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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 21 Feb 06 - 07:01 PM
John MacKenzie 21 Feb 06 - 04:56 PM
Amos 21 Feb 06 - 04:47 PM
Acme 21 Feb 06 - 04:42 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 06 - 04:24 PM
John MacKenzie 21 Feb 06 - 03:36 PM
MMario 21 Feb 06 - 03:19 PM
Acme 21 Feb 06 - 03:13 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 06 - 03:11 PM
Amos 21 Feb 06 - 02:17 PM
Rustic Rebel 21 Feb 06 - 01:07 PM
John MacKenzie 21 Feb 06 - 10:26 AM
Rapparee 21 Feb 06 - 10:04 AM
Amos 21 Feb 06 - 09:27 AM
John MacKenzie 21 Feb 06 - 04:32 AM
Rapparee 20 Feb 06 - 11:22 PM
Acme 20 Feb 06 - 11:20 PM
Amos 20 Feb 06 - 10:26 PM
Amos 20 Feb 06 - 09:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Feb 06 - 09:12 PM
Amos 20 Feb 06 - 08:12 PM
John MacKenzie 20 Feb 06 - 01:52 PM
Amos 20 Feb 06 - 01:36 PM
John MacKenzie 20 Feb 06 - 12:48 PM
Bunnahabhain 20 Feb 06 - 11:46 AM
Rapparee 20 Feb 06 - 11:43 AM
Acme 20 Feb 06 - 10:33 AM
John MacKenzie 20 Feb 06 - 09:58 AM
Amos 20 Feb 06 - 09:57 AM
Acme 20 Feb 06 - 09:53 AM
Amos 20 Feb 06 - 09:49 AM
Tweed 20 Feb 06 - 01:24 AM
Acme 20 Feb 06 - 12:20 AM
Rapparee 20 Feb 06 - 12:03 AM
Amos 20 Feb 06 - 12:00 AM
Rapparee 19 Feb 06 - 11:20 PM
Amos 19 Feb 06 - 11:15 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Feb 06 - 10:36 PM
Rapparee 19 Feb 06 - 10:26 PM
Amos 19 Feb 06 - 09:53 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Feb 06 - 09:38 PM
Little Hawk 19 Feb 06 - 09:09 PM
Tweed 19 Feb 06 - 09:03 PM
Amos 19 Feb 06 - 07:58 PM
Tweed 19 Feb 06 - 07:11 PM
Acme 19 Feb 06 - 07:07 PM
Rustic Rebel 19 Feb 06 - 03:16 PM
Amos 19 Feb 06 - 01:34 PM
Rustic Rebel 19 Feb 06 - 01:05 PM
Rapparee 19 Feb 06 - 12:46 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 07:01 PM

Hell, we couldn't even get one Gore over here; but maybe we were aiming for the wrong one.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 04:56 PM

I'm pretty sanguine about it myself, who bloody cares, if you've got two gores you've got two gores!
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 04:47 PM

MM:

Arteries carry oxygen rich blood away from the heart. Veins carry oxygen depleted blood back to the lungs and heart. Arterial blood is bright red because it is charged (the hemoglobin is carrying oxygen); venous blood, darker in color because it is lower in oxygen.

You can test this empirically at home, but I wish you would take my word for it!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 04:42 PM

Horses recycle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 04:24 PM

I hate to correct someone, but the arteries carry oxygenated blood away from the heart and lungs and toward the capillaries, various organs, etc. Veins return the oxygen-depleted blood to the heart and lungs for recycling.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 03:36 PM

Cirrhosis of the River is the best boat name I know.
G


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 03:19 PM

Amos - de-oxygenated blood goes to the lungs in arteries.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 03:13 PM

Reminds me of a punchline from Peter Lind Hayes about their family boat. He called it "Columbia, the germ of the ocean."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 03:11 PM

So, the poor dead horse germ lived in vein, huh?

I have never personally been a horse innard, although I have been called something used to be horse food at times. When it comes to horses, I've always been an imported car -- an outie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 02:17 PM

I was once befriended by a germ who had been a horse innard -- lived along the banks of one of the main arteries and lived darned well, for a germ, getting first pick of the fresh Kentucky oxygen that coursed through the horse's lungs and heart. He, in turn, had a buddy -- also a germ -- who was never satisfied with his lot, and announced he was going to leave the artery and strike out on his own in search of adventure and a brighter, richer future. Although his fellows tried to dissuade him, this malcontent germ would hear nothing of it, and he set out wiggling one day and made his way across the great plains of the horse's internal cavities until he came to the banks of a secondary vein, which brought used blood back to the lungs for replenishment. The wandering germ found little good to sustain life there, and eventually starved to death.

"So you see," my friend the ex-horse germ said to me, "You should never change streams in the middle of a horse."

It is a lesson I have never forgotten.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 01:07 PM

On the otherhand, if I were 'in' Mr Ed, I would also be an innard. A horse innard, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 10:26 AM

I thought cats innards were used to make violin strings, but it now appears from what you say that they must also be used in the manufacture of Geld guitars.
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 10:04 AM

Head 'em, heel 'em, stretch 'em, brand 'em, cut 'em, vaccynate 'em, let 'em go.

Simple when you know how (and have help).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 09:27 AM

Bearcats have no bearing on the issue. As I recall the issue was geldings, feline. Processes relating to the production thereof.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 04:32 AM

What about this then Bee-dubya-ell?
G


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 11:22 PM

Out of the woods came three bears: Poppa, Momma,and Baby. Pappa
Bear said, "Oh, my. That little girl was toooooooo cold!" Momma Bear said, "Oh, my. That little girl was toooooooooo hot!" Baby Bear just burped and picked golden hair out of his teeth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 11:20 PM

I thought we might be back to discussing oatmeal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 10:26 PM

Obviously, BWL has his bearings clear, and he ain't just Timkin around, either.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 09:58 PM

That was definitely a bearing rollered, not a bearing tapered. BLAM! Rollered.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 09:12 PM

It has no bearing. To have bearing, it must have bears. There are no bears in this thread, just cats. If you would like to introduce a bear or two into the thread, then it will have bearing. However, I would suggest against introducing three bears because that may have the undesired side-effect of causing a little girl to show up and eat all the oatmeal which would mean we wouldn't be able to make a haggis.

Or, you could just forget about bearing all together and introduce a llama so the thread can have llamaing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 08:12 PM

I don't see what bearing that has on the subject!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 01:52 PM

Tapered or roller?
G


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 01:36 PM

YEah, but somehow no matter how fast they run, the balls keep up with 'em.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 12:48 PM

This cat gelding sounds like a recipe for a ball-race. Does the cat get a head start?
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 11:46 AM

I hate being ill. By the time I've though of something to say, one of you has already said it. If I don't get better by the weekend, it will be the least of my troubles though!

BTW, I though oldtrino was now a Ford company....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 11:43 AM

I myself wouldn't want to even try to geld a cat. Them cats got needle-like teeth and really sharp claws. Just look what happened to ol' Ready-Freddy Rufus Rex when he needed money for beer up at the Legion Hovel and decided to make it by cuttin' cats.

Rufe had been told that their was good money in it, before you know it he'd contracted for about a dozen jobs. He managed somehow to get all twelve cats in a gunnysack an' took 'em out to the silo on the old Andersen place -- the one that Gunnar Andersen built in 1892 and which burned down in mysterious circumstances in 1910. The one out on the section they call "Drybone Desert" cuz there ain't no water even a mile straight down, you know?

Anyway, the silo was the only thing standin', mostly cuz it was make of concrete, and Rufe thought that bein' outside town it would be a good place to cut them cats. He got out his Barlow knife and honed it up and then he let the cats out of the bag.

If you combined a hurricane and a tornado and sleet storm with a mad sandblaster you might get a little bit of an idea what happened next. Let's just say that Rufe didn't fill his contracts, blood was spilt, and all Rufe would say later about it (through the holes in his bandages) was something about "goddamned door locked behind me."

Yeah, he was rescued by some boys from the Lazy O that happened to the passing by and heard the ruckus from the silo. They opened the door and said they never saw nothin' come out by a streak of fur about a hunnert yards long, and when they peeked inside there was a man-sized blood clot on the floor, moaning.

Nope. I ain't geldin' no cats.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 10:33 AM

Alas, they lodge in alzheimer's brains.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 09:58 AM

What happens to all the oldtrinos Amos?
G.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 09:57 AM

Neutering house animals gives the owner a false sense of geld-edged security.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 09:53 AM

Guilt free gilt or geld?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 09:49 AM

It's a long way from gilding a lily to gelding a pussy. Just ask any Lothario.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 01:24 AM

Geld yore cats and they'll curl up and go right to sleep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 12:20 AM

They're there to bug the hell out of your cats. That's why the cats run around all night long in the dark, to chase the little tv people. The tv folks have the added advantage of being so full of static (just like on the front of the CRT) that they can give cats static shocks. That's why they arch and spit and dance around under the furniture when you'd really rather they curled up quietly and went to sleep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 12:03 AM

Oh, yeah. That's possible. I guess somebody's gotta make them Italian sandwiches.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 12:00 AM

They have night jobs, manufacturing neutrinos.

There ya go.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 11:20 PM

Oh yeah? Then just tell me where all those little people have been doing when they leave my television every night when I turn it off? Huh? Just tell me that, Mr. Smarty-pants Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 11:15 PM

Even Joe Sixpack does not believe those teensy figures are "in" his TV set. The most analog-minded antedeluvian Luddite knows that the same program, on the air, is reaching his mother's TV across the street at the same time it is reaching into his. So he knows that an actor is "in" a program which is "on" TV.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 10:36 PM

Yes, Amos, your SWAG is pretty much in line with my own lame-assed conclusion. But from a purely physical perspective, it would make more sense to say an actor plays in a television program since the program itself appears to take place inside the television set. At least I guess it still does. It's been a while since I've watched television and they may have perfected in-home holographic projection for all I know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 10:26 PM

You are also "on the air" if you do radio. You're also "on the air" with television. Ergo, you're "on" both radio and television. This is better than saying you are "in the air" because that brings all sorts of odd images to mind. You can be "in" Mr. Ed, for example, while it's on the air, so with television (and radio plays) you're both "on" and "in" at the same time.

It's like being "on" stage "in" Hamlet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 09:53 PM

Because television is modeled more closely after radio, in which one is "On the Air", whereas movies follow more closely the tradiition of theater, where one is "in" a play. This is not authoritative, but simply Doctor Defino's SWAG, an acronym meaning "shitty wild-assed guess", whose usage dates to the U.S. military circa 1965.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 09:38 PM

Why do most people say that an actor plays a part in a movie, but on a television program?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 09:09 PM

That's what happens when you hang around too much in the wrong places.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 09:03 PM

That's just nuts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 07:58 PM

There are three related words: Geld as used in Dane Geld, meaning treasure; geld as in horse-castration; and guild. Two of them are closely related in derivation! Guess which.

guild - c.1230, yilde (spelling later infl. by O.N. gildi), a semantic fusion of O.E. gegyld "guild" and gild, gyld "payment, tribute, compensation," from P.Gmc. *gelth- "pay" (cf. O.Fris. geld "money," O.S. geld "payment, sacrifice, reward," O.H.G. gelt "payment, tribute"). The connecting sense is of a tribute or payment to join a protective or trade society. But some see the root in its alternate sense of "sacrifice," as if in worship, and see the word as meaning a combination for religious purposes, either Christian or pagan. The Anglo-Saxon guilds had a strong religious component; they were burial societies that paid for masses for the souls of deceased members as well as paying fines in cases of justified crime.

geld (n.) - "royal tax in Medieval England," O.E. gield "payment, tribute" (cf. M.H.G. gelt "payment, contribution," Ger. geld "money," O.N. gjald "payment," Goth. gild "tribute, tax"), from PIE base of yield (q.v.).


geld (v.) - "to castrate," c.1300, from O.N. gelda "castrate," from geldr "barren," from P.Gmc. *galdu- (cf. O.H.G. galt "barren," said of a cow). The noun gelding (1296) is from O.N. geldingr.

from here.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 07:11 PM

Gelding!!! Obv corse.... that makes much better sense. You know, I thought she was involved in the UK Lady Templars and "guilding" was a secret code word to collect new members.

...and mebbe it is one and the same thing!!! Amos is better with word origins and can probly shed more light on this cryptycism.

Hello Rustic!! About them shorts: No, I let the old ones bond to my ass and add new ones as needed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 07:07 PM

Hey, folks, some of us are pitching in to send Art Thieme a copy of Roxio's latest Easy CD program so he can start burning his cassettes onto CD. I heard from Rap--anyone else want to throw a $20 my way? I'll pick it up and mail it in a few days.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 03:16 PM

'Round, robust, rolly-polly, rotund, rusty, ringwormed and a rump mostly!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 01:34 PM

Hell, at least it keeps 'em short, eh? Unlike some folks I could mention!!

Nice to see ya 'round, RR! (You are round, arent'cha?)...:D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 01:05 PM

Hey Tweed! Changed your shorts lately?

I have recently noticed a nervous habit of mine has become more prevalent in public.
Biting my toenails.
It doesn't bother me that I do it in public.
It just bothers me that I choose to spit them out at anyone wearing pink.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 12:46 PM

I am simply posting the results of playing rock 'n' roll songs backwards and sideways while upside down.


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