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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,William Shatner 01 May 04 - 05:47 PM
42 01 May 04 - 07:19 PM
Little Hawk 01 May 04 - 07:21 PM
freda underhill 01 May 04 - 08:20 PM
Little Hawk 01 May 04 - 08:22 PM
Little Hawk 01 May 04 - 08:23 PM
Amos 01 May 04 - 09:49 PM
Little Hawk 01 May 04 - 10:53 PM
CarolC 01 May 04 - 11:02 PM
Amos 02 May 04 - 12:52 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 May 04 - 12:40 PM
Amos 02 May 04 - 12:42 PM
Little Hawk 02 May 04 - 12:59 PM
Rapparee 02 May 04 - 02:03 PM
Amos 02 May 04 - 02:09 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 May 04 - 02:36 PM
Rapparee 02 May 04 - 09:18 PM
Amos 02 May 04 - 10:29 PM
CarolC 02 May 04 - 10:33 PM
Amos 02 May 04 - 10:51 PM
CarolC 02 May 04 - 10:59 PM
Amos 03 May 04 - 12:20 AM
GUEST,freda 03 May 04 - 03:50 AM
Rapparee 03 May 04 - 09:11 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 May 04 - 09:22 AM
freda underhill 03 May 04 - 09:46 AM
Amos 03 May 04 - 10:12 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 May 04 - 10:12 AM
Amos 03 May 04 - 10:20 AM
freda underhill 03 May 04 - 10:28 AM
CarolC 03 May 04 - 11:50 AM
Rapparee 03 May 04 - 12:08 PM
Amos 03 May 04 - 12:13 PM
Amos 03 May 04 - 12:18 PM
CarolC 03 May 04 - 12:23 PM
CarolC 03 May 04 - 12:24 PM
CarolC 03 May 04 - 12:27 PM
Amos 03 May 04 - 01:14 PM
CarolC 03 May 04 - 01:19 PM
Amos 03 May 04 - 01:35 PM
Rapparee 03 May 04 - 05:05 PM
CarolC 03 May 04 - 05:34 PM
CarolC 03 May 04 - 05:54 PM
Amos 03 May 04 - 06:32 PM
Amos 03 May 04 - 07:00 PM
Rapparee 03 May 04 - 07:08 PM
Amos 03 May 04 - 07:19 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 May 04 - 07:20 PM
CarolC 03 May 04 - 08:10 PM
CarolC 03 May 04 - 08:11 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 01 May 04 - 05:47 PM

Well, I see you're still at it. Another 100 posts. Sad. You people should seriously look into "getting a life". Read my book of the same title and find out how to.

William Shatner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 01 May 04 - 07:19 PM

my sole object in life is to have the "last post" thread last this long.

j


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 May 04 - 07:21 PM

...or even longer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 01 May 04 - 08:20 PM

How long?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 May 04 - 08:22 PM

Long enough to satisfy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 May 04 - 08:23 PM

freda - check out the Vlad the Inhaler thread...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 04 - 09:49 PM

There was once a libr'r'n named Rapaire
Who moved North for the sake of the air;
He would sweat out his days
Finding poetic ways
To compose limericks that neither rhymed nor scanned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 May 04 - 10:53 PM

To write an acceptable rhyme
You must do it in three quarter time
With a stylus that squeaks
Like a budgerigar's beak
Make it sober, succint, and sublime

Oh, there once was a Texan named Bush
Gave the voters one hell of a push
Then he "took out" Saddam
With a blippety-blam!
Took a bow and fell right on his tush!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 01 May 04 - 11:02 PM

Higgledy Piggledy
Rawpair Lawberrian
Smoked a fedora and
Sipped his parfait

I need a six syllable
Word for this line 'cause
This stanza's no good
If I leave it this way


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 04 - 12:52 AM

A MOAB fanatic named Hawk
Wrote stuff that would make women gawk
Writing tomes logorrheic
Both sublime and prosaic,
But my gawd, how that feller could tawk!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 May 04 - 12:40 PM

Amos hails from California
And his posts are unique, I will warn ya
They ramble at random
And ya can't understand 'em
But they leave an impression upon ya


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 04 - 12:42 PM

Awww....no hard feelings, guys. I crack me up sometimes!!! ">))))

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 May 04 - 12:59 PM

You can string words together with rhyme
You can wallow around in the slime
But you can't pour a beer
In an elephant's ear
While perched on a lemon or lime


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 04 - 02:03 PM

Amos, in Old San Diego
Thought Rapaire just wasn’t abo
To pen a fine limerick
Which isn’t a hardtrick
If the meter and rhyme are kept stabo.

But once they escape from their bounds
It’s fruitless to unleash the hounds
For the meter and rhyme
Will have a fine time
And besides, who cares? I mean, there are perhaps six people in the whole damned country who know the difference between iambic pentameter and trochaic heptameter, and even fewer who care, and should you take the weeks necessary to write an Alexandrine, say,
the person who you were writing it to in hopes of seducing will
have gone off with someone else because the age is simply not into
seduction and while
the human race has never had “world enough and time”this present era of “carpe diem” and instant gratification has taken all the fun out of things like seduction and flirtation and hell you can’t even tell someone they look good these days without a sexual harrassment complaint


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 04 - 02:09 PM

Ogh!! I am mesmerized as a vole by a cobra!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 May 04 - 02:36 PM

And I am mesmerized as an armadillo by a Ford pickup truck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 04 - 09:18 PM

And I am mesmerized like a...a...yes, master...but George Bush is a weenie, master...yes, master, I will, master, right now, master

He was dirty and hairy and covered with fleas
But he had his women by twos and threes
All hail the bastard king of En-ga-land!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 04 - 10:29 PM

Some Definitions:

Alexandrine: An iambic line of twelve syllables, or six feet, usually with a caesura after the sixth syllable. It is the standard line in French poetry, comparable to the iambic pentameter line in English poetry. It probably received its name from an old French romance, Alexandre le Grand, written about 1180, in which the measure was first used. Sidelight: The last line of the Spenserian stanza is an Alexandrine.

metrical foot :a group of 2 or 3 syllables forming the basic unit of poetic rhythm

Iamb: A metrical foot of two syllables, one short (or unstressed) and one long (or stressed). There are four iambs in the line "Come live/ with me/ and be/ my love," from a poem by Christopher Marlowe.The iamb is the reverse of the trochee.

trochee: A foot in with one accented syllable followed by one unaccented syllable. It is the opposite of the iambic foot.


heptameter: A line of poetry that has seven metrical feet.

pentameter:A line of poetry that has five metrical feet.


Regards,


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 02 May 04 - 10:33 PM

Examples please, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 04 - 10:51 PM

ALexandrine is a line of six iambic feet often used following three lines of iambic pentameter. Here's an example:

Thy generous fruits, though gathered ere their prime,
Still showed a quickness; and maturing time
But mellows what we write to the dull sweets of rhyme.


Notice the third line, which has six "feet" with the rhythm going soft and then loud (emphasis on second syllable of each pair). The emphases in the last line are on the syllables MEL, WHAt, WRIte, THE, SWEEts, RHYme. 6 of them. The preceding lines are pentameter (five feet). Thus, the last line is an Alexandrine.

Classic poetry is written in meter which is made up from "feet". A foot is a segment of two or sometimes three syllables.

The Assyrian/ came down/ like a wolf/ on the fold/
And his co/-horts were gleami/ng in pur/ple and gold.


In a foot the emphasis is typically on the second syllable, as in the segments shown above, in which case they are called iambs. If there ar efive of these iambic feet in a line the meter is called iambic pentameter.

A duple meter is one where the deet are strictly two syllables. Here is an example of trochaic duple meter:

Róund abóut the cáuldron gó,
Ín the póisoned éntrails thrów.


It is called trochaic because the emphasis is on the first syllable in each duple or pair of syllables, and the pairs are therefore trochees, by definition, rather than iambs.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 02 May 04 - 10:59 PM

Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 04 - 12:20 AM

Well, you're welcome. And so is Rapaire, whom I have single handedly saved from perdition for bewildering MOABites; and so, too are each of the many MOABites who never knew a trochee from a turkey or an "iamb" from a "thou art".


Now, Carol -- two little syllables? A mere trochee of acknowledgment? More, I do pray you!! :>)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freda
Date: 03 May 04 - 03:50 AM

Iambic pentameter is a rhythmical pattern of syllables. The "iambic" part means that the rhythm goes from an unstressed syllable to a stressed one, as happens in words like divine, caress, bizarre, and delight. It sounds sort of like a heartbeat: daDUM, daDUM, daDUM. The "pentameter" part means that this iambic rhythm is repeated five times, or has five feet: daDUM daDUM daDUM daDUM daDUM[da].

Shakespeare's Sonnet 97 is held up as an example of perfect iambic pentameter:

XCVII.

How like a winter hath my absence been
From thee, the pleasure of the fleeting year!
What freezings have I felt, what dark days seen!
What old December's bareness every where!
And yet this time removed was summer's time,
The teeming autumn, big with rich increase,
Bearing the wanton burden of the prime,
Like widow'd wombs after their lords' decease:
Yet this abundant issue seem'd to me
But hope of orphans and unfather'd fruit;
For summer and his pleasures wait on thee,
And, thou away, the very birds are mute;
Or, if they sing, 'tis with so dull a cheer
That leaves look pale, dreading the winter's near.

William Shakespeare


ps .. noted those extra two guests at the Black Lion, LH - will be interesting to see what happens next!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 04 - 09:11 AM

Hey, you! Amos! Ya wanna duke it out with a discussion of the Petrachian sonnet form vs. Shakespeare's? Huh? Come on, I whump your ass in a debate about The Faerie Queen any day! Long as I got enough ale, 'cause ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink! Now where was I? Oh, yeah. Face down in a puddle of spilled drink on the bar. Glub.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 May 04 - 09:22 AM

HELP! The MOAB has become Dr. Griffey's lecture on poetic meter from second semester Freshman English class!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 03 May 04 - 09:46 AM

Neutrinos are subatomic particles the effects of which people never notice in daily life because neutrinos are so elusive. In fact, it has been computed that the average neutrino interacts with ordinary matter so weakly that it could go through about 50 light years of solid lead without being stopped! You need very sophisticated scientific instrumentation to discover that these things really exist, and yet they're everywhere. It turns out that neutrinos are easily the most common objects in the universe. There are about a billion neutrinos for every other particle. If you glance at the sun, which is a nearby source of neutrinos, more of them pass through the pupil of your eye in one second than there are people on this planet. So these neutrinos are going through us the whole time, trillions upon trillions of neutrinos, and we just don't notice it. In fact, the entire universe is a sea of neutrinos, and ordinary matter of the sort that you and I are made of is just a tiny impurity in this vast ocean.

Now you might think that neutrinos are of no particular significance given that they are so elusive, but it so happens that they have an important role to play in life. Life as we know it is based on the element carbon, and carbon wasn't present in the early universe right after the big bang. Almost all of it has been manufactured inside stars by nuclear fusion. It turns out that if it weren't for neutrinos, the carbon would still be in those stars. The reason is that processes involving neutrinos which occur in the cores of some heavy stars make them explode. These so-called supernovae spew the stellar material, laced with life-giving carbon, around the galaxy. Some of this material gets incorporated into new generations of stars and planets, and perhaps ultimately into a biosphere. Earth's vital carbon started out in the cores of ancient stars, and it became available for life on Earth only by virtue of exotic neutrino processes. So neutrinos really do make a difference! Yet if it weren't for science we would never know they were there.

From http://www.abc.net.au/science/morebigquestions/stories/s540211.htm

Excerpts from interview with Australian scientist Paul Davies, Visiting Professor of Physics at Imperial College London, Adjunct Professor of Physics at the University of Queensland and Adjunct Professor of Natural Philosophy in the Australian Centre for Astrobiology at Macquarie University, Sydney. Also winner of the 1995 Templeton Prize for Progress in Religion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 04 - 10:12 AM

Well, where else ya gonna find such a rich supply of pure BS?

Rapaire, man, I got no rumble witchoo, so put the knife away. I just figgered ya shouldn't be loading up these folks wit' heavy words widout no definishuns, like "Alexandrine". So I did da homewoik, see?

A

PS: The sonnet form is called the Petrarchan sonnet form -- not Petrachian. It is a rhyming pattern found, for example, in many of the sonnets written by John Donne (of "no manne is an islande" fame). It is also referred to by some as the Italian sonnet, in contrast to the Shakespearian form of sonnet. The Petrarchan sonnet's defining characteristic is a strong division between the first eight lines of the sonnet and the last six. The first eight lines, the octave, establish the subject of the poem in a certain way, and the next six, the sestet, counter the octave by shifting the perspective of the poem in some way. The place where the poem turns from the octave to the sestet is therefore called the volta, which is Italian for "turn."

The rhyme scheme of the most traditional Petrarchan sonnet consists of two sets of four lines rhymed abba (each of these is called an Italian quatrain), followed by rhymes of cdecde in the sestet. While the rhymes of the octave are relatively stable in Petrarchan sonnets, poets tend to vary the rhymes of the sestet, using many different combinations of the c, d, and e rhymes to round out the poem.

When this form of verse was brought to England, together with other Italian verse forms, by Sir Thomas Wyatt (1503-1542) and Henry Howard, Earl of Surrey (1517-1547) in the 16th century, it was modified (apparently by Henry Howard, who retranslated some of Petrarch's sonnets which Wyatt had translated earlier) to what is now called the Shakespearean form: this has three quatrains, each with an independent rhyme scheme, and is ended with a rhymed couplet (abab;cdcd;efef;gg). Again, the sonnets often formed a sequence of independent but related sets of love poems. An early example is Sir Philip Sydney's Astrophel and Stella (1591). Shakespeare's own 154 sonnets were published in 1609: the dates of their composition are not known.

Any further question on the issue should be addressed to M. Rapaire as soon as he feels better! :>))...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 May 04 - 10:12 AM

How much more esoteric than Iambic pentameter
Are neutrinos and other such forms of exotic matter.
As if the Universe were saying, "Look, you'll never get it!
You think in terms of things you can discern. Well, just forget it!
I made the rules and I know what they are. Don't concern yourself.
They are not written down in some book you can pull off a shelf
To see if perhaps I've broken one or two. Shut up jackass!
I know what I'm doing!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 04 - 10:20 AM

I think ole Bill did, as well, BWL! THere's nothing in a sonnet that hurts the universe!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 03 May 04 - 10:28 AM

"no manne is a neutrino"

Alone in a sea of neutrinos
In molecular galaxies i glide
like fine hairs in the sheep of merinos
waiting to be fleeced, I died
trillions upon trillions of rhyme schemes
or traditional Petrarchan sonnets
neutrinos pass through the eye's pupils
and through Merovingian bonnets
meanwhile octaves were relatively stable
neutrinos all dance while they're able
but, if you glance at the sun,
and add twenty one
you'll reach by broadband and not cable
my mind sinks in trillions of neutrinos,
the entire universe is a sea of lambinos
i float in this ocean
and havent a notion
why neutrinos pervade the Big Schemos..

by J. Donne


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 May 04 - 11:50 AM

Hey Amos. I'm a double dactyl kind of gal. That trochee was a thankful nod in your direction, but don't expect me to completely change my rythm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 04 - 12:08 PM

I still don't know if that damned cat is alive or dead. Sheeeee-it. What does it take to get a little up or truth around here, anyway? Yeah, I might be a little quarky, but everyone's got their own gig, ya know? I gotta resort to the strong force, or what? More damned strings that a box fulla government red tape. Hey, babe, let's you an' me go down to the range and watch the ol' lithium VI deutride fuse, huh? We'll have a hot ol' time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 04 - 12:13 PM

Wow!! Double DACtyls??? I always wondered how you gals did that!! I am inclined to be pamprodactylous, myself, but sometimes I try doing things bass-ackwards...


A

PS. (Dactyl, from the ancient Greek word for finger, means a metrical foot consisting of one accented syllable followed by two unaccented or of one long syllable followed by two short, as in "flattery". But it also means a finger or toe or similar structure. Pamprodactylous is a word describing organisms whose toes point forward.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 04 - 12:18 PM

Double-dactylic
Hard as acrylic
Always seems difficult
Rhyming to do
HEre's an example
Found by computer
Out on the internet
Writ by a dweeb:

Pauli and Heisenberg
Offer two rules for con-
Fused aristocracies,
Quantum domains:
"Egalitarian
Nonexclusivity
Must be forbidden"; "Un-
Certainty reigns."


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 May 04 - 12:23 PM

Did you miss my higgledy piggledy altogether, Amos? It's there... if you look hard enough I'm sure you'll find it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 May 04 - 12:24 PM

...although, it wasn't really a proper higgledy piggledy. There should have been a six syllable word in the first or second line of the second stanza.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 May 04 - 12:27 PM

Here's my favorite example. I didn't write this one, but I wish I did:

Higgledy Piggledy
Vladimir Horowitz
Played the piano
While picking his nose

Psychoanalysis
Failed to dissuade him
As quick or as well
As the snot on his clothes


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 04 - 01:14 PM

I love it.

Yes, I missed your earlier higgledy...where should I look to see it??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 May 04 - 01:19 PM

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC - PM
Date: 01 May 04 - 11:02 PM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 04 - 01:35 PM

Ah! No, I didn't miss it, just a disconnect on my part, sorry -- I was impressed.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 04 - 05:05 PM

Higgledy piggledy my black hen
She lays eggs in a relative when
She doesn't lay eggs in a positive now
Because she's unable to postulate how.
                      --Space Child's Mother Goose


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 May 04 - 05:34 PM

That's very nice, Rawpair Lawberrian, but it's not a higgledy piggledy. It's a pome that contains the words "higgledy piggledy".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 May 04 - 05:54 PM

Here's the rules for higgledy piggledy pomes:

Higgledy Piggledy
First name and last name here,
Then something clever on
What he/she did.

Stanza two uses a
Hexasyllabicword;
Finish it up with a
Topper or lid.

--Jed Hartman

Beware of Greeks Bearing Poems

And here's a thread I started about higgledy piggledys a couple of years ago:

Higgledy Piggledy


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 04 - 06:32 PM

HIggledy Piggledy
Carol the Sailor
Came to the Mudcat
Pursuing a thread

Ended up finding
Electrification,
Fell deeply in love
And was rapidy wed!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 04 - 07:00 PM

Higgledy Piggledy
Littlus Hawkimus
Strives in his own way
To reach for the light

Stunning orations and
Vegeterianism
Pure rightness as virtue,
And virtue as right!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 04 - 07:08 PM

I used to have a virtue when I was very young. It was red and blue and I kept it in a paper bag and sometimes I'd take it out and look at it and play with it. Then a neighbor girl took my virtue and I haven't been the same since.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 04 - 07:19 PM

Higgledy Piggledy
Rawpaire Labrarian
Drank him a smoothy an'
Tuned to his books

Virtue was lost in times
Antediluvian;
Waiting to find it
Has not helped his looks!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 May 04 - 07:20 PM

Higgledy Piggledy
Kenny khandu King
Started this thread
Almost one year ago

Sumbitch must have
Dematerialized
'Cause where the hell he is
Don't nobody know


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 May 04 - 08:10 PM

Those are great!

The rythm, if they're to be entirely proper, should go like this:

DA dum dum Da dum dum
DA dum dum Da dum dum
Da dum dum Da dum dum
Da dum dum DUM

Or the last two could be:

DA dum dum DA dum
dum DA dum dum DUM

And then repeat one of the two variations in the second stanza.

A rythm of "DA dum dum" twice in one line is what makes them double dactyls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 May 04 - 08:11 PM

Oops. I did that wrong. It should be:

DA dum dum DA dum dum
DA dum dum DA dum dum
DA dum dum DA dum dum
DA dum dum DUM

-or-

DA dum dum DA dum
dum DA dum dum DUM


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