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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 22 Aug 08 - 05:33 PM
Acme 22 Aug 08 - 05:11 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 08 - 05:03 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 08 - 02:07 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 08 - 01:52 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 08 - 01:49 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 08 - 12:31 PM
Amos 22 Aug 08 - 12:26 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 08 - 12:16 PM
Amos 22 Aug 08 - 11:20 AM
Amos 22 Aug 08 - 10:44 AM
Rapparee 22 Aug 08 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 21 Aug 08 - 03:44 PM
Donuel 21 Aug 08 - 01:56 PM
Acme 21 Aug 08 - 01:21 PM
Donuel 21 Aug 08 - 01:06 PM
Donuel 21 Aug 08 - 01:03 PM
Amos 21 Aug 08 - 09:53 AM
Rapparee 21 Aug 08 - 09:09 AM
Amos 21 Aug 08 - 12:55 AM
Amos 21 Aug 08 - 12:45 AM
Acme 20 Aug 08 - 11:03 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 08 - 10:54 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 10:46 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 08 - 09:53 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 09:04 PM
Donuel 20 Aug 08 - 08:29 PM
Little Hawk 20 Aug 08 - 07:31 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 07:21 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 20 Aug 08 - 06:55 PM
Jeri 20 Aug 08 - 06:46 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 20 Aug 08 - 06:36 PM
Acme 20 Aug 08 - 06:28 PM
GUEST,Blind Drunk in Blind River 20 Aug 08 - 06:27 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 08 - 06:22 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 06:15 PM
Bobert 20 Aug 08 - 06:14 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 06:14 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 06:11 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 06:11 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 06:11 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 06:11 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 06:10 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 06:10 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 06:10 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 06:10 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 06:10 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 06:10 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 06:09 PM
Amos 20 Aug 08 - 06:09 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 08 - 05:33 PM

So? Big deal. I wasn't worried about it, I just happened to be leafing through a book idly today in the used bookstore, a book about Irish history, and there was an explanation of the word "rapaire". That was the first point at which I ever HAD any concern about there being a possible meaning behind Rapaire's membername.

And if that ain't good enough for ya, Stilly, too flippin' bad, eh? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Aug 08 - 05:11 PM

It took 25,000 posts for LH to finally get that? I must have gotten it 22,000 posts back.

Sheesh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 08 - 05:03 PM

Better look further, for it means more than that. WITHOUT the accent acutes it mean "rapier" (like the sword). WITH accent acutes is means "raparree" or "highwayman".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 08 - 02:07 PM

Hey, man, I just found out what that crazy name of yours means. I was looking through a book about the history of Ulster. Apparently a rapaire was a half-pike, a weapon meant for impaling one's adversary on the the battlefield. This would have been back in the 1500s, I think. Maybe the 1600s.

The Irish pronounced it "raparee".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 08 - 01:52 PM

I can only say to LH, who suggested such a contest, "Urine trouble now!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 08 - 01:49 PM

My pissing vs. Chongo's dribbling? This would be a contest?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 08 - 12:31 PM

Well, Rapaire is a special case, I grant you that. ;-) It would be interesting to get him and Chongo together for a "pissing" contest. I think that the results would probably draw grudging respect from even Chuck Norris.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 08 - 12:26 PM

Actually I was referring to Rapaire's recent posts,LH!! :DF



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 08 - 12:16 PM

"SOmetimes, it seems, life is just an unending struggle between testosterone and delusion."

Interesting viewpoint, Amos. ;-) Yeah, it does seem like that sometimes, if you're male at any rate.

I think life is an unending struggle between love and fear. Testosterone merely adds quite a bit to the confusion, that's all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 08 - 11:20 AM

I know where San Diego is as well as where Arimo and McAmmon are. Obviously I know more than you do.

Knowing a couple of two-bit suburbs n Bannock County doesn't not add up to knowing a lot, you know. Besides, THERE's NO SUCH PLACE as McAmmon.

It's spelled McCammon.

Unless you are exploring a different map altogether...

Anything is possible.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 08 - 10:44 AM

SOmetimes, it seems, life is just an unending struggle between testosterone and delusion.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 08 - 09:15 AM

Moreover, I find it difficult to sleep during my meetings with the Mayor. He's always saying things and stuff. And he really should get a couch in his office because it's difficult sleeping in those chairs he has. Not a lounger in the bunch. I nearly typed "Not a lunger in the bunch" but we don't have a lot of TB around here anymore. Just another Old West custom destroyed by the March Of Progress -- Doc Holliday would be disappointed. Of course, there's no record he ever was up this way, but the principle is the same. But I put the decline in consumptives to the decline in spittoons. You never see a spittoon in a bar anymore, especially in those bars that serve drinks with little umbrellas or impaled fruit in them. My guess is that if a REAL drinker came in, ordered some Red-eye, spit his cud out onto the floor, and cussed the barkeep when he didn't leave the bottle the REAL drinker would probably be asked, oh so politely, to leave. That of course would end when the bar was wrecked and the lights shot out, but none of that would have happened if the mayor would keep his mouth shut when I'm trying to grab some ZZZs in his office.

Just goes to show you how politicians keep small businesses down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 08 - 03:44 PM

I personally find famine, death, pestilence, war, and embarassing itch to be offensive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Aug 08 - 01:56 PM

Maybe Lou Dobbs might show up.

We could explain to him that getting the most bang for our illegal immigrant buck is not in a 5billion dollar ICE police but rather have aliens on site for nothern style slavery so we can get our yards turned into to victory gardens and grow food. Others could simply get the grass cut or an addition built with super insulation and solar cell installation.

Some people would not object to the virtuall slavery but only the cultural intrusion while most people who already have Latino housekeepers would expand on their use of this labor base.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Aug 08 - 01:21 PM

You'd certainly attract some attention!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Aug 08 - 01:06 PM

(its a short story I did in the style of Jean Shepard with the social spices of Rod Serling.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Aug 08 - 01:03 PM

Kudos Amos

I thought you plugged in big Mom for the truly famous horse of the 1930's that had many poems, movies and books dedicated to him.
It is written with the tone and timbre of the 1930 American language.


BUSY BUSY DAY Its seasonal garbage day.

If I have time I'll dig a split trench latrine in the front yard and invite all the Mexicans down by 7-11 and Home Depot to build a tent city on our huge front yard.

That should give the neighbors something to think about at Church.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 08 - 09:53 AM

Well, I guess some of us are just a little too old to wave the magic wand, is all. I declare your remarks inconsequential, poof.

Whassamaddayou? You can dish out solipsism, but you can't take it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 08 - 09:09 AM

And that's why Americans do so poorly in mathematics....

"Houston, we've only go a tenth of the fuel needed to return to Earth!"
"Yeah, well, we declare the problem fixed, POOF!!"
"Houston, who you callin' a poof?"

"Well, Karl, we only have 10% of the votes we need."
"No problem. I declare the problem solved. POOF! Oh, and call the Supreme Court for me willya?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 08 - 12:55 AM

I said 2500th a couple of times when I meant 25,000 th.

I hereby decee those errors corrected, poof.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 08 - 12:45 AM

Now, Still. Jeri fixed things right up when asked, and she was very gracious about it. No harm, no foul.

Don't wear yerself out--it's a bear reading up a long string of posts.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 11:03 PM

I raced to the end, after an absence all day, to see who got the number. I counted back and saw jeri's name, and the note that "empty posts are deleted." The original 25,000th post had been cut.

Actually, I'm quite disappointed. jeri should know better than to intrude on a long-running idiosyncratic thread, to pull rank arbitrarily, to usurp the flow of the MOAB.

It's cheating.

I expect an apology.

Seriously. And take the "this space for rent" line out.

SRS

(I'll go back and read your magnum opus, Amos.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 10:54 PM

You ever set tombstones in July? In a cemetery where the water was from a well downhill from the graves?

Now you have a general idea why I became a librarian.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 10:46 PM

I think I now know why you became a Librarian.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 09:53 PM

Unlike Amos (obviously a greedhead neocon Republican who will undoubtedly vote for McCain at least five or six times) Jeri does catch-and-release.

Not a bad epic poem. The scansion limps here and there, the meter's a bit rough, the imagery leaves something to be desired, there are several "iffy" rhymes, and the whole thing would probably have been better as an Alexandrine. But a good try nonetheless.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 09:04 PM

I am disappointed in the responses. This heart-stopping mellerdrammer, this original creative work, this paean to the tensions and mysteries of the MOAB, and all I get is a buncha yeah, right, man, I had one of those but the wheels fell off kind of remarks. Sigh.
I say, "sigh"! SIGH!




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 08:29 PM

I've been hit by lighting that way
without an iron bit & shoes
it blasted me with a burning blaze
and screamed 'time's up you lose'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 07:31 PM

If you think I'm going to look back through all those thousands of posts to find the 2500th one, think again.

Anyway that is soooo "last week"...as Paris Hilton would say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 07:21 PM

There was an invisible core of transcendant tranquility in the 2500th thread, such that it was not empty, merely invisible. There was no way for Jeri to know that as she is so quick on the response that she was posting before the explanation was proffered. She has now, justly, put things to rights.

It is also the case that this Star Number was hardest earned by the author of this scintillating, blood-curdling tale of heroic strife and god-like intervention in the affairs of Men and BS.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:55 PM

I yewshally bag it too if I am on the street. Or at the movies.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Jeri
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:46 PM

Jeri bagged it and Jeri let it go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:36 PM

Flip. Now Jeris' flippin' post has distapaered. Amos musta bribed someone in management to do that. The man is a total slimehead, eh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:28 PM

If it was blank on this thread it should have been restored--it had symbolic meaning!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind Drunk in Blind River
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:27 PM

I hearn about this, eh? That flippin' bolthole Amoz tried to flippin' bulldoaz his way to post number 25,0000 by postin' a whole buncha times over and over and flippin' OVER again! So he is majerly greedy, eh? Well, the flippin' doofus did not get that 25,000 post. Jeri got it. Ha! Ha! Ha!

What a looser, eh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:22 PM

Looks like Jeri bagged 25K, Amos....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:15 PM

Do NOT delete that post, dearheart!!!! It has a hiidden meaning!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:14 PM

Wow, Amos...

I think you deserve to take a victory lap and maybe get into Ripley's Believe-it-or-Not...

Congrates...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:14 PM

I think in some strange way it is only ultimately appropriate that the 2500th post should be a Zen post, the sound of no words in a space of infinite time. For thus is True BS.

I dedicate it to King Khandu and all who have come after him.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:11 PM













This space for rent. -Muderator


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:11 PM

10.

There's folks today still tell the tale,
In the quiet evening hours,
When the heat of the speed of the passing hooves
Drained the life from the roadside flowers
When every heart was prepared to break,
And every eye weep a tear,
As they prayed or cheered or cursed in their beards,
For the horse they held so dear.

It was surely a loss, for the giant Brown
Still strove at Big Mom's head
And his tail was high and his head was down
Lookin' strong, and game, and fed.

And some as was there still get the stare
Of a man who sees too far,
And can't quite reckon the time and the ways
When reality lowers the bar.

But the darkening clouds grew over Brown
In the last of the quart-miles
And a spray of lightning light came down
And snaked across the ground

And it didn't hit Brown enough to hurt,
Of blood, there warn't a dab.
But it bit his heels and made him leap,
And startle, and stall, and crab.

And while he crabbed Big Mom blew by,
Like dawn pouring into day,
And poured on everything she had,
And she crossed 25 of Kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:11 PM

But there was no way, any jock could see
For Big Mom to make that draw
For Big Brown moved with the longest stride
Any horse-man ever saw.

And he moved with speed and he moved with grace,
Like a shell from a well-oiled gun
And the betting men cheered in spite of themselves
Knowing down deep he'd won.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:11 PM

9.

And there was the Nine, now flying past!
And there the crowd, gone mad,
ANd they started to yell, "Come On, Big Mom!!"
With everything they had.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:10 PM

Ten thousand breaths that had been held
Were let out as one breath
Ten thousand hearty voices yelled,
Loud enough to wake the deaf.

Ten thousand kerchiefs waved in the sun,
And ten thousand spirits prayed,
As the rounded the Nine and went for the line,
AT the dawn of that summer day.
....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:10 PM

8.

Then suddenly, the Nine came down
Like a flag from an angry Zeus
ANd the thunder of the cheers rose up
In the thunder of mighty shoes,

And the clouds of dust were whipped aside,
As fast as light in the night
And Big Brown whipped across the Nine
WIth another horse on his right

But it wasn't what they'd thought it was
Just aft the right of him;
The horse that moved in his very steps
Was no longer brave Bright Glim.

For Glim was third!! And in her place
Like a well-aimed flying bomb,
Came loping up in second place
Implacable Big Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:10 PM

On down, on down, those ponies ran,
Into the rising sun,
And the hopes of every betting man
Hung balanced on their run.

And the gentlemen curled their mighty hands,
And the ladies whispered in dread,
As the distant cloud moved down the stretch,
With the nine in sight, ahead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:10 PM

7.

But the clump was driving fast as hell,
Faster than well-oiled dreams,
And the crowd grew wan, with a muffled gasp
And a few well-muted screams.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:10 PM

Then the crowd fell still, while on the stretch
While the trainers muttered and cussed,
On the far-away stretch they saw every horse
DIsappear in a cloud of dust.

The shyster on the field PA
Could only mutter and stew,
For they couldn't make out one horse from the next,
WHile the dust-clouds whirled and blew.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:10 PM

6.

And still they roared and thundered on,
Bound onward toward the nine,
But the back three started to feel the heat,
Falling back in a long, thin line.

Brown Derby would not quail or flinch,
Moving out like a beast of steel,
ANd behind her Bright Glim raged ahead,
With an anger you could feel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:09 PM

She had come abeam of the very tip
Of the tail of bold Bright Glim,
And Big Mom smiled and stretched a tad,
And moved to the flank of him.

And the ladies fluttered their summer fans,
And recovered from summer swoons,
As a ripple of hope ran through the crowds
On that burning afternoon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:09 PM

5.

And on they came, like dust from hell,
Their drumming shoe like hail,
Their fiery breath and murd'rous gaze
And their flying, wind-swept tails.

The jockeys bent and cried and sang,
"Come on! Big Girl, come on!"
Around the flag at 24-9,
And straight to the end of dawn.

They hammered the turf with flashing feet,
And they filled the air with thunder.
The bettors gasped and watched Big Mom
With hope, and awe, and wonder.


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