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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 17 May 08 - 02:38 AM
Acme 16 May 08 - 10:20 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 08 - 09:06 PM
Acme 16 May 08 - 08:56 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 08 - 08:40 PM
Acme 16 May 08 - 08:36 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 08 - 08:26 PM
Acme 16 May 08 - 03:19 PM
MMario 16 May 08 - 02:46 PM
Acme 16 May 08 - 02:12 PM
Amos 16 May 08 - 01:27 PM
MMario 16 May 08 - 11:53 AM
Amos 16 May 08 - 11:51 AM
MMario 16 May 08 - 10:56 AM
Acme 16 May 08 - 10:46 AM
MMario 16 May 08 - 10:30 AM
Amos 16 May 08 - 10:24 AM
MMario 16 May 08 - 10:12 AM
Acme 16 May 08 - 10:04 AM
MMario 16 May 08 - 09:22 AM
Acme 16 May 08 - 12:11 AM
Little Hawk 16 May 08 - 12:06 AM
Amos 15 May 08 - 10:07 PM
Little Hawk 15 May 08 - 06:23 PM
Amos 15 May 08 - 05:38 PM
Amos 15 May 08 - 04:01 PM
Amos 15 May 08 - 01:47 PM
Acme 15 May 08 - 01:33 PM
Amos 15 May 08 - 01:29 PM
Amos 15 May 08 - 10:03 AM
Rapparee 15 May 08 - 06:50 AM
Acme 14 May 08 - 11:19 PM
Amos 14 May 08 - 08:24 PM
Rapparee 14 May 08 - 08:12 PM
Amos 14 May 08 - 11:12 AM
Amos 14 May 08 - 11:01 AM
Rapparee 14 May 08 - 09:56 AM
Acme 14 May 08 - 09:56 AM
Amos 14 May 08 - 09:55 AM
Rapparee 14 May 08 - 09:35 AM
MMario 14 May 08 - 09:03 AM
Amos 14 May 08 - 02:00 AM
Rapparee 13 May 08 - 10:33 PM
Rapparee 13 May 08 - 09:41 PM
Amos 13 May 08 - 09:38 PM
Acme 13 May 08 - 06:34 PM
Rapparee 13 May 08 - 04:33 PM
Amos 13 May 08 - 04:29 PM
Amos 13 May 08 - 04:28 PM
Amos 13 May 08 - 04:26 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 May 08 - 02:38 AM

Night, MOM. Turn off the TV and get some sleep. I'm sure there won't be a story about Rapaire getting out of gaol so soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 10:20 PM

Oh, well. What's the point in having my very being at Mudcat threatened with abject humiliation without grousing about it a little?

I grew up in Seattle before it was such a big coffee slurping city (I moved away in 1980). I can't afford the fancy tea (I don't drink coffee) at the place so I rarely go in unless it is an airport or hotel where I'm passing through. So I didn't pay much attention to the logo. I should know this, but I'm sure a search will only hit the coffee shops--isn't Starbuck a character in Moby Dick? Yes, I looked him up. He's one of the mates. So maybe the symbol should be a whale, not a piece of tail.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 08 - 09:06 PM

Stilly, I am not making any allusions (subtle or otherwise) to your recent disagreements with CarolC. I am simply having fun composing utter doggerel and blathertwaddle for its own sake. No hidden meanings are woven in it waiting to be found. At least, none that I am consciously aware of.

I am attempting to rouse Amos from his sartorial torpor, casting my line hopefully into the briny depths where he rests waiting, like a Moray Eel in his cave, for some unwitting lunch to go by. I am trolling for the sesquipedalian flounder.

As for the two-tailed mermaid, yes...that is very odd indeed. But I don't find it offensive. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 08:56 PM

I know. Thank you. I have been warned, after all.

Why on earth does Starbucks have a two-tailed mermaid? I never go there and don't pay attention to the logo except that JunK started that thread. I see Don's point, but I can't say I've ever seen a two-tailed mermaid anywhere else.

Too bad Rapaire isn't here, he knows everything. HE could answer my question.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 08 - 08:40 PM

Whilst navigating non-sequitorial shoals it is wise to keep one's eyes peeled at all times for the sudden emergence of a rampant skeelk. And one's vorpal blade at the ready, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 08:36 PM

Isn't is useful that hints and euphemisms don't turn up in forum searches. You're less likely to get them thrown back in your face out of context. ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 08 - 08:26 PM

Gnarbling the gnarfs again, are we? I thought so. There has been a surfeit of that lately. More than an abundance. An exessive amount. Such gnarblification does little to amend the general impression that has been created which is that things have gone rapidly from bad to verse around here!

Shape up or ship out, I say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 03:19 PM

Thanks! I see the ability to respond has lapsed, probably the best thing for that venue. "Hubris" is a term that comes to mind when reading her demand that the entire unexpurgated content of her posts be studied before one is entitled to respond in any negative way to any of her recent statements. Talk about a hyperactive id!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 08 - 02:46 PM

Humiliation is the abasement of pride; mortification. The state of being ..humbled or reduced to lowliness or submission. It is thus the process of being made humble. It can be brought about through bullying, intimidation, physical or mental mistreatment or trickery and embarrassment.

I think a cetain someone doesn't understand the word. If one is not aware of being humbled, or mortified; or if one just doesn't feel that way, can one be humiliated without their knowledge?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 02:12 PM

Ahhh! Amos' purls of wisdom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 08 - 01:27 PM

As the old saw sayeth, good man of Emms, "some have greatness thrust upon them". Unfortunately even the sage who first said this could not foresee that it would be by a horde of maniacal knitters with long sharp needles. So, even though it is immortality itself which is offered, proceed, as you say, with due caution. Remember the old carpenter's maxim: "Knit twice, and purl once...".



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 08 - 11:53 AM

I tend to swing between awed incrudulessness and sheer panic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 08 - 11:51 AM

Wow! A thousand rabid followers, screaming for praise from their Leader, begging for your adulation, your blessing, your recognition.

DOesn't that just shake your skivvies?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 08 - 10:56 AM

MMarioKKnits


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 10:46 AM

It's never too late to learn to write bad poetry, Amos. That was a fine attempt.

What Yahoo group, MMario? The Yahoo International Porch Menders Guild?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 08 - 10:30 AM

On the other hand - my Yahoo group has over a thousand members - that's up 500 from april 1.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 08 - 10:24 AM

Poor old MM hurts his thigh,
Falling through the porch,
Now he limps as he goes by
Falls and hurts his zorch.
Pray his future has aplomb
From such harm him sparing;
He has this akin with Mom,
Both need some Rapairing.
Life is lonely, life is cruel,
Hardly ever fair.
May the future find us cool,
And in good Rapaire.




I know it's pathetic -- I was trying to fill the gap Rapaire has left, of generating really jejeune solipsistic verse. Writing badly is hard work, I will have you know.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 08 - 10:12 AM

Faster repaired then I - I've got a bunch of lacerations on one leg, hypoerextended thigh muscle on the other - but nothing broken; just left leg limited in motion right now and at random moments decides not to support any weight. Makes walking - or even limping, "interesting"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 10:04 AM

No news from Rapaire? I hope he isn't in gaol already--he didn't get time to tell MOM hello from his hotel or a cafe somewhere. She'll be disappointed.

How's that hole in the porch, MMario?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 08 - 09:22 AM

Nothing gets through the constructed world view of some people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 08 - 12:11 AM

Hey, MOM! I've been out kicking the Mudcat fire ant mounds tonight. So to speak.

Duck and cover. I collapsed the mounds for CarolC and teribus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 08 - 12:06 AM

Yeah. It's all a matter of semantics, right? ;-)

Just like invading a country that has never attacked you or done you any harm whatsoever, and supposedly doing it to stop Weapons of Mass Destruction that in fact don't exist is not........... terrorism?

Just a matter of semantics. So you call these people you invaded and whose country you have wrecked "terrorists" when they fight to get your soldiers out of their country.

Just a matter of semantics.

Then you call people in your country who oppose continuance of that unlawful action..."appeasers". Can you have appeasers on behalf of the victim of an unprovoked aggression????? That's hard to figure!

Just a matter of semantics.

The key principle behind fascism (other than ruthless use of armed force and unquestioning worship of the nation's military) is to tell outright absolute 100% lies that are the diametrical opposite of the truth, to accuse others of the crimes you yourself are committing, to do it with complete panach and with utter assurance. You will be believed by a surprising number of your own people if you do that.

Just a matter of semantics.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 08 - 10:07 PM

Cruel and unusual punishment is not condoned by the United States, Little Hawk. It violates basic human rights, according to our Constitution.

We could water-board him, though... Justice Scalia says that is not punishment.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 May 08 - 06:23 PM

I want to see him locked up in a cell with Shane and Don McBride. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 08 - 05:38 PM

Hey Mom! Don't worry about being half-way down the page again. Rapaire isn't here top ag and upbraid you. And any football player knows half a down is better than none.

So here's five yards for ya!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 08 - 04:01 PM

Hey, Mom!! You can stop crying...Rapaire isn't gay yet, as far as we know...we were just speculating what might happen if his rash obsession with weapons of manual destruction were to end up leaving him locked up with a cell-block of rabid leprechauns, ya know, but it might not happen...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 08 - 01:47 PM

It'll be a gay time for all, no mistake. He may not get an OScar, but he could end up being one...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 May 08 - 01:33 PM

Think he'll have a Wilde time in gaol?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 08 - 01:29 PM

Rapaire is o'er the ocean flying,
Hi ho, hi ho hum.
It ain't much fun, but it sure beats dying.
Hi ho, hi ho hum.
When he reaches the land of Erin's daughters
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,
He'll drink his full of their toxic waters
Hi, ho, hi ho hum

Hi, ho, the Shannon flows,
And Dublin's full of Guinness
He's not the tallest Yank they've seen
And surely not the thinnest.

And when Rapaire to Dublin comes
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,
They'll play a fife and beat a drum
Hi, ho, hi ho hum
But when the gardai see his heat
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,
They'll snatch his ass right off the street!
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,

Hi, ho, the Shannon flows,
And Dublin's full of Guinness
He's not the tallest Yank they've seen
And surely not the thinnest.

So now Rapaire to us is lost,
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,
The law he broke, the line he crossed!
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,
And weeps in Mountjoy Gaol 'til dawn
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,
Fending off brutal Leprechauns!
Hi, ho, hi ho hum,

Hi, ho, the Shannon flows,
And Dublin's full of Guinness
He's not the tallest Yank they've seen
And surely not the thinnest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 08 - 10:03 AM

MOM!!! Rapaire is being sanctimonious and condescending again!! Cancel his tickets!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 08 - 06:50 AM

"Gardai," Amos, not PCs. The singular is "garda." I explained this earlier.

MOM! Amos wasn't paying attention when I explained about Irish cops! Make him pay attention, okay Mom?

See you later, Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 May 08 - 11:19 PM

Have fun and don't do anything we wouldn't do. (And don't blame us when they arrest you or deport you.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 08 - 08:24 PM

Ha!! The PC's have been alerted and will be waiting for you with their truncheons ready, auld frien'.


Get some good whiskey for me.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 08 - 08:12 PM

So long, Mom.

I'm off to Ireland.

I'll be back this way again, can't say where, can't say when....

(Pay no attention to Amos. You know what he's like....)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 08 - 11:12 AM

I love playing MOAB Lotto. You roll your cursor over the Great Nummbers Grid at the top and randomly click the button. Then flick your scroll wheel a couple of times randomly and you land on some post from our dingy past, or our brilliant past, whatever... and see if it makes you smile. You can do this for hours, so rich is our store of past BS.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 08 - 11:01 AM

Well, you might haveblown the seal last night on your way back...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 08 - 09:56 AM

I'll take your word for it. I haven't had any ice cream since last night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 May 08 - 09:56 AM

Ouch! Mmario, you didn't wake up mom when you were busy crashing through the decking, did you? She wanted to enjoy the spring by sleeping with her quilts out on the porch swing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 08 - 09:55 AM

Oh. Then it must be just icecream.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 08 - 09:35 AM

Amos, I've never been intimate with a seal. They smell like fish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 May 08 - 09:03 AM

Hey MOM! You know that rotton spot in the flooring of the porch? Well, I got rid of it last night. It probably would have been better if I hadn't done it by breaking through and landing on my OTHER leg as I did it - but the important point is the rotton spot is gone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 08 - 02:00 AM

SIgh.

Looks llike ya blew a seal there, Rapaire...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 08 - 10:33 PM

Ol' Doc Magoffin went into the Legion Hovel last night and ordered a drink -- his usual, a daquari. He consumed it in record time and asked for another. "This one should be a different daquari," he said Lazy Lax, who was keeping the bar last night. He's called Lazy Lax because that's short for Laxative, which is his first name -- his whole name is Laxative Easily Goes Smith. He was named by his father, who got the name on the birth register before his mother could object and since he's not much good for anything except bartending he got the nickname "Lazy Lax."

He can't saw a cord of wood or even drive a nail to save his soul, but he's a natural bartender. He can whip up any drink called for without looking it up. Once I asked for a Sazerac and he replied, "Cain't. Ain't got the right bitters fer it." Anyway, he turned from Ol' Doc Magoffin and whipped up a drink, turned and set it in from of the Doc. There was something in the bottom and a chopstick sticking out.

"What," asked the Doc, "in the hell is THAT?"

Without missing a beat Lazy Lax replied, "Why, that's a hickory daquari, Doc."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 08 - 09:41 PM

Guy walked into a bar and danged near gave himself a concussion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 08 - 09:38 PM

Oh, I feel a heckuva lot better, Still, thanks!!

A penguin walked into a bar here in town and asked the barkeep, "Has my brother been in here?"

"I dunno," says the barkeep. "What's he look like?"

Badda-bong!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 May 08 - 06:34 PM

Don't worry, Amos. It isn't symetrical but it weighs the same.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 08 - 04:33 PM

There ARE no bad puns, Amos. Only ones you are sorry you didn't think of first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 08 - 04:29 PM

But I did get 25352, a bit back, so that's some small consolation.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 08 - 04:28 PM

On second thought, that is a really lousy number, and I take it all back. I don't know what I couldhave been thinking. All those bad puns from Rapaire are ruining my curveball.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 08 - 04:26 PM

Two three and five three five!


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