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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 24 Jun 13 - 02:03 AM
gnu 24 Jun 13 - 07:10 AM
Acme 24 Jun 13 - 03:59 PM
Rapparee 24 Jun 13 - 08:14 PM
Rapparee 24 Jun 13 - 11:14 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jun 13 - 11:23 PM
Amos 25 Jun 13 - 01:05 AM
Rapparee 25 Jun 13 - 11:01 AM
Amos 25 Jun 13 - 06:49 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 13 - 09:18 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jun 13 - 09:46 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 13 - 09:49 PM
gnu 26 Jun 13 - 05:28 AM
gnu 26 Jun 13 - 05:28 AM
Rapparee 26 Jun 13 - 11:12 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 26 Jun 13 - 11:39 AM
Acme 26 Jun 13 - 11:54 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 26 Jun 13 - 12:01 PM
Acme 26 Jun 13 - 02:46 PM
Amos 26 Jun 13 - 06:06 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 13 - 07:28 PM
gnu 26 Jun 13 - 08:50 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jun 13 - 10:24 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 13 - 10:37 PM
Acme 27 Jun 13 - 09:55 AM
Acme 27 Jun 13 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 27 Jun 13 - 10:50 AM
Little Hawk 27 Jun 13 - 11:53 AM
Rapparee 27 Jun 13 - 12:09 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jun 13 - 12:22 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 13 - 06:22 PM
GUEST,The Galactic Overlord 27 Jun 13 - 09:39 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jun 13 - 10:21 PM
Rapparee 28 Jun 13 - 12:44 AM
Rapparee 28 Jun 13 - 12:45 AM
Amos 28 Jun 13 - 10:07 AM
Rapparee 28 Jun 13 - 11:35 AM
Acme 28 Jun 13 - 08:03 PM
Rapparee 28 Jun 13 - 10:25 PM
Rapparee 29 Jun 13 - 11:15 AM
Amos 29 Jun 13 - 01:03 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jun 13 - 01:57 PM
Rapparee 29 Jun 13 - 05:28 PM
Charley Noble 29 Jun 13 - 10:07 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 13 - 01:33 AM
Amos 30 Jun 13 - 01:36 AM
Acme 30 Jun 13 - 01:48 AM
Rapparee 30 Jun 13 - 01:50 AM
Amos 30 Jun 13 - 11:48 AM
Rapparee 30 Jun 13 - 12:07 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 02:03 AM

Poor man he rolls in his ego all night
RIch man he does the same
Rapparee wraps his around him so tight
But it's ego, just the same.

Poor man pumps with a bicycle pump
Rich man he does the same
Rapp pumps his up with pure-dee BS,
But he's pumping, just the same!

Poor man he uses his art to escape
Rich man he does the same!
Rapp uses art to fatten his farts
But its art, sir, just the same!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 07:10 AM

A...

This content is currently unavailable.

The page you requested cannot be displayed right now. It may be temporarily unavailable, the link you clicked on may have expired, or you may not have permission to view this page.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 03:59 PM

I like that poem, Amos, thanks for retrieving it from the depths of the thread. How has your PDF come along, or shall I give it a go and print it out? How many pages are you coming up with?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 08:14 PM

All humane things are subject to decay,
And, when Fate summons, Monarchs must obey:
This Rapparee found, who, like Augustus, young
Was call'd to Empire, and had govern'd long:
In Prose and Verse, was own'd, without dispute
Through all the Realms of BS, absolute.
This aged Prince now flourishing in Peace,
And blest with issue of a large increase,
Worn out with business, did at length debate
To settle the succession of the State:
And pond'ring which of all Mom's kids was fit
To Reign, and wage immortal War with Wit;
Cry'd, 'tis resolv'd; for Nature pleads that s/he
Should only rule, who most resembles me:
Am?? alone my perfect image bears,
Mature in dullness from his tender years.
Am?? alone, of all my Sibs, is he
Who stands confirm'd in full stupidity.
The rest to some faint meaning make pretence,
But Am?? never deviates into sense.
Some Beams of Wit on other souls may fall,
Strike through and make a lucid interval;
But Am??'s genuine night admits no ray,
His rising Fogs prevail upon the Day.
And so with MOAB's blessings grave,
She did anoint Am-- her new fave.

       --Brian Mac Giolla Meidhre, Séamus an chaca a chaill Éire, Daingean Uí Chúis,Contae Chiarraí: Ballyfungus Press, 1604.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 11:14 PM

The Chicago Cubs just won the Stanley Cup!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 11:23 PM

Huh????? (I haven't watched any of that stuff in, oh, about 20 years or more.) Did they score a home run in the hockey net?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 01:05 AM

Still:

It's complete. I was waiting to hear from RR before I try to email it, or maybe DropBox it to her.

It's LONG--1500 pages. About 5.6 megs.

But you haven't answered my question about how you get a collection of posts from different threads to appear in printer-friendly mode.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 11:01 AM

Today is the anniversary of Custer's Big Mistake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 06:49 PM

On this date in history:

Beyond the Cascade first became available to the great American reading public on the BARNES & NOBLE on-line store. This makes it available in Nook format as well.

This is far more important, in the long term, than Custer's foolishness.

A
First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 09:18 PM

When you are buried in the Poets' Corner of Westminster Abbey after winning the Nobel Prize, can I say that I knew you when you were a simple, struggling, starving artist?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 09:46 PM

LOL!

Hey, Rap? I'm already telling people I know him. And they're awed. Or are they odd? Well, something like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 09:49 PM

Perhaps they're ah'ed. As in, "I know Amos!" "Ah!" Or perhaps ah-ha'ed. Or does the conversation go like this: "I know Amos." "Odd."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 05:28 AM

Odds Bodkins'!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 05:28 AM

Odds Bodkins'!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 11:12 AM

gnu's stuck again. Give him a good whack to unstick him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 11:39 AM

A good, solid kick in the ass oughta do it.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 11:54 AM

Dupes are often removed, but MOM's total is so august that this June it will be left in place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 12:01 PM

Thanks, Stilly, for just sayin' the most cryptic and incomprehensible sentence I've heard all week.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 02:46 PM

Mods remove duplicate posts. Gnu managed to post the same thing twice. The rest is just embellishment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 06:06 PM

The question is who was duped, and by whom? Who the Duper and who the Dupee?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 07:28 PM

And did the duper have powers beyond the ken of mortal man? A Super Duper? Did the person duped have a relationship with Betty? Did Betty tell Dupee to buy her a diamond ring? Did Dupee tell Betty, "Buy you most anything?" Was Dupee duped by the Super Duper with a fake diamond?   Is that way Dupee robbed a jewelry store?

Enquiring minds wish to know!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 08:50 PM

I am simply duped stupid. It's perfectly not dupifying. It's entirely logical.

Let me explain... I transplated my Scarlett Runner beans today. NOW do yue get it?

BTW, SRS... how often should I spray my maters with HP sauce?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 10:24 PM

I'm not sure about that, but don't EVER put it on hemmorhoids.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 10:37 PM

Use any standard US pepper spray for hemorrhoids. 2.0 to 5.3 million Scoville units per squirt. This really works, for reasons I shan't go into except to say that no, I was in no way personally involved in the experiment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jun 13 - 09:55 AM

Don't do it too often. Maybe every couple of weeks? If you see spider mites appear (they come along when plants are ailing) then you can alternate with a foliar spray. How big is your garden? Is a gallon of anything too much to mix? A gallon of water with a couple of ounces of compost tea (look it up), a couple of tablespoons (about 1 ounce) of orange oil (the strong stuff, that costs about $20 a pint). Put it in a backpack sprayer or a little of it in a spray bottle and spritz your tomatoes (and anything else that gets red mites) every three days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jun 13 - 09:56 AM

It usually takes three applications (spaced 3 days apart) to knock out mites. Also good for aphids. You don't need to keep spraying after three times if they die off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 13 - 10:50 AM

Will this also work on Sham McBride?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jun 13 - 11:53 AM

You're thinking in terms of "pest control", eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 13 - 12:09 PM

No, pestiCIDES. And, given his mental state, herbicides.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jun 13 - 12:22 PM

It would be more humane to just give him a FREE truckload of beer for a limited period of time...say 6 hours...and let him drink himself to death.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 13 - 06:22 PM

Could he drink Canada dry?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overlord
Date: 27 Jun 13 - 09:39 PM

You lot are still around? Heads will roll in the Guards for this!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jun 13 - 10:21 PM

I have a question for you, O Galactic Overlord.

Can a square head roll?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 13 - 12:44 AM

I dunno if the GO will be willing to answer, but I'm rolled dice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 13 - 12:45 AM

Correction: not "I'm rolled" but "I've rolled."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jun 13 - 10:07 AM

If it were not for élan vital, you WOULD be rolled dice. We're really fortunate that entropy is not all it's cracked up to be!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 13 - 11:35 AM

If you are what you eat, I guess I'm rolled oats.

And other things.

I'm in ABQ. Got run outa the World Championships of Cowboy Action Shooting just because I wanted to shoot like the cowboys did. Sheesh, what's wrong with galloping full tilt, naked, down the street shooting out lights and store windows? I'll fix 'em, though -- next year I'll do it while I ride a horse. Party poopers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jun 13 - 08:03 PM

In Albuquerque? Say hello to Jenn and Art!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 13 - 10:25 PM

Had dinner with them a week ago. So there! Nyah, nyah, nyah!

Now it's time to pack up my troubles in my old kit bag, to hit the road, to say "Sayonara" to the Land of Enchantment, to board the Big Silver Bird, to beat feet, to get ready to go home.

Home, where my heart's a-waitin', home, where the music's playin'...etc.

Then, on the Second Saturday of July, I will teach them waddies back in Idyho what I larned out hyar about gunflingin'. Fer instance, iffen ya hold it by the barrel ya'll get better distance than flingin' it by the handle. I aim ta be the Idyho Champeen Gunflinger.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 11:15 AM

Mom! You like just swell! Now come away from that thread on Atkins Dieting and stuff. Heavens, you's still a size 12!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 01:03 PM

There's a race of men that don't fit in,
A race that can't stay still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin,
And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and they rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain's crest;
Theirs is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don't know how to rest.
If they just went straight they might go far;
They are strong and brave and true;
But they're always tired of the things that are,
And they want the strange and new.
They say: "Could I find my proper groove,
What a deep mark I would make!"
So they chop and change, and each fresh move
Is only a fresh mistake.

And each forgets, as he strips and runs
With a brilliant, fitful pace,
It's the steady, quiet, plodding ones
Who win in the lifelong race.
And each forgets that his youth has fled,
Forgets that his prime is past,
Till he stands one day, with a hope that's dead,
In the glare of the truth at last.

He has failed, he has failed; he has missed his chance;
He has just done things by half.
Life's been a jolly good joke on him,
And now is the time to laugh.
Ha, ha! He is one of the Legion Lost;
He was never meant to win;
He's a rolling stone, and it's bred in the bone;
He's a man who won't fit in.

RWS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 01:57 PM

Wow. Way cool, Amos. Good poem.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 05:28 PM

It should be -- "RWS" means Robert W. Service. At least there's SOME attribution !and Amos can't be TOTALLY guilt of plagarism


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Charley Noble
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 10:07 PM

Nice to see some traditions carry on!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 13 - 01:33 AM

Charlie, Mom just keeps on and on and on...because Amos and LH never ever run out of BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 13 - 01:36 AM

And Rapp, although he frequently falls short and runs out, at least is smart enough to turn to Amos and LH for inspiration, taking his instruction from the very best.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jun 13 - 01:48 AM

And I come along behind with the broom and the wheelbarrow. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 13 - 01:50 AM

Amos, I learned from the VERY best -- I was taught by the Franciscans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 13 - 11:48 AM

PIsh and tush, good sir! Franciscans are Johnny-come-lately when comes to quality BS. Jesuits-in-training, nothing more!

If you really want hard lessons in BS, you should mix it up with the hard-core Simonologists over at the Church of Simonology.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 13 - 12:07 PM

Who do you think taught Ignatius of Loyola, Aloysius Gonzaga and the rest of the gang? The Sisters of the Good Shepherd?


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