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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 28 Oct 06 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 06 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 06 - 10:26 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 06 - 02:59 PM
Bunnahabhain 28 Oct 06 - 01:27 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 06 - 12:21 PM
Amos 28 Oct 06 - 11:44 AM
GUEST,MOM 28 Oct 06 - 10:10 AM
Amos 28 Oct 06 - 09:53 AM
Amos 28 Oct 06 - 12:52 AM
Rapparee 27 Oct 06 - 09:03 PM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 08:14 PM
Bunnahabhain 27 Oct 06 - 05:39 PM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 02:22 PM
Acme 27 Oct 06 - 02:17 PM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 01:14 PM
autolycus 27 Oct 06 - 12:34 PM
MMario 27 Oct 06 - 12:30 PM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 12:24 PM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 12:05 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 06 - 11:22 AM
Bunnahabhain 27 Oct 06 - 11:01 AM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 10:20 AM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 09:55 AM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 09:53 AM
Acme 27 Oct 06 - 09:41 AM
GUEST,Thoroughly PO'd Grace 27 Oct 06 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 27 Oct 06 - 09:33 AM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 09:29 AM
Rapparee 27 Oct 06 - 09:11 AM
JennyO 27 Oct 06 - 05:46 AM
autolycus 27 Oct 06 - 03:35 AM
autolycus 27 Oct 06 - 03:34 AM
JennyO 27 Oct 06 - 12:15 AM
JennyO 27 Oct 06 - 12:14 AM
JennyO 27 Oct 06 - 12:14 AM
JennyO 27 Oct 06 - 12:14 AM
JennyO 27 Oct 06 - 12:14 AM
Amos 27 Oct 06 - 12:06 AM
JennyO 26 Oct 06 - 11:14 PM
Acme 26 Oct 06 - 11:01 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 06 - 09:26 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 06 - 08:56 PM
Bunnahabhain 26 Oct 06 - 08:22 PM
Amos 26 Oct 06 - 07:36 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 06 - 06:42 PM
autolycus 26 Oct 06 - 06:24 PM
Acme 26 Oct 06 - 05:46 PM
rumanci 26 Oct 06 - 05:21 PM
Amos 26 Oct 06 - 05:12 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 10:28 PM

More than 6,000, actually....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 10:27 PM

Mom also seems to have lost about 5,000 posts....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 10:26 PM

Mom wasn't there!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 02:59 PM

A high-fiber diet is good for you and as an additional benefit you don't need toothpicks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 01:27 PM

For some filling food, so to avoid snacking, I will eat the table, and so I want the syrup to add flavour...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 12:21 PM

It is quilt club day here.

Pray for me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 11:44 AM

That is SOOOO Mom-like. Anyone who was being rational would see that the syrup is only in a few, well-defined, precise locations on the table. Actually, less than an estimated 2.8% of the overall available surface area of the table, counting only the top of the table. So it is hardly accurate to say I have been "dripping syrup all over the table:, Mom!


(Wisenheimer kid!!! SHMECK!@!)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MOM
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 10:10 AM

I'm not in the habit of getting up in the middle of the night to see what you boys are up to.

Very nice, Amos. Very nice. Now eat your pancakes and don't drip syrup all over the table.

Mom


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 09:53 AM

That went over like a paper of lead pins, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 12:52 AM

And if you knew her heart, she'd be grateful for any.
Chorus:
Come a lands man, a pins man, a tinker or a tailor;
doctor, a lawyer, soldier, or sailor.
A rich man, a poor man, a fool or a witty,
don't let her die an old maid but take her out of pity.

We had a sister Sally, she was ugly and misshapen.
By the time she was sixteen years old she was taken.
By the time she was eighteen, a son and a daughter.
Sarah's almost twenty-nine, never had an offer.

Chorus

She never would be scoldin'. She never would be jealous.
Her husband would have money to go to the alehouse.
He was there a-spendin'. She'd be home a-savin'
and I leave it up to you if she is not worth havin'.




Kinda like Mom, in her way, eh?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:03 PM

I had a sister Sally, she was younger than I am
Had so many sweethearts she had to deny them,
But as for sister Sarah, you know she hasn't many
And if you knew her heart she'd b....

What am I doing? I don't have sisters named Sally and Sarah. I have one sister and neither of those is her name. Of course, one of my brothers might have "switched" but I probably would have heard if he had.

Lessee.

I had a brother Sally, he was younger than I am
Had so many sweethearts he had to deny them

Nah, somethings missing there too. Let's just forget the whole thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 08:14 PM

Picky, picky. I guess it is part of your charm, huh? :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 05:39 PM

When Moab starts jumping up and down by halfs and thirds, then we'll know for sure...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 02:22 PM

Unoperro must have been one of Gluon's ancestors. I notice he counts in quantum leaps.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 02:17 PM

Nothin' goes to waste around here. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 01:14 PM

Frost is mistaken about ooetry. It is the art of producing perfectly matched eggs.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: autolycus
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:34 PM

Poetry is the spontaneous overflow
of powerful feeling.(Wordsworth).
Therefore verse nis not.

    Ooetry is what gets lost in
translation. (attrib.Frost)




    Ivor


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:30 PM

Has anyone ever seen Rapaire and this Susskind person at the same time?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:24 PM

I would think this was generated by a MOABitye, except that it was published in the New Science magazine:

"In everyday life, of course, locality is a given. You're over there, I'm over here; neither of us is anywhere else. Even in Einstein's theory of relativity, where distances and timescales can change depending on an observer's reference frame, an object's location in space-time is precisely defined. What Susskind is saying, however, is that locality in this classical sense is a myth. Nothing is what, or rather, where it seems.

This is more than just a mind-bending curiosity. It tells us something new about the fundamental workings of the universe. Strange as it may sound, the fate of an elephant in a black hole has deep implications for a "theory of everything" called quantum gravity, which strives to unify quantum mechanics and general relativity, the twin pillars of modern physics. Because of their enormous gravity and other unique properties, black holes have been fertile ground for researchers developing these ideas."...



I have never thought of locality as a given. I am sure I have been anywhere at all, usually elsewhere, at most times, and certainly at the best times. It's a knack I have for missing out on them, at least when they are local.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:05 PM

Wow, Rapaire. That is such a DRAMATIC improvement!! One would think you had somehow absorbed the instincts of a master all of a sudden.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 11:22 AM

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,        
Alone and palely loitering?        
Tho' others frolic by the lake
And beer is outpouring?

II.

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms!        
So laggard and so out-of-sorts?        
The tavern's barrels are quite full,        
And they're quaffing it in snorts.

III.

I see a Wilde lily on thy brow        
With anguish moist and fever dew,
And on thy "cheeks" a fading rose:        
A recently acquired tatto.        

IV.

I met a lady in her mead,        
Full beautiful?a faery's child,        
Her hair was long, her foot was light,        
And boy! was she ever wild.        

V.

She had a garland for her head,        
And bracelets too, and a fragrant zone;        
She look'd at me as we did love,        
And made sweet moan.              

VI.

She found me jars of relish sweet,              
And pickles dill, and Tullamore dew,        
And sure in language strange she said?        
"Let's get it on a time or two."        

VII.

She took me to her elfin grot,        
And since I've wept, and peed full sore,              
And the Clinic cannot cure my pox
In less than weekes four.        

VII.I

And I dream of when I might urinate,        
And not scream, tho' woe betide!        
The latest drugs they give to me
In arm, IV, and side.        

X.

And this is why I sojourn here,              
Alone and palely loitering,        
Though other frolic by the lake,        
With beer outpouring.        

          L. A. D. Unoperro, Frisky Frolicsome Poesy (Chicago:
             Frisky Frolicsome Press, 1807)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 11:01 AM

The criticism of Rapiere's poetry is very harsh. After all, what is poetry?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 10:20 AM

What Knight is this so weak and pale,
Though the locks are yet brown on his noble head,
Propt on pillows in his bed,
Gazing seaward for the light
Of some ship that fights the gale
On this wild December night?
Over the sick man's feet is spread
A dark green forest-dress;
A gold harp leans against the bed,
Ruddy in the fire's light.
I know him by his harp of gold,
Famous in Arthur's court of old;
I know him by his forest-dress--
The peerless hunter, harper, knight,
Tristram of Lyoness.

What Lady is this, whose silk attire
Gleams so rich in the light of the fire?
The ringlets on her shoulders lying
In their flitting lustre vying
With the clasp of burnish'd gold
Which her heavy robe doth hold.
Her looks are mild, her fingers slight
As the driven snow are white;
But her cheeks are sunk and pale.
Is it that the bleak sea-gale
Beating from the Atlantic sea
On this coast of Brittany,
Nips too keenly the sweet flower?

Is it that a deep fatigue
Hath come on her, a chilly fear,
Passing all her youthful hour
Spinning with her maidens here,
Listlessly through the window-bars
Gazing seawards many a league,
From her lonely shore-built tower,
While the knights are at the wars?
Or, perhaps, has her young heart
Felt already some deeper smart,
Of those that in secret the heart-strings rive,
Leaving her sunk and pale, though fair?
Who is this snowdrop by the sea?--
I know her by her mildness rare,
Her snow-white hands, her golden hair;
I know her by her rich silk dress,
And her fragile loveliness--
The sweetest Christian soul alive,
Iseult of Brittany.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:55 AM

Furthermore, Rapaire's claim to being a perfect poet, based on his two-word poem, is misplaced. While his two words qualify him as a good rhymester, there is nothing poetic about the sentiment thus expressed, or the construction used to express it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:53 AM

Autolycus' pedantry is misplaced. "It is I" is perfectly correct when the implied ('...who (verbal element)') can be inferred from context.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:41 AM

Takes me back, that Burl Ives snippet. And since I have Spybot Search&Destroy in place, it only takes me back in memory, it doesn't let Real Player also take me back to when Real was my default clip player. Damned little program tried to change my registry while Burl was singing. It had managed to take over another time and even set things up so my Windows Media Player wouldn't load. How's that for a nasty little usurper?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Thoroughly PO'd Grace
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:35 AM

I wrote that one !!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:33 AM

Well, (ahem!) I wrote the first one, the perfect one. The second one (which should have "her eyes" and not "here eyes") is unattributed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:29 AM

Oh? Who wrote it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 09:11 AM

I?
High!


There. A Perfect poem. Perfect scansion, perfect rhyme, and all from a perfect poet.

See our tearful little Grace
With a shadow on her face,
Like the sunny, April skies
Clouded are here azure eyes;
All because it rains to-day
And she can't get out to play.


                  Ibid., p. 177


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 05:46 AM

Ah yes Ivor, I do know that, but the verb (or phrase) "that will get the 14700th post" can be implied after "I".

Anyway, "I" rhymes with "high", so there :-)

*goes off muttering* BLOODY PEDANTS!!......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: autolycus
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 03:35 AM

14702 !!!!!!!!!!! Oh,yes.





    Ivor


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: autolycus
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 03:34 AM

Grammatically correct would have been,
"Though unworthy,is it me?' - one only
says 'and I' when followed by a verb.
NALOPKT.




    ivor


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:15 AM

14700!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:14 AM

I've been known to raise your head
And lend to you my sofa bed
With cups of cocoa, movies too
Tell me Mother - will this do?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:14 AM

But mother knows her children who
Will work and slave to bring to you
BS whose quality is high
Though unworthy - is it I?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:14 AM

Others too may stake their claim
Blow-ins wanting fleeting fame
Cheating, as they write one word
Or a number, so I've heard


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:14 AM

As we write our pomes and verse
Silly songs or even worse
Who will nab that number there?
Amos, Stilly or Rapaire?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:06 AM

SOrry -- I have just spent several hours compiling Doo Wop lyrics, and am parked on the time line in 1956, listening to Oh, Donna and Love Like Yours Will Surely Come My Way.

So your 1915-era sentiments don't phase me one bit!! I've got a white carnation and a pickup truck!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 11:14 PM

For a little trip down memory lane, go to this page Little White Duck. Scroll down and click on "play clip". I hate to say it, but I remember it well. Just when I had managed to completely forget it too!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 11:01 PM

The song I could never shake was "Seventy-six Trombones" from The Music Man. One of the worse earworms I've ever encountered.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 09:26 PM

Golden Curls and a Heart of Gold

I met one day not long ago
A dear little maid whose name you know,
She'd a ruby mouth, two sapphire eyes,
A nice enough nose for a girl of her size;
   But oh! her curls!
   That sweetest of girls
Had a head of adorable golden curls!
   Red gold curls,
   The cunningest quirls--
I fell in love with those golden curls!
But I afterwards found, to my glad surprise,
That neither those curls, nor the nose, nor the eyes,
Were of this little maiden the very best part,
For she had what was better--a golden heart!
   Heart of gold--
   For young and old--
Golden curls and a golden heart!


             Thomas W. Handford, ed. Belford's Annual. 1888-9,
               (Chicago: Belford Clarke & Co., 1888), p. 189.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 08:56 PM

Hey, Amos, you rotten little [deleted by censor]!!!

Do, a deer, a female deer,
Re, a drop of golden sun,
Me, a name I call myself
Fa, a long, long way to run
Sol, a needle pulling thread
La, a note to follow sol
Ti, a drink with jam and bread
And that brings us back to do, do, do, do
Do, a deer, a female deer....


I hope that this starts the chain which will put the song in YOUR mind like you've put that acursed Duck in mine! May you spend your days with it as the only song you can think of and your nights dreaming about it! May it run through your mind every nanosecond of your life, and may you hum it from your final resting place after you're dead!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!



















Kill little white ducks. Wring their little white necks. Kill. KIll. KILl. KILL KILL KILL KILL.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 08:22 PM

Gluon just ate my last post! Bad dog!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 07:36 PM

The song was made widely known by Burl Ives. I believe it was also poulrized by Arthur Godfrey. It goes like this:


There's a little white duck, sitting in the water. (D - - A)
A little white duck, doing what he oughter         (- - - D)
He took a bite of a lily pad,                      (G - D -)
Flapped his wings and he said, "I'm glad          (E - A -)
I'm a little white duck sitting in the water.      (D - - A)
Quack! Quack! Quack!"                              (- - D -)

There's a little green frog, swimming in the water.
A little green frog, doing what he oughter
He jumped right off the lily pad,
That the little duck bit and he said, "I'm glad
I'm a little green frog swimming in the water.
Glug! Glug! Glug!"

There's a little black bug, floating on the water.
A little black bug, doing what he oughter
He tickled the frog on the lily pad
That the little duck bit and he said, "I'm glad
I'm a little black bug floating on the water.
Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz!"

There's a little red snake, laying in the water.
A little red snake, doing what he oughter
He frightened the duck and the frog so bad,
He ate the little bug, and he said, "I'm glad
I'm a little red snake laying in the water.
Ssss! Ssss! Ssss!"

Now there's nobody left, sitting in the water.
Nobody left, doing what he oughter
There's nothing left but the lily pad.
The duck and the frog ran away. I'm sad.
'Cause there's nobody left sitting in the water.
Boo! Hoo! Hoo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 06:42 PM

It better not be that godblasted little white duck!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: autolycus
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 06:24 PM

Bunnahabhain

Thank you for the calculation. I wanted to
know if I had the time to read thru this
thread from beginning to end.
I don't see your answer as any more or less
silly than the bits of the thread I've so
far managed

Amos

Who famously sang the 'sitting in the
water' song? I remember the song and
don't know the answer

      

hurrah for fatuity.




    Ivor


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 05:46 PM

Quite the contrary--many would say this is a no account thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 05:21 PM

Aha
So if you're counting instead of scrapping
I ought to leave Mom to her sleep or rapping
her knuckles against those lads' ears.
Stay asleep Mom. I'll share some beers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 05:12 PM

Oh sir, it seems to me unkind
To turn on me your wicked mind
T'upbraid me for my case misstating
Which you did cause, by simply waiting
And fault my simple, earnest rhyme
For breaking not the Law of Time.
In fact the flaw, sir, I would guess,
Was born of your untimelieness!
I prithee, sir, you let me be,
And go amuse the G.O. P.


A


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