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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 31 Dec 12 - 05:38 PM
Little Hawk 31 Dec 12 - 04:52 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 12 - 04:46 PM
Little Hawk 31 Dec 12 - 04:19 PM
gnu 31 Dec 12 - 01:08 PM
Little Hawk 31 Dec 12 - 11:56 AM
Rapparee 31 Dec 12 - 09:59 AM
Rapparee 31 Dec 12 - 12:50 AM
GUEST,999 30 Dec 12 - 09:53 PM
Acme 30 Dec 12 - 06:59 PM
Little Hawk 30 Dec 12 - 06:30 PM
gnu 30 Dec 12 - 05:35 PM
Little Hawk 30 Dec 12 - 04:46 PM
Amos 30 Dec 12 - 03:06 PM
Little Hawk 30 Dec 12 - 02:37 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 12 - 12:29 PM
Acme 30 Dec 12 - 09:56 AM
Amos 30 Dec 12 - 09:53 AM
Rapparee 30 Dec 12 - 08:25 AM
Acme 30 Dec 12 - 01:04 AM
Amos 30 Dec 12 - 12:24 AM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 12 - 09:46 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 12 - 07:38 PM
Amos 29 Dec 12 - 03:23 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 12 - 02:44 PM
Amos 29 Dec 12 - 12:43 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 12 - 12:33 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 12 - 09:27 AM
Amos 29 Dec 12 - 01:00 AM
Rapparee 28 Dec 12 - 09:30 PM
gnu 28 Dec 12 - 05:53 PM
Rapparee 28 Dec 12 - 03:44 PM
Acme 28 Dec 12 - 03:15 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 28 Dec 12 - 02:42 PM
Amos 28 Dec 12 - 02:12 PM
Amos 28 Dec 12 - 02:10 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 28 Dec 12 - 01:52 PM
Amos 28 Dec 12 - 01:49 PM
Amos 28 Dec 12 - 01:39 PM
Amos 28 Dec 12 - 01:39 PM
Amos 28 Dec 12 - 12:40 PM
Acme 28 Dec 12 - 12:02 PM
Little Hawk 28 Dec 12 - 11:57 AM
Rapparee 28 Dec 12 - 07:55 AM
Acme 28 Dec 12 - 12:14 AM
Little Hawk 27 Dec 12 - 11:43 PM
Rapparee 27 Dec 12 - 10:29 PM
Amos 27 Dec 12 - 09:23 PM
gnu 27 Dec 12 - 08:26 PM
Rapparee 27 Dec 12 - 07:55 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 05:38 PM

LH... "The one with the most impeccable coiffure is Harper. The one with the longest beak is Mulroney."

HAHAHHAHAHAAA!!!

All laffs aside... still two vultures on the flesh of all Canucks and the innocent people they indentured and kill(ed) in far away lands and here in Canuckistan.

Sorry... no more thread drift from me on this travesty. This thread is about Mom and apple pie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 04:52 PM

News just in! People have started worshipping Chongo in Effigy. Effigy, South Dakota, that is. Crowds of accolytes have been gathering at the Shrine of Chongo and placing offerings of bananas. It's not clear what or who started off this cult, but it appears to be only a local phenomenon at present. The Apostolic Church of Chongo claims to have over 300 adherents in their growing congregation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 04:46 PM

Yes, I'm merging them into one impeccably coiffed, long-nosed, entity. I think I'll call him "Pinocchio."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 04:19 PM

The one with the most impeccable coiffure is Harper. The one with the longest beak is Mulroney.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 01:08 PM

Hard to tell Mulroney and Harper apart in those pics, SRS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 11:56 AM

You are sooooooo generous and kind to your creations, Rap. Truly a compassionate deity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 09:59 AM

Please see the New Year's Resolution I have solemnly sworn, over in the Tavern. Mom will be proud of me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 12:50 AM

We are in SLC. We go home on the 10 a.m. bus tomorrow morn. My MIL is still dying and we may have to return to Merry Land within the next two weeks...but who can tell?

Amos, LH -- you don't have Martins. Those are actually plastic guitars from Sears. I just make you think that they are Martins. A Martin is not, really, a guitar, but a bohran. The Martin company only makes 'rans. And that Apolowhosis is actually a toy ukelele that plays "Polly Wolly Doodle" when you turn the crank, but I have clouded both of your minds so you think things are what they are not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,999
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 09:53 PM

In binary, that last post was number 1011011011101101.

Prime number, btw.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 06:59 PM

Look, MOM got a photo

And here!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 06:30 PM

Agreed, gnu. As for as I'm concerned, Canada has been given over to USA corporate/military-industrial interests by both Brian Mulroney and Stephen Harper. We see the damage all around us, and it keeps getting worse. They might as well have been appointed directly by Washington's insider lobbyists to do their bidding, rather than elected by Canadian citizens. The one place that seems deliriously happy about it is Alberta, our very own version of Texas in the Northland.

But, hey, I'd much rather talk about great guitars. Know what I mean? I can get some pleasure and satisfaction from a good guitar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 05:35 PM

"Mr. Calabrese, an especially vicious member of the Chicago organized crime family known as the Outfit, was serving a life sentence after his conviction, with four other men, on racketeering charges in September 2007 in what became known as the Family Secrets trial.

The trial was the result of years of federal investigation aimed at weakening the Outfit and clearing 18 unsolved murder cases dating to the 1970s. A jury found Mr. Calabrese the perpetrator of seven of the murders, but at a sentencing hearing in January 2009, Judge James Zagel of Federal District Court, by his own reading of the evidence, held him responsible for six additional killings."

Fuckin sick shit. Never used to happen in my Canada until the RCMP got their wings clipped under Mulroney. Before that, the fuckers were kept marginal. Now, the mafiaSSS... Italian, Greek, Asian, Bikers, and more... ply their shit "openly" - fer fuck sake! We got a strip club across the street from Moncton High School! How sick is that shit?

Harper tells us killing people 8000 miles away is a good thing because these people we SHOULD kill denigrate and subjugate women but the fucker allows this same fuckin shit across the street from a high school in Moncton, NB? WWWWWWTF?

Your rant may vary. Void where apathy is... well, there are so many choices, eh?

Sorry... that rant doesn't belong here in this thread. But, I am postin it anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 04:46 PM

Hmm. It's quite confusing, isn't it, Amos? Sort of like Russian dolls inside Russian dolls inside more Russian dolls.

Maybe we should forget about trying to figure it out and just spend more time playing our fine guitars. You have a Martin and an Appolonio, don't you? That's an embarrassment of riches! I am similarly embarrassed, with a Martin HD-28 and an Avalon guitar I bought from Lynn Miles after she'd been playing it in concerts all over the world for at least the last 6 years. Yeesh! What an incredible guitar it is...it has amazing clarity.

As for Lynn, she's simply THE finest songwriter around as far as I'm concerned. You may not know about her, but do an Internet search and you'll find her easily enough on Youtube, Myspace, and elsewhere. She's a veteran folksinger and songwriter from the Ottawa area in Canada...is about 10 years younger than you and I (I would assume, in your case).

Here's a photo of her and the guitar from Avalon's website:

http://www.avalonguitars.com/artists/lynn_miles.php

And here's her website:

http://www.lynnmilesmusic.com/

When it comes to both songwriting and the performing of those songs, I'd rather go to see a Lynn Miles show than see Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, or any other performer or band that I can think of...so having the guitar she played onstage for the better part of the last 10 years is kind of like unexpectedly becoming the owner of the Holy Grail.

Pretty close to that. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 03:06 PM

Now, here's a paradox. Rapp insists that all of us are HIS invented characters. So that means he is the only one who can be messed with by us, as the others are all his fictional characters. On the other hand it is a truism that such Gods, as Rapp presents himself to be, are artifacts of human creativity and therefore fictional characters. Therefore he is off-limits himself, being a fictional deity. But if that is the case his assertion that we are fictional characters is also, itself, a fiction and therefore discountable so we can proceed to mess with each other and inject our creativity into our threads of each others' lives. But that means, I am entitled to inject imaginary content into Little Hawk's time-stream, which would include making sisters for his created chimpanzee. Maybe all this is too confusing, and we should just have a free-for-all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 02:37 PM

Matter of fact, Amos, Chongo and his friends in the Chicago Police force as well as many of his civilian primate buddies have been toasting the death of the late and unlamented Frankie Breeze in a celebratory fashion. No one seems to mourn his passing! I wonder why? ;-) You have indeed been restraining yourself on the Chinga stuff lately, and it is appreciated. I was just reminding you and Rap of the Golden Rule as regards other people's fictional characters. Nothing more than that. Keep Rap in mind. He is utterly shameless, and must be chided for it now and then or he might become even more incorrigible than he is already.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 12:29 PM

Amos has the rear-end loader at his place. Maybe Gluon used IT.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 09:56 AM

Oh, look, someone filled the bird feeder, there are vultures hopping around the yard. Who found the roadkill bison? (Whoever must have had gluon pick it up and deliver it 'cause the front-end loader is still in the shop.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 09:53 AM

My condolences to Chongo on the passing of his long-time friend and mentor, Frankie "the Breeze", who passed away in Chicago recently. I am sure C. is all at sixes and sevens wondering which way to turn now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 08:25 AM

Now that I think about it, it WAS that redheaded bosun from HMS Higgs. She could drink any seven men and fourteen boys under the table and then go aboard dead sober, that Higgs Bosun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 01:04 AM

Some poor sod is going to Google "Higgs boson" one day and land on the MOAB and be confused as hell with those search results . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 12:24 AM

First of all, LH, the discontinuity in your idea is too silly to mention. The word you were looking for is Cabron, and there is no rhyme or reason to assume Gluon would have a sibling of any sort, being a subatomic particle sort of guy, let alone one with a Spanish name. Chinga, contrariwise, is a perfectly good street name, and resonates nicely with Chongo, and her desperate fall into houses of ill-repute is perfectly consistent with his into the dark underbelly of criminal types in Chicago. These things have to be done with style, see? It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing, as my pal Duke useter say.

Anyway, I already agreed to stop injecting Chinga's story into things, and here you are revving the whole thing up again!! Wassamaddah you?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 09:46 PM

Hit him with the Triple Dog Dare, Rap! That gets 'em every time.

And be glad I don't start making up false tales about how Gluon sold his aging mother and his poor sister Pinche' Cavron into a life of slavery and sin on the streets of old Chihauhua. ;-) I'm just not that nasty, you see. I respect your fictional characters and I wish them well and would certainly not dream of meddling in their lives in so capricious and hurtful a manner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 07:38 PM

So? Sue me. I dare ya. I double dare ya.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 03:23 PM

I borrowed a tune, Sir, but you borrowed the engine and the whole switching yard!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 02:44 PM

When I was a lad
And Guon was a pup
Over energy shells and mesons we'd stray
Just a boy and his dog
We were both full of fun
We grew up together that way

I remember the time at the old wormhole
When I would have gone beyond doubt
But Gluon was right there
To the rescue he came
He jumped in and then pulled me out

As the years fast did roll
Gluon didn't grow old
His eyes were fast glowing blue laser beams
And one day the physicist looked at me and said
I don't understand him at all.

With hands that were trembling
I picked up my positron gun
And aimed it at Gluon's virtual head
I just couldn't do it
I wanted to run
I wished they would shoot me instead

He came to my side
And looked up at me
And humped away at my leg
I yelled at the best friend that a man ever had
I cried so I scarcely could see

Gluon he has gone
Where duckdoggies go
And you never know when he'll come back
But if duckdogs have a heaven
There's one thing I know
Gluon is somewhere around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 12:43 PM

Once I had a duck-dog
Gluon named,
Strange as a dog could be!
He would leap dimensions
Past the moon
Every time he had to pee.

Gluon was a good dog,
In his day,
Loved to run and jump and play.
Every body loved him,
When he appeared,
In his special quantum way!

Say, do you remember
Gluon's style?
Zipping from Being into Not?
Say, do you remember?
What a smile!
Man that little dawg was hot!


He'd sidle up to bosons,
Lick their toes,
Slipping back to his secret home,
Glide around Arcturus
With his nose
Sniffing out that quantum foam.

Say, do you remember
Shades of Zen!
How his mass would go up and down?
Say, do you remember?
Now was Then!
When that duckdog came around!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 12:33 PM

I don't really care what the undertaker thinks when I die. It won't be my problem anymore, will it? I do have much anticipation regarding what comes next, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 09:27 AM

Because I ain't gonna pay his bill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 01:00 AM

What? Why? Because you sent him so much business? Because he thought you were irresistibly good-looking while alive? What were you THINKING?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 09:30 PM

Like Mark Twain, I want to live my life so that the undertaker is sorry when I die.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 05:53 PM

Ahhh, gee, that's rough, Rap. My sympathies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 03:44 PM

I have some of Trader Joe's pfeffernuss next to me here as I await information regarding what we are doing for dinner.

My mother-in-law's condition is very, very bad. It would be a blessing to her if she were to join her late husband. I do not say things like that loosely.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 03:15 PM

Not in the chocolate business any more, so I won't be making chocolate chip cookies again any time soon. But I have a loaf of bread rising to use for open face hot turkey and gravy sandwiches this evening.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 02:42 PM

You can insult me all ya want, buster, it don't change a thing. I am impervious to yer nasty remarks, see? You can't touch me.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 02:12 PM

Last night I whipped up a batch of the most delicious chocolate chip and chopped walnut cookies you have ever seen.

There are some virtues in the world that somehow manage to transcend all the ugliness, brutishness, and psychotic hatred the world can throw, and surely high among these virtues is the smell and taste of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 02:10 PM

My numbers may be mere math, old flea-bite, but they are several orders of magnitude realer than your hyperflatulent identity. Go suck a Colt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 01:52 PM

You oughta find somethin' real to focus on fer a change, Roscoe. The world don't give a hoot about yer 46 of K. Now if you was to invent a better mousetrap or find a way to cure male pattern baldness, then you'd be onto somethin' worth yammerin' about.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 01:49 PM

I am happy to announce that as a result of an extensive survey using the very best principles of social science research, it has been conclusively established that snow and freezing weather patterns are not actual things, but an urban myth invented by people in certain regions to entertain themselves and have something to post to Facebook about.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 01:39 PM

Of Forty-Six of K and Eight!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 01:39 PM

Our Mom will not have long to wait
If posts continue at this rate
BEfore we pass the Milestone Gate...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 12:40 PM

I have spent many days wending my way through LA traffic. Although it is awfully dense, especially on the freeways during rush hour, the drivers on city streets are mostly very considerate and up tot he give-and-take necessary to make traffic possible. There are always a few rectal types to be found anywhere, but by and large it is easier than Rome by a long shot. I understand traffic in Vietnamese cities is absolutely terrifying.

Your phobias, good Hawk, are unfounded. And you don't have to wait until three AM to get through LA unscathed. If you avoid the big rush slots from 7 to 10 AM and from 3 to 7 pm, you'll get through fine even on the freeways.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 12:02 PM

I remember always getting snowed on in the Wasatch mountains.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 11:57 AM

Oh? Why is that? Traffic heavy there? I was there once in the early 80s, but was just passing through on a bus. I don't remember anything much about the place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 07:55 AM

Y'all oughta try driving in Salt Lake City anytime of the day or night. THAT will convert you to or from religion is anything will.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 12:14 AM

I find I have to plan ahead if I have to drive through L.A. - find a place outside somewhere to stop, and then don't approach the city until 3am when you can drive straight through and out the other side and stop for the rest of the night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 11:43 PM

Just the thought of being anywhere near L.A. gives me the shivers! (And Las Vegas even moreso...but that's in Nevada.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 10:29 PM

"Shoveling" is what you do when the mudslides cover your lawn. Slipping and sliding in your car is what happens during an earthquake. Watching stuff float our of the sky is like watching the embers from the wildfires drift over your house and you hope the roof doesn't catch fire. "Snowmen" are those guys down at the latte joint who sell you nose candy. And "angels" are what the cougars make out of you when you go jogging.

All the joys of SoCal....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 09:23 PM

Really, I think you guys are BSing me agaoin. What is all this shoveling and freezing you speak of? I do not have these things in my life and see no reason to have them. Do they have some secret benefit? Why would one want them?

I'll stick with the floods of unrelenting sunshine, rainbows, surf, and the cleans mell of salt air. I got enough problems without pretending I never evolved fromt he North Pole.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 08:26 PM

LH... at that, when is the last time ya paid $6.99 a pound? These are "scallop pieces" so they vary in size but they taste just as good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 07:55 PM

The song of winter:

Slip slidin' away
Slip slidin' aaaway
Ya know the nearer your destination
The more you're slip slidin' away.


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