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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Eiseley 05 Jun 10 - 10:08 PM
Acme 05 Jun 10 - 09:16 PM
Rapparee 05 Jun 10 - 08:42 PM
Amos 05 Jun 10 - 05:57 PM
Acme 05 Jun 10 - 02:56 PM
Janie 05 Jun 10 - 02:02 PM
Rapparee 05 Jun 10 - 12:51 PM
Amos 05 Jun 10 - 12:20 PM
Rapparee 05 Jun 10 - 11:54 AM
Amos 05 Jun 10 - 11:47 AM
Acme 05 Jun 10 - 10:49 AM
Acme 04 Jun 10 - 07:00 PM
gnu 04 Jun 10 - 05:12 PM
Rapparee 04 Jun 10 - 04:50 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jun 10 - 04:15 PM
MMario 04 Jun 10 - 04:02 PM
gnu 04 Jun 10 - 03:45 PM
Amos 04 Jun 10 - 03:37 PM
Rapparee 04 Jun 10 - 11:49 AM
Rapparee 04 Jun 10 - 09:44 AM
Amos 04 Jun 10 - 09:23 AM
Eiseley 04 Jun 10 - 12:41 AM
Rapparee 03 Jun 10 - 11:27 PM
Eiseley 03 Jun 10 - 11:25 PM
Amos 03 Jun 10 - 11:16 PM
Janie 03 Jun 10 - 11:09 PM
Amos 03 Jun 10 - 11:00 PM
Rapparee 03 Jun 10 - 08:52 PM
Rapparee 03 Jun 10 - 08:52 PM
Amos 03 Jun 10 - 07:10 PM
Rapparee 03 Jun 10 - 07:00 PM
Little Hawk 03 Jun 10 - 06:26 PM
Rapparee 03 Jun 10 - 03:36 PM
Little Hawk 03 Jun 10 - 02:27 PM
Amos 03 Jun 10 - 02:18 PM
Rapparee 03 Jun 10 - 01:04 PM
Little Hawk 03 Jun 10 - 12:49 PM
Amos 03 Jun 10 - 11:58 AM
MMario 03 Jun 10 - 11:13 AM
Rapparee 03 Jun 10 - 11:01 AM
Amos 03 Jun 10 - 10:33 AM
Acme 03 Jun 10 - 02:16 AM
Acme 03 Jun 10 - 02:16 AM
Acme 03 Jun 10 - 02:16 AM
Acme 03 Jun 10 - 02:15 AM
Acme 03 Jun 10 - 02:14 AM
Acme 03 Jun 10 - 02:14 AM
Acme 03 Jun 10 - 02:14 AM
Acme 03 Jun 10 - 02:10 AM
Janie 03 Jun 10 - 12:41 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 10:08 PM

Those Patrick Boivin shorts are very diverting---some really clever and creative photography. Thanks for the recommendation.

I just came back from a wedding. The sun peeked out from the John Constable-like sky just as the bride strolled in on her brother's arm (her father died some years ago). It was very lovely. But the thing that took the cake was the surprising wedding cake. It was decorated with boxer dogs dressed in wedding attire standing on icing bones. Hmmm.

Tom has been plucking his magic twanger all day. Mike traded one of his guns for it at the Rendezvous yesterday. Now wasn't that nice!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 09:16 PM

I hope some of you will skip back down to the link I posted earlier today and visit some of those clever YouTube animations I sent you to look at.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 08:42 PM

Can he play the piano with his feet AND with his fingers at the same time? I've seen Eiseley do this, playing a duet with herself. It was Franz Schubert's Divertissement la Hongroise in G minor, Op. 54.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 05:57 PM

Well, Rapaire, these are American speakers, and among the nicest mid-range speakers I've heard.

But, chacun ? son mauvais gout indeed, old chum.

Mom!! The world renowned concert pianist ROman Rudnitsky is in our living room playing the piano!! I mean, like, fer REAL!!! I had for gotten what amazing fingers the man has. The notes just come rippling out like so many twinkles of sunlight!!

He is just warming up, too. Concert at 4PM, Mom!! Come on over!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 02:56 PM

Good luck with that, Janie! My son has my SansaFuze. I suspect I've seen the last of it. I knew how to work it. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 02:02 PM

MOM! MOM!

SumYungSun is back from the wilds of the Adirondacks. He promises me he get teach me to operate the iPod shuffle!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 12:51 PM

Aren't good old American speakers good enough for you, Amos? Or is that more of the pseudo-Socal-neoconservatism all you Republicans-In-The-Closet practice?

And if I bought speakers and they all they did was warble I'd take 'em back. But as my Viking ancestors used to say, "A chacun a son gout", which translates as "A chicken, a sound, and gout."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 12:20 PM

Mom! Mom!!

The new amplifier and the new Vienna speakers (in rich cherry hardwood finish) came!! They are all hooked up and the living room is full of rich warbles--"I know that my Redeemer liveth" at volume, an AWESOME room full of sweet frequencies. GROOOOOOVY, man!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 11:54 AM

Sorry, but after failing to get a good trade yesterday I was tired and needed my sleepy-bye. I was nestled all snug in my bed while visions of seeded bumps danced in my head. Perhaps today I'll be able to cut some of the grass and plant a few flowers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 11:47 AM

I think she was languishing in dismay when she heard Rapaire was out hocking her little ones. I mean really!! Such a brute, that retired bookman. Is it possible thta the only thing that kept him restrained to a thin veneer of civilization was being surrounded by readers and tomes all day? Since he has gotten out he's been...rapairacious!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 10:49 AM

Whoa, nearly 15 hours later I come back and MOM is languishing down near the drop off point. What were all of you thinking?

I know, you found Patrick Boivin's wonderful little films on YouTube. Distracting, aren't they? Love that Bruce Lee vs Ironman. Surprise ending!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 07:00 PM

I got a plumber to give me a discount on the trip to the roof with one of those roto rooter things the first time I had to call one out for a clogged drain. Since he didn't have a ladder handy and I loaned him mine, it seemed only fair to ask for a *little* discount. And that was the wrong pipe, anyway. We now know that it is the one in the wall under the kitchen window. And that's why I don't plant right up to that spot, so if I have to call them out, they won't get in trouble for treading in my veggies or flowers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 05:12 PM

LH... silly question... hehehehe... >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 04:50 PM

Couldn't cut any deals, dagnabit. So's I brought all back. Sure coulda used a new gun, too...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 04:15 PM

Does he have a wife named Jessica?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 04:02 PM

Stilly has her own Corps of Engineers? Wow!

Did I mention my nephew-the-priest is about to become rector in a swanky litte Rhode Isand town?

He's gonna be Rector Rabbit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 03:45 PM

Rap... "Clean water and proper sewage treatment are the uncelebrated, unheralded, heroes who have made our so-called civilization possible."

Thank you, on behalf of all Silly Engineers.

Oh, we take a lot of shit sometimes, but where would you go without us?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 03:37 PM

You danged eejit, donchew dare do anny setch thang!!

Mom would NOT take kindly to yer trying to pawn off her chilluns and granchilluns out of personal cupidity. She would tan yore hide and use it fer garters, I reckon.

Dang, sometimez you are a moron and its lucky yew got me and the sibs to keep yore dumb ass out of trubble.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 11:49 AM

I'm a-gonna take Eiseley and two of her boys to Rondy today and see what I kin git fer 'em. I figger at the very least I oughta be able to git a new trade gun er a Bay blanket er both iffen I'm lucky. Iffen nobody wants 'em I'll jist turn 'em loose agin. Need new beaver traps, too. I figger iffen I give somebody enough 40-rod he'll take a deal fer 'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 09:44 AM

You may quote me, as long as you properly attribute the quote. It's copyrighted and all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 09:23 AM

Rapaire:

That excerpt is so p[recious it makes me want to weep. Oh, the delusion, the sweet hallucination, the alphabetical mystery of it!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 12:41 AM

Now if only such a stout and burly plumber would fix the leaking oil pipe!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 11:27 PM

Efficient plumbing is the hallmark of a great civilization, Amos. Clean water and proper sewage treatment are the uncelebrated, unheralded, heroes who have made our so-called civilization possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 11:25 PM

This is what Leo Tolstoy wrote about Writing Without (very many) Vowels (in Anna Karenina):
`No,' said Kitty, blushing, but looking at him all the more bravely with her truthful eyes; `a girl may be so circumstanced that she cannot live in the family without humiliation, while she herself...'

At the hint he understood her.

`Oh, yes,' he said. `Yes, yes, yes - you're right; you're right!'

And he saw all that Pestsov had been maintaining at dinner about the liberty of woman, simply from getting a glimpse of the terror of an old maid's existence and its humiliation in Kitty's heart; and loving her, he felt that terror and humiliation, and at once gave up his arguments.

A silence followed. She was still drawing with the chalk on the table. Her eyes were shining with a soft light. Under the influence of her mood he felt in all his being a continually growing tension of happiness.

`Ah! I've scribbled all over the table!' she said, and, laying down the chalk, she made a movement as though to get up.

`What! Shall I be left alone - without her?' he thought with horror, and he took the chalk. `Wait a minute,' he said, sitting down to the table. `I've long wanted to ask you one thing.'

He looked straight into her caressing, though frightened eyes.

`Please, ask it.'

`Here,' he said; and he wrote the initial letters, w, y, t, m: i, c, n, b, d, t, m, n, o, t. These letters meant, `When you told me: it could never be, did that mean never, or then?' There seemed no likelihood that she could make out this complicated sentence; but he looked at her as though his life depended on her understanding the words.

She glanced at him seriously, then leaned her puckered brow on her hands and began to read. Once or twice she stole a look at him, as though asking him, `Is it what I think it is?'

`I understand,' she said, flushing.

`What is this word?' he said, pointing to the n that stood for never.

`It means never,' she said; `but that's not true!'

He quickly rubbed out what he had written, gave her the chalk, and stood up. She wrote, t, i, c, n, a, d.

Dolly was completely comforted in the depression caused by her conversation with Alexei Alexandrovich when she caught sight of the two figures: Kitty with the chalk in her hand, with a shy and happy smile looking upward at Levin, and his handsome figure bending over the table with glowing eyes fastened one minute on the table and the next on her. He was suddenly radiant: he had understood. It meant, `Then I could not answer differently.'

He glanced at her questioningly, timidly.

`Only then?'

`Yes,' her smile answered.

`And n... And now?' he asked.

`Well, read this. I'll tell you what I should like - should like so much!' She wrote the initial letters, i, y, c, f, a, f, w, h. This meant, `If you could forget and forgive what happened.'

He snatched the chalk with nervous, trembling fingers, and breaking it, wrote the initial letters of the following phrase, `I have nothing to forget and to forgive; I have never ceased to love you.'

She glanced at him with a smile that did not waver.

`I understand,' she said in a whisper.

He sat down and wrote a long phrase. She understood it all, and without asking him, `Is it this?' took the chalk and at once answered.

For a long while he could not understand what she had written, and often looked into her eyes. He was stupefied with happiness. He could not supply the words she had meant; but in her charming eyes, beaming with happiness, he saw all he needed to know. And he wrote three letters. But he had hardly finished writing when she read them over her arm, and herself finished and wrote the answer, `Yes.'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 11:16 PM

Mom, I celebrate the plumber, stout and burly, who clambered up to our roof today lugging a hundred and twenty pounds of scarred and brutish drain cleaning machine and placed it firmly in its place and made it snarl and spit and chew. From his high vantage point, using sheer will and the sweat of his bulbous muskles, he drove the tip of that shit-eating monster down through the air vent, into the garage drain and along the length of a lateral to the place where he found the Wall of Crud that had backed up our garage sink and kitchen drain. It was a gruesome situation, with foul black bilious waters oozing up into the kitchen sink and filling the laundry sink, but he was undismayed. He sent out fifteen, twenty, thirty feet of sinewy cable and drove his whirling steel tooth deeper and deeper into the muck. He strained and heaved and drove. The house shivered with the grinding clank of his monstrous wild rotary-steel machine, threatening at any minute to break his spell and flail out at him, throwing him from the rooftop or devouring him on the spot. But he held it in his steely gaze and iron grip, and drilled on.

And he conquered that pipe, Mom. He did. A moment came when the six inches of water in the kitchen sink sank and vanished, leaving only a rime of filthy black sludge in its wake. Another moment and the laundry sink, too, succumbed to his stubborn will and gave up its load to the pipes below, gurgling and gasping with resentful exhaustion as it yielded to his greater power.

A short while later he was done, the drains were running free with hot, clear water flushing them to the street and the giant sewer beyond. He beamed with the satisfaction of victory and hauled his slave machine, panting from the exertion, back down the ladder into its cage in the back of his DrainMedic truck.

He sank, exhausted, into our garage chair and laughed the weary laugh of the conqueror, home from battle.

I celebrate this man, who succeeded where others failed before him, and brought home the bacon.

Back when we were in our Youth,
Justice Beauty and the Truth
Was what we thought that Life was all about.
But now that we've aged apace
We have learned that Life is based
On water going in and coming out!

The plumber is the Man,
The plumber is the Man
He's never there until you call
Then he drives out through the night
And he puts your plumbing right,
Oh, the plumber is the man who saves us all!


A.

First Vowel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 11:09 PM

A B C D Puppies?

Y S, I C D Puppies.

C M P N?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 11:00 PM

Be gentle as you go about it, sir, lest you incur Irritated Vowel Syndrome.

A.

First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 08:52 PM

I like this idea, Amos. A vowel resection, so to speak.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 08:52 PM

second vowel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 07:10 PM

You should start a Reformed Vowel Movement!


A.
First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 07:00 PM

a,e,i,o,u, and sometimes y and sometimes w
a,e,i,o,u, and sometimes y and sometimes w
a,e,i,o,u, and sometimes y and sometimes w
a,e,i,o,u, and sometimes y and sometimes w

It was difficult for a third grader to understand "w" as a vowel, but we really weren't into Welsh back in grade school. In fact, some of my classmates had a hard time with their vowels. I remember one or two who had vowel blockages for months, but they worked it out in the end.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 06:26 PM

LOL! The stuff with no vowels sort of sounds like Klingon, don't you think?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 03:36 PM

Dn't cll m a Crtn! m nt Grk!




Oh, ah...what a relief a vowel movement brings. I was consonantpated and needed a good phthisic. Like my granny used to say, "Always attend to your vowels and you'll have a long and happy life."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 02:27 PM

Y shmblng knckldrggng drlng mrn! Hw dr y tlk t - lbrrn n tht fshn?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 02:18 PM

Nd f ccssnl chld ws scrfcd t Mlch (r Bl), s wht? Ths shld mk Ms hpp, n?

You cretin!!!!!! You obviously mean "Nd f n ccssnl chld ws scrfcd t Mlch (r Bl)... ". Just because you have lost your parents does not mean you should turn your back on your grammar!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 01:04 PM

I shall, in the future, eschew vowels. The Phoenicians did this nd lk hw wll thy dd. Gnrtns f rch nd fms trdrs nd gnrls, lk Hnnbl. Nd f ccssnl chld ws scrfcd t Mlch (r Bl), s wht? Ths shld mk Ms hpp, n?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 12:49 PM

Itz gud t se peepl finly tkin snsbly arnd hr.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 11:58 AM

If u cn rd ths u cn gt a gd jb nd mk gd mney.
If u wrt lk ths u r a mron.

I am sorry to say it Rapaire but in the interest of remedial education I should point out that to qualify as high-grade BS an assertion must have some thread of connection to reality. Complete delusion, such as you have lately expressed, is a bridge too far.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 11:13 AM

Janie - maybe your keyboard is like a peony and is about to bloom?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 11:01 AM

Cuss u sed that stuf bout jirmanik polly silly bulls. So I am gonna make kumunikashun ezer for u by writen stuf at yor levle of talken. U r a nis guy mostlee an I want for u to unnerstan wat I rite.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 10:33 AM

WOw!! A serial Tour de Force by Ms Sage!!

Rapaire, why must you carry on so!?! We ALL know how onderful you are!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 02:16 AM

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father. "Don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs.

36000


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 02:16 AM

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose
What made you so awfully clever?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 02:16 AM

"In my youth," said his fater, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 02:15 AM

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
"I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment one shilling a box
Allow me to sell you a couple?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 02:14 AM

"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
And you have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door
Pray what is the reason for that?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 02:14 AM

"In my youth," father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 02:14 AM

You are old, father William...

"You are old, father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head
Do you think, at your age, it is right?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 02:10 AM

Getting very close to another K, aren't we? And you guys haven't been hovering over it this evening?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 03 Jun 10 - 12:41 AM

Let's see one of ya'll trump that for BS.

BS + meaningless. don't get no better than that, Ma.


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