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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 30 Nov 10 - 06:06 PM
Rapparee 30 Nov 10 - 05:38 PM
Little Hawk 30 Nov 10 - 04:30 PM
Amos 30 Nov 10 - 03:59 PM
Rapparee 30 Nov 10 - 03:30 PM
Amos 30 Nov 10 - 01:36 PM
Acme 30 Nov 10 - 12:25 PM
Amos 30 Nov 10 - 10:33 AM
Rapparee 30 Nov 10 - 10:25 AM
Amos 30 Nov 10 - 09:29 AM
Rapparee 30 Nov 10 - 01:05 AM
GUEST,Albert Schweitzer 29 Nov 10 - 11:35 PM
Amos 29 Nov 10 - 11:04 PM
Rapparee 29 Nov 10 - 10:30 PM
Acme 29 Nov 10 - 10:11 PM
Rapparee 29 Nov 10 - 08:55 PM
Amos 29 Nov 10 - 08:36 PM
Amos 29 Nov 10 - 07:57 PM
Rapparee 29 Nov 10 - 05:29 PM
Amos 29 Nov 10 - 05:12 PM
Rapparee 29 Nov 10 - 02:56 PM
Amos 29 Nov 10 - 02:24 PM
MMario 29 Nov 10 - 01:33 PM
Amos 29 Nov 10 - 12:25 PM
Amos 29 Nov 10 - 11:53 AM
Acme 29 Nov 10 - 11:42 AM
Amos 29 Nov 10 - 10:18 AM
Rapparee 29 Nov 10 - 10:11 AM
Acme 29 Nov 10 - 12:28 AM
Rapparee 28 Nov 10 - 11:11 PM
Little Hawk 28 Nov 10 - 10:37 PM
Amos 28 Nov 10 - 10:24 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 10 - 01:00 PM
Acme 28 Nov 10 - 11:19 AM
Amos 28 Nov 10 - 11:06 AM
Rapparee 28 Nov 10 - 10:07 AM
Amos 28 Nov 10 - 01:33 AM
Acme 28 Nov 10 - 12:19 AM
Rapparee 27 Nov 10 - 09:09 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 26 Nov 10 - 11:08 PM
Acme 26 Nov 10 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 10 - 10:03 PM
Ed T 26 Nov 10 - 08:48 PM
Ed T 26 Nov 10 - 08:46 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 10 - 07:18 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 10 - 05:37 PM
Acme 26 Nov 10 - 12:55 PM
Amos 26 Nov 10 - 11:29 AM
Amos 26 Nov 10 - 12:23 AM
Little Hawk 25 Nov 10 - 09:14 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 06:06 PM

Talk about seeing yourself reflected in life, how about Rapparee's visions, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 05:38 PM

That reminds me. The Gents up at the Hovel, destroyed a few days ago by an explosion and fire, is again operational. A fire suppression system, using the technology used for extinguishing aircraft fires, was installed along with a state-of-the-art, EPA-approved, air exchanger. This brings to a halt all of those pesky EPA fines about the release of "noxious fumes" and things. There was, I understand, a little conflict between the EPA and CDC but the US Public Health Service came down flatly on the side of the EPA and the CDC will have to conduct its experimentation and observations elsewhere.

The porta-potties used as temporary conveniences have been ordered incinerated and their ashes will be encased in concrete and shipped to the Yucca Mountain Waste Storage Site.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 04:30 PM

You are per'aps seeing yourself reflected in the mirror of life, mon cher! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 03:59 PM

It's all Geek to me, anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 03:30 PM

Did you say "Greek" or "Geek"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 01:36 PM

Do you have a backup?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 12:25 PM

MOM! My computer desk is so clean, and yet my mind is still full! The myth about the clean desk and empty mind is just that - a myth. But I still can't speak Greek. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 10:33 AM

The second irony is the crappy grammar of the writer of the report. Barbarians within the gates, long since...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 10:25 AM

He shot the projector. This does not bode well for movies.

(Yes, the irony occurred to me as well. But as the historian said, "Civilization is like a great and beautiful city on the bank of a river down which flows a trickle of blood. Sometimes the river overflows and the city has to be rebuilt."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 09:29 AM

On Monday afternoon, police received a phone call from the principal of Marinette High School, in Marinette, Wisc., alerting authorities that a Western Civilization class were being held at gunpoint on the campus.

The class was watching a film about Greek myths when a male student left the classroom. He returned moments later with a backpack.

...


Does the irony of this strike anyone else?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 01:05 AM

Those are my old spatulae! They were so very good to me in life! I am glad that they are in Spatula Heaven with Dr. Schweitzer. Wait...there's a tunnel opening with a bright light at the end...I...I see...spatualae...they are telling me...telling me...to return, for Amos is not yet ready and I am The Selected One to prepare him....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Albert Schweitzer
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 11:35 PM

I know you are all waiting to die so you can go to spatula heaven!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 11:04 PM

Well, the weather, of course, makes people nervous about having enough bathrooms...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 10:30 PM

We figured one time that we could sleep, in beds of one sort or another, about 12 people. We have sleeping bags and pads for a couple more. After that about 10 more who bring their own sleeping stuff could be accommodated, but privacy would go pffft and you'd have to schedule the bathrooms.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 10:11 PM

Location, location, location. Think of what your house would sell for if you moved it to CA, Rap. See if Gluon will give you a hand. That duck dog has been might quiet lately.

Maybe that's where my spatulas went to. S/he buried them in that old worm hold out past the fence on the 16th hole.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 08:55 PM

3 beds: $728,000
Full Baths: 2
Square Feet: 1820

Ranch Style home that offers a bright and open floor plan. With Frech doors, plantation shutters, designer window treatment all in neutral colors. Newer kitchen cabinets, w/granite & stainless appliances. Lg Master Bdrm suite has walkin closet & bath has dual vanities. Formal living rm with vaulted ceilings, plantation shutters,fireplace and french doors facing the private backyard patio. Entertain on the private patio or enjoy the sauna. Newer roof and tankless water heater.


6 beds
3 full baths + 1/2 bath
2.5 kitchens
3,500 square feet. NFS.

Ranch Style house that offers a bright and open floor plan with great northern light perfect for art projects, etc. Neutral colors but slowly being changed for something non-neutral. Solid wood cabinets in all kitchen areas, including a full pantry on the first floor. No radon-emitting granite; white appliances that permit better quality at lower prices. Master bedroom has completely refurbished bath and walk-in closet. Guest suite on lower level has a private kitchen, newly renovated bath. High-speed (wired and hence secure) Internet throughout. Two WBFP. Large back yard opens onto golf course; RV pad to back yard. Two car garage. Plenty of storage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 08:36 PM

Whying My Hereness

A quorum of gobble
A whiffle of gab
A dodder of fatuous
Hobbledy-hab
One frabjous tumescent,
ANd a spindly spy
Convened on the forum
Where mongrel-flies try
To winkle the wily
And fumble the few
And slum with the slyly
Effulgent, and you.

I frown on the woffle
And disdain the gabble
And scorn every fatuous
Hobbledy-habble.
I ignore the tumescent
And the spindly, also
And the mongrel-flies I
Will pretend not to know.
And the wily I willingly
Shun by the shins
And fracture the slyly
effulgent within.
I won't winkle wily ones
Nor fragment the few,
But I always delight
When you come into view.

Mary Slimme Pikkins
Sentiments from a Higher Plane
Yellow Basket Press, Precious, Iowa, 1954


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 07:57 PM

I tried to go check your webcm to see how bad it was, Rapp, but it was off-line due to inclement weather. No joke.

I am glad you feel alive by conquering the elements.

When you get tired of that game, and are comfortable in your aliveness, let me know and I'll find you a house. There's a nice one right next door for sale.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 05:29 PM

Through a foot of snow
See Rapparee go
Tho' it's Twenty eff
He goes right-left
With a windchill of six
Still he takes his licks
Because you can feel alive
When you don't take a dive
Not cop out, not turn yellow
By living in mellow
Southern-Cal-By-The-Sea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 05:12 PM

How dapper, he,
His clapper free,
And all exposed
Goes Rapparee
With absent hose
And zero clothes
And running nose
Rapparee goes.
How dapper, he!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 02:56 PM

You probably forgot and wore your codpiece (size Extra-Extra-Bragging) instead of...never mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 02:24 PM

It was those velour pilcrows you had hanging from your hat.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 01:33 PM

Funny - I had to run into the grocery store in my victorian chirstmas garb last night.

I got more funny looks then I do when I go in in my ren-faire garb! And yet it's far closer to "normal" streetwear then the ren garb....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 12:25 PM

I have a whole yard of extra decorative pilcrows, left over from the last manual I wrote. Would you like them to hang on the tree?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 11:53 AM

Rapparee was using them in the yard as part of his science project on "the effects of ultraviolet frequencies from solar radiation on the crystallization of post-digestive byproducts from domesticated canines". He was hoping to win the Science Fair this year and go to State, and I told him he probably would go to State, but not the way he meant...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 11:42 AM

I couldn't find any of the decorative spatulas when I was decking out the tree last night. Did one of you take them out of the ornament box? I want them washed and back where they belong by this evening.

Or Else.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 10:18 AM

You got that right, man...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 10:11 AM

Back in high school, Clarity was paramount. Clarity Connors...one of the three female cheerleaders on the cheering squad of the all-boys school. Because it WAS an all-boys school, those who knew were in band -- the only daily co-ed activity. The only co-ed activity that took long trips together. As a result, we were like a family of perfect ladies and gentlemen ("Drink the coffee, it'll put hair on your chest, Joan." "I don't have hair on my chest." "Can I see?" SLAP!). Our band director was a ex-Marine Drill Instructor who had landed in the first waves on Okinawa, Iwo Jima, and Guadalcanal -- no one stepped out of line, at least where he could see them. He was known to bite a sousaphone in two if it was ever so slightly out of tune. One day he was REALLY annoyed by the woodwinds and ate two oboes and a clarinet; he couldn't keep the saxophone down but then no one else could stomach it either.

Ah, those long lost days of my youth -- barefoot walks down sun-drenched lanes to the Old Fishin' Hole, being rescued by Old Shep, Howdy Doody on television, silver mouthpieces who would stay bought...now gone, all gone, to that vale from which no traveler returneth, at least until he serves his sentence. Ou sont les neiges d'antan?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 12:28 AM

I have several button hooks. They were in old sewing kits from my great aunt's house. Today they might be considered torture implements (at least if you tried to take them through an airport.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 11:11 PM

Spats.
Buttonhook.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 10:37 PM

More clarity, please.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 10:24 PM

I will be happy to provide you with as many past-perfect spats as you can use. All I have to do is make you spitting mad and then wait a moment, and Voila!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 01:00 PM

We have four TVs and three computers. Mostly we use the computers. I see no need to keep up with every fashion change. In fact, I'm currently looking for a buttonhook so I can do up my shoes -- does anyone have such a thing? It's also time for a new pair of spats!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 11:19 AM

I noticed some new features loaded into my BluTooth player last time I turned it on. Though why I would want facebook on my television (with no keyboard) is beyond me. NetFlix streams there or computers. Some rooms don't have TV, just radio, and that's enough. The pictures are better on the radio, after all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 11:06 AM

Hugs all around, all around.

The kids Tucker and Regina (well, they're twenty-somethings now but you know how it is...) were gobsmacked when we stopped by at Queen Calafia's Magic Circle Garden in Escondido for a visit before Thanksgiving dinner. It is a small place, but it makes you feel you have been transported into another land.

We installed the new Apple TV --about the size of a hockey puck--and linked our wireless network in. We can now play Netflix, Youtube, all our iTunes, photoshows from our computers, internet radio, iTunes movies, podcasts, education lectures and all sorts of fine dstuff through our HDTV. MOST impressive.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 10:07 AM

That's very...incomprehensible...Amos. I assume that it's something about hootchy-kootchy dancers of the 19th Century?

You'll be pleased to know, I'm sure, that this is the birthday of John Bunyan, William Blake, Friedrich Engels, and Claude Levi-Strauss. Celebrate! Bring in 19th Century hootchy-kootchy dancers!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 01:33 AM

Second the motion.

In my ramblings I have found this Gertrude Stein pastiche, “Poem About a Ball in the Nineteenth Century”:

    >Feather, feather, if it was a feather, feathers for fair, or to be fair, aroused. Round to be airy, feather, if it was airy, very, aviary, fairy, peacock to be well surrounded. Well-aired, amoving, to peacock, cared for, share dancing inner to be among aware.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 12:19 AM

There are so many recognized levels of Down Syndrome these days, and there is so much therapeutic work to be done, there is a lot of hope for a relatively good outcome. Seriously. I worked with a recreation program for several years in college; their main clients were handicapped adults, and there has been so much research and progress for Down Syndrome children and adults.

Big hug for you, Eiseley, and your brother's family.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 10 - 09:09 PM

That's wonderful...EXCEPT that I found Mom third, yes, THIRD from the bottom!

Eiseley, give the kid a special hug. She'll be needing hugs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 11:08 PM

I was able to welcome a brand new niece into the world yesterday. She is beautiful and healthy and oh, so sweet. . . .

. . . She also has Down Syndrome.

So it is a bittersweet time. My brother and his wife are still reeling, but the little sweetheart couldn't be more loved.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 10:38 PM

Don't you just LOVE how spell check has not a spec of syntax sense? Moped/mopped, they're both words. That's all it cares. No little red squiggly lines for either of those clusters of letters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 10:03 PM

You can walk under an umbrella with a girl with legs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 08:48 PM

"Under no circumstance should two men share an umbrella"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 08:46 PM

"You can cheat on girls with hairy legs"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 07:18 PM

According to information received here in Indiana, the Legion Hovel experienced a devastating fire last night when Short Rounds O'Really consumed too much of a Certain Ethnic Food and, while in the Necessary Room, lit a cigar. Short Rounds was found in Inkom, his clothing and hair burned, and the "Gents" will take at least two weeks to repair. In the meantime, the lease of several Porta-Potties has been arranged. Oddly, there were no real injuries and the explosion and fire wasn't noticed by the habituees until the Fire Brigade arrived. The absence of Short Rounds completely unnoticed, as is usual.

More on this later, especially after I get back and can obtain more information.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 05:37 PM

I moped a floor once, but was told to suck it up and be a man. Since I was already a boy at the time it was pretty easy, but a long wait. In fact, I'm still waiting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 12:55 PM

I thought MOM said she wanted to sleep till noon. Amos jumped the gun.

I'll let the dogs in and they can scope out any crumbs dropped at dinner. Easier that moping the floor. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 11:29 AM

Oh, Mom! The SLOTH! The NEGLECT!! Does no-one love you as I do? The vaunted breakfast-makers, the curriers of Favour, the flatterers and sycophants--where are they now? Here, come up the list with me, and we will have a nice long talk abut metaphysics, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 12:23 AM

Hahaha!! I have driven home in my fine car with beautiful women in all the seats from a gorgeous Thanksgiving dinner with every imaginable delight, music and good wine and intelligent conversation, and I am stuffed with turkey and strudel and nice wine and full of good feelings. I am surrounded by affectionate family members and am one of the luckiest men alive. So, I am glad you do not envy me anything, good Hawkster, as it would only diminish from my delight.

As for Rapaire, I chide him for specific, repeated errors. Only this, and nothing more. I chide him when he brown-noses, when he plagiarizes, when he self-inflates, and when he overdoes the rasty lust for violence. In all other things, I praise him to the skies.

And you, too.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 09:14 PM

Yes. The only thing I envy the poor chap for is the weather!

It's getting quite nasty here. Freezing rain.


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