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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

khandu 07 Sep 04 - 08:28 PM
Acme 07 Sep 04 - 04:45 PM
Amos 07 Sep 04 - 11:33 AM
Acme 07 Sep 04 - 11:05 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Sep 04 - 09:51 PM
Gray D 06 Sep 04 - 03:59 PM
Acme 06 Sep 04 - 03:22 PM
Acme 06 Sep 04 - 02:12 AM
Acme 06 Sep 04 - 12:31 AM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 04 - 09:42 PM
Amos 05 Sep 04 - 12:43 PM
Acme 05 Sep 04 - 12:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 04 - 12:23 PM
Amos 04 Sep 04 - 11:57 AM
Acme 04 Sep 04 - 11:06 AM
Amos 04 Sep 04 - 10:18 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Sep 04 - 10:00 AM
Amos 04 Sep 04 - 01:57 AM
Rustic Rebel 04 Sep 04 - 12:21 AM
Acme 03 Sep 04 - 09:15 PM
Rapparee 03 Sep 04 - 08:23 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Sep 04 - 06:58 PM
Acme 03 Sep 04 - 06:55 PM
khandu 03 Sep 04 - 06:45 PM
GUEST,nikkih 03 Sep 04 - 05:43 PM
Rapparee 03 Sep 04 - 04:31 PM
Amos 03 Sep 04 - 10:30 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Sep 04 - 10:23 AM
Rapparee 03 Sep 04 - 10:02 AM
Amos 03 Sep 04 - 09:47 AM
Paco Rabanne 03 Sep 04 - 09:42 AM
Amos 03 Sep 04 - 09:42 AM
Amos 03 Sep 04 - 09:40 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Sep 04 - 09:32 AM
Rapparee 03 Sep 04 - 07:28 AM
khandu 03 Sep 04 - 06:10 AM
Rustic Rebel 03 Sep 04 - 01:04 AM
khandu 02 Sep 04 - 10:18 PM
Rapparee 02 Sep 04 - 09:11 PM
Little Hawk 02 Sep 04 - 08:57 PM
Amos 02 Sep 04 - 08:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Sep 04 - 07:09 PM
Acme 02 Sep 04 - 06:35 PM
Rapparee 02 Sep 04 - 06:33 PM
Rapparee 02 Sep 04 - 10:53 AM
Amos 02 Sep 04 - 10:14 AM
Acme 02 Sep 04 - 10:06 AM
Rapparee 02 Sep 04 - 09:19 AM
GUEST,MMario 02 Sep 04 - 08:57 AM
Amos 02 Sep 04 - 08:55 AM
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Subject: Arthur Brown is Crazy
From: khandu
Date: 07 Sep 04 - 08:28 PM

I am the God of hellfire and I'll bring you

Fire, I'll take you to burn
Fire, I'll take you to learn
I'll see you burn!

You fought hard and you saved and earned
But all of it's going to burn
And your mind, your tiny mind
You know you've really been so blind
Now's your time, burn your mind
You're falling far too far behind
Oh no, oh no, oh no, you're gonna burn!

Fire, to destroy all you've done
Fire, to end all you've become
I'll feel you burn!

You've been living like a little girl
In the middle of your little world
And your mind, your tiny mind
You know you've really been so blind
Now's your time, burn your mind
You're falling far too far behind
Oooh!

Fire, I'll take you to burn
Fire, I'll take you to learn
You're gonna burn, you're gonna burn
You're gonna burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn!
Aaaaaaaaaah! - Ahahahahaha! - Aaahaha! - Aaahahaha!

Fire, I'll take you to burn
Fire, I'll take you to learn
Fire, I'll take you to burn
Fire - fire - fire ....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Sep 04 - 04:45 PM

That does make more sense, given the earlier reference, but once the wrong tune got in my head I couldn't shake it loose. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 04 - 11:33 AM

It was meant tothe tune of "Ruler of the Queen's Nayvee"...but the scansion may be a bit off...
A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Sep 04 - 11:05 AM

Here's a map so you can imagine their progress eastward.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Sep 04 - 09:51 PM

I once tried that armchair travelin' thing but I couldn't find where to put the key.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Gray D
Date: 06 Sep 04 - 03:59 PM

I was going to say that!

Gray D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 04 - 03:22 PM

Since Rapaire is off cruising on lakes and rivers for a couple of weeks, we're going to have to pitch in and take care of his share of the postings here at MOAB. I did a search for images to see where he's travelling and found an interesting site posted by an individual. I didn't read it, I just skimmed through to see that there are lots of pictures around the area. And here's an interesing place that may or may not be near his route but it has some nice photos (look for the thumbnails at the bottom of the page).

We can be armchair travelers as Mike and his wife make their nautical trek to the east.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 04 - 02:12 AM

4525


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 04 - 12:31 AM

Amos, is that sung to "The Beverly Hillbillies" or "When I Was a Bachelor" (The swapping song)? I can't find it in the digitrad.

When I was a bachelor I lived by myself
And all the bread and cheese I had I kept upon the shelf,
With a wing wong wadle. . .

does this ring a bell? I hate to type out the phoentic words for the nonsense part--I may have heard them wrong and don't want to make a complete fool of myself!

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 04 - 09:42 PM

You should take up Shatner worship instead, Amos. It's less time-consuming and more relevant in a cultural sense.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 04 - 12:43 PM

When I was a boy, I got ahead
By posting to a silly Mudcat Thread
I studied all the posts down below the line
And I practiced in a purely BS frame of mind!
I practiced writing BS so assiduously
That now I am a Member of the M-O-A-B!
(He practiced writing BS so assiduously
That now he is a Member of the M-O-A-B!!)



I leave the continued development of this interesting sub-theme to others of greater merit than I!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 04 - 12:37 PM

I can't think of anyone better equipped to do the sound track for the MOAB than Gilbert and Sullivan, Amos! They were masters of the craft.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 04 - 12:23 PM

Don't worry, Mom. I know CPR. You've only been dead a few minutes. I can save you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 04 - 11:57 AM

Dang, Maggie's talkin' durty agin!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 04 - 11:06 AM

Tit Willow,
Tit Willow,
Tit Willow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 04 - 10:18 AM

I will ponder it, BWL; meanwhile, I am honored at having achieved the High Accomplishment of having Put BWL into a Receptive Mood. A rare trophy indeed.

Pity I yam not that kind o'guy!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Sep 04 - 10:00 AM

I do believe that's the first time I've ever been called a dicky-bird. Been called a yard-bird, a shit-bird and a turd-bird before. I've also been called a dipstick, a shit-stick and a fuck-stick. If you have an interesting "stick" insult in your vast vocabulary, Amos, I'm in a receptive mood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 04 - 01:57 AM

Definition:small bird; adults talking to children sometimes call small birds dickeybirds


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 04 Sep 04 - 12:21 AM

Yes do have fun and don't shit over the rail, but what I really want to know is.... What the hell is a Dicky-Bird anyway?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 09:15 PM

Don't spit into the wind when you're at the rail. Have fun!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 08:23 PM

Dear Sirs and/or Madams and/or Madamoiselles and/or those as yet undecided:

I shall be away beginning Saturday, September 4, 2004; my return will be on September 22, 2004. I shall first fly unto Chicago, and from thence (another name for Navy Pier) set sail for Warren, Rhode Island via the Great Lakes and the Erie Canal. I will be on the good ship Grande Marnier, in cabin 40B. My passage has been upgraded so that I no longer will have to crouch sullenly in steerage, pulling on an oar to the tune of the drum and lash. I shall, rather, be lounging with the toffs and lollygagging with those who feel that they are my betters.

I realize that all of you bid me Godspeed, Bon Voyage, a Broken Leg, and all of that. I realize that all of you are insanely jealous. Please don't be. I shall be thinking of you all as I endure the warm rays of the sun and the gentle kiss of a late-Summer breeze as the ship knifes through the blue waters of Lake Michigan. As I call for the deck steward to refill my flagon of rum I shall think of you all.

Yes, I will endure the excellent cuisine so that you won't have to. I am always willing to suffer things like cruises or five star hotels so that the MOABites won't have to. And I do this willingly.

And as the song says, "Please don't burn our shithouse down." So, until September 22nd, I remain,

Sincerely yours,

Rapaire

(Actually, I'll remain the same person after September 22nd too.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 06:58 PM

who are all these people who write this tosh?


Tosh Writers in the Sky!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 06:55 PM

EWww---kind of takes the starch out of my "jejeune" remark to follow that little dirge, khandu. Jejeune is a cognate of the word used in the description of a young girl--jeune fille--though in this day and age there are jeune filles and there are jeune filles. That page is pretty funny when translated into English by Google. It probably has popups, but I am behind a firewall so didn't see any.


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Subject: Hedgehoppers Anonymous
From: khandu
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 06:45 PM

It's good news week
Someone's dropped a bomb somewhere
Contaminating atmosphere
And blackening the sky

It's good news week
Someone's found a way to give
The rotting dead a will to live
Go on and never die

Have you heard the news
What did it say?
Who's won that race?
What's the weather like today?

It's good news week
Lots of blood in Asia now
They've butchered up the sacred cow
They've got a lot to eat

It's good news week
Doctors finding many ways
Of wrapping brains on metal trays
To keep us from the heat


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,nikkih
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 05:43 PM

who are all these people who write this tosh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 04:31 PM

Ya mean it ain't a kind of bug??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 10:30 AM

No, dicky-birds, it is from the French for youth, and means excessively childish.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 10:23 AM

And I always thought "jejeune" was the vegetable group that includes beans and peas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 10:02 AM

Ah do thank thet ol' Amos haz done gone an' insulted ol' Super Ted. Suchs, I had ta go an' look up some of them words he used. Like Ah always thought "jejeune" was a month, an' here I find out that it's really part of yer stomach.

Imagine thet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 09:47 AM

Super Ted is a misguided, misbegotten, supercilious, meretricious, callow, jejeune, immature and inaccurate, disingenuous sod.

I thank you!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 09:42 AM

4500. I thank you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 09:42 AM

That little definition of terms, by the way, was:

MOAB POST 4500

!!!!



Neener neener!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 09:40 AM

From Latin Alma Mter, nourishing mother (epithet of certain goddesses) : alma, feminine of almus, nourishing;


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 09:32 AM

Yas! The Shithouse song fer MOAB Alma Mater fer sure!

By the way, Alma is a town in Georgia, about 20 miles north of Waycross. I wonder if there's a produce stand there that sells "Alma 'Maters"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 07:28 AM

It was shocking news, indeed, but I'm glad to hear he's ohm and back on his own ground again again. He should conduct himself with care for a while, though, as his resistance is probably low.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 06:10 AM

Thanks for keeping us current about Tom! Hopefully he will conduct himself differently in the future. I trust he is not planning a revolt!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 01:04 AM

I second that on the nomination for song of what-ever it was, but not only would I say go ahead and shit in my yard, but I also ask that you please don't leave your lump in my pocketbook.










PS. Tom came home tonight with some burns that travelled from his fingers through his left ear and I really believe his blood couagulation had to be altered in some way with the 277 volt running through it. (I thought he looked very electifying tonight)He told me to send his thanks for the love you all sent him.
So I do.


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Subject: Sir Rap! The MAN!!!
From: khandu
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 10:18 PM

This brings tears of joy to me eyes! Such wonderful sentiment & inspired poetry! I nominate this to be the MOAB ANTHEM!! It truly captures the spirit of MOAB!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 09:11 PM

This is it.

According to RG's index terms in the DT we owe this anthem, as we owe so much, to Our Neighbors To The North (i.e., Canada). Yes, Canada, the land of the beaver and the loon, of Gordon Lightfoot and William Shatner, of MacKenzie and Franklin, of Ian Tyson and Bruce McDonald, of Stan and Garnett Rogers. Canada, eelbucket to the world, the land of which Tom Makem wrote:

CANADA MY OWN LAND

The sun it comes up on the green fields of Newfoundland
On Vancouver Island, he sheds his last ray
The great Arctic Circle reflects back his glory
The wheat-laden plains grow more golden each day

Chorus:

This is my own land so fertile and beautiful
Majestic her mountains, her rivers run free
Priviledged the children, who call her their homeland
Canada, my own land for ever you'll be

Proud are the people who travel your highways
The farmer, the teacher, the factory hand
The merchant, the miner, the doctor, the fisherman
Proud to belong to this beautiful land

Chorus

Famed is your power and famed is your gentleness
Your bounty is endless from sea to shining sea
Your arms ever open to help those less fortunate
A bright light of freedom to those who would be free

Chorus

And so I propose this Canadian song as the alma mater, so to speak, of MOAB. I asked, and Canada doesn't mind at all if we use it.




TIMES IS HARD (SHITHOUSE)

Please don't burn our shit-house down,
Mother has promised to pay.
Father's away on the ocean wave
And sister's in the family way.

Brother dear has gonorrhea
And times is fucking hard;
So please don't burn our shit-house down
Or we'll all have to shit in the yard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 08:57 PM

EEEEE-YUAGHHHH! Urgh! I just listened to Ashcroft sing "Let the Eagle Soar" (which he wrote himself)

I really, REALLY need to hear William Shatner now to wipe out that godawful memory!!!!!! OUch!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 08:50 PM

It is not your fault BWL. Yon Rapaire has swole up full of hisself since we started praising him, and hence begun to do incomprehensible things and acking mysterious in order to appear of a higher order of being. But it is just flimflam on his part.

Yon Rapaire, come forth and speak plain, and tell the truth and shame the dibbil!! WHAT IS THAT NUMBER supposed to represent?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 07:09 PM

I have tried to find DT 0.8169, but I guess I'm just not smart enough to figure out how to search the DT using the song number. All my attempts have been in Vain. But, you know, that may be the problem! I've been searching in Vain when, obviously, that's not where DT 0.8169 is! I should know better by now. I've never found anything by searching for it in Vain. Nobody has. But Nobody's the only one who has! The rest of us haven't found diddley-squat by searching in Vain. Or maybe we have found diddley-squat and just couldn't tell the difference between finding it and not finding it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 06:35 PM

Whew! I managed to turn that one off before it loaded and started playing. Don't do that again, Rap!

4490


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 06:33 PM

Oh, My, God. He wrote it and sings it.

Crap.

Could he really be...










Shatner?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 10:53 AM

One "Amos" posted earlier: We need some kind of an alma mater song here, doncha think?

So I made a suggestion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 10:14 AM

Watchoo talk, Rapaire?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 10:06 AM

RR, your friend is very lucky. What I didn't mention earlier was that my mother bought the house after the earlier owner lingered then died of an injury that occurred when he simultaneously came into contact with a hot wire and an iron water line while doing some wiring in the basement. He wasn't a licensed electrician, or he'd have known to turn off the juice before attempting that maneuver.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 09:19 AM

I humbly suggest DT 0.8169.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 08:57 AM

Tom now knows the power of MOAB.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 08:55 AM

That's the kind of success that makes all the BS worthwhile. MOAB really really works!! We need some kind of an alma mater song here, doncha think?

A


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