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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 04:31 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 03:58 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 03:22 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 01:18 PM
MMario 27 Mar 07 - 12:27 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 12:19 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 12:08 PM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 10:41 AM
MMario 27 Mar 07 - 10:32 AM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 10:24 AM
MMario 27 Mar 07 - 09:42 AM
Rapparee 27 Mar 07 - 09:41 AM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 12:56 AM
Amos 27 Mar 07 - 12:54 AM
GUEST 27 Mar 07 - 12:19 AM
Acme 26 Mar 07 - 10:46 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 10:30 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 10:26 PM
Acme 26 Mar 07 - 10:21 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 09:06 PM
Amos 26 Mar 07 - 08:10 PM
Amos 26 Mar 07 - 08:07 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 07:10 PM
MMario 26 Mar 07 - 04:23 PM
Amos 26 Mar 07 - 04:20 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 03:12 PM
Amos 26 Mar 07 - 01:34 PM
Acme 26 Mar 07 - 01:29 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 12:55 PM
Amos 26 Mar 07 - 12:20 PM
Amos 26 Mar 07 - 12:09 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 12:08 PM
Acme 26 Mar 07 - 10:30 AM
Rapparee 26 Mar 07 - 08:49 AM
Amos 26 Mar 07 - 12:38 AM
Rapparee 25 Mar 07 - 08:52 PM
Acme 25 Mar 07 - 08:49 PM
Rapparee 25 Mar 07 - 06:30 PM
Amos 25 Mar 07 - 04:36 PM
Rapparee 25 Mar 07 - 11:08 AM
Amos 25 Mar 07 - 08:38 AM
Acme 25 Mar 07 - 01:56 AM
Amos 25 Mar 07 - 12:57 AM
Acme 24 Mar 07 - 10:30 PM
Rapparee 24 Mar 07 - 09:29 PM
Amos 24 Mar 07 - 08:24 PM
Acme 24 Mar 07 - 12:53 PM
Amos 24 Mar 07 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 24 Mar 07 - 10:50 AM
Amos 24 Mar 07 - 10:26 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 04:31 PM

Amos, Amos. I do not "brag" about what I have. Were I to do so I would brag about having rhythmn, having music, having my girl, and who could ask for anything more? I packed up all my cares and woes and left my troubles on the doorstep when I set sail on the GS Lollipop to search for where the Big Rock Candy Mountain, 'way up high, overlooks Fiddler's Green, at the hour when the ship comes in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 03:58 PM

Knowing you, if you HAD one, ya woulda been bragging about it long since; ergo, quod erat demonstrarum, post hoc ET propter hoc.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 03:22 PM

What makes you think I don't already have one?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 01:18 PM

The projection would of course get larger to scale as the projector moved away from the target plane. They moved them close together for the purpose of the photo, I suspect.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:27 PM

if that is suppossed to be a full size keyboard then the unit is considerably larger then a matchbook. By about 1600 % I would guestimate, mayhaps more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:19 PM

Dude, if you want to look like an übergeek, pull this out of your pocket and start typing on the wall.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:08 PM

The first letters spell "BPSSSMTHPBCAA" which is the sound a flat cat makes when it's angry.

True, a simple laser pointer isn't the essence of geekdom. But a green laser from Thinkgeek makes you one of the smart masses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 10:41 AM

Besides which, pointing at PowerPoints with a laser beam is not the earmark of Geekdom, but of being A Bureaucrat. Ther is still a difference.

B is for Bureaucrat, boss of us all,
Pointing at Powerpoint slides on the wall,
Speaking in poly-syllabic exhortions,
Subscribing to bureaucrat-mindset distortion.
Salaried Bureucrat, well-fed and placid,
Messing up workers with mandates half-asséd
Thinking in boxes, and process, and flow,
Half-human above and necrotic below;
Prince of the org chart, and office-ware fashion,
But short of emotion, and empty of passion.
Child, take a warning, when seeking a hat,
And do not aspire to become someone fat,
A dull-witted slide-showing fat Bureaucrat.

Purdy Darnslick
Country LEssons in a City Soul and other Rhymes
Painful, Sloe, Lehrner, New Athens, 1957


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 10:32 AM

MOM!

Amos and Rap are havin' a geek-war!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 10:24 AM

Thinking that a green laser-pointer makes you a geek, good Sir, is kind of like the error in which one thinks that having a penis makes him a lover.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 09:42 AM

You thought the comment about Hazel Stone went unnoticed, didn't you Rapaire?

She's a pretty good topic of conversation; though those hoodlum grandsons of hers will cause trouble if they catch you looking at her photos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 09:41 AM

Jealousy. Envy. I'm a geek and Amos ain't, ha ha ha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:56 AM

And a very happy 16770 to you all.

Buck Rogers


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:54 AM



GLUON!!!.........GLUON!!!.......Bring that cookie back here, Gluon!!!!Her, Gluon!! Here, Gluon !!! Bring the goddamned cookie here!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 12:19 AM

It may be useful if you ever go deep down in salt water looking for those cast-off tomes.

Especially when it is mimsy among the borogroves, which makes the tomes wax outgrabe.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 10:46 PM

Pat: "Turn that thing off and go to sleep. You're going to catch the blankets on fire."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 10:30 PM

And at night, like now, you can actually see the laser beam. Light saber!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 10:26 PM

No, I have it because I can. It's kinda cool when the beam hits cut crystal, and on one color of bright pink it turn bright gold.

Of course, it WOULD be really neat if it DID burn holes in stuff....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 10:21 PM

A mile and a half range? To hit a powerpoint program screen across the room? Now that's overkill. I bet you have it to try to burn holes in something. Quilts? Forests? Airplanes? Fess up. They'll go easier on you if you haven't done it yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 09:06 PM

The City's CFO has been pointing out things on proposed-budget Powerpoint slides with his red laser for a couple years now. I will use my GREEN laser to do the same sort of thing, only I will be much, much cooler because EVERYBODY has a red laser.

Besides, Amos, if you gotta ask, you ain't a geek!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 08:10 PM

Mom, I'll be away for a couple of days while I build a new system. So, keep Rapaire and Stilly in line for me, and Bunn and Little Hawk and the dogduck and MMMMMario. Make them do chores or something.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 08:07 PM

Aside from scouting around underwater for books jettisoned by guilty high-school students, what will you use your new green laser for, Rapaire?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 07:10 PM

Yeah, there are. But they don't like to admit it. Mowgli, it seems, was the nasty sort of drunk who felt it the height of humor to throw up on your good shoes. Mowgli isn't discussed much in Legion. Hazel Stone, on the other hand....

But what I wanted to tell Mom is that my green laser pointer came! Wavelength of 532 nm, <5 mW output (wish it was lots more!), and a range of over 9,000 ft. The only things cooler would be a) lots more output or b) a blue laser pointer, only they cost over US $2,000.00 and this was less than $90, exclusive of shipping. (I promised Mom not to look down the barrel or shine it in anyone's eyes.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 04:23 PM

oh wow! I never realized that The Banderlog were a branch of the Legion - or is it vice-versa?

So are there any guys left who knew Mowgli "back when"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 04:20 PM

No need to get TOO snooty, Mister R. You may recall that Idaho is where that drunken, besotted, immoral, banderlogue clan of a Legion calls home.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 03:12 PM

Well, Amos, I guess you get the chose where to live. And if you want to live near a place where gray whales and porpoises engage in...well, it's your choice. Now here in Idaho the porpoises and dolphins and whales are all well-behaved and good, upstanding citizens. Just the other day a police officer had to order one of THOSE sorts, a dolphin, out of the river and was chittered at for his efforts! Subsequent investigation showed that the dolphin had recently moved here from Southern California.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 01:34 PM

Wow... you guys are hot, hot, hot!! Pssssss----owwwoooooo!


LOL! Immoral porpoises are not made welcome here in San Diego. THey are turned back at the entrance to San Diego Bay and invited to move on down toward Baja. They can go frolic with those low-class gray whales in Bahia de los Angleles who can't think of anything but breed, breed, breed. And right out in public, too!! Really!! And you wonder why ours os the superior species!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 01:29 PM

Or take it down to Sea World and say it's for immoral porpoises.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 12:55 PM

You could say that it was for immoral purposes....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 12:20 PM

Actually, I wouldn't mind starting a riot, but I would want to start it in some way more amusing than bringing sagebrush across state lines!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 12:09 PM

No thanks. I woudln't want to start a riot.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 12:08 PM

No, no, I meant to Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 10:30 AM

Only if I can send you an equal amount of Bermuda grass.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 08:49 AM

I can send you ninety or a hundred carloads of sagebrush if you'd like....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 12:38 AM

Ouch -- point taken!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 08:52 PM

AND you can eat it, saving on food bills.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 08:49 PM

Hey, Mom, I'm bushed. I've been doing yard work most of the weekend, and ended today by carefully prodding apart a prickly pear cactus that I planted too close to a desert willow about five years ago. It was difficult to do much around that tree without brushing against the cactus, and pulling out tall grass was always a hazard--a handful of cactus spines is a lot of work to remove with a bright light, a magnifying glass, and tweezers. Today I used one of my pairs of kitchen tongs (the long, 18" variety) and my spade fork to move the limbs around. Anyone want a sample of a variety of Texas prickly pear? I'll pack it and mail it. I'll miss having the beautiful flowers from this plant this year, but the other cacti in the yard will still bloom.

Amos, maybe you need to get out and do some gardening--you seem to have been mightily distracted by all of that golden orb stuff lately. Let me send you a cactus. It'll solve a couple of distractions--when you're at Exxon you can ignore the Viagra ads, knowing that perpetually stiff pricks are normal in the natural world.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 06:30 PM

We get ads (not yet for Viagra, though) and music when we pass gas. I can usually ignore the ads, but the music is awful and the speakers make it worse.

Why do I need music when I eat, when I shop, when I pass gas, when I go the toilet, when I am on public transportation? Why can't we simply enjoy silence? I find it quite refreshing.

But one thing that really gets to me is the announcements:

(soft music, and then) ATTENTION SHOPPERS! WE'RE HAVING A HALF-OFF SALE ON CONDOMS IN HEALTH AND BEAUTY AIDS! YOU'LL WANT TO STOCK UP ERIC LINE 43, PLEASE. ERIC, 43ENTAL FLOSS IS ALSO ON SALE. SO PICK UP YOUR CONDOMS AND DENTAL FLOSS AND SAVE AISLE 4, CODE 3 AISLE 4, CODE 3(back to soft music)

I like the stores that give their employees radios to communicate with.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 04:36 PM

There was a great song challenge on a similar problem about nasal-spray SIldenafril (sp?) (generic Viagra).

I believe there may be an audio file available.

Speaking of such matters, which I rarely do, I have sworn never to patronize an Exxon station again. The last time I filled up at one, the minute I started pumping fuel, the screen lit up on the vendor panel with a brightly colored ad for Viagra and a loud, raucous advertising voice started issuing warnings to stop using it if your erection lasts more than four days, and to consult a doctor.

I am a pretty tolerant feller, most of the time, but I have to wonder what sort of society we have where priapism is loudly discussed by gas pumps. Having this unwanted dreck shoved into my eardrums as a penalty for pumping gas was a bit much, and seemed vaguely obscene, in purely Freudian terms. Nor did I appreciate being pimped by a pump in order to put ad revenue in Exxon's pockets as though they weren't making enough on fuel. The whole thing was even more distasteful than gas stations ever used to be.

I vote for an embargo.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 11:08 AM

Wouldn't be any Catholic Church I know about. Sounds like a "snob parish" and I would have complained directly to the Diocese. Bishops REALLY frown on that sort of thing.

Reminds me of an old joke, though. (Not true, but still funny.)

Three couples wanted to join the Catholics, and were told by the priest that they could join only if they abstained from sex for thirty days. At the end of the time they were all to come back and report their progress to him.

Thirty days later the old couple came round. They said that because of their age it hadn't been any problem at all. "You're in," said the priest.

The middle-aged couple said, "It was a problem. But we stayed apart as much as we could, even slept in seperate rooms. We thought good thoughts, prayed, and engaged in gardening, basketball, golf, and other physical activities that wore us out. Not only are we really fit, but we managed to avoid sex." "You're in," said the priest.

Then the young couple, twenty-somethings, reported. "We did all that too, and we were doing great. It was very, very hard for us, but we were succeeding. And then, last night, our hands touched over the carrots and, well, we succumbed."

"I'm sorry," said the priest, "but you can't join the church."

"Yeah, I thought so," replied the young husband. "And we're banned from Safeway, too."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 08:38 AM

Well, some folks use money as an index of spiritual progress, you know.

S


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 01:56 AM

A friend of mine found, when she and her humble spouse and children tried to join the local Catholic church, that they were denied admission. They didn't make enough money, according to whoever it was in the congregation who decided such things. So much for the spirituality of the thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 12:57 AM

We have a large Catholic something or other several blocks from our house, and every Sunday the streets are completely mobbed with big SUVs left there by worshippers. As we go out to do our errands of a Sunday morning, of course, we are inclined to cuss them to eternal darn-nation for clogging up our local byways, etc. But then I remember they are trying, at least, to account for more than matter and meat, so I forgive them their obnoxiosities.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Mar 07 - 10:30 PM

I do the same thing all of the time. I mowed today, so tomorrow out comes the trimmer for a noisy turn round the yard. Then I'll dig up some beds that need it. If that gets noisy you might need to worry. I use a spade fork.

My truck repair (parking brake and brake job on rear brakes) set me back this week, kind of crimping my budget. I'll be drawing down the supplies in the freezer and the pantry next week. Payday is a week away. Coasting coasting coasting. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 07 - 09:29 PM

Oh, yeah. Pat's car wouldn't start and it turned out that a wrench had somehow gotten jammed in such a way that the rear hatch wouldn't close and hence the light kept burning. I have a new wrench, 'cause it wasn't mine and they left it in the car.

MY car is now in the shop, with a vibrating heat shield (I drive really fast!) and some other things they wouldn't tell me today. So I'll call on Monday...naturally, it won't be cheap because taking a car to the shop never is. Although Pat's repair was free....

I can only remind myself that when you've hit bottom you bounce off the ledge and continue falling.

Tomorrow morning I will give scandal, since I will go outside and work in the front yard will everybody else is goin' to church.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 07 - 08:24 PM

I hear ya!

Today I sailed a jolly 27' boat with nine people in it down the Bay to the Pacific, and spoke words and sprinkled ashes into the tide and sailed back -- a good company, thoughtful but happy and with lots of good things to say and stories to tell. Then I drove downtown and watched a really excellent one-person play. Then I took wife's car, which has just developed a nasty tranny leak, to the garage for work on Monday.

I think I'll take it easy tonight.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Mar 07 - 12:53 PM

The week that just ended is a real good argument for why we might be better off NOT getting a couple of days of spring break (the week prior). We spent our three day week scrambling to get five days worth of work done, then we spent the week following trying to catch up on the stuff we didn't get done during our two extra days off. It takes the charm off of the two days we had off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 07 - 11:27 AM

I go forth to intone notions of the infinite over the dusty remains of the temporal, blending them with the great oceans which are our other Mother. This is, of course, a transient, symbolic gesture, a nod to a life and a stream of views and actions and feeling and perception I could only see tangentially. So it is a duty, a pro-forma acknowledgment, a grace-note of social convention only. But, at the same time, it speaks to deeper currents in the shadows of the vasty Unknowable, from which we all return.

Quien sabe? It is a moment in time that whispers to the perplexed observers, the dutiful and the mourning, "Go figger."

Sic semper vitae. Plus ca change, plus c'est la même âme.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 07 - 10:50 AM

Lissen up, Pilgrim. Iffen you'd had a two weeks like I jist had you'd be pooped too. Lemme tell ya few things, son.

March 13th: The company that supplies the software the Library uses says that it will no longer be developed. Support will run for another 18 to 24 months, then we gotta switch to another product. The company has two similar products and in mone single message manages to piss off nearly all of their 4,000 or more world-wide customers. Customer loyalty, never all that strong, is STILL digging a hole and not finding bottom.

I take my wife to the shuttle so she can fly to DC to be with her mother, who has been hospitalized with a bowel obstruction.

There is a staff-level City Council agenda meeting at City Hall I attend.

March 14th: Danged near every one of the 20 libraries our servers support calls me and asks, "What do we do now?" Like I'm in charge of the Consortium.

Pat flys to DC, comments "Well, I almost had a life of my own!"

March 15: I set up a closed, company-independent discussion group to talk about automation system. I present the Service Level Report to the City Council, meet with the City Council on our agenda items, and crawl home thankful that I don't have to attend the Council Meeting.

March 16: SOS.

March 17: Work in the yard. Pat's mother released from hospital.

March 18: ditto.

March 19: Prepare for Board Meeting tomorrow. Pat's mother has surgery set to repair the inginal hernia that was choking off her bowel and which was caught just before it became gangerenous. Put finishing touches on the budget for next FY.

March 20: Visit doctor to see if I'm becoming a unicorn. Executive Staff Meeting at City Hall. Board of Trustees meeting at 4:15.

March 21: Staff meeting, Capital Campaign Committee Meeting, Staff meeting.

March 22: Off. The Marble Man comes and installs the surround for the basement shower. I cover wires with wiremold, and do a whole bunch of stuff around the house.

March 23: 1.5 hours on the phone with the librarian in Aberdeen over the software stuff. 1.0 hours on the phone with the librarian in Bear Lake about merging databases.

That's sorta the highlights of the last two weeks, pardner. The collapse of the software and need to go to something else has eaten up about 80% of my energy.

Mom knows. And Mom said that just this once it was okay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 07 - 10:26 AM

Mom:

See? SEE?? All those imaginary breakfasts in bed, the make believe affections, the hollow assertions of loyalty and caring...where are they NOW? Where IS Big R? Who dives down at the last minute to make you safe again? Huh? Please adjust your will accordingly.

A


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