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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 30 Jan 07 - 04:04 PM
Rapparee 30 Jan 07 - 03:36 PM
Amos 30 Jan 07 - 01:40 PM
Acme 30 Jan 07 - 12:44 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jan 07 - 12:43 PM
Amos 30 Jan 07 - 10:19 AM
Amos 30 Jan 07 - 10:17 AM
Rapparee 30 Jan 07 - 08:39 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jan 07 - 01:48 AM
Amos 30 Jan 07 - 12:05 AM
Rapparee 29 Jan 07 - 09:45 PM
Amos 29 Jan 07 - 07:55 PM
Acme 29 Jan 07 - 07:15 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 07 - 06:01 PM
Amos 29 Jan 07 - 05:09 PM
Amos 29 Jan 07 - 02:49 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 07 - 12:24 PM
Acme 29 Jan 07 - 10:02 AM
Rapparee 29 Jan 07 - 09:45 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Jan 07 - 07:12 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 07 - 04:55 PM
Acme 28 Jan 07 - 03:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Jan 07 - 01:40 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 07 - 01:25 PM
Amos 28 Jan 07 - 01:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Jan 07 - 01:15 PM
Amos 28 Jan 07 - 12:47 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 07 - 12:19 PM
Amos 28 Jan 07 - 11:56 AM
Acme 28 Jan 07 - 11:39 AM
Rapparee 28 Jan 07 - 09:06 AM
Acme 28 Jan 07 - 01:43 AM
Rapparee 27 Jan 07 - 10:11 PM
Amos 27 Jan 07 - 07:13 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 07 - 06:16 PM
Acme 27 Jan 07 - 11:25 AM
Rapparee 27 Jan 07 - 11:15 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Jan 07 - 01:47 AM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 11:34 PM
JennyO 26 Jan 07 - 09:46 PM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jan 07 - 06:12 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 06:07 PM
Amos 26 Jan 07 - 05:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jan 07 - 04:59 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 04:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jan 07 - 03:52 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 03:15 PM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jan 07 - 02:39 PM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jan 07 - 02:32 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 01:04 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 04:04 PM

Yeah, but I was trying to compress them so I could send them to you by e-mail, and they shattered into little fragments and chipped the paint on my bench vise.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 03:36 PM

Hi, Mom! I just bought a Zen Warrior Armory R-9 rapier (with the rapier blade). It's okay, it's blunted!   (Amos, did you get those files I asked you to?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 01:40 PM

LOL, BWL. I apologize.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 12:44 PM

Obfuscation


Now there's a nice word!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 12:43 PM

Hi, Mom! Guess what today is? Why, it's

National Pomposity Day!

No further comment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 10:19 AM

"Are" s/b art.

For those who want weapons against this sort of thing from Rapaire in the future, please see Logolepsy.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 10:17 AM

Lurglarate? Scandalous defamation. A luciferian logolepsy upon you.

Thou are a lupanariam lurdan, some weird and lutaceous lusus naturae and dost require a lustrum-length lustration for your lurgulary of the MOAB's gentle stream of ideation, the work of a shameful lygophile or a lypemanic victim of lymacatexis, who should properly be lyssophobic but is not aware enough.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 08:39 AM

As I said, it's one doozy of a sentence. But then, Amos is lurglarate and thus quite capable of such construction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 01:48 AM

Hi, Mom! Yesterday was

National Please Ignore Today Day!!!

That's why there was no message yesterday. You see, one observes National Please Ignore Today Day by ignoring it, and posting a message would be paying attention to it, not ignoring it, so it wouldn't be observing it. Ponder that for a while and I'll let you know what today is in a few hours.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 12:05 AM

"The student must learn a number of hard words and be able to define them -- viz, abliguration, ablutomania , abscissin, absquatulate, cabochon, cabotage, cabotin,
cacaesthesia , cacation, girning, glabrous, gladiate, glair, glandiform, glaucescent,
lupanariam, lupulin, lurdan(e), lurgulary, quebracho, qued, uberous, ubiety, ubiquity, udometer, xerotic and xertz, failing which he shall be deemed insufficiently sesquipedalian for the Society's qualifications. "


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 09:45 PM

Use the following words in a sentence:

abliguration
ablutomania
abscissin
absquatulate
cabochon
cabotage
cabotin
cacaesthesia
cacation
girning
glabrous
gladiate
glair
glandiform
glaucescent
lupanariam
lupulin
lurdan(e)
lurgulary
quebracho
qued
uberous
ubiety
ubiquity
udometer
xerotic
xertz

Gonna be a doozy of a sentence, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 07:55 PM

Nothing risible about rictus, even if they do have a common root. But I am over my fit of pique and see no benefit in preserving irritation qua irritation. Unless I could somehow micturate you off in doing so. But sadly, I think that is unlikely.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 07:15 PM

I can think of so many other good ones he should add to that list--I love that list--why stop at 100? More words to set us apart. I have a set of notecards of some of my favorites (and sometimes I refer to the definitions when the impulse strikes to to use one, so I'm sure to get it just right):

ad hominem
agonistic
allegory
allochthonous
aphorism
apostasy
a priori
asymptote
autochthonous (one of my favorites!)
concatenation
deontology
elide. . .etc.

My daughter has borrowed this stack of cards a couple of times, but I've made it clear that she has to leave it here. These are sometimes power words, to really lob the idea home. Other times they're used because the person who will receive the writing likes words like this and they seem to influence grades. So never use them gratuitously, but do use them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 06:01 PM

A sine qua non, Amos, would be your ability to correctly identify the use of "rictus" in forensic medicine or pathology. Otherwise your suit would be, res ipsos loquitor, risible indeed (perhaps because the cuffs don't break evenly).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 05:09 PM

Mooooooom!!!!!!

This site has a lot of my favorite words in it and says they're all pompous-ass words!! I hate them!! Can I sue 'em? Can I? Huh? Huh?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 02:49 PM

I understand, though, that they CAN be eaten in an emergency, with a light sauce and grated breadcrumbs to offset the poor texture. An extra-long marination will help, also.

The small portable ones are life-savers. Or, at least, vaguely related to life-savers. No-one has ever named a candy of any kind "Air Hose", I know, but perhaps someone should. With kids today there's no telling what will sell.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 12:24 PM

I dunno about elsewhere in the US, but out here in Idaho ya gotta throw them kind back 'cause they're under the size limit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 10:02 AM

On Car Talk this weekend they had a caller from Paris, France, wanting to know if she should bring her Morris mini over to the states. The one "with tires so small you can almost blow them up with your mouth." (The concensus was that this car was a death trap over here.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 09:45 AM

We've got a baby one to inflate an air mattress, but it doesn't get much exercise. Mostly it stays in its travel crate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 07:12 PM

I should probably get a couple of those pet airhoses too. One for each car. Oh, I have a couple of airhoses, but they're more like livestock than pets. You can't take them for a ride in the car or anything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 04:55 PM

I've thought about getting one as a pet, but right now I just track down the wild ones. I may use 'em, but I'd never, ever, eat one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 03:12 PM

I have a little airhose seedling under the back seat of my pickup. A tiny compressor and pressure guage that plugs into my lighter (I actually have three lighter thingies and one lighter, which is never used. The ash tray is where I keep my sweet-n-low and splenda for drive-in ice tea in the summer). Anyway, that miniature compressor has been a huge help several times. I bought a good used one at an estate sale last summer, so when my daughter eventually gets her own car she can have her own compressor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 01:40 PM

The predominant convenience store chain in our area, a regional chain called Tom Thumb Stores, has been somewhat of a refuge for free airhoses for years. Unfortunately, they were recently bought out by the Kroeger grocery chain, so I wouldn't be surprised to see those free airhoses rounded up and caged in boxes that say "AIR 50˘" before long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 01:25 PM

There's three wild airhoses within a mile of where I sit. Even more within five miles. This may be a wild hose sanctuary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 01:18 PM

Hosers of the world, unite!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 01:15 PM

Hi, Mom! Just in case anyone cares, today is

National Airhose Day!!!

Yes, it's the day when we show our appreciation for the lowly airhose. With the demise of the neighborhood service station, the free airhose is now on the edge of extinction. Sure, there are plenty of convenience stores and such that sell air from air vending machines, but those are captive airhoses, not free. And many of us have our own air compressors and airhoses, but those are domesticated airhoses, not wild and free.

So, if you happen to be driving around today and think, "Hmmm.... When's the list time I checked my tire pressure?" and if, by chance, the place you stop for air has a free airhose, be sure to salute it. It's one of a dying breed.

"Airhoses! Because when you need an airhose, a panty hose just won't do!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 12:47 PM

I'll give you some hands for that silly remark, Rapaire, but not a bit more. And I ain't looking in your mouth no matter what. It would just stirrup trouble. There are some things I consider too tack-y, and they make me bridle, that's the mane thing. But flanks for the trial. Remember, choose your help wisely -- what gymkhana do, Joe will handle with ease. C'mon down to the dressage at 1:00 this afternoon, an' don' be late, gait.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 12:19 PM

I didn't know they started kids in dressage that young. Short stirrups, I suppose?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 11:56 AM

Beside, you left out the most relevant part of the horse!!

Speaking of which we are going to see a friends "New Lady Day" -- a two year old, I think-- show in her first dressage this afternoon. It should be most interesting -- "New" is a lovely horse.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 11:39 AM

Whoa, big fella! Watch coaching all of those puns in a pair of sentences. I've got to hand it to you, but just remember you're not the only punster here--you're not the Lone Arranger.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 09:06 AM

I don't do things by hoofs. Wither I hackamore on the computer or study something like the reins of English monarchs, I just trot right along.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 01:43 AM

That's our Rapaire--minding the mane chance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 10:11 PM

I am refraining from being a series of puns about horse-related things. I cantle bring myself to do even one bit, nor can I stirrup the energy, so I'll just quirt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 07:13 PM

Sorry, but I am not in the bermuda mess around with grasses, he said ryely.

Nor in the remuda to talk to horses...

Anyway, I have plenty of grass, here in Southern California. It's a little worn in spots, and constantly needs trimming, but it covers the ground.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 06:16 PM

He'd have been blue, Stilly. Besides, one doesn't mention "grass" to a person from SoCal. They get all excited and ask if you have any.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 11:25 AM

Hey, Amos, I saw what you did! You ran out of cereal puns so you introduced dairy and herb in their place. Whey and oregano, indeed! You'd have done better to switch into the turf grasses, then your obfescueation would have gone undetected.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 11:15 AM

Are they available in silver, preferably in the Rambler Rose pattern? I'm afraid that I can't eat with anything less.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 01:47 AM

Hi, Mom! Guess what today is! Why, it's

National Spork Day!!!

Upon this day, all Moabites are encouraged to eschew conventional silverware and eat all meals using only sporks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 11:34 PM

I have just returned from a Legion meeting, now that things have dried out some. They are planning to build a railroad to the Hovel, so that beer and such stuff can be hauled up in tank-car loads. What's being planned is a circular line from the mainline off to the Hovel and then back down. The engine would pull a line of full tank cars up, and move 'em forward as they are emptied. When they reach the mainline again they'll be disconnected from the Legion Hovel, Western, Eastern, Southern, Northern and Corn Creek Rail Road (LHWESN&CCRR) and returned to sender for a refill. In exchange a full car will be coupled to the end of the train and a FRED installed on it.

The vote was overwhelmingly in favor of this plan, and was announced by the usual hoots, hollers, and shooting out of nearby streetlights.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 09:46 PM

I'll raise you $5 for that pair of Earls, the Baronet, the Viscount and the God-King, and I'll see you.

(I've got a full house - MWUHAHAHAHA!)

I've also got some of these , and I'm not afraid to use them!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 06:12 PM

I've got a pair of Earls, a Baronet, I'm sure there's a Viscount down the back of the sofa somewhere, and the God-King in exile of a small South Pacific Island mainly populated by headhunters.

But no Dukes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 06:07 PM

Put up yer dukes! C'mon, c'mon, put 'em up!

Didn't think so....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 05:05 PM

You guys may be going against the grain for a seedy sot like Rapaire. Millet over and change your wheys, oregano up and whack you-all.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 04:59 PM

But, underneath, he's a real sWHEAT guy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 04:27 PM

And every morning he's a CEREAL killer....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 03:52 PM

I don't see why Rapaire would object to being called "BARLEY dressed". He has a RYE sense of humour. Oh, he'll get HOPping mad every now and then, if someone gets his gOAT, and he'll go sit in CORNer and MILLET over. But then he'll RICE back up ' cause he's a guy who can take a little FLAX.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 03:15 PM

There are examples here. Here's
another.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 02:39 PM

I noticed after I'd hit submit that I had Barley dressed Rapiere. I'm not sure I want to know how you dress somebody in a cereal crop, but know all too well that that is the kind of question that gets answered round here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 02:32 PM

They generally a light golden colour, rectangular, and always contain an amount of ground coconut, and have 'NICE' stamped into them. As we now appear to be talking about barley dressed Idaho Liberians , i hope they're not the same thing....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 01:04 PM

Well, I have a photo of myself on a nude beach in Biarritz, if that means anything.

Yessir, the air temperature was about 40F and there was a brisk wind off the Atlantic and that beach was plumb nude. I was wearing a sweater and a parka, among other things....


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