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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 09 Mar 08 - 04:26 PM
Rapparee 09 Mar 08 - 04:34 PM
Acme 09 Mar 08 - 04:57 PM
Rapparee 09 Mar 08 - 05:21 PM
Amos 09 Mar 08 - 05:29 PM
Amos 09 Mar 08 - 05:33 PM
Rapparee 09 Mar 08 - 05:35 PM
Janie 09 Mar 08 - 05:37 PM
Janie 09 Mar 08 - 05:46 PM
Amos 09 Mar 08 - 05:47 PM
Acme 09 Mar 08 - 06:53 PM
Rapparee 09 Mar 08 - 07:04 PM
Amos 09 Mar 08 - 08:37 PM
Amos 09 Mar 08 - 09:27 PM
Rapparee 09 Mar 08 - 09:30 PM
Acme 10 Mar 08 - 12:49 AM
Rapparee 10 Mar 08 - 08:59 AM
Rapparee 10 Mar 08 - 08:59 AM
Amos 10 Mar 08 - 10:51 AM
Amos 10 Mar 08 - 12:36 PM
Amos 10 Mar 08 - 01:31 PM
Amos 10 Mar 08 - 01:37 PM
MMario 10 Mar 08 - 01:51 PM
Amos 10 Mar 08 - 03:09 PM
Rapparee 10 Mar 08 - 03:20 PM
Rapparee 10 Mar 08 - 08:31 PM
Acme 10 Mar 08 - 08:35 PM
Amos 10 Mar 08 - 10:46 PM
Little Hawk 10 Mar 08 - 11:09 PM
Janie 10 Mar 08 - 11:50 PM
Acme 11 Mar 08 - 01:24 AM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 07:59 AM
Rapparee 11 Mar 08 - 09:01 AM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 09:32 AM
Little Hawk 11 Mar 08 - 12:45 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 08 - 12:51 PM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 03:51 PM
Little Hawk 11 Mar 08 - 04:14 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 08 - 04:40 PM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 05:34 PM
Acme 11 Mar 08 - 05:36 PM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 08:19 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 08 - 09:08 PM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 10:12 PM
Little Hawk 11 Mar 08 - 11:46 PM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 12:08 AM
Acme 12 Mar 08 - 12:42 AM
Rapparee 12 Mar 08 - 09:10 AM
Acme 12 Mar 08 - 10:34 AM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 10:43 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 08 - 04:26 PM

You do sound a little like Hannity, when you get shrill, amigo. And as for the charge I laid at your feet, it was due to the talent you have just now demonstrated of speaking loudly, and quickly, without coherence or merit of reason. This is not a "bad" thing; it has worked terribly well for the panic mongers and the people-controllers of Republican power-circles in the last 24 years.

So you're in good company, even though you have yet to come out and own your leanings.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 08 - 04:34 PM

Oh. Like Richard Daley I and them folks, huh?

I take it all back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Mar 08 - 04:57 PM

It's a nice day out, guys! Go play in the yard! Take out the trash! Pull out the instructions for all of the devices around the house that have clocks and figure out how to set them. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 08 - 05:21 PM

I just returned from the yard. I sprayed a little coyote pee around and spread some vole poison here and there. Damned critters have eaten runways around the northeast corner. I'll go buy some more poison tomorrow. City won't let me shoot 'em. It ain't like the old days, by crackey!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 08 - 05:29 PM

Oh, then tell me, Jane McCassidy,
Say why you hurry so?
Hus allay allay me boyo,
And her cheeks were bright aglow.
We must dance the dance of bosons
Dance with grace and with aplomb!For the minds will meld forever,
At the Rising of the Mom!!

At the rising of the Mom
At the rising of the Mom;
Give pure BS to the faithful,
At the rising of the Mom.

Ah then tell me, Jane Mccassidy,
Where the triumph ball will be?
In the River of Forever,
By the K of Twenty-three!
With the furbelows forgotten,
And the Bay Street clean and calm,
We will grift the Light Fantastic
At the Rising of the Mom.

At the rising of the Mom
At the rising of the Mom;
Grifting down the Dallah Lily,
At the rising of the Mom.

Ah, in every quiet household,
By the shining of the screens,
Something surely odd was coming,
As the world had never seen!
It was BS in confluence,
At the Rising of the Mom!!

At the rising of the Mom
At the rising of the Mom;
We were combing out the gloaming,
At the rising of the Mom.

Padraic Seamus O'Rhonnerus
Bleary Constellations of Irish Thought
Cormick, Gieus, Aquiddeh, Fergaghn, Todah, pub.
Dublin, 1867


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 08 - 05:33 PM

GOddamn printer's devils have fouled up and pied the proof again.

It was BS in confluence,
At the Rising of the Mom!!

Should be

It was humming through the incidence,
Reflecting in the dawn,
It was BS in confluence
At the rising of the Mom!

I htae ypsot. Don't you?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 08 - 05:35 PM

Kinda blew the last verse, didn't he? Six lines and it shoulda been seven.

Well, shure, an' that's the Oirish fer ya, me bucko.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 09 Mar 08 - 05:37 PM

You can, Rap. You surely can.

Which begs the question...why didn't you?

I knew Amos could be counted on - but you? Oh, brilliant enough, no doubt, and a fount of BS (not to mention 'pomes') to equal our dear Amos. But can we truly depend on you to be there with the post at just the right moment?

Can we?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 09 Mar 08 - 05:46 PM

And I am a little slow - about 5 or 6 posts slow.

But please tell me you love me anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 08 - 05:47 PM

Dear Rapaire:

Kinda blew your last post, didn't you? Said seven lines, and it should have been eight.

Anyway, see the correction, good Sir, and, as I was told about my first efforts at humor when I was but a sprat, "Keep plugging!".


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Mar 08 - 06:53 PM

It's raining again, Mom. I didn't get to take the dogs for a walk in time, and none of us is fond of strolls in the rain. I'm too far removed from my PNW roots these days. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 08 - 07:04 PM

Amos, there were six (6, VI, 110, 20, 12, 11, 10) lines in the last verse and one written in invisible ink!!! That seventh line only became visible after I had posted. In the other verses there were seven lines and one written in the same invisible ink.

Humph. I think I'll post the rest of my response in the Secret MOAB Code:

You just think I can be fooled by the tricks you learned when you worked for NSA spying on good Americans. Haha! Fooled you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 08 - 08:37 PM

A World Of Telling Beauty



Jes' for mah friends.... Click on through and be at peace...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 08 - 09:27 PM

"The universe is 13.73 billion years old, give or take 120 million years, astronomers said last week.

That age, based on precision measurements of the oldest light in the universe, agrees with results announced in 2006. Two additional years of data from a NASA satellite known as the Wilkinson Microwave Anisotropy Probe have narrowed the uncertainty by tens of millions of years.

ŇEverything is tightening up and giving us better and better precision all the time,Ó said Charles L. Bennett, a professor of physics and astronomy at Johns Hopkins University and the leader of the group analyzing the data. ŇItŐs actually significantly better than previous results. There is all kinds of richness in the data.Ó

About 380,000 years after the Big Bang, the universe cooled enough for protons and electrons to combine into hydrogen atoms. That released a burst of light, which over the billions of years since has cooled to a bath of microwaves pervading the cosmos.

Yet there are slight variations in the background, which the NASA satellite has been measuring since 2001. Those variations have given evidence supporting an idea known as cosmic inflation, a rapid expansion of the universe in the first trillionth of a trillionth of a second of its existence..."NYT

Just figgered you-all should know.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 08 - 09:30 PM

So inflation has always been a problem, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 12:49 AM

Nice fish, Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 08:59 AM

Three hundred posts ago Mom gave me 22222. And you people stole it from me, ripped it from my bosom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 08:59 AM

22522.

Mine! Mom said so!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 10:51 AM

Because I so loved the MOAB, I give them the latest and greatest mind-sharpening, time-wasting, rice-giving charitable diversion yet seen by man -- the amazing FreeRice. You will soon find yourself posing questions that never occurred to you before, such as "What use is a dilatory panjandrum?". Warning -- may actually detract from MOAB time.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 12:36 PM

YOu should go back to the fish picture and then meander through the collection by clicking on the PReviosu button. Awesome tour of the world's interesting coins and nuiches, the tiny places where beauty walks, untroubled by opinion and unafraid of capture.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 01:31 PM

Deja vue revisits its Temps Perdus a second time:


The MOABites ran like wolves to the fold,
And their numbers were drooling and laughing, and old
In the pale purple dawn, at the rise of the hill
They stood in array, and they laughed soft and shrill.
Their horses cavorted, their trumpets were gold
And they sang out "BS"! in the damp and the cold.

Then each one to his stirrups, to each his épée
And they swung to their saddles, and galloped toward day,
With the screams of the dying rattling over the plain
The MOABites struck, struck again, struck again.
That was long long ago, as the elders recall,
Who were there and who saw it, and remember it all.

It was cognitive madness, a mind's paroxysm
Not one gal was sure what was hers, or was his'n.
On that plain stands, today, just a cold granite marker,
To remember the day when the MOAB went starker.
In cool quiet letters, the stone doth profess:
"On this hill, at one time, there was first-class BS."

Merriwether Longjaw Stooling
Songs of the MOAB
Brown and Ridickledockle, New York, 1947
Reprinted by Neiges d'Antan Publications, Poughkeepsie, 2008


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 01:37 PM

When a granular material such as sand is mixed with a certain amount of liquid, the surface tension of the latter bestows considerable stiffness to the material, which enables, for example, sand castles to be sculpted1, 2, 3, 4. The geometry of the liquid interface within the granular pile is of extraordinary complexity and strongly varies with the liquid content5, 6, 7. Surprisingly, the mechanical properties of the pile are largely independent of the amount of liquid2, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 over a wide range14, 15, 16. We resolve this puzzle with the help of X-ray microtomography, showing that the remarkable insensitivity of the mechanical properties to the liquid content is due to the particular organization of the liquid in the pile into open structures. For spherical grains, a simple geometric rule is established, which relates the macroscopic properties to the internal liquid morphologies. We present evidence that this concept is also valid for systems with non-spherical grains. Hence, our results provide new insight towards understanding the complex physics of a large variety of wet granular systems including land slides, as well as mixing and agglomeration problems.




I thought this might be important. Microtubular hydraulic nodes supporting variable-pressure open-strucutred liquid patterns could conceivably provide a breakthrough in construction of large configurable shelters or other supporting structures.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 01:51 PM

this concept is also valid for systems with non-spherical grains

this is a good thing, because most grains are not spherical. Millet, sorghum and quinoa can probably be considered spherical, but rye, maize, wheat, barley are most definately non spherical.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 03:09 PM

C-64, on the other hand, is spherical for practical purposes, and I suppose titanium or palladium or similar metals could easily be made spherical int heir grains should that be desired.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 03:20 PM

Lead is easily made round. So is C-4.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 08:31 PM

Mom, I'm seriously worried. I'm having this MRI on Wednesday and I may very well need knee surgery. If that's the case, I'm going to be down for a couple of days and I don't know WHO is going to look after you. I mean, who else can you depend upon?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 08:35 PM

I have a friend who is stuck at home, suffering from what we think sounds like shingles. Maybe I can draft him to come help out for a few days. As long has he uses a spell check he'll be okay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 10:46 PM

Fill in for Rapaire? Hell, I could do it with one hand tied behind my keyboard. I'll just start a second identity, just for Mom, and I'll argue myself blue in the facer. No problem, man, Mom will be just fine when you get back. Piece o' cake.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 11:09 PM

"who else can you depend upon?"

Well......I'm thinkin'...

Shane?

Chongo?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 11:50 PM

They gonna do the MRI and take you straight to surgery, if indicated???!!!!

If so, don't you think you should leave a few bequests for your MOAB brethern?



Just in case, you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 01:24 AM

MOM says don't even say that in joking!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 07:59 AM

Well, especially his collection of rare stolen works. That's priceless, one of a kind.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 09:01 AM

Amos, you...you...know about...my art collection? About the sad-eyed clowns and the kids with big eyes and my collection of Elvises painted on black velvet which would be internationally famous if I could show it which I can't? About my complete collection of Harlequin Romances and Jacquelyn Susanne and Danielle Steel novels?

Well, if I croak on the surgery table I leave them all to you, Amos. Because I know that of all the MOABites, you and you alone would fully appreciate them. Only you have the wit and intelligence to fully understand their subtleties, the nuances which make them the art they are.

You should be proud.

Of course, the are stolen property....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 09:32 AM

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, Dr Stick E. Fingerz!!

I was thinking more of the literary collection, but hell, no reason to not include the matched Keanes and the Black Velvet series.

However, it is very, very rare to succumb during knee surgery. You would not want to go into a joint with that kind of reputation.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 12:45 PM

You're on the right track, Rapaire. I too have some rare and valuable stuff I am going to leave Amos. Namely, the lamp that looks like a lady's leg in fishnet stockings and the Singing, Dancing Santa Claus that sings "Jingle Bell Rock" and is automatically triggered to start doing so whenever anyone walks within 6 feet of it. Those are items I would not dream of leaving to anyone else but Amos. I know that he fully appreciates such things and will give them a place of pride in his mansion. Then too, there are 8500 back issues of Popular Mechanics here that need a good home....and a complete collection of (one each of) all the reptilian beanie babies ever issued.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 12:51 PM

I am also leaving him my complete collection of singing fake fish. They're all motion activated so he should get months and months of enjoyment from Big Mouth Billy Bass and all of his kinfolks.

Do you think his sophisticated enough for my collection of whoopee cushions? Or should I leave those to the Church?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 03:51 PM

No, leave them to the Church. I would never get the buances.

I think you guys have me badly confused with Sinsull. This kind of crap is her metier.

Anyway, this clearly demonstrates why Rapaire can be readily and easily filled-in-for when he goes under.

My regards to 'Streyelia, Rap.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 04:14 PM

Shane would enjoy the whoopee cushions, Rapaire. So would Don.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 04:40 PM

Actually, I put them under the mattresses in the guest bedrooms....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 05:34 PM

Makes them kind of awkward to reinflate, doesn't it?

SUch a thoughtful host...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 05:36 PM

Amos said I would never get the buances.

You would if the whoopie cushions are under the mattresses. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 08:19 PM

I think I must have mis-typed -- the b should have been an "n", spelling "nuances". In context this makes much more sense. After all, I am pretty sure there is no such word as "buances", or its putative singular, "buance". At least, as far as I know...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 09:08 PM

A "buance" is a ghost that inhabits the uplands of certain islands near Sumatra. It is said to be the spirit of a young girl or woman who died before she had ever eaten cassava and so spends eternity searching for cassava seeds. According to the locals, if you are confronted by a buance you simply have to point in some direction and the buance will go off that way on its eternal cassava search. The buance is not vindictive or nasty, just sort of lost. You can protect yourself against a buance by wearing a "titan arum" flower on your clothing or in your hair.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 10:12 PM

Wow...that is very impressive. Would I could have such a tale for every typo my fat thumbs produce, I'd have The Golden Bough collected.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 11:46 PM

Do like Chongo does instead. Swing from the Golden Bough!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:08 AM

He only does that when he wants to start a Golden Shower, LH...according to his confessions memoirs.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:42 AM

It would serve you right if Diana picked up that oak branch and gave Chongo and LH a swat with it.

Take it easy tomorrow, Mike!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 09:10 AM

Someone has to mislead the young...and Amos. I thought it rather good, especially the part about the flower.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:34 AM

Can we expect a quiet day, as our pal Rapaire lies etherised upon a table? Will the troops at the Legion remain quiet in their muttering retreats?

Come back soon and disturb the universe!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:43 AM

It's a bit early to be etherized, it isn't even Palm Sunday yet!

But if Rap's in a sugar coma, I'm willing to bet most of the Legion is passed out from one or another substance


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