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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 11 Dec 07 - 03:24 PM
beardedbruce 11 Dec 07 - 03:01 PM
Amos 11 Dec 07 - 02:56 PM
beardedbruce 11 Dec 07 - 02:41 PM
Amos 11 Dec 07 - 02:29 PM
Amos 11 Dec 07 - 12:52 PM
Rapparee 11 Dec 07 - 12:31 PM
Rapparee 11 Dec 07 - 11:52 AM
MMario 11 Dec 07 - 10:33 AM
Acme 11 Dec 07 - 10:30 AM
Amos 11 Dec 07 - 10:24 AM
Rapparee 11 Dec 07 - 08:42 AM
Janie 11 Dec 07 - 06:35 AM
Amos 11 Dec 07 - 12:07 AM
Janie 10 Dec 07 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 07 - 09:31 PM
Amos 10 Dec 07 - 08:30 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 07 - 05:33 PM
Amos 10 Dec 07 - 05:17 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 07 - 03:40 PM
Amos 10 Dec 07 - 01:34 PM
MMario 10 Dec 07 - 12:41 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 07 - 12:26 PM
Amos 10 Dec 07 - 12:21 PM
Acme 10 Dec 07 - 12:05 PM
Amos 10 Dec 07 - 11:11 AM
Amos 10 Dec 07 - 10:24 AM
MMario 10 Dec 07 - 09:53 AM
Acme 10 Dec 07 - 09:51 AM
Rapparee 10 Dec 07 - 09:11 AM
Rapparee 10 Dec 07 - 12:05 AM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:34 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:31 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:31 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:31 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:30 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:29 PM
Rapparee 09 Dec 07 - 10:06 PM
Amos 09 Dec 07 - 09:34 PM
Amos 09 Dec 07 - 12:48 PM
Acme 09 Dec 07 - 11:13 AM
Amos 09 Dec 07 - 10:53 AM
Rapparee 09 Dec 07 - 08:50 AM
Amos 09 Dec 07 - 12:16 AM
Rapparee 08 Dec 07 - 10:26 PM
Amos 08 Dec 07 - 08:31 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 03:24 PM

Someone's knocking at the door, somebody's ringing the bell,
someone's knocking at the door, somebody's ringing the bell,
do me a favor, open the door and let 'em in.

Someone's knocking at the door, somebody's ringing the bell,
someone's knocking at the door, somebody's ringing the bell,
do me a favor, open the door and let 'em in.

Sister Stilly, brother MMario, Beardedbruce, Spaw and Peace,
uncle Amos, auntie Sins, open the door, let 'em in, oh yeah.


This is a brand new song I just stole rewrote plagarized wrote. Just keep singing the same things over and over until you're sick of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 03:01 PM

also true


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 02:56 PM

Me!!!!? ME!???? Hopw about that Rapaire? He's a complete lintel case on the subject. Totally over the threshold, jamb-for-brains lintel.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 02:41 PM

Amos,

This subject seems to have unhinged you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 02:29 PM

The problem with doors of this kind is only suppressed by getting them fixed. It fumes on below the surface, and then surfaces again once they have knobs on. The root of the issue is their having to survive as latch-key doors in their earliest years. They are left feeling blocked and shut off, and keeping everything inside. Not that the problem doesn't have to be addressed. All those feral doors running around could open Pandora's box, or leave us open to terrorists, or other universes, or just anything!! We cannot maintain a society of civilized conduct where the society is just wide open to anyone anywhere because of the attitude of a bunch of swingers. That's they key to remember when they bolt.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 12:52 PM

Well, it is, really, sir. The amount of deviant, cross-eyed codswallopery you have posted here under the guise of factual dissertation, you could have conducted an advanced course in Irish in half the space. But I do not hold this against you, as in fact I know we all have to live up to Mom's expectations. Remeber, though, when you point a finger like this, where the otherthree fingers point.

Furthermore, it does not require speaking Irish to simply attribute a creative work to its correct author. That's not a function of language but of basic human decency. A standard from which, I might add, I have often fallen short myself. Thank goodness our Mother raised us to be indifferent to scruples.

As an aside, I used to think that the scruple was the currency of Portugal, and that ten scruples equalled one more and ten mores equalled a lifestyle.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 12:31 PM

It's hardly MY fault you don't speak Irish, Amos. Or even own an Irish dictionary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 11:52 AM

At the moment we've just blocked it up so we don't even think of using it (it's levered back into the frame and locked as well). Getting someone to fix it right now is chancy at best. They're still building houses on spec around here, expecting Californios like Amos to move in and pay Big Buck$ for cheaply made houses.

The current estimate is that they'll sit empty for five or six years...costing the speculators tax money, repayment money, repairs as needed and so on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 10:33 AM

Responsible door owners should always get their doors fixed.

Otherwise the countryside will be overun with feral doors. When they aren't fixed doors tend to bang at the slightest provocation; they are open to any suggestion, and well, that just leads to swinging and then to....

let's just say it's a good thing to get a door fixed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 10:30 AM

D'you get your door fixed, Rap?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 10:24 AM

How interesting that your stirring poetic creation is so similar to this one:

The Rapparee   
(Tom Brett, James English, Seamus McGrath, Michael O'Brien)

My spurs are rusted, my coat is rent
My plume is damp with rain
And the thistledown and the barleybeard
Are thick on my horse's mane
But my rifle's as bright as my sweetheart's eyes
My arm is strong and free
What care have I for your king or laws?
I'm an outlawed rapparee

Lift your glasses, friends, with mine
And give your hand to me
I'm Englands foe, I'm Irelands friend
I'm an outlawed rapparee

The mountain cavern is my home
High up in the crystal air
And my bed of limestone ironribbed
And the brown heath smelling fair
Let George or William only send
His troops to burn or loot
We'll meet them up on equal ground
And we'll fight them foot to foot

Lift your glasses, friends, with mine
And give your hand to me
I'm Englands foe, I'm Irelands friend
I'm an outlawed rapparee

Hunted from out our father's home
Pursued by steel and shot
A bloody warfare we must wage
Or the gibbet be our lot
Hurrah! this war is welcome work
The hunted outlaw knows
He steps unto his country's love
O'er the corpses of his foes

Lift your glasses, friends, with mine
And give your hand to me
I'm Englands foe, I'm Irelands friend
I'm an outlawed rapparee



And notice how they spell it so sensibly!! Just the way it is pronounced.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 08:42 AM

My spurs are rusted, my coat is rent
My plume is damp with rain
And the thistledown and the barley beards
Are thick on my horse's mane.

But my rifle's as bright as my sweetheart's eye,
My arm is strong and free
What care have I for your king or laws?
I'm an outlawed Rapaire,
I'm an outlawed Rapaire.

CH: So lift your glasses friends with mine,
And give your hand to me!
I'm the tyrant's foe,
I'm freedom's friend,
I'm an outlawed Rapaire!


...and I ootshay ackbay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 06:35 AM

If he posts theAeniad in pig-latin latin, I may have to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 12:07 AM

Why...did you shoot Rapaire? I think it might be self defense.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 10:41 PM

Mother, forgive me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 09:31 PM

Yeah, but I'm going to post the entire Iliad (Pope's translation) and then the entire Aeniad (in Latin, of course) just like Stilly did "Barbara Fretchie."

Hmmm...maybe I'll post the Aeniad in pig Latin Latin....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 08:30 PM

"I sing of arms, and the man" sounds vaguely reminiscent of "Goddess, sing of Achille's wrath against the Greeks". Both use the fine frequencies of human aesthetics to glorify the bestiality of human insanity, not a very nice thing to do.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 05:33 PM

Arma virumque cano, Troiae qui primus ab oris
Italiam, fato profugus, Laviniaque venit
litora, multum ille et terris iactatus et alto
vi superum saevae memorem Iunonis ob iram;
multa quoque et bello passus, dum conderet urbem,               
inferretque deos Latio, genus unde Latinum,
Albanique patres, atque altae moenia Romae.

sounds like

Η οργή Αχιλλέα, στην Ελλάδα το τρομερό ελατήριο των θλίψεων θεϊκή θεά, τραγουδά! Εκείνη η οργή που θλιβερό βασιλεψτε οι ψυχές δυνατού πρόωρου προ!ισταμένων που σκοτώνεται Ποιά άκρα άταφα στη γυμνή ακτή, η καταβρόχθιση των σκυλιών και των πεινασμένων γύπων έσχισε. Δεδομένου ότι μεγάλοι Αχιλλέας και προσπάθησαν, τέτοιο ήταν η κυρίαρχη μοίρα, και η τέτοια θέληση!

???????

But I only wrote that little poem to show how much better yours are, Amos. My little verse cowers against the brillance of yours.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 05:17 PM

Well, that opening line sounded Virgilesque to me. Compare it the opening line of the Aenead and you will see what it is that fooled me. But I don't care. Your little poem was awful, so there.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 03:40 PM

Virgil, my bonny blue...bonnet.

If you knew Homer
Like I know Homer,
Oh, oh, oh what poet!
There's none so classy
As that Greek laddy
He even make Achilles classy!...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 01:34 PM

Virgil, yet. Oy, such tsuris you gimme, Rapaire.

And MM is right, you know. I can think of several examples which are battery-operated.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 12:41 PM

Rapire - you believe that old "What's good for the goose is good for the gander" stuff? How the heck have you survived this long.

Never, ever, EVER, assume that because it's okay for a woman it's okay for a man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 12:26 PM

Well, if it's okay for Stilly it's okay for Rapaire!

Achilles' wrath, to Greece the direful spring
Of woes unnumber'd, heavenly goddess, sing!
That wrath which hurl'd to Pluto's gloomy reign
The souls of mighty chiefs untimely slain;
Whose limbs unburied on the naked shore,
Devouring dogs and hungry vultures tore.
Since great Achilles and Atrides strove,
Such was the sovereign doom, and such the will of Jove!

Declare, O Muse! in what ill-fated hour
Sprung the fierce strife, from what offended power
Latona's son a dire contagion spread,
And heap'd the camp with mountains of the dead;
The king of men his reverent priest defied,
And for the king's offence the people died.

For Chryses sought with costly gifts to gain
His captive daughter from the victor's chain.
Suppliant the venerable father stands;
Apollo's awful ensigns grace his hands
By these he begs; and lowly bending down,
Extends the sceptre and the laurel crown
He sued to all, but chief implored for grace
The brother-kings, of Atreus' royal race
"Ye kings and warriors! may your vows be crown'd,
And Troy's proud walls lie level with the ground.
May Jove restore you when your toils are o'er
Safe to the pleasures of your native shore.
But, oh! relieve a wretched parent's pain,
And give Chryseis to these arms again;
If mercy fail, yet let my presents move,
And dread avenging Phoebus, son of Jove."

Or, to put the first stanza another way:

Η οργή Αχιλλέα, στην Ελλάδα το τρομερό ελατήριο των θλίψεων θεϊκή θεά, τραγουδά! Εκείνη η οργή που θλιβερό βασιλεψτε οι ψυχές δυνατού πρόωρου προ!ισταμένων που σκοτώνεται Ποιά άκρα άταφα στη γυμνή ακτή, η καταβρόχθιση των σκυλιών και των πεινασμένων γύπων έσχισε. Δεδομένου ότι μεγάλοι Αχιλλέας και προσπάθησαν, τέτοιο ήταν η κυρίαρχη μοίρα, και η τέτοια θέληση!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 12:21 PM

Oh. I agree, Still, but I don't think Martha Stewart would.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 12:05 PM

I chose a favorite old chestnut, full-bodied and with a real emotional bite at the end. Preceded by the prefab warning that I had to do some work before I went to bed. Clever, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 11:11 AM

Thanks and honors to Stilly for saving my poor brain from having to churn out thousands of fresh-blended-from-scratch quatrains, by providing us with store-boughten prefab ones. They taste okay, too, even if you don't know how they were made...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 10:24 AM

Um, Rapaire...I don't think you should be giving Mom Panama Gold this early in the morning. She'll be useless all day! Her lungs aren't what they used to be, also. And she's not used to modern levels of potency...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 09:53 AM

I don't think it was hickory smoked...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 09:51 AM

What, no thick-sliced hickory smoked bacon?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 09:11 AM

Good Morning, Mom! Isn't the sunrise lovely? Here's a cuppa Yorkshire Gold and your morning Panama Gold. The scones will be ready shortly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 12:05 AM

But I like the one about the young fellow from Kent! Or the one about the two old sisters of Birmingham!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:34 PM

Okay! Now you've had your bedtime poem, tomorrow is a school day, so go to bed!

21001


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM

Barbara Frietchie's work is o'er,   
And the Rebel rides on his raids no more.   
   
Honor to her! and let a tear   
Fall, for her sake, on Stonewall's bier.   
   
Over Barbara Frietchie's grave,   
Flag of Freedom and Union, wave!   
   
Peace and order and beauty draw   
Round thy symbol of light and law;   
   
And ever the stars above look down   
On thy stars below in Frederick town!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM

All day long through Frederick street   
Sounded the tread of marching feet:   
   
All day long that free flag tost   
Over the heads of the rebel host.   
   
Ever its torn folds rose and fell   
On the loyal winds that loved it well;   
   
And through the hill-gaps sunset light   
Shone over it with a warm good-night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM

A shade of sadness, a blush of shame,   
Over the face of the leader came;   
   
The nobler nature within him stirred   
To life at that woman's deed and word:   
   
"Who touches a hair of yon gray head   
Dies like a dog! March on!" he said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:32 PM

Quick, as it fell, from the broken staff   
Dame Barbara snatched the silken scarf;   
   
She leaned far out on the window-sill,   
And shook it forth with a royal will.   
   
"Shoot, if you must, this old gray head,   
But spare your country's flag," she said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:31 PM

Up the street came the rebel tread,   
Stonewall Jackson riding ahead.   
   
Under his slouched hat left and right   
He glanced: the old flag met his sight.   
   
"Halt!"?the dust-brown ranks stood fast,   
"Fire!"?out blazed the rifle-blast.   
   
It shivered the window, pane and sash;   
It rent the banner with seam and gash.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:31 PM

Bravest of all in Frederick town,   
She took up the flag the men hauled down;   
   
In her attic-window the staff she set,   
To show that one heart was loyal yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:31 PM

On that pleasant morn of the early fall   
When Lee marched over the mountain wall,?   
   
Over the mountains winding down,   
Horse and foot, into Frederick town.   
   
Forty flags with their silver stars,   
Forty flags with their crimson bars,   
   
Flapped in the morning wind: the sun   
Of noon looked down, and saw not one.   
   
Up rose old Barbara Frietchie then,   
Bowed with her fourscore years and ten;   


(more to come)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:30 PM

Barbara Frietchie

UP from the meadows rich with corn,   
Clear in the cool September morn,   
   
The clustered spires of Frederick stand   
Green-walled by the hills of Maryland.   
   
Round about them orchards sweep,         
Apple and peach tree fruited deep,   
   
Fair as a garden of the Lord   
To the eyes of the famished rebel horde,   

to be continued . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:29 PM

Thanks, Robert Frost! It smells like a snowy evening even if it isn't actually snowing.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here,
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer,
To stop without a farmhouse near,
Between the woods and frozen lake,
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake,
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep,
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 10:06 PM

I've told you and told you, Amos. Don't run with your rifle's safety off! I know you're getting older but you'll just have to remember to click the safety OFF before you shoot! If you keep it up I'll tell Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 09:34 PM

And as we stood beneath a tree,
Lost in a pensive ponder,
A crashing boom from over the hill
Made us jump and stare with wonder.
We could hear the brush being trod down
And we hardly dared to gape
For something big was crashing off
And making its escape.
We flipped our safetys and scrambled the ridge,
Heading to toward the vale away,
We could almost smell that giant beast,
The Twenty One of K.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 12:48 PM

The woods were still, and darkly deep,
And a wintry sun did shine,
Among the ancient oaks did creep
A band of single mind
Armed and intent, hearing each twig
And whisper through the oaks
Seeking the fabled Number Big,
Those stealthy stalking folk.

THey tiptoed past the sleeping vines
And started with each sound
Rapaire was tense, his rifle high,
While mine was pointing down.
We padded through the unmarked paths
In the whispering ancient pine.
Rapaire heard a snap, and fired fast
But it was only 8-8-9.

That number fled, and on we trod,
Pausing in silent awe;
Wearing our bright reflective vests,
Required by the law.
Our guns were oiled, our minds were sharp
And we followed the woodsman's way.
We were full intent on larger game,
The Twenty-One of K.

...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 11:13 AM

Winter arrived overnight. It's a rainy 40 degrees out there now; it was 65 yesterday morning. I don't think the back yard will get mowed again this year. Missing that last mow was worth it, though. Her grandmother and uncle are in town visiting her Dad and brother. We all piled in the pick'em up truck and went up to Denton to have a leisurely lunch with Moonglow and her boyfriend before they both had to go to work, then until next weekend they will cram study as much as possible. Final exams are this week.

MOM, I'm baking cookies this weekend. I'll bring you a tray of cookies when I have a few types to choose from. Have a seat by the window and stay warm. You might see a few folks running through the yard--pay them no mind. They're stalking that next big number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 10:53 AM

Oh, he was talking about spending forty days at a whack. Well that makes sense.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 08:50 AM

...Sometimes the criminal had to get to the church itself to be protected, and might have to ring a certain bell there, or hold a certain ring or door-knocker, or sit on a certain chair ("frith-stool"), and some of these items survive at various churches. In other places, there was an area around the church or abbey, sometimes extending as much as a mile and a half, and there would be stone "sanctuary crosses" marking the boundary of the area; some of those still exist as well. Thus it could become a race between the felon and medieval law officers to the nearest sanctuary boundary, and could make the serving of justice a difficult proposition.

Church sanctuaries were regulated by common law. An asylum seeker was to confess his sins, surrender his weapons, and be placed under the supervision of the head of the church or abbey where he had fled. He then had forty days to make one of two choices: surrender to secular authorities and stand trial for the crimes against him, or confess his guilt and be sent into exile (abjure the realm), by the shortest route and never return without the king's permission. Anyone who did come back could be executed by the law and/or excommunicated by the Church....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 12:16 AM

Uh-huuuuh!! That's gotta be true. He tole his mom and dad that at least six times.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 10:26 PM

We also prayed a lot, spending much time in church.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 08:31 PM

"S about right on. Plus occasional forays into overcoming free-market resistance in specialized commodities.

A


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