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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 22 Jun 11 - 08:49 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 11 - 05:43 PM
gnu 22 Jun 11 - 05:25 PM
Little Hawk 22 Jun 11 - 04:34 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 11 - 02:11 PM
Acme 22 Jun 11 - 10:53 AM
Rapparee 22 Jun 11 - 10:01 AM
Amos 22 Jun 11 - 09:54 AM
Rapparee 22 Jun 11 - 12:00 AM
Amos 21 Jun 11 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 21 Jun 11 - 06:54 PM
gnu 21 Jun 11 - 05:58 PM
Amos 21 Jun 11 - 05:37 PM
gnu 21 Jun 11 - 02:23 PM
Little Hawk 21 Jun 11 - 02:13 PM
Rapparee 21 Jun 11 - 01:41 PM
Little Hawk 21 Jun 11 - 01:05 PM
Amos 21 Jun 11 - 01:02 PM
Little Hawk 21 Jun 11 - 01:01 PM
Amos 21 Jun 11 - 12:58 PM
Little Hawk 21 Jun 11 - 12:07 PM
Amos 21 Jun 11 - 11:38 AM
Rapparee 21 Jun 11 - 10:31 AM
Rapparee 20 Jun 11 - 10:39 PM
Amos 20 Jun 11 - 10:36 PM
Rapparee 20 Jun 11 - 10:30 PM
Rapparee 20 Jun 11 - 03:23 PM
gnu 20 Jun 11 - 02:52 PM
gnu 20 Jun 11 - 02:32 PM
Amos 20 Jun 11 - 02:26 PM
GUEST,Hohk-Ptui 20 Jun 11 - 01:14 PM
Little Hawk 20 Jun 11 - 12:01 PM
Acme 20 Jun 11 - 11:37 AM
Little Hawk 20 Jun 11 - 10:43 AM
Rapparee 20 Jun 11 - 10:42 AM
Amos 20 Jun 11 - 09:49 AM
Rapparee 19 Jun 11 - 11:39 PM
Little Hawk 19 Jun 11 - 09:27 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 11 - 06:53 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 11 - 06:45 PM
gnu 19 Jun 11 - 06:35 PM
Amos 19 Jun 11 - 06:03 PM
gnu 19 Jun 11 - 03:13 PM
Acme 19 Jun 11 - 02:36 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 11 - 11:24 AM
Amos 19 Jun 11 - 11:01 AM
Little Hawk 19 Jun 11 - 12:29 AM
gnu 18 Jun 11 - 10:42 PM
Rapparee 18 Jun 11 - 10:18 PM
gnu 18 Jun 11 - 12:57 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jun 11 - 08:49 PM

I am getting tired of all this empty boasting you do about how tough they are at the Idaho Legion. You be careful, man. I might get angry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 11 - 05:43 PM

This is the Elks Lodge we're talking about, not the Legion Hovel. Up at the hovel John Dillinger is treated as a pansy-sniffing poof, as are Bugs Moran, Scarface Capone, Mad Dog Coll, Boone Helm, and Captain Bligh. The folks who frequent the Legion Hovel are tough, tough enough to swim the Portneuf River naked when it's -45F., tough enough to face down a speeding locomotive, tough enough to catch bullets in their teeth. Tough. Not necessarily smart, but tough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jun 11 - 05:25 PM

Wouldn't that piss them off?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jun 11 - 04:34 PM

You just need to present your suggestion more forcefully, the way John Dillinger did.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 11 - 02:11 PM

I was asked to water the flowers (well, ground cover) out in front of the Elks Lodge on Friday morning. I suggested that they just put up a sign asking the Friday night bar crowd to do it, but my suggestion was ignored.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jun 11 - 10:53 AM

Hey, MOM, I found the teflon tape and got my favorite sprinkler back in working order. I'll set it up later if the kids want to run through it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 11 - 10:01 AM

I was raised under an assumption of infinite zeroes, raised to grasp the essential meaning of infinite nothingness. Indeed, good sir, both my mathematics AND philosophy instructors long ago said the I defined infinite nothingness.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jun 11 - 09:54 AM

I think we have discovered the root of all your difficulties, sirrah--you have been raised under a cloud of confusion, never having understood the difference between zero and infinity.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 11 - 12:00 AM

Don't be.

Priceless: something upon which no value can be set.
Worthless: without worth or value.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 10:28 PM

Why...thank you!! I am non-plussed!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 06:54 PM

Amos, that was priceless.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 05:58 PM

Ducky wanna a quacker?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 05:37 PM

I am not feckless,
Even when reckless,
So keep your necklace
And trousers, too.
No more your dreck
Shall weigh my neck,
So off the deck,
Old duck, feck you!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 02:23 PM

I had feckles when I was young... well, in the summer my hair was blond and I had none while in winter I had red hair and feckles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 02:13 PM

And possibly feckless as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 01:41 PM

Your wit repels you because it's an autoimmune condition. Without it, you are, well, witless.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 01:05 PM

LOL!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 01:02 PM

I think you used the wrong vowel there. A "u" would have been more precise.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 01:01 PM

Indeed, yes, my ecstatic condition beggars description. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 12:58 PM

Ah, to live on such a cloud of imaginary adulation would make reality itself seem a poor shade in comparison!! How very, very happy you must be!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 12:07 PM

Yes, Amos, they all assure me that I am brilliant...except for Shane. He is too wrapped up in his own imaginary omnipotence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 11:38 AM

"Your wit repels you." That sentence has no meaning, no humor, and no discernible sense to it, Auroch Man. Go to, gild your lily-white testicles until you can come up with something a bit more vital.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 10:31 AM

Sixty-one years ago today, June 21, 1950, my father died.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 10:39 PM

Tsk, Amos. Your wit repels you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 10:36 PM

An Auroch gilt for a man of elephantine guilt is a sugar-coating of arms indeed.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 10:30 PM

At last I have decided upon my Arms:

Celeste bleu, in chief three three chevronels or, in ordinary a bonasus or.

It would never get by a College of Heraldry, but it will serve here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 03:23 PM

So the Gonads are Antigonish while the Gonish are Antigonad? And that there are Antigonad Gonads and Antigonish Gonish because of internal strife? May I assume that the Antigonish Gonish will usually band together with the Gonish if the Gonish are attacked by or were going to attack the Gonads, and that the Antigonad Gonads working with the Gonads in similar situations, and that everybody hates outsiders?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 02:52 PM

The Gonish occupy The Lowlands of Nova Scotia and Cape Breton whilst the Gonads occupy The Highlands of same. You'd think it would be the opposite. Each are easily identified and discerned by their tartans as the Lowlanders, mainly descended from the Lowland Picts of Scotland, which have the more commonly known basic natural colours as opposed to the Highlanders, mainly descended from the Highland Poofs of Scotland, which utilize a variety of pastels and bright colours to demonstrate their diversity. Either will tear you a new asshole if you piss them off but each clan and chieftan have unique methods of warfare.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 02:32 PM

Rectalfy?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 02:26 PM

Raparree, you misunderstand the meaning of Antigonish completely.

I refer you, for example, to this excerpt from a linguistic blog:

"I live in Nova Scotia, and "AntigoNISH" is correct. Nothing to do with being against "goNISH" - the name is from an indigenous word (in Mi'gmaw, more commonly known as Micmac, an Algonkian language). (The "-i-" in "ant-i-gonish" could be misleading - "AN-tigga-NISH" would be a better rough transcription)."

Your narrow-minded insistence on applying Latinisms to the MicMac language made you fair game for my sarcasm about being "against the deluvians", a polite way of calling you extremely old-fashioned or antedeluvian, a relative of Noah's, or of one of his passengers.

Now that we have sharpened your sense of humor appropriately, I would like to remark that Little Hawk is over-exerting himself if he needs any of us to praise his unarguable brilliance. He has a complete cast of characters who work all day long to do this for him. No sense being insatiable, now, is there?

(I say his brilliance is unarguable, not because it is well-established fact, but because many years of trying experience have taught me the futility of any such argument.)

Just ask the lazy Canuck beer-head, or the disorientated giant Hamster, or the pseudo-blueblooded teenage ne'er-do-wellette, or the psychotic simian, or any of his other cast of thousands.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Hohk-Ptui
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 01:14 PM

We are shamed because we did not return the Amos in the condition we should have. It was due to a new operator, who has been disciplined. We will soon remove the Amos for corrective probing and conditioning. This will rectify the errors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 12:01 PM

You were telling me how brilliant I am. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 11:37 AM

I think I posted last night, but it disappeared. It's like walking into a room and wondering why I went there - can anyone tell me what I might have been thinking?

Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 10:43 AM

Well put, Amos. I think we have opened up a can of worms here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 10:42 AM

"Ante" and "Anti" are not the same prefixes, Amos. But given your report cards you could hardly be expected to know that. But to put it in letters you can understand, one is "tent humpy cross funny-half-thing" and the other is "tent humpy cross stick-with-dot-on-top."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 09:49 AM

Well, this is again the pot calling the kettle "container". If you are going to protest on behalf of the Gonish, you have to answer up for your own miserable record oppressing the deluvians.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 11:39 PM

I lived in Gonish areas for many years and I found them to be gentle, peaceful people who only rarely ate their young or pillaged their neighbors. If you do not like them, look within yourself and purge yourself of your fear of them. Then you can accept them when they come to slaughter you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 09:27 PM

Easy for you to say! You obviously have not had to deal with the Gonish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 06:53 PM

I went out today and bought a copy of "The New York Times" just for grits and shins. As I was getting back in the car, the wind snatched the paper and blew it into a neighboring cow pasture (yes, there really ARE such right in town) where a polled Hereford ate it. I was quite annoyed, but then I realized that I had news in beef.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 06:45 PM

Canadians are usually so nice, so I just don't understand their hatred of the Gonish. And to broadcast the fact by naming an entire town after their prejudice beggars the mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 06:35 PM

Take the T-Can and turn left at the lights eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 06:03 PM

Thus clearing highways all the way to Antigonish!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 03:13 PM

I had a big feed a yer baked beans with mOlasses last night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 02:36 PM

It has been a good weekend for a cleanout. You shoulda seen the stuff MOM has stashed in some of those cupboards out on the sun porch, and behind the sofa. Whew! There will be bags and bags out at the curb on trash day this week!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 11:24 AM

Yes, and since you need to adopt a "persona" I think I'll be a leper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 11:01 AM

I think the SCA is the perfect solution to the Rapparree COnundrum (which is also the title of my forthcoming book). It sums up all that is best and worst about the GRayte Manne himself, him being a creative anachronism himself of the first order.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 12:29 AM

gnu - Ha! Ha! Ha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 11 - 10:42 PM

Just keep yer head about it eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 11 - 10:18 PM

Well, I have returned to this century. After an afternoon -- a DELIGHTFUL afternoon -- with the SCA I had to return to the mundane.

There was everything you would expect and more. Lessons in calligraphy, medieval dance, and cooking. Music. Lessons in the use of the rapier, and I discussed (quire eruditely!) the difference between the Italian, English, French, German and Spanish schools of defense. Much of what the Master at Arms said made sense and the conversation was excellent, he allowing my points (pardon the pun) were also valid. No, I did not go armed -- only a staff and a dagger.

But there was much to see and do. The melees, the swordplay, the beheadings, the horsemanship, the children at the auto-de-fe, even the rackings and quarterings, were well done.

I'm even considering joining.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 11 - 12:57 PM

SRS... salesmanship...

"Nah, tha brakes work fine but the sensor is messed up. Of course, it could be the computer chip but I can't see how that could happen. If it's a deal breaker, I'll take $500, which would easily cover the cost of the sensor, off the price IF you take it today. Can't promise the same deal tomorrow. Take it for a spin, try the brakes, think it over and let me know."

I once (at Kmart when I was a teenager working in sporting goods) sold a complete fly fishing outfit... reel, rod, lines, flies, vest, waders, boat, motor, trailer and, most importantly, fly dope to a guy I met in the pharmacy department who was buying tampons. I said, "Buddy, yer weekend's shot so you may as well go fishing."


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Mudcat time: 17 October 2:43 AM EDT

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