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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

John MacKenzie 12 Dec 05 - 10:24 AM
Acme 12 Dec 05 - 11:44 AM
Rapparee 12 Dec 05 - 12:43 PM
Amos 12 Dec 05 - 03:59 PM
Acme 12 Dec 05 - 04:11 PM
John MacKenzie 12 Dec 05 - 04:50 PM
Bunnahabhain 12 Dec 05 - 07:04 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 05 - 07:06 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 05 - 09:33 PM
Acme 12 Dec 05 - 09:45 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 12 Dec 05 - 09:49 PM
Amos 12 Dec 05 - 11:50 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 05 - 09:12 AM
John MacKenzie 13 Dec 05 - 09:29 AM
Amos 13 Dec 05 - 09:40 AM
John MacKenzie 13 Dec 05 - 12:24 PM
Amos 13 Dec 05 - 04:56 PM
Acme 13 Dec 05 - 05:48 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 05 - 05:50 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 05 - 05:53 PM
Acme 13 Dec 05 - 05:57 PM
Bunnahabhain 13 Dec 05 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 05 - 09:10 AM
Amos 14 Dec 05 - 09:48 AM
MMario 14 Dec 05 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 14 Dec 05 - 01:05 PM
MMario 14 Dec 05 - 01:10 PM
MMario 14 Dec 05 - 05:47 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 05 - 05:47 PM
John MacKenzie 14 Dec 05 - 06:28 PM
Bunnahabhain 14 Dec 05 - 06:52 PM
Bunnahabhain 14 Dec 05 - 07:49 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 05 - 10:25 PM
MMario 15 Dec 05 - 09:33 AM
John MacKenzie 15 Dec 05 - 09:47 AM
Amos 15 Dec 05 - 10:20 AM
MMario 15 Dec 05 - 10:26 AM
John MacKenzie 15 Dec 05 - 10:29 AM
Rapparee 15 Dec 05 - 11:46 AM
MMario 15 Dec 05 - 11:49 AM
GUEST,Greg T. 15 Dec 05 - 11:52 AM
MMario 15 Dec 05 - 11:54 AM
Bunnahabhain 15 Dec 05 - 12:07 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 05 - 12:18 PM
Acme 15 Dec 05 - 01:06 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 05 - 02:02 PM
Bunnahabhain 15 Dec 05 - 09:01 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 05 - 09:48 PM
Amos 15 Dec 05 - 11:48 PM
John MacKenzie 16 Dec 05 - 05:07 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 Dec 05 - 10:24 AM

Gaudy Amos Igatur perhaps!
or
Hang on a mo' Amos I need a mat
or
Am I batty?

G..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 05 - 11:44 AM

Yes. But that doesn't restrict your participation here. (At times it is considered a prerequisite)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 05 - 12:43 PM

Gaudy Amos Ignitor?!?!?!?? What is he, another alter ego of Johnny Storm?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 05 - 03:59 PM

Flame On, Good Buddy. I was RAISED on Torch!! Well...actually, it was DC action tales, but close enough. One superhero fantasy alla same me!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 05 - 04:11 PM

Amos, Mom sez "go back to bed!" and don't spread your flu germs around in here. You can get a cuppa bouillon on your way past the kitchen as long as you don't breathe or touch anything in there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 Dec 05 - 04:50 PM

Yes Amos Mom says don't breathe!!
G ☺


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 Dec 05 - 07:04 PM

What Giok really means, as I'm sure you know, is don't breathe in this direction.

Although, as this was over two hours ago, if you didn't realise this point, it may be too late.


Plus, a good virus checker will stop your flu germs fitting down the phone line. It is your duty to everyone to get one!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 05 - 07:06 PM

Sickie. At least you're killing the germs and bacteria with your Torch Touch. But then again, you've melted the plates and cups, and dinner is burnt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 05 - 09:33 PM

Behold! A theory!

Amos, the Gaudy Ignitor, is responsible for the melting of the ice caps!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 05 - 09:45 PM

Nah, we can blame that on Dubya. We can blame Amos' flu on Dubya also. And my dogs' farts. They're just expressing their opinion of Dubya as long as he's in office.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Dec 05 - 09:49 PM

You want to melt the poler ice cap? Easy. Well for the South Pole anyway it's easy. Here's what you do: make a flippin' BIG gasoline spill in the South Atlantick area. Let it all run down to the south end at the bottom part of the globe, eh? Then light it. The fire will melt the whole flippin' ice cap or at least most of it. I read that there is ground under there. When the fire goes out the ground will be exposed and there will be 85 billion barbecued penguins layin' all over. Package 'em up quick and use 'em to fight world hunger! This could change the whole flippin' world as we know it.

You heard it here. My idea. Don't steal it, eh? I am seekin' copyright as we, like, speak. Or a patent.

I am so flippin' sharp sometimes that I scare myself, eh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 05 - 11:50 PM

Well, I am done with this flu stuff. It was fun for a while but now it is boring. I am back at woik, aside from an occasional dizzy spell, doing right in the world.

I did catch up on my sleep, though. Almost 72 hours straight, with minor interruptions.

As for spreading viruses, I couldn't even try; I am closely monitored.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 09:12 AM

Where you working -- Area 51?

Are there a series of LEO satellites hovering over your head, taking pictures of everything (and I mean everything) you do, indoors and out? Are there black, early-model Cadillacs and men in black suits nearby? Have you awakened feeling both violated and that certain parts are missing and/or probed? Are there periods of your memory that are simply missing and your have no explanation as to why? Do dogs and cats incessantly stare at you and growl, but run when you approach them? Are police officers giving you strange looks? Are you subject to unexplained dizzy spells? Do you see penguins and polar bears in your back yard? Is your imaginary childhood friend Gawain visiting you again? Are you now or have you ever been?

If you can honestly answer "NO!" to fewer than one of these questions you have nothing to worry about.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 09:29 AM

No Cadillacs, but I did see a Hudson Terraplane, it had a calendar in the rear window, with a circle round the 14th of February, looks like he might be heading for Chicago.
Do we know anybody in Chicago? Could be a musician, 'cos it had a couple of violin cases on the rear seat too.
Guy said he worked in air conditioning and was going to Chicago to do a bit of ventilation. That should be nice then!
Giok

Amosvirusonatour. siccalifrespirator.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 09:40 AM

I just meant I can't send viruses through my monitor, silly!

As for those UFO drivers, man, I dunno. I've seen a lot of testimony about these black ops, higher-than-top-secret relations with the aliens. It's a wonderful forest of partial information and bits of fact with too many bits missing. If I were retired Imight spend some time trying to make some sense of it all; as it is, it stays firmly in the bullpen.

I would dearly love to get my hands on an intact scout vessel. That would be a trip worth taking.

Sigh....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 12:24 PM

Scout Vessel as requested Cap'n.
Please note aliens are only 10 microns high.
G ☺☻☺☺☻☻☻♀


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 04:56 PM

Giok:

That's not the context I had in mind; I meant one of those silver streamlined things that swoops in and out of the atmosphere at near-light speeds, turning on a dime and baffling the rubes for miles in all directions. I would call that a fun evening out, me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 05:48 PM

Here are some photos for planning your first trip in that scout vessel. This is the place to find a good parking place for it. (The site has a few popups, but most of them were blocked by my firewall).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 05:50 PM

You want a fun evening? Here's how to have a fun evening!

Get a large white (yellow or orange is even better) but light plastic trash bag. Tie four lightweight wires about 3 feet long equidistant around the opening. Bring the wire together together and fasten a highway flare at this point.

Now, light the flare and hold the trash bag to the the hot air from the flare fills the trash bag and sends the whole thing aloft. UFO reports will abound!

(Don't do this over populated areas or when there is a fire danger.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 05:53 PM

And if you're good, I'll tell you how to make a Cincinnati Fire Kite!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 05:57 PM

Total change of subject--look at this beauty. They just discovered it in Guatemala. 2000+ years old.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 09:47 PM

I have just recived the curse of Douglas Adams. I was offered no choice but to install starship titanic. Utterly confusing starts to come close. Like playing chess in the dark, using poker chips for pieces!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 09:10 AM

Honestly? I've never heard of it. That being the case, I never downloaded it. Even if I had heard of it I wouldn't download it. I will never be a slave to popular culture! Never! I am free! I am not now, and never have been, a member of the popular culture! Except for my Davy Crockett cooonskin cap back in the '50s, of course. And my Nehru jacket. And my peace buttons. And my pet rock. And my Cabbage Patch doll collection. And the Beanie Babies. But otherwise I am and have always been totally free of popular culture, except for Roy Rogers stuff. A total and complete waste, that's popular culture, and I for one am damned glad that I'm not part of it!

So there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 09:48 AM

Rapaire:

Got the scout vessel. Am en route to pick you up. No ferrous metal objects, and pack light.

Regards,


Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 09:56 AM

Do you expect trouble? Is that why you are telling Rapaire to pack his light Saber? Is there gonna be combat?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 01:05 PM

My light saber is in the shop. The photon accumulator/compactor blew out. I'll just bring my white bronze sword instead. It's non-ferrous.

But, what about the iron in my blood? I'll be damned if I'm going to drain off my hemoglobin just for ride in Amos' scout ship .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 01:10 PM

hey! I've seen that scout ship! beginning of june it was hanging around the Eastern Seaboard. AMos! Why didn't you tell us?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 05:47 PM

BTW - Mom, did you know it was minus 15 degrees C this morning? Sounds a lot colder then it does in F scale temps, doesn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 05:47 PM

And why can't I bring ferrous metal on board?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 06:28 PM

Because metal ferrets are dangerous, and they don't like 'Tom Corbett Space Cadet' reruns.
Giok
[Beam me up Commander Jessup.]


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 06:52 PM

Ferrous metal, Rap, metal! The haemoglobin in your blood isn't metallic. Very tasty to Ralphs, but not metallic.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 07:49 PM

They're talking about shutting MOAB on another thread! Talking about us overloading the server and other vile slanders!
I'm not worried though, the Mudcat R.I.P. thread will disappear soon though, and we will remain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 10:25 PM

If they take away my thread
If they take away my Mom
Tell me who will fling the BS?
Hell, a GUEST just don't know how.


(Sorry Tom.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 09:33 AM

well - if they do shutdown Mom, we'll just have make a part two - "MOAB after the divorce", or something...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 09:47 AM

Step Mother of all BS threads? SMOAB
Mother Superior of all BS Threads? MSOAB
Son of all BS threads SOABS
Hands off our MOAB HOOMOAB

G.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 10:20 AM

I don't get the thinking on this; we have long provided the Gold Standard of stress testing for all Mudcat server software improvements, and anyway, it's only eleven thousand items in a databse. Come on!

But I think Mother of all BS In Law might be nice (MOABIL).

Mother in law!
Mother in law!
Mother in law!
Mother in law!
The worst person I know,
Mother in law.
(Mother in law!)
She worries me so
Mother in law,
mother in law!

If she leaves us alone
We could have a happy home
Sent from down below
Mother in law,
mother in law!

Mother in law,
mother in law!


Satan should be her name
To me they're about the same
Everytime I open my mouth
Steps in trying to put me out
How could you stood so low

Mother in law,
mother in law!
Mother in law,
mother in law!

....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 10:26 AM

well - to placate the Ferengi out there - why not make it:

Mother In-Law of All B.S. - thus MILOABS - pronounced "My Lobes"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 10:29 AM

Friend of mine used to call his MIL 'The Exocet' on the grounds that he knew she was coming, but there was fuck all he could do about!
G.

LOBSTERS =   Leave Our BS Thread Extant Rotten Sods


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:46 AM

A small library near here has about 63,000 item and patron records in its database -- not to mention the records for over 250,000 circulations, book holds, and god alone knows how many overdue notices and "unresolved" records. All told, there are probably damn near a million records in it.

All in SQL, all retrievable, and the system runs accurately and fast.

I won't even try to guess how many data pieces WE have, but I have about times more items records ALONE.

MOAB could easily go to 25K or more and shouldn't harm the servers at all (assuming there are no other problems).

It's just another manifestation of envy, one of the Seven Capital Sins.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:49 AM

about 1.6 million records - not counting PM's etc. give or take a few tens of thousands.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Greg T.
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:52 AM

You sure?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:54 AM

yup.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 12:07 PM

That would make MOAB just over half of one percent of the Whole Mudcat.

It sorts of puts everything in perspective really, like staring up into a starry sky, or looking out to the horizion hand in hand with someone you love. It just feels right, without actually accomplishing anything at all...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 12:18 PM

What it MEANS is that time's a-wastin'! We've got to get going, flinging more BS! This is our chance!! Our moment!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 01:06 PM

But should our precious Mother get axed due to superstition or rumor, we need don't want to scatter our precious BS resources, so the suggestions are very useful. Son or Daughter of MOAB has to hit the ground running. Or. . .

Mother Of the Mother of all BS could be MoMOAB, or could must be MOM for short.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 02:02 PM

Moe Moab lives just down the street.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 09:01 PM

All this talk of family got me thinking....

Do mothers in law undergo an unusual change at the time of their daughters wedding?
It's just that the one I might get, assuming everything carries on for a few more years, I seem to get on rather well with. And the various other bits of family seem to get on fine as well, and have done in some cases since before either of us were born.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 09:48 PM

Yes. They do. They become terrible monsters to whom their daughters are always running at the slightest hint of trouble. Then they come and visit and carp and criticize the whole time.

Just check any comic strip or movie....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:48 PM

Life is not a comic strip. As it happens, I get along perfectly well with my highly skilled and hard working MIL, as long as the dosage is kept small.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 05:07 AM

Anybody told the denizens of Moab Utah, that people are plotting their demise?
G.


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