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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Ed T 10 Nov 09 - 04:39 PM
GUEST 10 Nov 09 - 04:37 PM
Rapparee 10 Nov 09 - 04:01 PM
Little Hawk 10 Nov 09 - 03:39 PM
MMario 10 Nov 09 - 01:46 PM
Amos 10 Nov 09 - 01:42 PM
Ed T 10 Nov 09 - 01:41 PM
Ed T 10 Nov 09 - 01:34 PM
MMario 10 Nov 09 - 01:05 PM
Amos 10 Nov 09 - 01:04 PM
MMario 10 Nov 09 - 12:43 PM
Rapparee 10 Nov 09 - 12:29 PM
Little Hawk 10 Nov 09 - 12:29 PM
Amos 10 Nov 09 - 12:18 PM
Rapparee 10 Nov 09 - 12:09 PM
MMario 10 Nov 09 - 12:06 PM
Amos 10 Nov 09 - 11:39 AM
Janie 10 Nov 09 - 11:33 AM
Acme 10 Nov 09 - 11:28 AM
MMario 10 Nov 09 - 10:45 AM
Amos 10 Nov 09 - 10:38 AM
Ed T 10 Nov 09 - 10:23 AM
Rapparee 10 Nov 09 - 09:29 AM
Amos 09 Nov 09 - 11:24 PM
Acme 09 Nov 09 - 10:46 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 09 - 09:57 PM
Ed T 09 Nov 09 - 09:48 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 09 - 09:04 PM
Ed T 09 Nov 09 - 08:35 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 09 - 08:27 PM
Janie 09 Nov 09 - 08:12 PM
Janie 09 Nov 09 - 08:09 PM
Ed T 09 Nov 09 - 07:10 PM
Amos 09 Nov 09 - 06:55 PM
Acme 09 Nov 09 - 06:47 PM
Ed T 09 Nov 09 - 06:12 PM
Ed T 09 Nov 09 - 05:49 PM
Ed T 09 Nov 09 - 05:41 PM
Ed T 09 Nov 09 - 05:31 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 09 - 04:44 PM
Ed T 09 Nov 09 - 04:38 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 09 - 04:34 PM
Amos 09 Nov 09 - 03:39 PM
Acme 09 Nov 09 - 12:58 PM
Amos 09 Nov 09 - 12:51 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 09 - 11:58 AM
Amos 09 Nov 09 - 10:51 AM
Rapparee 09 Nov 09 - 09:40 AM
MMario 09 Nov 09 - 09:33 AM
Rapparee 09 Nov 09 - 09:16 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 04:39 PM

Minstrel: [singing] Wise and nobel Sire Rapaire rode forth from MOAB.
He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Rapaire.

He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Rapaire.

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Rapaire.
His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis...*(based on Monty Python, Brave Sir Robin)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 04:37 PM

Minstrel: [singing] Wise and nobel Sire Rapaire rode forth from MOAB.
He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Rapaire.

He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Rapaire.

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Rapaire.
His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis...*(based on Monty Python, Brave Sir Robin)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 04:01 PM

The wise and noble Rapaire, always sensitive about his honor, requested the wise and noble Little Hawk to act as his second.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 03:39 PM

Rolling in it, more likely...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 01:46 PM

hey! I just meant you'd been walking in it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 01:42 PM

How sharper than a serpent's tooth is the sting of an ungrateful colleague!! Oh, man of Emms, once benevolent and astute, how quickly you have become mean and cross-eyed and even, to use another military colloquialism, fucked up. Surely you could not, in your right mind, imagine someone would wear dog turds on their feet? Surely your grasp of biochemistry is better than to draw such a comparison, and you understand the difference between canvas and fecal matter?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 01:41 PM

Could this be enema man?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQA9ZoHtBcw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 01:34 PM

Man of Enemas?
How colonic!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 01:05 PM

and you know why his shoes are lily white?

Ever seen a dog turd that's been out in the sun a long time?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 01:04 PM

No rebuttal is likely. My arguments are fastidious and impeccable, unlike the delusory sloppiness of my friends Rapaire (who still thinks of himself as "over there") and Little Hawk, who would rebut ANYTHING under the sun if only it would give him an opportunity to bloviate philosophically). Man of Emms, at least, is being candid and honorable among MOABITES. THe rest of you may lick my lily-white tennis shoes.
AKA, "Shoes, civilian, tennis, lily-white, AA, Size 10".

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 12:43 PM

Amoz mumbled somfin or ofver 'bout:
parsing a common expression such as "How d'you like them apples?" (a colloquialism which requires extended cultuiral literacy to recognize

yup.

but is fun messin' wit your mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 12:29 PM

The wise, noble, and psychologically erudite Rapaire notes that Amos has taken leave of his once-acute mind and laments the loss thereof.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 12:29 PM

Would you like a rebuttal to that in 10 words or 10,000?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 12:18 PM

I spit on the shallow and uncultivated and insensitive pedantry being directed toward me.

BS in the non-scatological sense comes in streams, clouds, cascades, spurts, injections, innuendos, gales, guffaws, grunts, reams, screeds and diatribes. Common sense supports this.

ALso, really being fluent in BS requires a mastery of vernacular and colloquialism. For example there is a vernacular mode of description peculiar to the United States Armed Forces logistics departments, such as QUartermasdters, in which trails of adjectives are appended with commas to define an article. For example, "Shirts, men's, uniform B, blue, small". In a humorous vein, if one were addressing a knowledgeable, sensitive, and humor-endowed audience, one could extend this ridiculous architecture to parsing a common expression such as "How d'you like them apples?" (a colloquialism which requires extended cultuiral literacy to recognize) by, for example, presenting a parsed version as "Apples, liking of, how..." THis is definitely pure BS (and it is presented in screed form, not a pile) but absent the necessary prerequisite frameworks and education, the delicacy of it as such might easily escape the attention of an inappropriate audience. As here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 12:09 PM

The wise, noble, and grammatically erudite Rapaire notes that Amos has not, in spite of his age and education, grasped the concepts necessary for use of comparative adjectives.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 12:06 PM

See Amos? The girlz even know that BS don't come in apples; you're just trying to make believe you knew what you was talkin'bout.

Pfffllllltttttt!

Sincerley,

MMario


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 11:39 AM

Well, I was reverse engineering from the classic challenging remark about apples, liking of them, how. And I was using BS in its non-scatological sense, see?

Refresh that!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 11:33 AM

Eyup.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 11:28 AM

RS is rabbit?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 10:45 AM

Amos, it is obvious you need a refersher course.

BS comes in pies or piles

HS comes in apples

RS comses in raisens


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 10:38 AM

6. None of the above.

When Rapaire assumes his third-person voice, he is not being himself. Stepping away from your own center is ignoble, unwise, indecorous, and ill-informed.

More wise, more noble, and more decorous by far is to own your own universe and speak from its true center.

Hod d'ye like them BS apples?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 10:23 AM

Wise and noble...maybe yes, maybe no....it may be open to debate.

Decorous, realistic, modest,influential... are all good questions to add?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 09 - 09:29 AM

The wise and noble Rapaire agrees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 11:24 PM

I love each of you to the very bottom of my feet.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 10:46 PM

Next time you offer MOM Tostitos she's going to ask if you toasted those toes like you toasted the BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 09:57 PM

The noble Rapaire believes you are putting Decartes before de horse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 09:48 PM

Spucatum tauri ...Flocci non facio, René


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 09:04 PM

The noble Rapaire replies to Descartes, "Cogito cogito cogito, ergo cogito cogito cogito sum, cogito."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 08:35 PM

"I concluded that I might take as a general rule the principle that all things which we very clearly and obviously conceive are true: only observing, however, that there is some difficulty in rightly determining the objects which we distinctly conceive."Rene Descartes


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 08:27 PM

The noble Rapaire agrees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 08:12 PM

Oh, and LH? I forgive you for being so enamoured with Bill the Shat and Wynona.

May you be blessed with an evening with Madonna.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 08:09 PM

I forgive you for the toasted BS, Amos.

I urge the noble Rapaire to go practice his noble forbearance with Shane.

I forgive Stilly for living in Texas.

I forgive Mmario for having so many other relatives that it distracts from his filial duties to his Siblings-in-Moab.

I forgive Khandu for midwifing this thread to begin with.

I urge BWL to make sure the kiln does not flood or have a tree fall on it, and let us know if any alligators accidently get roasted in a firing - in time for all of us to descend upon his abode for a "swamp-pig" pickin'.

And I forgive Ed T. on general principle.

Come on, Ma, let's go paint the town.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 07:10 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oK6IEoCT24o


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 06:55 PM

We've been there and done that. It is correct there is no single word, but they can be rhymed., if you know where to find the righthyphen.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 06:47 PM

No word rhymes with month, purple, orange or silver.

That sounds like a challenge to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 06:12 PM

The average person spends 1 - 2 months during a lifetime looking aimlessly into the fridge for something to eat.

No word rhymes with month, purple, orange or silver.

The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 05:49 PM

"Kate Wilkinson sat in warm bathwater in the weird but wonderful old-fashioned porcelain tub in her New York apartment. The apartment exuded 'old' and 'worn' in ways that practitioners of shabby chic couldn't begin to imagine"
quote James Patterson

"It was sooo great. I'd go out at night with those fake boobs and people treated me differently. At first I thought it was weird, but then I got into it. Man, it's amazing what breasts do! [on using false breasts"
quote Bridget Fonda


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 05:41 PM

"You can try to suck me dry... But, there's nothing left to suck. Just you try to hold me down Come on, try to shut me up" Gutless by Hole


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 05:31 PM

Hey MOM,
I think he got it.
( Not to be confused with...."The rain in Spain, stays mainly in the drain").


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 04:44 PM

he noble Rapaire doesn't give a flying fact whether Jimmy does or not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 04:38 PM

"Jimmy doesn't agree"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 04:34 PM

The noble Rapaire disagrees, but only in the matter of diffuse optical tomography of blue event horizons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 03:39 PM

Huhn!! THe comparison has escaped me until now. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 12:58 PM

You'll have to excuse Janie, I think she can't post this morning because she gagged on that image of double-toasted BS while she was eating her bowl of Corn Chex. Too similar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 12:51 PM

The quality of BS is not strained. Who would want strained BS, anyway?? It's better when it is double-toasted. Makes it crunchy. The noble Rapaire agrees.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 11:58 AM

The noble Rapaire agrees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 10:51 AM

Mom,

Rapaire is beside himself again, and talking about himself in the 3rd person. Could you slap him upside the haid a couple times? Thanks. He needs refreshing in his own point of view. I know he gets discouraged by the endless stream of invalidative comments around here, but he doesn't need to cave in like this.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 09:40 AM

The noble Rapaire agrees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 09:33 AM

2075 for me. I'm sorry MOM - I am such a bad son!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 09 - 09:16 AM

The noble Rapaire agrees.


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