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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 20 Nov 13 - 10:06 PM
GUEST 20 Nov 13 - 09:18 PM
gnu 20 Nov 13 - 03:03 PM
Acme 20 Nov 13 - 01:47 PM
gnu 20 Nov 13 - 07:15 AM
Amos 20 Nov 13 - 12:03 AM
Acme 19 Nov 13 - 11:37 PM
gnu 19 Nov 13 - 12:11 PM
Rapparee 19 Nov 13 - 10:32 AM
Amos 18 Nov 13 - 11:32 PM
Rapparee 18 Nov 13 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 18 Nov 13 - 03:53 PM
Acme 18 Nov 13 - 03:42 PM
gnu 18 Nov 13 - 01:40 PM
MMario 18 Nov 13 - 12:36 PM
Rapparee 18 Nov 13 - 12:17 PM
gnu 18 Nov 13 - 07:33 AM
Rapparee 17 Nov 13 - 11:34 PM
Amos 17 Nov 13 - 08:29 PM
GUEST 17 Nov 13 - 08:26 PM
Acme 17 Nov 13 - 07:59 PM
Rapparee 17 Nov 13 - 05:13 PM
gnu 17 Nov 13 - 07:47 AM
Acme 17 Nov 13 - 01:56 AM
Rapparee 16 Nov 13 - 11:21 PM
Amos 16 Nov 13 - 11:16 PM
Rapparee 16 Nov 13 - 04:50 PM
Pete Jennings 16 Nov 13 - 07:27 AM
gnu 16 Nov 13 - 07:10 AM
Amos 16 Nov 13 - 04:47 AM
Acme 16 Nov 13 - 12:21 AM
Rapparee 15 Nov 13 - 03:23 PM
Pete Jennings 15 Nov 13 - 12:10 PM
gnu 15 Nov 13 - 11:46 AM
Rapparee 15 Nov 13 - 09:57 AM
gnu 15 Nov 13 - 06:42 AM
Amos 15 Nov 13 - 04:15 AM
Acme 15 Nov 13 - 01:57 AM
Acme 14 Nov 13 - 02:31 PM
Rapparee 14 Nov 13 - 09:55 AM
Amos 14 Nov 13 - 09:49 AM
gnu 14 Nov 13 - 06:13 AM
Amos 14 Nov 13 - 12:27 AM
GUEST,laptopgnu 13 Nov 13 - 10:09 PM
Rapparee 13 Nov 13 - 09:27 PM
GUEST 13 Nov 13 - 09:02 PM
Rapparee 13 Nov 13 - 07:18 PM
gnu 13 Nov 13 - 06:43 PM
Hamish 13 Nov 13 - 04:06 PM
Rapparee 13 Nov 13 - 02:45 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Nov 13 - 10:06 PM

Guests to the MOAB should use a guest name or sign in. With this many posts we sometimes need a scorecard to tell all of the thousands of guests apart.

gnu, if you invest a few dollars in amber lenses to block blue light in the house in the evening, you might sleep better. Solar Shield over-glasses blue blockers. It's the lights and the television and computer monitors that may make sleep more difficult. Alice told me about this and I bought a pair and am testing them out. Put them on in the evening, maybe around 8pm, and when you feel sleepy, go to bed. Your brain hasn't been exposed to stimulating blue light for a couple of hours and should sleep better. Maybe it would help with the dreams.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Nov 13 - 09:18 PM

I thought Canadians just kept everything in The Big Walk-In Fridge they all share.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Nov 13 - 03:03 PM

Mental health day. Pretty much every day for me these days but not quite the same kinda day... until sleepies as I am not so stressed out when asleep until the nightmares kick in.

I took some of that stress by the horns today. Bought a new fridge. Maytag that qualifies for the Government du Canada 2013 Energy Rigginfriggin Savings. The Province du Nouveau NB will give me $75 toward it. My Frigidaire Leave It There Refrigyouuperator will no longer snap and crackle and bang in the middle of the night and wake me up and cause me STRESS! On Friday at oneish PM, the Maytag will be here and the Friggedupidaire will be toast. $800 plus plus $10 delivery and removal of the old piece of shit plus 13% sales taxed on. Of course, I bought it on sale at $100 bucks off on accounta... u know.

All I gotta do is clean off the half inch of frost on everything in the freezer compartment before I load it into the new fridge. Did I mention Frigidaire is a piece of shit?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Nov 13 - 01:47 PM

Took a day off today, called in sick. A self-declared Mental Health day. So of course I have to check in to see how MOM is doing in one of the healthiest spots on the entire Internet!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Nov 13 - 07:15 AM

Thanks, SRS. I hadn't thought to drop the "i" as it's seldom silent and my brain simply has not be functioning at it's regular 51% lately.

A, nuttin toit sir. I started my three good deeds a day quite a while back and it just so happens the elderly need help more often... something that becomes more apparent to me with each passing day. >;-)

Wednesday! Flier day!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 13 - 12:03 AM

I have a couple of first rate animals for you, Rapp.

Thanks for helping the elderly, Gnuzer. And clarifying the definitions, Stilly!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Nov 13 - 11:37 PM

Eurodinion = You rode in on (i.e. all of these fine examples)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Nov 13 - 12:11 PM

"Your search - Eurodinion - did not match any documents."

Well, took Mum to the new Target store. No need to go back unless there's a reeeeeal bargain in the weekly flier. Nice wide aisles is all I liked about it. Oh, sure, the sanitary napkins are cheaper when regular prices are compared but I doubt they'll beat Jean Coutu on a sale price.

I went to the Stupidstore but the checkouts were jammed. Whilst headed for the in door, I spied a wet, filthy PC Financial Card in the lot and took it to customer service so one down, two to go. Went to Sobeys and helped a lame woman find eggs and a couple of other items. Two down. I walked all the aisles twice, desperately searching for number three and my back said "ENOUGH! GO HOME!" Helped an old lady learn how to use the automated checkout. Three! just in the nic of time. I was happy. Then, gold! The cart wrangler musta been on lunch on accounta there were two elderly couples and an elderly lady waiting for little carts so I gave mine the the first in line. Then, the pain? I put n outta me mind, sir. I stode to a cart corral, roped 6 small carts and drove em back in. Smiles and thank yous. "Nuttin toit, nuttin toit." says I. Still gotta go back to the Stupistore for frozen Petite-Eclaires on accounta Mum's 87th is Saturday. You guessed it, $9.99, regular $12.99. I AM a smart shopper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 13 - 10:32 AM

Punning is the sole of wit, Amos. "Puns -- never apologize, never explain", you know. Repent, perhaps, but no apologies or explanations. Never. And no regrets even when you're standing tip-toe in a lake of boiling, stinking, dung heated by the puns you uttered in life, with demons gaily cavorting as they retort with their sharp barbs and jabs insulting every aspect of your sorta sordid past. Just reflect in the mirror of your soul on the pleasure your puns gave to others and you'll realize why you are there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 13 - 11:32 PM

The sheep down there are different. That is where they raise the rare mixed herds--the Fuca Ewe and the horse Eurodinion..



Sorry...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 13 - 10:28 PM

No, these were not the Straits of Juan de Fuca, but different, and more dire, straits. The ferry was called "SS Pinkybelle" and was used to move manure from Republic to Ritzville and back again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 13 - 03:53 PM

gnu, that musta been some blowout since Dean Martin died on Christmas, 1995. Frank Sintra, Bing Crosby, Eddie Cantor, W. C. Handy, Leadbelly, Janis Joplin, Rudolph Valentino, John Lennon, and Mario Lanza there as well?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Nov 13 - 03:42 PM

Juan de Fuca, one of the few Spaniards we kids needed to learn about in Washington state history class.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Nov 13 - 01:40 PM

The big party after the late NFL game last night had many musicians in attendence. It was a blast. From ZZ Top to Dean Martin to The Cleverlys to... Holy Moses!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Nov 13 - 12:36 PM

Rap - the thought of you "doing" Chonga is going to haunt me....
I want to wash my brain!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 13 - 12:17 PM

Tomorrow morn I shall sail away into the sunrise, arriving at my destination late at night.

That's right, Shame. I'm finally coming for you. I've had it with your mouthing off, your insults, your over-all stench, you blot on humanity. Pick out your gravesite because you're going to need it. Soon.

Since I'll be passing through Chicago both ways I might as well do Chonga as a side trip.

Both of these are "pro bono" jobs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Nov 13 - 07:33 AM

A, yes, you did sleep in the guest basement so you may have notice some of the larder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 13 - 11:34 PM

I had another relative who lived in the Pacific Northwest back when logging was King, Queen, and Ace. His name was Archimedes, but everyone called him "Chi". A third cousin, twice removed, on my father's side. Anyway, the family story is that Chi logged off a helluva lot of trees and one day woke up and never cut another. The company fired him, of course, and he took his turkey on the road. Chi became an early environmentalist, sabotaging high-lines and causing log jams. He got so he loved trees, a true tree-hugger. Among other things. He ended up being treated for venereal dry rot and after he died he was coated with spar varnish and used as a keel on a ferry in the Straits of Juan da Fucka. Never met him, just the family stories.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 13 - 08:29 PM

Fortunately, Gnu's man=cave has a large and generously appointed basement.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Nov 13 - 08:26 PM

Poor old Randy. Termites? How sad. Uncle "Peg Leg" Henry Pascal never had a problem with them. His problems were with the cops because he was a rum runner... a bootlegger. He stayed at Gramps house in winter and delivered groceries for Harmers and the Willet Fruit where Gramps was the "shipper" (2ic to the guy that owned the company). Uncle Henry would get 5 gallon cans of "Hand Brand Alcohol" delivered on the CNR from Uppity Canada or from runners off the coast of NB and NS. He would keep the cans in Gramps' back yard and deliver them on a toboggan. He delivered groceries by toboggan under Gramps' employ so that worked well for the bootlegging cover. Great story about the night he had a bunch under a blanket when he was going by the cop shop but never mind that. Better yet, he sent Uncle Chic for baccy one day as he was too drunk to navigate. Chic was about 5 years old. Pegleg tamped a pipe and lit it and got Uncle chic ta put his finger in the pipe whereupon, Chic screamed blue murder. Gamma raced in and that was that. Uncle Henry was out the door, never to return.

Thence came the tale, and song, of Henry Pegleg Pascal. Bereft of his winter abode, he sought refuge in the Queens County Jail. He was successful. He used his peg leg to kick in the plate glass window of the liquor store in Chipman, nb.ca. Drunk as a skunk but smart as a fox. And snug as a bug in a rug with three square a day until spring. And, then, back ta bootleggin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Nov 13 - 07:59 PM

That's certainly a long-range grocery plan!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 13 - 05:13 PM

And I thought I was a smart shopper.

Of course, if you live in Canada you can never tell when you'll be snowed in for several weeks or a beaver will gnaw off your leg and you will be stumping around until help arrives. Why, my Great-Great Uncle Randolph spent an entire winter snowed in in his cabin outside of Dawson back in 1901 -- he finally had to eat his furniture just to stay alive until breakup. If he'd been a smart shopper he would have had all sorts of stuff, including his partner, frozen when he could get to them easily. Instead he ate things like boiled leg of table. Uncle Randolph was powerful glad when people finally came to see how he was, long about August (he wasn't very well liked). By then the snow had melted down to the top of the chimney and Uncle R. was feasting on mosquito stew. He finally got out by climbing up the chimney (the fire below helped speed him along). Eventually he moved to Blind River, Ontario and opened a lumberyard/delicatessen. In 1912 he was devoured by termites.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Nov 13 - 07:47 AM

I get it now, SRS. Dunno why I didn't clue in on placing the lasagna in a cold oven. DOH! Enjoy yer scoff.

Sobeys is not expensive if you are a smart shopper. I am a regular at three grocery stores, the others being The Real Atlantic Superstore and the Coop. I buy eggs and certain other goods at Costco but I only go there when required on accounta it's so friggin busy. I read the weekly fliers on Wednesday and the sales start Thursday. It is extremely seldom that I buy anything not "on sale". I buy certain things at certain times of year. This is especially so in fall because crops are being harvested, beef cattle are being barned, etc. I buy my Xmas turkey when the turkey war is on. Every now and then, something unexpected happens. Like that there Italian fellah that said he'd never have gay people in his adverts. Last week, his pasta was selling for 99p a pound. Sobeys had a deal on Air Miles Cash spending... use $20 Air Miles Cash get 25 Air Miles (= $2.62). Pasta keeps well and even better if you plastic it and put it in the old US fridge downstairs. 21 pounds of of lasagna, spaghetti, macaroni, etc, should last me a while.

As for the gift cards, I expect $3000 will last about 16 months at present prices. If Her Majesty becomes whimsical again and decides that she and her old pals, including Barack, might have a bit of fun bombing the shit out of Iran, or Syria, or... my estmate would, of course, be adjusted downward. With a term of 16 months, I will still average a 5% ROR on my investment and that includes an allowance for the pittance of interest I would earn if I left the money in my TFSA (Tax Free Savings Account) at the Bank of Nova Scotia. I AM a smart shopper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Nov 13 - 01:56 AM

The lasagna is wrapped in foil and is put back into the Pyrex© pan it was formed in. If I put it in the cold oven then turn on the oven the whole thing heats more gradually and the pan doesn't break. I wouldn't put a glass pan with a frozen lasagna into a hot oven.

What are you going to do with all of those gift cards? I Googled Sobeys - even an expensive food store, it will take you a long time to use all of those cards.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Nov 13 - 11:21 PM

He could do two round-trips to Portland, ME. Or go 1,399 miles to St. Louis. Those distances are "as the crow flies."

Of course, a lot depends on the airline the miles are good on. There's a difference between, say, Air Canada and Air Saskatchewan. Not much, perhaps, but some.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Nov 13 - 11:16 PM

He's more than a librarian--he's an entire library!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Nov 13 - 04:50 PM

There's Trono, an Otwa, an Mnreall, an Halfax, an even Sandrews. My question is: if you divide 1,425 into an outgoing and a return, do they kick you off the plane a half mile short each way? Or a mile short on the return? Is the plane still in the air when they do this or do they land and make you walk half a mile to the terminal and (I presume) your luggage? If he wanted a one-way he might to Moose Jaw or Regina or someplace on Baffin Island.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 16 Nov 13 - 07:27 AM

So where can you get to (and presumably get back from, unless we're gonna get some jokes about one-way tickets...) within 713 miles and how much does a return flight cost?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Nov 13 - 07:10 AM

SRS... metal pan, I hope. I have heard stories of glass pans used thusly exploding even if they were used thusly previously. In any case, I have found the best way is to thaw such in the fridge for a couple of days first or to heat them slowly at a temp below boiling for a few hours and crank up the oven for the 40 minutes or so. I gave up following "cook from frozen" directions long ago on accounta I wants er HOT! buddy.

So, I'm up yer Sobeys yesserday fer ta get gift cards counta Sobeys put on that deal where ya get 95 Air Miles fer every $200 in gift cards right? That's $10 so that's 5%. And, soon as ya spend a dollar, that's more n 5% per yer annum eh? Even if ya buy a GeezlyIC at the Bank a Nova Scotia and lock up yer dollar fer five years ya only get 2.3%. Now, I might be just a good ol Kent County boy but I knows a good investment when I sees one. Smart shopper eh? Eh? I mean, ya gotta eat, right?

So, I says to the lass that I wants some $200 gift cards, 15. She comes back with two. I ask, she says, "You said a $200 card and a $15 card. No? I wants 15 $200 cards. She says, "Gift cards come in $10, $15, $20, $50, $100 and $200. How many of each do you want?" I says I wants 15 $200 gift cards. Blank stare. Like a deer lookin at a lantern just before the loud noise, which is what came to mind at the time as I was getting kinda annoyed. I says I wants $3000 of $200 gift cards? that would be 15 $200 cards? $3000 in total. She had a look on her face like a deer after the loud noise. She said, "I'll have to call the supervisor?" and she proceeded to explain why.

Shelly, the super on duty, was about three cashes over, setting out cash stuff. Says I, "Shelly!" and gives her a c'mere nod. Like a hello nod but with a sideways inflection added. Niceties exchanged, I says I wants 15 $200 gift cards. Beboop, beboop with the super code and the super card and she says to the lass, "Go ahead." The lass talked about how nobody has ever asked for that many cards before and other similar yak whilst she processed my request. Me, I counted the cards as she put them though. 1425 Air Miles are mine.

There's an old song? Jesus put his money in the Bank of Nova Scotia, And he never ever ever got it back. I guess he wasn't a good ol Kent County boy. Probly shopped at yer Real Atlantic Stupidstore too eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Nov 13 - 04:47 AM

You are a walking talking symbol generator in your own Right, sir!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Nov 13 - 12:21 AM

I found a hibernating lasagne in my freezer yesterday. Must have snuck in last week before the cold weather when the back door was standing open. Quite a feat, a lasagna sneaking through the yard past three dogs. I was told the best way to revive this little guy (also 9x9) is to put it in a 350o oven for about 90 minutes (straight from the freezer into the oven).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Nov 13 - 03:23 PM

I have no need of a symbol generator, for I AM a symbol -- of all that is good and beautiful in the Universe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 15 Nov 13 - 12:10 PM

I used to love SSG. A real handy tool.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Nov 13 - 11:46 AM

10C for the next few days with lots of sunshine so I just might BBQ a big spaghetti and bacon scoff. I can smell the aroma just thinkin about it. Must see if I have any SSG... slugs are to heavy fer spaghetti huntin. Juuuust jokin. Of course I have SSG.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Nov 13 - 09:57 AM

They're a nuisance out here and there's open season on lasagnas all year 'round. No license required, but you gotta report a really big one to Fish & Game.

Gonna have some tonight down at the big lasagna barbecue at the Elks Lodge. We got the liquor license and everything, so y'all come on over. Deb's cookin' so it should be good!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Nov 13 - 06:42 AM

I assume the reference is to Hamish, A.

I was busy with other things, SRS. Thank goodness this is a team sport.

Looking at my white t-shirt makes me wonder why I didn't don my apron when I cooked the lasagna yesterday. Still, it wouldn't have covered the right sleeve. I dunno about your lasagnas but ours put up quite a fight and this one was a just small one... 9X9.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Nov 13 - 04:15 AM

I can only suppose that the "New Face" referred to is Mister R's assertion of humility. I supposer further that this is not actually all that new. But he usually wears his first face.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Nov 13 - 01:57 AM

MOM, you're getting awfully close to dangling your toes in that yucky old swamp water. Here's a boost up out of harm's way. What are those boys thinking, leaving you to wander around here at the bottom of the yard so late at night?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 02:31 PM

Aha! A new face. Or a new old face. Welcome! Or Welcome Back, whichever!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 09:55 AM

To listen to SOME people you'd think hockey was a religion and Don Cherry was God. Of course, that's not so. Hockey is a distraction from The Truth, a vile primrose path to perdition and damnation, and Don Cherry is Eternal Evil (pronounced "EEEE-vil"). I would tell you The Truth about the Creator Of All, the Supreme Being, but I am all-humble and my omnihumility prevents me, lest you think I'm bragging.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 09:49 AM

DO what is right ina ll you do. In your heart.

That's what she said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 06:13 AM

I might attend if St. Bernard's would put on a wing and a prayer night. And they'd be sure to get a crowd if they got a big screen for Thursday night football.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 12:27 AM

The Jesuits thought the whole world was their cloister. But cloister is as cloister does, I always say. BEtter than a boke int he eye with a sharp sacrament.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,laptopgnu
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 10:09 PM

Humour is lost when I post from the lappytop. Maybe I should convent. Do not be the first to Jesuit lest you be Jesuit first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 09:27 PM

Jesuits aren't cloistered. Trappists, maybe, but not Jesuits. The bloody POPE is a bloody Jesuit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 09:02 PM

Rap... yes. Jesuit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 07:18 PM

gnu, I didn't know you were ever in a cloister. Monks or nuns?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 06:43 PM

Hamish... ahhh... cloistered eh? I understand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Hamish
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 04:06 PM

Oh, I dunno... just sort of got out of the habit (as the nun said to the...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 02:45 PM

Drive to the nearest aerodrome. Have your truck put on an airplane and flown to airport coded "PIH." I'll take it from there; have the airplane wait so it can take the truck home. After that, feel free to drive it anywhere and don't worry about the play in the master cylinder, it will go away soon.


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