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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

beardedbruce 12 Apr 07 - 01:26 PM
Rapparee 12 Apr 07 - 01:37 PM
MMario 12 Apr 07 - 01:40 PM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 02:25 PM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 09:36 PM
Rapparee 12 Apr 07 - 09:54 PM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 10:21 PM
Rapparee 12 Apr 07 - 10:31 PM
Amos 12 Apr 07 - 11:42 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 07 - 09:16 AM
MMario 13 Apr 07 - 09:28 AM
Acme 13 Apr 07 - 11:58 AM
Rapparee 13 Apr 07 - 01:03 PM
Amos 13 Apr 07 - 01:16 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 07 - 03:27 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 07 - 04:47 PM
Amos 13 Apr 07 - 05:07 PM
Acme 13 Apr 07 - 06:56 PM
Acme 14 Apr 07 - 12:05 PM
Amos 14 Apr 07 - 12:12 PM
Amos 14 Apr 07 - 03:48 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 07 - 04:10 PM
Amos 14 Apr 07 - 04:24 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 07 - 06:14 PM
Amos 14 Apr 07 - 08:21 PM
Acme 15 Apr 07 - 01:33 AM
Rapparee 15 Apr 07 - 10:25 AM
Amos 15 Apr 07 - 11:35 AM
Amos 15 Apr 07 - 01:34 PM
Acme 15 Apr 07 - 01:53 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 07 - 03:25 PM
Acme 15 Apr 07 - 05:40 PM
Amos 15 Apr 07 - 08:19 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 07 - 08:27 PM
Amos 15 Apr 07 - 08:39 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 07 - 08:50 PM
Amos 15 Apr 07 - 09:11 PM
Acme 15 Apr 07 - 10:07 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 07 - 10:18 PM
Amos 15 Apr 07 - 11:42 PM
MMario 16 Apr 07 - 08:44 AM
Rapparee 16 Apr 07 - 09:02 AM
Amos 16 Apr 07 - 09:36 AM
Acme 16 Apr 07 - 09:51 AM
Amos 16 Apr 07 - 10:06 AM
Acme 16 Apr 07 - 10:49 AM
Amos 16 Apr 07 - 11:22 AM
Acme 16 Apr 07 - 11:49 AM
Rapparee 16 Apr 07 - 12:37 PM
Amos 16 Apr 07 - 12:48 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 01:26 PM

You just object to being upstaged by NUL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 01:37 PM

Are you all aware that there are more vowels than those other letters in the word "Inquisition"? And in the technical term "Auto de Fe"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 01:40 PM

Fay always did have good taste in cars.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 02:25 PM

See, that's the thing. Man may turn his hand to harmful purposes, but he still, deep inside, must rely on the all-perfect benevolence that is only made available through the Order of the Vowels. And, of course, also, the Order of Consonants.

I think we're really onto something here. It becomes more and more evident that of all the things for which we have language, whether in the real world or some un-real one like Pennsylvania Avenue in DC, no matter who, all must come under the benevolent guidance of the divine Alphabet. For better or for worse, it is deeply felt in ALL human endeavours. That is why it is the perfect thing to venerate and build a religion around.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 09:36 PM

Hey, Mom!!! Guess what!! We don't have to abandon Newton's Laws!! Isn't that great!! Here, read this!!!

"NEWTON*S SECOND LAW OF MOTION, that pillar of classical physics, the
formula that says the force on an object is proportional to
acceleration, has now been tested, and found to be valid, at the
level of 5 x 10^-14 m/s^2.

This is a thousandfold improvement in
precision over the best previous test, one carried out 21 years ago
(Physical Review D, vol 34, p 3240, 1986). The new test was
performed by physicists at the University of Washington using a
swiveling torsion pendulum, a special kind of pendulum in which the
restoring force is not gravity (as you would have in a hanging
pendulum) but is provided by a very thin torsion fiber.

One
implication of Newton*s law is that the pendulum*s frequency (its
tick-tock rate) should be independent of
the amplitude of its swiveling (as long as the oscillation is
small). Looking for a slight departure from this expected
independence the Washington researchers watched the pendulum at
very small amplitudes; in fact the observed swivel was kept so small
that the Brownian excitation of the pendulum was a considerable
factor in interpreting the results. Newton*s second law is expected
to break down for subatomic size scales, where quantum uncertainty
frustrates any precise definition of velocity.

But for this experiment, where the pendulum
has a mass of 70 g and consists of 10^24 atoms, quantum
considerations were not important.

According to one of the
scientists involved, Jens Gundlach (206-616-3012,
jens@phys.washington.edu), this new affirmation
that force is proportional to acceleration (at least for
non-relativistic speeds), might influence further discussion of two
anomalies:

(1) oddities in the rotation curves for
galaxies---characterizing the velocity of stars as a function of
their radii from the galactic center---suggest either that extra
gravitational pull in the form of the presence of as-yet-undetected
dark matter is at work or that some new form of Newton*s Second Law could be
operating (referred to as Modified Newtonian Dynamics, or MOND); and

(2) the ongoing mystery surrounding the unaccounted-for
accelerations apparently characterizing the trajectory of the
Pioneer spacecraft"

Yayyyy!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 09:54 PM

Hey, Mom!!! Guess what!! We don't have to abandon Newton's Laws!!

Well, actually, I had no plans to do so. And neither did Mom. Mom told me that gravity was The Law, just like the Second Law of Thermodynamics (which for some reason she always thinks of whenever she thinks of her children) and if Amos breaks ANY of those laws I'm to tell her right away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 10:21 PM

Well, Rapaire had no such plans because he's stuck in 1965. It was as plain as the nose on your face....well, maybe not that plain...but it was obvious!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 10:31 PM

1966. I'd be old enough to drink legally.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 11:42 PM

Sigh. Turn left at the first dramatization you come to, and you'll be right there....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 09:16 AM

Pete told me "first star to the right and straight on until morning." And you know what? When I got there, there was Michael Jackson. Naturally, I immediately left and went searching for The Planet Of The Lost Folkie Bimbos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 09:28 AM

No wonder you ended up at Michael's -- the correct instructions are Second star ( I think it is Sandra Bulluck) to the right. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 11:58 AM

Whew! I guess I blinked--and you have moved lightyears ahead of the last topic. Or has Gluon been playing tricks, moving the thread around again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 01:03 PM

Last time I trust a boy in tights. I'll only trust
men in tights from now on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 01:16 PM

Yeah, Stilly, I know it looks like quantum leaps in cognitive energy levels, but it is really just random ricochets from the unpredictable vectors of Rapaire's braggadocio troppo.. There's no straight line of reasoning to it, and it can come in from any direction, bounce of anything and be off in anew direction before you have figured out how to make sense of it, since there usually is none.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 03:27 PM

Hi! I'm Rapaire! I'm a gas molecule!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 04:47 PM

By the way, the braggadocio troppo is an FIE-approved fencing tactic, done with both epee and foil. It was first described by Capo ferro in the 1610 edition of his seminal book, Gran Simulacro dell'Arte Edell'uso della Scherma, as being the single most deadly technique a swordsman (or woman) could develop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 05:07 PM

LOL!!! I wondered where you got the idea from!! :D



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 06:56 PM

Thunderstorms to the right, tornado warning until midnight. Batten down the hatches MOM, it's gonna blow!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 12:05 PM

Mom, what are you doing in the cellar? A couple of more steps and you'd be out of site/sight/cite!

Maybe you were hiding from the tornado. It went to the north of us, killed one guy, tore up some buildings. Moonglow and I drove through that area about an hour earlier. Lucky timing!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 12:12 PM

Survival of the luckiest. This is a fine example of the mysterious vector of luck, never fully discussed in Darwin's expositions. It may actually be th eexplanation of what is sometimes called "junk DNA" -- those strands of DNA which are not involved in known building of parts.

My theory is that DNA is the shape it is because it is an antenna. It picks up subtle emanations from the spiritual plane, you see, and thus draws lovers together across impossible chains of coincidence, and other similar miracles of what is commonly called luck. The better your junk DNA is the better your luck quotient in dodoging catastrophes, finding windfalls, and so on.

I think we're onto something here.

If Mom would just get those grant applications out we could fund further study on this theory.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 03:48 PM

Everytime I post something deep, Mom threatens to fall off the page.

It is my considered conclusion that Deep BS and Shallow BS are not wholly compatible.

I will post about grass trimmings, laundry soap and the travails of trash collection schedukles in suburban America.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 04:10 PM

And I shall post stuff about Hadron's Wall, which is in Angleland, which is just around the 7d corner and spin from Flatland.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 04:24 PM

Then, sir, you shall become a Hadron Colluder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 06:14 PM

My grandpa had a Hadron Colluder. Best car he ever owned, he said. Used to put all nine kids and grandma into her and drive out to Bridle Falls for a picnic 'most every Sunday, in Summertime. They'd bring along fried chicken, homemade German potato salad, a tub full of beer and soda pop, a couple watermelons, some cane poles for fishin', a pot for boiling corn and of course the corn. The whole family'd get into the Hadron Colluder, Grandpa'd make sure she was in neutral and the brake was on, set the throttle, and then jump out and crank 'er up. He'd quick get back in, retard the spark, reset the throttle, set the choke, put 'er in gear, and stall out there in the drive. Then they'd move all the stuff to the wagon and he'd hitch up Jonah, the horse, and off they'd go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 08:21 PM

It has a certain RIng of Truth, your story, which is only fitting, since the Ring of Turth itself is located not far from Hadron's Wall. The Ring of truth is an ancient stone circle, a good 100 meters in diameter, the inside of which stays green all year around, for erasons not ndersotod by science. Legend has it that anyone who is puzzling over a problem may step into the Ring of Truth at the right time of year and suddenly have complete clarity on the truth of things as they relate to their problem. Hundreds have reported this phenomenon, with complete certainty. The evidence, however, remains anecdotal and is unlikely to improve above that condition, in view of the fact that those who thus learn the truth seem to forget it completely the minute they step back out.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 01:33 AM

Unless they are exposed to a subset, such as ring around the tub or ring around the collar. Then their memories are intact.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 10:25 AM

Does that include a ring around a finger? I've got one of those and have no memory of how it got there or why or when or...just that one day a really long time ago I woke up and there was a woman in my bed who said she was my wife. And I haven't been able to tell anything but the truth ever since....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 11:35 AM

I wear such a ring as well, and I wear another ring inherited from my wife's father on my right hand, on the middle finger. The ring on my left hand is on the ring finger, and makes it impossible to lie to my wife. The middle finger on my right hand reveals truth to the world.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 01:34 PM

There is so much wisdom in the normal man or woman, just begging to be given the breathing space to come out. It takes quite a lot of cognitive, emotional, or physical violence to keep people stupid.

Unfortunately, these forms of violence are a major industry ? three major industries! -- in our species.

The lizard brain in all humans comes out and starts up a new enterprise in the industry every few minutes somewhere ? a person who was able to think and had a sense of decency gets hit with one two many bouts of force, or lust, or illogic, or loss, and decides he should go into that business for himself. This produces, among other things, Republicans.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 01:53 PM

So THAT explains it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 03:25 PM

Ah yes. Ye olde reptilian brain stem. One shot, one kill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 05:40 PM

Mom, I can't get my lawnmower to start. I think I flooded it. Send Gluon over to give the lawn a quick once-over--if she eats grass like my dogs do, she should be through in about 15 seconds.

My next door neighbor has a duck nest in his side yard. I have dogs. I wonder if we'll end up with more duck dogs?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 08:19 PM

Well, with Rapaire going on about one shot, one kill, in his best Robert Ruark wannabe style, you might wanta check just behind the carburetor for a .470 caliber hole such a smight be left by an elephant gun. Ya never know with all these duckdogs about what piece of time is going to become ensorcelled and entangled with what and by whom.

By the way if you haven't seen a recent (last August, I think) movie called "The Illusionist" I recommend it most highly. Now on DVD at Blockbuster.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 08:27 PM

.470. Wimp caliber. .600 Nitro Express -- now THERE'S a man's round! If a .30-06's recoil is rated as 1.0, this sucker's at 9.4! Broken collarbones and broken shoulders have resulted from the use the .600 Nitro Express, which was developed solely to stop a charging elephant or rhino dead in its tracks!

(Kinda reminds me of the hunting scene in Terry Southern's The Magic Christian. Only the .600 Nitro Express is real and has been used for hunting elephant and rhino.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 08:39 PM

Nothing wimp about the .,470, which has also been known to knock a rhino head over teakettle from a standing start, and kill him in the process. Ruark remarks it is a very strange site to see a full-grown rhino flip end over end from standing.


A

In my eternal quest for the perfect typo, I wrote "whino" for "rhino" above. I think there must be, in some dimension or universe, a great, hard-shelled beast called a "whino" who drinks Thunderbird and complains bitterly about how beset upon he is by life.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 08:50 PM

So...Amos, will you buy me a new rifle? Here's the scoop from Field and Stream on what I want. It's not an assault rifle or anything.....

...Holland & Holland will build you an exquisite double rifle for its .700 Nitro Express cartridge, which fires a 1,000-grain bullet at 2000 fps. The price for the rifle is approximately $200,000, and it takes H&H three and a half to four years to build one. The cartridges cost about $100 apiece.

Plllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeee?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 09:11 PM

We have other means of protecting you from rhinos, Rapaire. We stand on a street corner and wave colored strips of paper in particular patterns. It is very effective. There hasn't been a loose rhino within fifty miles of me snce I started doing this.


And it's a hell of a lot cheaper than your Nitro gun.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 10:07 PM

Good timing, Amos. I spotted a review for that movie and put it in my Netflix queue last week. Should I bump it up to the top?

My back yard is now mowed. Geez, Louise, was that a tough job, took about three hours instead of the usual hour and a half. Tall and juicy, that describes the vegetation back there. Stalled out in the tall grass a couple of times. The front went about as usual, but it had been mowed more recently. As I pushed the mower down to the end of my side yard I could see Mama duck standing on the other side of my next door neighbor's house, watching where I was headed with that mower.

Good, Mama!

I'm heading to drive Moonglow back to school, so Amos and Mike, you keep an eye on Mom now, will you?


.

That means don't let one of those no good so-and-sos poach another big number, ya hear?

.


Thanks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 10:18 PM

Oh, hell, Amos. I don't want to shoot the thing! I want to sell it to someone stupi...someone who would appreciate it. As fer shootin' erns, I got all I need. Except maybe for that...never mind. I have all I need. Yup. Don't want no more. Nossir! Don't want no more. Nope.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 07 - 11:42 PM

Well, good-oh, then I won't be buying you one. But if you need some of them colored strips of paper, jes' lemme know as I have a bunch from last year's Cinquo de Mayo and expect a new batch in a few weeks.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 08:44 AM

morning mom - they closed work just as I walked in the door (no - not *becuase* I walked in!) so I thought I'd say good morning before I go home.

Bye!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 09:02 AM

I've had that experience -- you walk in after fighting your way there through the weather and the Boss says, "We're closing, 'cause there's a blizzard coming, so go home." Then you start for home and the blizzard hits while you're driving.

Amos, I'll tell you what. You get me that H&H .700 Nitro Express with a couple cases of ammo and I'll sell it and split the take evenly with you (it the take's an odd number, like $0.97, I'll give you the overage)! Now, how's THAT for a deal, huh? You aren't going to get an offer like this every day, so you'd better hurry up and accept it! This offer won't last long, because I've already got a counteroffer from some guy in Blind River, Ontario, but I always offer something like this to Mom's Kids first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 09:36 AM

Thanks, Rapaire, truly. But I tried to get it for you, and I was told I was was not permitted to buy elephant guns because my background check revealed I hate voiced certain sentiments revealing an anti-Republican mindset. Maybe the guy in Ontario will havebetter luck.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 09:51 AM

Have his close personal friend Officer Dana buy it for him. Her credentials are impecable, we can be certain of that. Can't we?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 10:06 AM

I dunno, Stilly. Consider the source. Can any character created by Little Hawk be said to have impeccable anythings?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 10:49 AM

Flamenco Ted is busy playing the guitar, so I'll post this one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 11:22 AM

Boldly done, fair damsel. We have breached 17.1K!! One thing about reaching these higher numbers, they have so many syllables it makes the doggerel much harder. I had to resort to the faintly ridiculous "seventeen of K" construction to make some lines scan in the last herculean surge. Maybe I will reserve my poetic efforts for round K numbers only, thus postponing the inevitable.

BTW, does anyone know where I can get a really low Erdős number?. I suppose used ones would do. Say, 2 or 3?   It's like Mister Rapaire's green laser -- it is not that I really need it, but it would be cool to have.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 11:49 AM

Simple, Amos. Do like Natalie Cole, and reauthor a paper, putting yourself into the dialog, as she did when she re-recorded her father's classic songs.

I prefer the Six Degrees of Bacon, myself. A lot more fun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 12:37 PM

It's all politics, so do like the politicians do. Seize any number you want and if anyone complains just scream and yell and generally act like a three-year-old with tantrum. Eventually they'll agree that it's yours just to shut you up.

Say, do you think I could talk Bee-Dubya into that double rifle deal?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 12:48 PM

I know a guy once who got a call from a brother hitting him up to borrow $12,000 so his brother could give the money to his church, and get a brass plaque embedded in a wall with the brother's name on it. The guy, understandably, declined to lend him the dough, figuring if it meant that much to him he'd find his own damn money.

Oddly enough, he never heard from that brother again, and is not too perturbed over it, either.

This came to mind as I read your post regarding your suggestion to BWL. Not sure why.


A


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