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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 23 Mar 05 - 04:37 PM
Bunnahabhain 23 Mar 05 - 05:55 PM
GUEST,Ralphs 23 Mar 05 - 07:27 PM
Bunnahabhain 23 Mar 05 - 07:31 PM
GUEST,No Blue Clickies??? 23 Mar 05 - 07:43 PM
GUEST,No Blue Clickies??? 23 Mar 05 - 07:47 PM
Layah 23 Mar 05 - 07:57 PM
Acme 23 Mar 05 - 07:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Mar 05 - 08:30 PM
Amos 23 Mar 05 - 08:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Mar 05 - 08:53 PM
Bunnahabhain 23 Mar 05 - 09:14 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 05 - 09:54 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 05 - 09:54 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 05 - 09:55 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 05 - 09:55 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 05 - 09:55 PM
Amos 23 Mar 05 - 10:05 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 05 - 10:14 PM
Amos 23 Mar 05 - 11:08 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Mar 05 - 11:29 PM
Rustic Rebel 24 Mar 05 - 01:02 AM
Amos 24 Mar 05 - 05:01 AM
GUEST,freds genetic ancestor/sib 24 Mar 05 - 08:40 AM
GUEST,Chuckles 24 Mar 05 - 09:06 AM
Acme 24 Mar 05 - 10:22 AM
GUEST,chuckles progenitor 24 Mar 05 - 10:52 AM
Bunnahabhain 24 Mar 05 - 01:02 PM
Rapparee 24 Mar 05 - 07:16 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 24 Mar 05 - 09:24 PM
Amos 24 Mar 05 - 10:08 PM
Rapparee 24 Mar 05 - 10:16 PM
Bunnahabhain 25 Mar 05 - 07:25 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Mar 05 - 09:21 AM
Rapparee 25 Mar 05 - 09:27 AM
Rapparee 25 Mar 05 - 09:28 AM
Acme 25 Mar 05 - 09:59 AM
Acme 25 Mar 05 - 10:05 AM
Acme 25 Mar 05 - 10:07 AM
Acme 25 Mar 05 - 10:13 AM
Acme 25 Mar 05 - 10:15 AM
Acme 25 Mar 05 - 10:17 AM
GUEST,Fred 25 Mar 05 - 10:20 AM
Acme 25 Mar 05 - 10:22 AM
GUEST,ralphs 25 Mar 05 - 10:23 AM
Acme 25 Mar 05 - 10:24 AM
GUEST,William Shatner 25 Mar 05 - 10:25 AM
Acme 25 Mar 05 - 10:26 AM
khandu 25 Mar 05 - 11:49 AM
Amos 25 Mar 05 - 12:01 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 04:37 PM

What?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 05:55 PM

How to type in clever new fonts,
When never revealing the point,
One has to say,
There is no way,
The last line ever comes right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ralphs
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 07:27 PM

Har! Ralphs are looking for pipsqueak Freds called Chuckles. Har! Ralphs hear hesheit is annoying one of your regular "contributors". Har! Freds know annoyance is Ralphs' job. Har! It's in our contract with the Galactic Overlord. Har! Section eight, paragraph four. Har! It says "Ralphs shall have exclusive right to annoy lower life forms without competition from other advanced races for a period of ninety-nine Galactic Years." Har! Freds are supposed to eat you creatures, not merely annoy you. Har! This Chuckles twit is so inept that instead of scaring the fecal matter out of the Bee-dubya-ell creature he is pursuing, hesheit is only annoying the human creature. Har! If the Bee-dubya-ell creature needs annoying, that's our job! Har!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 07:31 PM

Those oh-so-clever on MOAB,
Were talking of Goat Kebob,*
When it was though,
Poems are fraught,
With Troublsome ends, Oh God

* Alt. version of Kebab, from the turkish.

Where else could you find limericks with footnotes? Not too many blue clickies please....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,No Blue Clickies???
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 07:43 PM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,No Blue Clickies???
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 07:47 PM

CLICKY!

CLICKY!

CLICKY!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 07:57 PM

Bunnahabhain is trying to rhyme
But it seems he doesn't have time
To choose the right word
One not to absurd
And something that fits on the line


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 07:58 PM

Typos are not helpful when offering up limmericks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 08:30 PM

Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!! Ralphs are back! I'll take Freds any day! At least with Freds you know that it'll all be over after they've eaten you! Ralphs never stop! That incessant "Har!" after each sentence is the most annoying thing in the known Universe! Far worse than Tori Amos' singing! Worse than Shatner!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 08:42 PM

These Limericks not up to par,
Whose crudity tortures and scars,;
Failing scansion and rhyme
Should be barred for all time!
Sublimericks is all that they are!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 08:53 PM

Your last line doesn't scan, very well, Amos. If one pronounces "sublimericks" with four syllapbles, the last line has nine syllables instead of eight. Sure, it works if one pronounces "sublimericks" with three syllables, but one can't depend on the reader to pronounce it that way. You would've been better off to have omitted the "that".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 09:14 PM

Limericks call for some scansion,
And but a little precision,
Exacatitude, bans,
And fortitude, man,
You need to endure this derision!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 09:54 PM

I was practicing with my new sword this evening and I swear I saw something -- I can't describe the indescribable -- in the back yard. It sort of winked in and out of vision, but seemed to be mostly fungoid with ugly teeth and tongue; whatever it was was accompanied by a very, very large grizzly (which seemed to be mostly teeth and claws) which seemed to be chewing on the neighbor who stole my fence.

Bee-dubya, you didn't confound poor old Chuckles again by making himither confuse "Pocatello" and "Pensacola" now, did you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 09:54 PM

6966...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 09:55 PM

...7


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 09:55 PM

8


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 09:55 PM

6969, feels sooooooooooooooo fine!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 10:05 PM

The tradition of limerick-writing, BWL, allows for some stretched phonemes or half-beats without breaking form. It is natural enough to pronounce sub-limericks as one word, "sublimrix", and nothing is lost by it. Even with the intermediary vowel it will at worst extend the line a quarter-syllable given the natural curve the human tongue gives to dipthongs.

When you get over throwing stones...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 10:14 PM

Heck, I pronounce it as one syllable. But then, I tend to be monosyllabic, except when I'm writing the word "monosyllabic" which is polysyllabic. So if you're monosyllabic you can't describe yourself.

Why is that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 11:08 PM

How about "I"...?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Mar 05 - 11:29 PM

Precisely, Amos. And, within that traditional framework of stretching and compressing phonemes I believe you will find that my limerick which you earlier criticized as not scanning:

The very last line of a limerick
Is always the one that pulls off the trick.
All that comes before
That last line's not much more
Than fuzz on the end of a monkey's dick.


does, in fact, fit the traditional 8,8,5,5,8 format. It's the number of beats that counts, not the number of syllables. "Off the trick" and "Monkey's dick" may both consist of three syllables, but either can easilly be spoken within one metrical beat.

I rest my case.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 01:02 AM

Monkey dick, monkey dick, monkey dick
I see it three times,
must be a trick.
To say anymore
you'd call it monkey dick lore
And I wonder,
when they clean, do they lick?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 05:01 AM

A fine-looking case it is too, BWL. Searses best, no mistake.

I would suggest that the contrast is as between a road with some half-inch flaws in the surface asphalt and a road with six-inch potholes that make you fear for your frame. But my case is also tired and needs to be rested.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds genetic ancestor/sib
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 08:40 AM

MOAB - we freds appeal to you as one genetic progenitor to another. we freds are/were searching for offspring of past genetic transfer currently using self-designator "chuckles". This our/my gene-offspring is far too young for hesheit to attempt genetic replication even if sheheit finds compatible tranfer mates.

If you have any knowledge of our/my clone-young I/we are currently residing in a building of dried clay blocks in regional designation virginia, Luray. Very pleasant surroundings with many winged rats present to snack on. Though this pleasant is/was for me/us desiring reunion with gene-clone "Chuckles" soonest before the wee dear/s is/are making biggest mistake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chuckles
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 09:06 AM

I have no genetic ancestor with a W-A-G-T-C-A-W-A-T-G-A-A-C-C-W-W-G-T-T-W-A-G-T-C-A-W-A-T-G-A-A-C-O-4,T sequencing in the first genetic triplet or in the twelfth heptet. True freds know this; it is Knowledge. I will felicitously consume the creature Bee-Dubya-Ell if it is still within this dimensional matrix or any other to which I have Gate access. freds know why I must do this, for the creature Bee-Dubya-Ell was the proximate cause of Bubba-Bubba's Transition Without Issue and resulting waste of Star-A-Star genetic material. Fortunately, I have recovered the Labrador Retriever and will be able to propogate Bubba-Bubba's mamory therefrom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 10:22 AM

The dwelling Offred (with apologies to Margaret Atwood).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,chuckles progenitor
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 10:52 AM

no W-A-G-T-C-A-W-A-T-G-A-A-C-C-W-W-G-T-T-W-A-G-T-C-A-W-A-T-G-A-A-C-O-4,T twelth heptet on my/our genetic lineage!

And do not take that tone with me/us/we youthful being!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 01:02 PM

MOM!
chuckles progenitor is telling us what to do again. It's not fair! Why do we have to listen to him just because he's 37.9 times older than the universe! And tell him to stop sitting on ralphs, he's gone quite for a long time and turned a funny orange colour. MOM!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 07:16 PM

What amino acid begins with W? Or a 4,T? I know was C-A-T amino linkages are, but these are unknown to me.

freds must be weird, man, weird.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 09:24 PM

That's right, Rapaire. "What amino acid" begins with W. "Who's on first" also begins with W.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 10:08 PM

So does, WTF? Over!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 10:16 PM

I think that it's short for "Wussy," the amino acid that makes wimps.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 07:25 AM

WARNING WARNING WARNING!

For the next 20 posts we must keep up a active Flamenco ted thousnd post crasher watch. Our new C-A-T reduced amino protien gun will be most useful in this. The techniques must be perfected in time for the 10k, which intelligence predicts he will make a strong thrust for.

Bunnhabhain.

BTW, where can I find where to add various letter effects- size, font, colour, scrolling text, etc?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 09:21 AM

Well, I won't be making that 7000th post 'cause I'm off to the other end of Florida to sell pots. See ya on Monday


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 09:27 AM

Don’t Ask! You don’t want to know how
effects are done! Your soul is at risk!


It involves the sacrifice of innocent young
chickens, Khandu, and a mystical eldritch
diagram of the innards of a tube radio.


(PM me and I’ll tell you how I do it. It actually involves HTML, but there are shortcuts.)





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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 09:28 AM

Yeah, yeah, Bee-dubya, and someday the DEA is gonna catch up with you for selling pot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 09:59 AM

You Mean Like This?

(You should see what happens when you forget to close the marquee tag--it's a hoot, but really hard to read)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 10:05 AM

see what I mean?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 10:07 AM

oops. out of order.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 10:13 AM

Nothing's going through now. What's up? Maybe "Preview" is broken again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 10:15 AM

"Marquee" without a closing tag and not going through "preview."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 10:17 AM

Well, darn. The whole page sometimes crawls along when you do that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Fred
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 10:20 AM

er. . . whose gonna eat BWL if he's not home? Har! Chuckles WTF? are you doing there? Anyone could find that big red star, and now he's hiding under a letter. "A?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 10:22 AM

Aren't "Ralphs" supposed to say "Har"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,ralphs
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 10:23 AM

Har! Satisfied?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 10:24 AM

Geez, guys, I'm here talking to myself while BWL throws pots around Florida. Where's Amos? Sleeping in?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 10:25 AM

Little Hawk? Are you around? I haven't heard you sing my praise lately. If no one else minds, I might just step up to the line on this number. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 10:26 AM

7000


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 11:49 AM

HAW I GOT IT!!!! I GOT THE COVETED 7001 POST!!!!!!!!


HAW HAW HAW!!!!!

King khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 12:01 PM

I am right here!! Really!! I am! I am!!


A


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