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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 08 Aug 08 - 03:51 PM
Little Hawk 08 Aug 08 - 04:42 PM
Acme 08 Aug 08 - 09:29 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 08 - 12:22 AM
Acme 09 Aug 08 - 01:29 AM
Acme 09 Aug 08 - 01:52 AM
Acme 09 Aug 08 - 02:11 AM
Little Hawk 09 Aug 08 - 08:43 AM
Acme 09 Aug 08 - 09:35 AM
Amos 09 Aug 08 - 10:03 AM
Rapparee 09 Aug 08 - 11:05 AM
Acme 09 Aug 08 - 09:04 PM
Amos 09 Aug 08 - 11:47 PM
Acme 10 Aug 08 - 12:03 AM
Amos 10 Aug 08 - 08:34 AM
Acme 10 Aug 08 - 12:30 PM
Amos 10 Aug 08 - 12:59 PM
Rapparee 10 Aug 08 - 07:36 PM
Rapparee 10 Aug 08 - 08:40 PM
Amos 10 Aug 08 - 11:15 PM
Acme 11 Aug 08 - 01:56 AM
Rapparee 11 Aug 08 - 09:02 AM
Amos 11 Aug 08 - 09:18 AM
Rapparee 11 Aug 08 - 09:38 AM
Acme 11 Aug 08 - 09:56 AM
Amos 11 Aug 08 - 11:02 AM
Acme 11 Aug 08 - 12:13 PM
Little Hawk 11 Aug 08 - 12:36 PM
Amos 11 Aug 08 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 11 Aug 08 - 01:10 PM
Little Hawk 11 Aug 08 - 02:18 PM
Acme 11 Aug 08 - 03:51 PM
Little Hawk 11 Aug 08 - 04:33 PM
Rapparee 11 Aug 08 - 07:16 PM
Amos 11 Aug 08 - 08:24 PM
Amos 11 Aug 08 - 08:37 PM
Acme 11 Aug 08 - 09:19 PM
Rapparee 11 Aug 08 - 09:24 PM
Amos 11 Aug 08 - 10:56 PM
Little Hawk 11 Aug 08 - 10:59 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 08 - 09:59 AM
Rapparee 12 Aug 08 - 10:17 AM
Rapparee 12 Aug 08 - 07:03 PM
Donuel 12 Aug 08 - 09:45 PM
Donuel 12 Aug 08 - 09:47 PM
Amos 12 Aug 08 - 09:50 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 08 - 10:06 PM
Amos 12 Aug 08 - 10:11 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 08 - 10:14 PM
Acme 12 Aug 08 - 10:58 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Aug 08 - 03:51 PM

It saddens me to thing that the exalted 24K and 800 was gained by an interloper dropping off a drive-by criticism.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Aug 08 - 04:42 PM

Huh? You mean, BB? Oh, give the man his 5 seconds of fame, Amos... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Aug 08 - 09:29 PM

Friday, at last!

Here, MOM, let me get you a refill of that ice tea. And have some of my baba ganoush and pita bread for a snack, this batch came out great!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 12:22 AM

Well, Mother Dear, the PNLA Conference is over for another year and tomorrow we will begin our journey home. We're going by way of McCall, so we won't be there until Sunday evening. You may or may not hear from me tomorrow and Sunday, Mater, but you know that whatever happens you'll be in my heart.

Your Most Favored Child,
R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 01:29 AM

I've been camping in McCall--beautiful area. I got great photos of the kids around the tent. I have one on the wall next to my computer at work.

Huge mosquitoes.

We camped fairly near the state park bathrooms because the kids were still small and we each had to make a middle-of-the-night trip to the john. Now they know they can just pee outside the tent if that's all they have to do. :-)

I hope the auction items you contributed were useful to the organization?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 01:52 AM

I don't remember how I got here--I was looking at a different subject entirely, but was backtracking the source of a photo. I stumbled upon this. Ouch. I have no idea what contributed to this situtation. But anyway, ouch.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 02:11 AM

Hmmm. It's still an "ouch."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 08:43 AM

That is pretty horrifying, I must say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 09:35 AM

Do you suppose that is a male version of "camel toes?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 10:03 AM

It seems odd he can stand there looking so abstracted and thoughtful. I could not.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 11:05 AM

Extreme pain can do that sort of thing to you, Amos. I wonder about the wedgie he must also have...and why he doesn't buy a suit that fits.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 09:04 PM

It's hot here again. Anyone else want to go out for some ice cream?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 11:47 PM

Yes ma'a'm!!


Count me in.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 12:03 AM

I have some freezer-section ice cream cones. Do you want one with nuts, or without? (The ice cream, not you, or that guy down below. . .)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 08:34 AM

With, please.

It is predawn Sunday as I write. I am about to go back to the shore with my sea kayak,


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 12:30 PM

Nice! I should get a rubber raft for navigating my backyard creek.

I've done an application of garlic pepper tea mixed with a little compost tea and orange oil to knock out some of the spider mites taking over the garden. It smells rather like salad dressing when you apply it. Always wait to take your morning shower until AFTER you do this work. I knocked off two tobacco horn worms this morning (they do a great job of assuming the exact color of the plant they're munching). scroll down about 1/4 from the top of the page and you'll see my critter. (I didn't link directly to it because you might find the other caterpillars interesting also). I did a little more research. This could also be a tomato hornworm (I didn't look at the white lines to distinguish it) but it seems this becomes the sphinx moth that pollinates the datura and I have a huge datura next to the tomato. Whoa! Who knew?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 12:59 PM

UNder the tall bluffs that tower over the sea-caves on the north shoreline of La Jolla, there are wide, flat surfaces worn in the sea-rock, where the sea-lions and harbor seals gather to complain about their lives, or have bark-and-glare contests, or see who's best at neck-wrestling. Further up from the water are rough indentations formed in the ancient sandstone which are perfect for rookeries, where the gulls and pelicans have their meetings.
The Pacific swell comes in across thousands of miles, but today it is low and gentle enough, rising and falling like the breath of a sleeping woman and sending blue water into green light and pushing into foamy breakers which explore the caves and deep grooves in the sandstone cliffs. From up close, you cannot see the tops of the cliffs, and it is perfectly easy to forget the extra-fine homes and paved paths and roads just past the brow. From here, rising and falling with the Pacific swell, all you see it the way it was.

One seal among the group lolling and splashing along the shoreline is a weisenheimer seal. He dives off the rock tanning platform, and then cuts alonng just underwater with one arm-like fin raised up sticking out of the water in a dark curved silhouette. You can almost hear him yelling to his pals on the rocks, "Hey, dude!! Lookit me!! I'm a SHARK!!! Da-da-da-da!!!".

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 07:36 PM

I'm home, Mom. Amos and his sea kayaking...phooey! Lemme tell ya about the REAL kayaking they do here in Idaho.

On the Payette River there's a few stretches that'll stretch Amos. The Indians knew them as B'dwatr, Ho Oleech'it, and Awf Uknoooo. They are known to kayakers today by the same names. Or try the Salmon -- pick any fork, South, North, Middle, or Salad.

Sea kayaking. Hmmph. Wimps, the lot of 'em. Now, if Amos was hunting those seals, say with a harpoon....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 08:40 PM

Oh! Oh! I have an even BETTER idea. Since Amos likes sea kayaking and I have an employee who needs to get to Kodiak, Alaska, how about if she meets him in Homer and he paddles her out? The Aleut do it all the time, so Amos should be able to do it too! Sure, she has to be there for meeting of the Alaska Library Association and that's next February, but heck, if anyone can take a kayak through forty foot seas it'd be Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 11:15 PM

Of course I could.

But I doubt she or you would want to meet my fees.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 01:56 AM

Wait till it's covered with ice and drag the kayak. You won't get seasick then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 09:02 AM

'Tain't my problem, Amos. I figgered you'd donate the trip to the Pacific NW Library Association, who would otherwise have to shell out for the airfare. But, oh well, I guess you're the miserly kind who doesn't like to donate time or money to a worthy cause. But that's alright, libraries are used to that sort of thing. PNLA will probably go broke and it will be your fault, but that's okay. I guess it was to be expected. California was, after all, the breeding ground of Proposition 13 and were public libraries had to close due to lack of funding, denying the poor information, entertainment and educational opportunities.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 09:18 AM

Well, I don't mind donating things to a worthy cause. You're all wrong there. But I like setting my own terms, is all. Lessee...how about I give y'all my brown bathrobe?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 09:38 AM

Is that the one you wore to the playgrounds? Or the one with the grass stains, blood stains, and bullet holes in it? Or is it, perchance, the one you got from OJ's yard sale?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 09:56 AM

No, it's the one he stole from the Playboy Mansion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 11:02 AM

Provenance is not usually important in the bathrobe world, and you're just going to have to take my word for it that it has clear title.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 12:13 PM

Au contraire! I think a bathrobe offered on eBay as one ripped off from the Playboy Mansion will bring in a lot more than the ratty old terry cloth garb from inside Amos' closet door.

IMHO


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 12:36 PM

To hell with Amos's ratty old bathrobe. Who wants that? It's Winona's bathrobe that I have a hankering for.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 12:48 PM

Ah, I can see it now. A flimsy chignon affair with ruffles at the necklilne, and ancient sweat-stains under the arm-holes, discreetly hidden in Little Hawk's desk drawer so he can take it out and sniff it during his long lonely watches of the night patrolling eBay.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 01:10 PM

No, Amos...wear it. LH has a Secret, you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 02:18 PM

LOL!

My lips are sealed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 03:51 PM

I can see it now. LH parading around his apartment, negligee billowing out and a dachshund under each arm (like Paris and her chihuahua, only longer).

Eewwww.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 04:33 PM

Some have claimed that the dachshund is a canine phallic symbol.

I regard that as a gross libel on a distinguished breed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 07:16 PM

Hardly. Perhaps a symbol, but not a phallic one. As short as their legs are their "phallic symbol" is sanded off as they walk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 08:24 PM

Dachshunds can't be symbols of the phallos, because they are entirely too meretricious, flippant and frivolous to represent anything so serious. It would be like sending Bozo the Clown to the United States Congress.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 08:37 PM

I am sure Little Hawk will agree, if he is honest with himself, that dachshunds are fiddle-faddle, an indulgence in frippery, a froth of frivolity, an animalesque minutia, a nuage of nonsense, a chokery of small change, a pungent poke of small potatoes, a truculent trio of trifles, and a tenuous triviality at best.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 09:19 PM

Bozo the Clown to the United States Congress

No need to insult clowns, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 09:24 PM

I thought it was kinda redundant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 10:56 PM

Oh, you woeful, jaded, world-bitten, life-burnt cynics. What cool breeze do you seek to reinvigorate your poor, charred, overdone souls?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 10:59 PM

"It would be like sending Bozo the Clown to the United States Congress"

Hasn't that already been done on a significant number of occasions? And who do we find in the White House, I ask you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 09:59 AM

Geedub, the clown. Bozo was too smart to run for THAT office. So were Bonzo, Boffo, Bingles, and Clarabelle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 10:17 AM

Cool Breeze:

2 shots cheap vodka, 2 shots 151 proof rum, crushed ice, splash of grenadine, kerosene to fill the glass. Serve flambe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 07:03 PM

MOM! Consorting with low life! Oh, the shame of it!


Must be Amos's influence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 09:45 PM

Ah yes, I have just solved another mystery of the Universe....

They say 92% of the Universe is missing so they desperately called the missing portion dark matter. There is no such thing as dark matter.

Using Occam's Razor I simply put everything that is actually missing and came up with 90% of the missing matter.

Things that are missing accumulate over time so you shouldn't be surprised how many socks alone accumulate over 12 billion years.
There are a bunk of keys and huge piles of cash.
SInce the missing matter occurs over time it is expanding and casuing and accerated expansion of the universe.

Other missing things are:
the actual decisions you should have made
George W's early school, criminal justice and military records
The one year of tax records that you were asked to produce.
Credit for your best work.
Corporate respondsibility to one's country.
All the kids on milk cartons
Love that the church claims to promote.
homework
the memory stick of this week's work

etc ad infinitum!

The 2% still missing is either at the Pentagon or Bush's Swiss Bank account where the Saddam money now resides.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 09:47 PM

Dachshunds can't be trusted to know anything.

They can't even properly sniff a crotch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 09:50 PM

I doubt there is such a talent as "properly sniffing a crotch". Another one of the Great Missing Things of Existence, a list for which I am indebted to Donuel for starting.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 10:06 PM

My boyish grin and youthful innocence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 10:11 PM

Which raises an interesting subcategory: Things We Pretend Exist Which Are Not There.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 10:14 PM

Oh, I know where I left them, but I don't really want to go back to the Infantry to collect them. Once was plenty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 10:58 PM

I doubt there is such a talent as "properly sniffing a crotch".

Oh yes there is! But my crotch pooch is at the vet this week, being treated for heartworms (Sob! Annoying as she is, we miss her!) so she'll have to be more sedate about the nose lunge into the crotch for the next month. She's not supposed to get too worked up.

She's a hyperactive airhead, so this will be a challenge. And her walks to pee are all supposed to be accompanied on a leash.


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