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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 24 Sep 12 - 01:14 PM
GUEST,Amos 24 Sep 12 - 01:12 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 24 Sep 12 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 24 Sep 12 - 10:11 AM
Rapparee 24 Sep 12 - 10:10 AM
Acme 24 Sep 12 - 01:13 AM
Acme 23 Sep 12 - 06:25 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 12 - 12:32 PM
Acme 23 Sep 12 - 11:36 AM
Acme 22 Sep 12 - 08:20 PM
Rapparee 22 Sep 12 - 04:30 PM
Rapparee 22 Sep 12 - 04:03 PM
Acme 22 Sep 12 - 03:49 PM
Little Hawk 22 Sep 12 - 02:33 PM
Acme 22 Sep 12 - 02:04 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 22 Sep 12 - 11:39 AM
Amos 21 Sep 12 - 11:08 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 12 - 10:39 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 21 Sep 12 - 03:15 PM
gnu 21 Sep 12 - 03:07 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 12 - 03:06 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 21 Sep 12 - 02:59 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 12 - 02:48 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 21 Sep 12 - 02:16 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 12 - 10:28 AM
Rapparee 21 Sep 12 - 10:25 AM
Amos 21 Sep 12 - 10:21 AM
Amos 20 Sep 12 - 11:49 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 12 - 09:01 PM
Acme 20 Sep 12 - 08:28 PM
gnu 20 Sep 12 - 03:06 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 12 - 02:33 PM
Amos 20 Sep 12 - 10:41 AM
Rapparee 20 Sep 12 - 09:44 AM
Rapparee 20 Sep 12 - 09:42 AM
Amos 20 Sep 12 - 09:38 AM
Rapparee 20 Sep 12 - 09:27 AM
Amos 19 Sep 12 - 11:43 PM
Rapparee 19 Sep 12 - 09:14 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 19 Sep 12 - 08:19 PM
gnu 19 Sep 12 - 07:44 PM
Rapparee 19 Sep 12 - 07:32 PM
gnu 19 Sep 12 - 05:46 PM
Amos 19 Sep 12 - 04:16 PM
Rapparee 19 Sep 12 - 01:12 PM
Amos 19 Sep 12 - 12:35 PM
Acme 19 Sep 12 - 11:52 AM
Amos 19 Sep 12 - 11:13 AM
Rapparee 19 Sep 12 - 10:08 AM
Little Hawk 19 Sep 12 - 12:48 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 01:14 PM

Tarred and feathered in North Carolina. Poor, poor Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 01:12 PM

HOWDY, Ma!

I yam enjoying the sweert cool morning air in beautiful Hillsboro, North Carolina, where they just about invented the fiddle and the bango. It is puredee beautiufl, and the food is world class, and the birds are singing in the ancient oaks. These are the lands where the Revolution was born, by a gang of two thousand farmers, before Lexington was even a spark in Paul Revere's eye. Mighty fine country, indeed. We had a jam last night that ran on until midnight with Abby Sales and a rich coterie of local suspects. Ya woulda been proud.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 11:27 AM

What last post?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 10:11 AM

Just ignore that last post of mine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 10:10 AM

Suffice to say at the moment the Jeannette McBride (who fled Ireland as a mistress to one of the Wild Geese) was a good, good friend to various aristocrats, who for some poxy reason decided to turn her over to the Directoire. Her execution is claimed by Paris, Rouen, Les Trois Maries, Avignon, Arles, Cherbourg, Rheims, Condom, and Lourdes; there is no reason to doubt these claims.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Sep 12 - 01:13 AM

And now that it's late and none of the boys have rolled into the driveway yet, MOM is going to take her current quilt and trundle off to her bed. The dogs are probably already there, keeping it warm for her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 12 - 06:25 PM

No two alike, that's for sure!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 12 - 12:32 PM

Mom's quilts are, ah, less than aesthetically pleasing and her propensity to match cotton with polyester double knit blocks and spandex remnants makes them, well, unique.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 12 - 11:36 AM

So is everyone on the road? MOM was kind of lonely this morning when I checked in on her. She had this out this morning and said something about Rap's wife doing a lot of quilting and visiting museums, so she's going to turn her house into a quilt museum so all of us will visit more often.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Sep 12 - 08:20 PM

And we'll envy you the trip!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 12 - 04:30 PM

Jist think, Ma: this time next week I'll be sittin' by Chesapeake Bay, lissin' to music and swappin' lies with folks like Amos, but in the flesh. Ain't nothin' like it, 'specially iffen you forgot ta pack clean underwear and they have ta haul ya to the horsespittle er something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 12 - 04:03 PM

Chonga, you might see the bull of the woods out this way. He might take you on and you could sling your turkey into a breech loader, but you'd probably come on as a bullcook and get a muzzleloader to start. It's a nosebag show in peatland with some pecker poles, but by breakup you could be cordelling or even have won your calks. Most likely you'd be at least a road monkey, but never an under cutter, even if you work the jobber's sun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Sep 12 - 03:49 PM

You haven't seen that one? It's a classic!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 12 - 02:33 PM

Wow. What a bizarre cartoon. The old city slicker vs rural hayseed dilemma, eh? I guess the grass always does look greener on the other side of the fence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Sep 12 - 02:04 PM

Darn, as I read the last few posts I was going to stick in one of those "I swan" things that Amos always uses. But he beat me to it.

So I'll share the Chongo the Chimp and Amos show instead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 22 Sep 12 - 11:39 AM

You can high-style it all you want, Amos, but you'll still never get to dance with Angelina Jolie.

Rapparazee, you are developin' a real impressive brand of lingo there. Most people nowadays wouldn't even understand half of it, but around this neighborhood? I think you would do fine. Too bad you was not born an ape, that's all I can say. You would fit right in with the North Side Gorillas, maybe even get to sit at the right hand of the Boss.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 11:08 PM

Listen to the lick that cat is laying down on the Hawl. I swan!!


Well, I don't actually, but I know someone who does.

Anyone, Adios, muchachas, y adios mu Mamacita, y todos me companeros. I am off in the blue at the crack of dawn to follow the sky-high trail back to the East coast. I will cavort with Dani and Janie and Bobert, and practice living as a free and self-defined human being once again. It should be most interesting.

I'll see if my iPhone can log in from Raleigh. Be good, and if you can't be good, be careful.

A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 10:39 PM

Listen, Aunty Chonga. Flip a rattler or go by hand, but high ball. You're flagged. The harness bulls heard from the Jesus guy and they want you honey dippin' or carryin' the mustard at the big school, maybe on a peanut farm. They think you rolled your possesh, but you wuz seem stemming by other boes. So get on the cat wagon or something. A word to the wise, you know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 03:15 PM

LOL!!!!! Ook! Ook! That was great, Rap. I damn near fell out of the tree.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 03:07 PM

Troggies, Trekkies, Tribbles... tribulations that are trifle in trash talk.

Oh, my pea soup is almost done. I make a mean pea soup even tho mum can't handle onions in it. But, I compensate with onion and garlic powder in mine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 03:06 PM

Lissen, daisy. Amos is jakeloo, he ain't no rube you can take for a sawbuck or to take fall for a drop game, see? He don't play the canary or spill and then do a heel-and-toe. He'll even let you crash in his nest if you don't bring the heat on him. I don't know what your grift is, gunsel, but if you don't want a goon to plant a bean in your pump you'd better lay off Amos. You don't want no Chicago overcoats, see?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 02:59 PM

Kree-Gah!!! Jeezus, Rapparazee, you been afflicted with an acute case of Advanced Amositis! That can prove fatal for most people within a few days. Get help fast, man.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 02:48 PM

What a disingenuous query! How puerile, but certainly troglodytic and demonstrating a intellectual panorama (or should that "pan-aroma"?) of néant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 02:16 PM

"Why does Chongo wear a fedora and talk funny?"

Why, Amos? Easy. Cos Humphrey Bogart did, that's why. And so did Philip Marlowe. Fedoras look good. 40's tough guy lingo sounds good.

Now I got a question for you. Why does Amos use oddball French words and phrases like "jejeune" and "mon petit" when he ain't French? Hmmm? Why?

Is he tryin' to impress the ladies or somethin'? Is he pretendin' to be a modern day Cyrano de Bergerac? Is he drinkin' too much Creme de Menthe? Inquirin' minds want to know.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 10:28 AM

The actual message from CERN said, "Gluon hat mit Higgs-Bosonen tummeln sich gewesen." Perhaps Eiseley or some other German-speaker can translate better than John can...his German is rudimentary, to say the least.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 10:25 AM

I've heard from my friend John, who works at Argonne National Lab. He tells me that CERN has hard evidence that Gluon is "cavorting" with Higgs bosons and they have no idea what the outcome will be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 10:21 AM

I sent Ebola off on a quest to find and interrogate Gluon on this subject, but she returned with the report that he was in too many places at once to be able to hold a conversation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 11:49 PM

EBOLA has wavy black mane and ochre skin. It's how she was drawn. Who am I to question? Why does Chongo wear a fedora and talk funny? Ebola has a pearlescent white horn, however, which she uses to Wreak Justice wherever needed.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 09:01 PM

I wonder how Gluon feels about all this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 08:28 PM

MOM, you're sagging mighty low this evening.

Amos, why isn't Ebola the Unicorn white? All of the unicorns in pictures and on Harry Potter movies are white. Centaurs could be different colors quite easily, but unicorns?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 03:06 PM

Well ain't that just hunky dory.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 02:33 PM

Haitian Creole. Apparently you don't know your Haiti from your Hunky.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 10:41 AM

See? SEE? THAT'S what I'm talking about. This Rapparee, the acerbic, the abrasive, the indolent, the self-indulgent, is a MASTER OF BS. He's right up there in the Clemens Camp. I tell ya, good BS like this, why it purely makes the world go around.

But, please: NO MORE HUNGARIAN!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 09:44 AM

Bon, Amòs, koulye a se vire nou.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 09:42 AM

We all took music lessons, of course. I learned to play the trumpet, Tony learned the trombone and Martha studied violin. Ted studied saxophone, trumpet and guitar -- more than any of the rest of us.
        Of course we all took piano lessons too.
        It was Ted's musical skills that prevented him from being bitten by the rattlesnake. And what with one thing and another it all led to . . . but let me start at the beginning.
        Snakes hibernate all winter, except for snow snakes, which estivate. But decent snakes hibernate and come out in the Spring. When they come out of their dens they're hungry and they look for food to regain their strength.
        Up to now I haven't said much about the regular snakes in the Boogie Swamp, but they were there. Garter snakes (which we called gardener snakes), black snakes, king snakes, water moccasins, milk snakes, hoop snakes, rat snakes, bamboo vipers, both rock and reticulated pythons, both king and spitting cobras, black mambas, fer-de-lances, coral snakes, anacondas, puff adders, asps and of course rattlesnakes.
        There were sidewinders, pygmy rattlers, massasauga rattlers, timber rattlers -- why, some days when you'd walk around in the Swamp it seemed that every stick you picked up turned out to be a snake!
        One day Tony picked up a copperhead to hit a piece of elm! That was exciting!
        As a rule snakes won't bother you if you leave them alone. And they do a lot of good for people! Really!
        But it was one morning in early Spring and the sun was up and starting to melt a light frost from the night before. It had been foggy and the trees wore a coat of rime so that they look like white jewel trees when the sun touched them.
        We set out, Tony and Martha and Ted and I, on a hike. We'd been inside all Winter (or so it seemed), so we hiked out and fooled around by Cedar Creek and by midafternoon we were on our way home, cutting through the Boogie Swamp.
        We took a break and sat on some rocks. I'd been whittling, and Ted picked up a stick and started to whittle also. As he whittled he whistled.
        He was whistling The Stars and Stripes Forever when and we heard the buzz of a rattlesnake right next to him!
        Ted started to whistle faster and faster, and as he whistled he whittled faster and faster. He whittled his stick into pieces, whittled the pieces into slivers and the slivers into sawdust. He whittled so fast that the sawdust started to smoke -- and none of the stuff he had whittled even touched the ground before it caught fire. We'd never seen anyone whittle that fast before!
        A piece of hot sawdust burned his hand and he said "Ouch!" and stopped whistling.
        When he stopped whistling, a big rattlesnake at least eight feet long crawled from beside him, coiled itself in front of him and looked at him.
        The snake's tongue kept going in and out, in and out, "smelling" Ted. Finally the snake started to rattle. Just a little, sort of tentatively and sort of jerky.
        Ted whistled a few bars of The Stars and Stripes Forever. He later said that he didn't know what else to do because there wasn't anything left to whittle.
        And you know, that old snake rattled right along with the music!
        Ted kept on whistling and made little motions for us to leave while the snake was rattling along with John Phillips Sousa.
        We quietly and carefully left and waited in the cemetery by Daddy's grave, our usual rendezvous. We hoped that he'd get away without getting bitten, but that if he did get bitten he'd get out of the Boogie Swamp before he got really sick or died. Otherwise we'd have to get him out.
        Finally, after what seemed like hours because it was, Ted appeared. He'd whistled just about every song he knew and had finally told the snake (who he'd named Rex) that he had to go. He said that the snake seemed to understand and even showed Ted a new shortcut out of the Swamp.
        After that afternoon Ted would whistle up Rex every time we'd go into the Swamp. They'd sit there whistling and rattling, and it got so that Ted would even sneak off by himself to see Rex.
        We never told anyone about this, not even Mom. How could you explain that your youngest brother played whistle in a duet with a giant rattlesnake?
        We asked Ted if he was going to put Rex in the theatre or in the movies and make a lot of money, but he said no, it was just in fun and besides it was Art. We said fine -- art, huh?
        Fall came and finally Rex went off to wherever he -- or maybe she -- hibernated. Ted missed his serpentine friend but got over it by Christmas.
        The next Spring Ted couldn't find Rex anywhere. He looked and whistled all over the Boogie Swamp, but there was no Rex to be found.
        Ted was really very disappointed, but he didn't let it stop him from doing other things.
        But it was a strange Summer, too. We didn't see ANY rattlers in the Swamp. None at all.
        School started and Autumn fell. Ted hadn't seen his slithery sidekick for a whole year.
        Then one day, when the leaves were red and gold and the sky was bright blue with white clouds and there was a hint of cool, we four were again hiking through the Swamp, returning from gathering hickory nuts along Cedar Creek.
        Ted was trudging along dejectedly, thinking, we knew, about Rex.
        We stopped for a minute and suddenly Ted's head snapped up and he looked off to the left and shouted "Rex!" and tore off through the bushes!
        Then we heard it too -- the faint sound of a rattlesnake shaking his rattles to the tune of The Stars and Stripes Forever.
        We followed the path Ted had cleared for us through the brambles and we found him sitting on a long rock, facing a good-sized depression.
        We sat on the rock next to Ted and saw that the depression was filled with rattlesnakes. There must have been seventy-five or eighty of them: long ones and short ones, fat and skinny, some with lots of rattles and some with just a few.
        And in front of them all was Rex.
        Rex coiled himself up and -- I swear that this is true! -- he bowed to Ted and made little bows to us.
        Then he turned back to the other rattlers and they formed rows and the rattling got quiet.
        Rex pumped his head a couple of times and the rattlers started rattling. It took a moment, but we realized that we were hearing The Washington Post March!
        When it was over we clapped and clapped and clapped. And it dawned on us that the reason that rattlesnakes were so scarce that Summer was because Rex had been teaching them the music he had learned from Ted!
        It was a grand concert! We heard Manhattan Beach and Hands Across the Sea and The Washington and Lee Swing and The Notre Dame Victory March and On Wisconsin and Fight Fiercely, Harvard and The Air Force Song and the Triumphal March from Aida and Home On the Range and Three Jolly Coachmen and They're Moving Father's Grave To Build a Sewer and Clementine and Bell Bottom Trousers and Anchors Aweigh and the largo from Dvorak's The New World Symphony and Eine Kleine Nachtmusik and Bach's famous Toccata and Fugue and at the end, of course, The Stars and Stripes Forever.
        Each of the snakes took a little bow after Rex motioned them up, just like a human conductor who was proud of his or her orchestra.
        We clapped so hard that they played Puff the Magic Dragon as an encore.
        Then they all bowed again and slithered away into a hole beneath another rock because it was getting dark and it was, after all, time to hibernate.
        Ted looked at his friend Rex and Rex looked at Ted and no one said anything. Then Rex left to join his fellows for the winter and we went home to a supper of fondue and flapjacks and fool and frittata and fillets and farl and fruitade to drink, and of course, fruit flambé for dessert.
        I don't know what ever happened to Rex and the All-Rattler Orchestra, but I heard some Mexican music that makes me think that maybe Rex taught maracas in Mexico. Ted may know, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 09:38 AM

Thou taunting mackerel, thou spiff, thou meaty-headed poltroon!

You don't ask people to REPEAT something they WROTE you!! That's dumb.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 09:27 AM

What say?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 12 - 11:43 PM

All right, you feather muckers and Mother posters; we gots only FIFTY-FIVE big ones to go before we ACE the $*&^#@*b 46 of KAY!!! Ya know whuddImsayin?

Let's make them righteous, now. No cupcake recipes, no one-word throw-away bullshit, no random titillation devoid of true BS values, okay? Make it rich, make it deep, make it vivid, make it fiery and above all make it BS.

Otherwise I yam siccing Ebola the Unicorn on youse.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 12 - 09:14 PM

Shiver me timbers, me hearties, it be "Talk Like A Pirate Day" and not one of ye swabs has spoken a word about it! I be telling ye mizzen-masted lily-livers a true story from when I was last in Port Royale:

A pirate captain walked into a bar with a steering wheel in his crotch. The barman asks him if he knows that he has a steering wheel in his crotch and the captain replied, "AAAAAAAAARRGH! I do be knowin' that, and it's drivin' me nuts!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 19 Sep 12 - 08:19 PM

That's tellin' 'em, gnu. Just the way I woulda put it....unless a lady was present, that is, in which case I woulda worded it slightly differently. I woulda said, "You want a piece of ME? Bring it on!   Go ahead, sucker. Your move."

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Sep 12 - 07:44 PM

Bring it on. Ya wanna fuck with me? Go ahead. Your move.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 12 - 07:32 PM

All right, you asked for it....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Sep 12 - 05:46 PM

"...losing track of the days of the week..."

And so it begins.

Take care. You still have much to offer and to do but you'd best be at it if you are losing track of anything. Llosing time is the worst as there isn't much time left.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 12 - 04:16 PM

Oh, what bibliocity, what soporific ambivalence, what a diasporic transcendental ignominy, what codswallop. That is not the "correct" answer, but the answer someone made up somewhere and posted to WikiANswers to satisfy the absurd question of a sub-literate. Now you have pretentiously pissed off the very heart of Ebola the Unicorn, and her eyes are beginning to flash. She lowers her horn in your general direction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 12 - 01:12 PM

"What genus is a unicorn?" Amos asked.

Assuming you meant the traditional, horse-like, land animal, then you will find that there are two genuses to Family Unicephalousvirialun: Protovirialum, the archaic, goat-sized, goateed, lion-tailed unicorn and Cephalousvirialun, all other unicorns.

Ask a librarian, get the correct answer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 12 - 12:35 PM

The coincidence of these two conversations is wunnerful to behold, and inspires me to introduce to you, ladies and gentlemen of the MOAB, a NEW imaginary crea-ah-choor to weave spells of delight and wonderment in the glittering halls of Casa di Momma:

Ladies and gennulmen, allow me to introduce the one and only EBOLA THE UNICORN!!! Tadaaa. Her wavy black mane and ochre skin belie the power of her flashing magenta eyes when she is aroused, and the power of her milk-white single horn to attract virgins and calm the sweaty breasts of military personnel is unparalleled in human history.

If you need a virgin allured, or a rabid military type becalmed, don't fuss or bother with old-fashioned remedies! CALL EBOLA!!

Other magical services available on arrangement. Fees subject to upward negotiation depending on complexity of spells and services. Ebola reserves the right to refuse to perform magical services for anyone when confronted with negative vibes, man.

Remember. folks, if you want magic done right, don't call for second-best. Call on EBOLA the UNICORN today!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Sep 12 - 11:52 AM

Funny you should mention that, Rap. I was going to ask you about Ebola. I hope you were very careful about picking up hitch hikers on this trip.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 12 - 11:13 AM

Oh, great. Now, in addition to offering me your phantasms to remedy my non-existant mental illness, you are asking me to shiver with fear at the thought of imaginary creatures attacking my body. Great. If I were to follow your advice, Mister Wonderland, I'd have enough paranoiac mental illness to justify asking the daemons for assistance!! It might occur to you that Linnaean categorization does not matter when applied to imaginary critters. What genus is a unicorn, pray tell?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 12 - 10:08 AM

Mom, I'm back in Idaho. Don't worry about me if you've seen the reports that the Black Death is in resurgence out here because it's not true. Plague is officially on the list of "Reportable Diseases" and no self-respecting disease wants to be reported to the Idaho Bad Diseases Police. So don't worry about those reports. Or the ones about Ebola, hanta virus, hemorraghic fever, mumps, measles, yellow fever, schistosomiosis, Guinea worm or Asiatic cholera. We're fine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Sep 12 - 12:48 AM

What a lovely idea! ;-)


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