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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 25 Jun 12 - 01:31 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 12 - 01:34 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jun 12 - 01:36 PM
Amos 25 Jun 12 - 02:24 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jun 12 - 02:34 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 12 - 03:07 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jun 12 - 03:21 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 12 - 03:30 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jun 12 - 03:38 PM
gnu 25 Jun 12 - 03:52 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jun 12 - 04:29 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 12 - 05:27 PM
Amos 25 Jun 12 - 06:37 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 12 - 08:56 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jun 12 - 12:32 AM
Amos 26 Jun 12 - 02:24 AM
Little Hawk 26 Jun 12 - 02:42 AM
Little Hawk 26 Jun 12 - 02:59 AM
Rapparee 26 Jun 12 - 10:19 AM
Amos 26 Jun 12 - 11:44 AM
Acme 26 Jun 12 - 12:56 PM
Amos 26 Jun 12 - 12:58 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 12 - 04:36 PM
gnu 26 Jun 12 - 06:34 PM
Acme 26 Jun 12 - 07:50 PM
GUEST,Artixes the Grey 26 Jun 12 - 09:01 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 12 - 09:18 PM
GUEST,Artixes the Grey 26 Jun 12 - 09:48 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 12 - 10:20 PM
Amos 27 Jun 12 - 10:20 AM
Rapparee 27 Jun 12 - 10:30 AM
GUEST,a mod - Lifting the Weight of the MOAB 27 Jun 12 - 11:00 AM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 27 Jun 12 - 11:18 AM
Amos 27 Jun 12 - 11:42 AM
GUEST,Hector Ballsworthy, the Independent Press 27 Jun 12 - 11:49 AM
Rapparee 27 Jun 12 - 02:14 PM
gnu 27 Jun 12 - 03:25 PM
Amos 27 Jun 12 - 03:33 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 12 - 11:17 PM
Rapparee 28 Jun 12 - 10:15 AM
Amos 28 Jun 12 - 11:25 AM
Little Hawk 28 Jun 12 - 11:39 AM
Amos 28 Jun 12 - 11:42 AM
Little Hawk 28 Jun 12 - 12:01 PM
Amos 28 Jun 12 - 02:07 PM
Rapparee 28 Jun 12 - 06:34 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jun 12 - 02:39 AM
Amos 29 Jun 12 - 09:29 AM
Amos 29 Jun 12 - 01:13 PM
Acme 29 Jun 12 - 04:49 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jun 12 - 01:31 PM

He has no idea about that. He probably thinks that the Galactic Overlord is somewhat similar to a WWF wrestling star like Hulk Hogan or whoever else is the headliner these days (I haven't been keeping up on that). You know...fancy jumpsuit, big muscles, good at busting heads.

Shane has friends in outer space, Artixes and the rest of the crew, and they have taken him on a couple of space jaunts and been quite nice to him. He probably figures that this gives him an "in" with the Galactic Overlord. Whether this is naive on his part, I can't say, but I suspect it might be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 12 - 01:34 PM

I think Shame would be the first one squashed by the GO.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jun 12 - 01:36 PM

He thinks the same about you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 12 - 02:24 PM

Well, I wouldn't make too free about presuming to speak on the Galactic Overlord's behalf, guys. I might take offense He might take exception to your assumptions and characterizations and decide to straighten things out, and you would not like that. Not a bit.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jun 12 - 02:34 PM

Who is speaking on his behalf?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 12 - 03:07 PM

I'm just guessing. But if I were Shame I'd be hiding (as if that would do any good regarding the GO, but it might make a lot of other people happy).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jun 12 - 03:21 PM

Why should he hide? All he's done is express his enthusiasm for the hypothetical idea of your destruction by a supreme overlord. ;-) How does this contravene Galactic Ordinances? Far from hiding, Shane makes a daily spectacle of himself on the streets of Blind River, bumming smokes and accosting young women and generally being very, very visible. He can easily be found at any time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 12 - 03:30 PM

Well, the GO said "behaviour" so I assume he's from some country that can't spell correctly. Of course, that could be California.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jun 12 - 03:38 PM

Ah-HAH! You're right. He spelled it as someone would if he was from either the UK or Canada or possibly Australia...basically any English-speaking country except the USA, where they don't really know how to spell. ;-)

You're assuming that I made that Galactic Overlord post, aren't you?

Well, I didn't. And you have my word on that. It was someone else who made that post, not me. I'm betting it was either gnu...or the genuine article himself, the Galactic Overlord. Galactic Overlords DO know how to spell English properly. They spell it like Canadians do...and they pronounce the letter "Z" as "zed".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jun 12 - 03:52 PM

A B C D... W X Y Zee. See? T'weren't me. Behaviour self, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jun 12 - 04:29 PM

It wasn't you? Well, it wasn't me either. Perhaps Rapparee or Amos is playing subtle tricks and pretending to be a Canadian by spelling "behaviour" the way it's supposed to be spelled, thus impersonating you or me.

Or maybe it really was the Galactic Overlord!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 12 - 05:27 PM

Me???!!! Don't go blaming me for a post by someone else!! I was brought up with correct behavior!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 12 - 06:37 PM

No, see, it wasn't LH because he wasn't being LH at the time he wrote it. To quote the immortal Wm Jefferson Clinton, it all depends on what your definition of "is" is.
He was being Chongo Chimp when he posted as the Galactic Overlord, disregarding the risk of offending me....the Real Thing.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 12 - 08:56 PM

Personally, I think the Galactic Overlord looks something like Ming the Merciless, only meaner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 12:32 AM

Amos, you maleficent, chuckle-headed turtle-fucker, I did NOT post as the Galactic Overland in ANY capacity...not in my own capacity nor while being anyone else either. And Chongo never posts as anyone but Chongo.

I don't know who did the Galactic Overlord post, but you seem to be implying that you ARE the Galactic Overlord. If so, sir, do your worst! I dare you. I wave my peripheral extremities tauntingly in your general direction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 02:24 AM

Implication is all well and good, but I did not do it. I notice however thast Rapp has skirted the question with his usual adroit misdirection.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 02:42 AM

Everybody's an expert at something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 02:59 AM

But would Rap stoop so low as to attempt to deceive others by deliberately using Canadian spelling? Is he capable of such deviousness and misdirection?

Hmmmmm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 10:19 AM

I notice however thast Rapp has skirted the question with his usual adroit misdirection.

Why, thank you! I've worked on that skill set for years and years and it's nice to have it recognized.

As for the posting, no, you'll have to look elsewhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 11:44 AM

The proposition "You will have too looke elswhere" is not the same as the proposition "I did not make that post". This is a classic example of Rapp's skitterish technique whereby everything just glances off in a different direction. He is a master skitterer.
I recognize the skill because I am a dab hand at it my own self when the occasion arises.

Normal human communication is by and large so riddled with flaws that it is very easy to sound sincere while not actually engaging in straight communication. However, this is a dark art, and must only be used in the rare situation where it will actually serve the side of the Good. Otherwise, one risks deep corrosion of the Soul. Also, your dick falls off.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 12:56 PM

MOAB is too big to check to see who was the Galactic Overlord - the mod has to load the entire thing in order to see the IP addresses. It's possible, but not likely that any of them are that crazy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 12:58 PM

Because of the resistance, there is also a limit to the power that any given inductor can handle. In the case of any inductor with a magnetic core, a further (and usually overriding) limitation is the maximum magnetic flux density supported by the magnetic material before it saturates. Once saturated, any increase in current causes no additional magnetic field (since the core cannot support any more magnetism), and the inductance falls. This causes gross non-linearities, which can have severe repercussions in some circuits (such as a switchmode power supply).


Does it strike anyone how oddly these material hijinks sometimes seem to parallel the weaving and whoofing of the human heart? It does me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 04:36 PM

...gross non-linearities...

That's a perfect description of my thought processes! Gross and non-linear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 06:34 PM

Apparently, I did not make my admonition clear. I shall have to consult and appeal to the GO re your punishments. Anyone got his/her/it's eaddy?

BTW, the beef stew I cooked today is gonna be even better after sitting in the fridge overnight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 07:50 PM

It hit 104o here today - you'll have to forgive me if I pass on hot stew for dinner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 09:01 PM

You could try sending your appeal to the Galactic Overload by a hypertransmission directed to the Galactic Centre...assuming you have the technology to do so...or by focusing a directed beam of Pure Thought thence. Some call this prayer, others call it Telepathic Communication. However, don't expect too much. We have been trying to get the GO to intercede for years and stop the encroachment of the Krith, dreadful creatures who are attempting to dominate and control all lifeforms in the Galaxy for nothing else than to wreak their sadistic will upon others, enslave them, and then boast about it...a despicable plan! Despite frequent pleas on our part, the GO has not responded. We have thus been forced to fall back on our contingency plan which involves finding barely sentient, yet semi-civilized lifeforms with clothing and intoxicating beverages who can combat the Krith on their own terms: brutal stupidity combined with gross egotism and total lack of judgement or self-control. In this way only can the Krith be destroyed and their vicious plans put to naught.

We have found a subject on your planet who may serve admirably in this role. He lives in a little community called Blind River...toward the northern area of one of your main continents. We have been testing him in various ways for the last few solar cycles in order to determine if he is stupid enough to meet the Krith and defeat them while not really being aware of the danger he is in. It requires a simply stunning level of stupidity to do this, and very few are capable of it, but we have confidence in the Shane, as we call him.

You may all one day owe your lives to him. Send a beam of Pure Thought out to him this day before you lie down to sleep.

- Artixes


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 09:18 PM

I can picture it:

A large area, the bottom covered with sand and body parts. Shame, naked except for a loincloth and a pointed stick, shambles in. Another gate rises and out slither Krith, which look like one of HG Lovecraft's worst ideas, their fangs dripping a poisonous blackish-green ichor, claw-covered flap-pads ready to rip flesh and meat from bone. Shame takes one look and says, "Holy flip!", turns to run, and jabs the pointed stick in his eye just like his kindergarten teacher said he if he kept running around with stick in his hand. And the rest, save for awful slurping and crunching sounds, is silence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 09:48 PM

You have a wonderful dramatic sense, entity Rapparee. I and the entire crew have experienced delight in reading your imagined story of the Shane's encounter in the arena with the Krith. Be advised, however, that the Krith are a bit different than you imagine, though certainly equally disgusting. They do have tentacles, yes, as well as 8-fingered hands, and they are very ugly (as far as we Greys are concerned), but they wear a sort of armoured and leathery clothing and sport a variety of grim technological weapons and spaceships. They do have fangs, oh yes, and they delight in baring them to terrify others, but they tend to fight more with handheld weapons, hands, and tentacles...as well as major military hardware.

The weakness of the Krith is their male pride. They can easily be duped into contests of superior male dominance, being creatures obsessed with the gender divide. To be female amongst the Krith is to be powerless and exploited, but to be male is to be in a constant state of grandiosity bordering on insanity...and such types require competitive contests against those they deem as their peers.

We feel that they might readily be maneuvered into such a contest with the Shane, as he shares many of their societal illusions, particularly regarding gender.

We Greys are basically genderless, so we don't worry about such things. The Krith worry about it constantly. So does the Shane. We need to prepare the Shane to go forth and do battle for the Galaxy. He may be the only hope. What we need is a very powerful motivator that will get him to do so, and we are considering what might work.

Do you have any opinion to offer regarding that? Being a fellow male human, you might know what would induce the Shane to forget all danger and face down the soul-devouring Krith on their own ground.

He needs to DARE them! The Krith lose all judgement when someone dares them. We have witnessed this many a time. If he double-drozle-dares them, that will do it for sure. And then there's the dreaded triple-drozle-dare!...but I hardly think that extremity will be necessary. An ordinary dare should suffice.

- Artixes


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 10:20 PM

He could challenge them to a beer drinking contest. Or just tell him that these Krith have had him banned from Tim Horton's for life. Or -- and this is something right up Shame's alley, so to speak -- he could drop his pants, bend over, and expose his backside to these Krith; this is a terrible insult on our world, as it implies that the "receiver" has no masculinity, no courage, and certainly no intelligence. (This is called "mooning" on this planet due to the supposed similarity of the buttocks to our satellite and in Shame's case it is doubly appropriate because both are covered with mountains and craters.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 12 - 10:20 AM

Who, then, is the man in the moon?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 12 - 10:30 AM

The "Moon" is actually an adroitly camouflaged space station, orbited many years ago by the Power Gnomes of Lichtenstein. Inside are many things, including a complete genetics lab where samples of the best of human DNA (e.g., my baby teeth, stuff that was removed from me during various surgeries) are kept until the day comes when it is necessary to clone a better "human race." The Power Gnomes, if you haven't heard, just yesterday singed a joint aggression treaty with the Elves of Andorra; the date for the takeover of the Eurasian continent has not yet been named but it is rumored to be "soon."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,a mod - Lifting the Weight of the MOAB
Date: 27 Jun 12 - 11:00 AM

Keeping this place clean is a Herculean task. After many minutes of waiting the whole thing did load and I am happy to report that the Galactic Overlord is . . . well, not to worry about. Strange IP, but it's either Rap or Tweed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 27 Jun 12 - 11:18 AM

It's probably Tweed. The man will stoop to anything.

* PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 12 - 11:42 AM

Well, this is indeed a bizarre concatenation of perspectives and projections, innit? We have imaginary characters accusing each others' authors of posting as another imaginary character, and anonymous authorities claiming certainty that it is the imaginers, not the imaginees, who are actually responsible. Reality gets harder to come by every day in Mom's house.

Consider that in the last year, Rapparee has posted to this thread 1,091 times. Tweed has not posted to it since 2009.

Coincidence? I don't think so...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Hector Ballsworthy, the Independent Press
Date: 27 Jun 12 - 11:49 AM

It's the Lizard people who are behind it! I have been alerting the public about this for years, but most people are too anaesthetized by commercialism and financial pressures to wake up and face the grim reality that their very lives are now under the control of blood-drinking Reptilian shape-shifters in high places!!! Don't be fooled by the empty charade of elections. The wolf is at the door!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 12 - 02:14 PM

Tweed posted a couple months or so back as a GUEST. Khandu, on the other hand, posts as Khandu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jun 12 - 03:25 PM

"... or by focusing a directed beam of Pure Thought thence."

Me? Impure thoughts maybe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 12 - 03:33 PM

A look back at The Mother of all BS threads from 31 Oct 08 in the immortal words of Donnifrew Gottwinkle::

Dear Mom, we're only nineteen posts
From the 26 of K;
And as we near that mighty peak
Your kids would like to say
That it really has been great to grow
In a house that's such a mess
Where every room, and every hall
Is lined with pure BS.

Dear Mom, we've all learned many things
From this flood of clever talk,
The plagiarism of Rapaire
And the dreams of Little Hawk
We've learned the wit of BW_Ell,
Who keeps pots against his brain,
The mystic light of Rustic Reb,
And the song of Bunnhabain.

We heard the lonesome blues of Tweed
Spilling into an ocher sea;
And Stilly's bravest words and deeds,
And Gluon's cosmic glee.
There have been more worlds uncovered here
Than all Horatio's tomes
With duck-dogs, freds, and Chinga Chimp
Enlivening our home.

So Mother, sure, there is no doubt
That we really need to say
Thanks for the ride, as we all head out
Toward the 26 of K.
It is to you we turn our eyes
When burdens grow too great,
And we will grow your BS still,
When the Kays reach twenty-eight.

Raise up your mugs, you MOABites,
And give a rousing "Yes!"
As we salute our sainted Mom,
The Mother of All BS.

Donnifrew Gottwinkle IV
The Child's Weekly Reader, December 13, 1893
Vol 7, issue xc


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 12 - 11:17 PM

That's beautiful. It changed my life. I am a completely different man because of it. I only wish the author was still around so I could thank him or her for such sublime and uplifting sentiments.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 12 - 10:15 AM

Yes, it has changed me. Changed me completely. Even my DNA is improved, and it was already the world's finest -- in fact, I know have a triple helix! Excuse me, but right now I must ascend out of here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jun 12 - 11:25 AM

I am glad you have changed, Rapparree, more glad than I can say. The situation was becoming intolerable!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jun 12 - 11:39 AM

How long must the intolerable be tolerated? And when will the ineffable be effed?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jun 12 - 11:42 AM

After it's been through the mill at Eff Yew?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jun 12 - 12:01 PM

Ah! The beloved Alma Mater. F.U.L.A. Could you come up with a school song, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jun 12 - 02:07 PM

Certainly, I could, but I would like to know a little more about the deep culture and the high points of its glorious history before I go writing anything down. Please provide background material.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 12 - 06:34 PM

I've always like this school song:

High above Cayuga's waters
Is an awful smell.
Is it from Cayuga's waters
Or is the stench Cornell?


I'm pretty sure I got the words right.

My own college didn't have a school song, unless it was

Im Himmel gibt's kein Bier,
Drum trinken wir es hier.
Denn sind wir nicht mehr hier,
Dann trinken die andern unser Bier.

Sicher muß der Wein vom Rhein etwas Wunderbares sein.
Sicher ist ein feiner Sekt etwas, was besonders schmeckt.
Sicher ist der Schnaps so scharf, daß man einen heben darf.
Aber heut' seid's gescheit, liebe Leut'.

Im Himmel gibt's kein Bier,
Drum trinken wir es hier.
Denn sind wir nicht mehr hier,
Dann trinken die andern unser Bier.

Jeder Mensch hat seinen Tick und seine Eigenart.
Eine fliegt auf glatt rasiert, die and're auf den Bart.
Einer möcht' nur Fußballspiel, dem andern ist das Wurst.
Ich allein gesteh' es ein, ich hab' immer einen Durst.

Im Himmel gibt's kein Bier,
Drum trinken wir es hier.
Denn sind wir nicht mehr hier,
Dann trinken die andern unser Bier.

Sicher muß der Wein vom Rhein etwas Wunderbares sein.
Sicher ist ein feiner Sekt etwas, was besonders schmeckt.
Sicher ist der Schnaps so scharf, daß man einen heben darf.
Aber heut' seid's gescheit, liebe Leut'.

Im Himmel gibt's kein Bier,
Drum trinken wir es hier.
Denn sind wir nicht mehr hier,
Dann trinken die andern unser Bier.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jun 12 - 02:39 AM

Just make it up as you like, Amos. Use your fertile imagination.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 12 - 09:29 AM

LH, you already made it up. For example. uyou called it FULA. Why, pray tell?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 12 - 01:13 PM

Lord Jeffrey Amherst was a soldier of the King.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jun 12 - 04:49 PM

MOM sez she wants to drive out into the county to buy some fireworks to set off in the back yard on July 4. I convinced her to put the firearms away, that she'd send bullets up into the air only to have them come down through people's roofs and damage their mahogany dining room tables or splash into and break people's aquariums.


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