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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 14 Jun 10 - 10:55 AM
Acme 14 Jun 10 - 10:57 AM
Amos 14 Jun 10 - 11:23 AM
Little Hawk 14 Jun 10 - 01:48 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 10 - 03:20 PM
Acme 14 Jun 10 - 06:04 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 10 - 07:30 PM
Janie 14 Jun 10 - 09:15 PM
Eiseley 14 Jun 10 - 09:45 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 10 - 10:04 PM
Amos 14 Jun 10 - 10:36 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 10 - 11:10 PM
Janie 14 Jun 10 - 11:53 PM
Amos 14 Jun 10 - 11:55 PM
Janie 15 Jun 10 - 12:15 AM
Eiseley 15 Jun 10 - 12:19 AM
Eiseley 15 Jun 10 - 12:22 AM
Acme 15 Jun 10 - 09:47 AM
Eiseley 15 Jun 10 - 10:43 AM
Amos 15 Jun 10 - 11:07 AM
Amos 15 Jun 10 - 11:17 AM
Rapparee 15 Jun 10 - 12:56 PM
Amos 15 Jun 10 - 02:13 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 10 - 04:25 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 10 - 06:11 PM
Amos 15 Jun 10 - 06:33 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 10 - 06:37 PM
Amos 15 Jun 10 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 10 - 10:32 PM
Amos 15 Jun 10 - 11:03 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 10 - 11:17 PM
Acme 16 Jun 10 - 12:44 AM
Amos 16 Jun 10 - 10:20 AM
Acme 16 Jun 10 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 10 - 11:14 AM
Amos 16 Jun 10 - 11:54 AM
Amos 16 Jun 10 - 12:01 PM
Amos 16 Jun 10 - 12:14 PM
Amos 16 Jun 10 - 03:00 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 10 - 03:14 PM
Amos 16 Jun 10 - 04:01 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 10 - 04:07 PM
Amos 16 Jun 10 - 05:25 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 10 - 06:57 PM
Amos 16 Jun 10 - 07:10 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 10 - 07:46 PM
Amos 16 Jun 10 - 08:04 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 10 - 08:17 PM
Amos 16 Jun 10 - 08:37 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 10 - 10:30 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 10:55 AM

Hey, MOM!

I'm BACK! ( Does Amos really abuse chihuahuas?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 10:57 AM

I'm so sorry I missed your mess goof with the HTML, Janie. I've done that a few times myself - when you click "preview" and the entire screen wipes it self in a rainstorm of text sliding down the screen - that's pretty impressive. But when I do that I resist hitting "send." I know Joe's gonna say something about it otherwise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 11:23 AM

I wish I knew how to exercise such a nuclear option. But that's why I am still waiting for Joe's invitation to the Clone Hall Recruitment Party.

I have never even gotten close enough to a Chihuahua to abuse one, and I think Little Hawk's displacement from the coordinates generally referred to as "reality" is already legendary. Further, deponent need say not.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 01:48 PM

LOLOL!!!!!!

Those scripted insults going back and forth between Rapaire and Amos are about the funniest thing I've seen yet around here. They're quite challenging to read, but it's definitely worth it to persist, because the exquisitely crafted language in them is so utterly appropriate to the fancy script they are rendered in. Marvelous! Now just think how very odd it would be to see some of Shane's witless and crude comments put in such a dignified font.

It would boggle the mind.

Let's hope it never happens.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 03:20 PM

Mr. Amos and I are dignified gentlemen. Have a care, sir, or you might also be challenged.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 06:04 PM

You can't either of you use Eiseley as a second. And if you tried, the rest of us would give her permission to shoot the both of you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 07:30 PM

I taught her to shoot. I taught her to shoot every target except me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 09:15 PM

But, being the independent and erudite woman she is, she is well capable of formulating her own intent, and has displayed a wisdom beyond her tender years. MOM, Stilly and I all have confidence she is fully capable choosing a course of action appropriate to any occasion that may arise, even - dare I say....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 09:45 PM

Thank you for your kind words.

As tempting a target as Rapaire has proved at times, I prefer verbal clarity and written repartee to any recourse to physical violence, real or imagined. My boys agree that a fate worse than any duel is to have to sit and listen with strict attention to an indignant lecture on the evils of fighting and NOT GETTING ALONG WITH THE BROTHERS!!!! I think an apt punishment for the next would-be duelers would be to have to memorize the following poem by Eleanor Farjeon.

The Quarrel

I quarreled with my brother,
I don't know what about,
One thing led to another
And somehow we fell out.
The start of it was slight,
The end of it was strong,
He said he was right,
I knew he was wrong!
We hated one another.
The afternoon turned black.
Then suddenly my brother
Thumped me on the back,
And said, "Oh, come along!
We can't go on all night-
I was in the wrong." (15)
So he was in the right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 10:04 PM

I was angry with my brother
So he hit me in the head.
It wasn't that it hurt too much,
But Lordy! how it bled!
So I kicked him in the stomach
And he punched me in the mouth
His dinner came back up again
And my molars all "went south."
I gave him such a bloody nose
He gave the blackest eye
That ever was seen anywhere
He is that kind of guy.
I picked up a butcher knife
To poke him full of holes
And he grabbed a sawed-off shotgun
To make me food for moles.
But as I raised my knife to stab
The blade broke from the tang
And fell to the floor just at my feet
With a terrible awful clang.
He laughed at me! and raised his gun
And blew me all to hell
And that is why I'm still around
To tell this awful tale.

          --Prudence Charlotte Honeycomb
             Poems of Home and Hearth, 1883


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 10:36 PM

I quarreled with my brother, too!
But not from animosity.
I'd irked him by accusing him
Of blatant gross pomposity!
I'd called him every sort of name
A braggart and a bounder.
And said our Mom should not endure
To have his kind around her!
And he in turn, most deeply irked
Dug out his old Thesaurus
And called me sixteen kinds of oaf
And a brainless brontosaurus.
And so we while away the night
And on into the dawning
With verbal sallies, leaps and takes,
With Queens and Castles pawning.
But come the dawn we were too dazed
And exhausted to remember
Just what it was that began it all
Which flames grew from what embers!
And so we went up to our room,
And fluffed our little pillows,
And sank to sleep, while the morning lark
Sang sweetly from the willow.

Aberdeen Penbroke Featherstone III
Pennywhistle Tales of My Youth
Whittle-on-Pyne, 1911


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 11:10 PM

My brother was a stupid fool
A bounder and a cad
A poltroon, a newt, a crap-for-brains
A twit and really bad.
There was nothing good to say of him
The cowardly, whining, prat
He would snatch a wig from cancer kid
And trade it for a gat.
He cheated at cards, he loaded dice
He would backstab a poor old nun
There was nothing too low for him to try
Nothing under the sun.
We prayed for him both day and night
That he'd reform his ways
But we tracked him by his trail of slime
From Machiasport to Fort Hayes.
But he was lost to us we knew
Tho' we prayed for him, row on row,
When we learned he'd moved to Southern Cal
And the town called San Diego.

          --Ebeneezer Abner Postpartum
            Of Me and Mine: Poems of Family
            London-Unter-Thames, 1902


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 11:53 PM

Well met, to all of you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 11:55 PM

While mine went off to Idaho
In a violent paroxysm
And gave himself to blunderbusses,
Old tomes, and plagiarism.
He started claiming that he'd made
A religious innovation,
And everyone should honor him
As the Source of All Creation.
He yelled at all he met to bow
And yield unto his thunder.
And when these tales reached us, back home,
It made us all to wonder!
Dad was aghast! "No son of mine
Could stir up such a plight!"
And Mom just smiled, and said, "Well, Frank,
"At least you've got that right!"
ANd when they climbed by candle light
To bed, while we kids listened,
They were talking loud 'most all the night
And it warn't with rhymes, or kissin'.
And when I came back down the stairs
For eggs and bacon, then
I found my Dad had up and left,
And was never seen again.
But I don't blame my Dad, or Mom.
He was a good old fellow.
The one I blame's that dirty rat
Who moved to Pocatello.

Blackus Bartus, the Poe-8
Simco, Nevada
1913


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 12:15 AM

Not BS and not folk - I gotta a say it somewhere. After listening to the NPR interview and samples with Jeff Beck I up and bought his latest CD. God, what a master of the electric guitar, empowering all the wonderful music and sound to which that instrument has the capacity to give voice!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 12:19 AM

And wasn't that a beautiful tribute to Sandy Denny on NPR today! What a voice!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 12:22 AM


    Tweedledum and Tweedledee
       Agreed to have a battle!
    For Tweedledum said Tweedledee
       Had spoiled his nice new rattle.

    Just then flew down a monstrous crow,
       As black as a tar-barrel!
    Which frightened both the heroes so,
       They quite forgot their quarrel.


Lewis Heironymus Carroll
27 January 1832 ? 14 January 1898


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 09:47 AM

Well done, Eiseley! And what a wonderful little swirl of brotherly sentiment you all created.

I'm sure I'm not the first to wonder what each of you might manage to do in real life if you weren't generating these ditties for MOAB. Just thinking.

Janie, I missed that interview. I'll have to look for it. And Eiseley, I missed that one also. I have my radio bookmark now, I'll give it a workout if there are more interviews like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 10:43 AM

You're absolutely right!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 11:07 AM

I have vowed to ignore the skenningly ill-scansioned maunderings of Rapaire's doggerel as the ravings of a febrile and facinorous, ventripotent banderlog.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 11:17 AM

Rapaire is elevated to Sainthood by his people.

After the celebration, they all danced and swung through the treetops, yelling We are great! We are free! We are wonderful! We are the most wonderful people in all the jungle! We all say so, and so it must be true!!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 12:56 PM

John is my nephew, Amos.

Friedrich Dollmann (February 2, 1882 - June 28[1][2], 1944) was a German general during World War II, most notably serving during the early phases of the D-Day Invasion.

Born in 1882, Dollmann remained in the Reichswehr following service in World War I eventually commanding Mobilization District Wehrkreis IV by 1936. Promoted to generaloberst shortly after the start of World War II, Dollmann was given command of the German Seventh Army which he led during the six-week campaign against France. Assigned to occupation duty, Dollmann remained in France overseeing the defense of Brittany and Normandy in 1944. Expecting the Allied invasion in early June, Dollmann lowered the alert conditions after worsening weather conditions on June 4. Attending a map exercise during June 5-6, his command in Normandy took much of the early casualties during the initial Allied assault. Dollmann would continue to resist the Allied attack until his death on June 28, 1944, after learning he was going to be court martialed because of the fall of Cherbourg. Sources are not conclusive about the way Dollman died, some sources speak of a heart attack, others claim that he committed suicide by taking poison.


My dear old saintly grandmother claimed him as one of our family, and said that his death was due to his shame. Others think he was in the pay of the Allies and that was the real reason he lowered the alert level. Or it could simply have been his time to go. In any case, it was convenient for the Allies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 02:13 PM

This painting is based on the Rudyard Kipling The Jungle Book. It was exhibited at the Royal Academy in 1903.

Your nephew exhibited in 1903? I really must apologize for my rudeness--I had not realized how very well preserved you are!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 04:25 PM

Well, my family long, long ago discovered the Elixir of Life. Since this can be both a blessing and a curse (in our case and in the case of the rest of humanity a Blessing because you are blessed indeed with our presence) and so we haven't shared the secret until now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 06:11 PM

Sparing you Ye Eldrich Script in which Ye Receipt is written, here it is:

In a mortar place ye the dryied testyclees taken by ye Alchymyst from a living Wolfe with a sylver knyf during the lyght of ye Fulle Moone on St. John's Eve at Mydnyghte. Unto this add the freshly chapped heart of a Black Coque taken from ye coque while yt be crowing sunryse. With ye pestel grynd them together and work ynto ye mess oil of skynk whych hath for siks weeks been formented with thee dried powder of Devyl's Club. Add to this the yolks of three eggs (separated) and one cup of flour. Myx ye all of this wel. In ye separate bowl of coppyr beat ye eggs whytes untyl they do form soft peaks, and then folde into them the mixture aforesayd. Place all in ye alembric and heat over ye slow, slow fyre. When all is complete, take the lyquor thus ackwired and pour yt over powder of pure gold sufficyent to make a soft dough. Roll ynto pylls and bake for 30 minute in a 350 degree oven or until a toothpyck stuck into one comes away clean. Let them rest until the Comet of Halley's returns and then they will be full of vertue and good.

Now you know. Use the power carefully.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 06:33 PM

Dang, Sir Booque (Ret.), I'da thunk you sneaked back into the stacks and mixed up the pages of Ye Joye of Cooquinge with some old parchment from Chang Tao-Ling, the first Taoist pope, in the reign of the Emperor Kuang Wu Ti of the Hari dynasty and a chapter from theTabula Smaragdina of Hermes' era.

But if its all the same, you make it up and ship it to me, okay? I promise to swallow it whole cloth...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 06:37 PM

That is Forbidden. You must do the work your self. You might also ask you wife, er, wyfe, if she would do it for you. But for me to do it would reverse the effects and I doubt that you want to be a mewling, puking, diaper-dirtying infant again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 10:27 PM

Oh, well, I wouldn't want to infringe on your dramatization. Guess I'll pass. As for being an infant, I have done it so many times, I am pretty sure I have no qualms, but I am applying for an Off-the-Wheel Sabbatical grant this time. It would be nice to step back and just study the matter out instead of jut whipping around the loop one more ogddamned time, if you see what I mean.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 10:32 PM

Well, it could go the other way as well. How'd you like to be the Two Hundred Year Old Alcoholic or worse?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 11:03 PM

My, that's an impressive range of capabilities for an analog concoction, indeed. Downright Magickal!!

You try it, then, and let me know how it turns out. Despite the weathering in certain key areas, I have lived within this Mortale Temple for decades while maintaining a balanced personal outlook of around twenty-five years of age. Sometimes I backslide to eighteen, and sometimes the sorry pressure of events forces me to slide up to forty for a bit, but I usually manage to re-center myself.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 11:17 PM

You misunderstand. If you take elixir that was made by someone other than you or your wife (wyfe) it is THEN that you will slide all around the place. You could even cause your great-great-great grandmother to find herself in a "delicate way" and end up your own great-great uncle! It's a slippery thing if not done (and downed!) correctly.

By the way, it helps if the "wolfe" is rabid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 12:44 AM

Are you playing in the ether again, Rapaire?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 10:20 AM

I think the operative word is "sniffing".


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 10:36 AM

Maybe he's trying to find the source of "ether ore," sometimes misspelled as "either/or." This is one of those extremely misunderstood rare elements. As I'm sure all MOABites know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 11:14 AM

More one of them "if/then" or "who/me" type of statement I learned about when I got an "A" in Logic -- classical Logic, too! Just try me! I'll whip out a tautology or sorite so fast your head'll swim! I QED all over the place and let the distributed middles fall where they may! The best logicians live on Proposition Creek and I live at the source! When I was just a baby I choked a Fallacy to death with one hand while whomping out a truth table with the other! I kin out-think a De Morgan duality, and stomp any valency into the mud while explaining intuitionism, modality and dialectics to a group of kindergarten kids! I'm a syllogistic wolf and it's my day to howl!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 11:54 AM

Sure. Mining the Cosmos for aether ore (as it was once spelled) is one of the great out-of-body sports of the Victorian England Blavatsky crowd. This little known fact is one of the reasons why the development of hard-nosed science was such a sad error.

By the time Michelson and Morely set up their rig to measure the aether's inertial drag on the speed of light, scientists were embarassed to have anything to do with spiritualists, as just too undisciplined and out there to be seen in public with any self-respecting scientist.

As a result the experiments went ahead without the benefit of any aether ore experts or resources, and came up absolutely emptyhanded, thus deflectiong physical science into a trail of ruinous errors that have persisted to this day.

Just goes to show ya, doesn't it??


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 12:01 PM

The sorites paradox (σωρός sōros being Greek for "heap" and σωρείτης sōreitēs a derived adjective meaning "heaped up") is a paradox that arises from vague predicates. The paradox of the heap is an example of this paradox which arises when one considers a heap of sand, from which grains are individually removed. Is it still a heap when only one grain remains? If not, when did it change from a heap to a non-heap?

Thus, when Rapaire produces a heaping heap of BS, if you remove one false datum from it, is it still a heap of BS? Is this sort of heaping helping? Does he need help heaping? Who does it serve, and is it a heaping serving? Most important, how many ridiculous assertions would one have to delete before the result was merely, say, a fiction rather than a heap of BS? Vague predicates, indeed.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 12:14 PM

"Another approach is to use hysteresis?that is, knowledge of what the collection of sand started as. Equivalent amounts of sand may be called heaps or not based on how they got there. If a large heap (indisputably described as a heap) is slowly diminished, it preserves its "heap status" to a point, even as the actual amount of sand is reduced to a smaller number of grains. The idea is that, for example, let's say 500 grains is a pile and 1,000 grains is a heap. There will be an overlap for these states. So if you are reducing it from a heap to a pile, it is a heap going down until, let's say, 750. At that point you would stop calling it a heap and start calling it a pile. But if you replace one grain, it would not instantly turn back into a heap. When going up it would remain a pile until, say, 900 grains. The numbers picked are arbitrary, the point is that the same amount can be either a heap or a pile depending on what it was before the change. A common use of hysteresis would be the thermostat for air conditioning, the AC is set at 77 °F and it then cools down to just below 77 °F, but does not turn on again instantly at 77.001 °F, it waits until almost 78 °F degrees, to prevent instant change of state over and over again.[4]" (Wikipedia, discussion of the sores paradox.)

This really casts some light on the issue. I think it is hysteresis that generates Rapaire's heapof BS in the first place, and this in turn opens the door to resolving the paradox by administering Xanax to optimize the hysteresis levels.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 03:00 PM

He who letteth Mom fall low
Ne'er to Heaven shall he go.
He who brings her up again
Shall be Jesus' constant friend.
He who never Mom denied,
In the clouds he shall abide.
But woe to him who posteth not,
For he shall sleep on Satan's cot.

Paiseley Parseley Anthyme
God Loves Our Mom, You See
from Collected Verses of Juvenile Sucrose
Barf, Guhagg and Pewque, pubs.
Jejeune Precious Press, Tunbridge Wells, 1894


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 03:14 PM

As Gibson or Camp, one or the other, said, "It takes a heap o' heapin' to make a heap of heap."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 04:01 PM

de Morgan's Duality Law


For every proposition involving logical addition and multiplication ("or" and "and"), there is a corresponding proposition in which the words "addition" and "multiplication" are interchanged.


Weisstein, Eric W. "de Morgan's Duality Law." From MathWorld--A Wolfram Web Resource. http://mathworld.wolfram.com/deMorgansDualityLaw.html

Types of valency
There are several types of valency:

an avalent verb takes no arguments, e.g. It rains. (Though it is technically the subject of the verb in English, it is only a dummy subject, that is a syntactic placeholder with no true meaning. No other subject can replace it.)
an monovalent verb takes one argument, e.g. He sleeps.
a divalent verb takes two, e.g. He kicks the ball.
a trivalent verb takes three, e.g. He gives her a flower.
a tetravalent verb takes four. They are uncommon, perhaps non-existent in English. Maybe for example: He sold you a shirt for 9 bucks.
The verb requires all of these arguments in a well-formed sentence, although they can sometimes undergo valency reduction or expansion.

For instance, to eat is naturally divalent, as in he eats an apple, but may be reduced to monovalency in he eats. This is called valency reduction.

Verbs that are usually monovalent, like to sleep, cannot take a direct object. However, there are cases where the valency of such verbs can be expanded, for instance in He sleeps the sleep of death. This is called valency expansion.

Verb valence can also be described in terms of syntactic versus semantic criteria. The syntactic valency of a verb refers to the number of dependent arguments that the verb can have, while semantic valence describes the thematic relations associated with a verb.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 04:07 PM

Did I mention my graduate level courses in linguistics?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 05:25 PM

Why, no, you didn't!! I expect you were being modest and didn't want to assert yourself, throw your weight around, toot your own horn, transmit gasconades, boast, engage in profligate jactitation, bluster, vaunt, swash or ostentate, knowing well that such behaviors are below all standards of decent or honorable behavior. That's probably why you never mentioned it, don't you think?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 06:57 PM

Watch it, dude. I've also got 21 semester hours of Theology, and I ain't afraid to use it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 07:10 PM

Oh my!! I am impressed. You must know all about those obscure teachings, huh? Like the ones about brass bells being similar to the sound of those who assert their theological depths, or something. Oh, and the one about the house built on sand...or the eye of a needle...and all that stuff about humility in one or another guise...I bet you could recite it all, Chapter and Verse, even the comparable ones from Lao Tsu and Gautama and those other far out cats. You are certainly The Man, brain-wise. Awesome, eh?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 07:46 PM

Yes, yes, I am. And humble. As I've said before, I'm very proud of my humility.

I also have 21 semester hours in Philosophy and the same in Theater. But it's not necessarily the sign of a superb, nay, nearly supernatural, intelligence. It can also be a sign of screwing around too much as an undergraduate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 08:04 PM

Well, my goodness! A modicum of humility in such a vast, wide, deep sea of tacky self-importance is good leavening I suppose. Really, though, don't overdo that part. It might not ring true, somehow.

So maybe you could help me with a conundrum I have been wrestling with!

If you're trying to impress someone, say, and you succeed, should you keep on saying impressive things. to increase the perceived awesomeness with which you have impressed them? Or should there be some kind of limit in such an exercise? I just can't figure this out but I am sure you can do so in the very twinkling of an ego!!

Thanks so much,


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 08:17 PM

You should let them discover your hidden treasures, just as I have done. For instance, were you to set out to impress me, you would come across as a nice guy who just happens to have a graduate degree in technology and who holds or shares a patent or two. Maybe first you'd let me know about your hard-rock mining experience or your career as a seaman. Bit eventually the Awful Truth would come out: you play banjo. This would not lower you one whit in my estimation, but it would excite my pity that such talent wasn't used for God's Own Instrument, the trumpet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 08:37 PM

Wow, that's good advice, and surprising, too. I never would have taken you for a man whose pity was so over-excitable, but it goes to show, ya never know.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 10:30 PM

Oh, I pity da fools. I pity da fools. Trumpet, the Divine Instrument. Mentioned in the Bible, in Dante's Inferno, played by The Greatest Musicians. It is a little known fact that Mendelsohn, all of the Bachs, Beethoven, Brahms, Wagner, Davis, Parker, Léonin, Vitry, Mozart (father and son), Aimeric de Belenoi, Aimeric de Peguilhan, Albertet de Sestaro, Hildegard von Bingen, the Geisslerlieder, Roy Henry, John Dunstable, Corvus Corax, Joshua, Armstrong, Beiderbecke, Gillespie, Mangione, Marsalis, Tchaikovsky, Oliver, Young, Vu, Jessup and almost every other composer of note used the trumpet as their primary instrument of inspiration. It can truly be said civilization, true civilization, has been built to the notes of the trumpet (and similar instruments such as the cornet and flugelhorn). Nowhere does it say that the walls of Jericho were toppled by someone playing a piano, the cavalry does not arrive in the nick of time to the tune of a violin, and the Last Trump will be sounded by (what else?) at trumpet. Imagine the confusion if the End of the World was heralded by a clarinet or a guitar or a saxophone! But I cannot pity you too much, if at all, for you did have the good sense to father a trumpeter. If you don't believe me, ask her.


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