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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 31 Dec 03 - 09:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Dec 03 - 09:49 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 03 - 09:18 PM
GUEST,Albert McSwiggins, reinstated gardener 31 Dec 03 - 08:13 PM
GUEST,Penelope Rutledge (in London) 31 Dec 03 - 08:00 PM
khandu 31 Dec 03 - 07:48 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 03 - 02:55 PM
Tweed 31 Dec 03 - 02:38 PM
Amos 31 Dec 03 - 01:22 PM
GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones 31 Dec 03 - 01:20 PM
Amos 31 Dec 03 - 12:57 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 03 - 12:32 PM
Amos 31 Dec 03 - 11:10 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Dec 03 - 10:41 AM
Rapparee 31 Dec 03 - 10:01 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Dec 03 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 31 Dec 03 - 09:42 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Dec 03 - 01:06 AM
khandu 31 Dec 03 - 12:19 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Dec 03 - 11:53 PM
khandu 30 Dec 03 - 11:51 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 03 - 08:20 PM
Amos 30 Dec 03 - 06:24 PM
Rustic Rebel 30 Dec 03 - 06:10 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Dec 03 - 11:42 AM
Tweed 30 Dec 03 - 11:12 AM
Rapparee 30 Dec 03 - 08:48 AM
Tweed 30 Dec 03 - 08:43 AM
Rapparee 29 Dec 03 - 11:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Dec 03 - 10:44 PM
GUEST,Penelope Rutledge 29 Dec 03 - 09:36 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 03 - 09:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Dec 03 - 03:24 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 03 - 09:45 AM
Rapparee 29 Dec 03 - 09:41 AM
Tweed 29 Dec 03 - 09:24 AM
Rapparee 29 Dec 03 - 08:52 AM
Rapparee 29 Dec 03 - 12:56 AM
CarolC 28 Dec 03 - 11:36 PM
CarolC 28 Dec 03 - 11:34 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Dec 03 - 11:13 PM
Rustic Rebel 28 Dec 03 - 01:41 PM
Tweed 28 Dec 03 - 12:37 PM
khandu 28 Dec 03 - 12:14 AM
khandu 27 Dec 03 - 11:40 PM
catspaw49 27 Dec 03 - 09:16 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Dec 03 - 08:20 PM
Tweed 27 Dec 03 - 07:53 PM
Amos 27 Dec 03 - 05:19 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Dec 03 - 03:05 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 09:55 PM

It's big in Southeast Asia.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 09:49 PM

Well, after the roaring success of yesterday's JABBERWOCKY post, we regret to inform you that tonight's subject is

KICKBOXING

I must reiterate that when I originally came up with this list I had no idea that I would actually be writing these posts. If I had known, I would have chosen more topics that I actually know or care about.

Kickboxing... Kicking someone in the face and/or allowing someone to kick you in the face for fun.

This is what can happen to people that don't learn to play guitar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 09:18 PM

Is Harry Lee related to Uncle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Albert McSwiggins, reinstated gardener
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 08:13 PM

We 'ad a feller in me 'ome town of Goole wot 'ad a name similar to 'Arry Lee Wigley, but 'is name was 'Arry P. Wiggly if I remember correckly. The "P" stood for "Peter". 'Arry Peter Wiggly. 'E got arrested for peeping in ladies' windows at night and for gross indesency it was, and sent to Blackpool. I've not 'eard of 'im since.

On the 'ome front I am proud to report that I am back workin' at Rutledge 'Ouse fully reinstated in me official capacity as gardener.

Mr Winston and Captain Nigel West 'ave agreed to a cessation of 'ostilities...I love that frase...cessation of 'ostilities. It means they ain't gonna kill each other for the time bein' and they even went out and 'ad a drink togever while plannin' bat'le strat'egy. The Jaguar wot belonged to Miss Pruella Tat'tle, our local gossip communist, some'ow ended upside down in a bog not far from 'ere! Isn't that strange? I expect some local lads got drunk and took it for a joyride. Miss Tat'tle is fit to be tied. As for Ms Rutledge, she 'as decided to spend New Years in London for a change, where it's nice and quiet.

I am not permitted to say more about the mat'ter. I wish all of you the best in 2004! Bot'toms up!

Albert McSwiggins


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Penelope Rutledge (in London)
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 08:00 PM

At the end of each year, I attempt to gave some glimmer of Grace to those who are less fortunate than I.
It is in this spirit of magnanimity that I wish you poor intellectual indigents a quite Happy New Year!

In the troublesome case of Tweed, I wish him a more appropriate "Harpy New Year"!

Ta-ta!

PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 07:48 PM

Amen to the Honorary Last! Wunnerful idea!
However, such a list would be incomplete without the great Harry Lee Wigley!

Don't you just hate it whenever your slithy toves grye & gimble in the wabes!
It probably wouldn't bother me as much if they weren't so slithy, but they cause the wabes to get too slithy to my liking! Anyone else have this problem?

Happy New Year, my dear MOABites!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 02:55 PM

Ah, yes, Winston, and picture a large, caulked logger's boot connecting violently with those well-muscled buttocks...and then a cowboy repeatedly slapping them with a pair of leather chaps....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 02:38 PM

dEEr Nancy Wemblton-Jane,

You are behind the times I reckon as ususal, as ar homeboys obver heer hab been warin' thar pants and showing thar asses fer some time now and is consimered to be high fashion (or hotculture in France). As fore Peniloppe, I beleeve she iz a frustrated female who only needs a good romp or three some evening. Send her scrawny butt over here and let the redblooded Merican MOABITES give her some advanced therayp and you kin leeve yore own spottybott thar whar it is.

Happy New Year,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 01:22 PM

Wow -- did you see the pallor on that fat ass? Someone from England, I expect. They all have pallid asses over there, right?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 01:20 PM

Hello there, wretched peons and victims of deluded grandeur. Hello! Tally ho! Wake up, Pretty Polly! You have a visitor! Yes, you, you blathering little covey of self-abusing MOABites, living in your tiny little world of convoluted rubbish and inanity. I see that you are attempting to arouse the wrath of our Penelope again. Well, it won't work...she has gone away to London for a holiday. I, however, am willing to spare just a little of my valuable time to deliver you a token of my esteem which should be sufficient to cover any and all future eventualities involving your feeble attempts at humour and controversy.

Picture this. I am standing at a large bay window in Twillingsgate. You are on the street with the rest of the urchins. I am now deliberately turning my back to you. I am undoing my belt. I am lowering my trousers...and my shorts...and bending over...thus presenting to you a well-muscled pair of buttocks...buttocks which you only wish you were the proud owner of.

Take a good look. That is my opinion of all of you. You are pathetic. Your "king" makes George the Third appear lucid. Your musical abilities are akin to those of a village idiot. You are so far beneath even contempt that there are no words fit to describe the lowness of your miserable lives.

I am now pulling my trousers back up, drawing the curtains, and having a good laugh at your expense.

Don't go away mad, as they say in America...just go away.

WW-J


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 12:57 PM

Sure! And brillig, too! And a bunch of other whacky neologisms!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 12:32 PM

Main Entry: 1gim·bal
Pronunciation: 'gim-b&l, 'jim-
Function: noun
Etymology: alteration of obsolete gemel (double ring)
Date: 1780
: a device that permits a body to incline freely in any direction or suspends it so that it will remain level when its support is tipped -- usually used in plural; called also gimbal ring.

Main Entry: 2gimbal
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): -balled or -baled; -bal·ling or -bal·ing
Date: 1875
: to provide with or support on gimbals

Carroll made up "gimble" I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 11:10 AM

Seconded; so let it be written!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 10:41 AM

I second the nomination of Red Skelton as long as Jack Benny can come along with him.

BTW - I was curious as to the derivation of the word "gimble". Specifically, that it might actually have been a word made up by Mr. Carroll that has entered the language. I looked it up in several online dictionaries and got zero returns. Now, if my memory serves me correctly, a gimble is a mechanical contraption on which a stage or movie set is built that allows it to be tilted (as used in numerous ship-sinking movies). Why did five online dictionaries not list it? Is the word I'm thinking of spelled differently? Anybody got an OED subscription? Wait! Rap's a librarian! He'll solve the mystery!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 10:01 AM

I suggest Red Skelton, and if he's added I'll second the motion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 09:56 AM

A PROPOSAL


I propose that Lewis Carroll, author of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass and other works of imagination and satire be awarded the position and title of

HONORARY MOABITE


The chances of Mr. Carroll actually posting to this thread and thus becoming a genuine MOABite are prettty slim considering that he's been dead a goodly number of years.

While we're at it, I further propose that the position and title of

HONORARY MOABITE

be conferred upon Ambrose Bierce, Mark Twain, Kurt Vonnegut, Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, Tom Robbins and all of The Marx Brothers.

(Please note that three of the above proposed honorees are still vertical and thus may potentially become genuine MOABites. In the event that Mr. Vonnegut, Mr. Pratchett or Mr. Robbins ever actually posts to this thread their honorary status will automatically be upgraded to that of the real thing. Should Mr. Bierce, Mr. Twain, Mr. Adams or any of The Marx Brothers post here I think a cyberspace interpretation of Steppin' Fetchits' "Feets, Don't Fail Me Now!" bit would be in order.)

What say ye? And would anyone like to propose any any further candidates for this dubious honor?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 09:42 AM

And so many of the words have entered the language: son, tree, slain, sword, gyre, gimble, and, the, catch and many others!

And if you like "Jabberwocky" you'd also like the longer "Hunting of the Snark." You can find the whole thing, all eight fits and then some, right here. Even the pictures! This is a rare first edition!

Oh, the joys and rapture entrapped therein!

"Just the place for a Snark! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a Snark! I have said it thrice:
What I tell you three times is true."

Would that I were reading again for the first time! That I could recapture the thrill of discovery I enjoyed then! But alas! I grow old, I grow old, I will wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled! But wait! What light through yonder window breaks? Every time I re-read Dodgeson I learn more, and while I can no longer have The Great Thrill I can enrapture myself with smaller ones!

Oh, I'm laughing and giggling! Smiling and waving!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 01:06 AM

My point exactly! The mental processes that Lewis Carroll went through in creating Jabberwocky are duplicated right here on the MOAB on a daily basis. Are we becoming rich and famous for out efforts? Nooooooo!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 12:19 AM

Hell! That feller writes like Tweed!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 11:53 PM

I don't even have to refer to the list to know what today's entry in the One-a-Day Totally Fresh and Virginal BS Topic sweepstakes is.

It's JABBERWOCKY!!!!

Ya know, I really don't understand how we've managed to escape talking about Jabberwocky before now. It stands alone at the pinnacle - the place where BS meets high art. The place to which all true MOABites aspire.

Just imagine L.C. saying to himself, "Hmmmm... It would really be fun to make up a mock heroic poem using made-up words. The trick would be to construct it in such a fashion that even though the words taken individually make no sense, the whole work creates a clear mental picture in the reader's mind. What fun! What total BS!"

Damn! I love this poem!

JABBERWOCKY
Lewis Carroll
(from Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, 1872)

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 11:51 PM

Someone attacking my KOTROT!!! HEADS WILL ROLL, I TELL YE!! HEADS WILL ROLL!!!!!!
WHERE'S MY ROYAL ROLLER OF HEADS??
WHERE'S MY ROYAL GRINDER OF AXES??
BRING OUT THE ROYAL CHOPPING BLOCK!!
BRING OUT MY ROYAL PANTYHOSE & LEATHER WHIP!!
THE KING IS WROTH!! WROTH, SAY I!!
BRING ME RUTBITCHES HEAD ON A PLATTER!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 08:20 PM

Don't worry about them SWAT boys not comin' to your aid if Miss Penelope attacks ya, Tweet. The damned Idaho Legion'll come at a gallop...if they're sober enough, and have found their pants, and too many ain't down with some social disease, and have got on their horses right way around, and enough of 'em can be found.

So doncha worry, we'll most probably show up and help.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 06:24 PM

Ahhhhh, Rustic, that was MOST satisfactory. A smoocho doble right back atcha! Hobnob away!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 06:10 PM

I would like to add an excerpt from Tom Robbin's new book Villa Incognito. It goes like this...

Dickie muttered upon exiting, "Jeeze! I wonder which god it is that's the God of Bullshit?" He didn't really mean it of course: under normal conditions he would have loved taken part in the discourse, and, furthmore, he hadn't thought the others could possibly overheard. Alas, the ever alert Stubblefield called after him:
"All of them, Goldwire. All of them. No particular god gets to preside over bullshit, or else they'd fight among themselves for the privilege. The gods tolerate the human race for no other reason than our bullshit. It's the only thing about us that doesn't bore them to tears."
"What about love?" Dickie thought to yell back. "What about our capacity for love?" But by then the door had swung shut behind him.

Tom Robbins understands us.
I would like to add one more thing. While I'm hob-nobbing tommorrow night, I will raise my glass to you all at midnight. I'm having the party so I will not be around to give you all new years kisses so I do it now.

SMOOCH
Rustic


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 11:42 AM

Tweed, Tweed, Tweed....

The Simple-minded White Alabama Trailer-trash boys (aka the SWAT Team) and I will gladly come to your defense, rescue or assistance in any event other than attack by Ms Penelope. We are brave, but we are not foolhardy.

I also have had to endure the barbs of her Harpy-like tongue and would rather wade a creek full of Piranhas, Cottonmouths and Electric Eels than to provoke her into an attack upon myself by assisting anyone with whom she is piqued. If I'm going to have to endure her abuse, I'm going to at least get the pleasure of being the one to deliver the insult.

I suspect I shall have to pay a price for that last line.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 11:12 AM

"Purports" is a good sound to it Rawpair an' I will try hard to use it in my everday conversments from hear on. I habv learned so much here at MOABKHAT.ORG I wonder if I will every be the same again! Thank you for yore support and new word and pleze visit the Tweedboard for all yore blues needs.

Purportedly,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 08:48 AM

Teed, if you're ever attacked I and the whole damned Idaho Legion will come ridin' to your defense. Or to your defence if you ain't in the USA but in some other country that purports to speak English. ("Purports" is a big word that means "pretends to".)

More than that, I've even dropped around to your Boardinghouse. It's pretty nice there, except for the cockroaches and rats.

So now I've come to your defenz and even promised more if you get attacked.

I hope that you feel better now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 08:43 AM

Dear Mz Rankbottom,
Yore personable attacks roll from me like oil on a mallard and I am convinzz thet thar is a dublin standard at this folkboard az noboby ever comes to my defens when you take yore jabs at pore Tweed. I must be lower than even pore Gargoil, who at least haz some allies I notiss.
Posonby we could hook up an have coffee and get a room later. I don't believe them Nancy boyfrens of yore's is satisfyin your carnal lustings and you need a good rider to set you back on corse.

Yerz,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 11:25 PM

Miss Rutledge,

Some years ago I was fortunate enough to enjoy a delicous repast at a very nice restaurant off Stephen's Green, Dublin. The quail veronique was excellent, as was the wine. But the appetizer was quite interesting: it was on the menu as a speciality pate, but when I tasted it, it tasted like nothing other than what is sold in the United States as "Potted Meat Product."

Quite an interesting experience, I must say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 10:44 PM

My dear Ms Rutledge,

So nice to hear from you again. As a lifelong Southerner myself, I can assure you that there are only two acceptable pronunciations for the word "Vienna". Contrary to popular belief, the preferred pronunciation is "VEE-ANN-UH". The only acceptable alternate pronunciation is "VAI-ANN-EE", but it is only used by people for whom the number of years spent within the educational system can be expressed by means of a single digit.

A little known fact is that there are a total of six native Southerners who have never eaten a Vienna Sausage. That compares with the four who have never had grits and the eleven who have never eaten a potted meat sandwich. Unfortunately, I am not a member of either of these elite minorities though I heartily wish I was a member of the latter. Vienna Sausages are like Manna compared with potted meat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Penelope Rutledge
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:36 PM

I should think that the proper Southern USA pronunciation of "Vienna" Sausages would be "VY-EE-nie" and not as the encumbersome "Tweed" suggests.
But, then, the poor illiterate boy even has difficulty in pronouncing the word "have"!

P.R.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:25 PM

Iceland is a nice place -- the world's oldest Thing is there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 03:24 PM

Good afternoon, fellow MOABites, and welcome to another installment in the "Things We've Somehow Escaped Talking About in 1740+ Posts".

ICELAND!

When the Norse explorers discovered Iceland, it was bleak, barren and covered with ice so they named it "Iceland". It turned out to be a bit of a PR problem. Who the hell wants to live someplace called "Iceland"?

So, when they discovered Greenland, which was just as bleak, barren and covered with ice as Iceland they said, "Whoa! Waitaminitchere! Remember how bad we screwed up by naming Iceland 'Iceland'? Let's don't do that again. If we name this place 'Coldland' or 'Freeze-Yer-Ass-Offland' or somethin' like that won't nobody wanna live here. Let's give it a nice attractive sounding name like 'Warmland' or... Wait! I've got it! 'Greenland'! Yeah! We'll sell really cheap passage to beautiful balmy Greenland and tons of people will move here. We'll just have to make sure to only sell one-way tickets!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:45 AM

sass, roasted on an open fire, with toasted marshmellers and chokolit on grahm crackers, buried in hot coals, and incinerated with a flame-thrower. Still don't like 'em.

Now, grits an' red-eye gravy with country ham, or mebbe ham and biscuits, or hog 'n' hominy and sorghum to sop up in the biscuits, why, them things are the food of the gods or even Southern folk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:41 AM

Yup, them's the ones, Treed. I've tried to like 'em, I've et them straight from the can, cooked in a good b-b-q


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:24 AM

Those would be VI--YEENA sausages I reckon, Aupaire. Tasty morsels of byproducts and the juice in the can is considered a delicacy by many in the southland.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 08:52 AM

I also polish sausages. But not Vienna sausages. Those are disgusting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 12:56 AM

I hobnobbed once. Yes, indeed, I admit it. It was fun. Good, clean fun. I'd do it again, drunk or sober or somewhere in between. And I don't need no 12-step program, either.

As for your hermaphrodites -- I'm not one of the chromosonally challenged. I's XY and don't care who knows it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:36 PM

P.S. I bet it beats polishing sausages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:34 PM

Snails are hermaphrodites. There's a poem in a book of poems about nature. It's "dedicated to the lonely hermaphrodite". It goes simply:

Know Thyself


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:13 PM

Hi, folks! And starring in today's episode of "The Yet Another Example of Stupid Stuff We Haven't Talked About on the MOAB Show" (drum roll, please)....

HERMAPHRODITES!

Yes, that's right, folks! Hermaphrodites!

Why? Because "hermaphrodite" starts with the letter "H" and we haven't done "H" yet, you silly.

Oh! You mean why "hermaphrodite" instead of some other word beginning with "H". Because it's the word on the list. Duh.

Why is it on the list instead of some other "H" word? Aw, gimme a break willya? Jesus H. Christ! You guys are worse than friggin' children. Read my lips: I don't know why I picked "hermaphrodite" to be on the list. It was just the first "H" word that came into my mind. Okay?

Aw, screw this! If you guys want to have some posts about hermaphrodites, do 'em yourselves. I'm gonna go see if Joe Cartoon's put up anything new. His Christmas bit really sucked this year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 01:41 PM

It is a certainty that I hob nob.
Amos has made it quite clear.
Depending on your definition,
sure, I likes me beer.
That's not all I like to consume, another fact known to all.
I like tequila, vodka and whiskey,
hell, just feed me alcohol.
When I'm hob-nobbing with my friends,
I am a jovial one indeed.
That's when the second definition results,
and ilk friends are in need.
So hob nob I does and hob-nobbing I do,
I will never deny my right.
A glass of beer, when friends are near,
I'm hob-nobbing again tonight!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 12:37 PM

HAW BeeDub. The Ode to the Giant Sloth is a beautiful thing. I am weeping still and in my sixth reading of it. It should be a simple thing to set to music for a quartet of banjos I think....or even dulcimers. And no, Khandarz I am not a hobber of nobs....not that there's anything wrong with that of course. This is MOAB but we must remain summat PC you know. I'm certain there are plenty of nob hobbers who are just chock full of BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 12:14 AM

A ROYAL INVITATION TO ALL MOABITES:

To honor the THIRD DUCK OF PELAHATCHIE, JOE OFFER:

WHERE? At "The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread "

WHEN?   At every opportunity!

WHY?    To show the Graciousness of the Inhabitants of MOAB!

RSVP

KING khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 11:40 PM

But Spaw (I sense it when you are lurking! I get an erection at such times! A Massive one!!)...do you or do you not hob-nob?

Excellent idee, KOTROT Tweed! P'raps Max will be contacting us soon!!!
But Tweed...do you or do you not hob-nob??

The Exalted King khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:16 PM

Only rarely do I enjoy lurking a thread as much as posting to it, but this one has me by the balls. To see khandu's spiraling plunge into dementia is a thing to behold and I feel the nadir is but a few heartbeats away.

I also do worry about some of the rest of you when you ask stupid shit of the Stupid Shit.......like how to say MOAB. He's from Mississippi ferchrissakes!!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 08:20 PM

Oh, hell! I almost forgot. Today's entry into the "Stupid Stuff We Haven't Talked About on the MOAB" sweepstakes....

GIANT SLOTHS

Giant Sloths once roamed the plains
eating grass and other things.
Now their descendants live in trees
way up among the birds and bees.
Sloths are not giant any more.
They're sorta small and slow, for sure.

If giant sloths were still around
we could catch one and knock it down
and separate it from its skin
and bake it in a large oven.
Or chop it into litle bits
and make sloth stew. 'Twould be a hit.

Alas, they are around no more,
those Giant Sloths from days of yore,
and we will never know the taste
of Giant Sloth with bouillabaisse
or stuffed wontons served in a broth
made from leftover Giant Sloth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 07:53 PM

Khning Khnadnarz,
I submit and propose that this pile of crap become an entity unto itself (but within the safety of Mudcat..) and the name of this nameless entity be khnown az MOABKHAT.org. The time has come and a sorry state of mind it is developed into, nevertheless and neverthemore, this dung heap should have an address or a rural route number at the very least....

Where is Max on this issue? Can I get an amen from Joe-who-hates-birthday-threads Offer? And what haz become of KatLaughing? Why do these celebrated individuals never post here? It is because there is no address and they are unable to find their way!!

http://MOABKHAT.org!! The wave of the future where we can sit mindlessly gibbering out nonsense and the ultimate truth!

Yer servant,
Tweed, Duck of the Southern Peninsula


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 05:19 PM

I hobnob all the time, and when I hobnob, I hobnob with the best. Hobnobbing with the best is what I am about and why I come to the 'Cat.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:05 PM

I've never hob-nobbed. Well, actually I have, but I didn't like it. In fact, I didn't even inhale.
Yeah, right! Sure ya didn't. I suppose you never... well... nevermind.


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