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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 29 Mar 07 - 08:47 PM
Amos 29 Mar 07 - 06:04 PM
Acme 29 Mar 07 - 03:30 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 07 - 03:27 PM
Amos 29 Mar 07 - 03:04 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 07 - 01:42 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 07 - 12:34 PM
Amos 29 Mar 07 - 11:48 AM
Rapparee 29 Mar 07 - 11:02 AM
Amos 29 Mar 07 - 10:01 AM
Rapparee 29 Mar 07 - 09:12 AM
Amos 29 Mar 07 - 09:04 AM
MMario 29 Mar 07 - 08:45 AM
Rapparee 28 Mar 07 - 11:15 PM
Amos 28 Mar 07 - 10:27 PM
Amos 28 Mar 07 - 04:35 PM
Amos 28 Mar 07 - 04:33 PM
Rapparee 28 Mar 07 - 04:23 PM
Rapparee 28 Mar 07 - 04:21 PM
Amos 28 Mar 07 - 03:08 PM
Amos 28 Mar 07 - 10:30 AM
Amos 28 Mar 07 - 10:18 AM
Acme 28 Mar 07 - 09:47 AM
Amos 28 Mar 07 - 09:44 AM
Rapparee 28 Mar 07 - 09:15 AM
MMario 28 Mar 07 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 28 Mar 07 - 09:14 AM
MMario 28 Mar 07 - 09:08 AM
Amos 28 Mar 07 - 12:04 AM
Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 08:43 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 05:54 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 05:34 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 04:35 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 04:31 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 03:58 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 03:22 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 01:18 PM
MMario 27 Mar 07 - 12:27 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 12:19 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 12:08 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 10:41 AM
MMario 27 Mar 07 - 10:32 AM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 10:24 AM
MMario 27 Mar 07 - 09:42 AM
Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 09:41 AM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 12:56 AM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 12:54 AM
GUEST 27 Mar 07 - 12:19 AM
Acme 26 Mar 07 - 10:46 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 10:30 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 08:47 PM

This is what one of the links below says:

God Wants You Well
See What God Has Provided For His
Children to Lose Weight Naturally!

I didn't click on it, mostly because I figger God has bigger things on her mind than how much I weigh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 06:04 PM

Do not a liar AND a whiner be,
For such, abjuring truth, cannot be Free,
Teach then your daughters this, likewise your sons:
Lie well, or whine; but never both at once.

Antony Da Moufa da Weazel da Thoid
South Chimes, New Joisey
(Oral performance)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 03:30 PM

Sticking my head in for a quick hello.

I've been trying to get my computer to do something it isn't programmed to do. Tough thing, that. I bought a movie from Europe that I knew wouldn't play on the DVD player but thought it would play on the computer. Nope. And there are programs that are supposed to help with this, but so far they don't. Idiot film producers, trying to control the marketplace with these idiotic zones, but I bet they'd sell a lot more videos if everyone could see any of them.

Okay, back to work. And to occasional tinkering with the software.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 03:27 PM

Mom! Amos is using big words again! Words that only him and me know what they mean! You told him to eschew such banal utterances! Mom! Make him stop, desist, cease, halt, hold, freeze, conclude, terminate, and have done with such. Mom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 03:04 PM

Either that, or your entire logorrheic spasm was. I am inclined to the latter interpretation, myself.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 01:42 PM

Ergo, Truth as a defense is illusional.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 12:34 PM

The Truth is ALWAYS a valid defense! As Davy Crockett taught me, "Be sure you're right and then go ahead!" The Truth will set me free! Beauty is Truth, Truth Beauty/This is all you know and all you need to know! Truth is the silliest thing under the sun. When truth is nothing but the truth, it's unnatural, it's an abstraction that resembles nothing in the real world. Truth always rests with the minority, and the minority is always stronger than the majority, because the minority is generally formed by those who really have an opinion, while the strength of a majority is illusory, formed by the gangs who have no opinion?and who, therefore, in the next instant (when it is evident that the minority is the stronger) assume its opinion ... while Truth again reverts to a new minority. Truth is always a delusion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 11:48 AM

Then there is no excuse; innocence on the grounds of insanity has just been proven to be inapplicable. There will be a letter from Kantwee, Fugham and Howe along in the next mail, representing the interests of the Amos Anti-Defamation League.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 11:02 AM

I am not now, nor have I ever been, a supporter of George W. Bush. And I'm not going to put my hands there to be one. Let him use Laura.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 10:01 AM

There you go agtain.

Are you SURE you're not a Republican? Maybe even a secret supporter of W?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 09:12 AM

Mom, I unintentionally fibbed about Amos. He doesn't drink things like after shave; he much prefers Boone's Farm or Bartell & James, when he can panhandle enough money for some..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 09:04 AM

Mom, if Rapaire lies to you should I say anything? Or would you rather let him make you stupid?

Just asking.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 08:45 AM

[[places Nice hot (freshly made from scratch by hand) pecan crumpets and a pot of Irish Breakfast tea; on a tray with lace placemat and a small vase of crocus]]

Good morning MOM!

I brought you breakfast!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 11:15 PM

Mom, I haven't posted here in a few hours because I wanted Amos to be able to revel in his achievement. It takes so very little to amuse him, you know, and I wouldn't want to "queer the do" (as the song says). Amos doesn't ask much, I guess -- a crust of moldy bread now and then, some methalated spirits or shaving lotion to wash it down with, underwear that's not been worn continuously for more than three or four weeks -- you know the sort of things he likes.

Yes, I know that he's been a bit of a disappointment to you, but then he's been a disappointment to all of us. So I don't see why we shouldn't let him have his little joys and pleasures.

Poor chap gets so very few of them....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 10:27 PM

Sigh. See, Mom? I'm the only one who cares about you. None of the others... OH! I'm sorry. That was plagiarism, wasn't it? I'll send a nickel to Pocatello at once.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 04:35 PM

And wytha flaire, he cryed, for alle to see,
"Now do wee alle sixteene-aight hunnert Bee!"


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 04:33 PM

"Then cryeed the Knight, "Nowe, bye mye bottle,
I do confesse I am an Axolotl!
Yea, 'tis truth, 'tis truth,
An ever I woulde speake ye sooth,
An vow I to you alle, I shalle not pander
In praying to become ye Saleamander."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 04:23 PM

That was from the Albert Greathouse Manuscript, what is left of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 04:21 PM

Speaketh up Sir Amos bolde

Stronge his arm and axillae withalle

Sir Amos who with grontes golde

Did sore ycled and yield trallalle!

Sayethe he This doth become

Naughte butte a way to theel and thum

All dawn til duske doth beate a drumme

And I hath feeleth mickle dum!

Nonne answerd him nonne to he spok

Yet perchance a yonge afrited byrd

Didst gyre and snatche a frogge to croke

And swiven swan untille it broke!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 03:08 PM

As cruced yee Sonne across the towering Skye
To myne companions bolde I sayde, sayde I,
"Gude friendes, for Jesu' sake, then strive,
For wee are at syxtene and saevin-nynety-five!

"And fayne I woulde Oure Mothere Fayre uplift,
Ande unto Herre bestow the rairest Gyfte,
By gentle Spyryte and bye Helpin Hande,
To bring herre to Ye Seyventeen of Grande!"

Up spayke the Knighte, the bold Rapaire Yclept,
And said, "The land arounde I have beSwepte!
No Ennemie nor Hurdle lurketh there!"
And so assured us alle, Ye Bold Rapaire.

And thene stept Upp ye tender maiden Stilly,
Who blushing sayde, "An it does note Sounde Sillye,
I wille Myselfe to show here Any Manne,
That I in postes Out Number alle canne."

Thene chimed up Mario, a Manne of Emms,
Who well-reknownd was for Verse and Phlegm,
Ande kindly sayde, "Goode lasse, Bee note afrayde!"
Ande att her Feete, hise Posting Swourd he layde.


(These lines are all that remain of a much large parchment found in water-stained decomposed condition in an excavation recently performed at Outeback-under-Bog, a small village in Northwest Birdsex.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 10:30 AM

I wrote the purple ptarmigan.
I'm sad to say I wrote it.
But you can buy the farm again,
Just go ahead and quote it.

Wilson Puckerup Taimly
Kissing Cousins and Their Secrets
Wichita, 1953


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 10:18 AM

I never saw a purple ptarmigan;
I never hope to see one.
But unless the Japanese re-arm again,
I'd rather see than be one!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 09:47 AM

Meanwhile. . . I have an aubergine in my fridge for dinner tonight. I'll use a spatula to move the cooked slices out of the hot oil as I make eggplant parmigiana. (Spell check offered me the Italian spelling for "parmegian," or the option to remove eggplant ptarmigan with my spatula. I draw the line at this point. Besides, ptarmigan aren't purple.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 09:44 AM

The new modesty seems strained. Who are you and what have you done with Rapaire? We can find you, you know...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 09:15 AM

Well, I have to buy a set of                   today, so that we can do RSS and similar things at work. I might buy two of them -- depends on the cost.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 09:15 AM

not side-splittingly funny - but amusing enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 09:14 AM

I recently purchased some vegetables so that I could hide the   
decayed mangoes we ran above the ceiling tiles in the basement. Of course, I had to buy some Cream of Wheat or it would show, but "very flat black" works well. Also, we got the ground-penetrating radar installed, so the guest room aspect of the basement is ready to go as soon as I do some touch-up. We've gotten a pair of extra-long   
dachshunds, and if anyone wants to come visiting just let me know!

How's that, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 09:08 AM

It's a MOAB Mad-lib!



1) a vegetable

2) an adjective and a fruit

3) your favorite cereal

4) an electronic apparatus

5) a pet


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 12:04 AM

That is really tempting.

You are such a weisenheimer!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 08:43 PM

I recently purchased some          so that I could hide the                               we ran above the ceiling tiles in the basement. Of course, I had to buy some               or it would show, but "very flat black" works well. Also, we got the                installed, so the guest room aspect of the basement is ready to go as soon as I do some touch-up. We've gotten a pair of extra-long             , and if anyone wants to come visiting just let me know!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 05:54 PM

Oh, fir, sirrah!! You are projecting again. I wouldn't have a green laser rapier if you offered me one.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 05:34 PM

Brag, no. State a fact, yes. But your jealousy of my recently acquired rapier and my green laser pointer is so overwhelming that I shall never say anything at all every again about stuff. Not even that I was recently informed that I won a big lottery I don't remember entering.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 04:35 PM

I seem to recall someone bragging about a green laser-stick because it was so geeky...and accusing someone else of envy over it. Oh, and a certain newly acquired sword, and some other odds and ends.

Bluff and posture if you will, but I am confident in my analysis.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 04:31 PM

Amos, Amos. I do not "brag" about what I have. Were I to do so I would brag about having rhythmn, having music, having my girl, and who could ask for anything more? I packed up all my cares and woes and left my troubles on the doorstep when I set sail on the GS Lollipop to search for where the Big Rock Candy Mountain, 'way up high, overlooks Fiddler's Green, at the hour when the ship comes in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 03:58 PM

Knowing you, if you HAD one, ya woulda been bragging about it long since; ergo, quod erat demonstrarum, post hoc ET propter hoc.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 03:22 PM

What makes you think I don't already have one?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 01:18 PM

The projection would of course get larger to scale as the projector moved away from the target plane. They moved them close together for the purpose of the photo, I suspect.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:27 PM

if that is suppossed to be a full size keyboard then the unit is considerably larger then a matchbook. By about 1600 % I would guestimate, mayhaps more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:19 PM

Dude, if you want to look like an übergeek, pull this out of your pocket and start typing on the wall.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:08 PM

The first letters spell "BPSSSMTHPBCAA" which is the sound a flat cat makes when it's angry.

True, a simple laser pointer isn't the essence of geekdom. But a green laser from Thinkgeek makes you one of the smart masses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 10:41 AM

Besides which, pointing at PowerPoints with a laser beam is not the earmark of Geekdom, but of being A Bureaucrat. Ther is still a difference.

B is for Bureaucrat, boss of us all,
Pointing at Powerpoint slides on the wall,
Speaking in poly-syllabic exhortions,
Subscribing to bureaucrat-mindset distortion.
Salaried Bureucrat, well-fed and placid,
Messing up workers with mandates half-asséd
Thinking in boxes, and process, and flow,
Half-human above and necrotic below;
Prince of the org chart, and office-ware fashion,
But short of emotion, and empty of passion.
Child, take a warning, when seeking a hat,
And do not aspire to become someone fat,
A dull-witted slide-showing fat Bureaucrat.

Purdy Darnslick
Country LEssons in a City Soul and other Rhymes
Painful, Sloe, Lehrner, New Athens, 1957


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 10:32 AM

MOM!

Amos and Rap are havin' a geek-war!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 10:24 AM

Thinking that a green laser-pointer makes you a geek, good Sir, is kind of like the error in which one thinks that having a penis makes him a lover.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 09:42 AM

You thought the comment about Hazel Stone went unnoticed, didn't you Rapaire?

She's a pretty good topic of conversation; though those hoodlum grandsons of hers will cause trouble if they catch you looking at her photos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 09:41 AM

Jealousy. Envy. I'm a geek and Amos ain't, ha ha ha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:56 AM

And a very happy 16770 to you all.

Buck Rogers


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:54 AM



GLUON!!!.........GLUON!!!.......Bring that cookie back here, Gluon!!!!Her, Gluon!! Here, Gluon !!! Bring the goddamned cookie here!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:19 AM

It may be useful if you ever go deep down in salt water looking for those cast-off tomes.

Especially when it is mimsy among the borogroves, which makes the tomes wax outgrabe.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 10:46 PM

Pat: "Turn that thing off and go to sleep. You're going to catch the blankets on fire."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 10:30 PM

And at night, like now, you can actually see the laser beam. Light saber!!!


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