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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 19 Jun 07 - 11:28 AM
Rapparee 19 Jun 07 - 05:22 PM
Amos 19 Jun 07 - 10:04 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 07 - 10:08 PM
Amos 19 Jun 07 - 11:24 PM
Acme 20 Jun 07 - 01:08 AM
Rapparee 20 Jun 07 - 08:35 AM
Acme 20 Jun 07 - 11:05 AM
Acme 20 Jun 07 - 04:14 PM
Amos 20 Jun 07 - 11:13 PM
Rapparee 21 Jun 07 - 08:49 AM
Amos 21 Jun 07 - 10:12 AM
Amos 21 Jun 07 - 12:39 PM
Rapparee 21 Jun 07 - 03:25 PM
MMario 21 Jun 07 - 03:34 PM
Rapparee 21 Jun 07 - 04:54 PM
Acme 21 Jun 07 - 07:02 PM
Amos 21 Jun 07 - 07:35 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 07 - 09:22 AM
Amos 22 Jun 07 - 10:52 AM
Acme 22 Jun 07 - 12:07 PM
Amos 22 Jun 07 - 12:52 PM
Acme 22 Jun 07 - 12:56 PM
Amos 22 Jun 07 - 01:34 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 07 - 01:40 PM
Acme 22 Jun 07 - 02:23 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 07 - 02:41 PM
Little Hawk 22 Jun 07 - 04:13 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 07 - 04:20 PM
Acme 22 Jun 07 - 05:32 PM
Acme 22 Jun 07 - 05:46 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 07 - 06:20 PM
Acme 22 Jun 07 - 07:23 PM
Amos 22 Jun 07 - 07:35 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 07 - 08:27 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 07 - 10:20 PM
Amos 22 Jun 07 - 11:39 PM
Little Hawk 23 Jun 07 - 12:40 AM
Rapparee 23 Jun 07 - 09:22 AM
Rapparee 23 Jun 07 - 09:38 AM
Amos 23 Jun 07 - 10:01 AM
Rapparee 23 Jun 07 - 12:24 PM
Amos 23 Jun 07 - 12:54 PM
Amos 23 Jun 07 - 01:34 PM
Rapparee 23 Jun 07 - 03:20 PM
Rapparee 23 Jun 07 - 06:44 PM
Rapparee 23 Jun 07 - 06:55 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 23 Jun 07 - 09:18 PM
Rapparee 23 Jun 07 - 10:11 PM
Amos 24 Jun 07 - 12:20 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 11:28 AM

I received an email from Tatty. Mind you, I don't know anyone by that name, although my wife tells me that some of my clothes are. Here is the way it starts:

Hello, Hermann

I believe that we will succeed. I believe that we will take the non-sinking sheep of love and will go far away to the ocean, on the waves of unopened passions, we will open the doors of wishes and dreams which never happened yet?


This might be nice if my name was Hermann. But I'm really interested in finding out more about those non-sinking sheep. The US Sheep Research Station is just a few miles north of here and they might be interested. So might some of those who post to MC, for that matter. So if you know anything about these non-sinking sheep, please contact the USDA and several Mudcatters. I personally have no interest in them beyond intellectual curiousity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 05:22 PM

Let us all pause for a moment and contemplate this:

Pocatello, Idaho, USA, has been awarded a "City of Achievement Award" by the Association of Idaho Cities for the Marshall Public Library's innovative "Book Wagon" program. This is the third year in a row that the Marshall Public Library has been so honored by the Association of Idaho Cities.

We will now resume our regularly scheduled programming.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 10:04 PM

It is to be congratulated you are, sir, for your civic triumph. Indeed, it is clear that if ever there were a non-sinking sheep of love, the Marshal Public Library is one. Or so I have herd.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 10:08 PM

We do not fleece the taxpayer, but provide nought but shear service to ewe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 11:24 PM

Pull not my leg, dear lamb, nor the wool over my weakening eyes.
For we have strived as brothers, ye and I, to right
The ship of fools which carries us, and make it wise
And light it through its stormy, mindless night.
Thus have we earned good merit up in heaven!
For guiding Mother through her perilous strait.
And soon, from thousands ten-and-seven,
Will bring her unto thousands ten-and eight!
Store up good drink! Go, slay the fatted calf!
Polish thine trumpet, and have Doug bring his drum!
For we shall merrye be, and long will laugh,
When Mother is 18 thousand come!
Sharpen thine wit! Prepare thy brightest pen!
We'll post to her but ninety one times more!
And then -- oh friends, oh MOABites, oh then--
We'll usher her to eighteen-thousand's shore!

Nimrod Winnebago Willowtongue de Catastrophe
Seigneur des Droit Potique des Royaunes Entires de Mre de Tous Merde des Taureaux

Port Royale, Endroit des Apaches, Normandy du Sud. 1948


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 01:08 AM

I'll credit the Marshall Public if I can pull off a Harry Potter stunt late in the game. I found the place in our Central Library where we could fake it (expand out the angle of the stair well and create a Harry Potter bedroom cavity) and do a Harry Potter event in time for the July 21 book release.

Great Idea, Mr. Rapaire!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 08:35 AM

Get the Theater Department to help you. They'll love it, since all you need is a set.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 11:05 AM

Great idea!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 04:14 PM

I've set it in motion. The librarian who did the Harry Potter event a couple of years ago said she hadn't planned anything, but with a month we might work out something. One of the other librarians who handles special events would like to see it happen because our library, unlike public libraries filled with kids out of school, is pretty quiet in the summer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 11:13 PM

Man, there must be thousands of college and university libraries across this great land which are grossly underutilized in summer. Miles and miles of wisdom encased in tree-board or cow-hide, hiding in the sacks and none to open their covers and see into them!! While at the same time, all across America, oodles of under-trained, under-literate, under-aware, under-informed children and youths sprawl their days away in MUDD and virtual Middle Class Life internet sites.

I see a solution itcihng for a problem. Imagine if those young were to march into those libraries and were channeled through some of those fine and deep and broadening collections!! It would reform the future of America, liberalize a generation, and could be done on existing budgets and completely under the Federal radar!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 07 - 08:49 AM

Except that academic libraries exist for Academia and not for the public at large. The hoi polloi is usually allowed in but often can't borrow anything, especially in private schools. Besides, the collections aren't exactly appealing to youth -- how often when YOU were eight or ten did YOU read Shakespeare, or Kitteredge on Chaucer, or the Newton's "Principia," or Bohr's "Causality and Complementarity: Epistemological Lessons of Studies in Atomic Physics," or, as barefoot boy with cheeks of tan, settled down under the ol' apple tree to read Veblen's "Theory of the Leisure Class"?

But there's no reason why public and academic libraries CANNOT cooperate, or why there seems to be a "holier than thou" attitude among far too many academic librarians towards public librarians.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 07 - 10:12 AM

Well, see, that's my point, Rapaire!!

High school juniors ought to be able to read Verblen without flinching.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 07 - 12:39 PM

The tinkle of a distant temple bell;
The sigh of robins parting from the hill;
The whisper of dreams returning to their center;
These are the sounds that tell us all is well.
The soft soliloquoy of smiles in the dark,
The beat of hearts with nothing to confess;
The susurrus of bicycles in flight;
These are the fields and font of all B.S.

Aloysius Sapientes
Small Words for Large Minds
Smothers Brothers, New York, 1958


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 07 - 03:25 PM

Man, I can't even think of Veblen without flinching!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Jun 07 - 03:34 PM

*doing my best imitation of shiftless, lazy, ignorant youth*#

So who or what's this Veblen?









# translation - too lazy to google


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 07 - 04:54 PM

Drummer for a new alt rock group called "The".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Jun 07 - 07:02 PM

I have a Veblen book around here somewhere. He was an economist, among other things.

Guess what! I found (finally!) a CD of The Traveling Wiburys vol. 1. I've had my eye out for one for ages, and had stopped looking, then on a whim walked over to the used CDs at Half Price Books today and there it was.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 07 - 07:35 PM

In other news:

Create a back-up copy of your immune system
23 June 2007
From New Scientist Print Edition. Subscribe and get 4 free issues.
Andy Coghlan


Tools


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IMAGINE having a spare copy of your immune system on ice, ready to replace your existing one should you fall victim to AIDS, an autoimmune disease, or have to undergo extensive chemotherapy for cancer.

An Anglo-American company called Lifeforce has received permission from the US Food and Drug Administration to do just that. The firm collects 480-millilitre samples of blood from healthy individuals, extracts the white blood cells and stores them as an insurance policy against future disease. The service comes at a price, though: around $800 for taking the initial sample then $25 per month for storing the cells at -196 C. "That sample would have the complete repertoire of all your white blood cells," says Del DelaRonde, co-founder of Lifeforce in Newport, UK.

By taking some of the stored cells and exposing them to natural growth factors such as interleukin-2, whole new armies of white blood cells could be grown in the lab and reinfused into the patient. Many people with cancer undergo similar "adoptive" therapies using immune cells extracted before they have chemo- or radiotherapy, which can destroy immune cells. But there is a risk that the cells won't work optimally because of previous cancer damage, DelaRonde says. "Instead, we can send them their 'pristine' system from 25 years ago."




Damn. Wish I'd trhought of that 25 years ago!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 09:22 AM

Can I have by entire body backed up? I'd like it as it was at, oh, 25 or so, but keep thatever mind I have today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 10:52 AM

That ever mind I have today
Is not the ever mind I had.
Back then, when I was twenty-five
And every hour felt alive,
And I'd ignore what folks would say
And keep on being bad.

The ever mind I carry now
Is wiser, true, but seems less bright,
With laughter, energy and wit
But somehow, I put up with it.
I really don't quite fathom how
I stand it in this long twilight.

But ever mind goes ever on,
The thoughts of now, to be, and then,
Are not as firmly separate
As people have believed of late,
And any ever mind now gone,
Can by the ever-soul be thought again.

Winifred Peabustle
Choir Director and Accountant
St. Matthew's Profoundly Episcopalian Church of the Eternal Miasma


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 12:07 PM

I want to do a backup in stages. The body from age 26 and the mind from about five years ago.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 12:52 PM

Well, you'd lose a certain amount of your work and your data, of course. But I think it sounds like a good compromise between fantasy and impossibility :D...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 12:56 PM

Nah, those rollback settings don't lose data now. They just go back to a more stable environment. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 01:34 PM

Wow. How about an environment where Mom and Dad were still footing all the bills, but you had the personal freedoms of a 30-yr old?

Hmmmmm.....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 01:40 PM

I'd really like a more stable environment...one without horses, too.

And speaking of horses,
you might enjoy this book. It is unique and desires to be in a collection.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 02:23 PM

That's absolutely awful--so I immediately sent it to several library friends. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 02:41 PM

Well, I got it from one....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 04:13 PM

Pocatello has achieved much, but they cannot match Schenectady.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 04:20 PM

That drug awareness book warn't from Pocatello. Out here, we LIKE horses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 05:32 PM

You should read the "reviews" of this book over at Amazon.

See if this works Sylvia S. Scott is what to search for. Here is a modest example:

    I found this book while shopping for my donkeys. Since I don't raise horses, but donkeys, I was worried that the story and illustrations would be too horse-centric for my donkeys. But once I read the book I decided that my donkeys probably won't care that it's about horses, since the story is so exciting and the message so uplifting, even for donkeys. Sure, a horse dies in the book, but I can just tell the donkeys that's what happens to bad horses (and donkeys) when they smoke drugs and drink. "Stay away from the horses!" I'll tell them, since obviously Latawnya's species is too weak and drug-addled to act like responsible donkeys. But there's more to the message as well-- donkeys (and horses) need to think for themselves rather than follow the popular donkeys around. When my donkeys are teenagers and some horse tries to get them on the drugs, they will know better and will say "No thanks, donkeys don't smoke drugs" thanks to this book. What more could the parent of a donkey want? (Other than to get the horses out of the neigh-bor-hood.)

    A good message for donkeys AND horses. Thanks to the author for writing such an engaging, important book for all parents of hoofed animals (including donkeys and horses) who are worried about smoking the drugs and drinking the alcohol.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 05:46 PM

Hmmm. Looks like she has also written a couple of others.

Link. The poetry volume Ups and Downs of Love has an author bio with a similar prose style. I bet the Spicy True Stories, Investigators Lies, Slanders And Stocks (with her photo on the cover, as with the poems) looks the same. Vanity publishing must be flourishing in Mississippi.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 06:20 PM

I'm afraid that there are no copies of her books in my Library, nor in my personal library. Somehow, some way, I have missed this work of this author. Since I did not know of her existence until today I can't really say that I'm sorry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 07:23 PM

I think you should be grateful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 07:35 PM

I agree, gratitude would be an appropriate emotion. However, Leedle Hack has raised an important issue which must needs be addressed, viz: Shall Pocatello engage in sibling rivalry with Schenectady? It would be a fraternal relationship brother-cities under the, er, skin, aand since Schenectady was founded well before Pocatello, Schenectady would prove to be more intelligent on a military intelligence test. Emotional, literary, and practical intelligence in other realms might still prove to be the natural legacy of the younger sibling city.

I think Mike should start such a scrap, just for the fun of watching the Legion run a series of midnight raids on Schenectady.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 08:27 PM

The Legion is currently engaged in Airborne Assault Missions, but I'll bring it up as soon as they're released by the TSA guys and the Sky Marshals. It's not what you think. The Legionaires didn't assault anyone. No, they were "witnessing" in favor of committing assault aboard commericial (and for all I know, military and private) aircraft: passing out literature, taking up collections, preaching, singing hymns, that sort of thing.

The Legionaires are being held in Communicado (just west of Pingaree, Idaho) while the Feds try to think up the crime that was committed. So far it looks like another "Disturbing the Peace" rap for the guys 'n' gals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 10:20 PM

Good Lord, Amos! You want me to get the Legion to Do Something to a town that has THIS for an official song?!?!!

Our Schenectady

What a warm and friendly place it is to be
Nestled among plains and hills
With a beautiful river that always gives us thrills
And stores and shops with all that one might need or wish to see
And legends and tales and lots of history

Oh Schenectady
Our Schenectady

Let us now plan and help to make it grow
If we will all do our best
Then others can do the rest
For places to study and learn in
Places to work and earn in
Places to live in happiness


                   (Adopted by the City Council Jan. 30, 1995)

Gad, man! The town has been dying since the Schenectady Massacre in 1690 and adopting THAT song shows that it's not only moribund, it's brain-dead.

Hmmmmmmmmmm...maybe a little pillaging and burning would do the Legion some good, assuming they can remember the correct order.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 11:39 PM

I had no idea the Schenectady Syndrome had gone so far. This is really serious. If Pocatello will not declare war on Schenectady, I will have to get Olivenhain to do it. This cancer must be stopped before it...oh, never mind. I just remembered the last two elections...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 12:40 AM

LOL!!!!!! The Schenectady song is SUCH a classic! It says, in a few short lines, everything that sums up the meaning of Schenectady. Yes. A really great place to bring up your kids in.

We have simply got to have a war between Pocatello and Schenectady.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 09:22 AM

Pocatello doesn't have an official city song. Or poem. You ever try to rhyme something with "Pocatello"? Fellow? Jell-O? Bellow? Yellow?

Out in Pocatello
A really friendly fellow
Who's very, very mellow
Is often heard to bellow
"Give me lots of Jell-O
And you better make it yellow!


Thanks, no. Even worse would be

Oh take me back to Pocatello
Where you'll find the UP tracks,
That's why the snow is often yellow
Where the trainmen spell their names.


Anyway, the Legion did get back into town early this morning, most of them. They arrived via cattle car (a 40 & 8 the State had obtained as surplus after WW1) and were glad to be out of durance vile. Immediately casting off their brown and yellow robes they made for The Bourbon Barrel, which was fumigated twenty minutes later by police tear gas.

I'll consult the Colonel-General today about the Schenectady issue. That official city song alone may be excuse enough for a pre-emptive strike.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 09:38 AM

However, Pocatello was designed "The Smile City" and passed a law back in 1948 that everyone had to smile. As a result, the Legion always smiles as the boys 'n' girls bash in each others' teeth, pillage local bars, and do unspeakable things to beer kegs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 10:01 AM

You have to use imagination and random vowels, Rapaire. THus:

It is very hard to tell, oh,
How we feel 'bout Pocatello
Every local girl and fellow,
Knows the beauty and the smell-o,
Of our fair town, Pocatello.


There are also more obscure rhymes to be had, such as duello, Othello, and the male version of a Disney character, Cruello. If you slur the pronunication to make it sound more like Pocatallo, then the field is wide open with fallow, tallow, mallow, callow and sallow.





A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 12:24 PM

There is an ad at the bottom right now for library songs. From Upstart, a place where libraries can buy promotional stuff. For some reason I couldn't make a link, but the CD (US $16.95) includes such hits as "Thank you, Melville Dewey" and "B-B-B Biography." I'm certain that you have all sung these for years and years.

I haven't, and I ain't gonna buy the CD, neither.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 12:54 PM

Ya wanna be careful about electing arbitrary certainties like that, Rapaire. They can sneak into your personal operating system and wreak havoc. Havoc, I tell you!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 01:34 PM

Link to Upstart


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 03:20 PM

Been there, done that, got the tee shirt. Literally. The one in the upper right corner. Size XL. Ya want it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 06:44 PM

Melville Dewey, he's the man
Do-dah, do-dah,
Melville Dewey, he's the man
Oh, de do dah day.

We thank him very much
We thank him lots and lots,
'Cuz Melville Dewey, he's the man
Oh, de do dah day.


Q: Know how to tell the difference between a librarian and computer geek?
A: A librarian says "point" and computer geek says "dot." Like in "six twelve point six" vs. "six twelve dot six." Of course, a REAL computer geek will know nothing about 612.6, which is the Dewey Decimal number for human reproduction. A librarian also possesses a modicum of social skills.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 06:55 PM

Amos,

I've just gotten off the phone with Colonel-General Helena B. Smyte-Withers, La Suprema Jefa of the Idaho Legion. The Legion, to my surprise, is all set for a little set-to with Schenectady just as soon as they find the keys to the arms room and update the muster rolls. In her own words, "Hell yes, boy! Just what we need around here to get the cobwebs out! A good war with a bunch of easterner dudes who couldn't find their butts with both hands, a flashlight, and a map! LACKEY! Saddle my stallion! Polish my sword! Get a move on before I kick your butt up between your shoulderblades agin!"

She has also alerted the Idaho Legion of the Air and the Idaho Branch of the Legion of Mary. The first consists of a fleet of blimps used to protect Idaho's coastline from enemy submarines and the second is a group of people in the Catholic Church who pray the rosary a lot. I don't think she has any authority over the latter.

What hath you wrought?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 09:18 PM

Flippin' decent! Maybe them retreads in Skenektadie will put youse idiots from Pocatello out to flippin' pastchere where ya belong, eh? It otta make a good movie.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 10:11 PM

"Shane," don't you think you've annoyed the Colonel-General enough? Blind River is, at this distance, just a slight detour on the road to Schenectady. And believe me, the C-G is not someone you want to mess with!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 12:20 AM

If the Legion can move to obliterate the creeping crud of mental miasma which is the Schenectady Syndrome, blot it out and nip it in the bud before the barn door gets out of the stable with the water under the bridge, I am all for it. My profound thanks to the bold legionnaires and their bold disease, and their fearless leader!!

A


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