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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 01 Nov 05 - 10:31 AM
Amos 01 Nov 05 - 09:00 AM
Rapparee 01 Nov 05 - 08:53 AM
MMario 01 Nov 05 - 08:42 AM
Acme 01 Nov 05 - 12:07 AM
Amos 31 Oct 05 - 11:17 PM
Acme 31 Oct 05 - 09:32 PM
Amos 31 Oct 05 - 08:49 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 05 - 04:10 PM
MMario 31 Oct 05 - 03:39 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 05 - 03:30 PM
Amos 31 Oct 05 - 01:59 PM
Acme 31 Oct 05 - 12:42 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 05 - 12:34 PM
Amos 31 Oct 05 - 12:06 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 05 - 09:05 AM
Bunnahabhain 31 Oct 05 - 08:35 AM
Amos 30 Oct 05 - 11:00 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 05 - 09:40 PM
Acme 30 Oct 05 - 01:34 PM
rumanci 30 Oct 05 - 12:50 PM
Amos 30 Oct 05 - 12:32 PM
Amos 29 Oct 05 - 10:37 PM
Amos 29 Oct 05 - 10:20 PM
GUEST,Melpp (pronounced "Mee-LIP") 29 Oct 05 - 09:04 PM
Rapparee 29 Oct 05 - 04:15 PM
Amos 29 Oct 05 - 12:20 PM
Rapparee 29 Oct 05 - 09:32 AM
Amos 29 Oct 05 - 03:59 AM
Rapparee 28 Oct 05 - 10:16 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 05 - 03:22 PM
Acme 28 Oct 05 - 03:16 PM
Bunnahabhain 28 Oct 05 - 03:08 PM
MMario 28 Oct 05 - 02:02 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 05 - 01:36 PM
MMario 28 Oct 05 - 01:34 PM
GUEST,Melpp (pronounced "Mee-LIP") 28 Oct 05 - 01:28 PM
Amos 28 Oct 05 - 01:18 PM
MMario 28 Oct 05 - 01:04 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 05 - 12:52 PM
MMario 28 Oct 05 - 12:31 PM
Acme 28 Oct 05 - 12:13 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 05 - 11:43 AM
Amos 27 Oct 05 - 02:03 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 05 - 09:13 AM
Amos 27 Oct 05 - 07:46 AM
Bunnahabhain 27 Oct 05 - 06:00 AM
Acme 27 Oct 05 - 12:06 AM
Rapparee 26 Oct 05 - 09:15 PM
Amos 26 Oct 05 - 08:42 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 10:31 AM

Okay. I was afraid you were going to burst into the theme song for Friends. (I'm just guessing that was on NBC because I never watched it. My kids watch it now in reruns.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 09:00 AM

NBC is mil-speak for Nuclear, Biological or Chemical weapons.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 08:53 AM

NBC = CBR = Nuclear Biological Chemical [warfare] = Chemical Biological Radiological [warfare].

I don't WANNA be embraced, admired, and honored by a bunch of granola-swigging, Birckenstock-wearing, sandal makers from Southern California. They're like big ol' spiders, who embrace you, admire you, suck out your juices, eat your innards, and honor your memory with a huge belch. Besides, there ain't all that much to embrace, admire and honor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 08:42 AM

we had one (1) trick-or-treater; my great-niece (who is a really cute 3.5 years old) and I almost missed her as she had a party to go to, got home just as her folks had put her back into the car to drive away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 12:07 AM

Okay, I'll bite:

they may have felt we were using NBC on 'em, I guess.

Using NBC on them? What the heck are you talking about? I don't watch much televison, but perhaps you're not talking about the National Broadcasting Corporation?

I did watch tv tonight though, one of the old movie channels. In the front room near the door in case kids came by. The Uninvited was on, a great black and white film made in 1944. It still manages to send chills up my spine!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 05 - 11:17 PM

Strange night -- we had only three visits even though we live in the right kind of neighborhood for more. The fact that the front drive was cluttered with sawhorses and drop cloths and drying newly-sprayed baseboards and the air stank of clear finish might have had something to do with it...they may have felt we were using NBC on 'em, I guess.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 05 - 09:32 PM

You guys have to come by my house and do some trick or treating. It's getting cold out there and there haven't been many kids stopping by. The dogs are in the garage and I took my "No Soliciting" sign off of the door. (I may have missed a few kids early on, because I didn't take it off till I noticed it on the glass when the first batch of kids was bold enough to ring my bell. It's a simple hand-lettered sign that says "No Soliciting. I mow my own grass. I don't want to know about your religion.")

Mom, would you like some chocolate?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 05 - 08:49 PM

Sigh...you just don't get it. The Brigade specializes in making you NOT afraid of them!! They HONOR your masculine power. They ADMIRE your rugged individualism. They EMBRACE you as you are....


THEN they extend....


Peace, bro!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 05 - 04:10 PM

"Don" is actually Don Diego de la Vega's first name. Correctly, he is called "Don Don" as I am correctly (when I am dressed up correctly) addressed as "Don Cecil". Of course, I call him "Donny" and he calls me "Cease." Diego is part of Donny's surname, which is "Diego de la Vega." My surname is "Diego de la Vega y Madre de Dios!" (with the !). Our shared surnames used to be "Diego de la Verga" but our great-great-great grandma changed it for obvious reasons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Oct 05 - 03:39 PM

one shudders to think with what Don Perro makes "the sign of the Pee"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 05 - 03:30 PM

Yeah -- a 1999 Honda Civic LX. I'm still drivin' it, too. It's outside in the parking lot. And I didn't hook up with Sorcha during the day, 'cause we went to different truck stops. Ha ha ha!

And I ain't afraid of no granola crunchers, neither. Today, for instance, I am in my working clothes, the ones I wear when I appear (as I often do) as Cecil Diego de la Vega y Madre de Dios!, partially legitimate brother to Don Diego de la Vega (who is know world wide as Zorro) and who wrongs rights as Perro, who makes the sign of the Pee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 05 - 01:59 PM

Fine nephew you got there Mister Rapire, no mistake, a liberal in the making.

But you wuz driving something the night you didn't hook up with Sorcha. Besides, talkin' about shooting back means you aren't familiar with the power of the SOCAL Granola Brigades powerful Psyops equipment. They'd turn you into a flower chile faster'n you could say "ergot". Quod ergot demonstrarum!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 05 - 12:42 PM

Very good report! Bet this guy reads Harper's.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 05 - 12:34 PM

Din't have no rental truck. Got moved by professionals -- and there ain't no bunch from Sissy Socal that could ketch me. 'Sides, I shoot back.

But on a different note -- my nephew is attending the Illinois Institute of Technology in Chicago. This, like Cal Poly and MIT, is a School For Nerds. The Chicago White Sox recently played in, and won, the World Series (that's a baseball thing, for those outside of the US and Canada). His mother suggested that he walk the six blocks from his dorm to Cellular One stadium and check out the scene, since it would probably be the only time in the kid's life that a Chicago team would even be playing in the Series.

Here's his report:

So, I just went over to U.S. Cellular and walked around the
circumference of the stadium and the parking lots for a while. Let me
just say, mom, you would have loved it (other than the 42 degrees and
raining part.) So, without further ado, here is the report:

Time period: 6:40 p.m. - 7:25 p.m.

Number of uniformed Sox officials: one for each entry point plus one
overseeing each set of entry points. approx. 80.

Times I'm pretty sure I still could have snuck in if I had wanted to: 1

Number of uniformed CPD officers: too many to count. at least 100.

Number of mounted CPD officers: 9

Number of CPD vehicles: 16 that I saw. Mostly cars and SUV's, but
also 3 or 4 of what seemed to be police RVs.

Vehicles parked in the spots closest to the main entrance to the
field: Limousines and RVs.

Number of RVs in said area: at least 30

Number of limousines in said area: 18 (including an H2 limo and a
Cadillac Escalade Limo)

Number of dirty looks from limo drivers while making this count: 3

Number of possible baseball stars seen: 1 (large, muscular african-
american man talking to the driver of the Escalade limo)

Number of times I was told to turn around and walk the other way by
police officers: 1 (approximately on the southwest side of the field)

Number of people begging for money: 1

Number of people begging for extra tickets: 9

Number of empty parking spaces seen in the parking lot NE of the
stadium: 1 (SUV's double parked on either side but a small car could
still fit.)

Time national anthem started to play: approx. 7:05 p.m.

Time of getting locked in the parking lot with two middle aged guys
and all having to jump the 6' high fence: approx. 7:15 p.m.

Time of first fireworks went of signaling Sox's first home run:
approx. 7:20 p.m.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 05 - 12:06 PM

If Ilda known, Mister Rapire, back when you was running that caravan up inter Idayho, that you was gonna end up talking like that, you know I woulda sent the SOCAL Surfing, Bikers, Tokers, Tanners and Granola Brigade out to intercept you. They woulda surrounded yer rentatruck with they Harleys and forced you to turn Southwest on a dime. They have means an' ways of altering even the most intransigent mindset, you know, do the SSBTT&G Brigade; their psyops are unrivalled inthe world.

If ONLY I'lda known....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 05 - 09:05 AM

Yeah, yeah, Amos, but even Mom knows about those people who live in Southern California. Hedonistic lustful live-for-the-moment drug-crazed atheistic car-happy unamerican sex-crazed whacko Commie surfer fast-food-eating welfare-cheating polytheistic Liberals, every one of them, just like all of them hippies living in those communes in Orange County and LA.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 31 Oct 05 - 08:35 AM

Since when has being nowhere near an event, and being busy with something totally unconnected ever stopped people for being blamed for it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 05 - 11:00 PM

Mr Rapper, it wuz you your own self who brought up the question of alternate types of grass, I believe, while I was altogether away. So if Mom (who is smarter than both of us put together) figgers out ANYthing, it won't be about me!!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 05 - 09:40 PM

Sorry I wasn't around earlier today, Mom, but I was off exploring the Curlew National Grassland.

Really.

And no, Amos, it wasn't THAT kind of grass! The very idea! Humph! Now Mom knows where where YOUR mind is at!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Oct 05 - 01:34 PM

Isn't that nice--catch and release even though it was a record-breaker!

Sorry I wasn't around yesterday, Mom. I was painting a cabinet. Looks real nice now, in the livingroom with the kids' computer stuff on it. Now I can have my library table back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 30 Oct 05 - 12:50 PM

From A Child's Garden of Bullshit



OH NO !!


May I throw a quoit into the ring ?
How contrary doth that seem ?
Not at all Merry
sigh


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 05 - 12:32 PM

Ah, woe, ah, woe
My Mom is feeling l0ow.
Ah, then, ah, then,
Go pull her up again.
Bu why, but why?
To make your Mother high.
How so? How so?
It's the only way to go.
Oh, say! Oh, say!
It is the MOAB way.


From A Child's Garden of Bullshit
By B.S. Masters
Wan, Peaked and Chilled, pubs.
Buffalo, 1939


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 05 - 10:37 PM

Mom:

I know you worry about the kind of company we bring home and who we hang around with.

Just so you know, the Mudcat has very respectable European forebears. Here's a photo of one of them with Rapaire and Bunn.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 05 - 10:20 PM

Funny, you sound just like them -- are you sure they didn't pull a switcheroo on you?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Melpp (pronounced "Mee-LIP")
Date: 29 Oct 05 - 09:04 PM

We have taken Washington, DC. Our allies, freds, have captured a Jena Bush and her female cognate; freds will utilize the captives genetic material to correct a recent mutation problem. We have taken over the brains of your leaders.

You would do well to surrender your planet. We will be merciful if you do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 05 - 04:15 PM

Well, there's not much going on at the gun battery, so I came home. Besides, it's raining and everyone knows that Mars doesn't attack in the rain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 05 - 12:20 PM

The animal kingdom is also going wonky on us:

FOURTEEN LITTLE PIGS CLONED IN ITALY, October 28
Italian scientist Cesare Galli has succeeded in cloning 14 piglets following earlier successes with a bull and a horse, the Ansa news agency said Friday.
Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news7661.html

ASTHMATIC CATS MAY BE ALLERGIC TO PEOPLE, October 27
Cats have long been blamed for causing human health problems, but now Scottish veterinarians say they've found humans can cause asthma attacks in cats.
Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news7654.html

I suppose cats only get asthma from humans who have uncooperative attitudes.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 05 - 09:32 AM

I've been assigned as loader for the 175mm Quaker cannons, Battery B, Firebase Alferd Packer. My job is to make sure that there is sufficent ammunition for the gunners and to make sure that they are loaded all the time.

War With Mars Is Hell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 05 - 03:59 AM

Acting all rarified are ye, old buddy? Thin bue blood goin' to yer head? Never mind, I'll see she gets to the top safely.

Sorry yer so busy!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 10:16 PM

Doggone it Mom! If you want to go slumming down at the bottom of the list at least get someone who's familiar with the slums to go with you. Someone like Amos.

I'm going to be pretty busy this weekend, what with the Martian Invasion and all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 03:22 PM

Sereant Major Minor informs me that Colonel Suh has, with consent of General Panneck, decided that the Legion will remain at their posts and fight off the coming Martian Attack. Already the torpedo tubes have been loaded and real ammunition has been issued to those thought capable of handling it.

Colonel Suh has also noted that as soon as the Martians are defeated she will issue orders to "ride like the wind" for Upstate New York to "capture, hogtie, and bring to justice the entity which calls itself M (for Martian) Mario" on charges of barretry, flotsam, feme sole, petit treason, grand mal, indecent disclosure, and aiding and abetting. "Capture him, hang him, and convict him," her order reads. "Be like John Wayne toilet paper and don't take no shit off nobody."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 03:16 PM

Even if they are too far off to get here on Saturday I hope they'll at least wave. I'll head out to the driveway to set up my nice big telescope and take a peek. Tell them to wave in the general direction of Texas, MMario, if you're in touch with them. They won't be able to see my house because I'll turn off the porch light to use the telescope.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 03:08 PM

So we're to expect an orbital bombardment of Generic Viagra? Once that gets into the enviroment, Gluon will be a real handful...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 02:02 PM

Rap's just jealous because *I've* got a Silent 'M'.

I know I don't have to fear the Idaho Legionaires as long as I am protected by my Tuxedo Panther and the Ferocious Pomaranion of Doom - both of whom I will be seeing tonight.

BTW - doubt the Martians will get here tomorrow - they are further off then they think they are - they've been relying on internet spam messages for their news updates again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 01:36 PM

NOW you've done it, MMario! But we'll have to deal with you later, I guess, if the Martians are going to attack tomorrow.

I'm going out now to tell the Legion about the Martians and MMar...wait a minute! "Mario" is a perfectly good name, but that additional "M" -- could it be for "Martian"? "Martian Mario" would make sense!

The Legion will decide whether or not to ride immediately against Martian Mario or stay here and defend our beloved turf against the Martian invaders and THEN ride against Martian Mario.

Sure glad I'm not the Legion commander. What a decision to make!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 01:34 PM

pish-posh Amos! What can the Idaho Legion threaten me with? I've already survived the SINSULL and her Loony Lady Lackeys.

hey Melpp? Who told you Mars was gonna be close? It's been a lot closer before....Bet it was the freds told you, wasn't it?

oh - you gonna regret giving THEM a lift! Hoo-boyo, yes you are. the only worse thing might be if you had a ralf or two hanging around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Melpp (pronounced "Mee-LIP")
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 01:28 PM

I thought that it would be sporting to tell you that since your planet, which you call "Urth," and my planet, which you call "Marz," will be far closer tomorrow than usual, we'll be coming over to visit.

Well, specifically, we'll be coming over to hunt down all of you and take your planet for our own. Yes, yes, it has all that water and oxygen, but we can deal with pollution issues.

Thought that if you were forewarned the hunting might be more interesting.

Thanks.

Oh, I almost forgot. The freds will be with us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 01:18 PM

wOOOOEEEE, mm, YOU done stirred up a MESS o'trubble, boy; them Legionaires are a-gonna ride down to your house and infect all your blankets with Legionaire's Disease, see if they don't!! LO



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 01:04 PM

oh - like Mom isn't perfectly adult and capable of making her own decisions? She didn't get to be over 9800 posts without "larnin' a thang er two" y'know.

Ever think maybe she wants a rest? A quiet day without having to jump up any time we want her attention? Huh? Ever think of giving Mom a chance to sit down, relax and enjoy herself for a change?

No!

No wonder she likes Amos best.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 12:52 PM

Mom is NOT to go down to the end of list if she don't go down with me (or someone else). It would be too, too easy for her to go wandering all about, quite of her own accord and frankly, we can't afford a thirty shillings reward no matter WHAT King John, the Queen, and the Prince say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 12:31 PM

Maybe Mom wants to go slumming?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 12:13 PM

There are times when we watch helplessly as the page loads so slowly that it times out before opening. Good catch, Rapaire!

Waiting hopefully for the 2pm (eastern) news conference in D.C. Fingers crossed, breath held, all talisman-like items in their places and doing their thing. Maybe I'll light a candle for Fitzgerald. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 11:43 AM

Mom! You were just one step from the bottom! You're not supposed to go down there! Now get up where you belong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 05 - 02:03 PM

HEy, the old song was righter than they knew!!

Ah doan keer whut peeple say
Rock and roll is here to stay....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 05 - 09:13 AM

And these molecules, having but one leg at a time to stand on, rock?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 05 - 07:46 AM

Nah--in the molecular world octopi are buckyballs (C8).   They roll.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 Oct 05 - 06:00 AM

Something afoot, well, it can't be anything fishy then. Unless there's an octopus involved somewhere, anyway...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Oct 05 - 12:06 AM

Something is afoot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 05 - 09:15 PM

Hmmmmmmmm...Amos, this gives a whole new dimension to The Sneakernet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 05 - 08:42 PM

YEs, but I was trying to maintain a civilized posture, not wantonly scattering unwanted phraseology about like some folks are wont to do.

Meanwhile we may be in trouble:

WALKING MOLECULES. A single molecule has been made to walk on two
legs. Ludwig Bartels and his colleagues at the University of
California at Riverside, guided by theorist Talat Rahman of Kansas
State University, created a molecule---called 9,10-dithioanthracene
(DTA)---with two "feet" configured in such a way that only one foot
at a time can rest on the substrate. Activated by heat or the nudge
of a scanning tunneling microscope tip, DTA will pull up one foot,
put down the other, and thus walk in a straight line across a flat
surface. The planted foot not only supplies support but also keeps
the body of the molecule from veering or stumbling off course. In
tests on a standard copper surface, such as the kind used to
manufacture microchips, the molecule has taken 10,000 steps without
faltering. According to Bartels (ludwig.bartels@ucr.edu,
951-827-2041), possible uses of an atomic-sized walker include
guidance of molecular motion for molecule-based information storage
or even computation. DTA moves along a straight line as if placed
onto railroad tracks without the need to fabricate any nano-tracks;
the naturally occurring copper surface is sufficient. The
researchers now aim at developing a DTA-based molecule that can
convert thermal energy into directed motion like a molecular-sized
ratchet. (Kwon et al., Physical Review Letters, upcoming article;
text at www.aip.org/physnews/select; see movie at
www.chem.ucr.edu/groups/bartels/)

A


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