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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Janie 12 Sep 09 - 09:21 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 09 - 08:57 PM
Amos 12 Sep 09 - 06:58 PM
Amos 12 Sep 09 - 05:06 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 09 - 04:15 PM
Amos 12 Sep 09 - 03:56 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 09 - 03:51 PM
Acme 12 Sep 09 - 03:36 PM
Amos 12 Sep 09 - 01:49 PM
Amos 12 Sep 09 - 01:05 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 12 Sep 09 - 01:03 PM
Amos 12 Sep 09 - 12:10 PM
Acme 12 Sep 09 - 11:26 AM
Rapparee 12 Sep 09 - 11:06 AM
Rapparee 12 Sep 09 - 10:46 AM
Rapparee 11 Sep 09 - 11:40 PM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 09 - 09:48 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 09 - 02:40 PM
Amos 11 Sep 09 - 02:31 PM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 09 - 02:28 PM
Amos 11 Sep 09 - 02:13 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 09 - 01:23 PM
Amos 11 Sep 09 - 12:40 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Sep 09 - 11:52 AM
Amos 11 Sep 09 - 11:49 AM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 09 - 11:10 AM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 09 - 11:08 AM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 09 - 10:59 AM
Amos 11 Sep 09 - 10:58 AM
Acme 11 Sep 09 - 10:39 AM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 09 - 10:25 AM
Rapparee 11 Sep 09 - 08:40 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Sep 09 - 11:41 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 09 - 05:07 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 09 - 04:45 PM
Amos 10 Sep 09 - 04:44 PM
Amos 10 Sep 09 - 04:36 PM
Acme 10 Sep 09 - 04:27 PM
Amos 10 Sep 09 - 04:00 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 09 - 02:50 PM
Amos 10 Sep 09 - 02:12 PM
Amos 10 Sep 09 - 01:07 PM
MMario 10 Sep 09 - 01:00 PM
Amos 10 Sep 09 - 12:30 PM
Little Hawk 10 Sep 09 - 11:17 AM
Rapparee 10 Sep 09 - 11:16 AM
Rapparee 10 Sep 09 - 10:56 AM
Little Hawk 10 Sep 09 - 10:37 AM
Rapparee 10 Sep 09 - 08:51 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Sep 09 - 10:40 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 09:21 PM

I swan, compared to you old fogies and farts, Stilly and I are but nubile young lassies, with a pesky younger brother, Mmario.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 08:57 PM

If, indeed, you were born on September 12, then I am at least seven (7) months older than you are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 06:58 PM

He was prolly born last week, is what it is. I know his clever tongued evasions.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 05:06 PM

Well it stands to reason, then, that you must be either 64+, or 73, or 82. I am sure you are not 91.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 04:15 PM

Baby. Child. Infant. I'm older than you are, so there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 03:56 PM

So, your 37, now? My years old does too, but it starts with 6, so you do the math!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 03:51 PM

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM! Amos is picking on me 'cause my years old adds up to ten!!!!

Ground him, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 03:36 PM

Dunno. Are you? If you're cute as Sir Paul, you're fine!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 01:49 PM

When I get old and start losing my flair
(A time that is here now),
Will you still forgive me if my thumbs are fat,
"Teh" and "adn" and typos like that?

Will Mom allow me, aged and dry,
To hang around the door?
Will she still please me, humor and tease me,
When I'm sixty-four?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 01:05 PM

Well, it's an old photo, gimme a break.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 01:03 PM

Amos, you know I wear glasses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 12:10 PM

Who REALLY runs that Idaho library thing is now completely clear.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 11:26 AM

Whoa! I found MOM's favorite wacky web site and have parked it on the photo she was chuckling over last night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 11:06 AM

Sorry, that should be the U. S. Army Marksmanship UNIT (USAMU), not "Group."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 10:46 AM

You see, Canadians have a rather odd view of how a weapon should work, as this picture of the Canadian-designed Macbride Mk VII assault rifle demonstrates. Firing the rather unusual 9 x 9mm Quebecois cube-shaped cartridge, it was for several weeks the standard firearm of the CDF's elite "Moose Jaw Rangers" (officially Commando Especialo Numero Alpha) and was later issued to all CDF personnel who weren't already armed with a Ross Rifle. Tens of these were issued and they proved their worth in offices and latrines throughout Canada ("I likes it cuz the paper roll don't slide off inta the mud" was a comment from a satisfied user).

Today, cooperation with Our Northern Neighbor continues. Canadian officers and NCOs train with the elite United States Army Marksmanship Group (USAMG), where they clean weapons, pick up the fired cartridge cases, clean the "Gents" and the "Ladies", polish boots, and, eventually, are taught to shoot* by some of the world's best markspeople. Because they then bring back what they have learned and use it to teach others in the CDF, Canadians have some of the shinest boots in North America.










*This is mandated by the Canadian Ministry of Defence, who wish to discourage violence in the military. "It's just not, not, NICE, not Canadian," the Minister said recently.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 11:40 PM

Wrong. Once they've been properly trained by US shooters they do just fine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 09:48 PM

You sayin' Canadians can't shoot straight? Huh? Is that what you're sayin'?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 02:40 PM

I hang on your every word, said the convicted killer to the judge.

No, of course not. I have to clean it and put the sights and things on. This is an Army surplus, but new in the box, .22 single shot target rifle. Not one of those full auto .50 things they use in Canada to hunt bunny rabbits and/or spray the woods and fields with lead. This is a precision tool, with a sight capable of moving the strike of the bullet 1/5 inch at 100 yards. This is rifle is capable of putting one bullet into the hole made by the previous one. I'm not, but the rifle is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 02:31 PM

Little Hawk, you are bullshitting me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 02:28 PM

Cool, Rapaire! Have you tried it out yet? I waste no time when it comes to trying out new firearms, and I bet you're the same.

As for Shane, I'm sure he'd love to visit you, but he's short of cash for traveling at the moment and his various papers aren't up to date, so he might have some trouble at the border crossing. It's kind of hard dealing with border officials when you've got a record showing 50 or more arrests and incarcerations.

Could you send maybe $500 to Shane to help out?

Shane McBride
General Delivery
Blind River, Ontario, Canada

That would be a good start, eh?

That reminds me, I gotta send that maple sugar. Geez! Too much stuff on my plate here...

Amos - Great stuff! Tell me more. I hang on your every word. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 02:13 PM

I am sure, with his new rifle, Rapaire is feeling oofee-er than ever!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 01:23 PM

My new rifle came about an hour ago!

Neat-o, huh? I'm waiting for Shame to come visiting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 12:40 PM

Ah, no, good Badubb--it has nothing to do with the words. It is for Mom. I long to see EVERY BS CONCEPT imaginable someday find a home within her welcoming bower. This of course entails a lot of vocabulary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 11:52 AM

Perhaps Amos's goal is to see that all words appearing in most modern collegiate dictionaries appear here on the MOAB at least once.

Has he yet mentioned "ablution"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 11:49 AM

Little Hawk:

The art of Advanced Knowledge Management is in focusing at least 51% of the available attention to intersect with at least 51% of the information that has a relative truth value of more than .7 (where 1 = complete certainty).

If you have ever tried to manage knowledge (as a teacher or librarian does every day) this principle is self-evident. You need to get available attention and delicately or not get it applied to information that has a positive truth value. That truth value of course depends on your methods of evaluating truth, hence the certainty factor.

Unfortunately this effort is rendered doubly complex, at least, by the plasticity of viewpoints which traverse the multiverse, such as Rapaire's, and which are notorious for high indices of plasticity in the framing of certainty equations. This makes for artificial certainties in regions of heuristically abysmal truth value (cf. Little Hawk).

Here again the truism is self evident once understood. All it says is that some people have very sloppy ways of defining certainty and relative truth, and will assign validity to almost any old thing. For example, Rapaire invokes scientific formulas of no relevance to support outlandish assertions, hoping no-one will look them up. Your own method of this offense is more Disneyoid.

IF you have further questionsd about this, why not rely on Rapaire to explain them to you? I am sure he can relate them to Carnot's theorem of reversible engines. The following may help him bridge these apparently disparate spheres:

For 1 kmole:
Q41=Cv(T4-T1)
Q32=Cv(T3-T2)
For the 2 adiabatic processes:
T2V2
( -1)=T1V1
( -1)
T3V2
( -1)=T4V1
( -1)
It follows that:
N=1-(T4-T1)/(T3-T2)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 11:10 AM

"coffee" shops, that is... (snort!)

"ooffee" shops would be more like Chinga's place, I think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 11:08 AM

That was a reply to Stilly.

As for you, Amos, my friend, you are a sad victim of the advanced symptoms of terminal California drivel-speak, the objective of which is to bury the listener under a veritable barrage of pretentious words like "heuristic", "jejeune", "frisson", and so on...not in order to actually say anything, mind you, but merely to sound as if one is saying something...something truly weighty and meaningful and significant...something that reminds the listener that he is in the presence of greater knowledge and urbanity than his own and that he would do best to merely sit with his jaw slightly open reveling in the joy of hearing the final truth on the matter, whatever the matter is or purports to be.

Utter and complete blathertwaddle in other words. ;-) It's one of the things I love in you, because you are so good at it. If I come out to California, I expect you to coach me in that technique so that I can go to the L.A. and San Francisco and San Diego Starbucks ooffee shops and wow the other patrons into awed silence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 10:59 AM

WHOA!!! Are you sure?

(I can't help but think about how a walk in those particular conditions would affect her nipples....yikes!)

Sorry. It just came to my mind for some reason.

She has always taken an almost motherly (or sisterly?) interest in Shane for some reason, and it indicates her very altruistic nature. I can see her maybe doing a fundraiser to educate the lad and rescue him from his jailbound lifestyle, but I thought she was still a bit pissed over the scene he made at the Mariposa Festival this summer.

I guess maybe she's the forgiving kind, eh? If Shane would just get his life together and marry her it could turn his whole life around. Soon he would be exchanging polite letters with Rapaire about guns and martial combat, visiting the library to do genuine research on important social causes, and engaging in witty intellectual banter with Amos...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 10:58 AM

Unfortunately, Little Hawk, that post was completely precisely accurate, and your inability to assimilate it is a reflection not on its truth value but on a certain resistance in the eye of the beholder.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 10:39 AM

Forget Chinga, I just saw in an Internet report that Officer Dana is posing nude for a calendar. Something about crossing from Kiska to Sitka in February (walking across the ice, of course) without a wet suit. Have you heard anything about this, LH? Is she trying to raise funds for a new squad car? Or build a bigger jail to hold Shane?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 10:25 AM

Amos, I have spent many hours poring over these 2 sentences you wrote in an earlier post on this thread:

Amos - "Unfortunately this effort is rendered doubly complex, at least, by the plasticity of viewpoints which traverse the multiverse, such as Rapaire's, and which are notorious for high indices of plasticity in the framing of certainty equations. This makes for artificial certainties in regions of heuristically abysmal truth value..."

Ummmm...yeah. Riiiiiight.

You know what I think? I think you had better stop drinking whatever they serve at Chinga's establishment, because it has had a very deleterious effect on your grasp of reality. In short, my friend, your mind is fucked! ;-) Get professional help now before it is too late. Call up Woody Allen cos he knows some really good headshrinkers and can probably steer you in the right direction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 08:40 AM

Crickets, in additional to being good fish bait, are good people food -- just scroll on down for pictures of what could be YOUR last meal. Crickets have that crunchy-on-the-outside-chewy-on-the-inside texture people love, whereas deep-fried maggots can be popped right into your mouth and, like popcorn shrimp, are hardly noticeable and you could eat them all night while you watch football on TV.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 11:41 PM

Them Cricket Spitters

How 'bout them cricket spitters?
Ain't they dips?
Spittin' them crickets right outta they lips!
Spit 'em to the north,
And spit 'em to the south,
Spittin' them crickets right outta they mouths!
Lookit then spitters with crickets in they jaw,
Spittin' them bugs like they wuz wads of chaw!
How to spit a cricket?
It's easy, I'll admit it,
Just get yerself a cricket, pop it in yer mouth and spit it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 05:07 PM

I'd be even more impressed with someone who swam from Attu or Kiska to Sitka, especially in January or February.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 04:45 PM

How about a contest singing with your mouth full of crickets?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 04:44 PM

"As feats of endurance go, Claudia Rose's recent swim across Alaska's Sitka Sound is pretty remarkable.

The distance from Kruzof Island to Sitka is only eight miles, but there were strong currents and swarms of stinging jellyfish. The water temperature was only 54 degrees -- and Rose did not wear a wetsuit.

The 45-year-old from San Diego required 4 hours, 36 minutes to complete the feat and is believed to be the first person to swim across the sound, wetsuit or no wetsuit.

"I'm much more interested in things people haven't done," Rose says in story posted on the website of the Anchorage Daily News.

A former triathlete, Rose took up swimming because of medical issues that left her unable to run for long periods. Among her other accomplishments is a 21-mile crossing from Santa Catalina Island to Los Angeles in 2006."

We train them tough down at La Jolla Shores, believe you me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 04:36 PM

Rapaire, BTW, thanks SO much for your imaginative contribution to the Getaway program planning.

But forget it!! I ain't spiuttin' no crickets at the Getaway!! And that's final.

OR as the man said when he slid down the banister blindfolded, "Ouch! That's finial!"



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 04:27 PM

The other way and it's a cock up?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 04:00 PM

Well as they said when they buried the guy face-down, that's a crack up.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 02:50 PM

Funny you should mention mortuary science. My great-uncle was a cemetery sexton, my brother and I used to set tombstones, and the same brother worked for a while as grave digger. In my last Army assignment I had a graves registration unit attached to my platoon.

As a result, I know a few jokes about the subject.

Like the guy who ordered a gravestone for his wife's birthday with the epitaph "Still frigid" on it it. A month or so later she ordered one for his birthday with the epitaph "Finally stiff."

Ah well. Those were the days...when the customers kept their mouths shut and never complained.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 02:12 PM

Today's birthday (Sept. 10): Your quest for beauty continues. Your inner life will mirror an external transformation. There's a favorable shift in your personal life in the next six weeks. In October, you'll be working to create an environment that's as inspiring as it is tranquil. December brings new friends who give you the keys to their world. Aries and Scorpio people adore you. Your lucky numbers are 6, 12, 45, 31 and 40.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 01:07 PM

I can tell you this much from hard experience, son: if you do get cornered by one of those back stroking shrimps, keep your wits about you. They'll lull you into near ecstasy stroking your back and then put in the fix for all they're worth. Which, being shrimps, ain't much. But still.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 01:00 PM

Funny you should mention the heuristic abyss. My parents and I were watching a special on this very geographical feature on the NatGeo channel over the weeend.

Amazing the things they have discovered with remote control vehicles. The lava vent in the shape of shatners kidney stone, the tube worms, the glow in the dark back-stroking shrimps.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 12:30 PM

As Rapaire makes impeccably clear in his recent dissertations confusing ethno-musicology with sub-atomic particle physics and mortuary science, there is an infinite array of wrong information in the multiverse. The art of Advanced Knowledge Management is in focusing at least 51% of the available attention to intersect with at least 51% of the information that has a relative truth value of more than .7 (where 1 = complete certainty).

Unfortunately this effort is rendered doubly complex, at least, by the plasticity of viewpoints which traverse the multiverse, such as Rapaire's, and which are notorious for high indices of plasticity in the framing of certainty equations. This makes for artificial certainties in regions of heuristically abysmal truth value (cf. Little Hawk).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 11:17 AM

I gahter that there's a good deal you don't know... (grin)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 11:16 AM

Amos, et al.:

I can't get to Getaway again this year, but here's something to add to the fun:

MARSHFIELD, Wis. (AP) -- When it comes to spitting a cricket for distance, the central Wisconsin talent seems concentrated in one Marshfield family. Brian Johnsrud spat a thawed cricket 22 feet, 8 inches at the Central Wisconsin State Fair on Saturday. Minutes later, his son Jared shot his cricket 10 feet, 5 inches to win the 9-to-11 age division.

Brian Johnsrud said the key is to pick the biggest cricket and put it upside down on your tongue. He also said you have to take the deep breath before putting the cricket in your mouth, so you don't swallow the critter.

Daniel Word, 7, won the competition among 5- to 8-year-olds. After spitting his cricket 9 feet, 11 inches, he said it wasn't easy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 10:56 AM

I didn't know Francis taught at McGill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 10:37 AM

I believe Shatner learned acting at McGill University in Canada, didn't he? His drama teacher would thus be the one to take the blame...or receive the plaudits. William Shatner debuted in Shakespearian acting, and that may explain his rather dramatic flair and general approach to the craft.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 08:51 AM

Dang, and here I thought all along it was Francis the Talking Mule -- he taught Mr. Ed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Sep 09 - 10:40 PM

Shatner is not the basis of all acting. He's close, but not quite it. To find the true basis of all acting, one must go a step further and seek out Shatner's teacher. He who taught Shatner is the true basis of all acting.



Mister Ed is the basis of all acting.


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