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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 21 Aug 17 - 05:07 PM
Acme 20 Aug 17 - 06:57 PM
gnu 20 Aug 17 - 06:45 PM
Amos 20 Aug 17 - 12:13 PM
Acme 20 Aug 17 - 10:19 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Aug 17 - 10:31 PM
gnu 19 Aug 17 - 05:54 PM
keberoxu 19 Aug 17 - 05:51 PM
Amos 18 Aug 17 - 11:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Aug 17 - 08:34 PM
Rapparee 18 Aug 17 - 08:30 PM
Donuel 18 Aug 17 - 07:40 PM
gnu 18 Aug 17 - 06:47 PM
Acme 18 Aug 17 - 05:07 PM
Rapparee 18 Aug 17 - 10:31 AM
Donuel 17 Aug 17 - 03:34 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Aug 17 - 02:15 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Aug 17 - 02:06 PM
Amos 15 Aug 17 - 11:29 PM
Donuel 15 Aug 17 - 02:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Aug 17 - 11:55 AM
Amos 15 Aug 17 - 12:23 AM
keberoxu 14 Aug 17 - 01:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Aug 17 - 03:58 PM
Donuel 13 Aug 17 - 02:28 PM
Acme 13 Aug 17 - 01:19 PM
Donuel 13 Aug 17 - 10:43 AM
Rapparee 12 Aug 17 - 09:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Aug 17 - 02:52 PM
Acme 12 Aug 17 - 11:27 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Aug 17 - 11:14 AM
Rapparee 12 Aug 17 - 09:46 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Aug 17 - 02:55 AM
Rapparee 11 Aug 17 - 09:39 PM
Acme 11 Aug 17 - 08:19 PM
Donuel 11 Aug 17 - 01:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Aug 17 - 12:19 PM
Donuel 11 Aug 17 - 10:25 AM
Rapparee 11 Aug 17 - 09:36 AM
Donuel 10 Aug 17 - 10:03 PM
Rapparee 10 Aug 17 - 09:34 PM
Amos 10 Aug 17 - 06:46 PM
Donuel 10 Aug 17 - 01:23 PM
keberoxu 10 Aug 17 - 11:54 AM
Rapparee 10 Aug 17 - 09:29 AM
Rapparee 09 Aug 17 - 09:56 PM
Acme 09 Aug 17 - 09:36 PM
Donuel 09 Aug 17 - 12:46 PM
keberoxu 09 Aug 17 - 11:19 AM
Rapparee 09 Aug 17 - 10:02 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 17 - 05:07 PM

Well, the eclipse is over. It wasn't the exclusive event I had been led to believe. And then, at the end, just as it was reaching climax and totality, the whole thing was covered by a large cloud. All that money I paid for admission down the tubes!!!

We had six adults and two kids on the boat as guests yesterday. My very own brother couldn't make it because of his knees -- he was going to the doctor today and promised to ask about it so I'll call him tonight and see when the surgery is. He's only got a couple of months before his youngest daughter's wedding.

Tomorrow, Chester, Illinois! Home of Popeye the Sailor Man! We'll have canned spinach for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Four hours in Hannibal, Missouri, boyhood home of Sam Clemens, and twelve hours in Chester. Something is seriously wrong here.

Oh, yes. Sam came on board yesterday and talked to the passengers in the Grand Saloon. He asked for questions from the audience. Afterwards I asked him if he'd speak about his essays "1601" and "A Study of the Science of Onanism." He said that he was glad I hadn't asked those questions. I suspect those questions asked where asked by shills.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 17 - 06:57 PM

Big batch of beans on the stovetop, MOM. I'll be busy freezing it later after it cools. I wish I hadn't burned my thumb with a splash from the pot. This is enough beans for about three weeks worth of lunches. I'll make some rice and leave a plate in the fridge for each of the boys.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Aug 17 - 06:45 PM

Be alert. The USA needs Lerts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 17 - 12:13 PM

It was an August night in the South--humid, sultry, and hot. The Verdict restaurant in Graham, NC, is on a block that borders Courthouse Square, and in the center of Courthouse Square is a tall column bearing a statue of the Confederate soldier. All evening long, as we played our three 45' sets on the patio, there were mutterings, motorcycle drivebys, and some concerned whisperings amongst local citizens out enjoying dinner on the patio. By the time we wrapped up our set at 11:00, the four streets leading intot he square had each been blockaded by a squad car with flashing lights. There was a small, sullen crowd around the base of the memorial column, presumably there to defend it, although I couldn't see anyone against whom it required defending. The evening's entertainment was well received, and the borrowed sound-system worked well, and the manager appreciated us and we got paid. She said she closed a little early out of concern for the safety of customers. So there was a certain amount of tension in the air, but no brickbats or strident yells of any kind. I drove home without any problem. But August isn't over yet. North Carolina was a reluctant addition tot he Confederacy--the last one to sign aboard--but the old judgements still ripple through the bloodlines of some locals. Few, but enough to make you stay alert.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 17 - 10:19 AM

We're on the very edge of the eclipse path so won't see an effect more remarkable than the diminished light of a cloudy day. Of which we have had so many this month that it won't be unusual at all. It would be nice to have clear skies to see the skies dim a little.

Sound like a nice and well-planned boat trip, Rap. Some of my best visits with friends are the brief ones while they're in transit, on a layover at our local airport. I drive to the terminal, they exit the security gates, and we sit out in a terminal sharing a picnic lunch I've brought along. They head back, I head home, and we're both happy we've made the system work for us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Aug 17 - 10:31 PM

I'm paying no attention to the eclipse other than planning on not driving while it's happening. Too many opportunities for idiots to try to watch the eclipse and drive at the same time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Aug 17 - 05:54 PM

One half of a 1kg Vito's Lasagna (U-bake) has a lot of calories. I don't know how many calories. All I know is that I ate all of them and every single one was deeeeelicious.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go for a walk and fart.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Aug 17 - 05:51 PM

anybody counting down to the eclipse?
I'm not. Not much anyway.
Counting down to when it's over, more like.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 17 - 11:29 PM

"Not to be used in making ice-cream sodas".

Bless all of Mom's chilluns this day. May the grueling heat of summer wane and bring you pleasant climes and flourishing times.

Tomorrow night I play three long sets at the Verdict in Courthouse Square, Graham, NC. Do drop in and give us a listen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Aug 17 - 08:34 PM

Hi, Mom! I bought a box of baking soda today.

On the box, it says in large print, "BAKING SODA".

Under that, it says in smaller print "Great for Baking".

I guess so much baking soda gets used for swimming pool maintenance, carpet cleaning, refrigerator deodorizing, and tooth brushing that they feel it's necessary to actually tell people that baking soda can be used for baking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 17 - 08:30 PM

Odd. I posted earlier today that I would post this evening. So I am.

Amos, consider someone at the wheel of a vessel sailing in a storm. The sails are reefed and the captain shouts, "Bring 'er to larboard!" to helmsman. The helmsman hears "Bring...to...board!" and turns right. The ship piles up on Skull Rocks and only the captain and the helmsman survive, arguing. Thereafter the skipper says "port" instead of "larboard" and skippers many other vessels without mishap. A captain must be clear in his/her orders!

I know, we are currently approaching Lock and Dam 16, carried on the bosom of the Father of Waters. We bid au revoir to the quaint little river town of Betterndorf, Iowa this morning and set sail for the bucolic burg of Burlington, where we shall moor on the morrow. Much has happened on this voyage, not the least of which was the visit by four of my cousins today. And more visitors in Hannibal. And more in St. Louis. And in Memphis....

Currently we are passing the towboat "Clement C. Atlee." The sun is going to rest in the West and the placid river just keeps roiling along.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Aug 17 - 07:40 PM

I'll host the most boastful post of roast toast with ghost pepper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Aug 17 - 06:47 PM

I'll post too. Haven't been here in a while. Probably won't be anytime soon. Might read the posts since I was here last. Might not. Just keeping... oh, fuck, I don't know. Keep the faith. Post on!

gnightgnu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Aug 17 - 05:07 PM

I'll post now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 17 - 10:31 AM

Mom, I'll try to post tonight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Aug 17 - 03:34 PM

<>
Baby on
water
board


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Aug 17 - 02:15 PM

Mom! Wake up! You're sleepwalking again!

(Happens every time she drinks Hawaiian Punch mixed with Bacardi 151 rum.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Aug 17 - 02:06 PM

Well, if a larboard isn't a board for cleaning lars, what am I supposed to do with this 48 quart cooler chock full of the things? I'm certainly not going to use my regular fish-cleaning board. It's reserved for more civilized fare. Maybe if someone sells a blobfish board it'll do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 17 - 11:29 PM

It was just a case of supplanted terminology. It happens all the time. But no reason to confuse them.

Larboard was the "load side"--typically the side of a ship used for loading cargo in earlier times.

The term--the opposite of starboard--was gradually replaced with "port" to designate the left side of a vessel as seen facing for'ard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Aug 17 - 02:50 PM

I did not know that


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Aug 17 - 11:55 AM

And here I though larboard was a board on which one gutted and filleted a bunch of freshly caught lars prior to frying them.

In lard, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 17 - 12:23 AM

It is sheer idiocy, IMHO, to confuse larboard with starboard, Rapparree. Everyone knows that larboard is to port.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Aug 17 - 01:18 PM

Folk-clipse or no folk-clipse, MOM, you need to get back upstairs now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Aug 17 - 03:58 PM

I once wrote a paper defending the ending of Huckleberry Finn for a class taught by a prof who thought it was the greatest blunder in American literature. Got an "A" on the paper somehow, but didn't really convince myself, much less Dr. Momberger.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Aug 17 - 02:28 PM

I enjoy hearing English majors debate.
English is my soft underbelly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Aug 17 - 01:19 PM

The last twelve chapters were insisted upon by Samuel's publishers, who wanted another popular lighthearted Tom Sawyer hit on their hands. It wrenched the story around in a way it didn't need to go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Aug 17 - 10:43 AM

Excellent abstract review.
All hail Raparee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 17 - 09:52 PM

Au contraire, mon vieux Bee-Dub! It is in the last half of the book when Huck truly realizes that Jim IS a real person. Remember, Huck says, "Well then, I'll GO to hell!" about freeing Jim and thus achieves his own status as a human being as well. Tom Sawyer makes Jim a stereotype again AND fails to tell anyone that Jim is actually free and has been for soon time. Tom fails, not Huck. Huck can't understand all the stuff Tom gets going (pie plates out the window with scratching on them, "Here a poor lonely heart busted," etc.). Huck realizes Jim is another human being, Tom is the epitome of the romantic Antebellum South.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Aug 17 - 02:52 PM

Huckleberry Finn is truly a groundbreaking book. The shift between the first and second halves of the book, from "Jim as real person" to "Jim as stereotype" amounts to the first time an author threw the black guy under the bus. And they didn't even have buses yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Aug 17 - 11:27 AM

This reminds me that I should reread Huckleberry Finn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Aug 17 - 11:14 AM

I asked because a piano-player friend of mine played calliope on a Mississippi riverboat for a season or two. I'm sure it would be an interesting gig. Right up to the point where jumping overboard became preferable to playing "Waiting for the Robert E. Lee" one more time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 17 - 09:46 AM

Yes, Bee-Dub, there is a calliope AND someone who can play it. And the main propulsion is the paddle wheel at the stern, although there are other means should there be problems. Here's a picture. We'll be in cabin 406, second deck from the top, about the 3 cabin from the stern on the starboard (larboard for Amos) side.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Aug 17 - 02:55 AM

Will there be a calliope onboard M/V American Queen? No Mississippi River cruise is complete without a calliope. Or maybe that rule only applies to paddle-wheelers and stern-wheelers. Ships with screws may be exempt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 17 - 09:39 PM

Sunday, at O700 MDT (+6 hours), we will board an aeroplane to fly to Sal Lacum Urbem and thence to Minneapolis. After a night there we will proceed to Roter Flügel and board the good ship M/V American Queen for a leisurely trip down the Mississippi River. We shall return to our little cabin in the mountains on Dies Laboris. But do not fret, Mother! Your favorite will be able to join you during his voyage! So be good and stay out of gaol, if possible.

Oh, yes -- should you wish to send a nice bon voyage gift, well, do not assume that it would be unappreciated


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Aug 17 - 08:19 PM

Heckuva long week after a long summer. School starts soon. Another glass of single malt, anyone? Put your feet up on the table, MOM, relax a little. I hear a thunderstorm moving overhead. Enjoy the atmospheric drama, and not having to go anywhere for the next two days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Aug 17 - 01:52 PM

hahaha There outta be an Armageddon Tennessee.
Dear Horatio,
Going west at sunset on the NYS Thruway I saw a slow moving large fireball with illuminated licking flames going north. I pulled on to the shoulder to watch and pointed at it as traffic went by.
This was no meteor etc. It was more like plasma in slow motion.
Better than any eclipse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Aug 17 - 12:19 PM

There are flashing warning signs along Interstate 81 in Tennessee that say "NO PARKING DURING ECLIPSE!" I don't get it. The emergency lane is for emergencies, right?. Well, if the end of the world doesn't qualify as an emergency, what does? We should be able to park anywhere we want to view the approach of Armageddon. After all, we won't be parking at all after it gets here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Aug 17 - 10:25 AM

"Lets hope agent Starling's parents were not both low rollers"
from the movie Hannibal.

Sometimes just breeding like traits like 'near genius' can have unanticipated results.

It was thought that the highest Indian caste called the Brahman had a bluish cast skin because of in breeding. It turns out it was due to high amounts of silver in their diet. Anyone can do it. Maybe this will become as popular as ink or piercings. Michigan University students will love it, Go Blue!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 17 - 09:36 AM

Yes, inbreeding will do that. Just look at European leaders just before WW1. Hemophilia. And of course the doors are closed on madness (except where it was all to evident to the public), mental deficiencies, and other things inbreeding brings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Aug 17 - 10:03 PM

Its all absolutely true according to my own sci fi fantasy chronicles.
While the Alien hybrids spread rapidly through the Chinese population in ancient opaque history, India experienced the aliens only second hand by capturing alien technology. We know how that turned out.
Incidentally;
In those times elephants were equal to men in intelligence, hence the religious significance. Elephants helped build 5o story high temples in India but in breeding sapped them of their intelligence by the end of that epoch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 17 - 09:34 PM

Actually, trees have been dynamited to fight forest fires. Buildings were dynamited to fight the fires started during the San Francisco earthquake of 1906. So if you have a gun big enough you could shoot down the trees and create a firebreak. The problem is that wildfires aren't just in forests, but grasslands and scrub brush as well. Shooting a sagebrush is kinda futile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 17 - 06:46 PM

Jaysus, Donuel! That explains almost EVERYTHING!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Aug 17 - 01:23 PM

When speaking Chinese there are no male or female pronouns.
Perhaps they are the chosen people whose ancestors were aliens with dominate genes.

Note how the eyes have obviously evolved from large almond eyes to see in the dim red dwarf star light to small almond eyes to see in the bright white light of the sun.

Rap put your ammo away. It is as useless as shooting at a forest fire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Aug 17 - 11:54 AM

There's nowt so queer as folk-clipses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 17 - 09:29 AM

That's it. I'm finished. I'm getting out the 12 gauge. The flowers in the boxes along the deck rail become all dry and stuff even though I water them ever other day, water them quite thoroughly. Yesterday evening I again saw a hummingbird stick its beak into one and it dawned on me that it was sucking the life force out of the flower.

THAT'S why the flowrs turn dry and into seeds! Floravampiric hummingbirds!

I'm casting silver shot to take 'em down with permanently! The local Garden Club will back me!

DEATH TO THE FLOWER SUCKERS!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 17 - 09:56 PM

Destruction of the moon Neith. Us Earthlings blasted it out of existence. To protect the sensibilities of the weak among us, the destruction was cleverly billed as a meteorite exploding in Earth's atmosphere. Next up, Lilith! That's going to be harder because Lilith is always 180° to Earth's position -- that is, always behind the Sun relative to Earth. We may try a bank shot off of Mercury.

It is a folkclipse -- They do not make a differentiation between male and female as They eat barbecued Earthling.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Aug 17 - 09:36 PM

After time for rest and recovery from the family party, I am still processing extra food. Things are going into the freezer parceled in a way that will contribute to meals for weeks to come. MOM has been offering tidbits to the dogs, who love to lick bowls and pick up bits dropped on the kitchen floor. Alas, she slipped on a piece of chicken and toppled backwards over Zeke who was lurking nearby. Before she could get up all three dogs were in her face giving her kisses and nudges. Around here, if you're at their level, you get kissed. That's just all there is to it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Aug 17 - 12:46 PM

What the hell, was that a comet collision or a plasma fragment>


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 Aug 17 - 11:19 AM

Past tense then?

Was it a he-clipse or a she-clipse?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 17 - 10:02 AM

I have been warning everyone (and attempting to get people who care enlisted in Earth's forces) about the so-called "eclipse" on August 21.

You will be relieved to know that Their base on Neith has been found and destroyed.

We are now looking for Their forward base on Lilith. But do not fear! Earth's mighty defensive artillery (cleverly camouflaged as historic cannons) will wipe that blight from the Universe as well just as soon as it is found.


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