shoemakers start a trend that led to generations of women being condemned to wearing high heels, they could also be responsible for the increasing number of cases of schizophrenia.

The theory is that heeled shoes may have led to the first cases of the disease and the establishment of the first mental hospitals.

Researcher Jarl Flensmark says that the schizophrenia only appeared after heeled shoes were introduced into a population.

The oldest heeled shoe known to man, made over 1,000 years ago, comes from Mesopotamia ? the same area where the first institutions dealing with mental disorders appeared.

As industrialisation of shoe production spread from NorthAmerica to Western Europe, there was a remarkable rise in cases of schizophrenia.

In England, the heeled shoe emerged at the start of the 17th century, and a large increase in the number of mental illness cases followed.

This is compared with Native Americans, who wear flat moccasins and have a relatively low frequency of schizophrenia.

The science? When we walk, the movement stimulates receptors in the lower extremities which increase activity in brain cells.

Wearing heeled shoes weakens the lengthening contractions in the lower leg and foot, so the receptors are stimulated less.

This drop in stimulation leads to changes in the dopamine system in the brain.

This tallies with the knowledge that schizophrenics' brains produce more dopamine.


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