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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 26 Aug 08 - 03:18 PM
Donuel 26 Aug 08 - 11:07 AM
Amos 26 Aug 08 - 10:36 AM
Amos 26 Aug 08 - 10:33 AM
Acme 26 Aug 08 - 10:29 AM
Amos 26 Aug 08 - 10:19 AM
Amos 26 Aug 08 - 10:15 AM
MMario 26 Aug 08 - 09:44 AM
Rapparee 26 Aug 08 - 09:37 AM
Rapparee 26 Aug 08 - 09:36 AM
Amos 26 Aug 08 - 09:31 AM
Rapparee 26 Aug 08 - 09:27 AM
Little Hawk 26 Aug 08 - 12:22 AM
Amos 26 Aug 08 - 12:14 AM
Rapparee 25 Aug 08 - 10:26 PM
Amos 25 Aug 08 - 07:33 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 08 - 06:31 PM
Acme 25 Aug 08 - 06:26 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 08 - 05:58 PM
Amos 25 Aug 08 - 05:45 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 08 - 05:16 PM
Donuel 25 Aug 08 - 03:55 PM
MMario 25 Aug 08 - 03:37 PM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 08 - 03:34 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 08 - 12:36 PM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 08 - 11:56 AM
Amos 25 Aug 08 - 11:43 AM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 08 - 11:38 AM
Rapparee 25 Aug 08 - 11:31 AM
Amos 25 Aug 08 - 11:07 AM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 08 - 10:48 AM
Acme 25 Aug 08 - 10:44 AM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 08 - 10:37 AM
Amos 25 Aug 08 - 10:22 AM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 08 - 09:30 AM
Rapparee 25 Aug 08 - 08:32 AM
Amos 25 Aug 08 - 01:35 AM
Acme 24 Aug 08 - 07:55 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 08 - 06:14 PM
Amos 24 Aug 08 - 04:46 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 08 - 04:00 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 08 - 03:58 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 08 - 03:58 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 08 - 03:57 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 08 - 03:54 PM
Amos 24 Aug 08 - 01:37 PM
Acme 24 Aug 08 - 12:40 PM
Amos 24 Aug 08 - 12:30 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 08 - 10:36 PM
Acme 23 Aug 08 - 03:20 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 03:18 PM

Okay, so this Roman cat was lifting up Mars by his (Mars', I assume) sacred underwear? Was this some sort of wedgie sacrifice? Didn't Mars get annoyed by this?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 11:07 AM

At Mt Vernon they have a new life like statue what shows his face as if he had never lost all his teeth giving his visage a bolder chin and an expression much different from the dollar bill.

Washington not ever having kids did work well for a democracy rather than a dynasty. Unlike GHW and GW


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 10:36 AM

IT is awful and wondrous to consider that the next really good summer read you open may be hanging on the threads of some long-past bikini, or teddy, or slip, innit? Thus from beauty unto beauty every fiber shall have its service anew.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 10:33 AM

"Gracchus has presented to a cornet player-or perhaps it was a player on the straight horn-a dowry of four hundred thousand sesterces. The contract has been signed; the benedictions have been pronounced; a crowd of banqueters seated, the new made bride is reclining on the bosom of her husband. O ye nobles of Rome! is it a soothsayer that we need, or a Censor? Would you be more aghast, would you deem it a greater portent, if a woman gave birth to a calf, or a cow to a lamb? The man who is now arraying himself in the flounces and train and veil of a bride once carried the nodding shields[21] of Mars by the sacred thongs and sweated under the sacred burden!

126 O Father of our city, whence came such wickedness among thy Latin shepherds? How did such a lust possess thy grandchildren, O Gradivus? Behold! Here you have a man of high birth and wealth being handed over in marriage to a man, and yet neither shakest thy helmet, nor smitest the earth with thy spear, nor yet protestest to thy Father? Away with thee then; begone from the broad acres of that Martial Plain[22] which thou hast forgotten..." (Juvenal)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 10:29 AM

Leo, be happy that they're recycling most of these fibers, they're taking the tacky low-slung acid-washed Old Navy jeans that were too tight to begin with and now are discarded with little regard for reusing of such garments. It has been SNATCHED from the mouldering heap at the land fill and has instead been shreaded and (probably) bleached and turned into paper to live again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 10:19 AM

A quote from my favorite juvenal delinquent:

... iam pridem, ex quo suffragia nulli
uendimus, effudit curas; nam qui dabat olim
imperium, fasces, legiones, omnia, nunc se
continet atque duas tantum res anxius optat,
panem et circenses. ...

( Satire 10.77?81)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 10:15 AM

THere's no happy solution here, is there? You're either vandalizing the souls of vegetable entities or polluting the electro-magnetosphere, and we're plumb out of stone tablets. A librarian's lot is not a happy one...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 09:44 AM

YOU DESECRATE THE REMAINS OF COTTON AND LINEN CLOTH!!!!

Oh - how truly perverted! Obviously, Rapaire, you are one of those who believe that perennials are superior to mere annuals. Why is an Aspen or other pulp tree more precious a life then that of flax? Indeed, since the latter's life is so fleeting, to descrate their mortal remains is even more hideous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 09:37 AM

(Besides, rag-based paper isn't acid based and hence will not go brown and crumbly.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 09:36 AM

No, merely mindful of our friends the trees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 09:31 AM

all of our materials are made from rag-based cloth, not (shudder!) wood pulp

A quick estimation of costs seems to indicate that yours muust be the only super-rich library in the nation.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 09:27 AM

Fences!? Arboreal necrophilia? Pervert! You're the sort who frequent lumber yards and lumber mills, panting and drooling in overheated lust! The sort who give honest craftspeople a bad name! I hope that you're buried in a cheap coffin of rough-sawn poison ivy stems, face down, your perverted part shoved through a knothole so that it will be the first thing the worms nibble upon.

And Amos, all of our materials are made from rag-based cloth, not (shudder!) wood pulp. The paper, that is. CDs, DVDs, and especially MP3s aren't made from paper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 12:22 AM

Trees with knotholes are particularly nervous about that sort of thing. Fences also, but to a much lesser extent since the average fence is pretty much oblivious to most of what goes on around it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 12:14 AM

Sad fate for an honest hugger of trees.

But you are no great friend of trees, yourself--your trade in their sorry remains gives the lie to any assertions of friendship. For them, you are a trafficker in cadavers and parts.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 10:26 PM

I would not be speaking from experience, but from only a branch of it, watching my friend Rob crumple into sawdust from venereal dry rot. You see, he became too fond of a tree and could not separate xylem from phloem or love from lust. One night of passion, a few days of splinters, and then a lifetime of VDR. He tried everything, even epoxy treatments, but it was too late and he finally crumbled away. And the tree, it continued to lift its leafy arms to prey.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 07:33 PM

Woodest thou be speaking from experience? Tho' he swears he woodst not, yet as his bark biteth, so his tongue gives rough answers to the truth. The root of the matter's too deep to wot, whole or rotten.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 06:31 PM

And don't get me started on the perversions of dendrophiles and arborophiles. I will only say that venereal dry rot is a gruesome thing, God wot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 06:26 PM

And they call this a BS thread. . . amazing what you'll learn here. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 05:58 PM

Actually, one set was hippo ivory. Nobody ever had teeth made of wood -- why, the dental termites would have had a field day!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 05:45 PM

I believe his teeth were made of the stuff...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 05:16 PM

Just those of presidential timber.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 03:55 PM

Well then

Did you know that the father of our country, George Washington, was sterile?

If he's not the father, does that make us bastards?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 03:37 PM

Isn't that the truth? I once saw (from a distance - I don't think I would have survived otherwise) the Head Librarian of a CONVENT! That's a double whammy - Nun AND Librarian! And she was from a teaching order to boot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 03:34 PM

Don't I know it. Librarians. They struck terror in the hearts of other humans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 12:36 PM

You needn't. I can find it readily enough. I am, after all, a Librarian.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 11:56 AM

No, no, you misunderstand. I want to do as Rapaire is doing and relieve the sufferings of others. I stand ready to forward my address.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 11:43 AM

Well, since I was not complaining of this malaise, but LH was, and he approves of both ideas, itseems logtical to predict he will be implementing them shortly. Go ahead and send him the wealth address. It won't be much, but it will surely lift his spirits to send it,, pittance or no.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 11:38 AM

Very good idea, Rapaire! Both of them, in fact.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 11:31 AM

I once suffered from that, Amos. But dedicating your life and wealth to others is a certain cure. May I send an address to which you can send your wealth?

Another certain cure (albeit one with certain side effects possible) is to become active in the Idaho Legion. Right now they are lobbying the Idaho Congressional Delegation for an anti-submarine blimp base so that the Snake River can be properly protected against U-boats.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 11:07 AM

The real problem, I suspect, is not actually slowness, but a buildup of too many not-quite-understood messages causing the onset of creeping unconsciousnes.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 10:48 AM

Hmm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 10:44 AM

Amos, I was referring to Rapaire's musicians, not to Barky.

LH, maybe you need to take crochet and knitting lessons from MMario or other Mudcatters. It might take the edge off of your separation anxiety when MOAB gets a little slow for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 10:37 AM

"We are not here to be your substitute for luife, LH, nor to entertain you."

You're NOT???

Damn. Well, there goes that idea.

Amos, I've noticed that your spelling is deteriorating at an exponential rate lately. What's up, doc? Are you under stress? Is the election campaign getting to you? Meds not working right? Womenopause setting in?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 10:22 AM

We are not here to be your substitute for luife, LH, nor to entertain you. The fount of wisdom and knowledge here found is yours to drink from as you will, but if you find it boring you might want to ask why you would want to be projectin gthat particular sensation.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 09:30 AM

C'mon, people! I'm losing interest here. You can do better than this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 08:32 AM

Well, hell, Amos. You said her playing made grown men cry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 01:35 AM

This was not "pain", thou jade, unless it be the beautiful sadness of sheer beauty made visible but never attainable. Ay, heart, there's pain will still thy mortal complaint!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Aug 08 - 07:55 PM

Pain will do that to an audience. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 08 - 06:14 PM

I'm ashamed to say that I'm known cornetists and trumpeters like that. I knew one guy who could make entire concert hall audiences weep with his playing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Aug 08 - 04:46 PM

There is no doubt. Last night, on her lovely cornet, Barky played so sweetly she had three grown men in tears, two of whom were not even related to her!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 08 - 04:00 PM

Amos, anytime one has a cornetist or trumpeter in one's home one is seven times seven blessed above all others and joy is unconfined.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 08 - 03:58 PM

But I've got the palindrome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 08 - 03:58 PM

Amos stole it from Jeri.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 08 - 03:57 PM

Mom promised 25,000 to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 08 - 03:54 PM

We'll send the cops around too. Depends upon how much money or what is involved. The last go-round was a woman who had us borrow a videotape (hard enough!) of Indian dancing on Interlibrary Loan. She gave the usual excuses ("A friend borrowed them" "My pet dragon has been ill" and so on) but had no follow-through on her promises. Now, our reputation in ILL is on the line here, so we finally sent the "Bring 'em back or else we'll see you in court" letter and the item was returned immediately.

One woman who got The Letter also got a cop coming up her walk after she ignored The Letter. She ended up spending the night in jail because she also had not reported to her probation officer.

If anyone thinks libraries likes to do these things they're very much mistaken. However, we hold these items in trust for the community we serve and as such we have obligations to the community and state law gives us the tools to enforce those obligations.

We will no longer allow you to borrow CDs and DVDs or more than 3 books the first time you check out materials. This is because so many people would get a card, check out CDs and/or DVDs, and never return. The "borrowed" materials end up in some pawnshop or flea market and the proceeds are then snorts, smoked, or injected.

Yes, it's a very small minority who do these things. But I'm always surprised when the media is surprised that a library anywhere decides to enforce the law and the public trust.

Another aspect is the cost. My materials budget for next fiscal year will be less in actual purchasing power than this year and it has been dropping in actual purchasing power since 2004. I can no longer afford to ignore thieves.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Aug 08 - 01:37 PM

Goodness, the Bush administration has changed the landscap[e in far-reaching ways, hasn't it??


IT has been a wild couple of days here at San Woebegin, my home town in the sunny Southwest.   For the first time in some weeks I did go out kayaking. On Friday, my best-beloved wife's sister (BBWS) and their mom (my MIL) arrived and filled the house with gay chitchat. They went to the airport for us to meet a woman we had never met but who was a close friend at work of BBWS, in the NPS offices in Denver, and BBWS had no idea this lady named Nancy was going to come to an Diego for the special occasion--that was drawing people together from all over the country--of BBWS' birthday, the celebration of her big six-oh. When BBWS saw Nancy at the airport she went into a faint of amazement, which was most gratifying to those who had plotted the surprise. Mid-afternoon the Young Renter who is living in our spare bedroom until her house purchase goes through showed up with her husband who is here for a brief visit from his duties at Fort Bragg. They began with a couple of friends to set up a large spread for a thank you party she was throwing for those who helped her move. Then MIL got busy in the sam ekitchen readying up a nice bunch of platters for a a handful of guests we were having over at the same time. Worlds in collision!! I don't mind saying it was somewhat chatic in that kitchen for several hours. I escaped myself to drive to the airport to meet my best-beloved daughter, BBD, who arrived with her cornet and suitcase. Sheer joy personified, to an aging Paw.

Oh, and the Concert Pianist arrived from Ohio Thursday evening and spent the night. He is an old friend of BBWS from childhood and agreed to come help celebrate the Day.

So Friday evening we have a huge crowd. One half the house is occupied by the Young Engineering crowd chowing down on babyback ribs and the patio is covered with a slightly older set, including the Oceanographer, the Retired Physicist, the COncert Pianist, The Choreoggrapher, spouses and friends and wine and plates of food. The electricity in the house was palpable, buzzing conversations, some jazz playing, There was some cross over betweent he sets, as I knew many of the Young Engineering crowd from work, and a couple of the engineers got to talking with The Physicist. The COncert Pianist graced the evening with a couple of fine pieces, which the older crowd loved and the younger crowd listened to with respect and admiration.

By 9:00 pm the crowd had thinned and we took to scrubbing and washing and drying and figuring out what to do with the left overs. The fridge is groaning with leftovers. Three trashbags full of stuff in the trash. One drain backed up with (probably) fruit rinds and vegetable cuttings carelessly dispatched by the inexperienced into an aged drain system. When the last dish was washed and the last guest sent off with cheery farewells, we all crashed. MIL and BBWS to a hotel, the Concert Pianist from Ohio to a friend's house, Nancy to our spare bed in the printer room, all slipped intot he arms of Morpheus.

Saturday, after a lazy breakfast, we loaded up the car with twenty cases of wine and water and fruity drink and such and John from Northern California arrived A motorcade of three cars all made their way about fifty miles North and East to a beautiful ranchhouse among avocado groves with a huge patio and lovely pool and jacuzzi, in the shadow of Mount Palomar, where we deployed. Guests from all over the county arrived in this far off hard to find enclave, around 4, and soon a party celebrating BBWS' 60th was in full swing. There was a lovely 40' concert of short selections in the finest classical tradition by the Concert Pianist. There was a heart-melting duet with Barky on cornet, and the Concert Pianist playing piano, rendering "Believe me if all Those Endearing Young Charms", a real tear-jerker of a melody. There were dogs chasing tennis balls and there were small boys splashing in the pool, there was flowong wines and tequila and beer, and spare ribs and catered steamtables full of delicacies, and a CD of yours truly playing a song for BBWS especially written for her, and a slideshow of photos from he rlife playing on the wide screen tv, and all sorts of terrific gifts. It finally wound down about 6 hors later.

When it was all over, I carried five cases of unused wine back to the car and drove MIL and Barky back down the hill.   BBW and Nancy and BBWS are out trailriding in the back hills this morning, so things have quieted down.

But that's why I haven't been posting much this weekend.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Aug 08 - 12:40 PM

You have to wonder about this woman--the books can't have cost a fraction of the fine she paid. They don't say where they're from, but I imagine she wasn't allowed to check out books from Special Collections or someplace really pricey. link

Wisconsin woman jailed for overdue library books

This story out of Wisconsin sort of resembles "The Library" episode from Seinfeld, specifically the part about the "library cop."

A Wisconsin woman was cuffed, fingerprinted and booked into jail in connection with her overdue library books.

The woman, 22-year-old Heidi Dalibor, told WISN-TV that she repeatedly ignored overdue notices from the library for two books she checked out last year.

She also ignored a police citation and a notice to appear in municipal court for her overdue books.

"I said, what could they possibly do? They can't arrest me for this ... I was wrong," she told WISN.

That's what led the Grafton (Wis.) Police Department to knock on her door, arrest warrant in hand, according to the report.

She was booked into the city jail and released after paying a $170 fine.

As for the books, Dalibor told the station she's still not giving them back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Aug 08 - 12:30 PM

One of the reason Juan was always getting into straits was because her always wore jackets borrowed from leading Idahoan librarians.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 08 - 10:36 PM

I've always wondered what sort of straits Juan de Fuqa got himself into. An irate father with a shotgun? An irate wife with meat cleaver? An irate husband with a suit for alienation of affection? An irate girlfriend with....

My enquiring mind has long wondered about this at various times.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Aug 08 - 03:20 PM

Salish, maybe Lushootseed. From the Puget Sound area of Washington State, where I'm actually from. I just live in Texas.


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