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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 31 Jul 07 - 02:41 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 07 - 04:09 PM
MMario 31 Jul 07 - 04:10 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 07 - 05:27 PM
Amos 31 Jul 07 - 05:44 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 07 - 08:58 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 07 - 09:05 PM
Amos 31 Jul 07 - 09:56 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 07 - 10:55 PM
Amos 31 Jul 07 - 11:40 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 07 - 11:47 PM
Acme 01 Aug 07 - 01:38 AM
Rapparee 01 Aug 07 - 09:26 AM
Amos 01 Aug 07 - 01:53 PM
Little Hawk 01 Aug 07 - 01:59 PM
Amos 01 Aug 07 - 05:49 PM
Amos 02 Aug 07 - 12:48 AM
Acme 02 Aug 07 - 09:56 AM
Amos 02 Aug 07 - 10:43 AM
MMario 02 Aug 07 - 10:49 AM
Amos 02 Aug 07 - 11:48 AM
MMario 02 Aug 07 - 11:50 AM
Amos 02 Aug 07 - 03:41 PM
Amos 02 Aug 07 - 07:19 PM
Acme 02 Aug 07 - 07:29 PM
Acme 02 Aug 07 - 07:47 PM
Amos 02 Aug 07 - 08:45 PM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 12:04 AM
Acme 03 Aug 07 - 12:17 AM
beardedbruce 03 Aug 07 - 07:15 AM
Acme 03 Aug 07 - 08:59 AM
beardedbruce 03 Aug 07 - 09:26 AM
MMario 03 Aug 07 - 09:27 AM
Acme 03 Aug 07 - 09:53 AM
Acme 03 Aug 07 - 09:54 AM
beardedbruce 03 Aug 07 - 10:06 AM
MMario 03 Aug 07 - 10:09 AM
Acme 03 Aug 07 - 10:45 AM
Acme 03 Aug 07 - 11:01 AM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 11:28 AM
beardedbruce 03 Aug 07 - 02:00 PM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 02:07 PM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 03:17 PM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 03:19 PM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 03:20 PM
MMario 03 Aug 07 - 03:21 PM
MMario 03 Aug 07 - 03:22 PM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 03:22 PM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 03:23 PM
Acme 04 Aug 07 - 02:34 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 02:41 PM

ANd a happy 18555 to you, Sir Emm!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 04:09 PM

I just realized...MMario is really Eminem! What a bum rap!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 04:10 PM

MOM! Did you hear what RApaire said?

Make him take it back!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 05:27 PM

Okay. Eminem is rap bum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 05:44 PM

MMario, you should learn not to worry when Rapaire "just realizes" something. It doesn't mean anything in the real world, except perhaps to his pharmaceutical administrator.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 08:58 PM

Okay, Amos. That's it. I'm outa here.























Dear Mom,

I'm off to Canada and the Canadian Rockies tomorrow morning, so I can't promise that I'll be posting for a while. Probably, but who knows? I'm going to see my second-in-command become the VP/Pres-Elect of the Pacific Northwest Library Association in Edmonton and meet up with Bruce Murdoch and see all the mountains up there and do all sorts of stuff! And Mom? You know that stuff I did for Katlaughing over the weekend? It should start taking effect before the end of the week! Won't people be surprised!

Later, Mom.

Your fave rave kid,
Rapaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 09:05 PM

Damn shame that Shane got abducted by the aliens again, Rapaire. You might have had a chance to meet him face to face.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 09:56 PM

No, man...it would have driven Shane mad inside of thirty minutes. I tell ya...Rapaire has this way...this way of being there completely content with everything . It would have driven the boy starkers, I just know it. Besides, Rapaire doesn't know any chicks Shane's age.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 10:55 PM

Wrong, Amos. You are oh, so wrong! For example, my niece E. is "Shane"'s age. She, however, has good taste. She also is quite competent in the martial arts, including pistol (and yes, she has one). E. would rip "Shane" into tiny little bits if she felt it necessary. And E. also looks something like blonde Modesty Blaise. E. is a microbiologist by training and occupation.

Her sister, L., is similar except that L. is a couple years younger and has a BFA.

The youngest sister, M., combines the best traits of her older sisters and wishes to obtain a DVM. Perhaps, once she graduates with a DVM she can do something to help "Shane."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 11:40 PM

Yeah, Rapaire, well said indeed, and all honor to your bright and stalwart neices. But if Shane asked you if you knew any "chicks" his age, in that context I think you would disqualify your nieces in the first few nanoseconds. Or nanny seconds, or whatever...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 11:47 PM

Too bad the poor, misuderstood lad is not here to defend himself. I'm sure he would come up with some sort of telling, witty response.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 01:38 AM

He needs a satellite phone and a laptop and he could keep in touch from the road. Like explorers do from the wilds of the Amazon rain forest and from high atop the Himalayas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 09:26 AM

"Shane" has been taken by a bunch of space aliens who want to use his DNA as a good bad example. A picture of his abduction was recently released by NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center. The large structures in the picture are beer storage drums outside of Blind River, Ontario, Canada; the yellow streak traces "Shane"'s abduction. The color of the streak is no reflection upon "Shane"'s courage, but spectral analysis demostrates clearly that it is simply used beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 01:53 PM

An awesome thought -- that stream of used beer is thousands of miles long. It must be one molecule thick!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 01:59 PM

Well, Shane does consume a hell of a lot of beer. If he had panicked and lost control of his bladder while being beamed up, he might have produced a rather lengthy stream.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 05:49 PM

There's your answer to how Rapaire can stay in touch while traveling. From that height, the tiniest flick could reach him. The rest is just details of application.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 12:48 AM

Jeeze, Mom, the house is like a morgue tonight. Can we throw a party, and invite other threads in?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 09:56 AM

MOM, I'm really busy today, but I'm poking my head in before I leave the house to say I left a batch of fresh blueberry muffins on the kitchen counter for you and there is a can of ravioli for lunch. Don't burn the house down while I'm away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 10:43 AM

The amazing thing about Mom is even when all the kids dash off on their little projects, like Rapaire, she doesn't mind, she just keeps things ready at home for them to return.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 10:49 AM

I think MOM should start taking cruises, Elder Hostels, that sort of thing. Of course then she might bump into my parents - and I'm not sure the world is ready for that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 11:48 AM

Yeah, I can see it now...

"Why, yes....of course I know Leo...he's one of my boys!! Oh!! No!!! You don't say???? You're his...his...MOTHER? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahhahhahahahahahahahahahah..."

This meeting would not end well, I suspect.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 11:50 AM

Like the time my folks showed up at a renfair I was working

Co-worker to my mother "So you're the ones responsible for him?"

Mother to co-worker (with perfectly straight face) "We try to deny it as often as possible"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 03:41 PM

Well, parents get to be like that when kids start making up their own minds and the image is not the one the parents had in mind when they thought they were the source of the younker's mindset. Of course, they never were. At best they help filter the experiences feeding it. But they fancy themselves the molders of young minds. And somehow the mold alweays breaks before it is set.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 07:19 PM

ANyway it's too hot for molasses to be this slow!! And I have to go paint the pipe-hangars.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 07:29 PM

Molasses? I think I must have missed something. Molasses in August is like cocoa in January. Hmmm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 07:47 PM

Well, Mom, I've been looking for a good article to post to the new thread "News of Note (was 'I Read it . . .')" that I had to open after Joe closed my long-running "I Read it in the Newspaper" thread because it was being hammered by the same brain-dead spammer nearly every night. The article I sought came in the form of a link in an email from Moonglow, who points out that it is time for me to write another note. My son is still in high school. Texas has added a "god" line to it's pledge to the flag. I didn't know and still don't know that pledge, and I never say any of them, but this gives me one more thing to protest when I don't say those pledges.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 08:45 PM

USA Today reports:

"Texas students now pledge allegiance to 'one state, under God'

The Houston Chronicle says Texas has added the phrase "one state, under God" to its pledge of allegiance.

Since 2003, students in the Lone Star State have been required to begin their day by pledging allegiance to the state and federal governments. Students will recite the new pledge unless a parent submits a note requesting that they be exempt from the pledge requirement.

We didn't know that states had their own pledges, but the paper says Texas shares that practice with a handful of states. Here's a sampling of state pledges or salutes to the flag:

Texas: Honor the Texas flag; I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one state under God, one and indivisible.
Kentucky: I pledge allegiance to the Kentucky flag, and to the Sovereign State for
which it stands, one Commonwealth, blessed with diversity, natural wealth, beauty, and
grace from on High.
Michigan: I pledge allegiance to the flag of Michigan, and to the state for which it stands, 2 beautiful peninsulas united by a bridge of steel, where equal opportunity and justice to all is our ideal.
Alabama: Flag of Alabama I salute thee. To thee I pledge my allegiance, my service, and my life.
Louisiana: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the state of Louisiana and to the motto for which it stands: A state, under God, united in purpose and ideals, confident that justice shall prevail for all of those abiding here.
Ohio: I salute the flag of the state of Ohio and pledge to the Buckeye State respect and loyalty.
Arkansas: I Salute the Arkansas Flag With Its Diamond and Stars. We Pledge Our Loyalty to Thee.
South Dakota: I pledge loyalty and support to the flag and state of South Dakota, land of sunshine, land of infinite variety.
Mississippi: I salute the flag of Mississippi and the sovereign state for which it stands with pride in her history and achievements and with confidence in her future under the guidance of Almighty God."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 12:04 AM

Hey, I just wrote a sea-going song for a Mudcatter. Been dragging my feet on it for weeks now, and finally got 'er done.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 12:17 AM

All of them in the eastern 1/2 of the nation and most of them in the South. Kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 07:15 AM

"All of them in the eastern 1/2 of the nation and most of them in the South"

Texas:         Eastern?? Compared to Hawaii?
Kentucky:   ok
Michigan:      Southern? Not on my map.
Alabama:    ok
Louisiana: ok
Ohio:          Southern? I guess it is south of the Mason-Dixon line, but part of the Union during the Civil War.
Arkansas: . ok
South Dakota: Southern? Not on my map, either.
Mississippi:ok

Mostly Eastern, and a majority Southern.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 08:59 AM

Bruce, your point? I said they were in the eastern half, mostly southern, so the term mostly qualifies "southern" not "eastern". They are all in the eastern half, and most of them are down south.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 09:26 AM

And "MOST" of the voters voted for Bush in 2004, by your standard.

And since when is Texas "East"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 09:27 AM

Personally I wouldn't count ANT of them as "eastern" states. Ohio is mid-west.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 09:53 AM

Look at a map and draw a line. It's in the middle, and when you divide something down the middle you can safely say on one side is weat and on the other side is east. I am from the far far west, so Texas to me looks very east. But then, so does Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 09:54 AM

And anyway, pack it up and take it somewhere else if you want to argue your flavor of politics. This is a BS thread and doesn't need that kind of pollution!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 10:06 AM

Well, I am from the far EAST, so Texas to me looks very WEST.

But then, you never have been any good at seeing any viewpoint other than your own.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 10:09 AM

Wheras I still have the outlook of a Cape Codder - for me, New York is a "western state".

And New Jersey is "southern"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 10:45 AM

Where's Rap and his rattling sabre when we need it? He's up galavanting around Alberta out of touch.

Mom, tell Brucie to go outside and play. He's that kid from down the street who comes to hang out on our porch every so often and steal your cookies when you're not looking. I know you'd offer them if he asked, but that doesn't seem to work for him.

I have to go print a photo for a memorial service tomorrow so I'll leave you with an extra big pitcher of lemonade. The ceiling fan is on and the screen door is latched to keep out flying pests. Walking pests should close the door behind them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 11:01 AM

Amos, Amos, you must check this out for us! Paris Hilton has a jail now! I bet it's nicer than the Motel 6 in town. Please go spend the night next time you're in the LA area and report back:

Nicole Richie Will Do Time at Paris Hilton's Jail

Nicole Richie will serve her four-day jail sentence at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, Calif. ? the same jail where Paris Hilton did her time. "[Richie's] attorney contacted us and indicated she wants to do her time there," said Steve Whitmore, spokesman for the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, adding that no surrender date was given.

Whitmore couldn't say whether Richie, who's four months pregnant, would be housed at the facility's medical ward. "That's all determined by our medical staff upon her arrival," said Whitmore. If not in the medical facility, Richie, 25, could likely be placed in a segregated unit for high-profile inmates, as Hilton initially was, and locked up for 23 hours a day.

However, the Simple Life star may benefit from an early release policy of nonviolent offenders due to L.A.'s jail overcrowding problem. In May 2006, because of the overcrowding, actress Michelle Rodriguez served only four hours and 20 minutes of her two-month jail sentence for violating probation stemming from a DUI arrest in Hawaii.

Richie's time stems from her arrest for DUI on Dec. 11. On Friday she pleaded guilty in the case.

On Thursday's Good Morning America, she said she hopes to change her ways for the sake of her unborn child. "I would really want to be someone my child would look up to," Richie told Diane Sawyer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 11:28 AM

According to my research, she doesn't have to worry. On average, a child born in the United States looks up to his or her mother for at least thirteen years, although there are some exceptions.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 02:00 PM

Since this seems to be Stilly's private little party, I will not bother you any more.

But watch out, since she likes to start trouble, then go running to Mom to get her out of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 02:07 PM

Aw, Bruce, don't worry about it.    These tiffs come an' go, but Mom's house continues--it's all part of growin' up. Why, you should see me an Rapaire go at it sometimes, but he's beginning to grow up, too! Don't forget -- Stilly's a girl. Them's different, ya know?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:17 PM

Do not scrap or prang your brother!
You will aggravate our Mother
She will feed you bread unleavened,
And blockade your path to Heaven!

(Eighteen-five and ninety seven!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:19 PM

IF you must be rude and vile,
Do it somewhere else, a while
Or she'll come to you quite late
And rap her thimble on your pate!

(EIghteen-five and ninety eight!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:20 PM

You cannot gainsay our Mom,
Even lying with aplomb;
No matter what you try to do, you
Can be sure she'll see right through you!
This will ruin peace of mind.

(Eighteen-five and ninety nine!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:21 PM

You're trying for 18600, aren't you Amos? Haven't you learned yet that those even numbers will bring you bad luck?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:22 PM

ACK! You tricked me into posting on an even Hundred! Oh No!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:22 PM

But the time has come for smiles
And all cares cast off a while!
WE have mastered Grownup tricks!
Making peace-agreements stick!

(Finally, now, it's eighteen-six!!)

18600


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:23 PM

MOOOOOOOOM!!!!!! MMARIO TOOK MY EVEN HUNNERT!!!! MAKE HIM GIVE IT BACK!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Aug 07 - 02:34 AM

Good one, Leo!


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