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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 20 Nov 11 - 05:26 PM
Amos 20 Nov 11 - 03:06 PM
Amos 20 Nov 11 - 02:42 PM
Acme 20 Nov 11 - 01:08 PM
Little Hawk 20 Nov 11 - 12:32 PM
Rapparee 20 Nov 11 - 09:10 AM
Acme 19 Nov 11 - 11:18 PM
Amos 19 Nov 11 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 19 Nov 11 - 10:06 PM
Rapparee 19 Nov 11 - 08:31 PM
gnu 19 Nov 11 - 06:34 PM
Amos 19 Nov 11 - 06:20 PM
Rapparee 19 Nov 11 - 06:10 PM
gnu 19 Nov 11 - 04:57 PM
Amos 19 Nov 11 - 02:18 PM
Rapparee 19 Nov 11 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 18 Nov 11 - 09:19 PM
Janie 18 Nov 11 - 07:44 PM
Janie 18 Nov 11 - 07:43 PM
Amos 18 Nov 11 - 03:39 PM
Acme 18 Nov 11 - 10:28 AM
Rapparee 18 Nov 11 - 09:45 AM
Amos 18 Nov 11 - 09:31 AM
Eiseley 18 Nov 11 - 09:13 AM
Acme 17 Nov 11 - 11:01 PM
Rapparee 17 Nov 11 - 10:27 PM
Amos 17 Nov 11 - 06:12 PM
Little Hawk 17 Nov 11 - 05:41 PM
Acme 17 Nov 11 - 05:35 PM
Amos 17 Nov 11 - 03:27 PM
gnu 17 Nov 11 - 02:54 PM
Rapparee 17 Nov 11 - 02:38 PM
Amos 17 Nov 11 - 12:47 PM
Little Hawk 17 Nov 11 - 11:27 AM
Acme 17 Nov 11 - 10:26 AM
Amos 17 Nov 11 - 10:18 AM
Rapparee 17 Nov 11 - 09:28 AM
Amos 17 Nov 11 - 09:23 AM
Rapparee 16 Nov 11 - 08:45 PM
Little Hawk 16 Nov 11 - 08:27 PM
Rapparee 16 Nov 11 - 08:22 PM
Acme 16 Nov 11 - 06:18 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 16 Nov 11 - 06:10 PM
Little Hawk 16 Nov 11 - 05:41 PM
Amos 16 Nov 11 - 05:33 PM
gnu 16 Nov 11 - 04:28 PM
Amos 16 Nov 11 - 03:53 PM
Amos 16 Nov 11 - 03:13 PM
Little Hawk 16 Nov 11 - 01:09 PM
Amos 16 Nov 11 - 12:47 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 11 - 05:26 PM

Last night we had Alice to dinner; Alice is 78 years old and leathery as a working bridle, with bright black eyes that are always laughing. She is bright of soul, having been through six hells in her many years. She is a wrangler and a rider and a lover of beaten dogs and good horses.

I served a nice dinner of brown rice with vegetables and nuts, broiled bison flank steak, red wine and salad.

It was nice sipping wine and talking to Alice. I sang her "Buffalo Skinners" and we talked about all sorts of things. Then she went home and we washed all the dishes so we would not have to deal with them in the morning.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 11 - 03:06 PM

There's a rare cold snap blowing through my SOtuhern California town, with gray skies and rattling branches, and a dank chill to it all which I am ill equipped to survive. I suffer, and wish for summer again. I am even wearing a sweater. But to no avail!! I am wearing my wooly bedroom slippers, tyoo!! But nothing works!!

Then in my fit of chilled shivers I remember Eiseley, whose patient fingers made me a pair of beautiful warm green woolie socks for my footsies. I hasten to my old bureau and dig them out, and put them on!!! Ahh, relief!! Warmth!! The chills subside and I can think clearly once more.

So today I am grateful to our own Ms. Eiseley whose perspicacity and wit are matched only by her dexterity and generosity of soul.

Thank you, Ms. Eiseley!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 11 - 02:42 PM

Left my vorpal blade out in the rain,
And it rusted 'til I can't use it again
And I don't think I can take it
'Cause it took so long to make it
And the Elvin smith won't work for me agaiiin!
Oh, noooooooo!

The gods decree the man who battles,
Takes his stand and roars and rattles,
Takes what he has and stands for truth,
Fights on for justice, gilt and sooth,
Shall be rewarded life composed
Full free of ruth, and warm of toes
And by his heart-full use of Self
Shall gain composure, and good pelf.
While he who far from struggle bends
And to assert his truth forfends,
Shall slowly --as he condescends --
Succumb to spiritual bends
And like some sanctimonious Hessian
Be all undone by decompression,
And on the heights, shall fall in flight,
Because, when low, he would not fight.

Addison Cartwheel Noumena-Froth III
Chastising Superiority Everywhere I Go, and Other Songs
Phillamon and Fuckett, Philadelphia, 1852


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Nov 11 - 01:08 PM

Would a vorpal blade rust if it was left out in the rain?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Nov 11 - 12:32 PM

I tune in almost every day here to watch the epic battles of those mighty heroes of legend and lore, the Anomalous Amos and the Raging Rapparee, swinging their vorpal blades wildly 'midst roiling clouds of dust and purple prose as the beasts of the field flee in terror all around them and the very Gods above lift a scandalize eyebrow in wonder at the passion and folly of mortal man in the grip of his untrammeled ego.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 11 - 09:10 AM

Oh, yeah. Hi, Janie! What's up?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Nov 11 - 11:18 PM

Whew! Took a while to wade through all of that.

Janie, was there something you were trying to say?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 11 - 10:51 PM

Silly man. Language, ordinary and creative use of, is not plagiarism; while I am sure it would make you comfortable not to know the difference, there is no sense in pretending.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 11 - 10:06 PM

Then there came the hero Amos
Red his rod and red his ringlets
Dripping downward hiding fright-face
Hiding hideous halfling haunted
Gripping grimly a Gibson guitar
Quite at ready to marinate Martins.
This was Amos who fought the sea-mares
Fought the whale-fish fought the monster
Grendel's son hight Junior Grendel
Left him there sword-slashed and axe-cleaved
Long his mother weeped   o'er "Junie"
Long her eyes shed drops of salt-water
Until the Ocean rose itself up
Left its banks its meets and bounds
Leaving longships high on hillocks
Leaving longships moored on mountains
Heroes gon a-viking stranded 'til succumbed they to the sea.
Loud the weeping women mourned   mourned for men who'd come no more
Loud the keening of the kinder kith and kin killed by the waves.
Loud the cursing of dark Hela   adding rooms to her abode
For but few Valhalla-choosen   far but few heroes lived then
But for Amos him the hero who had caused this awful slaughter
Who had brought down Hela's wrath   her dark wrath up his head
She then cursed his Gibson guitar   her curse upon his fingers ten
Cursed to play a cursed Martin   or a cursed Apollonio
Cursed to play a Walmart Special left him cried forever more.

    --The Gruntersaga, ca. AD 784, trans. from Elder Erse, from
       runes of Skuffi Sigirdsdotter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 11 - 08:31 PM

Amos,

Do you deny that every single word you have ever used to post ANYWHERE on Mudcat (and elsewhere) wasn't plagiarized, lifted and used without proper citation and attribution, from not one, but several, dictionaries? (Merriam Webster New Collegiate Dictionary, p. 1 et seq.)

Deny this if you dare!!! (Op. cit.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Nov 11 - 06:34 PM

"closet Republican"

That sounds sordid and kinky. Kinda like that trickle down stuff that you see on the internet and those sordid and kinky TV channels... like CNN and worse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 11 - 06:20 PM

I defy you, sirrah, to find ONE iota ofg plagiarism in this thread posted by myself. This is rampant scurrilous projection on your part, and well you know it.

Fie on you, you closet Republican!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 11 - 06:10 PM

Amos, from old San Diego,
Was naught but guitar strings and ego
To cut Rap down to size
He'd oft plagarize
And then blame it on "El Diablo."

          --Fanny Van Hooters, Verses From Men's Room Walls
             (Pocatello, ID: The Museum of Clean, 2011).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Nov 11 - 04:57 PM

Showoff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 11 - 02:18 PM

Ah woe, 'tis woe, when each line faire
Must always come here from elsewhere;
When deep reflections are in droughth
Except from some else's mouth
And we'll not ring the champions bells
For thoughts that come from someone else!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 11 - 10:36 AM

Ah, make the most of what we yet may spend,
Tho' we know too well that Dust prevail;
Dust into Dust, and under Dust, to lie,
Sans Wine, sans Song, sans Singer and--sans Email!
          --Homer Caimen, The Ruby Yacht and the Emerald City,
            strophe 165, (Beg Dad: Tumor, Calor, Rubor and Dolor
            Publishing, 1312 CE.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 11 - 09:19 PM

You needn't whisper, Janie. Mom knows what you've been up to, and she's glad that you managed to break out of jail like you did. You DID give her quite a turn when you punched out the jailer, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 18 Nov 11 - 07:44 PM

psssst.....Mom?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 18 Nov 11 - 07:43 PM

pssssst...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 11 - 03:39 PM

Ice-creak-speak is a dizzying tongue
ANd only spoken by the young
It rules the minds of kids who get it
Until they're twelve, when they forget it!
But young ones know, when feeling weak
The answer lies in ice-cream speak!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Nov 11 - 10:28 AM

Must pay off the credit cards, to no longer a borrower be. And pay off the house. We're all enslaved by our banks, and we put ourselves into that slavery. Ironic, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 11 - 09:45 AM

Ah, Polonius. Good old Polonius. Good old boring, preachy Polonius. Good old boring, preachy, meddling Polonius.

Still, it's good advice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 11 - 09:31 AM

Ben aND jERRRY!
Ben and Jerry!
Go together like a car and ferry!
Listen to your mother!
You don't get one widout the other!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 18 Nov 11 - 09:13 AM

Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportioned thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel, but being in,
Bear't that the opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 11:01 PM

MOM! I just heard Ben and Jerry of Ben and Jerry's ice cream speak at my campus! And they gave us all ice cream bars afterward! Whoo hoo! (Boy, was the timing of this talk ever perfect, with the Occupy Wall Street stuff going on.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 10:27 PM

Or wear white flannel trousers and walk upon the beach.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 06:12 PM

Better nor some gray-face dude who doesn't dare to eat a peach.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 05:41 PM

Or heading over Niagara Falls in a barrel.

Or wrestling with a porcupine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 05:35 PM

Well at least you're not lying etherized upon a table.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 03:27 PM

The debbils in my nerves
The debbil's in my brain
The debbil's in my muscles
And he's causing me pain.
The debbil's in my shoulders
And in my aching back
The debbil's in my myelin sheathing
And my sacroiliac!

Debbil cause me trouble
Debbil, I am done with you!
Debbil, go find someone else
To cause your trouble to!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 02:54 PM

Sacroiliac joints the doc said about my pains. More like suckroiliac. As if the messed up Satanic nerve wasn't enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 02:38 PM

Oh, do not ask, "What is it?"

Let us go and make our visit.
In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 12:47 PM

He's a cliche jukebox
You know it's true
If you give him a nickel
He'll recitre a worn-out thought for you.
You never know
WHat the man will say
But it's for sure, now, bavy,
It'll be a damn cliche.

Oh, say it again, say it again
Like you mammy and daddy used to do,
Just a cliche jukebox, baby
If it isn't old it isn't true

Ooooowa oooowa ooowa....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 11:27 AM

He was....BORN TO BE WI-I-I-I-I-ILD!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 10:26 AM

Or live where the Wild Things Are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 10:18 AM

While you're at it, let your fingers do the walking and live on the wild side.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 09:28 AM

I shall also take good care of myself 'cause I belong to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 09:23 AM

There are over fifty asserted behaviors in your vows, sirrah, but by all reports the only one you have been practicing (if half-heartedly) is the last one.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Nov 11 - 08:45 PM

I shall never volunteer, stay right with God, write home, never feed the bears, treat every gun as if it were a loaded gun until I personally have proven otherwise, button up my overcoat, watch my back, have myself a merry little Christmas, look for bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover, eschew the fatal glass of beer, never mix alcohol and gunpowder while keeping my powder dry, drive my car to the racing ground, ride off into the sunset, never tease an old dog or try to teach it new tricks, control myself, exhibit leadership qualities, just wait until I have children of my own, check the smoke detectors whenever the time changes, always buckle up, eat right, live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Nov 11 - 08:27 PM

And keep a clean nose!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Nov 11 - 08:22 PM

I shall attempt to stay the course, carry the good news from Ghent to Aix, remain true to my school, remember that the Guard dies but never surrenders, remember both the Alamo and the Maine, zip my lip and save and ship, keep the home fires burning, insure death before dishonor, kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out, pack up my troubles in my old kit bag, know that it's better dead than Red, insure peace at any price, never change horses in midstream, keep my hands to myself, see my dentist at least twice a year, clean up my own mess, always color inside the lines, sing on key, climb every mountain, always wear clean underwear in case I'm ever in an accident, hold still and take my medicine like a man, never play with matches, look both ways before crossing the street, save for a rainy day, let a smile be my umbrella, respect my elders walk on the sunny side of the street, stop and smell the roses, never bite off more than I can chew, be square, and obey the laws of the pack.

So there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Nov 11 - 06:18 PM

Last time I saw my grand parent's grave in PA I had a truck, a trailer, and a tired toddler with me and couldn't do more than nod hello, but one day I'll go revisit some of those, and hopefully have the grown kids with me so they know where these things are. Few in the rest of the family know.

Fall seems to be arriving overnight. I saw a good eggplant in the garden, so I'll grab it, and I'll cover my one intact acorn squash on the vine, see if it will ripen all the way.

MOM's just chomping at the bit, waiting for the UPS driver. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 16 Nov 11 - 06:10 PM

That was a great one, Amos!

I'll be thinking of you, Mike, as you pay your respects to the family and especially as you visit your sis. Sixty-eight degrees! That's a whole lot more than the 20 degrees it is here. Enjoy it while you can.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Nov 11 - 05:41 PM

You shock me with your incomprehension, sir! I started that thread to draw attention to the scourge of Tiddlywinks and its dire effect on our society, not to support it!

(Note: I'm not waving my arms. I know you think I am, but I'm just typing with some vehemence.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Nov 11 - 05:33 PM

A tiddly wink's as good as a sober nod to a blind horse, innit?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Nov 11 - 04:28 PM

You have spat on spatulas? Are you tiddly? >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Nov 11 - 03:53 PM

I am surprised that you are engaged with it--and even originated it!! We of the MOAB have our standards. Tiddlywinks are several notches south of spatulas, you will agree.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Nov 11 - 03:13 PM

"What makes him think a middle aged actor, who's played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?"

Ronald Reagan


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Nov 11 - 01:09 PM

I'm surprised that you clever gents have not contributed a few brilliant remarks of your own to the great Tiddlywinks controversy thread which is raging even as I type...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Nov 11 - 12:47 PM

Not to mention the humpy-backed camel and the kangaroo...


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