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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 07 Feb 06 - 10:53 PM
Rapparee 07 Feb 06 - 06:40 PM
Rapparee 07 Feb 06 - 01:12 PM
Amos 07 Feb 06 - 12:13 PM
John MacKenzie 07 Feb 06 - 12:11 PM
Acme 07 Feb 06 - 10:22 AM
Amos 07 Feb 06 - 09:58 AM
Rapparee 07 Feb 06 - 09:52 AM
Amos 07 Feb 06 - 09:45 AM
Amos 06 Feb 06 - 11:47 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 06 - 10:27 PM
Acme 06 Feb 06 - 07:13 PM
Amos 06 Feb 06 - 07:01 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 06 - 05:49 PM
John MacKenzie 06 Feb 06 - 05:38 PM
John MacKenzie 06 Feb 06 - 05:38 PM
Amos 06 Feb 06 - 05:16 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 06 - 05:06 PM
John MacKenzie 06 Feb 06 - 04:32 PM
MMario 06 Feb 06 - 04:06 PM
John MacKenzie 06 Feb 06 - 04:03 PM
Amos 06 Feb 06 - 04:00 PM
MMario 06 Feb 06 - 03:58 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 06 - 03:55 PM
Amos 06 Feb 06 - 03:54 PM
Amos 06 Feb 06 - 03:53 PM
Amos 06 Feb 06 - 03:52 PM
Amos 06 Feb 06 - 03:52 PM
Amos 06 Feb 06 - 03:51 PM
Amos 06 Feb 06 - 03:49 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 06 - 03:24 PM
Amos 06 Feb 06 - 02:58 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 06 - 02:23 PM
Little Hawk 06 Feb 06 - 01:21 PM
Amos 06 Feb 06 - 01:17 PM
Acme 06 Feb 06 - 10:45 AM
Rapparee 06 Feb 06 - 09:04 AM
Amos 06 Feb 06 - 12:01 AM
Acme 05 Feb 06 - 11:34 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Feb 06 - 08:56 PM
Amos 05 Feb 06 - 08:28 PM
Little Hawk 05 Feb 06 - 08:23 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 06 - 08:21 PM
Little Hawk 05 Feb 06 - 08:17 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 06 - 08:16 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 06 - 08:08 PM
Amos 05 Feb 06 - 07:00 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 06 - 03:41 PM
Amos 05 Feb 06 - 02:50 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 06 - 02:47 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Feb 06 - 10:53 PM

It could have been a dead cow on the golf course.

Are there power lines going over the river that zapped the cow (the lines zapped the cow, not the river zapped the cow)? Or did it float down from the high country and lodge in your community?

Wish I had something more constructive to add. I've been busy, and I feel a bit drained. All I can think of to conclude with is

How Now, Drowned Cow


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 06 - 06:40 PM

This email thank-you note from the City (I won't say which department) just came. I wanted to share it with everyone, and I knew that it fit here. Fortunately, we weren't involved.

I want to thank everyone who helped our department with our dead cow in the river. There is no way we could have gotten it out of the river
without the help of everyone. I am afraid to list everyone by name and
forget someone but please let your guys know that if they helped, they
were greatly appreciated.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 06 - 01:12 PM

You have to be over 21 for a BM? What a crappy system.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 06 - 12:13 PM

LOS ANGELES?Working with evangelical Christian organizations such as Focus on the Family, the Motion Picture Association of America has developed a movie-rating system based on the laws of the Old Testament. "There was some concern that our existing system was neither strict nor specific enought," MPAA President Dan Glickman said. "Hence, such improved ratings as B-M21 [Blasphemy Only To Be Viewed By Males Over 21] for Finding Nemo, as it was only given to Adam to name the animals." The new ratings system will be instituted around Easter, at which time all producers of movies formerly rated NC-17 will be burned at the stake, their fields sown with salt, and their names cursed unto the ninth generation.

(The Onion


(no, no....it's humor. HUMOR!!! Get it????)




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Feb 06 - 12:11 PM

I can't count on my ears, sometimes they hear things people didn't say, and sometimes they don't hear things that people do say.

O aye

Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Feb 06 - 10:22 AM

Gun cotton? Gun cotton? This looks like the kind of info search that will turn you into a blip on Dubya's NSA radar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 06 - 09:58 AM

Well, now, that's fair. Guncotton, ya know, is antiseptic. When dissolved in ether or other organic solvents, the solution is called collodion, which has been used as a wound dressing and carrier of topical medications since the U.S. Civil War. To this day it is used in Compound W Wart Remover as a carrier of salicylic acid, the active ingredient. Thus, Wikipedia.

The things you learn on the Mudcat!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 06 - 09:52 AM

Machines can have rheostats and variable power going to them....

Here's a bit I posted to the "Superb Owl" thread, but which needs to be enshrined at MOAB. It's an actual entry from the 1966 Herter's Catalog (p. 460):

Herter's Gunsmoke After Shave Lotion

The most effective after shave lotion ever made. Toughens your skin, sterilize cuts, kills pimple forming bacteria,and has no perfume that makes you smell like a fairy. Contains pure grain alcohol and dissolved gun cotton with vitamin A. Gives you skin a healthy clean look. Works better than any shaving lotion for the electric or safety razor shaver. Full six ounce bottle last a year. Packed in attractive bottle and carton suitble for gift.            $1.19


Neither my brothers nor I used it. We thought it better not to set fire to our heads every morning. Mom insisted that we wait until at least noon before setting fire to any part of our anatomy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 06 - 09:45 AM

...which was in base 15 or some such.

All this chewing up significance and spitting it out in other shapes is teeejus, I'll tell ya. If God had wanted us to work in binary he would have made us count on our ears instead of our fingers. That's plain enough, ain't it?

But we don't, do we? No, only monkeys count on their ears. Human folk, from the time they are very small, why, they count on their toes and fingers. And how many, normally, do they find? Why they find ten, don't they? And we call that Decimal, because the Romans called it dix, deces or some such. That's not just cultural convenience. it is NACH'RL!!!!

See, now, when they started turning over thnking to machines, they couldn't do this decimal thing. You know why? Because MACHINES don't have fingers, as anyone knows. What do they have they can count on? Power switches. Two positions. On, or not. So the whole damn world started sucking up to this monkey-like crippled way of seeing things, and it ain't nach'r'l. Nothin' nacherl about it whatsoever.

I think I have made my point.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 11:47 PM

YW1


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 10:27 PM

Of course, Amos. I thought that you might appreciate it anyway. B0A1.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 07:13 PM

I saw it coming, but I have to get some work done for my employers on occasion. This is one of those occasions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 07:01 PM

Rapaire:

With all due deference, which is precious little, I would point out that even in hex eleven thousand, a real number in decimal, is not expressed as   24 or 25,   18 or 19.

You are perhaps thinking of the binary representation, 1-1-0-0-0 which represents the real number 24, which is represented in hexadecimal as 18; but which, as you must realize, is unusual in that it has the property of having nothing to do with anything.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 05:49 PM

You mean 27, or 1B?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 05:38 PM

11011 is at least palindromic!
G


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 05:38 PM

Nice try Amos.
G


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 05:16 PM

Beg to differ with you, old boy. I never chortle until after the fact. The hole pedaliem is thine. Look thee to Post 11000 and there whose name is ascribed thereto, in letters bold and binary, that will be as flame to the unbeliever, leaving him with ashes all over, and naught but an ash to call himself...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 05:06 PM

Actually Amos copped numbers 24 and 25, or, in hex, 18 and 19.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 04:32 PM

I detect a man in San Diego with a self inflicted hole in his pedal extremity MMario. Hee Hee Hee ☺
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 04:06 PM

I believe his brag about 11000 was post 11001.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 04:03 PM

And it's not even 11000 you miscounter you. Anyhow that way lies deceit and false witness, the only true way to acieve a 'Magic number" is to do so after someone else's post not after a miscounted series of self penned obfuscation.
Eat your own shorts monkey boy!!
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 04:00 PM

I know I should be grateful, Rapaire, 'deed I do. But somehow I can't take it on; not that it would be an unworthy sentiment to thank you for not doing something you considered, but for fear that if I( were to agree to such a contract, I would be obliged to thank you ten thousand times an hour far into eternity; and while this contemplated destiny might be slightly less discouraging in prospect than the flames of Dante's Inferno, the difference over such a long period becomes negligible, and hence I cannot bring myself to do it. I am sure you will understand.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 03:58 PM

so? it's not like it's post 11011 or anything special...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 03:55 PM

Actually, I considered going for it, Amos. But I knew that you needed a thrill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 03:54 PM

YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ELEVEN THOUSAND!!!!

Eat my shorts, Teddy Boys!



Warm regards,



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 03:53 PM

And well indeed might use a trim!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 03:52 PM

Owns only mist in place of him,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 03:52 PM

COnceiving damage to his whizzer


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 03:51 PM

And he who fear's the Mother's scissor


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 03:49 PM

Who fears his wick might yet be trimmed,
And in de-wicking be de-himmed
Has vir and vas both wrongly pickèd--
You can't unwick what's ne'er been wicked.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 03:24 PM

You come 'round with scissors
To trim my wick
And you're goin' down
Quick quick quick.

Dang, but I write great poetry! PB Shelley would be jealous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 02:58 PM

You're not really wicked, Rapaire; you just like to pretend that you are wicked.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 02:23 PM

Ain't nobody trimmin' my wick!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 01:21 PM

...the point being, he had not even finished trimming the wick! What's the use in that? None at all, that's what. You have to tell them everything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 01:17 PM

A soldier named Billy Lamumbah
Use to teach pretty lassies to rhumba
But when he was drafted
He said, "I've been SHAFTED!"
"They gave me a whole different numbah!!'

:>D

Secret ayyyyyy-gent man......


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 10:45 AM

My ex had the same two number arrangement with the military. Interesting use of an otherwise gone-to-waste number. I could do the same thing with my early university student numbers. I remember them but chances are no one else is using them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 09:04 AM

I had a serial number when I was in the Army. It was NG26413167. The next time I was in the Army they used my Social Security Number. Thus I have a number assigned only to me that it currently being unused, and I find this useful for things, like I used to use the numeric part for a computer login. I also know the name of the person who was assigned the next serial number, -68. I don't think that anyone who's been in the military could EVER forget their number, as the military services have Their Ways of making sure you remember it.

Oh, yeah. The serial number of the US Rifle, Caliber .30, M-1 that I was issued in Basic Training was 321167. I remember this because it was sort of similar to my serial number, and besides, they have Their Ways of making sure you remember that, too.

My serial number is on my dog tags. My M-1's serial number was on the butt-end of the barrel-and-receiver section. I liked my M-1.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 06 - 12:01 AM

It's usually along the edge of the blade, on the left edge for European and Chinese made ones and on the right for those manufactured in the U.S. and Japan. The numbers are very, very, tiny but they can detect them.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Feb 06 - 11:34 PM

Where is the serial number on spatulas?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Feb 06 - 08:56 PM

Sometime during last night, when the directional sign disappeared from Howard Mountain, all of these items were ignored!! They, and a lot of similar stuff, are still there!!

Odd, huh?


No. The directional sign disappeared because it was odd. The other things weren't bothered because they are even. Oh, they're unusual all right, but they're obviously not odd. You see, half the things in the universe are odd. The other half are even. You'd have to check the serial number of a particular thing to see if it's odd or even. The trick is knowing where to find the serial number. Oh, it's easy enough to find the serial number on a guitar or a refrigerator, but it's not so easy with a coconut or a salt shaker. They know how to find it but we don't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 06 - 08:28 PM

Well, you can talk about age and decrepitude, but you have twice as many implants as I will when I get around to getting one. How much you paying out of pocket on this implant caper? My dentist says insurance considers them "elective"? Like, chewing is optional or sompn. Sheesh!

Aside from the backhanded remarks about decrepitude, and comparing me to some old lady you beat up back when you were in your 50's, the rest of your apology was kind and genteel and gladly accepted.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Feb 06 - 08:23 PM

Never mind... (grin)

I was just having fun pretending to be a Sylvester Stallone character for a minute there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 06 - 08:21 PM

LH, I can't fight you. You're Canadian, fergodssake, and you know what that means.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Feb 06 - 08:17 PM

Yeah? I'll take you on, Mr Idaho. You want a piece of me? C'mon! Let's go! Let's see what yer made of. Show me yer stuff. Let's see some action here! Whatsa matter? You scared? Yeah, I think you are. You look scared to me. Hey! I'm talkin' to you. You gonna show me your stuff or are you just a lotta talk? Hey!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 06 - 08:16 PM

Dear Mom,

I have to say that I'm not looking forward to the next couple weeks. As you know, Mom, this week is my birthday and Natalie McMaster is playing just up the road AND THE TICKETS ARE SOLD OUT!! Good thing we have tickets for both of her performances in SLC in April, huh, Mom? And, of course, there's that stuff at work where I may have to fire someone and you know how much I enjoy personnel issues! And to cap it off, Mom, I'm scheduled to have two teeth removed and two implants put into my jawbone bright and early on the 15th. Yessir, Mom, it's a good thing I got the Christmas tree down today because it SURE wouldn't get down if I waited any longer (it's also a good thing that it's artificial). Anyway, Mom, just think about how lucky you are that you have cyberteeth.

Rapaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 06 - 08:08 PM

I most sincerely apologize, Amos. I should never have gotten angry and riled up and offered traditional "fighting words." I have far, far too much respect for you, both as an individual and as a human being, to do violence to you, even cyberviolence. The last time I fought with someone as old as you are I broke her false teeth and snapped her cane in two and it's haunted me ever since. I vowed that I'd never again engage in fisticuffs with someone who's old and decrepit and out of shape and who obviously couldn't fight off an enraged gnat. So I ask you to accept my apology and I promise that I will watch my temper better in the future, mon vieux.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 06 - 07:00 PM

Oh, a tapdance, huh? Seen them before.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 06 - 03:41 PM

What kind of golf course are you playing on, that you sent your chip shot to hell?

I hate the think of the pro there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 06 - 02:50 PM

Phwwwwt..........KerCHUNK.

One chip, shot to hell.

Odd, isn't it?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 06 - 02:47 PM

You sayin' I'm odd, punk???? You sayin' people in Idaho are odd? Are ya? Huh? Ya wanna come up here? Huh? You come up here an' we'll show you odd! We keep all the Californians that move here in special compounds and use 'em to teach the kids about odd, punk. C'mon. C'mon. Knock the chip off. I dare ya. I triple-dare ya. Thought so.


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