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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 19 Apr 12 - 06:45 AM
Rapparee 19 Apr 12 - 02:11 AM
Rapparee 18 Apr 12 - 11:10 PM
Amos 18 Apr 12 - 10:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Apr 12 - 10:03 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 12 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 12 - 05:28 PM
Amos 18 Apr 12 - 04:47 PM
Amos 18 Apr 12 - 02:57 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 12 - 02:18 PM
Acme 18 Apr 12 - 02:05 PM
Amos 18 Apr 12 - 01:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Apr 12 - 06:24 AM
Acme 18 Apr 12 - 01:44 AM
Rapparee 18 Apr 12 - 01:20 AM
Amos 17 Apr 12 - 11:21 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 12 - 10:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Apr 12 - 09:30 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 12 - 09:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Apr 12 - 07:36 PM
gnu 17 Apr 12 - 06:31 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 12 - 05:54 PM
Little Hawk 17 Apr 12 - 04:47 PM
Acme 17 Apr 12 - 04:43 PM
Amos 17 Apr 12 - 04:21 PM
Little Hawk 17 Apr 12 - 03:11 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Apr 12 - 02:53 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 12 - 10:05 AM
Rapparee 16 Apr 12 - 11:06 PM
Rapparee 16 Apr 12 - 10:21 PM
Acme 16 Apr 12 - 04:00 PM
Amos 16 Apr 12 - 03:45 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 16 Apr 12 - 02:48 PM
Rapparee 16 Apr 12 - 02:36 PM
Little Hawk 16 Apr 12 - 02:12 PM
gnu 16 Apr 12 - 01:36 PM
Amos 16 Apr 12 - 10:53 AM
Rapparee 16 Apr 12 - 09:19 AM
Bobert 15 Apr 12 - 10:48 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 12 - 10:35 PM
Bobert 15 Apr 12 - 10:30 PM
Bobert 15 Apr 12 - 10:29 PM
Bobert 15 Apr 12 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 12 - 10:25 PM
gnu 15 Apr 12 - 10:07 PM
Little Hawk 15 Apr 12 - 09:17 PM
Amos 15 Apr 12 - 09:03 PM
gnu 15 Apr 12 - 08:21 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 12 - 07:04 PM
gnu 15 Apr 12 - 01:18 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 06:45 AM

Here's a leaked photograph of a member of the elite Dachshund Special-Ops team preparing for night-time deployment (CLICK).

Note the night-vision glasses and human-based launch device.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 02:11 AM

Three crack agents -- Asterix, Obelix, and Dogmatix -- have been dispatched to scout out this "Orilla." Support is being provided by Getafix.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 11:10 PM

If this is true, then "Orilla" should be taken out because it's a center for the terrorist "Dachshund Jihad." Maybe we should have it exploded, napalmed, strafed, and herbicided into oblivion...I wonder, are there any cultural or historic artifacts there that would bar such a course?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 10:49 PM

What a delight to have ole BeeDub back in the banter dance!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 10:03 PM

They weren't feral. They were a canine special ops squadron trained to leave their little lawn-mines and return to base under the cover of darkness.

The training camp is in a town called Orilla, or something like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 09:47 PM

My yard appears to have been visited by a vast herd of feral dachshunds, all of whom left their "calling card" behind.

This is not a joke or an exaggeration, either. It's the mortal, ever-lovin' truth!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 05:28 PM

He'd probably like to have a donation rather than clap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 04:47 PM

A round of applause for Max who keeps making Mom's place a better place for us all.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 02:57 PM

Humph. Keep your dally on, Mister R., and sooner or later you will be able to lay a dogie low. Just a little one.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 02:18 PM

You betcha, Stilly. Ain't nothin' like Spring roundup: draggin' them dogies to the brandin' fire, stretchin' 'em out, brandin' 'em, cuttin' 'em, put in an earnotch, and turn 'em loose agin. Then put them calf fries into the fire until they pop open and you got some gooooooood eatin'! Add a little beer and the Sons of the Pioneers singin' the background with the stars comin' out one by one an' mebbe in the background a coyote howlin' an' you got the Real Western Experience. It don't git no better'n that, lemme tell ya.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 02:05 PM

A sunny good day to you all. Mudcat Central seems to have been updated - has anyone tried loading it from the first post to see how long it takes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 01:38 PM

I respect anyone who goes into the maw of terror and the unknown with their eyes open, whether sailor, soldier, hobo or physicist.

Especially the physical aspects of terror which shake mortal identity down to its bootlaces.

I do think that adrenalin can be so exciting that it can become its own mission and its own brass standard, which I believe is a sad departure from the original path.

Like the difference between one really good martini and a long chain of half-gallons of Thunderbird.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 06:24 AM

It'd probably be in Spanish, with prices in Colombian currency.

It's a two-sided card. You have to flip it over to see the prices in pesos.

Not too many Cartagena hoes have MBAs, but they can all quote the current Colombian peso to USD exchange rate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 01:44 AM

Nope.

When it comes to the mud and the blood and the beer

you have to look to cowboys. (Thank you, Johnny Cash)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 12 - 01:20 AM

I and both my brothers, my father, and several uncle, great-uncles, and great-great uncles were in the military, Amos. We and they faced the cannons' roar, the bayonets, the leaden hail, the mud, the stench of death, weevilly hardtack, rotten salt horse, shoddy uniforms, long separations from our families, friends and sweethearts, and all the horrors of war while remaining pure in body and soul. Why, my very own brother became a genuine minister in a genuine Protestant church while he was in Vietnam, and he's a damned good one for a Catholic

No one in my family or the families of anyone I know would "cavort" with wicked women! Never! Some of them barely cavort with their wives, but that might be a function of age.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 11:21 PM

Oh, dear; imaginary players cavorting with imaginary playmates. Was the whole Military Experience just a bad dream?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 10:12 PM

But NO ONE in the US military would EVER consort with...prostitutes! Or even imbibe the tiniest amount of alcoholic beverage except by prescription of a military physician.

If this is true that these...these TRAITORS should be shot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 09:30 PM

Well, they never had problems with Secret Service agents hiring prostitutes back in the Clinton administration. Hiring them for ol' Bill was part of the job description.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 09:01 PM

It'd probably be in Spanish, with prices in Colombian currency.

And members of the US military seem to have been involved as well! OUR soldiers and/or sailors and/or airmen, playing around with good-time girls! This is beyond disgusting! The entire underpinnings of the Our Great Republic and its Armed Forces are at risk!

I mean, civilians like the Secret Service are one thing, but not the military!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 07:36 PM

And what's this "cavorting" thing? I've heard that exact verb used on several news segments to describe the agents' behavior.

How much does a pro charge for cavorting? Does she have a laminated card with prices?

Handjob - $25.00
Blowjob - $50.00
Straight Sex - $100.00
Cavorting - $200.00


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 06:31 PM

True Rap. It would have been kept in the closet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 05:54 PM

By God, when J. Edgar was in charge this sort of thing never would happen! FBI agents back than couldn't even have acne! They were supposed to emulate their Director, who lived with his mother until she died and with a good friend, a la Holmes and Watson. No cavorting with prostitutes during J. Edgar's time, nossir!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 04:47 PM

Hey, Amos, just blaming everything on the legacy of Dubya is an indicator of mental laziness. I'm sure these kind of shenanigans were happening loooong before George W ever made it to the oval office. My bet would be, it's as common a sin as people lying on their income tax return.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 04:43 PM

NPR is running a story about a plan to use Dodd-Frank to deal with operations that are "Too Big To Fail." Has any of you been approached by the government about MOM? She may be in that category.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 04:21 PM

They are supposed to be prequalified to have sharp eyes and high standards as regards those with whom they couple up, but eight years of W probably wore them to a neurotic, goal-less frazzle.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 03:11 PM

Yeah, it's just SHOCKING, isn't it? I mean...has anything like this EVER happened before????? ;-) I thought that most USA secret service employees and other government people were incapable of engaging in that sort of immoral behaviour. Don't they have to swear some kind of oath? Like in the Boy Scouts?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 02:53 PM

Hi, Mom!

I would just like to say that I find the stories about US Secret Service agents cavorting with prostitutes in Cartagena, Colombia to be truly appalling. Everybody knows the prostitutes in Cartagena are a bunch of skanks. Our Secret Service agents deserve better! Why weren't they flown to Cali where the really good-looking prostitutes are?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 12 - 10:05 AM

Giggles Malone just came back into town to replenish the whiskey stock. The group is over near Craters and yes, it's a Prairie Whale all right. Both scat and tracks agree, as does DNA analysis of the hair that got caught in some bobwire fence or another. Looks to be a big 'un.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 12 - 11:06 PM

Shame, if you actually wanted to participate the natives would probably agree. You might even be chosen as one of those whose sex changes: your possibilities are male, female, other, none, all, and some. I can't explain it any more than that, but if you are invited to participate and you are selected as a "changeling" a refusal would be considered unfriendly and you'd "softly and silently vanish away." These folks are open and above-board about it, but they are still dead serious about reproduction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 12 - 10:21 PM

Well, Rusty and a couple other fellas left just before noon. They each had a couple of remounts and a pack mule, so they might be out a while. Here's a picture of a baby one that got into a town around here a couple years ago. They're useful critters so they ain't hunted or nothin', because they keep the jackrabbits and dire wolves in check. Folks just like to keep an eye on 'em because they sometimes lead you to some placer gold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Apr 12 - 04:00 PM

We have come perilously close to settling into some substantial conversations lately. Good thing it's spring and the quickened pace of life in warm weather should bring some more frivolous content. Rap mentioned Rusty Leggs and Prairie Whales. Now I'd like to hear some more about THAT adventure.

Rescued via "back button" from the Purgatory of "didn't take."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 12 - 03:45 PM

I think it's a very good plan, and you should definitely go and do some detailed field surveys for sociological purposes, and learn to speak the local language and, if possible, marry into one of the local clans. When you have written everything down, THEN hitch a ride home.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 16 Apr 12 - 02:48 PM

SIX participlants! Holy FLIP!!! That sounds pretty flippin' hot to me!

I wonder how to get a space bus ticket to Rigel whatever the flip it is?

I should flippin' see if Artixes and the boys are around lately with there flyin' saucer. I will put out a sign in the backyard and try and attracte there atenshun. What do I say?

How about... LAND NOW. FREE BEER!

That might work pretty good, eh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 12 - 02:36 PM

The act of creation requires just one being, the Creator. The making of children (and hence grandchildren) requires two beings, at least among Terran mammals. On Rigel VI-4 it's much more complex, as the making of offspring requires six participants (four of whom must change their sexual identity three or more times during "the act"), vast quantities of helium "ice", several fire hydrants, and the left half of an old eggbeater (of course, that's not what they call them on Rigel VI-4). It's interesting to watch and no, it will not get you "all worked up" (unless you happen to enjoy tractor pulls, and then only slightly). The participants are not at all shy about it and have been known to send out invitations to the climactic dinner. If you ever get a chance to view this spectacle I highly recommend that you do so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Apr 12 - 02:12 PM

My condolences too, gnu. It's toughest on the survivors, I think, just like in war. I have a good friend whose wife has been told by the doctors she has 8 weeks to live, due to cancer. He's been having a tough time and was taken to the hospital with chest pains the other day. We're getting into that age group where we start to lose a lot of people we knew, I'm afraid.

You don't think about this stuff when you're young.

***

On another tack, Rap...it has occurred to me that:

1. Since you created all of us, I'm your son!

2. And Amos is my brother!

3. And since I created Chongo Chimp and Shane McBride...


(drum roll....)

THEY ARE BOTH YOUR GRANDSONS!!!!!

Think about that. And try to act as a grandfather should, okay? Be more loving and appreciative to your grandkids. Send them little presents on holidays and tell them how much you love them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Apr 12 - 01:36 PM

Ahhh... sorry. And, thanks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 12 - 10:53 AM

We came down from a different sort of mountain yesterday, driving down the coast from one of those Orange County areas, you know the kind, north of Dana Point...Huntington Beach. We had spent the weekend celebrating an advanced birthday of an old ship mate and swapping memories and rumours. Most interesting gathering.

Gnu, the banter with LH and Rapp is no big shuck, man. They create artificial ego-bubbles, and I throw lawn darts at 'em. It's an indoor sport, ya know.

I am sorry to hear 'bout your Uncle, man.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 12 - 09:19 AM

I understand that Rusty Leggs was up at the Legion Hovel last night claiming that he'd seen one of them rare Prairie Whales. It's not likely but it is possible so Rusty's leading a bunch of trackers out this morning. Rusty's middlin' honest so he might be tellin' the truth, at least from his perspective. Be great if it was true, becasue the last confirmed sighting was well over a week ago.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 15 Apr 12 - 10:48 PM

Thanks, Rap....

See ya'll next time around...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 12 - 10:35 PM

Good on ya, B.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 15 Apr 12 - 10:30 PM

See ya'll in a few months...

B:~)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 15 Apr 12 - 10:29 PM

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 15 Apr 12 - 10:28 PM

Looking fir, 4,500...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 12 - 10:25 PM

1. Balance, LH.

2. I understand, gnu. The funeral of one of my uncles was this past week. And I railed against the dying of the light (as the poet said). There's too many good going and not enough good still around or coming on. I've read the archived stuff on your Uncle Chic, and when you talk to him again tell him an old Infantryman from the US wishes him nothing but good...and I mean that.

3. I won't engage in fisticuffs for the simple reason that I might not be able to stop before I killed the other guy and then I might possibly get into a wee spot of trouble, and the paperwork is awful, just awful.

4. By the way, I haven't read the "Summa T" since the middle Sixties.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 12 - 10:07 PM

I ain't been smokin shit. I been readin shit. Oneupmanshit. Pontifishit. Makeitupshit. Puttheotherguydownshit. I wasn't raised that way. Verbal jousting I can understand... a battle of whits with humour and good nature... I love it. But, ye lads border on tedium at best. In personal company, I'd say you might come to fisticuffs... if you had the... oh, what's the word I am looking for... nope, can't think of it.

Surely Mom would expect better than mere repetition of insults ad infinitum no matter be they be seem to be enhanced with erudite and scholarly bullshit.

Don't mind me. I just talked to Uncle Chic and he is truly fucked with cancer. I am mad at the world. Really fuckin mad.

http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=143832&messages=14


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Apr 12 - 09:17 PM

I'm curious, Rap...

Why did you create Amos? What for?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 12 - 09:03 PM

The question, I think, is not so much what you have been reading, sir, as what you have been smoking.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 12 - 08:21 PM

Oooooh, I am wonderin. Twixt that and all the MPDs and pontifications of superiority and oneupmanship... ahm just wonderin... just sayin, eh? Pedant envy?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 12 - 07:04 PM

I thought of a way to prove to all of you, and especially Amos, that I created y'all.

It is obvious that I have never seen or done anything that I was not meant to see or do. From this it logically follows that I must have willed everything that I have ever seen or done, and that which I have not seen or done does not exist. Therefore, I am the Creator of All that exists.

(I was reading the Summa Theologica at the time, if you were wondering.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 12 - 01:18 PM

Nope... he's got multiple personality disorder. Think about THAT for a minute. Like an amoeba spliting into two and those two splitting and... ad infinitum. On second thought, don't think about. I wish I hadn't.


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