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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 06 Oct 10 - 05:54 PM
Rapparee 06 Oct 10 - 05:41 PM
Little Hawk 06 Oct 10 - 05:25 PM
Rapparee 06 Oct 10 - 05:19 PM
Amos 06 Oct 10 - 02:42 PM
Amos 06 Oct 10 - 01:46 PM
Rapparee 06 Oct 10 - 09:48 AM
Little Hawk 05 Oct 10 - 11:22 PM
Acme 05 Oct 10 - 11:18 PM
Little Hawk 05 Oct 10 - 11:12 PM
Amos 05 Oct 10 - 07:47 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 10 - 07:13 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 10 - 03:08 PM
Little Hawk 05 Oct 10 - 02:43 PM
MMario 05 Oct 10 - 01:11 PM
Amos 05 Oct 10 - 12:15 PM
gnu 05 Oct 10 - 11:15 AM
Acme 05 Oct 10 - 11:03 AM
Rapparee 05 Oct 10 - 10:41 AM
Little Hawk 05 Oct 10 - 10:10 AM
Rapparee 05 Oct 10 - 09:42 AM
Eiseley 05 Oct 10 - 12:33 AM
Little Hawk 04 Oct 10 - 11:01 PM
Rapparee 04 Oct 10 - 10:50 PM
Eiseley 04 Oct 10 - 09:03 PM
gnu 04 Oct 10 - 06:37 PM
Little Hawk 04 Oct 10 - 06:04 PM
MMario 04 Oct 10 - 06:00 PM
Acme 04 Oct 10 - 02:31 PM
Acme 04 Oct 10 - 11:47 AM
Acme 04 Oct 10 - 02:34 AM
Acme 03 Oct 10 - 01:32 PM
gnu 03 Oct 10 - 01:19 PM
Eiseley 03 Oct 10 - 12:40 PM
Acme 03 Oct 10 - 12:37 PM
gnu 02 Oct 10 - 01:16 PM
Acme 02 Oct 10 - 12:12 PM
GUEST,Ebbie, housesitting 02 Oct 10 - 11:43 AM
Acme 02 Oct 10 - 11:33 AM
Acme 02 Oct 10 - 11:32 AM
Acme 02 Oct 10 - 12:37 AM
Eiseley 02 Oct 10 - 12:25 AM
Little Hawk 01 Oct 10 - 02:11 PM
Acme 01 Oct 10 - 11:22 AM
Little Hawk 01 Oct 10 - 11:03 AM
Rapparee 01 Oct 10 - 10:44 AM
Little Hawk 01 Oct 10 - 08:57 AM
Rapparee 01 Oct 10 - 08:45 AM
Little Hawk 01 Oct 10 - 02:33 AM
Rapparee 30 Sep 10 - 10:08 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 05:54 PM

LOL! (snort!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 05:41 PM

Shame couldn't go if he was pumped full of laxatives and dynamite. If he did he'd disappear completely.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 05:25 PM

Don't forget...Shane is going for 85 Billion posts on his thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 05:19 PM

...Should we but stop at Thirty-Eight
Or Forty-Five or Fifty-One
We would be daft, ourselves we'd hate
To a Million Million, ROLL ON!!!

          --Woody Gushne, Roll On, MOAB!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 02:42 PM

Now thirty-seven, eight and ten
Of humor, wit and light
Have flowed along our Mother's course
And kept her humors right.
No bile nor venom, angst or woe
Have lingered in her way.
And in due course, this brilliant force
Will touch the next of K.

At thirty-eight our Mother will
Be taller than a mountain!
Be longer than five other threads!
A vivid, brilliant fountain!
She will not stay or maunder here,
Nor ponder long or wait;
She marches on, with spirit strong
Bound for that Thirty-eight!

ANd you who bring her from afar,
Thoughts from high above
Or far below (I name no names)
Are worthy of her love.
For we who have no mothers now
To comfort and await them
Have learned the magic secret bright:
Instead of mourn, create them!

And so we turn and post again
Reflect, devise, create!
And so will bring this Mother home
To the throne of Thirty Eight!
And when we're done, and had our fun
We'll hold her even dearer
And in her sway (after Getaway)
For Forty-five will steer her.

Rolandsen Doggerel King
Mushmelon Brains and Poet's Tongue
Candyass Press, Greenwich Village, 1967


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 01:46 PM

I would suggest withdrawing the prefix altogether.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 09:48 AM

Geez, I took my boots off. Does she want me to take my spurs off as well? Them spurs are six-inch Spanish rowels and she gave them to me for my birthday so I wear them all the time, even with clean socks. I'm sentimental, I guess. Or did the doctor say "semi-mental"? Hmmmm....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 11:22 PM

Surely you jest, Madam! ;-) We are the models of decorum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 11:18 PM

MOM's so pleased to see all of you here for a visit after being away for so long. But she asks Rap and LH to keep their feet off of the furniture.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 11:12 PM

LOL!!! The dying notes at the end are perfect.

Song circle was very good tonight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 07:47 PM

Accompanied by the West River Police Department Marching Band (after budget cuts).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 07:13 PM

I think some of the visitors were William Shatner, Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin, Veronica Rutledge, and Shame McBride.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 03:08 PM

Again Amos is exaggerating. My boon roommates were Charley Noble and Roger from Baltimore and various others. It was difficult to keep them straight...well, it was difficult to know who was who...with the traffic to the other bunks all day and night. I myself slept alone (of course!) with my hands outside the covers, ready at all times to Protect My Honor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 02:43 PM

It's thrilling to contemplate, isn't it? I dare to hope that Mr Shatner will grace us with his august presence when the moment arrives.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 01:11 PM

Only two hundred posts to go until 38,000


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 12:15 PM

I am in a state of bemused admiration at Rapaire's inventive genius, to give it the charitable label it does not deserve. However, it is correct that I gave him the duel on technicalities, even though his throat was cut wide open at the time, so he had a hard time accepting the honor.

Thanks to the constant administration of divinely inspired amendments to my natural bloodcount, I had a divine weekend and am surprised to discover so few days passed on the outside, as the Getaway lasted at least a month. I did get to sleep one night, as I recall, and when I awoke the crew I had left singing in the Peace cabiun were still at it.

Rapaire was in better lodgings--they gave him one of the Virgin's Suites where they can feel more comfortable during their Getaway Defloration Weekend. When they come back for more a year later they learn about the normal bunks.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 11:15 AM

Rap... LMAO!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 11:03 AM

I'm sure when his plane lands he'll offer a thorough account.

Now that a few of your are back, I'm gonna go take a nap. MOM had me up early brining salmon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 10:41 AM

Everyone was watching over him. Kendall, for example, prevented Amos from starting a food fight with the apple butter. Amos kept shouting "This is for Chongo!" but Kendall slapped his hand and gently chided him as an old Game Warden, parting his hair with .38 slug. Oh, the tales Amos could tell if only he ever sobers up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 10:10 AM

I'm really glad you were there to watch over him, Rap. God knows what might have happened if you had not been.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 09:42 AM

Well, there was the time Amos stripped off all his clothes and posed on a rock out in the water while shouting "Look! I'm the Little Mermaid!" but the Coast Guard sorted him out. The CG released him on his own recognizance, but threw him back in the slammer when he couldn't recognize himself in the mirror or the arrest photo. Kept muttering something about "Thash the uglies pich...pitc...thash one UGLY dude, hic." Last I knew he was wandering around BWI airport, searching for the chewing gum he'd accidentally spit out; it had his upper plate attached.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 12:33 AM

Welcome home, folks!

Let's not tell them about the excitement until after they get over their jet lag, okay?

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 11:01 PM

Things went pretty much as usual, then? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 10:50 PM

Calm down, calm down. I'm back and intact. Amos conceded the duel on the Field of Offer to me on points, thereby preventing Joe Offer from lying in the mud whilst we fought a duel on him. The swords were sold in the Silent Auction, unbloodied by the gore of Amos.

Mom would be proud of Amos, too. He was only half drunk most of the time, and never more that 75% drunk any time that I saw him. I even think he changed his shirt after he dribbled the soup at Saturday's dinner on his front, because the next time I saw him there were brand new spots on the stains. Several people did ask me to check to see if the showers in his cabin were working and they were, but I told them it was his aftershave, which he never used because he isn't allowed anything except a rubber razor. He did get ahold of a banjo somewhere and ran around calling it his "precious" but the Folk Police took care of that.

More later.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 09:03 PM

I prefer these, which are what I baked for Mom to have for dessert tonight:

Molasses Spice Cookies

1/2 C. butter
1/2 C. sugar
1 egg
1/4 C. molasses
2 1/2 C. flour
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp allspice
1/4 tsp cloves
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp baking soda

Cream butter and sugar. Beat in egg and molasses. Gradually blend in dry ingredients that have been sifted together. Form on cookie sheets and bake at 375 for 10 to 12 minutes.

These get all crinkly on top, soft in the middle, and nicely crisp on the outside. Mom loves them.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 06:37 PM

What do molasses cookies have to do with anything?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 06:04 PM

Is your purity still intact?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 06:00 PM

Hi Mom! I'm home! Good to see the ladies kept you company while Rap, Amos and I were off drinking Singing at the Getaway


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 02:31 PM

Lunch is an open-face cheese sandwich on fresh homemade whole wheat bread and a glass of this new green tea with lychee and pomegranate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 11:47 AM

It seems I'm here by myself for a few days. MOM, lets shake a little dust off and go for a ride in the pickup truck. We can head over to the dump/recycle center and see if there's anything good to bring home that we can repair and use. I saw a lovely antique wringer washer there last week.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 02:34 AM

Twelve hours later, I've been up really late but I'm checking in on MOM and find she's been sitting here in the dark listening to AM radio for the last six hours. You know the kind of crap they're trying to sell over there.

I put MOM to bed and switched on a classical station on the radio for tomorrow. I figure you'll all regale her with your folk exploits when you get home, she can use a break until then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Oct 10 - 01:32 PM

MOM somehow seems to work it off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Oct 10 - 01:19 PM

Mom's gonna get fat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 03 Oct 10 - 12:40 PM

Wake up, Mom,
It's such a beautiful day, I thought you might like to have breakfast out on the porch swing. Here's a Harvest Gold muffin that I got at the farmers' market yesterday, and a cup of hot tea. All set now? Okay, I'll go inside and start a batch of plum jam.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Oct 10 - 12:37 PM

MOM! You were at the very bottom of the page and were within 40 minutes of dropping off of the page altogether! See what happens when the boys all head to the Getaway and forget about you? They don't check in, they don't write.

Here's some brunch, to cover the afternoon. I have to go out and work in the yard, but I'll be back in a few hours and check on you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Oct 10 - 01:16 PM

Had the ACs full tilt the last two days. Just removed the flower pots (6 with a total length of 14.5 feet, 4 colours of double impatiens) from the front of Mum's house and put them under the apple tree... may have frost the next few morns. We had a slight frost early last week but it wasn't a problem.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Oct 10 - 12:12 PM

Are you house-sitting for MOM, or Amos or Rapaire? Did you ever read about our virtual redecorating of Amos's house last year when he went on vacation? We can offer you some tips. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ebbie, housesitting
Date: 02 Oct 10 - 11:43 AM

Great Heavens! I noticed all those 7s and am alarmed. Never fear: this will break the mould.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Oct 10 - 11:33 AM

37777

Apropos of nothing, but certainly has a lot of sevens! :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Oct 10 - 11:32 AM

I wonder if any of those folks are up yet, or if they stayed up all night talking and singing at the Getaway?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Oct 10 - 12:37 AM

Clever girl!

Tell you what, tomorrow I'm going to "police the grounds" in the back yard. I'll give you a bucket of dog droppings and you can lob those over the guys. They'll assume the shit has hit the fan and stay put for the entire weekend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 02 Oct 10 - 12:25 AM

I've been lobbing golf balls onto the roof of the hovel from the trebuchet every hour or so just to make sure the Legion residents are too scairt to venture out. So far it's worked.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Oct 10 - 02:11 PM

And if you fire for the butt on most of those guys, you can hardly miss!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Oct 10 - 11:22 AM

Eiseley, it looks like you're in charge while Rapaire is away. Be sure your side arm is present and loaded any time you're near the Legion Hovel. Shoot for the butt or the kneecap if any of them gives you trouble.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Oct 10 - 11:03 AM

Those are very cogent questions, Rapaire, and I am glad you asked them. My feeling is that Chongo already knows about half that stuff and is ready and willing at any time to learn the rest. I'll pass it on to him and see what he says.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 10 - 10:44 AM

Can he ride a horse? Rope, brand, vaccinate and cut a dogie without getting roped, branded, vaccinated and cut himself? Does he know the correct pronouncation of the word "chaps"? Can he tell the difference between an arroyo, a coulee, a gulch? The difference between a butte and a mesa? Does he hold onto the horn when riding a McClellan saddle? Is he a dally man or tie hard and fast?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Oct 10 - 08:57 AM

Sounds like paradise for a guy like Chongo, Rapaire. If he ever has to leave Chicago for some reason, I will advise him to head straight out to Idaho. He could use some of that country air anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 10 - 08:45 AM

Yeah, they could probably make him a banana dacquiri or some other of those overly sweet fruity drinks he likes so much. True, they aren't prejudiced again anyone -- some of the members look a lot like chimps, only much taller -- but one of the rules to get in the bar is the possession, at some time now or in the past, of at least one working and fully opposable thumb (on your own hand). This rule is to prevent killings and other unpleasant acts resulting from accusations of cheating at various games of chance, such as Old Maid, Crazy Eights, Solitaire, and High Man Wins (gracious, there are LAWS against gambling in Idaho).

Tiny Moose also has a penchant for dance, or rather, watching others dance a jig. Tiny Moose plays the tune with the .30 caliber, belt fed, M1919A6 machine guns he carries as his sidearms. Some think it quite a treat to watch Tiny Moose, a gun in each hand, helping someone dance a jig on the specially reinforced Hovel floor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Oct 10 - 02:33 AM

Man, Chongo would LOVE that place! He'd fit in just like Dillinger at a bank robbery...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 10 - 10:08 PM

Thank you, Eiseley. I meant to post that, but thought that it would be better when the time was closer.

I think that little ditty I wrote says it all, don't you? Oh, yes -- about that bar up at the Legion Hovel: take over until I get back. Tiny Moose will help you if you need help; you've seen how he crushes 10 pound blocks of ice in his bare hands when he needs crushed ice, so don't hesitate to call on him should you need backup. Which you won't, because all the usual suspects saw you break that 6x6 with a roundhouse kick and the unusual ones are residing the local hoosegow.


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Mudcat time: 17 October 5:38 AM EDT

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